Kaji was sitting at his desk reading over reports from various departments over what had happened with Shinji when Burke walked right into the office, and without saying a word, went to the couch and laid down on it with a plop.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," Kaji said.

"Well, he's secured in the hospital wing," Burke said ignoring Kaji's sarcasm. "He's still sedated, but the docs say he'll wake up in about three to four hours. He is under constant video surveillance, but Shinkinami is by his bedside watching over him. I'm not sure if she is the right person to be there though." Kaji took off his reading glasses, and made his way over to a liquor cabinet to pour two glasses of Scotch.

"You don't need to worry about Asuka," Kaji stated. "She might not act like it, but she can pull her punches." He walked over and handed a glass to Burke who nodded his thanks. "Do you think he'll pull through."

"Hell if I know," Burke replied. "What he's learned today could push him past the brink, and that kid has already been on the edge of sanity once already. I guess we'll find out in a few hours." He drank half of his Scotch before he spoke again. "I…really fucked up back there."

"I don't see how," Kaji remarked. "You couldn't have known Shinji was going to do that."

"But I could have seen him leave the room," Burke countered. "I was too busy arguing with Akagi to notice him leave. If I stopped him at that point, a lot of grief would have been spared."

"But he didn't go through with it," Kaji said. "Can't you take some comfort in that?

"No I can't," Burke replied. "We didn't convince Shinji to step off that ledge. It was Shinkinami that made the save. I can now truly understand what the Duke of Wellington said about Waterloo being a close run thing." He drained the rest of his glass and held it out expecting it to be refilled. With a mild scowl, Kaji took the glass and refilled it.

"If you want more, I suggest you go to your own place or to a bar," he said as he handed Burke the glass.

"Wasn't planning on get blitzed," Burke replied before taking another sip. "I need to have my wits about me in case there's any news on Shinji." Kaji's desk chirped, and he headed over there.

"What is it?" he said.

"Sir, Captain Katsuragi is here to see you," a voice at the other end said.

"Send her in," he replied. Burke sat up on the couch as she walked in. She looked at both of them before she spoke.

"Commander, as commanding officer of the Wunder, I am informing you that there will be a delay in deploying for at least twelve hours due to…unforeseen circumstances."

"Very well Captain," Kaji said. "Would you care for a drink? Join the pity party?"

"I'm afraid not," Misato answered. "There are certain matters regarding a couple members of my crew that require me to be sober."

"Are you going to see him as well?" Kaji asked. She paused for a minute before she answered.

"That remains to be seen," She said. "Some of these matters require me to be aboard the ship, so I might not be able to take the time to go to the hospital."

"Misato…" Kaji muttered under his breath. The woman, in turn, was about to give her regards to him when she saw out of the corner of her eye Burke looking at her.

"What is it?" She asked him.

"I have been thinking, and I've come to realize that you were right," Burke said.

"Right? Right about what?"

"About Shinji. I wasn't able to do as good of a job as I thought." She gave a slight smile in his direction. Burke saw that it was not a condescending smile, but a smile of genuine sympathy.

"The Commander here has been forwarding your reports on Shinji's progress to me for the past few months. With all the things he was doing, the daycare center, school, even his home life, it seemed to me that he was genuinely happy. There was none of that in my apartment. There were fun times, yes, but it was always making sure he and Asuka were ready to pilot first and foremost. And yout know the results of that. He just left the apartment without looking back at me."

"You consider that bad?" Burke countered. "The kid tried to jump off your apartment building. At least you never had that. I… do owe you an apology for what I said back then."

"Back then?"

"When Shinji first arrived here, you asked me whether I could do a good job taking care of him, and I replied I could do better. That was a low blow on my part. I am truly sorry for that."

"Wait," Kaji interrupted. You mean to say that you still haven't apologized to her? It's been nine months since that happened."

"I said I was going to get around to it, and I finally had," Burke replied. Kaji could only shake his head while Misato laid a hand on Burke's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," she said to him. "You deserve to be Shinji's guardian. So please, continue with that role. It's something I can no longer do. He might be glad to see you." Burke gave a slight squeeze of Misato's hand with his own.

