Inside Hell's Pass Hospital's Maternity Wing, all types of sounds could be heard. Pens tapping against clipboards, sneakers squeaking against the hospital's linoleum floors as anxious first time fathers paced in the halls and of course, crying red faced babies followed by tears from their thrilled mothers and family. What was unusual, however, was the deafening yelling coming from Room 315.
"What the fuck are you waiting for turd?! Get this thing out of me!" screamed a twenty something woman from her bed. The expectant mother annoyedly wiped strands of her long brown hair out of face, despite them continuing to stick to her clammy, sweat drenched skin.
"Calm down, Miss Marsh. Your cervix is only seven centimeters dilated. It should be no more than an hour before you're ready to start pushing," the ageing OB-GYN informed the young woman, the news only making her more exasperated.
"AUGH! Why is this happening to me?" Shelly Marsh groaned, repeating the same question she had been asking herself ever since she found out she was pregnant. The brunette could still remember the chilly November morning she walked to the pharmacy and purchased a pregnancy test. It had been three weeks since she and her boyfriend had attended a halloween party at one of the frats in her university and Aunt Flo had failed to make an appearance. Shelly had snuck out of her parents' home early that morning to avoid any questions about where she was going so early during her Thanksgiving break.
"I'll take one of these," Shelly muttered to the teen at the counter. The college senior dug her hands into her pockets and pretended to be looking at her shoes.
"Will that be all for today?"
"No… that's it," South Park's former fugly bitch responded before handing the guy fifteen bucks. When the brunette glanced at the young man for the first time, she noticed he had braces. This made her instinctively lick her now straight teeth before walking out of the store. At least she had one thing to be grateful about.
Back in the present, Shelly opened her eyes when she heard a soft knock on the door.
"Ugh, you can come in!" The hospital door swung open to reveal a middle aged woman who greatly resembled the pregnant woman wearing her signature brown shirt with red frills and blue jeans.
"How are you doing sweetie?"
"Hi Mom," Shelly tiredly responded, managing to give her a tired smile. Despite everything that Shelly had gone through over the years regarding her anger problems, non-existent confidence, and her jealousy over her parents' blatant favoritism towards the "turd," she was grateful for her mother's unrelenting support during her pregnancy.
"So, where's Dad and the turd?"
"They're in the waiting room and you should really stop calling your brother a turd. You're twenty two and about to become a mother, you can't act so childish anymore," Sharron chastised her adult daughter who merely sighed. As much as she didn't want to admit it, her mother was right. Stan had grown up a lot over the years, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. No longer was he the cry baby that she used to beat on whenever he pissed her off, but a level headed young man. Stan was the first one she told about her being pregnant that morning after the pink test produced a plus sign.
"Hey turd, wake up."
"Hmph, what is it Shelly," the high school senior wiped his drowsy eyes.
"I-I-I'm pregnant," Shelly struggled to get the words out.
"Huh?!"
"..."
"What do you mean? Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," she retorted, throwing the pregnancy test down onto his bed. The eighteen year old inspected the stick while his older sister cupped her face into her hands.
"Why is this happening to me? I'm always so careful…" Shelly mumbled under her breath, trying not to cry.
"What do you want to do, Shelly?" The woman lifted her head up and glanced at her brother. "I mean, you don't have to be a mom if you don't want to, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you did decide to keep it." The words rang inside Shelly's mind, realizing for the first time that she had options, but which one would be the right decision?
"Shelly? Shelly, are you okay?" Shelly snapped out of her daze when she felt her mom give her a nudge.
"The doctor is going to check your cervix in a few minutes to see if you've dilated since he last checked you."
"Hmph, fine," the brunette calmly replied. She just wanted to give birth as soon as possible and go home.
"Hello, hello," the elderly OB-GYN casually greeted the two women, one smiling and the other grimacing. "Let's see what's going on down there. Ah, there it is," the doctor cooed, catching the expectant mother's attention.
"What!? What do you see?"
"The baby's head of course," he casually answered, eliciting a reaction out of both mother and daughter.
