After a few days, Shinji observed as he was cleaning the living room was that compared to Misato's old apartment, Burke's place was a lot more tidy, even if it was a bit on the dusty side. That feature was the first thing he noticed when he first had a look at all of the rooms when he moved in. There weren't piles of trash on the floor, nor empty beer cans and liquor bottles strewn about. Burke did have alcohol, but it was no more than two small bottles in a cabinet, and it didn't look like they had been opened in a while as the bottles had some dust on them as well.
He had explored other parts of the apartment too. The day before, after much hesitation and waiting until the man was gone, he ventured into Burke's bedroom. There wasn't too much to see at first. It contained what anyone would expect in a bedroom: a bed and a dresser and a closet which Shinji assumed had to contain clothes on hangers. There were also a few pictures on the wall. He saw what appeared to be members of his family and perhaps friends of his. It was one of those photographs that stood out to him. There was Burke, several years younger, in a Wille uniform like the ones he had seen on the Wunder. There were several others in the photo dressed similar to him, but there were two that Shinji recognized. One was Kaji and the other was Misato. She was smiling along with the others, and Shinji saw a trace of the woman he used to know, but he also saw that the smile was forced. There was very little of the light that he remembered of her in the photo. There was however, a good deal of the woman he met when he was on the Wunder.
Shinji had to admit that Burke's apartment was nice, but that there was also something off about it as well. The best word that he could find for this feeling was sterile. Burke as rule came home late and even then it was straight to bed, followed by getting up early the next morning. There were times he would take Shinji out to a few places around the city, but to Shinji, he acted more as a hired tour guide than someone enjoying their day off.
He concluded that Burke's apartment didn't have too much of that lived in feeling, unlike Misato's place, mess and all. Memories of his day-to-day life with her flooded back into the forefront of his mind. In reviewing those memories, Shinji thought not only of the time he had with Misato and the others, but on what could have been if he hadn't been absorbed into Unit 01. Would be have been out there right now fighting alongside them, he asked himself. Though he hated the thought of continuing to fight in the Eva, especially for as long as they have, he still felt sadness and guilt at the fact the choice was taken away from him as much by himself than by his father or anyone else for that matter. Shinji finished up his cleaning and laid down on the couch as soon fell asleep, those thoughts preventing his nap from being a peaceful one.
"Based on our most current estimates, the Wunder should be ready for launch within one week." Misato was giving this report to both Kaji and Burke over a direct line, the two men were seated in Kaji's office.
"That's good to hear," Kaji replied. "We can't wait to see you back out there, though it appears that Nerv has been quiet all this time. Long range observation hasn't reported any noticeable activity."
"After what happened recently, I don't like the fact that it's been so quiet," Misato stated. Burke was nodding his head in agreement.
"We need you to get a closer look at the area," he added. "Unfortunately, neither Unit 02 nor Unit 08 will be available. The fact that Dr. Akgai has a plan to repair them, I mean if we can even call it repairs, is quite audacious."
"It's the best option we have in so short of time," Misato answered, "unless you give us Units 10 and 11 in compensation."
"No can do," Kaji declared. "They're needed here in case of attack. It's also why your pilots will be stationed here on standby for them while you're gone."
"I'm sure they'll appreciate being able to stay in the city for a while longer. However, I'm not too keen on giving up my XO."
"Well, she is needed for supervising the repairs," Burke remarked. "Dr. Hood can give some assistance, but he has his own Evas to take care of." He went back to his tablet as Misato stared at him for a few moments until he looked up from his tablet, noticing what she was doing.
"Is something the matter Katsuragi?" Kaji asked.
"I…heard that Shinji is now living with you vice-commander." She said.
"That's correct," Burke replied. "It's been only a week, and there are still some things to work out, but I would like to think it's going fine so far."
"I see," Misato said followed by a pause. "How is he being monitored?"
"Intelligence has eyes on him," Burke answered. "He can leave my apartment when he wishes, I made sure to tell him that. I even showed him a convenience store within walking distance. So far, he hasn't gone anywhere on his own volition."