"Thanks," he replied. "And as his guardian, I am wondering if you'll take the time to see him?" Misato took a sharp breath before answering.

"I'll try…that's the best I can say right now." Burke nodded in understanding as she turned towards Kaji. "Unless there is anything else Commander, I'll be on my way. I will be discussing with you necessary launch information latter this evening." The two men watched her leave, and once the door was closed, they turned back towards each other.

"She's still conflicted, isn't she?" Kaji asked.

"Seems that way," Burke answered. "So, where to we go from here? I mean, we don't know if Shinji is going to be all right or not?"

"For the moment, nothing, but I have a feeling we'll be able to proceed with Phase II in short order." Burke looked at his superior with an incredulous look on his face.

"You still think we can go on?" he asked. "You may not have heard me a few minutes ago, but I'm not sure if Shinji still wants to kill himself when he wakes up. What makes you think he'll be all hunky dory?"

"The people who are watching over him," Kaji replied. "Sometimes, one night is all it takes."

"Look, I'm still backing the plan, don't get me wrong, but I feel that you are being a bit over optimistic on our prospects right now."

"Well, telling Shinji was a major obstacle that had to be cleared, that was part of the process," Kaji said as he looked out of the window. "The problem was in the way he was told." Kaji stopped talking for a few seconds before he started again. "We'll need to find out why Akagi did it," he said. "There's a part of me that's not buying the answer she gave you."

"Right," Burke replied.

"Besides, it's always a good idea to be optimistic, even if the odds are against you. Nerv is keeping to their plans, we have to keep to ours," Kaji added

"Understood, but with they way things are though, it makes me wonder if we can even out play Gendo Ikari. It's like…how can I say this?"

"Like he's playing chess and and we're playing checkers," Kaji turned towards him.

"Worse," Burke stated. "It's like he's playing that 3D chess you see on Star Trek and we're playing Hungry Hungry Hippos." Kaji chuckled a bit at the analogy as he strode up to Burke.

"Our analysis shows that Gendo has no more use for him. That could become the man's Achilles heel," he said.

"If he doesn't have to stay in the psychiatric ward," Burke stated, "but I must have hope now do I?" he finished his Scotch and gave the glass to Kaji. "I'll be heading home. Keep me informed of Shinji's condition, no matter how minor. It's going to be real quiet at home." He said that last part to himself than to Kaji as he waved and left the office.

Shinji woke up once again to an unfamiliar ceiling, but just because it was unfamiliar didn't mean it was unrecognizable. Even in the dark, he could tell by the light fixture and the smell of the place that he was in a hospital room. The events of the day came back to him in a torrent. He hoped that maybe it was all a dream, that he just tripped somewhere and got injured, or even better, that he was in Tokyo 3 after some angel attack and none of it, the Wunder, New Constantinople, ever happened. That hope was soon crushed when he tried to lift his left arm, but could only move it a little before it was stopped, hearing the jingle of a chain as he did so. He turned his head to see that his wrist has a restraint on it attached to a chain to the bed railing. Shinji tried to move his right arm to confirm and got the same result, he didn't need to look at it.

"I see," he muttered to himself in resignation. He relaxed and stared up at the ceiling wondering how much of his useless life it would take before he drifted off to sleep. A familiar voice made sure he wouldn't.

"Looks like you're awake." Shinji turned to his right and saw Asuka sitting in a chair. The glow from the collected lights of the city illuminated her and good eye. Shinji thought he saw a pale blue light where her eye patch was, but he dismissed the idea, assuming he was seeing things. The light, however, didn't show the rest of her face, so he didn't know what emotion she was projecting at the moment, whether it was anger, joy or even sadness. It could even be all three at once.

"It's you," he said to her. She said nothing to him in reply, but continued to look at him. Of course, she wouldn't want to talk to him, he wasn't worth talking to. After a minute or so, Asuka began to remove his restraints.

"Wha-What are you doing?" Shinji blurted out.

