Chapter 1 - Slightly Unraveled
A/N: It's been years, friends. YEARS. Pre-COVID. A different world than what ours is now. But I felt the urge to write this. What "this" is isn't clear to me, but if you are all still here, it's for you. You know who you are.
~CeeCee
It was as if something inside of her, which she'd held tight, tight, tight, furled against her heart, had suddenly loosened.
It made her feel both giddy and terrified. It's because…because I thought it was immovable. That I was immovable. This motion inside of her, at the very center of who she was, felt impossible. As likely as if some giant hand had come, lifted a corner of Downton up by its cornerstone, given it a shake, then dropped it, like a child forgetting a wet rock by a stream.
Or a shell, dropped into the foamy surf.
She sighed, a small sound lost in the general hubbub of nearly the entirety of the Downton staff as they all poured in through the servants' entrance of Grantham House, weary and happy and sunburnt. Dazed and hazy, a sleepiness hovered over the group, gentler and less formed than the solid bone-weariness that usually ended their long days of labor.
Bits and bobs of conversations floated over her head, the pairs and trios of folks exclaiming general merriment and teasing at each other but not having the care or energy to form full thoughts after such a long, relaxing and restful day.
"Alright, then, Mrs Hughes?" At her elbow. Beryl Patmore. Elsie noticed she'd gotten a few extra freckles, scattered across her nose like a spray of sand.
"I think it was alright, Mrs Patmore. Even more than alright, don't you?" She wasn't equipped to analyze her own inner life at the moment, but she could assess the success of the day as a whole.
"Indeed I do, Mrs Hughes," the other woman stifled a yawn unsuccessfully. "A day of rest and relaxation, that I believe, in my humblest of opinions, started certain things in motion."
Before Elsie's mind or words could rise to the implied challenge, the cook's eyes traveled towards Ivy and the American lad who worked for Mr Levinson. Ivy, who'd jumped at the chance Daisy had turned down.
One bird flies away, one stays in the nest, where it's safe and known, she thought, musing. She was surprised by her own lack of judgement either way, at least in the moment. She knew her own internal revelations had rendered her usually decisive nature stymied.
However. Beryl Patmore was waiting for a response. "Well, Mrs Patmore, I do believe each individual made the proper decision for themselves today, including but not limited to, a trip to Brighton beach."
"The ocean is certainly inspiring, isn't it?" The two women were now lagging behind the younger staff members, and the cook's voice became more conspiratorial.
At last, Elsie's innate appreciation for humor broke through the haze, and a grin twitched at the corner of her mouth. "Indeed, Mrs Patmore, grand and truly unknowable as it 'tis, in the end."
This is what Shakespeare meant by 'a sea change', she thought, still grinning distractedly at her friend. Pun most certainly intended.
"'Tis easy to be pulled under, though, if you're not used to the strength of it," Beryl Patmore's face relaxed a little and followed Elsie's gaze over to where Downton's butler was shooing the staff off to bed, his relaxed countenance marred only by a whisper of irritation at his brow.
"Indeed it is, Mrs Patmore," Elsie yawned as well, covering her mouth, which was still turned up in a grin. It was a good feeling, this tiredness, created from play and relaxation and the summer sun and the endless crashing spray of surf. "And it always does well to remember, it's deeper that you'd think, at first."
She patted the other woman on the shoulder and, for once brought little attention to herself and snuck swiftly away from them all, her friend, the rowdy, sleepy staff, and, not least of all, the man who'd been her friend and yes, to some extent, partner in this life of service for so very long.
And who had now suddenly sent something which had been so very still, swirling about her. She wasn't if it would ever settle.
She wasn't sure she wanted it to.
