A/N So they say that at some point every Chuck FF author has to have a go at the final episode. This is my attempt and I hope you enjoy it. Still not Green Feet…sorry about that for all those waiting!

I do not own Chuck

Chuck vs Patrick Duffy

Wow, he's certainly a good kisser, Sarah thought, strangely enjoying the feeling of being in Chuck's arms. But there was no flash of light, no whirlwind of memories. She tried to stifle her disappointment and maintain the kiss. There may be no memories, but this somehow felt right. Being cocooned in his arms felt safe. She'd never really felt like this with anybody before. That she could remember, anyway.

The moment was over before she could really analyse it. They both needed breath, so they pulled back. He still held her in his arms and he looked at her hopefully.

"Anything?" he asked, looking into her eyes. She didn't know what he saw there but she saw the disappointment come into his eyes straight away. How had he read her so easily? She was one of the CIA's best agents (or at least she had been) and he'd read what she was thinking in a second.

She sighed ruefully. "I'm sorry Chuck, no memories. But…" she paused. She wanted to give him something. She wanted to make him feel good. Why was that?

"But?" he asked, subsiding next to her. It was like all the energy had been sucked out of him. She saw the despair, the despondency in his eyes and somehow it made her ache. It made her hurt. It made her hurt for him, she realised.

"Well, it's gonna sound crazy…" She didn't know how to say this. She wasn't great with talking about feelings. Had never had to before, really. Just that short time with her Mom when she'd taken the baby to her.

He looked at her enquiringly. "After the last five years Sarah, nothing is ever gonna sound crazy again."

She quirked a smile. Certainly from reviewing the mission logs and the stories he'd just told her she could understand that. She took a deep breath. She hated this but this was a good man and she owed him this. He'd jumped in front of a bullet for her and, from the sounds of things, saved or tried to save her life on lots of other occasions. "I didn't remember anything. But I felt something."

His eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline. "You felt something?" he asked. "What?"

Oh God, she knew he was gonna ask that. It couldn't be enough to just leave it at that? This was difficult enough for her already. "I guess I felt safe," she explained in a small voice, not facing him.

"Wow," he observed quietly, repeating "wow" under his breath as he turned his body to face her. "But what does that mean? I mean for us?"

Why was he making this so difficult? She was a spy for God's sake. She didn't want to talk about her feelings. Certainly not with this man.

"I don't know Chuck," she replied candidly. "I don't know…" she tailed off, then continued somewhat desperately. "I don't know anything any more. I can't go back to the Agency. I'm a liability – I'd have no idea if I was in danger from someone I'd had dealings with within the last five years. I can't stay here with you…"

"What?!" he exclaimed. "Why can't you stay here with me?"

"Chuck, I tried to kill your sister! I betrayed our team," she explained, as if to a four year old. "None of your friends are going to want to speak to me again, least of all Ellie."

He moved forward and made to hug her. As she flinched back, he carefully laid a hand on her arm, starting to rub it gently. "You're so wrong Sarah," he told her quietly. "They all want you back. Even Ellie. Especially Ellie. They all know you weren't yourself, and that if you were, then you'd never do anything like that."

The rubbing was soothing and she felt herself falling against him bonelessly. She had never done this with a man before but with him it felt so natural. He extended his arm around her.

"Please come back," it was almost like he was pleading with her, this man who she'd treated so badly. This man who understood her so well that he could read what she was thinking when no-one else in the world had ever been able to. "You could stay in the spare room. I could stay in the spare room if you want, so that you might see familiar things around you. I don't want to put any pressure on you, I just thought that it would be easier for you to be around the familiar and I…" He tailed off as she put her finger on his lips.

What am I doing? she thought, pulling her hand back, yet the gesture had felt so natural.

"Sorry, I spiral sometimes," he explained to her.

"I noticed," she was hard-pressed to keep the grin off her face and certainly didn't manage to keep it out of her voice.

Would it really be so bad? Now that she was allowing herself to have an open mind, she realised she did honestly feel something for Chuck, even though he was totally not the type she usually went for. Maybe that's why? she wondered. Had she used to go for bad boys and agent types because she knew they'd hurt her or because they'd be easy to move on from? Chuck was the antithesis of her normal boyfriend, but she could tell he cared for her deeply, at both the emotional and physical levels. Maybe even loved her.

