The drive to the hospital seemed the longer Spencer was ever taken. He had nothing else to do but hold her hand as his partner fought for her dear life. At least she was a strong fighter. He had a mantra that he kept repeating:" Please survive, I'll give you anything if you do. Please survive, I'll give you anything if you do." It gave him hope, he knew that it didn't mean anything, but at least it gave him hope.
During the ride, she coded, twice. When Spencer saw it the first time, he was so scared. They had made promises to each other: "Don't get killed." And one of them was actually failing to keep that.
Elise was a fighter though. They got into the hospital, and she was rushed into surgery. Spencer however was left to sit in the waiting room. It took 15 more minutes for the rest of the team to arrive.
"How is she? Any news?" Hotch sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Spencer tried to answer but no words came out of his mouth. Tears were running down his cheeks. "Oh, Spencer… She will make through it." He had a hopeful sound in his voice. "When did you eat last time?" He was more caring than usual, but Spencer liked that. Aaron had become kind of his and Elise's father figure. They both had bad childhoods, so having him comforting Spencer wasn't an unusual sight. To answer his boss's question, he just shrugged. How could he eat while the love of his love was battling for her dear life?
Prentiss sat herself down on the other side of Spencer. She tried to come up with something to cheer him up, but that just resulted in him sobbing on her shoulder.
"She coded during the ride here twice." Spencer whimpered, he looked so unsure of his life. The thought of Elise not making it through seemed to be an outcome. Spencer lifted his legs up on the most uncomfortable chair and buried his head on them. He didn't care how he looked now; he was just so scared.
"Oh no…" Emily scooted him closer to her and attempted a hug. "If someone gets through that, it's Elise." She tried to get her thoughts together and comfort him, but there was something that bothered her. What if? Maybe Elise couldn't make thought.
Rossi on the other hand was getting the kid something to eat. Because he knew that Elise would kill him if Spencer didn't eat at all on time like this. He managed to get a sandwich and a bottle of water from the hospital's cafeteria. It didn't look very good, but at least the kid should eat something. Rossi walked next to Hotch and just gave the food to him. No words were exchanged, but Aaron and Spencer knew that Rossi cared for him.
Eventually, Spencer managed to eat. His eyes were fixated on the OR doors the whole time. Just to be the first one to get any knowledge about Elise. The countless hours passed, and when the eighth one came to close, only Spencer and Aaron waited. A sound from the door got their attention.
"Family of Elise Freud?" It was clearly the surgeon that just operated on her. The duo got up and walked to the woman nodding helplessly.
"Yeah, that's us. Agent Hotchner, her boss. And he is Doctor Reid, her colleague, and boyfriend." Aaron opened his mouth knowing Spencer couldn't get any words out. "How is she?"
"She will make it through. The surgery was touch-and-go, and if I'm honest, if the bullet went through a few inches to another direction, we would be having a different kind of conversation." Spencer looked relieved. The surgeon kept talking: "We just moved Elise to the ICU, and she probably needs to stay there for a few days at least. We can go see her if you like to. But I must warn you, we are keeping her in a coma for those couple of days just to give her body more time to fight harder." Hotch nodded to her and then looked at Spencer.
"I told you that she is a fighter." Spencer had the smallest smile on his lips while the three of them walked to her room.
Elise looked helpless under all the tubes and wires. She had a ventilator to keep her breathing steady. They were planning to take it off after she wakes up, which he hoped was soon. Aaron waited by the door as Spencer walked in. The touch of her hand felt warm. But it let emotion from Spencer because he started sobbing again. His boss excused himself to the hallway to inform the rest of the team about Elise. Spencer instead, took his messenger bag by the door and started writing a letter, to his mom first and then for Elise. Just to get his thoughts out he started scribbling words out on the yellow-tinted pad.
