The sun that rose in the Gerudo Desert was much larger and dimmer than expected, only taking up a quarter of the sky with as much as an eighth of the average brightness. However, the top portion of the Sacred Land was scalding hot. The sand the fighters walked through burned their feet with blisters, and their backs became swollen with sunburns even with their clothes on to protect them.
Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox, Ness, Captain Falcon, Ice Climbers, Sheik, Zelda, Marth, Young Link, Chrom, Mr. Game & Watch, Pit, Zero Suit Samus, Snake, Pokémon Trainer, Sonic, Olimar, Toon Link, Villager, Mega Man, Wii Fit Trainer, Little Mac, PAC-MAN, Shulk, Duck Hunt, Ryu, Cloud, Inkling, Simon, Incineroar, Joker, Hero, Banjo & Kazooie, and Mii Brawler were losing a lot of water within their heavy sweating and needed to drink fast. Red's Squirtle and Sonic tried to create gushes of water as fast as they could to splash it on the Smashers, but they simply evaporated under the intense heat no matter how cold, even if Sonic would drop the water to absolute zero.
Olimar's helmet was fogging up with the sweat and water vaporizing from his breath, and not even one of the Fire Pikmin he brought along could stand the heat. Mr. Game & Watch was the first one to collapse under the burning sun, planting his monochromatic face in the rough, dry sand. Ness pulled off one of his shoes and hopped in place as he tried hitting the sand out of his shoes, and most of the fighters were just about to give up and roast in the desert like an overcooked salmon.
Sonic was the first one to go under a heat stroke, trying to keep himself together as he crouched and began to cool himself with his breath. Even if his gaze was away from the large sun, he could still feel the intense heat burning his quills and digging straight to the skin on his back. He thought he could already feel his pores about to squelch with boiling juices at this point.
"I can't take it anymore!" Sonic cried out, kicking the sand. "This journey is just too much for me to take in! I'm burning alive here!"
"Don't you think we all know how it feels?" Mario asked. "We're trying to search for the Gerudo Town and rescue Ganondorf. You could at least calm down."
"Calm down? Calm down!?" Sonic exclaimed. "Look around you! We're stranded in the middle of nowhere because of your broken compass!"
"People, please," Zelda responded. "There has to be a way around this besides fighting…"
"Sonic, we're tired and thirsty," Mario objected. "Too bad if your water powers don't work under this heat. The least you can do is suck it up."
"Oh, so you think we should just hold hands and live for the better!?" Sonic argued. "Well, it's not gonna work, buddy! We're gonna fry in the desert until we become burnt lumps of coal!"
"Mario! Sonic! Stop this arguing right now!" Shulk told them, getting between the two short fighters and breaking up the fight. "We've found an inn. We can refresh ourselves there."
"Beat it, blondie," Sonic growled, exposing his dragon fangs through his snarl. "It's only a mirage."
"No, really," Cloud answered, pointing to where he sees the inn. "Shulk has found a resting spot." The fighters looked not far off into the distance to see a desert inn, surprised it was only a few meters away from them. It was salvation for them at last as they headed to the building, glad that they did not die out in the sandy wasteland.
When they entered the place, they heard the ancient music of the Gerudo play throughout the inn. There were many Spirits hanging out in the building, especially some of the lovely Gerudo themselves. About to thirst to death, the group headed to the bar counter where the Gerudo bartender was serving up ice-cold drinks for refreshments. Unlike normal water, this kind of drink did not boil and evaporate under the sun's intense heat, meaning there must be some kind of enchantment cast over these beverages. As soon as the Gerudo bartender saw the tired travelers free from Dharkon's control, she instantly knew what they need. Mario grabbed a small bag of Spirit Points and plumped them on the counter, pushing it towards her with dry gasping.
"You parched goonies," the Gerudo bartender noticed. "I know just what you need to fix you up. And don't worry. It's 100% off for weary travelers like yourselves, so you can keep those Spirit Points." The bartender began pouring this magical water into different cups and passing each one to the fighters. It wasn't long before most of the Smashers began chugging down the drinks, satisfied as they say down to finish their cold cups.
