Originally, I was going to put different songs as the main one for this chapter, but the one I was listening to while I was editing just about summed it all up. ''Don't Forget'' in the EMW mix is what it's called (and I'm not joking when I say it sums it up. The opening sounds so close to his Imperial theme. Mash them up and it sounds like 9904 is mentally battling Crosshair) :'( (also, this chapter might a bit repetitive since it's about what he's thinking)

Okay, so maybe it might have been helpful if in the last chapter epilogue (extro? as opposed to intro? - I guess, technically it would be an 'epi' rather then extro...IDK, I'll use that though ;D) I had also said: this is where he gets salty, but it's not exactly coming right off getting the chip out. That's the first scene. The second is basically a retelling of what happened in the training room through Crosshair's POV and sad view...Might be better if I explain it like this:

First scene is more mental whereas the second half is what actually happens physically and what we see.


It had started then. After Bracca...After he had been released...he had waited, spending long sleepless nights staring out the window of their old quarters - now being overrun with natborns...they'd already scrubbed the place clean of whatever else had remained of the Bad Batch.

Hunter's squad flag design he'd helped sneak in the paint for over the sergeant's bunk; the scrawling designs, theories and whatever else Tech had hastily written on the walls when he couldn't find his datapad within a few seconds...Wrecker's small scribbles of cartoons that had been hidden behind posters. His sniping records, the ones he had spent years perfecting because he knew he would never be accepted as 'strong-enough' until he could take care of himself...and the only way he could prove it was through total perfection of his craft...

But even then, it seemed that in the end, it had meant nothing.

He had waited for the only people he knew he could ever even try to call 'family'...

But they never came.

His wounds and outward scares had healed. Time came and faded, missions - filled with screams of pain and suffering caused by his own hands - came and went; sleepless nights filled with suffering in his own mind - both from the fact that everything felt so wrong with the natborns in his brothers places and from how whatever freedom he'd ever had was gone - came and vanished like mist in the wind.

They never came back and he could only guess why.

The kid? Were they just so caught up in trying not to get her killed that they had run into some complications and just couldn't get to him at that moment? Were they just biding their time? Maybe waiting for him to just track them into a corner and then be alone so they could actually do something?

That's what he'd thought. That's what he'd hoped.

Then he'd seen them on Bracca.

Seen just how willing they were to kill him if it meant keeping the kid was safe. So what? Was she his replacement? Was that why they hadn't come back? Did they not need him anymore? Did they even think about him anymore? Maybe that he didn't exactly want to be what he was? That maybe if he hadn't been controlled, he might not have tried to kill them because they were brothers?

Because...they were still brothers...right?

What were they even doing there on Bracca? Did they even know what was really going on? Why he had been trying to kill them? Did they ever even think of trying to get him back?

No...it didn't look like it. They were just trying to run...from him. And that said it all.

I never wanted to be this person, The small, quiet voice in his head morns - the voice that is the reason why he cries quietly - alone - at night, heart feeling ripped from his chest every time the tears stung his eyes. I never wanted to be the sick, twisted person I know I've become. I know I was never the best or even most ideal brother - no where near it, but I was never...I never knew how to be anything else.

All I ever wanted was the family I could only dream of. Then I found out what they really thought. They may have come back with a sob story as to why they didn't come back...but the fact remains that they didn't even try to come back until it was for someone else. And when they did, all they gave me were excuses. Every time.

Didn't they know that he already knew they didn't care for him the way he had for them this whole time?

They had said they'd wanted him back, tried to get him to join them in their mindless wandering of the galaxy while just trying to survive instead of living out their purpose as soldiers...but if they really had, then they wouldn't have waited so long. They didn't want him.

They only said they did and that hurt most, knowing what they said and what was true didn't line up.

He had waited for his squad to come back...but they never did until it was for someone else. They never truly cared. He was just the back up. They hadn't cared because he was such a pain, despite how much he tried to stay out of their way and it was rare for him to mean any of the things he says.

They were supposed to be the balance...they all balanced each other out! Sure, it made them butt heads more than a dozen times, but it never last long! Usually everyone was apologizing within the next day or so. Only once in his whole memory could Crosshair ever remember the squad being angry enough with each other that they didn't crack until a week. But that week had been the longest they had ever been apart.

