When Chloe, Clark, and Emmeline walked into the Talon, they were quite unhappily surprised to find the place completely bathed in red lighting and a million hearts of various colors and sizes. The staff had added white wings and halos to their uniforms, and multiple couples danced in the center of the room.

"Chloe, what the heck is this?" Clark asked. "I thought we were coming in here to get a coffee. How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't know," Chloe told him. "I swear. I'm sorry, Clark." Clark turned to leave, but Chloe quickly pulled him back. "No, hey. You're not gonna spend the rest of your life hiding in the barn, either. Let's go." She forced him to start walking towards the back counter.

"What is it you always say about Valentine's Day? Oh, yeah. Our annual sneak peek at hell. That must have been before Cupid struck."

"Don't you think after being trapped in a front seat to the Clark/Lana operetta, I deserve a good V-Day?"

"You're the only person who can make me feel guilty, relieved, and a little sad all in one sentence."

Chloe smiled as she shrugged. "It's a gift. Don't worry, Clark. Your achy-breaky heart will go away too, one of these days."

"Can you put that in writing?"

"Just give the Lana thing a little more time. You never know when the next love of your life is right around the corner."

Suddenly, Jimmy appeared behind Chloe and spun her around into a kiss. Emmeline and Clark looked at each other as they stood there awkwardly.

"Jimmy," Chloe smiled.

Then Lois appeared beside him.

"…and Lois."

"Welcome to the love fest," Clark said sarcastically.

"Yeah, and me without my Uzi," Lois replied.

"Excuse us for just one second," Chloe said as she took Jimmy aside. She looked at him incredulously. "What are you doing? We were supposed to take Clark and Emmeline out tonight, remember?"

Jimmy shrugged and his eyes sparkled. "Yeah, well, Lois was all alone, and…then it hit me. Lois and Clark."

"Lois and Clark?"

"You gotta admit they got chemistry."

"Yeah, so do nitroglycerin and peroxide, and I don't suggest putting them together. And then what is Em supposed to do? Be the fifth wheel?"

Jimmy opened his mouth to say something and then stopped. "I…uh, didn't think of that."

Meanwhile, Clark, Lois, and Emmeline all stood off to the side until Lois made an observation that no one appreciated. "Please tell me we weren't just set up."

"Looks like it," Clark said dryly.

"Us. That's like hot fudge and halibut."

"I take it I'm the halibut."

"Naturally."

"I'm a little offended that I wasn't thought of," Emmeline said.

Clark started to walk away from the nauseating celebration. "Well, I've had my fill of fat babies with arrows. Knock yourself out, Lois."

"Uh, Clark!" Emmeline called after him.

Clark turned around to face her.

She took a deep breath and then decided to just ask. "One dance?"

The young man started to say 'no' because he'd rather leave as quickly as he could, not to mention he hated dancing, but when he saw the look on her face, he just couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"One dance," he acquiesced.

Emmeline smiled as he offered her his hand and took her to the middle of the dance floor. She knew that this might be a terrible decision and that it was only going to get her hopes up, but being surrounded by all this lovey-dovey nonsense just made her unable to resist.

"I'm a horrible dancer," Clark admitted.

"You did perfectly fine at prom," Emmeline laughed. "Either way, I'm not asking you to do anything fancy. Just hold my right hand and then put your other hand on my waist. Or you can go higher if that makes you uncomfortable."

Clark took her right hand in his left and put his other hand onto the small of her back.

"And then just sway back and forth to the music." She gently directed him in a small circle as they let the beat guide their steps. "See? Easy enough."

They continued to move around in small circles, and at one point, Clark was even brave enough to hold his hand out for her to spin around. It took a few seconds for them to get back into the beat, but overall, it wasn't as bad as Clark had feared it would be.

Chloe smiled as she watched Clark and Emmeline dance together. "That, however, is something I could get behind."


A knock sounded on Emmeline's front door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Lana standing on her porch.

"Hi," her raven-haired friend smiled.

"Hey. Um, come on in."