The problem was that Sarah didn't really know what love was. Maybe old Sarah had learnt what love was over the course of several years but Sarah as she was now, as she had been then, didn't. But maybe you could again? The thought burrowed into her head. It was kind of like a dream for Agent Sarah Walker, just as it had been for little Sam all those years ago. Sam had dreamt of a Prince Charming to come and whisk her away from her life. Jenny had wished for someone with a big house and a big heart who wouldn't be put off by all the cons. Sarah knew that her list of misdemeanours was longer and gorier than Jenny's. She hadn't thought that anyone could ever forgive her for all that she'd done, the cons she'd pulled, the lives she'd ended.

But here was Chuck. Someone who seemed to understand her better than she did. Who could read her like a book. And who surely knew who she was and what she'd done. And who still cared for her anyway. Even after she'd tried to kill him, his sister, betrayed his team and ripped out his heart. Someone who still pleaded with her to come and live with him.

"Yes," she said, before she could change her mind.

"Yes?" he asked, puzzled, cocking his head. "Yes what?"

Embarrassed at the fact that she'd given an answer to a question he'd only asked inside her head, she took a deep breath and faced him. "Yes, I will come back with you. Yes, I will try to reclaim my memories. Yes, I will try to find the Sarah Walker you loved."

"Wow," he replied almost breathlessly, "Don't tell Morgan the kiss worked. He'll be impossible." They both smiled at each other and he held his hand out for a shake.

She clasped it and they shook. "It's a deal."

"And for the record," he added as they clambered to their feet and started heading for the car park at the back of the beach, "I loved the Sarah Walker I knew at the beginning of our relationship, I loved Sarah Bartowski, and I love you – whoever you become. Nothing will ever stop that."

Sarah was floored. She tripped over her own feet, falling back towards the ground. Great! she thought as she realised her head was about to hit practically the only large stone on the beach. Just my luck; I just had a way forward and now I'm gonna get amnesia again.


"Sarah?" The question seemed to come from afar, she didn't really hear it. Then there was silence, then the sound of a door being quietly closed which finally snapped her awake.

She lay with her eyes closed, trying to assimilate the space around her. She was in a bed, that much she could ascertain. A big bed, she thought, given how the sheets fell across her. She was wearing normal sleeping clothes; a T-shirt and panties. Not a hospital gown.

She didn't feel any pain in her head, which was strange, considering the last thing she remembered was nearly coming into contact with that stone. There was a smell in the air. Chuck. That's what the smell was. It smelled of Chuck. But how did she know that? She realised she just did.

There was a quiet sound of another door closing. A bigger door this time; an outer door, she thought. She couldn't hear anything or anyone around her, so she took the chance to open her eyes. She was in their bedroom at the apartment. It looked just the same as ever. His side of the bed was rumpled as though he'd been sleeping there but he'd left. She reached out and it was still warm. Their wedding picture looked down at them from the wall. She looked ecstatic but weak to her eyes. She was a master at hiding it, but she could see the barely hidden concern in Chuck's expression, the love. He was elated but he was concerned for her. As he'd been all that day, treating her with kid gloves.

Wait! All that day?

She remembered that day? And she did, thinking back. Waking up in the hospital after Chuck had gotten the cure for the Norseman. Amazed that she had lived. Amazed that her nerd had come through for her again. No other agent in the world would've been able to do what he'd done. He'd come back to her. To save her life. And then, remembering the look of elation on his face, the love.

How did she remember this? She looked at the next picture, from a stolen moment in Macao and remembered that as well. How could she suddenly remember? Unconsciously she realised she'd sat up. She reached for her head but there was no wound there. Not even the trace of one.

She reached out for her phone on the side of the bed. And it was there, just where she always left it. The date. The date was wrong. December 14th. But it was February 8th when she and Chuck sat on that beach after they'd finally beaten Quinn. What is going on here?

She looked at her photo gallery. The most recent pictures were Chuck and Ellie and her mom and Molly. Molly? Her sister Molly. The child she'd rescued in Budapest. She remembered. That paralysing fear that Ryker would take away everything from her that she held dear. Chuck and Casey standing by her. Insisting on helping her. Killing Ryker. Finding her Mom and Molly. Alive. Cocooned in love in the Bartowski apartment. Just as she was.

She rose to her feet as if in a dream. It was all here. Her life. The emergence of her love for Chuck. The ups and downs of their relationship. She remembered all of it.

Her legs had taken her into the living room. On the console table was a note.

"Didn't want to wake you; you looked so peaceful. It seems your sister drunk all the milk. Heading down to the grocers for some supplies. Back in a little bit. Love Chuck xxx"

Could it genuinely all have been a dream? She couldn't quite believe it. It had all been so real. Chuck kidnapped. Her reconditioning. Removing all of her memories. No.

