Ok I sent 3 chapters up in the same day! Hope you enjoy them! After reading your reviews I'm going to give a spoiler! It's not really life but I want my story to always have a happy ending! The babies will thrive but there will be complications through out my story. In real life I know that some premature babies don't make it. These babies will make it through this hard times. I was asked if I had gone through this because it is spot on. No I haven't but I did some research because I wanted it to be as real as I could get it. So thanks for the great reviews!
Chapter 36
The Love We Share
As She stands there gazing at their 3 babies her tears start falling down her cheeks. He takes her arm from his and wraps it around her waist and holds her hand with his other hand and says, are they beautiful Sweetheart! She chokes and says, they're so tiny Love! Yes they are but they're all doing great considering they're almost 2 months early! The nurse says they are fighters! Sweetheart this is Daniel Elijah! He's the biggest of the 3.
She asked, can I touch him? Yes Sweetheart you can! Let me open these little doors. He opens the doors and she put her hand in each hole. She whispers to him, hello my boy! I'm your mommy! I've waited so long to finally meet you! I love you so very much! You are so handsome! You have you're daddy's body! Long legs! You're going to be just like him! All of a sudden he smiled! Oh Jack he has your dimples! It was kinda hard to see the smile with the tube in his mouth but those dimples were there! She rubbed his cheek gently with the back of her finger! She brought one hand out , kissed her fingers and put it back in to his face and said, mommy and daddy love you so very much! We can't wait to hold you! Keep fighting for us! Can you do that for us? Daniel raised his little hand and it touched hers! Oh Jack look he touched my hand! The tears started rolling. She whispers to Daniel, we'll be back later! You rest now! She pulled her hands out and Jack closed the little doors.
She goes to the next incubator. Jack says, this is Charlotte Grace! I call her Charlie! Jack she's beautiful! She our second born! She's just 5 oz less than Daniel! She's the same length as he is! Jack opened the little doors. Beth put her hands through the little holes. She says, hello Charlie I'm your mommy! You are so beautiful! I've waited so long to see you! I've loved you from the first day I found out that I was pregnant with you! You keep fighting for us! Can you do that for us? Charlie managed a half smile! Look Love she has your dimples too! How am I ever going to be able to say no to them! She has my short body and legs! Beth kisses her fingers and places them on Charlie's cheek! She tells her that they will be back later!
As they get to the last incubator she puts her hands on her mouth and says, oh Love she's so much smaller than the other 2! Yes she is but she's a fighter Sweetheart! I love them everyone but there is something about her that keeps drawing me to her! This is Rebecca Nicole! I call her Beckie with an ie! Oh Love she is beautiful too! Jack opened up the little doors for her. She slides her hands in and as she touches her Beckie starts squirming! Look jack she's squirming! Yes she moves more than the other 2! She loves to be touched! Beth watched as the ventilator raised and lowered Beckie's chest. Love, we can't lose her! We're not going to lose her! She's fighting the hardest out of all of them! Beth keeps kissing her fingers and touching Charlie's cheek! Every time Charlie would try to snuggle into her fingers! Love she's so loving and she is a fighter! Jack I just want to hold them! I know Sweetheart so do I! We will, just as soon as they are able! As they stand there with Beckie, Beth begins to sing softly!
"Fight Song"
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosionAnd all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
Jack starts singing with her! He leaves her to open all their doors on their incubators! They step back and sing to all of them!
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep
Everybody's worried about me
In too deep
Say I'm in too deep (in too deep)
And it's been two years
I miss my home
But there's a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe
And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me
Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion
This is my fight song (Hey!)
Take back my life song (Hey!)
Prove I'm alright song (Hey!)
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong (I'll be strong)
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
No I've still got a lot of fight left in me!
You babies keep singing that in your little heads and keep it in your little hearts!
Daniel Elijah, Charlotte Grace, and Rebecca Nicole we love you all so very much! We will fight for you with every beat of our hearts! You babies need to keep fighting for us! We want to take you home but you need to fight for it! I know you didn't ask for this! We don't know what God has planned for us but what ever His plan is, we need to fight to stay together! I know in my heart that He didn't give you to us just to take you away, she said! They each kiss their babies and said they would be back later! We love you all so very much! Please keep fighting!
Back in Beth's room she staring out the window. Jack came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her and gently kisses her cheek! Beth Sweetheart, we are going to get through this! I truly believe what you told them! God will bring them home with us! I have a feeling it's going to be one at a time but however God does it is fine with me! Did I thank you for our babies yet? Love you don't have to thank me! And I know it's going to be a long time before they get to come home but I to believe God will bring them through this! But it hurts that I can't hold them except through the port holes! I know Sweetheart, I know! It hurts me to! But at least we can touch them! I'm happy with that for right now! I am to, Love! I thank God for you and your love every day, she said! Together we can get through anything Sweetheart! Yes together, Love!
A couple of days later is the hardest day of their lives. Beth is released from the hospital but she's going home without them. Her and Jack spend a couple of hours with them after she is discharged! They talked to them! They sang to them! They even got to change their diapers! Beth pumped one last time before they had to force themselves to leave them. Love, I don't know if I can do this. I know Sweetheart but we can't stay with them. Remember together we can get through this. I promise I will bring you here every day all day! Maybe they will eventually they will let Jarrick come with us! He would love that! It's time Sweetheart. Jack takes her by the hand and gently kisses her cheek and leads her out of the neonatal unit after she places a kiss in each of their cheeks and says, we love you all so much! I promise I will be back every day to see you! Jack puts his arm around her waist and leads her out. Once their out in the hallway, she stops and leans on him and breaks down and cries. He holds her tight to comfort her because that's all he can do for her. They cry and hold each other. They lean up against the wall for support. Jack stifles his tears.
