updated 11-10-20


FEBRUARY 1915

GUSTAVE

Life was but a dream as I left the carriage and walked up to my front door. I couldn't get over what had happened. How could such simple words make me feel lighter than air? I couldn't seem to wipe the smile off my face. I heard every love song I had ever known playing in my mind and they all seemed to be written for her.

After much explaining, I was able to clear things up a little bit with Lara's parents. I could only hope I hadn't made too big a fool of myself. They seemed very understanding of the circumstances, Philippe in particular. Yet again, he gave me the impression that he knew more than he was letting on, but there was no time nor was there a reason to dwell on that now. She loved me - she kissed me! - and nobody could take that joy away from me.

I walked inside the house to find Papa in the kitchen washing dishes; he had seemingly had company as well. He turned around when I walked in and a smile spread across his face which immediately told me that I was about to be bombarded with questions about my evening.

"Well, you look absolutely giddy. I take it things went well for you tonight," he said. I could tell he wanted to mock me but I really couldn't care less. I wanted to tell him everything…and in that second, the full scope of the evening came into view. I had to explain her family relations to Papa. I knew there was only one way he would react, but knowing him, it would be easier to talk about the good things first.

"Well, there were developments," I replied, trying to dance around the subject as long as I could.

He scrunched his eyebrows together, clearly getting tired of waiting. "What kind of developments?" he queried.

"Both good and bad."

"Well then, let's start with what's making you smile so much." Thank god I was right and he had asked about the good things first. I still hadn't come up with a viable way to approach the subject of the bad news.

"Oh Papa, I don't think I have ever been this happy," I began, a warm feeling filling my chest as my mind went back to that beautiful moment when she kissed me. "She told me she loved me, and then she kissed me! Oh, now I understand how you must have felt with Mother. It's like the world just makes sense! I feel truly alive, like I've only been in some mundane version of reality this whole time."

He gave me a pained smile, but it was a genuine one nonetheless. I knew that bringing up Mother was a risky move, but I knew he would understand my feelings for Lara if I did. I hadn't been able to see their love in action, but I knew that my Mother had been the light of my Papa's life, and now I felt that very same love for myself.

"Yes my boy, it was just like that," he said quietly. "I'm very glad you found the woman who does the same for you."

"It was absolutely perfect," I said with a content sigh.

"Well, you've generated a rather contradictory statement for yourself, haven't you?" he asked as he laughed a little at how lovestruck I probably looked. "You also mentioned some bad developments. What would those be? Is everything alright?"

Dear lord, he just could not let things go! I should have known better. "Well, before I explain what happened...I need you to promise me you won't be mad."

"I promise nothing," he said simply, making me sigh. Again, I should really have known better at this point.

"Fine then. Lara is related to a certain family that neither of us is very fond of." I didn't want to say the name unless he said it first; it could easily be a trigger for him sometimes.

He immediately looked more focused, almost like a dog that had caught a scent. I could see the anger in his eyes and within seconds, it was like a force emanating off him, though he was surprisingly calm as he spoke, but somehow, that made him even more frightening.

"Gustave, please tell me that you're not referring to that man," he said, a seething tone to his voice.

I saw no way around it besides just being upfront. If I tried beating around the bush now, he'd lose patience even faster. "He is her uncle," he confirmed.

"I don't want you to go to that house again," he said firmly as he turned to leave the kitchen.

I felt my stomach flip when I heard him. "Papa, let me try and explain what happened," I pleaded, begging him to listen, but he had already begun walking away.

"This conversation is over, Gustave. I want you to end things with her and I don't want you mentioning her or her family in this house."

"You don't get to walk away from me!" I yelled at him. I hardly ever raised my voice with him, and I didn't want Lara to come between us but if that was where things were going, then that was what had to happen.

"There is nothing left to discuss," he said simply, his back was still turned as he resumed his walk down the hall towards the stairwell.