Fox McCloud was about to take another sip from his drink until he saw Sonic the Hedgehog sitting at the bar table, isolated as he simply took a small sip from his water and laid it on the counter. The Star Fox mercenary approached the blue hedgehog, noticing how the speedster was no longer glitching thanks to the Master Sword of the Sacred Realm.
"Is something wrong, Sonic?" Fox asked, sitting next to the hedgehog.
"Nothing…" Sonic responded. "I... wanted to believe these Rainbolements aren't irreversible, but I'm clearly having a hard time adjusting. Half of them I don't even know how to use." Fox pushed his drink aside, thinking about how to take care of the teenage hedgehog.
"You've already got the tool essentials: your homing attack, your spin-dashing, your spring, your fast 0-to-death combos," Fox pointed out, counting his fingers. "Hell, I've got some myself. For reasons unknown, I can light up my body in flames to give me a higher air boost."
"Your fiery jumps are clearly inherited, and anybody in the Lylat System doesn't have those quite like you, Falco, and even Wolf O' Donnell," Sonic noted. "I can clearly create electrical static - not counting the Thunder Rainbolement - naturally whenever a negative influence in my memories and emotions spark up, and I can even stop time. I've been testing them ever since I grew up on another planet. The Rainbolements themselves were given to me against my will, not giving me days or even years to adjust to them. During those five years I was supposed to be training with them, Dharkon let my to hang like a butchered pig while the mixture he created changed me into... what you see today."
"...I can help you use these powers for the better," Fox told the blue hedgehog. "I may not know a whole lot about how the Dragosmos used to train, but I will teach you to the best of my ability. Just let me know you will always be by my side, no matter what." Sonic hugged the Star Fox mercenary, his face nuzzling deep into his chest.
"I won't let you down," Sonic responded.
"Uh, excuse-a me," Mario called out to the Gerudo bartender. "Is there a way to get to Gerudo Town?" The bartender turned around as she was cleaning a glass with a hand towel.
"Of course," the bartender answered. "It's just behind where you're facing the entrance of this inn. It's not too far off. Be careful on your way out." The red plumber then got of his seat and headed straight out of the way he and his friends came in, grabbing a few more of those enchanted drinks.
"Let's-a go," Mario told his group, patting Link on the back. The Champion of Hyrule got up from his seat and followed Mario out of the inn. Fox and Sonic saw the two mascots walk out and headed out, along with all the other fighters. After they entered outside, they went behind the inn to see the large walls surrounding the town of the women of the Black Desert. They made their way to the grand entrance, which had beautiful tapestries hanging inside the gate. Standing by the sides were tough-looking Gerudo Spirits who stood about seven feet tall, their veils covering their faces. They were holding partisans by their waists, and they pointed those weapons at the Smashers before they set foot in the gate.
"Halt, intruders," one guard spoke. "What brings you here?"
"We're here to talk to your leader," Zelda answered. "This is an issue concerning Ganondorf."
"Ganondorf… the traitor of the Gerudo," the other guard said, lowering her partisan. "Of course. Make sure it's urgent."
"Can do," Zero Suit Samus responded. "Are there any restrictions?"
"There are a few," one guard answered. "Even if we allow all species through our borders, we can only bring in vai, or females in our town. Any voe, or man, that enters Gerudo Town is captured and thrown out."
"Why?" Snake asked.
"Don't ask us," the second guard revoked. "We didn't make the rules. Plus, now that the darkness has been lifted from the Sacred Land, our desert is rising in degrees, and our payment for modified water has increased drastically, so everything seems more expensive after… the gold in our chieftess' vault has vanished. If you can get through the gate, then I hope you investigate. They could also be tied with the one you call Ganondorf."
"Sorry, Banjo," Kazooie told the bipedal bear, flying out from his backpack past the gate. Zero Suit Samus walked beyond the Gerudo guards, and Zelda was just about to take Sheik with her before the two were stopped by the partisans.