Now, they wanted to be together...but their idea of together didn't include him.

So he had to know.

Did they hate him...?

There had only been one way for him to find out. And now he knew.

There on Kamino, back in the same training sphere they had first met...the evidence was standing right in front of him with blasters at the ready.

Tech...No, his little brother, the only one who really was even close to ever understanding him, the same one who didn't even have to be able to see him in order to decipher his mood and the appropriate fix...Now, his eyes were cold and scared, glaring at him with something that Crosshair could only translate as hate.

Wrecker, the big goofball of the guys. Sappy as all get out, smart as a brick...and also the biggest heart in the whole squad. One man might be going through a rough time, but anywhere he would go, the big lump of sap would follow, whether that man knew he needed it or not. Now he glared him down with the stance that he only gave when he was ready to kill. And Crosshair was the only one standing in the sights.

Echo...The reg was grouchy, but he was also older and understanding. He had never really seemed to like being around the sniper, but he had at least tolerated him...enough, at least. Whatever toleration he had put up with was gone. He couldn't care one lick of what the others did to him, seemingly only as long as the kid didn't see it.

And then there was Hunter...His big brother. The calming, steady hand of the pack...He'd claimed it was the inhibitor chip's fault; that this wasn't who Crosshair was. That he could drop it all and go back with them. The look in his dark eyes had tugged at him only for a moment...just for that moment, Crosshair had wanted to believe him. Believe that he was wanted again.

But it's too late for pity. The world gave me none.

All my pain: came from you.

All the doubt to my position: because of you.

All the chances at holding on to the only purpose I'd ever known I'd had: gone because of you.

All the hope I'd ever had that you would come back for me: gone...because of you. You and some girl who took my place.

And here's what I don't understand: I was always there for you. I was always the one who watched your back...why did you leave mine?

All I asked for was my brothers, all I wanted was the family that had kept me together as a kid, kept me from shattering from the inside out...where did it go?

What did I do to deserve being left behind?...


''We were loyal to each other.'' Hunter snarled, ''not to some...'Empire'.''

Ah...is that what he thought? Cute. But that wasn't the reality, now was it? He already knew that his next words would shatter whatever Hunter had been telling himself about why he had never come back until now.

''You weren't loyal to me.''

Sure enough, Hunter's eyes widened, hurt and sorrow suddenly visible in that split second.

Watching his expression change, something in him broke. Crosshair wanted them back. He wanted to be part of a squad again, not just some mash up of people with skills. He wanted his squad back. And before he could stop it, he continued, expecting to feel all the bend-up emotions he'd had since the chip had been removed, all those sleepless nights he had wished the war had never ended...all come pouring out of those few next words...but he didn't.

Whatever he might have felt didn't exist; all he felt was completely numb as he spoke.

''I was one of you. You may have forgotten, but I haven't. And it's why I'm going to give you something you never gave me...a chance.''

He could practically feel the surprise echoing throughout the room. He was too...but to him, it just confirmed how much he still loved his brothers...even if it was only one-sided.

Still, watching the man he once called brother behind his visors, Crosshair's eyes hardened. He had to. Otherwise, he might not go through with what he was about to do. He had given his speech...his propaganda...their options. Now all that was left was the action. But it all depended on what Hunter would choose.

He broke Hunter's binders and shoved him towards the rest of the squad.

''We were brothers once...we can be again...''

He saw Tech glance off to the side, noticing the reflector, and nudge Wrecker...

''Why would we trust you?'' Hunter asked, eyes narrowing.

In response, the sniper lifted his pistol, and sighted down the sergeants forehead...then looked at his troopers.

''Stand down.''

They didn't seem surprised at his command and shook their heads, weapons still trained on the batch.

''Negative, commander.''

They knew why he had trapped the Bad Batch. They weren't going to listen.

Behind his helmet, his eyes locked with Hunter's. Memories flashed off all the times the whole squad had been together, a functioning unit just as it had meant to be...

The Imperial troopers were standing one moment; then the next, they were on the floor, smoking blaster burns in their chests where the single bolt had shot through each of them.

Surprised, the Batch glanced around and Hunter faced him again as Crosshair stepped forward, taking off his helmet.

''Does that answer your question?''

After those first few steps, he paused...and kept going, subconsciously moving closer - having to move closer.

