Michael was sitting alone at a table in the rebel base drinking something unusual for him, rum. Everyone noticed a change in Caboose's mental stability. He was becoming more grounded in reality, and his voice became much more mature. It was like hearing a Southern White James Earl Jones. The new Caboose surprised everyone, but no one knew exactly how that felt. And the only person that was ever really nice to him is dead. He hears her voice in his head quite alot, giving him advice and treating him like her own child which was something he appreciated.
"Hey guys, have you noticed that Caboose has been drinking alcohol more and more often?" Simmons asks everyone.
"In an addiction way or..." Grif asked.
"No, but he's been drinking the same brand of rum for the past few months. Almost like it's a daily routine." Simmons explained.
Everyone facepalmed.
"That's what an addiction is, dumbass." Grif said.
"No, he just drinks one a day and he's done. However, the way he's drinking is interesting." Simmons explains.
"How so?" Washington asks.
"He's drinking as if he wants to forget something or someone." Simmons explains further.
Everyone's eyes widen in surprise. Everyone hears the shattering of glass before Michael leaves the room. As Michael left, the Reds and Blues heard his heavy breathing. Michael slowly made his way toward the gym trying to control the burning rage inside him.
"I'll go make sure he does tear anyone apart like he did the tank." Tucker said with a heavy sigh.
When Michael got to the gym, he found that it was not as occupied as he thought It'd be. He spent the next few hours on his back bemching over 600 pounds. Every girl in the room orgasmed when they saw him do so with incredible ease. When every girl left, only a pair of twins came back.
Tucker was horrified. The man he believed was an idiot caused every woman in the room to orgasm simultaneously. To give you a clue as to why he was horrified, there were 50 girls in the room. Let that sink in for a moment. Michael J. Caboose managed to do what Tucker could never do.
When Washington walked into the room and saw Tucker's shamed expression.
"He got you too, huh?" Washington asked.
"What the hell dude!?! Are you gay!?!" Tucker shouted.
"No, I'm Bisexual. Although, when I go for guys, they have to have a feminine figure. Is that a problem?"
"N-No." Tucker said his voice laden with terror.
"Good. Now go wash up, you pissed and shit yourself." Washington said before Tucker ran off. "What a gullible idiot." Wash said before chuckling.
The twins watched Michael as he worked out. They were surprised that he could bench so much at one time. After an hour of they walked up to him nervously.
"Uh...Captain Caboose?" The older twin said nervously causing the platinum blond soldier to stop what he was doing, secure the bar, and remove the weights before placing them in a neat spot.
"What did you need, Dawn?" Michael asked.
"My sister and I have noticed that you seem a bit depressed with an emphasis on the word bit." Dawn replied.
"I know, but can we not talk about it out here?" Michael asked.
"Of course, just follow us." Dawn said with a smile.
"I'm gonna take a shower first." Michael said.
"Of course, would you like us to bring you some clothes?" Dawn asked.
"That would be nice. Could you get me a pair of blue boxers, a pair of blue sweatpants with a silver stripe going down each side, a blue t-shirt with the UNSC logo, and a pair of blue socks with silver four pointed stars on them?" Michael asked.
"Yes, sir!" Dawn asked.
Later
After Michael finished with his shower, the twins unsuspectedly walk in on him and see his 12 inch cock just hanging there like a stray noodle. Their eyes widen in shock as they grow silent in awe.
"Does this happen before you meet all of your boyfriends, Dawn?" Michael with a chuckle.
"No. You're just so..." Dawn began.
Random Human Colony
"Big hotdogs here! Come get your big hotdogs!" A vendor shouted.
On Chorus
"And your balls are so..." Dawn began.
A Different Random Human Colony
"Bulgy eye syndrome. It's an irreversible genetic mutation." A doctor explained to a patient.
On Chorus
"You want it?" Michael asked jokingly
"On my body? Oh no, it would kill me." Dawn said causing Michael to laugh.
"So...do you...uh...want to touch it?" Michael asked.
"Perv!" Dawn shouted playfully.
"I'm not perverted. I may not be an idiot anymore and can respond to own urges, but I'm not a pervert. I was raised in a Christian household with 17 sisters on Earth's moon. I have values. I just...lost them for a while." Michael says glumly.
"Sorry, Michael. Does the offer still stand?" Dawn asked.
"Yeah." Michael says innocently.
The twins walk up to Michael and fiddle with Michael's "toy" until he gives them a groan causing them to stop. They stand up and walk out before coming back in with Michael's clothes.
"Holy shit, you actually took the time to get everything I asked for?" Michael asks in joyful surprise.
"Yes...and cursing, huh?" Dawn asks.
"Hey, God doesn't have any problems with cursing. It's an expression of Human language." Michael explained.
"Alright. Oh, I've been meaning to ask you an important question." Dawn says in a warm tone.
"Oh. What did you need to ask me?" Michael asked.
"Would you like to go out with me?" Dawn asks.
"What are we, high schoolers?" Michael asks jokingly.
"Actually, yeah. I am." Dawn said with a seductive smile.
"Well, I've seen enough hentai to know where this is gonna go." Michael says with certainty.
"Hentai? Really?" Dawn asks with a warm smile.
"Hey, I was an Anime Enthusiast before...all this happened. The Human-Covenant War was still raging when I left, you know. I don't even know if my family is still alive or if they believe me to be dead." Michael said glumly.
"I see, so...yea or nay?" Dawn asked as her charming southern drawl quickly came out.
"Yea, and keep the accent. You should use it more often. It suits you." Michael said with a smile.
"So when should I come by?" Dawn asked.
"I'll come by and get you tomorrow at 7:00, and then we can watch some Hulu and chill." Michael said with a warm and endearing confidence.
"I'll be waiting. Don't be late." Dawn said with a smile before walking away.
"I'm open to threesome with you guys if you ever..." Dawn's twin sister, Midnight began.
"Come on, Midnight!" Dawn said.
"Alright! I'm coming!" Midnight said before bursting into a fit of giggles at her own humor.
When the twins leave, Michael turns to his AI chip. "Thanks, Mom."
"You're welcome, Kiddo." The AI said in Tex's voice.