No.

Just no.

Sarah collapsed to the floor, remembering the look of anguish on Chuck's face when he finally appreciated that she had no memory of him. She had caused that. Worse than the torture to her was the pain it had caused him. The hurt. The despair. She wasn't even conscious that she was crying until she felt the tears drip off her nose.

That was how Chuck found her 10 minutes later.

"Sarah?" he called, opening the door, then he saw her collapsed on the ground, crying her eyes out. "Sarah!" he repeated, slamming the door shut and rushing towards her. "What's wrong? Is it your mother, Molly?"

He dropped the bag of groceries and gathered her up into a tight hug.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked gently, pushing her hair back out of her eyes and cradling her against him. She melted into him, aware of all that she'd believed lost but now had regained. She could not believe that she could think that she had lost all memory of him. It was like some lousy science fiction that George Lucas dreamed up after a bad pizza. Almost like the prequels, she thought. That thought, if anything, brought her back to the present. My nerd has infected me, she thought, making me think about George Lucas.

It wasn't the only thing he'd given her. He'd given her love, warmth, a place to call home, a family, genuine friendships. He really was a very special man. She reached out and pulled him into a hug of her own.

"I'm sorry," she told him into his shoulder, "I had a really bad dream. A really, really, really, really bad dream."

"It must have been a doozy," he told her, gently massaging her head, "I've never seen you like this."

"Well, you should ask Morgan. I was pretty bad when The Belgian took you."

"He just said you were damn scary. And you don't seem scary." Sensing that she was ready to talk, he pushed back and looked at her with his beautiful brown eyes. "Want to talk about it?"

She didn't but she owed him an explanation. "You were captured by this rogue CIA agent called Nicholas Quinn."

He gave a kind of smile. "So far, so believable. Before we met, I had no idea how many rogue agents there were out there!"

She returned his smile, grateful for his attempt to lift her spirits. "Casey and I went to save you and I downloaded an Intersect to try and give me a head start."

He reacted with shock. "Oh Sarah, you must never do that! It's not worth it!" As she went to tell him he was, he raised a finger to her lip. "They're not stable. We all know that now. Besides my kickass ninja spy girl doesn't need an intersect. You've never needed one."

His belief in her melted her. He always knew just the thing to say. "Well I did," she continued, "But it was faulty and I was taken hostage. And then," and here she paused, unable to continue. "And then…" she still couldn't get it out.

He reached for her, and she burrowed into his side. "Did he…assault you?" Her husband's voice was sick with worry.

"No! Not like that," she hastened to reassure him. "But it was somehow worse," she confessed. "He used the faulty intersect to remove my memories of you, of the last five years. And then he tricked me into thinking you were a rogue agent."

"Oh Sarah honey," he gasped, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That is a bad dream. Is that when you woke up?"

"No," her voice was weak now. "He let me go and I…" again she struggled to get it out.

"Can I tell you what I think happened?" he asked, voice now strong, resolute.

She nodded into his shoulder, grateful for his strong arms around her.

"I think my kickass ninja spy girl started the mission like a good little spy, but somewhere during it she realised that she'd been tricked. Then she went off on her own to correct her mistake, eventually realised she was part of a team, then ended up catching Quinn and saving the day."

She pushed him away in shock. "What?"

He looked at her, a glint in his eye. "Am I right?"

"Sort of, but…how?" she asked.

He shook his head and grinned. "It's you Sarah. It's who you are. Graham's best agent, but not the wildcard enforcer everyone and Graham thought you were. An agent, but also a very intelligent woman. A woman with a conscience, with a heart. A woman who tries to take everything on herself to shield those around her. It's not like you haven't got form!"

She went to deny it and then realised she couldn't. Just this week she'd hared off to Budapest without her team. Hoping to protect Chuck from her past. When he so didn't need protecting. Once again she was stunned that her nerd knew her so well.

"You were close," she told him ruefully, "I killed Quinn. You saved the day. Morgan was pretty helpful too."

"It sounds pretty much like a team job to me, wouldn't you say?"

"I spose so," she admitted, not happy about him trying to push aside the fact that he had saved the day. Even if only in a dream.

"Was that when you woke up?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "I was so confused. Things had happened that I didn't understand. I tried to get away. Away from the feelings. The people. But you tracked me down. You told me our story. It was different, hearing it from your perspective. I'd heard it from my video logs but not from your perspective before. But I still didn't remember. Then you asked me to kiss you. You said Morgan had this hare-brained idea…"

"Wow, I was pretty forward in this reality wasn't I?" he joked.