"There is plenty," I said before I walked right up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders, then turned him around to face me. "Papa, I love her."

He scoffed at me. "Really? I seem to remember you mentioning that her last name was Thomas. That is evidently not the case, since none of that man's sisters married a man with that name - I know enough about him to know that,- so she's lied to you from the beginning. What type of love is built on that?"

"If you would stop being so stubborn and actually let me explain, you would know the details," I said with an exasperated sigh. He was behaving like more of a child than I was and it was growing rather tiresome.

"Do you not remember what that man did to us? To you? To your mother? How could you even consider associating yourself with that monstrosity of a man, let alone his family?" he demanded.

"Believe me, Papa I have not forgotten," I said through gritted teeth. "I am the one who still sees it all! Every single night! That man haunts me to this day!" I couldn't believe him! As if I could ever escape those memories! I could feel my own rage building up inside me once more. He spoke like he was clueless about nightmares from past horrors, which I knew he wasn't. Did he think that I hadn't heard him waking with a cry in the middle of the night from dreams about the past that he wouldn't share with me? That I hadn't looked into his room and seen him pacing back and forth, trying to control his shaky breathing? He was clearly more oblivious than I thought.

"Then why on earth are you running around with hearts in your eyes over his niece?" We were face to face now, him still looking down at me though we were only slightly short of eye level with one another. We had never fought as intensely as we were before, but it was as worthy a cause as any for me.

"Maybe because I am listening to my heart. Perhaps it's because when I am with her, I am able to forget what has happened. She makes me feel like more than I am, an even better person than I am now."

"And is that worth forgoing your family? Is she really worth the choice?!" Papa demanded. He was ready to explode as well, but that was the problem with us fighting; both of us were stubborn and short-tempered, which made things go too far too quickly.

"She's already done the same for me!" I exclaimed.

At that, he turned and started going up the stairs again, clearly trying to escape the conversation at hand once more. "We are done here, Gustave," he said sternly.

"Dear god, Papa, look at me!" I cried. He actually turned around which shocked me; I had thought he would just ignore me and just storm off. "Not everything must be dictated by facts and logic all the time. Some things cannot be controlled. A true composer should know that better than anyone! You've taught me the entire time that you have been in my life and you said you had told Mother the same, but with the way you're talking now, it seems that you lied to both of us and I hate you for it!"

He said nothing, but his expression and the way he flinched slightly when he heard me said it all. It was still one of anger, but that was quickly fading into heartbreak and shock. He obviously hadn't been expecting me to be so forceful with him or to use such strong words, and honestly, neither had I. Without a word, he climbed the stairs and closed the door to his room and, seeing no other option, I did the same.

I tossed and turned in my bed all night, barely sleeping at all. Papa and I had never fought like that. Sure, we had our little disagreements over the years but most of them had ended with a quick solution. We'd never gone to sleep angry with one another, and I had certainly never said that I hated him; I never would have thought of doing that if we hadn't been fighting that way we had been. I knew that if Aunt Maddie had been here, she would have hit us both over the head for being foolish and demanded that we apologize.

I just couldn't believe he was asking me to choose! It had been just the two of us for so long; we meant the world to each other, which I suppose was where that demand was coming from. On top of that, we hadn't had to worry about the Vicomte in ages, only for him to return and come between us. He had hurt us both so much; it wasn't fair that he still had that type of power.

But for Papa to place the blame on Lara for something she had no knowledge of was not only cruel to her, but to me as well. He was the one who had always told me not to judge someone by their past and that was exactly what he was doing...and it wasn't even her past.


After a sparse, restless sleep, morning came and I had to face him. I took my time getting dressed, hoping I could be late enough that I could just run out the door for school and avoid conversation. No such luck, though; it seemed some form of higher power wanted us to finish what we had started.

He was in the kitchen making breakfast when I got downstairs, but he didn't turn or acknowledge me when I entered the room. I had to stand my ground - I needed to make sure he knew I was capable of being serious about the matter at hand. He had to realize how much she meant to me.