"That might be for the best. Could it be that you're giving him too much leeway?" Misato asked. Burke titled his head in confusion as he processed her question.
"I… don't understand your question Captain," Burke replied. "He's not using much of the leeway he has already. He can't leave the city by himself if that's what you mean, and if you think he could be recaptured by Nerv, they would have to stage a full scale attack on the city, unless you believe a Mark 04 can disguise itself as a janitor or something."
"What about being able to have access the Eva Units?" she asked. Burke's face was beginning to develop a scowl.
"Not possible," he replied. "Unless he has direct permission from either myself or the Commander, he can't enter the facility to use the men's room, let alone go to the Eva cages."
"We need to take every precaution-" Misato began to say before getting cut off by Burke.
"And speaking of precautions, I do have some questions regarding the ones you took."
"Questions?" she asked.
"During our interrogations, Shinji talked about the few hours that he spent aboard the Wunder. Let's just say he didn't paint too rosy of a picture of his encounter with bridge crew." The two men could tell she had gritted his teeth.
"There were circumstances beyond our control," as all she said.
"Circumstances you say? You had him brought to the bridge when he was still unable to know which way was up," Burke countered. "Why would you do something like that? Couldn't you have gone to where he was under lockdown?"
"We had to confirm if it was really him," Misato argued. "I was in no position to leave the bridge. We did have the Nemesis series after all."
"I more than understand that you and the crew were under tremendous strain during that battle, but I have been going through your report and the ship's log, and I found that the attack didn't happen until after he was brought to the bridge. So I'm asking again, why was he brought onto the bridge? Why couldn't it wait until the ship was relatively safe?" Misato took a breath before she answered him.
"The bridge was the safest place on the ship to calibrate the DSS System. And as I stated earlier, there was no solid confirmation that he is Shinji Ikari. I felt that it wasn't necessary for me to leave the bridge at that time." Burke didn't buy it, but he decided to let it side She was right that precautions needed to be made at that point. But as it is now certain that this is Shinji, he still couldn't get her reasoning.
"Even if your explanation is adequate," Burke stated, "one of the biggest problems I have with your handling of the matter is that when the Mark 09 attacked and was about to capture the boy, you threatened to blow his head off right in front of him. I'm surprised he didn't flip you off when he boarded it."
"You weren't there damn it!" She shouted at him. "The situation was becoming out of control. Something had to be done! But Ritz…she told me…to activate it…" She was beginning to shake from the influx of emotions.
"Enough of this!" Kaji said. "I'm sure everyone here can agree that what's done is done and there's no going back. Captain, I hope to see the Wunder take flight again. Anything else Vice-Commander?"
"No Sir," he wasn't looking at the screen.
"And you Captain?" Kaji asked.
"Only one question for the Vice-Commander," she replied. It was apparent to the other two that she had regained her composure. "Do you believe that you will be able to do a good job in taking care of Shinji?" Burke turned around and stared at her before he spoke.
"A better job, I'd say," was his answer. Misato sat there for a moment, the other two unable to read her face.
"I'm signing out. Thank you," she said at a rapid rate before the screen shut down. The two men sat at the table in silence. Burke shifted his eyes to Kaji, who was looking right at him and there was no sign on his face suggesting he was in a good mood.
"You know," he said after a brief pause, "you could have been on better terms with her if you just shot her with your gun." Burke laid his head low on the table.
"I know sir, I took it too far," he said. "It was just that she was pushing it on the matter, and with what else I've been hearing, I let my temper got the best of me."
"What do you mean what else?" Kaji asked. "What do you know?"
"They wouldn't admit this to you willingly," Burke began as he sat himself back up. "But I have been approached by several senior staff members as well as some city officials asking that we put a DSS system on him. After some prodding, they admitted that it was the Captain who brought it up with them."
"I see," Kaji flung the stylus he was holding onto the table in not too gentle a manner.