"Not forward enough Mr Bartowski," she growled.

"And did the kiss miraculously bring everything back Mrs Bartowski?" he rejoined playfully.

"No, no it didn't," she replied sadly, "Not the memories. But perhaps it reminded me how I felt about you."

"And how is that, Mrs B?" he flirted.

"What, apart from the fact that you're the biggest doofus to ever walk the Earth?" she asked.

"You wound me Madam," he told her clutching his heart, but then his expression became serious as he saw she was.

"I felt safe," she told him in a small voice. "I always feel safe with you. You protect me. You love me."

"I always have. Always will," he told her seriously.

"I know," her voice was quiet, emotion-laden. She did know.

"And was that when you woke up?" he enquired.

"Nearly," she replied. "You asked me to stay, to try and work it out. And I agreed, and then we were walking to the car, and then I tripped and fell. And then I woke up."

"I'm sorry honey," he told her. "I'm sorry that you had that horrible dream, but know that I will always love you."

"Thank you," she told him in a small voice again, bowled over by his simple statement. "I realised that when I lost my memories of you I'd lost everything. Everything I'd learned. Everything I've become. I felt so bereft."

He shook his head against her. "God forbid you ever lose your memories, but we'll just make more memories, and better ones. Because I'm not letting you go Mrs Bartowski. You're it for me."

"I love you," she managed, before the emotional floodgates opened again.

They sat on the floor holding each other for a long time.


"I spoke to Beckman. She said she'd check for a leak from the Intersect program." It was Monday morning, the day after she'd awoken from her dream. Yesterday had been a quiet day. The dream and its aftermath had occupied her thoughts and her mood. The possibility that she could lose everything that she had, everything she'd fought for, was a huge splash of cold water.

Chuck had tried his best to lift her spirits but it was almost like she was in shock. They'd spent a large part of the day just lying together on the sofa, her wrapped in his arms. She relaxing to the reassuring sound of his heartbeat in her ear.

This morning she'd woken up still cocooned in his arms. She'd felt stronger this morning and she'd resolved that what she'd dreamt would never have the chance to happen. Chuck had offered to call General Beckman while Sarah got ready for the day.

Now he returned to find her making breakfast.

Smiling, she nodded to acknowledge his news. It was a long shot, but she didn't want to take the chance that her subconscious was trying to tell her something and not act on it. Everything that happened in the dream had been completely awful as far as she was concerned but there was one thing she kept coming back to.

"Chuck?" she asked, seeing his head come up from his cellphone screen as he regarded her questioningly. "How would you feel about changing the direction of Carmichael Industries?" There it was. Out in the open now. She couldn't take it back.

"In what way?" he asked, cocking his head.

"Well, it occurs to me that I live with one of the world's biggest nerds. Who also happens to be one of its best hackers." Chuck looked at her, clearly puzzled. "I'm talking cybersecurity Chuck. We could contract out to the government, corporates. Casey and I could use our contacts to help get us in to pitch, you would do the technical work and, if we needed some physical back up, Casey could liaise with Verbanski. What do you think?"

He looked at her assessingly. "You would be behind a desk?" She nodded. "Are you ready for that?"

"If you'd asked me a few days ago, the answer would have been no. Now it's yes. I saw what I could lose Chuck. What we could lose. If we continue along this road. I don't want to play with that. We've worked our socks off to get to where we are. We have your family, now we have my family. We have brilliant friends. We need to quit while we're ahead. Besides. I can't be a mom and be an active agent."

Uh oh, it looked like she'd broken him! He was following her up til the last sentence but then he goggled at her.

"A mom?" he practically squeaked.

"Didn't Ellie explain the birds and bees to you Chuck? You know when a man and a woman love each other very much and they make love – they're doing it for a reason!"

His mouth had dropped open but then she saw the playful glint in his eyes. "Oh really?" he questioned as he pounced forwards, catching her before she had a chance to get out of the way. Then he tickled her sides. She hated being tickled. She tried to bounce him off, but he moved so fast it was like he still had the Intersect. He was giggling all the time and so was she.

"You're gonna pay for that Agent Bartowski!" he taunted, still carrying on the infernal torture.

"Stop! Stop!" she pleaded, but he didn't fall for her faux surrender. In fact, he waited til she was totally out of breath then picked her up over his shoulder and carried her to the bedroom.

"I'll give you birds and bees!" he told her. And he did. And she loved every minute of it.


One year later

The dream had been a turning point, Sarah realised, as she observed the happy group of people in their back yard. It had forced them to change their course and they were all better for it, her most of all.