"Does this mean she can start pushing soon, Dr. Conch?"
"That is correct, Mrs. Marsh." The doctor quickly signaled to his nursing assistants to get prepped for the delivery.
"Are you kidding me?! I can't give birth now," Shelly exclaimed. The doctor and nurses concerenly stared at the young woman, she looked like she was about to pass out.
"I'm sorry. I think she's nervous since the baby's father and his family haven't shown up" Sharron apologetically stated, rubbing her hyperventilating daughter's shoulder.
"We could wait a few more minutes, but any longer and the delivery will become a health risk," Dr. Conch cautiously advised.
"I'm going to try and call his mom's work. I called their house phone and nobody picked up," Sharron told her daughter before exiting the room into the hallway, leaving Shelly alone to panic.
"Damnit McCormick, you better show up," Shelly thought aloud, remembering back to when she told him about her pregnancy several months before.
"You're pregnant?"
"That's what I said, didn't I?" Shelly crossly replied to the young man sitting next to her in the busted red car on his parents' lawn.
"When did you find out?" The man asked whilst nervously running his fingers through his long, unkempt, light brown hair.
"Yesterday morning," she curtly answered before the pair sat there in silence, both unsure what to do next.
"Look Shelly, I can't promise that I will give you a nice house or anything like that. But, I will promise that I will always be there for you and our baby and that I will never stop trying to be a better father to my child than my Dad." Shelly gazed into her boyfriend's eyes, past all the cuts, bruises, and smudges of dirt and oil on his face, and saw there was truth in what he was saying. For the first time since she discovered she was pregnant, she felt hopeful.
"Thanks Kevin," Shelly expressed as her head nuzzled against his neck and the two embraced.
"Shelly, he's here!" Sharon announced, the Marsh woman briskly walking into the room, followed by a thin, average height man.
"What the hell took you so long," Shelly groaned whilst the nurses propped up her legs.
"Sorry beautiful, I was at work. That drunk piece of shit didn't hear the phone ring and I didn't find out till Kenny called me saying Stan told him you were in labor and that he and Karen were on the way."
"Kenny and Karen are in the waiting room and Carol went home to get Stuart," her mother added.
"Holy crap, will somebody please just get this kid out of me right now?"
"Alright Miss Marsh, I'm going to need you to start taking a series of deep breaths before pushing while holding your breath," Dr. Conch a disgruntled Shelly Marsh.
"It's okay sweetie, you'll be okay," Sharon's distorted voice traveled through her daughter's pounding head as she pushed.
"I love you Shelly," Kevin expressed, unsure whether the woman was paying attention amongst her breathing, her mom, and the doctor giving her commands.
During all the madness, the only thing Shelly could clearly hear was her own deafening heartbeat as the flushed, red faced woman screamed as her muscles propelled the baby out of her body. One whole body becoming two.
"It's a girl," the doctor announced, the squirming, gooey baby wailing in his arms.
"Oh my God, she's beautiful," Sharon began to cry upon seeing her granddaughter for the first time.
"She really is…" Kevin and Shelly remarked, the two in awe at what they had created together. The nurses wiped some of the amniotic fluid off of the child and swaddled her in a towel.
"Can-can I hold her?" Shelly asked. The nurse looked at the new mother and gave her a warm smile.
Of course." The nurse handed the infant over to her exhausted mother while both her grandmother and dad watched.
"Hi," Shelly sheepishly said, pressing the baby against her chest, the closest the two would ever physically get outside of the womb.
"Do you know what you are going to name her?" Sharron asked the young parents, breaking them from their trance.
"We did," Shelly affirmed.
"What is it?"
"Barbra McCormick, Barbie for short." Kevin cheerfully stated, whilst Shelly brushed her daughter's dark blonde hair from her face. While everyone talked and moved around Shelly, the only thing she cared about was the sleeping baby in her arms.
"You know kid," Shelly whispered into her daughter's ear, "I think we're going to be alright," she said. Barbie, however, didn't respond, blissfully sleeping through all the noises of the hospital.
Barbie and Ken, get it? No? I'll stop.