"Move over," she said as as she leaned over to remove the other restraint.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's pretty late to go back, so I'm sleeping here. Now move over." Shinji did as she asked, and heard Asuka get into bed right beside him, throwing one of her arms over him. For a few minutes it was quiet. Shinji remembered that time she came into his room at Misato's apartment. Like then, he could hear her breathing and feel the warmth from her body. He thought that he would be able to get back to sleep, but he hadn't closed his eyes for ten seconds when Asuka spoke again.

"Shinji."

"…Yeah?"

"Why did you do it?" Shinji remained silent for thirty seconds trying to put into words his reasoning. He concluded that she probably didn't want a long answer, so he said a brief words, which summed up his feelings the best.

"There was no reason not to." To his surprise, Asuka didn't yell at him. She snickered at his answer.

"Just when I thought that the furtherest depths of your idiocy have been reached, I find there is more to go. That's sort of impressive in its own fucked up way."

"Well, why should I live?" he retorted. "I don't see a damn reason why I should, me and my kind," he still couldn't get used to the concept, "we have caused nothing but misery. Better to end it and save the world the trouble."

"So, you're going to throw everything you have gained away?" Asuka asked.

"What exactly did I gain?"

"What about those kids that are at the daycare center? Wasn't there some little girl that liked you?"

"You mean that girl that kicked you in the shin?"

"Yeah, yeah, that girl who-never mind that part!"

"Her name is Akane," Shinji stated.

"Akane…" Asuka said. "Nice name for her."

"She's a lot like you," Shinji replied. "She's really bossy and can order some older kids around."

"I like her already," Asuka said. "So…were you just going to abandon her?" Shinji's entire body stiffened at that question. Abandon her, just like his, for lack of a better word, father?

"She has a family," Shinji answered. "There are people who care for her. Besides, if she ever found out what I am, she'll hate me, think that I'm some sort of monster. She'd probably be right."

"Knowing her, she'd probably think that would be cool," Asuka countered. "There are tons of kid's stories where the kid and a monster are friends, but I think she would still see you as he one who she has tea parties with."

"Maybe…" Shinji said. "But still, I'm not human. I shouldn't be in this world. I can never be just like anyone else."

"Big whoop," Asuka declared. "I'm not human either." Shinji turned his head back towards her, thinking he didn't hear her correctly.

"You? Really? Then how are you able to—"

"I wasn't engineered like you," she interrupted him. "I was human when we first met all those years ago. The ninth angel changed all that." Shinji's eyes widened as horrible memories of that day resurfaced.

"I'm sorry," he creaked out. "I didn't want to hurt you, but there was some system that took control away from me. That's why I—"

"I know about the dummy plugs," she interrupted him again. "I know that you meant well, but you could have tried to stop it on your own."

"Burke said the same thing," Shinji replied. "That's why I tried to save Ayanami. I failed once, I didn't want to fail again." He prepared himself for a verbal onslaught from Asuka, but he heard nothing. He thought for a second that she had fallen asleep, but she then spoke again.

"Look at me."

"Huh?"

"I said look at me, damn it." Shinji turned over and faced her. He still had no clear picture of her face, so he was unsure what her emotions were. He was about to say something when in one swift motion, Asuka grabbed his left hand, and shoved it under her shirt, placing it on her abdomen. Shinji at that moment was glad that it was dark as he didn't want her to see how beet red he was. Why would she do such a thing?

"Feel around," she told him, "and if you go too far north or south, you're losing that hand." From side to side, Shinji began to feel around. He took notice of the smoothness of her skin, and how well toned the muscles underneath were. Despite her warning, he couldn't help but feel a little turned on by the whole matter. He then noticed that the feel of her skin had changed. It seemed tougher, as if it was massed together. It felt that way as he moved his hand across before the texture returned to normal.

"Weird," was all Shinji said as he removed his hand from her shirt.

"What you felt was the scar tissue from my injuries at that time," she said. Shinji froze. It was his fault that she had those scars.

