Kiss 17: Baking

I do not own red hood and the outlaws.

Summary: Bizarro wants to bake a cake for Jason and Artemis but he has no idea of how to do that so he calls Sasha for help and she calls Tim for some reason. They should have called Stephanie instead and made waffles.


It all started when Bizarro decided he wanted to bake a cake for Jason and Artemis. He knew they both loved cake and he wanted to surprise them because they do so much for him. Today was the perfect opportunity because Jason and Artemis were out on a date and wouldn't return until just before dinner. There was only one problem. Bizarro doesn't know how to bake a cake so he asked Sasha for help. But she almost never cooks or bakes so she called Tim because she heard he is smart. So he must know how to bake a cake. That is how Tim, Sasha and Bizarro find themselves in the kitchen of Jason's and Artemis's apartment with a lot of stuff they just bought from the supermarket to bake.

''Why am I here again?'' Tim asks.

Sasha rolls her eyes. ''Because we needed you to pay for all the stuff since you are rich.''

''You not want spend time with us, red red?'' Bizarro asks sounding hurt.

''No that isn't it.'' Tim reassures Bizarro. Jason would kill him if he made Bizarro sad. ''I am just wondering why you guys asked me for help and not someone else?'' Like Alfred for instance.

''Because the three of us haven't spend that much time together so this will be our bonding moment.'' Sasha announces. ''Now who has made a cake before?'' Bizarro shakes his head and Tim says no.

''I can look up a recipe on the internet?'' Tim proposes.

''That sound like a good idea.'' Sasha nods.

''All right let me see.'' Tim mutters as he looks on his phone. ''First we need to preheat the oven and gather the ingredients. We need to cream the butter and sugar.''

Bizarro takes a bowl and sugar from one of the kitchens cabinets and Sasha takes the butter from the fridge. Bizarro throws the sugar in the bowl.

Sasha eyes the butter in her hand. ''Do I just throw it in the bowl?''

''I remember red him cut it in little pieces.'' Bizarro notes.

''Okay.'' Sasha says as she takes a knife and tries to cut the butter in little pieces but her knife gets stuck in it and no matter how much force she uses she cannot cut it.

''Ugh.'' She groans. ''The butter is too hard. ''

''We must soften it first.'' Tim says.

''I use heat vision?'' Bizarro asks.

''I don't think that is such a good idea.''

''Well why don't you just cut the butter?'' Sasha gives the knife to Bizarro. Bizarro is strong enough and they put the small pieces of butter in the bowl.

''Now we need to put the eggs and the vanilla in it.'' Tim reads aloud.

Sasha takes out an egg and hits it on the bowl until there is a crack in the shell. She them puts some force on it until it breaks and she puts the egg in the bowl only a few parts of the eggshell also fall in it.

''Sh*t.'' She curses. She tries to get them out of the bowl with a spoon but she can't get them.

''Maybe use your hands?'' Tim offers. It works.

''Now we need to stir in the cake flour.'' Tim reads. Bizarro takes out the mixer but when they set it on the flour goes everywhere because of the mixer. It swings the light flour out of the bowl onto the whole kitchen counter and their clothing.

''Sh*t.'' Tim and Sasha both say. Sasha then looks at Bizarro.

''Don't tell Jason we cursed okay? It will be our little secret. You can keep a secret right Bizz?'' Sasha asks him. Bizarro nods. ''Me keep secret.''

''Maybe we should first stir it with a spoon so that everything is a little bit more mixed and it won't be easily flung out of the bowl by the mixer. '' Sasha proposes and Bizarro takes a spoon and stirs the flour, eggs, vanilla and sugar together. They then continue to mix it even further with a mixer.

''How long are we supposed to mix it?'' Sasha asks.

''Until it is light, fluffy and creamy.'' Tim responds.

''Great does is also say what light, fluffy and creamy looks like?'' Sasha sounds annoyed.

''I think it should be good enough now. We have been mixing it for a while now.'' Tim replies.

Bizarro takes the bowl and pours the batter into the baking pan. He fills the pan until the batter reached the edges of the pan. They then put it in the oven. When they check on the cake an hour and fifteen minutes later the batter has overflown and is everywhere.

''What?'' Sasha exclaims.

''We must have done something wrong.'' Tim says.

''What we do now?'' Bizarro asks.

''We try again.'' Sasha walks towards the fridge and pulls out some more butter and eggs. ''Me and Bizarro will mix the ingredients again and you need to figure out what went wrong.'' She addresses Tim.

While Sasha and Bizarro put the ingredients in the bowl again and stir, Tim searches the internet for answers.

