Shinji felt as he was walking down the hallway that he wasn't moving of his own will, that he was being moved by an independent power. He didn't mind this, in fact, he didn't seem to mind anything. His emotions were non existent, dead would seem to be a better word for it. He reviewed all that he found out in his mind, going over each detail. Could it have been all true, he thought to himself. Along with all that he knew before he came to this city, he had to wonder if this was the reason he was brought into this world, to help destroy it? Can it even be considered his world? The only thing that he knew for certain was that whether it was or not, he could no longer be in it. That was for the best. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught his reflection in a stainless steel door. There wasn't too much distortion in it, so he was able to make himself out. However, he looked at it like it was something foreign to him, something alien. That's what he was, he thought. An alien in a world of human beings.
He looked away from it to see a sign that said 'Stairway for Emergency Use Only.' He opened the door to find the stairway and discovered that it would take him higher than the top floor. He went up a couple of flights when the stairs ended at another door. He opened it, meeting a blast of refreshing air. He stepped onto the roof of the building, there was nothing any higher. Taking in the wonderful view of the city, which he had always admired looking out at the city from the time he first set eyes on it he saw the tower that was Wille HQ at the center, looking as grand as when he first saw it. He also remembered that was where some in the Astronomy club wanted to have their stargazing night. He was going to miss that, but if they knew what he actually was, they wouldn't want to be friends with him anyway. This was for the best. At the very least he has the pleasure of one last grand look before it was all over.
Shinji made his way to the to ledge. Once he looked over the edge and saw how high we was up, he recoiled from there by instinct. Swallowing that instinct down, he put one leg on the ledge and was about to raise the other when the door opened with a bang. He turned around to find Burke at the doorway doubled over, cheeks flushed, holding his hand on one side of his torso, and making a high pitched wheezing sound. Shinji watched him for a good minute as Burke recovered himself and stood up straight, though he was still taking heavy breaths.
"Shinji," he said in between those breaths. "Please don't!" Shinji stared at him for several seconds before he answered.
"Why?" he asked him. Burke took another deep breath, not because he was still recovering, but because he was being careful in choosing the next words he was going to say. It could be all the difference.
"Because I don't believe that you are the type of person that can go through with it. By this time, the tactical team arrived on the roof along with Hyuga and Ritsuko, who arrived last as if she was being fashionably late to a dinner party.
"Then what type of person am I?" Shinji retorted. "Am I the scared little boy always trying to please a man who thought was his father. The Eva pilot who made a real bad mistake? Or the person who just found out that his entire life was one big lie, that he isn't even human in the first place? Tell me." Hood had come onto the roof as well and whispered something into Burke's ear, who nodded in reply. Shinji saw the two of them shift their eyes to their left, and was about to look himself when Burke spoke again.
"All of them Shinji. People are complicated, and part of life means dealing with those complications in other people, as well as ourselves. So, why don't you come on down and I can explain more if you like." Shinji made his refusal with a simple nod of the head.
"You don't get it. I've made Misato miserable, I've made Asuka miserable, I've made millions miserable over the years, and I might make more people miserable in the future. It has to end."
"Don't you understand that it wasn't you who did-" Burke began, but Shinji cut him off.
"It makes no difference." With the thumb and forefinger of his left hand, he pinched the meaty part of his right thumb to empathize his point. "There was no difference between them and me, we're the same. What was in them is in me. I'm not human!" He thought he saw something out of the corner of his right eye, and started to turn and see what it was when Hood began speaking.
"You have the same physical and emotional properties as any of us here," he said as he crossed over to Shinji's left. "Same organs, same nervous system, same everything. It's only on the genetic level where you are different. Otherwise, you fit the definition. Don't you see-"
"Enough!" Shinji shouted at him. He hung his head for several seconds before he rose it again to speak. "Look, this is the only way that I know that I can't cause people any more pain again. With me out of the way, it might even give you the edge in fighting Nerv." He turned towards Burke, who appeared to Shinji to have a look of, he could only assume to be failure. Perhaps that's what he thought of him all this time. Just another failure.
"Mr. Burke, tell the school that I found out my parents suddenly died or something like that. It should be enough of an explanation." He then looked at the people who had gathered up here. He had preferred to be alone when he did this, but it wasn't as if he could complain about it.
"Thank you," he said with tears forming in his eyes. "Thank you for letting me be in this world, even if it was only for a short time. "Shinji turned, ready to launch himself off the building in one single leap when he saw a foot flying at him. There wasn't even a second to react as he found himself of the floor of the roof staring up at the sky. He heard several sets of footsteps racing towards him. He tried to get up, but the foot that kicked him now landed itself square on his chest. It wasn't hurting him, but there was just enough pressure to prevent him from getting up. He tilted his head to see its owner to find Asuka towering over him.
"Asuka…" he said.
"Stay down idiot," she answered.
"Wh-Why won't you let me die?" he asked. She said nothing. Shinji was about to speak to her again, but felt a sharp pain on his thigh followed by Hood's voice.
"Okay Shinji, say good night," he said.
"Huh? What do you mean good night? It's…It's mid…afternoon…" Shinji slipped into unconsciousness. After checking his pulse, Hood stood up an put the syringe back in its case.
"It's all right now," he said to Asuka, who took her foot off him. "Call for a stretcher, We'll take him to the medical wing." As one of the tactical team members called to it, both Hood and Burke went over to Ritsuko.
"What the hell did you think you were doing ?" Hood asked her.
"What Shinji asked me to do," she replied. "I am not responsible for what he does with it."
"The hell you don't," Burke declared. "I was afraid something like this was going to happen. That's why I thought it was too soon. You should have refused him when he asked." As they continued to bicker, Misato followed by the stretcher team that brushed past her. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Shinji collapsed on the roof. As the stretcher team secured him, she went over to Asuka, who had been hovering over him, and conferred with her. The took Shinji away, Asuka following them. Misato watched them leave, and after they were gone, she marched over to Ritsuko, who saw her coming.
"Captain, I-" Ritsuko began to say when she was interrupted by her receiving a right hook from Misato's fist, knocking her to the ground.
"You were to consult with me before discussing any of those matters with Shinji!" she shouted at her. Ritsuko got up though she was still disoriented from the punch. Misato then turned to Hyuga.
"Commander, escort the Vice-Captain to the Wunder. I'll discuss these matters with you two when I return."
"Y…Yes Captain," Hyuga replied. He helped Ritsuko and led her off the roof.
"Well, there's nothing else we can do here," Hood said to everyone remaining. "Am I wrong Vice-Commander?" Burke shook his head no.
"Then let's get off the roof. Looks like rain anyway."