Für Elise
I hate to see you like that. It hurts through my core to see you so vulnerable and broken, even though to my eyes: you look perfect. I want to be there for your recovery. No, I need to be there for you, my love. I already miss you despite being here only for an hour. My eyes are fixated on your chest, just to make myself see you breathing. Somehow my brains shut out all the beeps and all I can hear is your breaths.
I hope that you remember the first time we got out to dinner. It was after your fourth case in Montana. We both hated the cold weather, but somehow you seemed so warm. Your smile seemed so contagious, and I couldn't help myself to smile as well. Despite the freezing weather, your lips were warm. The kiss tasted sweet, coconutty.
After we had our second date I wrote to my mom: She is the girl I want to marry. I've never been so sure about a thing. I also suspect that Hotch knew about us way before we got a chance to talk to him.
He is also worried about you, typical to him, he doesn't say it out loud. I have known him long enough to recognize a worry in him. While I'm writing you this, his informing the others about you. Penelope is on the next flight here and so are Vicky and Klaus too. I should be calling Erica and Emelie, but I couldn't even talk to your parents, so Hotch is doing that. I'm afraid of how they will react. They can be so protective about you, especially your dad. Maybe I should learn a thing or two from him.
I miss you. Please wake up. I just wish it was me to get shot, not my maus. Your pain is my pain, and it hurts.
Yours Truly
Spencer
Her parents got in before Penelope did. Before Spencer got out a word. They invited him to a hug. The man tried to tell her parents how sorry he was, but no words got out, just tears. They felt liberating on his cheeks. The afraid feelings turned quickly to hope. All of them were so sure that Elise would pull through, so Spencer started telling them about the whole situation after the hug.
"When did you sleep last time Spencer?" Klaus asked from the rambling man. The question was surprising to him since Hotch and Rossi made sure he ate, but sleep was another topic.
"I'm not sure.." he answered her dad. While opening his mouth a slight yawn got out.
"And that tells me quite enough son, go to sleep." He assured him that they would keep her company. "If you can't go to the hotel, sleep at least here. You are no good at that shape to anyone."
Spencer nodded and thought that maybe a few hours of sleep wouldn't kill him. He ended up curled on the most uncomfortable-looking chair right next to Elise and it didn't even take two more minutes for him to sleep.
When Penelope finally got to the hospital, Spencer was still sound asleep. The stress had taken quite a toll on the man and he defiantly needed those hours. She managed to snap a picture of the sleeping couple before closing the door.
"How are they?" she asked Aaron who was coming from their hotel with a change of clothes to Spencer.
"She will live, it's Spencer who I'm worried for." He looked into the room from the window. "The kid is so worried for her." Penelope shared a compassioned look with her boss. She knew that Spencer wouldn't stop worrying until she at least would wake up from the coma. And god knows how many days will that take. Too many for anyone.
"I get him… She looks so vulnerable, but I'm sure she will make thought." She didn't get time to exchange any more words with his boss before an older-looking couple came back from the end of the hallway. They looked familiar to her but before even opening her mouth Aaron introduced them to her.
"Klaus, Vicky. This is Penelope Garcia, she is part of our team in FBI. Penelope, these are Klaus and Vicky, Elise's parents." Penelope looked surprising but she ended up opening her arms to a hug.
"Oh, it's nice to meet you. Shame it's in these conditions. Can I hug you guys?" The question was proposed as a formality when she almost ran to hug her good friend's parents. The hug was passionate. It took a few good seconds for them to get out of it but Penelope wasn't sorry for it. It was her way to show emotions.
"How are you? Is there anything we can do for you?" She bombarded them with so many questions that someone would say she was asking way too much.
"As long as Elise makes it through, we'll be just fine. I think Spencer is the one we should be worried about." Klaus shifted his glance from Penelope and Aaron to Spencer, who was still sleeping. "I think he blames himself for this." Aaron nodded to his observation.
