Blaine inhaled deeply, smiling sleepily at the familiar sandalwood scent surrounding him. He felt a tightness around his chest that wasn't unpleasant but rather comforting and reassuring. He snuggled further into it pausing when he felt something solid behind him. His eyes shot open and he gazed around the vaguely familiar room as his brain started to catch up. Turning his head a little he saw the pale face of his ex-fiancé resting just inches away from his own. Careful not to wake Kurt, Blaine managed to turn in the strong arms until he was facing his friend. He studied Kurt's sleeping face, the smoothness of his brow, his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks, the slight stubble on his jawline. Blaine carefully rested his hand on Kurt's waist, smiling again as he felt Kurt's grip around him tighten and press him closer.

Blaine's gaze darted back up to the face he'd missed, dreamed about even. He thought back to how often Kurt used to try and convince Blaine to adopt his moisturising routine and wished he had as there was not a single line out of place across Kurt's face.

"You do realise that staring at people whilst they sleep is creepy right?" Kurt's voice was husky with sleep but playful in its tone as a smirk played across his lips.

"I had to be sure I wasn't dreaming." Came Blaine smooth reply as Kurt hugged him closer. Blaine allowed himself to be held, god he'd missed being held. He knew Kurt would pull away once he'd woken up a little more so he'd take all he could get right now. But Kurt didn't pull away. He instead began to run a finger between Blaine's shoulders just like he'd done since they'd first shared a bed. It was just a touch but to them it was intimate and a reminder of previous times they'd laid together like this. Blaine held his breath as he moved his head and looked back up at Kurt.

"Hey you"

"Hey"

"How'd you sleep?"

"Ok I guess…um…really….really good actually. I haven't slept more than an hour at a time since…." Blaine's voice trailed off as the horrible truth of his situation came rushing back to him.

"Me too, the good sleep I mean. You always were the best at snuggling." Kurt smiled, kissing Blaine's forehead and then rolling onto his back pulling Blaine with him. Blaine allowed himself to be move and his hand came to rest on Kurt's bare chest.

"You're always just the right temperature. Never too hot, never too cold. You're just right." Blaine looked up and smiled softly.

"I can't decide whether you're being your usual cute self or if you just compare me to a bowl of porridge!" Kurt raised an eyebrow questioningly, a slight smile across his mouth.

"Can it be both?"

"Did you just ask to eat me Mr Anderson?!" Kurt pretended to look scandalised then jolted quickly and rolled Blaine onto his back underneath him, tickling him in just the right places.

"No! I didn't…stop…that's…you're cheating!" Blaine laughed loudly as he fell to Kurt's mercy, "I fold! I fold!" Kurt managed to grab hold of Blaine's wrists, pinning them to the bed as they both caught their breath. Both men held the gaze of the other, neither wanting to be the first to look away. They could both feel the static in the air between them.

Kurt leaned down and pressed his lips against Blaine's softly. As Blaine's fists clenched and released from their pinned positions, Kurt inhaled deeply and released them. His own hands tugging Blaine into his arms as Blaine's warm hands wrapped themselves around Kurt's body, both of them trying to get as close to the other as possible. The initial urgency faded into tenderness as the pent up frantic need eased flawlessly into the gentle love they'd both treasured and missed.

Blaine had no idea how long they stayed like that for, just sharing lazy kisses safe in the bubble of Kurt's bed. It wasn't until Kurt's pressed against him that Blaine felt the telltale sign of his arousal and pulled back.

"We shouldn't….I don't want to get you sick too…I shouldn't be…" Blaine tried to move out from underneath his former lover but the strong arms held him in place. Blaine blushed and looked up at those blue eyes.

"Blaine, don't be scared. I wouldn't be kissing you if I didn't think it wasn't safe to do so." Kurt gently brushed a stray curl away from Blaine's brow. "Do you really want me to stop kissing you?" He asked softly. Blaine shook his head a little as Kurt smiled kindly. "Good, cos I don't wanna stop kissing you either."

As their lips met again, Blaine allowed his eyes to flutter closed giving himself over to the tingling that flowed from his lips to the rest of his body. As Kurt's lips moved along his jaw and down his neck, he could feel the heat between his legs rising and knew he had to be forceful.

"Kurt….I can't…we need to stop." Blaine rested his palms against the fine chest above him, half-expecting it's owner to huff and fall away into his back. But instead he felt a kiss being placed on his forehead and he was pulled gently into an embrace.

"I'm sorry, I always forget myself when I'm kissing you. There's nothing else like it, it makes my brain stop working! I'm sorry if it felt I was pressuring you into something." Kurt kissed Blaine's temple and ran his fingers across the younger man's shoulder.

"No, you weren't, I just…..we haven't really discussed things and I don't know what we are and I'm now…. And you're just….and I don't want to….cos it's not safe….but I want to….oh god." Blaine buried his face against Kurt's chest. He could feel the laughter moving Kurt's body but it didn't feel mocking.