"I'll admit she means well," Burke continued, "but putting one on him now wouldn't do anyone any good, least of all Shinji. And it would throw our plans for him out the window." He slumped down on the chair again. "I knew I should have gone out there as soon as we knew he was recovered."
"You wouldn't have made it before the Mark 09's attack," Kaji replied. "You know that."
"I suppose," Burke said. "I will apologize to her, but please let it wait until there's situation where cooler heads must prevail." Kaji nodded his head in affirmation as he picked up a tablet and began to bring up information.
"So he hasn't left the apartment on his own?" he asked.
"Nope, but it isn't as if he's uncomfortable. He has plenty of food, and he can keep himself entertained." Kaji raised an eyebrow at him.
"He's a kid, not a dog," he said. "He needs to get out once in a while."
"And he has," Burke sat right back up. "I've taken him places. A couple of days ago, I took him out to the park on the fourth ring."
"Again, I can't help noticing the dog imagery," Kaji said. "I think he needs a job."
"A job? What kind of job?" Burke asked. Kaji handed him the tablet and Burke read the info, his brow furrowing and his mouth scrunching up into a twisted shape. He put the down the tablet and straightened out his face.
"Sir, I've been in combat, you know that I'm not a coward. But there is no way in hell that I would do something like this, let alone the kid." Kaji just snorted at his answer.
"Maybe you are a coward after all," he said. "He needs something to do. Something that gets him out in the world. Having the tutor is not enough." Burke looked at the tablet again to reread the job description.
"Do you believe he can do this?" he asked.
"If he could fight Angels, I'm sure he can do this," Kaji answered.
"I'd still rather take on Unit 07 and the Devastator system again," Burke stated as he stood up. "I'll ask him, but I'm not sure he'll go for it."
"I think you'll be able to convince him," Kaji said.
"You seem to have a lot of confidence in Shinji and I," Burke said. Do you ever think you could lose that bet?"
"You can never win, if you don't take a gamble," was Kaji's reply. Burke shook his head as he left the meeting room.
It was the smell of cooking vegetables that woke Shinji from his nap. He sat up on the couch and discovered Burke working in front of the stove. He got himself up and walked into the kitchen.
"I see you're awake," Burke said as he kept his attention on the cooking. "It should be done in a little bit, but I can't guarantee it'll taste good."
"Burke, you're back," Shinji said.
"Yeah, I was able to get away a little early, so I decided to make dinner," he replied. "By the way, is the food I've been getting okay with you? I've only started to get grocery deliveries. It used to be be I just grabbed all of my meals from the cafeteria at work."
"It's fine," Shinji said. He was amazed when he first found out that there was food. Bread, fruit and vegetables, even meat in limited quantities. With his experience at Nerv HQ, he thought that these items were no longer around. "I'll set the table," Shinji went to the cupboards and began to set the plates, glasses and flatware for Burke (chopsticks for himself) needed. When everything was ready, Burke brought out the meal, a crude stir fry, and placed some on each plate. Shinji had to admit when he took a bite that although the dish was amateurish, it did taste good. One more thing that was different between him and Misato. They ate in silence for several minutes before Burke spoke.
"So, how have you been spending your days," he asked. "I dusted a bit today."
"Oh, um, well…Doing a little of this and that," Shinji replied looking down at his food.
"Okay," Burke stated. "I was asking because I would think that you would get really bored being cooped up in here all day."
"It's not a problem," Shinji replied. "I mean, it's not like there's anything I can do out there."
"On that point, I have to disagree," Burke said stepping away from the table and returning within seconds with his tablet in hand, which he handed to Shinji. "Take a look at this." Shinji began to read the job description, his mouth starting to quiver and his eyes widen at the details that were before him."
"I…I…can't…no." He managed to stammer out. "I've never done anything like this."
"True, but it could be a good thing for you to try," Burke took a long drink of water before he spoke further. "I mean, everybody when they start something for the first time doesn't perform it like an expert."
"But still," Shinji continued. "I don't know what would happen if—"
"You're not going to be alone," Burke cut in. "There are going to be adults there who know what they are doing."