"I'll talk to him." He looked at his subordinate with worry in his eyes and then decided to change the subject, not to any happier one but still change it. "Did you get a chance to talk to her doctor yet? How long are they keeping her in a coma?"
"They told us that at least a day more, then they'll stop the medication keeping her under, then its purely a waiting game to see how long it takes for her to wake up." Klaus had a hopeful look in his eyes. Maybe he knew that Elise would make a full recovery, even though it required a hell of a work.
Spence woke up to the safe sounds of beeps. He wasn't sure how many hours he managed to get, but he didn't feel as tired as before. He kept his eyes on Elise, whose rib cage was rising steadily as an indicator for her breathing. The brunette placed his hand on her hand and then stented a light squeeze to tell her that he would be here all the time.
Their intimate moment was disrupted by Aaron who opened the door slowly.
"How are you, Spencer?" He managed to ask him, clearly struggling with his words because of the sight in the room.
"I don't know what emotions to feel if I'm sure." He confessed to his father-figure."I've written her a letter earlier and that actually helped me to understand what to feel."
"Oh, Spencer." Aaron grabbed him to a tight hug. "That's understandable. I think you are brave for telling me that. Another letter might work." The look in his eyes told him an awful story. Spencer definitely struggled with guilt and similar issues.
"Yeah, I might as well keep writing them. How is everyone else? Did Emelie and Erica answer your calls?" he was eager to get any new knowledge about her sisters, so she wouldn't be alone.
"They will get here in a few days they told me." Aaron smiled at his questions. At least he didn't close himself into his own thoughts. And maybe another letter would keep him busy for another hour hopefully. Spencer nodded to his answer and crawled back to the chair.
"Wheres your notepad and pen?" Aaron asked him and then proceed to follow his directions to get him his pen and paper. Spencer mumbled out a thank you and started scribbling out a new letter. To Aaron the sight looked peaceful, he knew that Spencer was in pain, but writing out the feelings definitely was a good choice.
Für Elise
I love you. For some reason saying those three words bought me so much courage to be here with you.
Klaus and Vicki came as soon as you got to the ICU. I felt petrified to see them, maybe it was the guilt that I have because deep down my mind keeps telling me that this whole thing was my fault. Thank god I try to ignore it. In the end, they weren't mad at me on the contrary they were happy for me to be alive and with you.
I never thought knowing your feelings would be this hard. It took me a good few hours to recognize the guilt and even after that, it hurt. But I believe that you will survive. Even though I can read really fast, writing my feelings was never easy, it took me surprisingly long with the first one and this has been taking ever longer. Somehow I end up finding the right words.
God, I love you so much!
Yours Truly
Spencer
It took him longer than he would like, but nevertheless, he got out the words he needed. He slipped the letter on an ivory white envelope which read: 'Für Elise'. Spencer ended up placing it on the bedside table covered with flowers.
The days rolled out slowly. Elise was kept in the come for a total of four days and Spencer spent as much time he could next to her. Everyone else visited them, of course, thought the days, the only expectation was Aaron and Elise's parents who tried to spend as much time next to her as Spencer.
Aarons job was just to make sure that the boy was eating and sleeping. Also, Spencer started to talk to him. The first conversations weren't long but later on, they turned into hours. This was a healthy way for him to get to know his feelings. First, he told him about their first date, then he shared the first kiss and eventually their first night together. Spencer clearly looked tired and afraid for the future but maybe after Elise wakes up, things would start to look better.
After one more day, making the total of ICU days five, Elise finally opened her eyes. Spencer thought they haven't ever looked so beautiful. She panicked when she realized not being able to speak so Spencer talked to her. "Oh maus..." He swept her hair and told her not to panic.
"Honey, you are in the hospital. You got shot in the stomach nearly a week ago." After hearing Spencer's word for the first time, her panic subsidized a bit. He told her that a doctor would come soon to take the tube.
"She's awake!" He announced to her parents and Aaron who just happened to walk in. They all had smiles on their face.