"Despite appearances, I'm actually a vai," Sheik objected. "If you like, I can show you-"
"No. It's fine," the Gerudo guards responded, lifting up their weapons and letting the two girls pass. The Inkling also went through, and so did Nana and the Wii Fit Trainer. The rest of the fighters couldn't go through.
"We'll meet up with you guys at the temple where the chieftess is… I hope," Zelda told the Smashers before she and the female fighters walked off into the town.
"This is ridiculous," Sonic sighed as he and his friends walked away from the gate. "We can't even go through because we're all boys. How do we get through the town…?"
"Maybe use you voodoo magic to turn us into the opposite sex?" Mega Man asked. "You're probably fused with the ghost of a dragon, so you can come up with something."
"Hey! I haven't gotten that far yet," Sonic answered. "There are so many limits I have no idea I can go to, and turning us into women is one of the many tricks I haven't learned so far." The blue hedgehog then managed to spot a large boulder hidden from the eyes of the Gerudo guards. This gave him an idea to make sure the women of the desert weren't suspicious.
"Follow me," Sonic told his buddies as he went behind the rock. The fighters followed behind the boulder, ready to find out what Sonic had in plan for them. The blue hedgehog popped his knuckles, ready to work his magic.
"I may not be able to turn us into girls… but I can make us some clothes to fool these women," Sonic told them, sparkles lingering from his hands as he was ready to use his newfound powers again.
"You're gonna make us as how I appeared when I dressed up to get into the town?" Link asked, aware of the upcoming situation. Before Sonic could answer, he unleashed a sparkling cloud on the ground, which created belly-dancer outfits that replaced their original clothes. Link appeared in his Gerudo outfit, and everybody else noticed they were dressed in the same dresses the Champion of Hyrule was wearing.
"Geez… why does shit always happen to me…?" Sonic asked with exhaustion. As soon as the sparkling cloud vanished, the fighters saw what appeared to be Sonic, except he was dressed in pink belly-dancer clothing with golden markings, high heels that replaced his usual red shoes, and a magenta-colored hairstyle that mimicked the Gerudo flawlessly while lacking the veil everyone else had. Plus, the blue hedgehog had violet eye shadow, mascara, golden earrings, and blue lip gloss.
"I… feel uncomfortable," Sonic groaned, unable to move in the new clothes he conjured upon himself. Some of the fighters were rather shocked by what the speedster was wearing, trying to hide their expressions behind their veils.
"Okay… I really don't have to say this…" Fox sighed, taking deep breaths as he covered his face with his hands. "You look adorable in that outfit!" The other Smashers agreed with the Star Fox mercenary, thinking the blue hedgehog was rather cute.
"Shut up, guys!" Sonic lashed, his cheeks shown to be burning red as he was embarrassed. "I feel more like a response to fanservice!"
"At least be glad it's not a time like when Kazooie and I got fat," Banjo responded. The other fighters looked at the anthropomorphic bear, confused and weirded out, not wanting to hear about that again.
"Regardless, I suppose we should go through the town and hope none of the Gerudo see through our disguises and throw us out…" the Mii Brawler told them. "Besides, I think we can handle the desert heat in these dresses." The fighters nodded in agreement and headed towards the gate, hoping the guards didn't notice them go behind the boulder and crossdress. The guards pointed their partisans at the dressed-up fighters again. Their expressions changed from serious to flustered in just a few seconds.
"Oh… sweet mother of Lanayru," one Gerudo guard squealed. "Aren't you just the precious-looking things!? And you've nailed the traditional looks of the Gerudo flawlessly! Especially you, pink one!" The guard was referencing Sonic when she saw how kawaii the blue hedgehog looked.
"You clearly look like one of the many voe we kidnap to be our true loves and occasionally tie them up, gag them, and dress them up until they're completely dolled up! I still have my husband locked up in my hut."