''You all are meant for more than drifting through the galaxy. It's time to stop running. Join the Empire, and you will have purpose again.''

''You really don't get who we are, do you...''

He almost sounded disappointed. It wasn't a question. Their minds were already made up about him...

''Don't make the same mistake twice...'' Crosshair hissed.

Please...please, don't leave me behind. Not again...

''Don't become my enemy.''

''Crosshair...'' he watched as Hunter's expression softened, ''we never were.''

Before he could reply, the training alarm blared on. They all froze, watching as the heavy battle prototype training droids rose from the floors, weapons raised.

If this was your way of planning to kill me, Tech...

He didn't get to finish the thought; Hunter had already tackled him. Blaster fire whizzed overhead, the 'chunk, chunk' of droids drowned out anything the others might have been saying, then...WHACK!

Hunter slammed Crosshair into the ground, and rolled back up to his feet, already firing at another slew of droids who had risen in front of them.

Kriff, if they hadn't turned them on, who had?

Hunter gave him a glance, almost afraid to turn his back on him...but he did, and continued to fight.

I don't want them to die...

On his side, Crosshair picked up the rifle...and fired over Hunter's shoulder, joining in on the fight. For the first time in a long time, it was just them, doing what they did best.

And then it ended.

The last droid went down, and he stood, touching his forehead where a headache had grown for the passed few hours. He heard a gun cock...and the sniper found himself once again on the other side of the others, facing them down, staring Hunter's blaster straight down the barrel.

Hunter...why...

He glanced over at the others, watching as they silently moved into position, weapons at the ready - even the kid. Lightly touching the barrel of the only friend he'd had really had since he'd been left behind, Crosshair turned away to faced the sergeant.

So...this is how it ends, then. Should have expected this. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

''Crosshair.''

His breath was coming in shallow gasps, tired mentally just as much physically.

''Forget the empire. This isn't you...its your inhibitor chip. We can help you!''

Still going on about that. Yeah...then it was time they knew.

''Wrong...I had my chip removed...as long time ago.''

Silence. For just a moment, everything stopped...

''Since when!?'' Hunter demanded, voice shaking ever-so slightly.

Crosshair could almost hear what had to be going on his head.

No, no, it isn't true, it isn't true!

Well...it was.

''Does it matter?''

In other words, would it matter to you?

''Yes!''

Mentally shaking his head as he sighed to himself, Crosshair thought, I had been so close...so close to coming back. But it's over...

''This is who I am.''

Hunter still had his blaster trained on him, but Crosshair didn't necessarily care.

He didn't care about anything now, really.

After months of waiting, pain, and mental screaming matches, it all came back to the same fact he had been trying to ignore since his chip had been removed.

They wouldn't take him back. Not now. Never. Not after what he'd said earlier.

This is why you should just keep your mouth shut! No one will hear you so then the only person to blame you is yourself. Keep quiet and no one will know. No one else will have to suffer through hearing your problems that you're too weak to carry yourself.

And besides, even if someone did hear...no one would care.

Trying to keep his expression blank, he went for his rifle, already knowing the outcome. Hunter was going to kill him.

Before he could even finish lifting his rifle, the shockwave stung his nerves, staggering him, nulling his thoughts...but through the din, he realized something.

That was a stun bolt.

The last thing he saw before he pitched forward was the same expression on Hunter's face as he had known himself to have...betrayal. It wasn't just him. He'd wondered what the others would say if they'd found out he wasn't being controlled any more...hadn't been since Bracca. But that wasn't it. He had been ignoring it this whole time, thinking it was just a tactic he was using to get him to let Hunter out. But no.

That compassion vailed by hurt was real.

His big brother...wanted him alive...

Why?...


Why? That does seem to be the question, doesn't it? Now we just have to wait a few hours until the last episode comes out...DX I'm not ready. Just gonna say, I'm fully expecting to cry. I wanted to after the last episode, but I'm not typically the type to.

I admit, it felt weird towards the end. Especially the fight scene. I just wasn't sure how to fix it. (but at least it's not the worst thing I've written :)

Well here you go. I hope this was interesting (since 'enjoyed it' is completely probably the wrong thing to ask given the topic) :D Thank you for reading, and I will be seeing you soon!