Kurt sat up a little but didn't move too far away from Blaine, his fingers still lingering at the nape of his neck.

"You can tell me anything, we were best friends before anything remember?" Kurt gently reminded Blaine, frowning a little as Blaine straightened himself up a bit and inched away from him.

"I-I don't even know where to start. I mean, I'm still trying to get my head round it myself so how can I explain it to anyone else and then what if they hate me for it and then you hate me too and then I'll have absolutely no-one and I just couldn't bear it and-" Blaine stopped talking as Kurt's finger covered his lips.

"You're rambling." He said kindly, cupping Blaine's jaw softly, "you always ramble when you're nervous. I know, scoot!" Kurt tapped Blaine's shoulder and manoeuvred them both until Blaine was nestled between Kurt's legs, his back resting against Kurt's chest. Blaine managed a small smile, this was always their favourite position for talking, it always made him feel so safe without having to look someone in the eye and getting even more nervous.

"I guess….I guess it started after we…after we broke up. Obviously you know I got cut from NYADA so applied to NYU instead and got an early acceptance. It wasn't the same though, I had no-one, none of our friends stayed in touch and I just felt so lonely. My parents had no idea or probably just didn't care - they did what they always do and threw money at the issue. They got me a new apartment, paid my rent, gave me an allowance, paid for my credit cards. Mom said that maybe being away from everyone would give me a chance to grow by myself but dad was a bit more honest and said he hoped I'd realised the time for nonsense had passed."

Blaine ran his fingers across the wrist band of Kurt's watch, trying to distract himself with the pattern embossed into the leather. He traced it with his finger tip while he wrangled his thoughts. Kurt waited quietly, giving his friend a chance to speak without interruption.

"After a few weeks one of the guys in my class invited me out to a club with him and some of his friends so I figured why not? I didn't have any other plans. So I went and we ended up in a gay club. It was weird though, having all that attention. My first night I got like 6 drinks bought for me by different guys and two different ones tried to follow me into the bathroom! It was weird but…it was kinda nice" Blaine admitted, shrugging his shoulders a little, " it became a regular thing and I realised after a few nights that if I made out with a couple of guys I could pretty much drink for free which was good because it meant my dad didn't see any charges on my cards. But then…." Blaine swallowed hard, feeling Kurt's knees tighten around him, holding him safely.

"One night I was a bit too drunk and some guy gave me a blowjob in a dark corner. It felt so good at the time but then after it was just….empty. But I wanted to feel good again, so I kept doing it. I'd blow them or they'd blow me. After a few weeks it just didn't feel like enough and one of the guys invited me back to his place. It was so stupid, I know that but…Kurt, I was so lonely. I'm pathetic and weak and I said yes. I had sex with him and for that night I didn't feel so alone. I felt like I mattered to someone, that I was good enough for someone - anyone - to want that way. So it became my thing. I'd go out two or three times a week and sometimes we wouldn't even make it back to their place. Bathrooms, alleys…it didn't matter. But the last guy….." Blaine wiped the tear from his cheek, only realising now he'd started crying.

"I don't know what his problem was but he was really rough. He pulled my hair and held my throat too tightly. I couldn't…y'know and he got mad. He just kept going and did it rougher and faster and it really hurt. I tried to get him off me but he was stronger than me. I tried to shout but he covered my mouth. He finished and then noticed I wasn't hard anymore and that's when he got even madder. He…he pushed me down to the ground and kicked me in the stomach. He said I wasn't worth anything more than a quick fuck and I wasn't even any good at that. He kicked me again and then just left me there." Blaine inhaled raggedly, trying to clear the tears from his cheeks.

"Oh Blaine, you're worth so much more than that, you need to believe me!" Kurt wrapped his arms around his friend tightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head feeling it shake beneath him.

"I didn't go back out after that. I wasn't exactly good company and I didn't get invited out again. Then two weeks ago NYU had a mens' health screening event. Something about trying to encourage men to look after themselves or something. One of my professors, her son was one of the doctors who was spearheading it so she made all of us go along and get a check up - eye test, physical, sexual health screening. Last week I got a call to go into his clinic to see him about one of the tests."

"Blaine……." Kurt's mind tried to jump ahead - gonorrhoea, chlamydia, herpes all of these were treatable and those bastard parents kicked their own son out!

"It's……I…." Blaine sat forward peeling himself out of Kurt's hold and moved to the other end of the couch. Kurt could feel his heart breaking as he noticed how small Blaine looked, holding himself as if trying to take up as little space as possible.

"Blaine, I'm here for you no matter what. We may be broken up but you're still my best friend, you're safe here. You can stay here for as long as you want. Nothing you can say will ever change that."

"You don't know that." Blaine shook his head, his own parents didn't want him associated with them anymore, there was no way Kurt was going to let him stay once he knew the truth.

"I do know that. I know that because I know you. I know that because no matter what happened you're still the same old Blaine I fell in love with when I was 16. Nothing will ever change that."

"I'm HIV positive."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

OK so there were a couple of different ways in my head that this fic could have gone and now that I've finally decided which direction to point it we're on the move! This is obviously AU so there will be inconsistencies between real world treatments and symptoms of HIV and what happens in the fic for fictions sake. I will post content warnings for future chapters but couldn't for this one or it kinda gave away the ending! Fic is an M rating due to the issues being raised.

Please remember safe sex and consent are important and get tested if you're worried at all! I can't list everything here but you can find your local sexual health clinic by using your favourite internet search engine.