"I told you I couldn't stop it. I-"

"I already said I know!" Asuka cut him off. "I did blame you for it until I heard the whole story. I don't now." Then why did she punch the glass wall on the Wunder, Shinji wondered to himself as she continued her story.

"After you were absorbed into Unit 01 and I was stable, I was moved to another Nerv facility where I was for a couple of months. They performed experiments…I…don't like to talk about it. It was Misato who rescued me. When she realized what they were doing to me, she had all the scientists responsible lined up against the wall and shot." Shinji wasn't sure if she could see him do it, but his mouth hung open a little in surprise.

"I was then moved to an aircraft carrier where the other Nerv personnel were bring held. That's when I met Makinami. She really helped me with some things…but don't tell that to her. I don't want to give that four-eyed crony even a smidgen of satisfaction." She paused for a few minutes trying to get her thoughts together before she went on. "You know, there was a wish I had, more like a little daydream, while I was at the lab. You were in Unit 01 and you were ripping the ceiling of my cell off to rescue me. They tried to stop you, but they couldn't, and you leveled the place, just to save me. Of course, you never did. Years and years passed, and you stayed in Unit 01, and the situation got worse…and then you had the nerve to come back now? That's what I was thinking when we met on the Wunder. But I guess things are they way things are. I'm not angry with you anymore. All of my anger went into that Plexiglas."

"Why are you telling me this?" Shinji asked.

"Because not only was I angry with all that had been done to me, I wanted to die as well," she answered. "I couldn't stand what I was. I begged Misato to put me out of my misery, but she refused. It was her and Mari, again don't tell her, that convinced me to live. They told me that as I was still alive, my life shouldn't be something that I could throw away, that I could find a place in this world… and I'm glad they did."

"Is that why you saved me?"

"Yeah," Asuka replied. "Is it weird for me to feel sympathy for you?"

"It is," Shinji answered. "We're completely different. Horrible things have happened to you. I did horrible things to you, to many people. If not me, then those like me. I don't deserve to live. I know my death wouldn't make everything all right, but it would give people peace of mind."

"The hell it does," Asuka declared. If your death would do that, why was the Vice-Commander and everyone else trying to convince you not to do it? Why would I risk my own neck to climb up onto that ledge to stop you?" Shinji didn't answer as he was unable to refute her words.

"Perhaps there are some in the know who are wary of you, but why should they matter? Do you want to get praise from everybody?"

"No," Shinji replied. "Just you, Misato, Ritsuko, even my fath-" he stopped. "No, he's not my father…what were all those years for?" He began to shake as he said those words. Asuka put her arms around him and brought him close to her.

"You're free of him now, you're free of him," she whispered as she stroked his hair. Soon, Shinji stopped shaking and calmed down, Asuka continuing to hold him. They remained silent for several minutes.

"Everyone knows all the work you did," She then said. "You fought for us, protected us. Now let us fight for you, protect you. You have a life you can go back to. The daycare center, your school, even the club you belong to."

"We're having a stargazing night in a couple of weeks," Shinji said.

"That's something to look forward to," Asuka declared. "The Wunder is leaving in several hours. It will be probably be a couple of months before we return to the city. I want to see you alive and well when I do. Will you be there when I return? I…would really like that."

"Will you come back alive too?" Shinji asked.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" she asked in mock indignation. "I'll rack up so many kills, you won't believe it. "I'll also get you a souvenir or two. So, is it a promise?" Several seconds passed.

"It's a promise," Shinji said. Asuka held him closer and they laid in bed on relative silence for several minutes.

"You're kind of like a big sister," Shinji said. Asuka's eye widened, but returned to normal.

"That's something I can live with," she said. "Now go to sleep little brother."

"Sure," Shinji soon drifted off to sleep, dozing lightly never entering the dream state. After a while, he felt Asuka get up and heard voices, he thought one was Mari and the other was Misato, but he wasn't sure. Not too long after that, he then thought he heard Mari singing.

In the early morning rain

With a dollar in my hand

With an aching in my heart

And my pockets full of sand

I'm a long ways from home

And I missed my loved one so

In the early morning rain

With no place to go.

