"Eren."
It wasn't the first time a certain Titan shifter's name flew across her mind today, and she was positive that it wouldn't be the last. Usually it was quick, just a passing thought that would come and go like the wind. Barely staying long and giving her enough time to shake the thought clean away and focus on the task at hand. Whether that be her Queenly duties in long and drawn out metting's, or helping the kids in the orphanage till dusk.
But sometimes the thought would stay. His name sticking to her brain like glue refusing to go away for several minutes, sometimes even hours. During these times she would hope the sticky adhesive would eventually give away so she could get him to leave her, to let her mind go vacant with thoughts that weren't of him.
Because once she was aware of the name of him, she couldn't stop it no matter how hard she tried.
It had been some time since she had seen him last. They had returned from their venture of the land they called Paradis, witnessing the edge of their island past a glowing field of sand until the wind brought them to the sea that he and Armin had talked about countless of times before.
And that had already been several weeks ago and she wondered what it was that he was up to.
A sigh pushed past her lips at that thought making her tap her foot in annoyance at the idea.
Of course she knew what he was doing. She was the Queen, and he was a Titan shifter. Almost every time he left his house it was monitored and relayed back to her, along with the rest of the scouts but to a lesser extent. So she knew where he was at this very moment.
He was a few rooms down, having just finished a meeting with the higher ups and was currently mingling out in the lobby with their friends.
His name came and went again through her mind once more. Forcing her to get up from her seat to quell the thought and burn it from her mind. The chair squeaked against the newly polished floor making an unattractive screech ring through the air. If the sound bothered her she didn't show it, instead walking around her center table before grabbing the first brush she could find and feverishly began to unknot her hair.
The distraction proved futile as whenever she would let the bristles hit her scalp it would send small bolts of electricity to dance across her skin like a ballerina. An all too familiar feeling that she hasn't felt since Eren touched his lips to her hand all those weeks ago.
As soon as his lips made contact she knew something was up with the brown haired Titan they now called a hero. She saw it in his face as he pulled away. Fear, regret, guilt. It piled up until he could no longer breathe. He was left gasping, mouth open like he was shell shocked with her tiny hand clasped in his. Her pinky grazed the bottom of his wrist and she swore she didn't feel a pulse for several seconds. But she didn't freak out then, even if his heart wasn't beating she could see it in his eyes that he was alive. It brought her a strange comfort in seeing the way his eyes looked back up to hers after she had said his name then. The foreign color of his eyes returned to normal, flashing green thanks to the light. Then blue after looking into her very own as the fear stricken face started to fall off his features.
Then finally reverting back to their monochromatic grey that she was used to seeing since their days as cadets. Looking at her like she was the last glass of water in a dehydrated world.
He pulled his hand away from hers after that. Pointedly looking away before she could even have thought about what that look meant, she almost missed the apology that broke past his lips in a low mumble. Instinctively she brought the hand that he had kissed to her chest, her other grazing the spot that his lips were just planted on. Still feeling the bolt of lighting that singed her skin and unable to comprehend fully of what just happened between her, now closest friend.
She wasn't sure if Eren had known that she felt something at that time too. No memories unlocked themselves for her, if she even had any more to see at this point. But the feeling she got was different than anything she has ever felt before.
It was like…
She shook her head at the thought, shaking away the memory as a delectable flush spread itself down her cheeks and ending right before her neck.
Slamming her brush down onto her dresser she swiftly walked towards her door. Uncertainty sewed itself within every step she took. The closer she got to the door she could feel the invisible sewing needle stitch her Queenly robes to her body. The usually soft silk that she despised had started to feel like prickly cotton as she struggled to breathe, feeling like she was getting strangled by the cloth of her clothes. She refused to gasp at the sensation of being suffocated by the thread of trepidation. Knowing that if she did, if she let the cloth win then she would go on from here living her life selflessly. Just like Krista did.
But even the sublime, intoxicating feeling of blissful ignorance could not stop her barbaric need to lay her gaze on kaleidoscopic eyes that looked at her like she was just another girl. She wasn't a Queen in his eyes, she wasn't special to him, and he didn't expect her to be.
And she craved that feeling.
The thread could rip her head off for all she cared.
She truly was the worst girl in the world.
"Historia."
Her name felt like satin as it twirled in his head, like it was poetry that he couldn't, or wouldn't ever stop reading. Just her name was enough to calm his nerves whenever they would appear taunting him with memories of the past, and future. The soft celestial melody of the Pied Piper's flute carried itself between the paths and towards their destination, their coordinate. Once the melody reached his ears he was assaulted on every level internally, and externally. The song reminded him that he wasn't just some incredibly lucky kid from Shinganshina who could transform at will into a murderous Titan to save all his friends, and quite possibly the world.
No, he was Grisha Yeager; his very own father who killed the Royal Reiss family and gave him Titan powers.