''Okay what we did wrong was filling the whole cake pan. You must never fill a cake pan any higher than 2/3 of the way. If the cake pan is too full they will flow over.'' Tim says as he has found their mistake. They now follow that guideline and put the cake pan in the oven again. This time when they take it out an hour and fifteen minutes later it looks good. They let it cool down for a while but when they want to try and take the cake out of the pan it doesn't move. It is stuck. No matter how hard Sasha or Tim shake the pan the cake stays stuck in it. In the end Bizarro uses his super strength to break the pan and get the cake out but the result is not that pretty. The bottom of the cake is burned and there are still parts of the cake pan on it.

''Let's try it another time.'' Tim suggest and they repeat the whole progress again. Only this time they use a round cake pan instead of the rectangular one because Bizarro destroyed that one.

''We need to use butter to grease a cake pan but we can also use parchment paper.'' Tim reads from his phone. ''That is what we forgot.''

''Do we have parchment paper?'' Sasha asks. Bizarro nods as he takes it out of a kitchen cabinet. Sasha takes it and squashes rectangular piece of parchment paper into the round cake pan. This time when they take out the cake after an hour and fifteen minutes and they take the cake out of the cake pan, the batter flows everywhere even though the top of the cake looked good. It wasn't overly cooked yet apparently.

''What did we do wrong now?'' Sasha sighs. Tim takes his phone out again to figure it out while Sasha throws their failed cake into the trash.

''Try again?'' Bizarro asks.

Sasha nods. ''We won't stop until we nailed it.'' Something flashes into her eyes and Tim thinks this is going to be a long day.

''I got what we did wrong.'' Tim begins. ''We were supposed to cut a circle to fit the bottom of the cake pan. Now we had all these folds of paper that trapped the cake batter. We should also stick a little wood skewer in the cake and check if it is dry or wet to see if the cake is ready.''

Sasha and Bizarro nod. ''Let's try this again.''

''There is no more sugar in this bag do we have any more?'' Sasha throws the empty sugar bag they bought in the trashcan.

''I think this is sugar.'' Tim says as he points at some white stuff in a see through container. He picks it up and throws some of it in the bowl. They then cream the butter and sugar and add the eggs, vanilla and flour and then stir it. They put the parchment paper in the cake pan the right way and then pour the batter in it. After that they put the cake in the oven again. After an hour and fifteen minutes they take the cake out and check it with a wood skewer. It is dry and so the cake is done. They let it cool down for a while before taking it out of the pan. Everything goes well.

''Finally we are done!'' Sasha shouts and Bizarro smiles happily.

''I hope Jason appreciates our hard work.'' Tim says and he stretches his arms.

Bizarro proceeds to cut a piece of cake.

''Why are you doing that?'' Sasha asks.

''To test.'' Bizarro responds.

''That is a good idea.'' Tim also cuts a piece of cake and gives it to Sasha. The three of them taste it at the same time. They also spit it out at the same time.

''Ugh.''

''So salty!''

''That white stuff must have been salt instead of sugar.'' Tim deduces and goes to fill a glass of water to drink.

''Why is baking a cake so hard?'' Sasha asks no one in particular.

''I don't know.'' Tim responds as he also hands them a glass of water.

''Aren't you supposed to be smart?'' Sasha responds.

''That doesn't mean I know how to bake a cake. Normally Alfred bakes them or I buy one from a bakery. That being said why don't you just buy one from a bakery or have Alfred make one?'' Tim asks.

''Not special.'' Bizarro frowns and Sasha nods in agreement.

''I think they are pretty good.'' Tim argues.

''Making it yourself makes it special and buying it is less special and expensive. We also cannot ask Alfred to make one because Jason will taste immediately that Alfred made it.'' Sasha explains.

''Well buying it from a bakery cannot be more expensive than all the ingredients we wasted.'' Tim argues.

''Yeah but you are paying for this.'' Sasha smirks.

Tim sighs in defeat. ''So you guys wanna try again?'' Sasha and Bizarro nod.

''Do we even have enough flour left?'' Tim raises an eyebrow.

''No but we do have those baking mixtures for baking a cake we also bought from the supermarket. We only need to use butter, milk and eggs.'' Sasha takes the mixture from their shopping bag and opens it. They follow the instruction on the packaging. Everything goes well even though when using the mixer cake batter still goes everywhere. In the time the cake is in the oven they decide to clean the kitchen up because it is a mess. They begin by throwing away all the packaging of the stuff they have used. But they lose track of the time.

''What time did we put the cake in the oven again?'' Sasha wonders.

''Oh Sh*t.'' Tim says as he opens the oven and takes the cake out. It is very burned. Sasha groans in frustration and Bizarro looks like he wants to cry. Tim looks around the kitchen. They do not have any eggs anymore or butter and it won't be long before Jason and Artemis will return.

''I think it is time we gave up.'' He mutters.

''No.'' Sasha responds. ''We still have one option.'' She grabs another baking mixture from their shopping bag.