"I love it when you ramble. Okay look…." Kurt managed to convince his arms to release Blaine and they both sat up leaning against the headboard. "I've been trying to build up the courage to call you for months. I miss you so much and I wanted to see if you maybe wanted to meet up for drinks or coffee or dinner but then work got away from me a bit. I was actually going to call you this weekend - I even made my assistant mark it on my calendar so I didn't forget. When you called me it was like….it was like my entire body was screaming out for you. I know you're going through something huge right now so I'm not going to ask you for anything or try to convince you to do something you're not able to deal with right now. But please know that I love you and I'll always be here for you in whatever way you want me. My priority right now is your safety and happiness." Kurt tried to explain himself but wasn't sure whether his words were right.

"Kurt, it's no secret that you're the love of my life and if I'm being as honest as you are….there's barely been a week since we broke up that I haven't dreamed about you calling me or surprising me at school or at home or just bumping into each other in the street and both of us realising that we were supposed to be together." Blaine clasped Kurt's hand in his. "I can't promise you anything right now. I don't even know how to do that anymore. There's too much I don't know right now - including whether it's safe for you to be with me like this or any other way. Kurt, it would kill me if I caused any harm to you. I think….I think we need to take things extra slow, at least until we speak to my doctor and get some proper answers. There's too much I don't know right now. The only thing I do know is that I love you too. I have since I was 15 and I will until the end of time."

"I understand, I really do and I meant what I said last night. I'm here for you and I'm helping you through this as much as I can. I'll follow your lead. I want to be with you again, I want to be yours but I'll wait until you're ready to be mine." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and lifted it to his lips to press a soft kiss to the knuckles.

"Oh Kurt, you adorable idiot. I've always been yours."

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

"Stop fidgeting"

"I'm not."

"You are! Just….Blaine seriously!" Kurt pressed his hand onto Blaine's left knee which hasn't stopped bouncing since they'd sat down.

Blaine & Kurt were in the waiting room or Dr Feldman's office. After a slightly awkward phone call where Blaine managed to forget his middle name and the year he was born, Kurt took the phone and managed to register Blaine and get him a cancellation for the same day. 2 hours later they were waiting to be called and again Blaine's nerves were trying to best him.

"Ok, look, I get that your nervous or scared or worried or all of the above but we won't know anything until we go in there. So take a few deep breaths and try to focus." Kurt took Blaine's hand and squeezed it, trying to use the pressure to help calm Blaines nerves and keep his own in check. "I'm here for you, if you need me to answer things I know in your behalf just squeeze my hand but anything specific relating to your diagnosis you're gonna have to take those ones, but remember he's here to help you. There's no judgement Blaine, no penalties. We all want to help you through this."

Blaine managed a couple of shudders breaths as he used his free hand to cover Kurt's and nodded.

"I can do this." Blaine sat up a little straighter in his seat and took another calming breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. "I can do this."

Kurt looked around the otherwise empty waiting area. Aside from a few old magazines in the table in the centre of the room the only decorations were a few large framed posters in the white walls. Kurt spent a few seconds looking at each one and decided the beach scene was his favourite, the woodland once made him feel cold and not at all reassured that this was a safe space. He could hear the receptionist on the phone call through the glass privacy screen and her voice reminded him of his old French teacher from high school. Kind but firm.

He looked over at Blaine who was still whispering to himself, his eyes closed and hands clasped around one of Kurt's. He racked his brain for something helpful to say but he drew a blank. It wasn't often Kurt Hummel was speechless. He settled for sending Blaine a kind smile and squeezing his hand.

"Blaine Anderson?" A young looking blonde man poked his head out and smiled when he saw Blaine. "Hi Blaine, I'm Dr Feldman. We met at the clinic last week?" He opened the door wider and held his hand out to shake Blaines before turning to Kurt.

"Kurt Hummel. I'm Blaine's…..Um….I'm Blaine's" Kurt shrugged a little and shook the doctors hand, not missing the way Blaine's shoulders seemed to relax a little more.

"Come on in and take a seat guys and let's get started." Dr Feldman closed the door and sat behind his desk. The file open in front of him had Blaine's name and had an orange label. Blaine wondered if that meant anything particular. He kinda wished it had been purple, he felt like a purple person today. Although come to think of it, what would a purple person feel like?

"BLAINE!" Kurt's slightly raised voice jolted him back to reality.

"Sorry, lost in my thoughts. What's going on?" Kurt rolled his eyes fondly as the blonde doctor tried to hide a smile.

"It's okay, I was just telling you that your viral load isn't high enough to cause you any terrible symptoms at the moment but it is important that we start you on a regimen of antiretrovirals as soon as possible. According to your medical records there's been no significant health concerns aside from some injuries about 5 or 6 years ago which is good. So, as you'll know there's no cure for HIV at the moment but the medications we do have have proven to be excellent at managing the condition. It's essential that you take your meds on time and regularly. Even one missed dose can affect your viral load which we eventually want to become undetectable."

"If it's becomes undetectable won't that mean he's cured?" Kurt asked.

"Sadly not but it does mean that Blaine has less chance of suffering any symptoms and research has found that there's a near zero chance of the virus being passed through sexual contact. Are you currently sexually actively Blaine?"