"Okeydokey…" Mario responded in a higher voice, he and his pals slowly walking past the gate to the town. "I suppose we'll just enter then…"
"It's alright!" another guard responded, giggling while blushing madly. "We're totally not going to be suspicious of you and admit you're voe in disguise." Filled with confusion, the Smashers made it past the gate to the large town of the Gerudo. There were many more Spirits like the Gerudo, with many at street markets, training dojos, schools about the opposite gender, and spas.
"And I thought dressing up like a girl to rescue my girlfriend Tifa was ridiculous," Cloud sighed, adjusting his veil before he walked up to one of the Gerudo in the town.
"Excuse me," Cloud asked. "Do you know where we can find your chieftess?"
"Oh. It's just straight ahead on the path you're on, at the large palace," the Gerudo answered as she tried to balance the vase on her head. "Funny. A group of vai from different species came by and asked me the same thing."
"Zero Suit Samus and the others could already be at the palace," the Pokémon Trainer told the disguised group. "Let's head over there immediately." Red already ran off towards the large building in the center of the town, believing it to be the palace of the chieftess. The other Smashers followed after him, and Sonic was just about to follow them, trying to adjust to his high heels. The blue hedgehog then started hearing voices… eerie, disturbing voices. Sonic looked behind him and saw a familiar face. One that truly killed him years ago.
The other Gerudo Spirits didn't notice that the Master Legendary Mephiles was standing in the middle of the dusty street. The crystalline hedgehog simply stood there menacingly, staring at Sonic, which made the speedy devil more uncomfortable. His green slit eyes fixated on the blue hedgehog as a sign that something terrible was about to happen, but Sonic had no idea what. As another Gerudo Spirit passed by in front of him, Mephiles simply vanished without a trace.
"Sonic!" Fox called out. The blue hedgehog snapped out of it as soon as he heard the mercenary's voice, dashing after his friends as fast as he could. At the foot of the palace near the large stairs, the fighters managed to meet up with Zero Suit Samus, Nana, Kazooie, Inkling, Wii Fit Trainer, Zelda, and Sheik.
"We're here, girls," Little Mac said as Kazooie flew into Banjo's backpack and Nana hugged Popo.
"Where did you get these clothes?" the Wii Fit Trainer asked as she noticed the male fighters cross-dressing.
"Sonic made them for us," Shulk answered. "We're hoping we can get to the palace and try to ask the chieftess what's going on."
"I don't know," Sonic answered as he walked up the stairs next to the guards. "We just got past those guards at the gate thanks to pure dumb luck. There's no way the Gerudo are going to let anyone into the palace, especially when it's a major situation." As soon as he finished, the Gerudo guards saw him and squealed with excitement, dropping their partisans and hugging the dressed blue hedgehog tightly.
"You are just the most adorable thing!" one Gerudo guard cried, petting Sonic's head of dyed quills stylized into a traditional hairstyle. While Sonic struggled with the guards ironically cuddling him like a stuffed animal, the rest of the fighters ran into the palace.
"Nice work, Sonic," Chrom congratulated as they left. "You keep the guards busy while we talk to the chieftess." Once the other fighters went deeper into the palace, Sonic's eyes widened with fear as he saw more guards fall under his cute outfit and ran towards him to cuddle him.
"Goddammit," Sonic sighed, gritting his teeth and preparing for the worst.
Inside the palace, the group looked around to see if they could find the throne room, and there were more of the Gerudo tribe simply placed under watchful eye of each entrance individually.
"This is terrible," a voice spoke from the room guarded by two Gerudo Spirits. Normally, each other room was guarded by one.
"First, the sun is melting most of our structures, forcing us to increase our taxes, now all our hard-earned treasure has gone missing and our economy will collapse!" the voice continued. The Smashers entered the throne room to see the Master Ace Riju Spirit sitting on her throne surrounded by her peers.
"Your Highness, please," one of the Gerudo servants told her. "Surely all this has to be the Ganondorf Primary's fault…"
"I know who stole our treasure, and it's not the Ganondorf Primary," Riju objected. "Voe are outlawed in our town for our king's disappearance, and it was neither voe nor vai. I saw it with my own eyes." The chieftess Spirit then noticed the fighters enter into the throne room without her permission, and they were instantly surrounded by her guards.
