Kurt woke with his arms wrapped around Blaine and his nose buried in his dark curly hair. Inhaling deeply, Kurt smiled at the woody scent of his shampoo which mixed with something that was undeniably Blaine. Carefully extracting himself, Kurt smiled as Blaine snuffled in his sleep and continued to snore softly before quietly making his way through to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and thought back on the events of the night before.
He didn't realise his hands were shaking until he tried to lift the glass for another sip. Kurt let out a shuddery breath he hadn't known he'd been holding as he realised what he could have just opened them both up to. Yeah it was amazing but body fluids - c'mon Hummel, you're smarter than that! Kurt silently reprimanded himself for allowing his lust for Blaine to take over then reprimanded himself again for thinking so negatively about the man he'd loved since he was 16.
Kurt leant against the kitchen counter, hands gripping the edge as he tried to get his thoughts and heart rate under control. Think rationally - you didn't touch any fluids, his cheek and lip are healed, the condoms didn't break, both of us have been compliant with our meds. It was as safe as it's gonna get. Kurt tried to rein his thoughts in, knowing he was over-reacting and feeling guilty about that but also knowing that he had to let himself feel the worries. Maybe he should make an appointment with the therapist Blaine's doctor had recommended. Speaking to someone more knowledgeable than Google would definitely be helpful.
He was just about to stand up straight when a pair of olive skinned arms slid around his waist from behind and a pair of soft lips kissed his shoulder.
"Hey you."
"Hey, I hope I didn't wake you?" Kurt allowed himself a moment to enjoy the closeness and leant his head back against Blaine's shoulder covering the hands around his waist with his own.
"Not at all. I had to pee and noticed you weren't there. Everything okay?" Blaine squeezed Kurt a little before releasing him and fetching a fresh glass to fill with orange juice.
"Yeah, just a few things on my mind. Listen, about last night….."
"Um, yeah, Kurt, that was amazing and you've no idea just how good it felt but…"
"…but…?"
"But…I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't want you to think I'm expecting sex and stuff from you now either cos I'm not. I just…I don't know." Blaine sighed taking a small sip of his juice as Kurt moved to stand in front of him and draped his arms around his neck.
"I get it, believe me, I get it. I don't regret what we did…"
"Me neither by the way!" Blaine interjected.
"…but I don't think we should make it a regular thing and I don't think we should be labelling ourselves as anything either. Oh god, I feel like I seduced you and am now kicking you out my bed to do the walk of shame." Kurt dropped his head against Blaine's chest dramatically as the younger man chuckled softly and cupped the back of the brunette's head.
"I live here so at least it's a short walk!" Blaine joked. "Look, we're both adults, we both consented so let's just leave it at that. We both enjoyed it and are mature enough to know it doesn't have to mean there's strings attached now. We both know what our own and each others feelings are so there's no seducing and no shame." Blaine kissed Kurt's temple before hugging him tightly.
"It's still sort of early. Do you wanna find somewhere open for breakfast or go back to bed and snuggle and nap some more?" Kurt looked into the hazel pools he loved to get lost in.
"I'll never say no to some snuggles." Blaine grinned as Kurt moved the now empty glasses to the sink for washing later.
"Come on then snuggle bunny." Kurt linked his fingers with Blaine's and tugged him back to bed as they wrapped themselves up in each other and prepared to drift off into a comfortable slumber when Kurt's whisper broke the silence.
"Didn't you get up to pee?"
"Fuck!"
… … … … … … … … … … … … … …
Blaine stayed home from school on Tuesday to make sure someone was there to sign for the furniture. Along with his new bed, Kurt had insisted that they needed a new couch and the space in their new apartment lent itself perfectly to an amazingly comfortable L shaped formation. As Blaine slotted the final section in place, he tossed the cushions and throw pillows randomly knowing that Kurt would have a specific layout in mind for them when he got home from class. He set about making his new bed up and fitting the new sheets and covers. Now exhausted from the hours of furniture and couch building he flopped back onto his bed and revelled in the comfort of his new memory foam mattress. It had taken a fair amount of the available balance on his new credit card but as it supported his back and enveloped him it was completely worth it.