"Well…" Shinji sighed in resignation. "If you have no one else, then…" Burke saw this line coming. He read the report from the psychiatrists and knew what he wanted to say to counter it, though it might be risk to do it this way as well.
"Oh sure, there are other people who could do it. More qualified too." Shinji looked up at him in surprise.
"Then why do you want me to—" Burke held up his hand so he could speak.
"The reason we want you to take this on is because we believe it might you a good opportunity to learn about the world." Shinji paused for a moment before he spoke. He remembered hearing those words somewhere. They sounded familiar to him.
"Really?" he asked Burke, who nodded yes.
"Let's make a deal," he said. "Give it a week, around three hours a day or so. If by the end of that week, you still don't think it's right for you, you don't have to do it anymore. No questions asked, no hard feelings. What do you say?" Shinji mulled the offer for a few moments before he spoke.
"Only one week?" he asked.
"Only one," Burke answered. Shinji became silent for another minute thinking over the pros and cons of the whole deal. He concluded that there was no reason not to trust him.
"I'll do it," he told him.
"Good to hear that," Burke said. "I'll get in touch with the people in charge, and you can start in a couple of days. Sound good?
"Sure," Shinji replied. Burke finished his meal and started to pick up his dishes "I'll put these in the sink and then I'll take a look at this thing I've heard about called tee-vee."
Shinji gave a slight chuckle at his remark before he went back to his food. Despite Burke's assurances, he still felt anxious at whole prospect. He was unsure if it was going to be all right, if he could do a good job, or even if he would be welcomed there at all. He finished his plate, washed up the dishes, and seeing that the program Burke was watching didn't interest him at all, went to bed.
"I should congratulate you," Kaji said to Burke. "I knew that you could convince him."
"I only bought a week," Burke replied, "and I did promise that afterwords, he could stop if he wanted to."
"Fair enough," Kaji said getting in his chair. "We couldn't ask for anything more, but I have a feeling he'll stick with it."
"You seem to know the moves before they're made," Burke observed as he looked through some paperwork. "You're reminding me of someone else I heard about that treated people as pawns." Kaji leaned back in his chair and smiled, amused.
"I'm not that manipulative," he replied. "I'm just a firm believer in the goodness of human beings."
"So, you are placing a bet on him?" Burke countered.
"If you want to put it that way," Kaji answered. "Is Shinji there now?"
"I brought him there before I came to main meeting," Burke said. "He has been there for about an hour or so. Our reserve pilots, on the other hand, you can't have a good idea where they are at. The show up for duties; sync tests, briefings, the usual. But the moment they're just on standby, the two go off to who knows where. I've seen them walking around in the corridors."
"They're probably just glad to get off the Wunder," Kaji said.
"That may be the case," Burke said. "The few times I've passed them, Shikinami kept giving me he stink eye."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but I think I know the reason why," Burke continued. "I'm afraid that I was more than a little cold to her when Shinji was first brought in."
"Ah, so that might explain the roaming," Kaji said more to himself than to his subordinate.
"Sir?"
"Nothing. It's nothing," Kaji waved it off. "So, what next for you?"
"A meeting with the tactical division," Burke answered. "When that's over, it should be time to pick up Shinji."
There have been many things that Shinji has found looking at him that have both surprised and unnerved him. The first time he saw Unit 01, every time he saw one of the Angels, and even when he had those people staring at him on the Wunder. However, what was staring at him this time was not only unnerving him, but was unnerving him despite the knowledge that it couldn't harm him in any way. The four-year-old girl that was looking at him was called away by one of the adults at they daycare center. He looked around at the controlled chaos of the play area.
"Shinji, could you help me here for a second?" One of the caretakers called out to him. Shinji went over and helped her grabbed a large toy house off a high shelf and gave to a few seven year old girls followed by assisting another caretaker settle a dispute between two boys though he didn't participate too much in the settling, nor could he figure out what the dispute was over in the first place.