Kind Heavenly Father we come before you today on behalf of ourselves and our 3 babies in there. Lord you know how hard it is for us today. We were hoping to be taking our babies home with us but we can't. We pray that you will keep your hands on them and protect them. We ask that you heal their little bodies Lord. We pray that you let them know that we will be back and that we love them. We pray Lord that you be with us and give us comfort in knowing they will be coming home. This is so hard Lord to leave them. Please take this feeling of emptiness we have. Please keep our hearts in check and know that in your time they will be coming home. In Jesus name. Amen.
Sweetheart? Are you ready to go yet? We can stay as long as you want to! Love? Please just hold me a little bit longer! I will never stop wanting to hold you!
After a bit longer Jack took her home. They pulled up in their driveway. Beth grabs his hand and says, it's not supposed to be this way. They were supposed to come home with us! I know Sweetheart, I know. We can go back later after dinner or whenever you get ready, ok? Ok Love! I'm really tired right now. Let's get you inside, then you can lay down and take a nap! Jack gets out and walks around to her side and opens her door. He holds out his hand to help her out of the car. Once inside she says, I think I'll just lay down on the couch for now. That's fine. I'll get you a blanket Sweetheart! Would you like a fire in the fireplace? I think so just to take the dampness out of the air in here. He got the fire going then asked, are you hungry or want something to drink? No Love, I just want you to hold me until I fall asleep! That I don't mind doing! He sat down next to her. Wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her. He listened to her breathing and could tell she was asleep. He allowed himself to fall asleep with her. They slept together on the couch holding each other for several hours. Beth woke up first. She managed to get out of his arms without waking him up. She stood up and placed the blanket back over him.
She walked into the bathroom. She just wanted a shower but couldn't yet because of her staples. She just wiped her face and hands. She noticed that it was time to pump because her shirt was wet. She dries her hands and walks into the nursery to get her pump. She stops in the doorway and just starts crying. She makes her way over to one of the cribs and picks up a stuffed animal and hugs it tight as she sat down in the rocking chair. She holds it to her face and cries into it. Jack get woken up by the sound of her crying. He jumped up and threw the blanket off and rushed to her. He goes through the bedroom door and follows the sound of her crying. He finds her in the nursery. Oh Beth Sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could fix this but it's in God's hands! I know...but...it...still...hurts. I know it does. He picks her up and sat down in the rocking chair. She leans her head on his shoulder still hugging the stuffed animal. He rocks her then starts singing quietly.
I Cross My Heart
By George Strait
Our love is unconditional
We knew it from the start
I see it in your eyes
You can feel it from my heart
From here on after
Let's stay the way we are right now
And share all the love and laughter
That a lifetime will allow
I cross my heart
And promise to
Give all I've got to give
To make all your dreams come true
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine
You will always be the miracle
That makes my life complete
And as long as there's a breath in me
I'll make yours just as sweet
As we look into the future
It's as far as we can see
So let's make each tomorrow
Be the best that it can be
I cross my heart
And promise to
Give all I've got to give
To make all your dreams come true
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine
And if along the way we find a day
It starts to storm
You've got the promise of my love
To keep you warm
In all the world
You'll never find
A love as true as mine
A love as true as mine
Beth Sweetheart, I hope you know I'm here for you always! I love you with all my heart and soul! I know Love! I love you so very much! I'm here for you too, ok? We're here for each other she said! He hugged her gently but tightly in his arms while he gently rocked the chair.
There was a knock at the front door. They both got up and walked to the front door. Beth still had the stuffed animal in her arms. When Jack opens the door Jarrick run into his mother and wrapped his arms around her waist! Jack asked his parents to please come in! Charlotte whispers to her son, we called the hospital this morning and they said she was discharged. So I figured you had brought her home. So I told Jarrick that we would come this afternoon to give her time to rest. Meanwhile Beth took him to the couch to sit down. Mommy can't pick you up but you can crawl into my lap. I can hold you as long as I sit down. She held him and hugged him gently. She was rocking him side to side. She asked him, how have you been doing? Good he said! Where's the babies mommy? Well son she said as she continued to hold him, her cheek on the top of his head, they have to stay in the neonatal unit at the hospital until they can breathe on their own. When will that be mommy? We don't know for sure son. They came almost 2 months early so probably for a good 2 months. We have to pray for them ok? Can you do that for me? Yes ma'am! I will pray every night before I go to bed! I missed you mommy! I know you did because I missed you too!
Meanwhile Jack led his parents into the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee. Beth calls, Jack can you come here for a minute. He looked at his parents then back at the doorway. He rushed to her side. What is it Sweetheart? Can you take him, I need to pump real quick. Sure, come to daddy bud! But I want mommy! I know but she needs to go change her wet shirt. You can have her back when she comes back, ok? Yes sir! Jack stood up with him in his arms. He walks into the kitchen holding him gently. He reaches for a coffee cup. He hands his parents a cup. He pours coffee for himself and them. He goes around the bar and took a seat. Beth comes in 30 minutes later will a clean shirt on. She sits down at the bar and takes Jarrick. Jack gets up to get her a cup of coffee. She savors the taste. Mmmmmm I forgot what it tasted like! Tom had brought dinner for them. He sat it on the bar. Charlotte got the plates down while Jack took everything out of the bag. Beth asks Jarrick, can you sit next to mommy so we can eat? Yes ma'am!