That's where Kurt found him upon his arrival home just before 5pm. Dropping his bag, jacket and keys on the new dining table, he went searching for his now official room-mate. When he found the dark haired man fast asleep on his new bed, Kurt couldn't help but lean against the door frame and admire the body starfished in front of him. The strong forearms that were due to a mix of years of musical training as well as boxing, the powerful thighs a result of the running Blaine had taken up in high school. Kurt knew Blaine had been using the residents gym and god was he grateful for that!
Since their night of intimacy, they'd both been a little easier with their touches - a lingering fingertip here, a press against the back whilst reaching for something there - but they'd both equally been a little more relaxed around each other. It had only been 3 days but Kurt was happy with the balance they had - nothing felt precarious or awkward and he felt reassured by that.
"Hey you" Blaine stirred, his voice filled with sleep. "How was school?"
"Hey, it was good. Paul and Jake were whispering and glancing at me so much during auditions that Madame Tibideaux kicked them out for disrespecting the other performers so now they're not allowed to audition for the applicant showcase." Kurt grinned, "it was quite funny to see Paul's jaw hit something other than his own ego or someone else's thigh!"
"Oh I forgot about your audition! I thought it was Thursday. How did it go?" Blaine sat up and crossed his legs beneath him, patting the bed for Kurt to join him which he did eagerly.
"It was amazing! So I was still torn between Bring Him Home and Being Alive-"
"Both of which you are amazing at" Blaine interrupted
"But once I got there I knew exactly what I should be singing. It was like this light just flicked on in my head!"
"Are you gonna make me guess or just tell me?"
"I Wanna Hold Your Hand." Kurt stated matter-of-factly.
"You can always hold my hand Kurt." Proving his point, Blaine took one of Kurt's hands in his own and tangled their fingers.
"Cheesy and cute but I meant the song you dork!" Kurt chuckled.
"The Beatles song? Wait, didn't you say you sang that in glee - before my time. Damn I wish I could have seen that!"
"Well, your wish is my command sire because not only was I selected to perform at the showcase but Tibideaux herself said I have to sing that song and I get to choose two other songs to perform!" Kurt could barely contain his excitement as he watched Blaine's grin get bigger.
"Kurt that's amazing!" Blaine moved to hug him but Kurt held his hand up.
"There's more…..she pulled me aside at the end and told me that when all of the professors were asked to recommend a student to lead the campus tours, every single one of them recommended me! I'll be showing the applicants for next semester around answering questions about the different degrees on offer and I get to choose up to two other students to help me if I need it!"
"Kurt that's incredible!" Blaine leant forward again but again Kurt's hand was raised.
"That's not all - the faculty heads have been working on new ways to publicise the school to encourage future students to apply and in addition to the evening classes and entry prep courses they've decided to create an album and a revamped digital prospectus that can be downloaded or sent to high schools across the country to highlight the school's different curricular areas. They want me to record a song to represent the vocal department!" Kurt paused, waiting for Blaine's reaction. "Okay you can hug me now, I'm done!" He laughed as he was knocked off balance by the force of Blaine hug.
"You are amazing! I can't believe it, well I can because I always knew you were destined for greatness but now it's like everyone else can see it too and it's just "where have you been, have you not met Kurt Hummel?!" And this is so amazing and-"
"Blaine?"
"Yeah?"
"You're rambling!"
Both men dissolved into giggles as Blaine hugged Kurt tightly.
"I'm so proud of you Kurt. You deserve all of this and more." Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek and hugged him again before pulling away and jumping to his feet. "We need to celebrate! We should go out for dinner, get all dressed up and really celebrate!"
"Can we do that at the weekend?" Kurt whined, "I have an essay due Friday and I still have to finalise the photos for the xmas part trends for Isabel." He pouted cutely trying to mimic Blaine's puppy dog look.
"Of course, that'll give me time to find a really good restaurant! Pizza and beer tonight then? We can watch friends in our pyjamas and you can arrange the new cushions?" Blaine suggested.
