Well viewers you've asked a lot of questions! I'm leaving room for later conversations. I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger but I did leave you with questions. That makes for good story! I'm really enjoying writing this so please hang tight. I throughly enjoy your reviews!
Chapter 22
So Close
Jack is up earlier than usual. He can't sleep. The wedding is only 5 days away! He has a lot going through his mind. Jarrick, Beth, his house, the album's, the house Beth wants built, the finances, her will, PT, his job. When is his brain going to slow down? He loves her with all his heart and soul. He knows she's the one, the only one! Can he keep up? Can he make her truly happy? Is he enough? These are questions that he knows he has to discuss with her but will she be angry or will she understand his fears? He rolls onto his side and watches her sleep. She sleeps so peaceful! She's so beautiful when she sleeps! Who am I kidding, she's always beautiful! Maybe he's just having pre wedding jidders. Is he getting cold feet? He looks at the clock it's 4:30 in the morning. It's to early to wake her up. He really needs to talk to her before he drives himself crazy. He decides to get up and make some coffee and think some more. He slides into his slippers next to the bed. He goes into the kitchen and make a pot of coffee. Once it's made he pours a cup and goes out to the swing. It's a little chilly so he overs with a blanket. As he swings back and forth, back and forth he thinks how am I going to get her to see and understand all his worries? Will she leave me if I tell her? Will she think I don't want to marry her? I need her to understand I want to marry her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to have children with her. She makes me happy. So if I want all these things with her why am I so troubled? I shouldn't have all these thoughts.
Lord I asked you to give me peace about her. Lord why do I have all these questions? Lord please help me to tell her how I feel. Please don't let her walk away. Lord please don't let me lose her. I need her and Jarrick needs her. Lord please give me peace with this.
Just then the back door opened and Beth walks out and joins him. Hey Love, you can't sleep? No I just have a lot on my mind with the wedding only 5 days away that's all. Do you want to talk about it, she asked? Beth I would love to but I'm afraid. Afraid, about what she asked? Beth, I'm so afraid of losing you it hurts! Tears well up in his eyes. Love you are never going to lose me! You are the one, the only one! She wipes the tears from his eyes with her thumbs. Love, you need to talk to me. I can't fix it if I don't know. Please talk to me! He takes a swallow of his coffee.
Beth I have so many questions running through my head right now it not real. Love you know you can ask me anything. We are an open book, remember? He shakes his head yes. Well then ask, please!
Ok. This house you want built. Why so big? I thought you didn't need all that fancy stuff. Love, I don't want anything fancy. I don't need it. She chuckles. The reason I wanted so many bedrooms is because I have a feeling we're going to have a lot of children! I just don't want to have to keep adding on and knocking walls down. I want our children to want to be around us, spend time time with us. You don't have to put the 3rd floor on if you don't want to. That was just a thought for when they can't go outside after a heavy snow. I'll leave that up to you. You asked me what I wanted. I didn't want to say what ever you want because that would be a lie. We're not based on a lie Love. We are based on truth. If you only want a couple of children then I'm fine with that. Then you only build a 3 bedroom house. After I have them then I'll have my tubes tied. I don't want my dreams to make you uncomfortable. I want us to be happy. Does that answer that question? Yeah I guess I just didn't understand. I mean I get that you want to show our children the love you didn't have. To see William with Jarrick you would think he treated you the same way. I see him with you now and it's not the same. I want our children to know and feel our love. I want to go to all their activities no matter what. I don't want to give them excuses why I can't make it. It still hurts that my nanny made to more of my activities than both my parents put together! I get it Beth I do. The house will go as your dreams.
My next question is your will. Why do you feel the need for a will? Love, I've seen first hand what money does to a family without a will. People come out of the wood work and take what doesn't belong to them. If there is no will the everything goes into probate for 6 months and anyone can show up because they are family and take what we earned. Why didn't the attorney tell us that? Because if you had read any of my portfolio you would've seen where I already knew it. So does that portfolio tell everything you know? All the legal stuff yes. So are we good with that question? Yeah I guess so.
Now about your finances. Why did you get upset at the attorney about the prenuptial agreement? Jack this is not up for discussion! You should've been hot when he mentioned it. I wasn't Beth. It shocked me because I never even thought about it. But the amount of money you are bringing in to this marriage is a very substantial amount. I mean I've never seen that much money on paper or otherwise. I guess I don't understand how you can just turn it over to me like it's nothing. Love, it's only money. I've earned all except part of the money in the biggest account. If it's gone tomorrow then I'll build it up again. Love, I want to share my wealth. If we spend every dime I have I'm ok with that. I'm not afraid of losing it like my father. He sets a certain amount into his house hold account and that's it. The rest gets invested or sits and draws interest. I'm watching that money like a hawk. I live off the interest that put into my personal account every month. If I spend it so be it. But I don't. I live off of what I need. We are going to be one in 5 days. That means money to. There isn't you'd, mine and ours. It's all ours. Do you understand? Yeah I do.
The albums. Why didn't you put those in Jarrick's room? Love, he doesn't even know his mother. I know you said you've told him about her and he asked about her right after I moved here. But Love, he needs to see what she looks like and see the love you had for her. Do you think it bothers me that you were married before me? Are you not over her yet? Is that why you don't want him to have the albums? Jack be honest with me. Beth it's been 5 years since she past. I see her every day of my life when I look at him. Yeah it makes me sad because he'll never see his mother. He's only felt her and heard her heart beat one time because I laid him on her bare chest. I wrapped her arms around him before I had them take him back to the nursery. I've never told anyone that. Beth it breaks my heart that God took her to soon. Beth I love you beyond all but I'm not ready for all his questions about her. Ok Love I'll take the box and put it up in his closet so he can't reach it. And when your ready you can bring them down and show him and tell him all about her. Just be prepared that in the future and I don't know when that will be, he's going to ask what she looks like. Are you ready for that if he asks tomorrow because he just might. I won't say anything to him but I want you to think about it, ok? Yeah I will.