All those three hours, Shinji helped the adults with various tasks that needed doing. The children who were there eyed the big kid with a mixture of curiosity, fascination, and to some of them, a little fear; not that the feeling was based on anything Shinji did or said, but I was based on the usual apprehension when a child meets someone for the first time. Shinji, in turn, got a sense of those feelings, adding to his general uneasiness. When he was done for the day, Burke came to pick him up. When they were out of the daycare center, Shinji hunched himself over, letting the stress out of him.
"Tough day?" Burke asked him. Shinji nodded yes, not saying anything else.
"The first day of anything is often the toughest," he added. "As the days go on, you find that it does get, well if not easier, at least you find yourself able to handle it better."
"If you say so," Shinji said not looking up.
"Okay then, We'll head back to the apartment real quick so you could get freshened up, and then we're heading out to eat."
"We're going out to eat?" Shinji now looked up at him. "Why?"
"To celebrate your first day," Burke replied. "It's not a place I go to too often. Ninety percent of the time, I just grab something from the cafeteria at work, but it's still a good place to eat."
"Okay." Burke noticed that Shinji has developed a small smile on his face. That action surprised Burke. He never expected that Shinji would smile, at least not to soon since he arrived. This brought a smile to his own face as the two left the building for their meal.
The next day, Shinji was back with the kids. It was still difficult to to do some things and he still felt overwhelmed. However, he also got an idea what Burke was talking about. It did seem to him that the tasks were a little easier, even if it was by just a little. During the middle of his shift, he found that there wasn't a thing that had to be done at that moment. He looked around saw the children playing and the caretakers at one corner of the room chatting amongst themselves. He then felt something grab and tug one his arms. He looked down and discovered the same little girl from yesterday tugging at him.
"Um, is something wrong?" he asked her, unsure of what was going to happen. The girl started to pull him behind her as she led him to one part of the room.
"Come on," she told him.
"Where are you taking me?" he asked her. He was surprised that for a young girl, she had a strong grip. The girl led Shinji to corner where there was a small table and a set of chair. Several bowls, glasses, plates and other items were on the table.
"Sit," the girl said as she sat down herself. Shinji sat down in the kid-sized chair, his knees reaching his chest. The girl began to set out some plastic plates and tea cups. She also brought out a kettle. She poured into Shinji's cup, but nothing came out of the kettle. She repeated the process with her own cup with the same result. She then brought the cup to her lips and pretended to drink.
"Yummy," she said when she set the cup the down. "Drink it," she told Shinji. Understanding what was going on at last, he brought his own cup and appeared to gulping it as well. He set the cup down.
"Is it good?" she asked.
"Delicious," Shinji replied playing along.
"Would you like some more?" she then asked.
"Yes please," he answered. The girl, who Shinji learned while they were playing was named Akane, 'poured' another cup for him and he drank the imaginary liquid. He found himself enjoying playing with her and was getting more and more into the tea party. A hauntingly familiar voice interrupted their playtime.
"So this is where you were." Shinji turned and found himself facing Asuka along with Mari, who waved to him.
"Asuka…" was the only thing he could get out of his mouth. She eyed him in turn taking stock in the situation she found Shinji in.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked him. "I saw you through the window and had to do a double take."
"I help the adults here," he said.
"I don't see how," she countered looking around. "You probably just get in their way." She picked up a crocodile puppet that a kid dropped on the floor and looked at it. "I mean, do you even know what you're doing?"
"No, not really," Shinji answered,, "but I'm learning." He paused for a few seconds watching her put her hand in the puppet and take it off again before he spoke again. "You know, you're lucky."
"Lucky?" she asked.
"I mean, you know what you're doing," Shinji continued as he was looking at one of cups from the tea set. "You at least have some purpose in your life. I envy you." Asuka put the puppet down and walked towards him. When he looked up, she was standing right over him, her face was hidden by her hair.
"You envy me?" she asked, her voice stern. "You envy someone who's been in combat more times than I can count, who has been on missions where the odds of me dying were greater than success, who wonders almost every day if this is the last day I'll live? Do you envy that?" Her voice had gotten loud enough so that every kid ans adult in the room stopped what they were doing and turned towards the two. Even Mari began to fidget under the sudden tenseness that came into the room.