"What makes you think the way you've placed them isn't already perfect?"
"Because I know you and I know you've already got an exact layout planned in your mind." He grinned.
"Okay yeah you got me!" Kurt admitted, bouncing to the edge of the bed to stand up. "Go order the pizza while I get changed and I'll get the beer and fix the cushions while you get changed and then we can meet back in the living room?"
"Sounds good to me!"
They both hurried through their agreed tasks and before long they were sitting on the balcony using their new table and chairs and enjoying the sunset over the city. Conversation flowed easily until the beers and pizza were finished and the stars were twinkling above.
"What's on your mind B?" Kurt asked, noticing the sudden long stretches of silence between them.
"I wanna say something but I don't want to upset you." Blaine picked at his bottle label avoiding Kurt's questioning gaze.
"You can tell me anything, you know that." Kurt reached over and squeezed Blaine's shoulder.
"I was just, kinda, sort of hoping that, maybe, if you didn't mind, that maybe I could…" Blaine's voice trailed off as Kurt stood and moved in front of him, kneeling down between his knees.
"Blaine, talk to me. Your feelings are valid, even if they hurt mine. You don't need to hide anything from me, especially if it's important to you. Do you….do you not want to live here anymore?" Kurt asked, dreading the answer.
"What? No! I love living with you - I just wanted to sleep in my new bed tonight!" Blaine blurted out.
"Oh my god is that all?! We really need to work on your conversation skills!" Kurt relaxed and laughed, leaning in to hug his silly friend. "Your face was so serious! Of course I wouldn't be upset about that! That's literally one of the reasons we moved here remember?"
"I know, I just didn't want you to feel like I was only snuggling with you cos I didn't have anywhere else to sleep."
"Blaine, you could sleep on the balcony in the rain and I wouldn't mind. I'd maybe throw you a sweater or something but where you sleep and who you sleep there with is completely up to you. Yes I love snuggling with you and I know you like it just as much but I would never be mad at you or upset with you if you wanted to be alone or with someone else." Kurt ignored the way his stomach twisted at his last remark. "But I do have one stipulation…."
"What's that?"
"You let me try out your bed cos it looks super comfortable!"
"Deal!" They both laughed and hugged each other before tidying up their boxes and bottles and heading to their own bathrooms to get ready for bed.
Blaine was rinsing his mouth of toothpaste when he heard a curious sound coming from his bedroom. Peeking his head out he saw Kurt starfished on his bed moaning loudly.
"Enjoying yourself there Hummel?" He smirked, wiping the last of the toothpaste from his mouth.
"This mattress is divine! I've decided I now live here - just on this mattress." Kurt declared.
"I think your school and employer may have some comments about that." Blaine laughed, joining Kurt on the bed. "It is really comfortable though. Um, you can sleep here tonight if you want to?" Blaine suggested, reaching his hand out to brush the tips of Kurt's fingers.
"I want to but I think we should sleep apart, for tonight at least. You were looking forward to having your own bed again and I think you need that. But you know where I am if you need me for anything." Kurt moved his hand a little until their fingers were intertwined. Biting his lip, he glanced over at Blaine who was looking back at him.
Blaine tugged on Kurt's hand and they both moved towards each other, their lips meeting and gliding over the other set easily. They both pulled apart at the same time and rested their foreheads together.
"You still take my breath away." Kurt whispered as Blaine smiled.
"Glad to hear it." He whispered in return before patting Kurt's hip. "Bedtime sleepy man, you've already admitted you've got a lot of work to do this week so you need to be well-rested."
"Always the sensible one!" Kurt groaned dramatically as he got up from the bed and headed to the door. "Goodnight B."
"Goodnight Kurt."
Laying in their separate beds, both men stared at their ceilings wondering if they should just join the other but they both knew they needed to have some time alone. They'd crowded each other unintentionally before and neither wanted to be the one to do that again. They both eventually gave into the sleep that was calling them and hugged their extra pillow tightly.