Carmichael Industries had been a runaway success in cybersecurity in a way that it had never been previously. Chuck's genius and his ability to hire talented people to work with him, coupled with her contacts in the Beltway and her burgeoning sales skills, had resulted in them winning more contracts than they knew what to do with.

They both worked behind a desk these days. And she was happier for it. She didn't have to worry about what mischief Chuck was likely to get them into next. Casey was happy in his role of liaison on physical security and was also their COO, making sure things got done. She knew he'd been tempted to go back to the NSA at first but Alex and, strangely enough Gertrude, had prevailed on him to take a step back and he was better for it.

He wasn't a big smiler, but she knew he was more relaxed and happier than she'd ever known him.

Morgan had been a revelation. The Beard had really grown up over the past two years. He'd originally come in as a logistics organiser but, as the company expanded, had become head of logistics and Casey's deputy. They still had some fun back and forth, but Morgan's continued commitment to make Casey's little girl as happy as she could be, and his professionalism, had improved the big man's opinion of his daughter's suitor.

Carmichael Industries was making money hand over fist, which would have been great on its own. The fact that Diane Beckman had managed to unfreeze their assets just meant that they were stupidly rich. But they hadn't let it change them. They'd moved from their small apartment to the dream home that Chuck had found for them, and she and he were deliriously happy in their lives.

She had bought herself a Porsche to replace the Lotus that she'd never really liked and Chuck had bought himself a Tesla electric Roadster which he loved driving. They'd bought some new pieces of furniture, a top of the line security, computer and entertainment system, and that was practically it. They'd never have to worry for money again, and she was pleased about that. She still had some stashed away in secret places around the world and she'd leave it there now. It was there if either she or her agent friends ever needed it.

Ellie and Devon and Klara were back in LA for the weekend, enjoying the greater heat here than in Chicago in February, and Carina was in town as well. She was a regular/occasional visitor, as was Zondra – basically whenever one or other had downtime between missions. Chuck's Mom, Mary, was carrying Kara. She'd been at the house a lot since Chuck and Sarah had shared the news of her pregnancy last month and Sarah was wondering if she'd have to come up with some sort of mission to get Mary out of her hair. She resolved to discuss the situation with Ellie. Maybe her sister-in-law would be able to find a way to help.

John was playing with Molly. Who would have ever thought that the former NSA agent could be such a teddy bear? But Uncle John, as the kids knew him, was a firm favorite with both of the younger members of their extended family. Her Mom was talking to Chuck and Alex, and they all turned to her as she stepped out of the house.

"Morgan says he'll be here in 15 minutes," she explained. "The emergency's all dealt with." All three smiled at her and Sarah couldn't help noticing that Alex seemed to have put on a bit of weight around the middle. She'd ask the question when she got her friend alone. Maybe she didn't know yet or maybe she was keeping it secret for a reason.

Her husband held out a hand to her as she approached and pulled her in for a quick kiss on the cheek. She couldn't quite suppress the thrill that always shot through her when he kissed her. She looked up to see her mother grinning at her. The two had enjoyed the opportunity to revisit their relationship over the past year. Encouraged by Chuck, they'd got a lot of stuff out in the open and it had worked. Emma and Molly had become regular visitors at the Bartowski home and "Uncle Chuck" was deeply loved by both her mother and Molly.

What an amazing run it's been, Sarah mused to herself. Who would've thought that a nerd from LA would change my life? But he had, and now she looked forward to every new day and what it would bring.

The End.


A/N: When I was a kid, Dallas was the top-rated show on TV. In 1985 the actor who played Bobby Ewing, Patrick Duffy, decided to quit the show. But life outside didn't go quite as planned and he wanted to come back. To shoehorn him back into the series they decided to make the entire previous season "all a dream". So, it's been done before. Why couldn't it be done again?

I hated the final arc in Chuck. I hated what they did to Sarah and Chuck and just thought it was an awful way to end. If they were hoping to be renewed they made a terrible mistake. I've read some great fics that build on from the end and a special shout out to Sarah vs Finding Herself by Thinkling, which is one of my favourite stories set after the series. But I knew that's not how I'd make the series end if it was my choice!

There've been a number of discussions on what would have been the best episode to end on over in the Chuck FF Facebook group (please come and join us to debate Chuck fanfiction if you'd like) and I agree with several authors there that episode 5.08 would be a fitting place to end. So I decided to end it there! Author's privilege.

All months as per the timeline on the Chucki Wiki…even though I'm not sure I agree with them! Actual dates are made up.

Please leave a review and tell me what you thought!