"You're more naive than I thought," she sneered. "Pathetic." Asuka felt some movement below her and looked down to find Akane staring up at her. She bent down to meet the girl at eye level.
"Hey little girl, could you play over there for a little while? We're talking important stuff here," she said to her in a fake nice voice. Akane answered by giving her the raspberry at point blank range.
"Ack!" Asuka yelled as she wiped the spit from her face. Mari covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter. Shinji just sat there stupefied at the whole matter.
"Shinji, you idiot!" she declared. This is all your fault!"
"What do you mean my fault?" he replied. "I didn't do anything."
"You probably told her to do it," she countered. "You two are perfect for each other. You're both brats." Whatever else she was going to say was interrupted by Akane, who stood up and walked to her.
"You're mean!" she yelled while at the same time kicking Asuka in the shin. Asuka screamed as she held her shin and yelled several new words the children learned that neither the caretakers nor the children's parents appreciated too well. Mari could not hold it any longer and she burst out laughing. Within minutes, Asuka, with Mari's help, limped her way out of the center, but not before glaring at Shinji as she left. He glanced towards Akane, who beamed a huge smile as if asking for validation. He gave a weak smile in reply, which caused Akane to smile even louder before running off to meet some other kids to tell them her side of the story. Shinji remained in his tiny chair, replaying the recent events wondering what just happened.
A couple of days later, the daycare group was gathered on the roof of the Wille facility. The kids were running around enjoying the change of scenery and sense of freedom while the caretakers ran themselves ragged to keep everybody under control. Shinji, who was holding Akane, stared out at the city below. He believed that he would never get tired of the sight. He didn't notice Kaji slipping in right next to him.
"Wonderful view," Kaji remarked. At first startled by his voice, Shinji turned to face him.
"It really is Commander," Shinji replied.
"Oh don't be so formal," Kaji said. "You can still call me Kaji, like the old days."
"Oh, okay," Shinji replied. "We should thank you for letting us up here."
"Don't mention it," he stated. It's not everyday that people can see the Wunder launch."
"When do we see it?" Akane asked, wiggling around in Shinji's arms.
"In a little while," Shinji cooed. He glanced at Kaji.
"According to the schedule, she should launch in about five minutes or so," he answered. "Burke is managing it in the Command Center, so he would have a better idea, but he hasn't told me of any changes so far."
"Okay." Shinji said. "I see that there's more than just us waiting for the launch." The two took notice the people looking through windows as well as on top of roofs and on balconies.
"Word gets around," Kaji stated. "The ship and crew are rather popular. There's even a few familiar faces checking out the scene." Shinji looked where he was pointing and saw Asuka and Mari on an upper roof.
"I heard there was an incident with those two a couple of days ago, at the daycare center." He added.
"Yeah, they're not welcome there anymore," Shinji replied.
"I'll make it a point to tell them," Kaji said with a smirk. Their attention was then drawn to a noise that came from the outer wall. The two, as well as everyone else, saw the Wunder rise into the air. The kids began to shout with glee with the exception of a few that began to cry in fear. The Wunder hovered for a few seconds before it turned towards the city. The ship flew over the tower giving everyone a closeup view of its underbelly. It then crossed the other side of the city and sped off.
"Well, there she goes," Kaji remarked.
"It's gone," Akane said.
"Don't worry," Shinji replied. "We get to go to the park next week."
"Next week?" Kaji asked. Shinji nodded yes not understanding the implication of his question.
"All right then," he said with a grin. "Time to get back to work." The other caretakers were gathering the kids to take them back. Shinji turned back in the direction of the Wunder, now appearing as a faint dot in the sky. He felt a twinge of regret once again, think that perhaps he should be there. Akane pulled on his hand signaling to go. He gave her a smile and proceeded with the others. He may have wished he was on board, but for the moment, he felt this was the place he had to be.