"What's the meaning of this?" Riju asked.
"We've overheard your conversation and would like to do something about it," Zero Suit Samus answered. "If you can give us some insights, perhaps we might restore your tribe to its former glory."
"And how would you do that?" the chieftess of the Gerudo Spirits questioned.
"We simply retrieve your gold and rescue Ganondorf," Sheik answered. "After all, he is our friend…" The peers and the guards gasped when they heard the Sheikah mention the King of the Black Desert is now their ally.
"Any friend of the Gerudo King is an enemy of the Gerudo Tribe!" Riju snapped.
"If you would at best listen, Ganondorf has changed," Zelda objected. "He's on our side now, and would do anything to defeat both Galeem and Dharkon. Ganondorf will help us bring balance to all our universes and bring you vai back to your real Hyrule. All we need is for your guidance." The chieftess Spirit raised her hand, alerting her guards to stand down.
"Okay," Riju sighed. "You've convinced me. Far north, at the edge of the Sacred Land, there is a labyrinth where a genderless genie thrives, holding our gold and our most prized treasure, the Thunder Helm, in its possession. Capture it in a lamp found in the maze, and I will give you the whereabouts of the Ganondorf Primary. There are dangerous traps in each turn, with the Subspace Army and the Yiga Clan also ready to strike. The labyrinth is fairly easy if you memorize the way through to the other side, but… beware of the one possessed by the Portal Master of mischief and deceit." The fighters then genuflected, ready for their new mission.
"We won't let you down, Your Highness," Popo spoke as the Smashers left the throne room. The team then met Sonic outside, who was surrounded by cuddling Gerudo guards.
"Hey, it's my turn to hold her," one Gerudo guard told the vai who was holding the disguised blue hedgehog.
"This animal's mine, and I wanna keep her and hold her forever!" the guard that was cuddling Sonic objected, pinching his furry cheeks.
"Well, the rodent's mine!" another guard snapped. "There's nothing you can do about it!"
"Ladies, please," Sonic stammered. "I'm already getting sick of being treated like some kind of doll…" The guards, driven mad by the kawaii speedster, began fighting over who wanted him more. The blue hedgehog slowly crawled towards the entrance of the palace where he met up with Mario, Link, and the rest of his pals.
"I guess looks can be deceiving," Sonic spoke as he watched the group of Gerudo guards continue fighting over who wanted the blue hedgehog more in a cloud of dust. "So what's the plan?"
"We head to the labyrinth high up north," Mario answered, checking the compass on his device. "If we hurry, the faster we can rescue Ganondorf from Dharkon." The fighters then ran out of the town, leaving the guards fighting. However, while no one was looking, the Mephiles Spirit simply walked up the stairs without moving his legs, using the catfight of Gerudo to his advantage as he simply disappeared behind the palace entrance. Just then, a Normal Novice Spirit which appeared to be the captain of the guards showed up next to the fighting warriors.
"Did I say you could leave your posts just to brawl it out over stupid girly nonsense!?" the captain asked. The Gerudo guards instantly stopped fighting, picked up their partisans, and stood upright. "You are Gerudo, the fiercest of vai and the scourge of voe foolish enough to enter the desert! You know that attacking one another can lead to serious penalties of community service."
"Yes, Tanauga," the Gerudo Spirits responded, their heads hanging low.
"Don't feel sorry and get back to your posts," Tanauga responded, walking back into the palace. "Ever since the genie stole the Thunder Helm, guard security has been a major safety. You're risking the lives of our tribe if you think you're foolish enough to fall for the stupidest of things." As soon as the captain of the guards disappeared, the Gerudo got back to their posts.
"I was so obsessed over the adorable blue rodent that I forgot who we were guarding the palace from," one guard spoke, her face red with embarrassment. "I wonder how long we were away from our posts…" The guards then looked at each other in worry. Worry that they had moved far enough for someone to enter the palace.
"Shit…" another Gerudo guard whispered underneath her breath as soon as she remembered who went past them.