"Good morning, Papa," I said quietly, barely even looking up as I packed my school bag. That was when he decided to look at me, and I noticed that he looked a lot like I did; it seemed he had gotten much sleep either last night if the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes were any indication.

"Good morning, Gustave," he replied with a noticeable pain in his voice. Neither of us liked it when we fought and last night was undoubtedly our worst. I could feel my resolve crumbling quickly as I looked at him. We had both been out of line and we knew it.

"I'm sorry," we said simultaneously, which got a small smile on both of our faces. We truly were similar to a fault. We both opened our mouths to continue, but he let me start.

"I hate us fighting Papa, I really do. I'm sorry I yelled at you, and I apologize profusely for saying that I hate you because that couldn't be further from the truth. I love you so much, those were angry words. On the true topic, though I don't regret the other things that I said." My voice may have lacked confidence but I had to make sure he heard me regardless. "I love Lara and I don't want to have to choose between the two of you. I was able to forgive her for lying about her family and I hope you'll accept that that is who she is. But please remember that she had no part in what happened to us."

"You're right, Gustave. I absolutely despise it when we fight as well. I never should have given you that ultimatum. I suppose I haven't changed much," Papa replied. I frowned a little when his voice cracked with that last statement, but I managed to contain my confusion. After a slight pause to collect himself properly, he continued: "What I meant to say last night - or rather, what I should have said - was that the world didn't want me to be with your mother and I refused to listen. You are my son so I should have expected that stubborn streak to be ingrained in you as well. What I saw on your face when you came home was like looking at my own reflection of when I first saw your mother. She's special if she has you doing that. Don't let go of that."

I walked up to him then and hugged him tightly, as he looked like he really needed it. He never liked to bring up Mother, so I knew it stung for him to talk about her. It always had and probably always would be a sore subject for us both. "I'll try my best," I said softly, smiling when I felt his arms wrap around me to hold me close to him.

We let go of one another and ate our breakfast together, but shortly after that, he noticed the time and said that if I didn't leave soon, I might be late. As soon as he got the idea in his head, he started pushing me and my backpack out the door, saying that he wanted to hear the full story about last night when I got home from school.


As soon as I arrived at school, William was at the door waiting for me, just as he always did. I said hello to him, but he wasn't who I was looking for; instead, I scanned the crowd, looking for a certain blonde ponytail.

The bell was going to ring soon and I was close to giving up hope that I would see her before lunch. That was when my eyes locked on her; she was coming up the main stairs with Jane. I told William to give me a minute before we made our way to our class, and without even waiting to hear a reply, I practically ran over to her. I picked her up and spun her around, leaving her reasonably shocked when I set her down.

"What on earth, Gustave?" Lara asked, laughing slightly as she looked around frantically to see if anyone was staring but I didn't care; they could stare if they wanted, but it didn't change a thing.

I took her hand and leaned over slightly to whisper in her ear: "Je t'aime." Simple words, yet they made her face go bright red. I hadn't seen her do that since we first met. She had one of the biggest smiles on her face and I knew I had the same. I whispered to her again: "Shall I meet you in the music room?"

She didn't even respond verbally; she just nodded. We were lost in time for a moment, just looking at each other, but then the bell rang and brought us both back into reality.

"Gustave, we've got to go, come on!" I heard Will call from a few feet away.

Lara seemed to get her words together when she heard him, as she said, "Well, I'll see you at lunch then."

She started making her way to class, but she must have forgotten her hand was still in mine. When she was at arm's distance, I pulled her back to me and kissed her. When we parted, her face had returned to the blushed state it had been a moment ago as I replied, "I certainly hope so."

We walked as far as we could together, hand in hand, until our different homeroom locations made us separate. Even as we went in different directions, though, we held on for as long as possible, never wanting to let go of each other and glad to know that we would never have to.