He was Eren Kruger; the Owl and part of the restorationists to overthrow Marley.
He was Frieda Reiss; the Founding Titan who refused to halt the attack on humanity within the walls.
His mind was a mess, everyday he woke up he was attacked with memories of the past and what he had done. Sometimes he was cutting off fingers of fellow patriots on the mainland of Marley as Eren Kruger.
Or he woke up screaming as he recalled how his sister-his aunt Faya was mauled by dogs by a fat, washed up Marleyan pig who enjoyed killing, thanks to his own father Grisha Yeager.
Or woken up with such guilt as he looked through the eyes of Frieda Reiss as she took Historia's memories away from her. Making the young blonde bundle of joy forget all about her sister and take away the only thing that Historia truly cared about.
"Historia."
Her name flashed once again past his eyes, recognition shining in his irises washing away the remnants of his heterochromia. His grey eyes were blinking themselves back into existence slowly. The angelic music that seemed so delightful at first now sounded vacant. Bare of any feelings except of an uninhabitable imitation of a happy future.
Yet thanks to her, the girl who unknowingly saved him was the only thing that kept him grounded to this hell. Even if she didn't know it, and of course she couldn't possibly know it, but whenever her name would leave his lips or glide across his mind like a faint breeze it would bring him back to remind him why he was here, why he was charging forward into hell.
She reminded him that he wasn't Grisha, he wasn't Kruger or Frieda.
She wouldn't ever forget that he was Eren Yeager, and that the memories he shared with her were entirely his own and no one else's.
"Kruger? Kruger, what's wrong?"
Blinking at the familiar, supportive voice that reached his ears Eren turned his head to the side. Looking into Mikasa's concerned gaze as she stared at him. Eren blinked again, finally noticing that it wasn't just Mikasa who was staring at him. But now their tiny group consisting of Armin, Jean were looking at him with a similar expression. Their talking having been interrupted thanks to him zoning out on them once again.
"Nothing, I'm fine."
Mikasa frowned at him, noticing that Armin was also looking at him with uncertainty at his response.
He wanted to sigh and just walk away from them like he had been doing for quite sometime now. From just their looks he could see that they were looking at him like he was a different person. The gleam of suspicion and concern about who he was would overshadow their eyes whenever they looked at him.
And he hated it.
But they would never understand.
They haven't seen what he has. Haven't done what he has.
They would lie to him. Tell him that they understood him without knowing even half of the full story. They would chalk it up to him going through a phase, that anytime now he would bounce back to his suicidal manic self who screamed of eradicating the titans off this earth.
But that had been months ago.
And he wasn't sure if he wanted to get rid of the Titans anymore.
And that thought terrified him.
"Are you sure?" Armin spoke up from his spot next to Jean, his eyes narrowed in thought towards the brunette in question. Eren had to fight off the urge to fidget uncomfortable at the sight of such scrutiny. "You've been acting strange these past few months. We just wanna make sure you're alright."
"I said I'm fine. Don't worry about it." Usually these words would have been spoken with a deep scowl etched into his face, annoyance burning in his gaze making everyone, except a select few (Mikasa and Levi) flinch slightly at the heat.
But now the words were spoken with barely any thought. His voice sometimes would sound dead when he replied.
Averting his gaze awkwardly from his blonde best friend he passed Jeans eyes who were looking at him with a mixture of concern and annoyance. But that wasn't really a surprise, but the concern was nice to see.
His eyes drifted back over to Mikasa accidentally, her eyes burning holes into the side of his head. She was staring at him like she knew something was wrong, that something inside of him had changed.
She was right of course, but when she tried to get to the bottom of it he would lie to her again. And he will continue to do so until the truth is forced to come out.
"Ah yes hello Frieda? The Queen has requested your presence."
Eren felt his eyes go wide, a spark of electricity coursing through his veins making his blood feel like it was drowning in a frozen lake. It took all his willpower not to scream out as he snapped his head towards the unknown voice.
"W-what?"
Looking into the maid's green eyes seemed to sober him up a bit, seeing the older lady give an annoyed huff as she crossed her arms over her chest. Sighing, she repeated. "You're Eren Yeager right? Her Majesty had requested your presence in her chambers."
"Historia? She-"
Electricity sparked again, this time for a completely different reason as he stared up at the maid in apparent surprise. That surprise quickly turned into eagerness as he nodded, feeling the back of his ears go hot. Pushing past the maid he started to walk down the hallway, not even looking back towards his flabbergasted friends or shocked maid.
And if Eren noticed the way Armin's eyes narrowed even further, or the loud suspicious look coming from Mikasa he didn't say anything. His mind now only thinking of Historia, invaded with thoughts of her blonde hair and blue eyes that he hasn't stopped thinking about. Leisurely he wondered what kind of style her hair would be in. Has she taken off her crown, hair tied up in that overly fancy bun in the back to keep it from falling into her back.