Lana slowly stepped through the door.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, thanks." Lana nervously crossed her arms. "Look, I know we left things off in kind of a weird place. And I realize that in our last few conversations, there was some truth to what you said, and that…I may have crossed a line the last time we spoke. I'm not going to ask you to give up his secret or anything, but just don't deny that he has one anymore."

"Then you need to trust that he'll tell you when the time is right." Because I'd like to not die again.

"Right. Well, I know that I should've told you about this a lot sooner, it's just that I wanted to deliver this in person, but then things got weird for a while, and…" She reached into her purse and pulled out a small card.

Emmeline read the card and saw that it was an invitation to an engagement dinner for Lex and Lana.

"It's tonight, so I understand if you can't make it…or if you just don't want to come. I know that events like these aren't exactly comfortable for you, and I, um, haven't really been a great friend lately."

Emmeline gently put her hand on Lana's arm. "Lana, all friends have their rough patches, it doesn't mean I don't want to support you. If you went out of your way to give this to me, of course I'll be there to celebrate with you."

"Great. I really want to have my bridesmaid there."

"Uh…is that your way of asking me…?"

"Um, yeah. If…if you want to."

"I'm honored. Of course I'll be your bridesmaid. Um…Chloe's coming to this dinner too, right?"

Lana laughed lightly. "As my maid of honor, yes, she is."

"Then I'll see you tonight."


"Will this holiday ever end?" Clark asked desperately at the Planet.

Chloe smiled. "Sorry to be the culprit of such a felony-sized PDA."

"We were supposed to meet 20 minutes ago. Where have you been?"

"I just, uh, got stuck in traffic."

Clark looked at Emmeline. "I thought you said you were going to be spending less time here."

Emmeline shrugged and gave him an awkward look. "Starting now."

"I did some digging into our favorite Martian Manhunter, but it's just coming up empty," Chloe said.

"We have another Manhunter to worry about," Clark told her. "Lois."

"Why does that make me picture her wielding an ax at every man in Metropolis?"

"She's only after one man." Clark shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Lois is…into me."

"She's into you? What, like…?"

Clark pulled out a CD case with a hand-drawn cover of a snake curling around a guitar, and the words 'To Clark'.

"Wow. She really pulled out all the stops."

"She's not herself, all right?"

Chloe and Emmeline began giggling as they stared at the custom CD art.

"It's like she overdosed on Love Potion #9 or something and this isn't funny!"

"Pretty funny."

"Chloe, we have to find out what happened before she strikes again."

"'Before she strikes again'?" Emmeline laughed. "You're acting like she's some kind of criminal."

Chloe glanced at the entrance to the workroom. "Too late."

"There you are," Lois smirked as she waltzed inside wearing a way-too-short skirt and a way-too-unbuttoned shirt. "I have been searching all over for you. Look what I got." She pulled back her shirt to reveal a tattoo of a heart with the words 'Lois & Clark Forever' above her left breast. "Maybe you could get one to match."

Clark, Chloe, and Emmeline's eyes all widened in disbelief. Clark frantically turned to look at the two young women.

"I-I think you're right about that story," Chloe stuttered. "I'm gonna look into it."

"Uh, Chloe—"

Chloe pulled Emmeline back inside the copier room. "Okay, we've had some weird things happen to us, but this is pretty bizarre. Did something happen at the party last night that I don't know about?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Emmeline answered. "Although did you notice that she was sporting a new shade of lipstick? Since when does Lois wear lipstick? Maybe whatever's going on has something to do with that."

"Okay, I'll try to look into it."

"Let me know if you find anything. I got to get to the clinic, but I'll see you tonight at Lana's engagement dinner, right?"

"Yeah."

Emmeline started to walk out of the Planet, but she froze when she noticed movement in the telephone booth.

Lois and Clark were kissing. Very…passionately.