''We don't have any flour, eggs or butter anymore.'' Tim says. ''We also do not have enough time to get them.''

Sasha rolls her eyes. ''Bizarro could do that easily with his superhuman speed. But something else will probably go wrong anyway. Be it pieces of eggshell or salt instead of sugar.'' She opens the packaging and takes out the bag of cake batter. ''But we don't need any of that if we use this.'' She continues. ''Tim you put some of the parchment paper in the cake pan, Bizarro give me 150 ml water. We only need to mix the cake mixture from this bag with the water and then put it in the oven. Even we cannot mess this up.'' They do as she says and put the cake in the oven. This time they do watch the clock very closely. The cake is done just in time before they hear Artemis and Jason coming home. Jason and Artemis walk into the living room and are surprised by Bizarro and Sasha with a loud Tadaa! As a cake is shoved into their faces.

''Wow.'' Jason begins as he gently moves the cake a little farther from his face. ''You guys made us a cake.''

Bizarro smiles happily. ''For you.''

''Thank you big guy.'' Jason says. ''I am sure it will taste great for dessert.''

''Yes thank you it is very thoughtful.'' Artemis takes the cake from Bizarro.

''We made together.'' Bizarre says as he points at Sasha and Tim. Jason raises an eyebrow at seeing the three of them together and gives a small, soft smile. But his eyes widen when he sees the state of his kitchen.

''It is very nice of you guys to bake a cake for us but really you never have to do it again. Really. I mean it. ''

Tim and Sasha laugh at that.


Author's note

Hi! Thank you for reading this. This was the chapter I was most excited for. I had this idea for a while now but never could bring myself to write it until now. I was inspired by my own baking experience and the Netflix show nailed it. I really love that show and cannot wait for a season three. As you may know English is not my language so maybe some translations are wrong. I apologize for that. You might think that Tim, Bizarro and Sasha is a weird combination of people but I just thought about it and stuck with it. This chapter became so much longer than usual and it is the longest chapter of them all. In the end I scrapped some other ideas I had. Those were in short about a measuring can they couldn't find and that they couldn't get the right proportions with it and on which setting the oven had to be on. I took some liberties with the instructions to bake a cake.

I also would like to ask for your guys help. I need help with writing a better summary for this story so if you have any suggestion please let me know I appreciate it. I also appreciate reviews. They give me motivation to keep writing. I also added an extra to this chapter. It has been a while and I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and the extra.


Extra

Stephanie laughs as Tim tells her the story of baking a cake with Sasha and Bizarro.

''Haha You should have asked me for help.''

''You?'' Tim repeats. ''You only know how to make waffles.''

''Which Jason loves very much.'' Stephanie replies smirking.

Tim sighs. ''I will remember it for next time.''

Stephanie raises her eyebrows. ''There will be a next time?''

''Yes Bizarro beamed when Jason told him how proud he was and I am sure he will want to make something for Jason and Artemis again.''

''Well tell him to give me a call I will also take Cass with me and you guys will be surprised by my waffle baking skills.''

''Sure.'' Tim replies though he is sure Jason wouldn't let them in his kitchen again. On the other hand Jason and Artemis have trouble saying no to Bizarro. Especially when he gives them the puppydogeyes. Though Jason did suggest asking Alfred for help next time. But they don't want to bother Alfred and Alfred will probably also not let them in his kitchen if he hears this story so next time he will probably call Stephanie. After all the only thing Alfred cannot make are waffles. Now that he is thinking about that whole happening again it reminds him of something he still has to do.

''I still have to buy Jason a new cake pan.''

''I can't believe you let Bizarro destroy it.'' Stephanie snickers.

Tim gives her a glare. ''I didn't let him he just did.''

''Shouldn't Bizarro buy a new one in that case?''

''No Jason said I should buy one because I was the oldest and that made me responsible and because I am rich.'' Tim says with hand gestures.

''But he still has one cake pan right?'' Stephanie asks.

''Yes I told him that too but no he wants to have a rectangular one.'' Tim explains.

''Well since you are buying one for your brother I think you should also buy something for your girlfriend.'' Stephanie suggests.

Tim raises his eyebrows in a really? Expression. ''And what do you want then? I thought you didn't know how to bake a cake.''

''I do not know how to bake a cake but I do like to eat a cake. So why don't you take me out on a date to my favourite cafe for some cake?'' Stephanie says as she leans closer to Tim.

''Maybe I will.'' Tim smiles as he crosses the distance and their lips meet.


Another Author's note

I honestly have no Idea where that last bit of the extra came from. It was supposed to end with After all the only thing Alfred cannot make are waffles. But I just continued to write and in the end it became this. I hope you guys still like it and yes in this universe Stephanie and Tim are now dating. If you have questions ask them. The next chapters will be much much much shorter by the way.