Beth I'm afraid that I'm not getting stronger fast enough? I'm afraid of losing my job. What's going to happen if I do? Remember what the doctor said? It's going to be a long road back. It's going to take a while. Look how long it took for you to be able to climb the steps. It took almost 3 weeks. You are getting stronger every day. You can stand in the kitchen and cook a whole meal. You couldn't do that last month. The soreness is almost gone after PT. So you're getting there. But Jack it doesn't matter to me if you have a job or not. If you never go back to work it's ok. You can make that 250 acres work. If I'm being honest I would prefer you work the ranch instead of working at the station! But Beth I love helping people. I know and I will back you in what ever you decide to do. That's your choice not mine. I support you because you'll be my husband and I love you with all my being! Are we good with this? Do you have any more doubts about it? No I'll cross that bridge if and when it comes.
Beth the other question I have is, are you going to wake up one day and decide this isn't what you sign up for? Is taking care of Jarrick and me going to be more than you want? Am I enough? Am I good enough for you? Jack Thornton you listen to me. I knew you had a son when I looked at your card you gave me. If I didn't want him I wouldn't have gone out with you. I love you both so much it hurts. If I didn't think you were worthy I wouldn't have stayed at the hospital with you and sung to you. I would not have waisted my time. But I truly believe that God brought us together and in 5 days it will be let no man take apart! Jack you fulfill me! You and that little man in there makes me whole! Do you believe me? Yes I guess I just needed a bit of reassurance. Love are you getting cold feet? No I know I want you as my wife but you had started to make decisions without me and I just got a little scared. Love any time I step over the line just say something. Don't be afraid of the outcome. I'm not going anywhere but down that isle to you! Got it? Got it!
Beth I'm scared to sell my house. I afraid I'm going to regret it. Love if you don't want to sell it don't. We could see if Tommy wants to live there until you decide what you want to do with it. What do you think about doing that? I could ask him. Maybe you should call Vicki and take it off the market for a while. I will. It's almost 7:00. So maybe you could shoot her a text first and then call her. That sounds like a good idea, thanks Beth. I don't know why I was so afraid of talking to you about all this but I was afraid you wouldn't understand why I was feeling what I was feeling. Love, we are better together! We can get through anything as long as we are together!
Jarrick asked while he was eating his breakfast, daddy can we put my train set back together today? Sure bud, you and me all day! How's that sound? Good to me! After breakfast Jack kisses Beth on the cheek and said, we're off to the man cave! They carried all the parts to the train out to the new shed. Then Jack got Beth to help with the board. They set it up on sender blocks. Jarrick says, ok mommy it guy time! She laughs and kisses them both on the head and walks out then turns around and asks, hey Love, do you think I could go to the land and start figuring where everything will go? He replies, well I was kinda hoping we could do that together! She kisses him on the lips and says, I was hoping you would say that! He says, why you and she cut him off with another kiss then leaves!
Jarrick helps lay the track. They make different designs and shapes until they settle on a crooked design. Then Jarrick places the mountain. Jack takes the track apart to run it up and over it. Then Jarrick places the tunnel over the track. Then he placed the crossing, the track turnout station. Jack pulled the track apart to add the turnout to the track. Jarrick thinks where he wants to put the buildings, people, and houses. By the time they got all that done it was time for lunch.
Beth texts Jack to tell him lunch was ready. She fixed grilled cheese sandwiches, Jarrick's favorite. They come in and head to the bathrooms to wash up. Beth sets the table and sets the sandwiches on the table. She poured milk for all of them. They sit down and Jarrick asked, can I say the blessing at lunchtime? Beth looks at Jack and nods. Bud if you want to say grace then that's ok with us. Do you remember how? Yes sir! Ok then, go ahead!
God is good. God is great.
Let us thank Him for our food.
By our hands we are fed.
Thank you Lord for our daily bread.
Amen.
That was good bud. Good job! From now on it will be up to you to ask the blessing over our lunch! Jarrick says, thank you daddy!
After lunch they went back out to the shed to finish putting the train together. Jack started placing the train cars on. Jarrick handed the engine to him first. Then started handing them to him randomly. Jarrick handed him the caboose last. They left a boxcar on the turnout. Jarrick finished with placing all the trees around in different places around the track and on the mountain. Jack asked, is that where you want everything? He says, yes sir! Then Jack attaches the power to the track. Jarrick was the happiest little boy there was. He asked, can I turn it on now? Jack told him go ahead bud. Jarrick hands him his engineer hat and put his on. Jarrick says, now I can turn it on! They played for a couple of hours then jack says, it's time to go spend time with mommy don't you think? Jarrick says, yes sir so she won't be lonely! They turn the train off and cover it up. Jack shuts the lights off and they go in the house. Jarrick asks, what are you doing mommy? I'm baking cookies! Want to help? Yes ma'am! Ok but no eating the dough like last time! They all laugh and Jack says, that's no fun! Beth hand the cookie dough dipper to Jarrick. He drops the dough on the cookie sheet. Beth puts them in the oven. Jack takes them off the cookie sheet and places them on the cooling rack. Beth says, we got it going on now. By the time Jarrick dropped the dough on the cookie sheet, it was time to take the last pan out of the oven and it was Jack's turn. It kept going until all the dough was baked. They had 6 dozen chocolate chip cookies. After they cooled Beth put half in the cookie jar and the other half in the freezer. They cleaned up the kitchen and went in to watch a movie. Beth chose "Lady and the Tramp"