With Lois's recent behavior, that part didn't surprise her, but what was surprising was the fact that Clark was kissing her back and very clearly enjoying himself. Emmeline should've guessed that something was up, and perhaps if it wasn't the day after Valentine's Day, she would've. But she was still somewhat riding on the high from their dance last night and seeing him kissing another woman right after he'd told her that he was in love with Lana certainly brought her down from her high.

She rushed out of the Planet as quickly as she could to try to erase the image from her mind.


Emmeline quickly walked up to Chloe as the woman entered the main room at the Luthor mansion. "Thank goodness, you're here."

"It hasn't been that bad, has it?"

"I've somehow managed, but it has not been easy. Where have you been?"

"Doing what I don't do best: delegating. I got a lead on what happened to Lois. I think you were right and she was hit with something a woman was selling at the Talon last night in the form of that lipstick. Jimmy's tracking her down to see what she was hit with and if there's anything to counteract it."

"Well, I hope you know that if you have to leave, I'm coming with you."

"Works for me."

The two women sat at Lana's end of the table and made polite conversation throughout the several courses (which Emmeline thought was overkill even for such a special occasion).

When the waiters brought out the dessert, Lex stood up and tapped his champagne glass with his utensil. "Could I have everyone's attention, please? I just wanted to thank you all for joining us to celebrate. Over the years, I'm sure some of you have placed a few bets on whether I'd settle down. But this couldn't be further from settling. I'd like to toast my beautiful fiancée for making me happier than I thought I could ever be."

Everyone at the table raised their champagne glasses. Emmeline tried to look happy, but even after all this time, she still didn't really approve of this relationship and wasn't totally convinced if Lex wanted to be with Lana because he loved her or if he saw her as some kind of prize. Even now, Lex's words felt honeyed and fake, as if he was just saying what he thought they all wanted to hear.

But maybe on some level she didn't know, Lex truly did care for Lana.

Suddenly, the doors to the room burst open, and Clark confidently strode in wearing a leather jacket with Lois hanging from his arm. "Looks like we missed dinner."

"Clark," Lex said thinly. "What are you doing here?"

"Come on, Lex. You didn't think I was gonna miss this, did you?" He looked over at the table and saw his mother among the guests. "And look. My own mother would rather raise a glass with the enemy than stand by her own son."

"Clark, you're not yourself," Martha said firmly.

"It's okay, Mom. You're more a Luthor than a Kent these days anyway. I mean, Dad's been, what, dead a year? But who can blame you for joining the race with Lana to see who's gonna add the Luthor monogram to their name first?"

Martha scoffed in disbelief. Emmeline and Chloe shared a concerned look. They'd both seen this kind of behavior before and knew exactly what was causing it. There was no telling what other things he was going to say and do.

Lex took a few steps towards him, but Lana quickly said, "Lex, he's obviously on something, and he wants us to react. Please, don't."

"Emmeline," Clark said as he walked over to the girl. He ran his fingers over her exposed shoulders which made her shiver. "It's kind of a shock to see you here considering that you hate any and all social gatherings. We finally make up and then you go and attend a celebration with Lex and all the other people he's got in his pocket? Come on, you don't really like Lex either, and you've always hoped that Lana would end things with him and get back together with me, didn't you? Or were all those conversations about it just a lie?"

Emmeline's face reddened as she avoided Lex and Lana's faces and prayed that they didn't take his words at face value. It was true that she didn't like Lex, but she didn't want Clark and Lana to get back together either. She wouldn't actively try to keep it from happening, but she wouldn't go out of her way to make it happen either. Of course, no one could know that.

"Chloe, I can't say that I'm surprised that you're celebrating here. After all, once Lana's off the market, all those years of unrequited pining may actually pay off." He knelt down next to her and whispered, "I can't say I haven't thought about it." Then he stood up and looked at Lana. "And you. You know, I got to hand it to you. If you were gonna rebound, why not choose the one person that I hated the most? But, I mean, come on, Lana. The joke's over by now, isn't it?"

"Clark, I think you've done enough damage," Lex said shortly. "Why don't you leave?"