In his half-awake, half-asleep state, Shinji could follow the tune and lyrics as she went on, admiring Mari's voice and how well she sang.

Out on runway number nine

Big seven o seven set to go

Well I'm stick here on the grass

Where the pavement never grows

Where the liquor tasted good

And all the women were fast

There, there she goes my friend

She's rolling down at last.

As he was listening, Shinji thought that there was something sad about the lyrics, even wondering why Mari would sing such a sad song.

Hear the mighty engines roar

See the silver wing on high

She's away and westward bound

Far above the clouds she'll fly

Where the morning rain don't fall

And the sun always shines

She'll be flying over my home

In about three hours time.

It then occurred to him that Mari could be sad herself What could she be sad about? Life seemed to be going well for her, and it looked like she enjoyed piloting the Eva. He just didn't understand.

This ol' airport's got me down

It's no damn good to me

And I'm stuck here on the ground

As cold and drunk as I could be

Can't jump a jet plane

Like you can a freight train

So I best be on my way

In the early morning rain.

Shinji thought it was ridiculous that she was singing about being stuck on the ground when she was the one who was going to be on the Wunder. He was the one on the ground. Then another thought came to him. Maybe his situation reminded her of that song. Could she perhaps be sad for him? If she had empathy for him, did that mean other people could as well, that he was worthy of it, even knowing what he actually was? The swirl of thoughts and emotions overwhelmed him and he drifted off into a deep sleep.

So I best be on my way

In the early morning rain.

Shinji dreamed what he thought later when he was awake a rather absurd dream. He was in the middle of the Antarctic with blowing snow all around him, though he didn't feel cold at all. He soon came upon a group of penguins, who moved aside as he walked through them. He approached what looked like a large throne only to find Pen Pen sitting upon it surrounded by a group of female penguins. He had no way to tell whether they were, but it felt as if they were. He appeared to Shinji as if he was a warrior king as there were several scars on his body. Pen Pen pointed to his left, and Shinji turned in that direction. He saw a column of bright light that appeared to be towering over them, and at the same time, also appeared to be hundreds of miles away. The light was calling to him, not with words, but with a will that was sprouting within him. Before he could question all of this, he woke up, not to the sight of the ceiling, but the window. The outside was a steel gray overcast and the window itself looked at as if it had a few spots of rain on it, bringing to mind the song that Mari sung. He sat up and looked around at the hospital bed, he was all alone. The door opened and a nurse stepped in. She then stopped and looked at Shinji.

"Who removed your restraints?" She asked.

"The person who was in here during the night," Shinji answered. "I won't do anything, I swear." The nurse had a suspicious look to her, making Shinji wish Sakura was here instead of her.

"I'll have the doctor see you right away," she said as she made her way to the phone. "And how are you feeling this morning?" Shinji told her what he truly felt.

"I feel hungry."

"I'll order some breakfast at the same time," she said as she picked up the receiver and began to dial. As she was making the call, Shinji heard two men, he didn't know if they were doctors or hospital workers, talking in the hallway as they were walking as their words became clearer as they got closer.

"Did you see that babe who was here earlier?" One of them said.

"You mean the one who was seeing the kid?" the other asked. "I heard that she's the captain of the Wunder."

"And she's fucking hot to boot," the first exclaimed.

"What the hell do you mean? She's got to be over forty."

"That doesn't mean she isn't bang-worthy." Shinji listened to their inane conversation as it drifted away from earshot. He smirked and laid back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. As he was looking up at it, he thought about what was above the ceiling. The answer, of course, was more rooms whether they were for patients or labs, or anything else a hospital needs. We then asked himself what would be above those rooms. The roof of the hospital. And above that? The sky, though it was cloudy that morning. What was above that? It was the stars he loved so much. Thinking about it that way, the ceiling became less an unfamiliar and became more of an old friend. And that reasoning gave Shinji a needed comfort, and even hope. Not just for the immediate future, but something that could last the rest of his life.