"Oh, um, no me and Kurt aren't exactly dating at the moment, I mean I wish we were but we're not but we did sort of make out this morning but we didn't have sex or anything and like we would have used condoms or something and….and that's not what you meant is it?" Blaine noticed Kurt trying to hide a giggle.

"Not exactly but that does answer my next question!" Dr Feldman answered with a smile as Blaine's faced reddened. "Don't worry Blaine, I'm not trying to trip you up and trick you into admitting a secret here although judging by your friends face you've done that." Blaine turned to look at Kurt who was still bordering on a laugh but also looking at him with love in his eyes. Blaine blushed again.

"Okay, so in relation to what you've just said - yes, I'd definitely encourage the use of condoms if you happen to engage in a sex act with anyone other than yourself. Kissing, well we'd accept that as a low risk activity but if you notice your gums bleeding when your brush your teeth or if you have any open sores in your mouth you need to be mindful of the increased risk of transmission. Whilst we're on the subject of Kurt, can I ask if you've discussed PrEP with each other?" Kurt opened his mouth to respond but Blaine's nerves got there first.

"Oh we always take time for prep, we never wanted to hurt each other but I guess now maybe rimming wouldn't be a good idea but we were always careful before and…I got it wrong again didn't I?" Kurt's face was bright red from holding in his laughter as Blaine dropped his head into his hands.

"Why don't I give you two a few minutes to gather yourselves." Dr Feldman smiled kindly at the nervous patient. He quietly left Kurt and Blaine alone.

"I'm such an idiot" Blaine groaned just as Kurt burst out laughing. "Hey!"

"I'm sorry B I really am! I'm not laughing AT you I promise! I can't believe you told him we nearly fooled around this morning and then told him we'd need to finger each other open from now" Kurt laughed even harder as a tear ran down his face. A smiled tugged at Blaines mouth and it didn't take much more for him to start laughing too.

"I can't believe I said that!"

"Oh my god this is the best doctors visit ev-" Kurt was silenced by Blaine kissing him and it didn't take long for Kurt to compose himself and return the kiss.

When Dr Feldman returned to his office after 5 minutes he found the two men facing each, foreheads touching as they smiled at each other.

"Are we okay to continue or do you guys need another minute?"

"We're good Dr Feldman, thanks. So, you mentioned the Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis?" Kurt asked, smirking as Blaine whispered Thats what that means?! beside him.

"Yes I did. Now, if you two did want to participate in any sexual interaction I'd encourage Kurt to take PrEP. It's a regular medication that helps to block the virus from his bloodstream. It can take 6 months to get Blaine viral load to a level where we'd deem him to be undetectable and obviously we'd still encourage condom use but it does substantially reduce the risk of transmission if you didn't use any protection or if it failed."

Blaine looked down at where his fingers were intertwined with Kurt's and swallowed.

"Kurt, are you sure you want to do this? You don't need to, I won't get mad at you if you don't."

"Hey, I told you - we're in this together. Besides, once we both come to our senses and realise we want to be boyfriends again we'll be in the best possible place if we want to do anything." Kurt winked and grinned when Blaine laughed.

"Subtle Hummel!" Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand gently. "Okay, so Doc, what do we need to do to get things started?"

The next hour was filled with blood tests from both Blaine and Kurt, medical and sexual history discussions as well as more detailed information about their new medication. Luckily Dr Feldman had plenty of pamphlets and printed webpages of information they could take away and read through at their leisure. When they finally left the office Blaine looked surprisingly relaxed.

"Everything okay over there?" Kurt asked, sliding the strap of his messenger back onto his shoulder, watching the back of his friends head for any indications of his mood.

"Actually….yeah. I dunno but it seems a lot less bleak than it did this morning. I could actually still….have a life." Blaine turned around and to Kurt's surprise he was grinning.

"Who said you couldn't?"

"Everyone, no-one, I don't know. When I got my results I thought 'well that's that then, no more college, no work, no love, no life' but that's so far from reality. I can stay in college, I will be able to work, I'll be able to love and be loved. Kurt….I just….."

"I get it." Kurt smiled and slid his arms around the shorter man's waist. "Like the clouds have been blown away and the sunshine is back." Blaine nodded.

"If a few pills a day are the price to pay them I'll happily pay it. It's like a giant weight has been taken off my shoulders." Blaine gestured with his hands before resting them on Kurt's chest. "Thank you."

"What did I do?"

"You answered the phone." Blaine shrugged as if that explained everything and to Kurt, it kinda did.

The two men hugged each other tightly, allowing themselves to pretend for just a minute that they were more than just friends before pulling away. As they turned to begin the walk back to the subway station, Kurt looped his arm through Blaine's.

"I don't know about you but I need a coffee!" Kurt sighed dramatically with a grin.

"Oh, there's a place about 2 blocks from here that does a really great mocha."

"You remember my coffee order?"

"Of course I do."

A/N - ok, so I've been doing some research on HIV treatments etc but as mentioned in earlier chapters it shouldn't be taken as actual advice! Remember this is fiction after all so there will be some artistic licence here and there!! I'll do my best to stick to facts so if there's anything that doesn't sound quite right drop me a PM - education is a wonderful thing! Please remember to be safe!

Oh, and please review if you can spare a minute!