"I am not done yet! Besides, Lex, I haven't given you my gift yet. Congratulations on sealing the deal." He tossed Lex a tiny baby rattle, and Emmeline closed her eyes as she sighed. "To Baby Luthor. The real reason that Lana's marrying you."

Lex charged towards Clark, but Clark easily sidestepped him and sent Lex crashing into a tower of champagne glasses which shattered as they all fell onto the ground.

"Lex!" Lana exclaimed as she bolted up from her seat and ran over to him. She glared at Clark and stormed over to him. "How dare you?!"

Clark roughly grabbed her arm. "Come on, Lana, if no one else in this room is gonna save you from Lex, then I will."

Lois quickly put her hand to Clark's chest. "I don't think so. Lana is your past. I'm your future."

Clark smirked. "This is the present."

He practically dragged Lana out of the room while everyone else could only watch. Emmeline sprang up from her chair and ran after him.

"Clark!" she called.

Clark stopped and turned around with another smirk, eyeing her in her navy-blue dress.

Emmeline stared at him with pleading eyes. He had to know that this was the wrong way to do things, that this would never help him get back together with Lana, that he had completely humiliated her just now in an environment where she was already uncomfortable.

That there was someone else who cared about him in ways Lana never could.

"You clean up nice," Clark said. "Not as nice as her, of course."

Then he continued dragging Lana out of the mansion despite her protests.

Emmeline put her hands to her face and willed away the tears forming in her eyes. She was not going to cry over Clark not liking her back, and she definitely wasn't going to cry because of something this Clark said. When it came to however Clark felt about her, he was not worth her tears.

Blotting her eyes before her makeup ran, she returned back to the dining area.

Lois sat at the table, drowning her sorrows in the chocolate dessert that had been served while Chloe just got off the phone with someone.

"Clark was acting like he was exposed to red kryptonite," Martha said to Chloe and Emmeline.

"I'm guessing it wasn't a coincidence that Lois went hopelessly devoted at the same time," Chloe told her. "According to Jimmy, I think we may have found our culprit." She held up a napkin with a lipstick stain on it.

"Lipstick?"

"Infused with a Cupid's cocktail. Lois was hit with an aphrodisiac."

"But that shouldn't affect Clark."

"Well, it didn't, but I'm guessing that the lipstick's ruby-red sheen didn't come from crushed cranberries."

"If he was infected with a kryptonite kiss, the second he was away from Lois, he should have been fine."

"I think Lois's kisses were a little more than skin deep. I think it's in his system."

"He wasn't good enough for me anyway," Lois mourned. She took another plate of dessert and immediately began digging into that as well.

"I'll let you two handle Lois," Martha said. "Hopefully, I can find Clark before Lex does." Martha quickly exited the room to go after her son just as Jimmy came in.

"Hey," Chloe said. "You got it?"

Jimmy handed her a small perfume bottle filled with what looked very similar to liquified kryptonite. "Mugwort, aka, a delegating success story. Now, once this hits her skin, Lois's pumpkin ride is over."

"What does she have that I don't?" Lois lamented as she sucked on her chocolate-covered finger.

"It's so weird to see her acting like a girl."

Chloe slowly walked over to Lois and held up the perfume bottle.

"What's that?" Lois asked.

"Just a little something to help break the infatuation spell. I think it's time we get those glass slippers back."

Lois stood up and knocked the bottle out of Chloe's hand. "You know what? Stop making fun of my feelings!" She roughly pushed Chloe's chest which sent her sprawling onto the floor.

The bottle rolled all the way down the table and nearly hit the ground and shattered, but Jimmy managed to catch it just in time.

"Just because you never got Clark doesn't mean you need to take it out on me."

Jimmy quickly stood up and sprayed the green liquid into Lois's face. After a few brief seconds, Lois's brow furrowed and she looked around her. Then she realized what she was wearing. "Uh…wow, this is awkward. Please tell me I was going to a costume party."


Clark walked through the doors into a large but cozy lobby.

Emmeline looked up from behind the front desk. "Hey," she smiled awkwardly.

"I've just realized that you've been here for over a year and I've never even seen where you work."

"Yeah. Are you feeling better?"

"Back to normal."

She walked around the desk and pulled him away out of earshot of the other workers and patients. "All the Red K is out of your system?"

Clark awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Em…I'm so sorry about what happened. We finally make up and then I just go and completely ruin everything."

"You weren't yourself."

"That's just it…I was. Red K doesn't change who I am, it just gets rid of my inhibitions and I say and do everything that's just been hidden away inside me."

"I know. If it's any consolation, I didn't really want to be there, but I wanted to support Lana."

"And you should've. Whatever's going on between us, you guys are still friends and I don't want to be the one to keep you from celebrating or hanging out together. It's just…Lana and I kissed last night, and I know I could feel something from her. I can't let her marry Lex."

"Clark, I don't really want her to be with Lex either which you know because you pointed it out last night in front of everyone. But…who Lana marries isn't for you to decide. You can't make all of her decisions for her. It will just push her even further away. And that's not really a healthy thing to do for either of you."

"But…"

"And Red K or not, you kidnapped and kissed an engaged woman which is really not great. Maybe take some time before you try to sabotage anything."

"Right."

"I gotta get back to work."

"Oh, right. Uh, one more thing, what I said right before I left…I was wrong. You looked really pretty last night."

Emmeline smiled and turned to go back to the front desk. She appreciated the sentiment, but she also knew that Red-K-Clark only said what Real-Clark was thinking which meant that he would always think that she could never compare to Lana's beauty.

"That's the guy you like?" the young woman at the computer, Katie, asked.

"Yeah."

"Shoot. I was hoping you liked another guy because I would like that man for myself."

Emmeline laughed and lightly pushed her shoulder.


Emmeline opened the door to her house and saw Chloe standing on her porch teary-eyed.

"Got any double-chocolate ice cream?" she asked through a pained smile.

"I just bought some today. Come on in."

Emmeline ushered Chloe inside and fixed them both up two large bowls of ice cream. Then they sat down on the couch while tears fell from Chloe's eyes.

"What happened?" Emmeline asked.

"It's Jimmy. He, uh, decided we need to take a break."

"What? Why?"

"I…was too passive about Clark's actions last night and he didn't take it well. I think he still believes that I'm head-over-heels in love with him."

"Well, are you?"

"I think there's this part of me that will always care about him on a deeper level, but…no, I don't think I'm in love with him. Which makes one of us."

"Pardon?"

"You like Clark, don't you?"

Emmeline looked down at her ice cream bowl which gave Chloe her answer.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It had been so long since I had feelings for him that I think I was in denial. I mean…I knew how much you liked him, and I felt that if he ever got over Lana and decided to date someone else, it should be you."

"I've been with Jimmy since the summer. Exactly how long have you liked him?"

"They started to spout up again towards the end of our senior year, but I really only fully admitted it to myself last winter."

"You've liked him for that long, and you didn't say anything?"

"I guess I wanted to process how I felt myself before I brought anyone else into the picture."

"Oh, come on, you don't keep things from your best friend. I'm supposed to be the one who helps you with that processing thing."

"It doesn't matter anyway. Last night basically confirmed that he's only ever going to have eyes for Lana."

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? You're the one who's dealing with a break-up. We should be focusing on you."

"I'm trying not to think about it."

"Chick flick night, it is."


Later that night, after Chloe had left and the house was empty, Emmeline paced in the living room and tried to make up her mind. The burner phone rested on the coffee table and she was sure she could hear it whispering her name.

Finally, Emmeline picked up the burner and dialed the one phone number inside. She was tired of sitting on the sidelines, she was tired of moping over Clark, she was tired of pinning all of her wishes on him, she was tired of being a third, fifth, and sometimes even seventh wheel, and she decided that now she was going to do something about it. After everything that had happened this year, she needed to take back just a little bit of control in her life.

The phone clicked, signaling that someone had answered on the other end.

"Oliver, will you teach me how to shoot a bow and arrow?"