Or was it hanging freely off her shoulders. Perfectly straight with no signs of miss-care or tangles anywhere in her golden valley.
"S-sir please wait! Let me escort you to her ro-"
"No need, I know where it is."
At this point he could feel the gazes of his comrades burn themselves into the back of his skull, making his ears turn even redder as the heat started to spread down his neck. He gulps, nervousness and embarrassment would do him no good now.
He had a Queen waiting for him after all.
Mumbling to his friends he said he would be back later he turned a corner before finally disappearing down the castle's long corridors towards the Queens chambers. Leaving his group in stunned silence.
"Why would the Queen need to see Eren?" Jean asked, eyes flicking between Armin and Mikasa, his gaze staying on the raven haired beauty for a few seconds longer than necessary.
"I don't know." Mikasa spoke up, fully aware that the question was aimed towards Armin. "But it has to be why he's been avoiding me—I mean us all these months."
Her tone lacked emotion, but the two men beside her could easily pick up the soft trail of jealousy etched into her words as she spoke. She tried to hide it but even her usual dull eyes saddened considerably as she watched Eren turn the corner away from them.
Armin sighed, scratching his head as he stared down the hallway. "I'm sure it has something to do with his memories he's been getting from his dad. I wouldn't worry about it now, we can always ask him later." He said, putting a supportive hand onto Mikasa's shoulder and squeezing. The female hesitantly nodded back at him, not quite believing him but willingly to take the answer for now.
"I hope it is anyway." Armin said to himself, his own mind drifting to an entirely different blonde woman who couldn't move a muscle. "Eren. I hope you know what you're doing. Because if I think just a little too hard about your actions…our lives are only going to get harder."
Standing outside her door was one thing, but finding the courage to knock was another. Eren stood silently watching the pristinely crafted wooden door with a look that was almost impossible to understand. On either side of him stood two veteran MP's who he had never seen before, or seen yet to be more accurate.
One of them, the male looked at him in curiosity. Probably wondering why he chose to stand outside of Her Majesty's quarters without even bothering with a knock.
The other guard, the female, looked at him with uncontainable suspicion that it made the hairs on the back of his neck stick up fully. He understood why he was getting that kind of treatment, so he didn't let it bother him too much. Knowing that not just anyone gets summoned to the Queen's bedroom by a personal request. Actually thinking back he wasn't sure if anyone of the scouts, or in general had ever stepped foot in this room besides Historia, and her helpers.
But was Eren Yeager really just anyone?
He prayed he wasn't.
Gulping, he tried to steel his expression to something that looked more natural, more relaxed.
…but maybe he looked too relaxed?
Was it obvious that he was trying to calm the growing nerves that sprouted in his stomach? That all he could think about was seeing her eyes that shined like polished Ice Burst stone that would sometimes leave him breathless like he was running out of gas on his ODM gear?
"Hey Grisha, you alright?"
Eren flinched, eyes wide once again as he looked towards the guard on his right. Luckily it was the male MP so it helped calm some of his anxiety.
"What?"
The MP rolled his eyes, "Damn Yeager open your ears and hurry and get in there. She's expecting you."
"N-no I mean-never mind." Eren said, shaking his head clear of his thoughts.
Turning back to the guard he put his hands in his pockets to help hide how sweaty and clammy they had gotten. "Can you-can you actually let her know I'm here? I don't want to intrude."
"But she asked to see—never mind, yeah sure."
The MP sighed, regret shining on his face clear as day and Eren swore he saw the female guard grin towards her friend in amusement.
Knocking on the door the guard opened it until a king sliver of light poked through the smallest opening. Not wide enough to disturb the Queen's privacy, but just the right amount for her to hear whatever it was they had to tell her.
At this point Eren was wondering if she could hear anything through the closed door. It didn't look very thick to begin with.
"Your Majesty-"
"Oh Is Eren here? Please send him in!"
"Historia."
Like his Titan body healing after a rough injury, it had felt like his whole body erupted into steam at the sound of her voice. Face immediately flushing, he ignored the guard's annoyed face as he huffed again. The guard stepped back, using his head and nodding in the direction of her door, not even caring to give a verbal response in return.
Without bothering to respond himself Eren quickly walked through the door before gently closing it behind him.
Immediately Eren was invaded by the sweet scent of bread wafting through the air encircling around him. The smell was so strong it felt like he could taste the sweet delicacy if he focused hard enough.
It was pleasant.
"Eren!"
"H-historia!"
He yelled, surprise evident on his face as he took a step back in shock. Blushing as he looked at the gorgeous girl in front of him. Eyes as blue as the sky looking at him making him feel like he was free falling. She was directly in front of him, bouncing on the balls of her feet to her tiptoes to get a better look at her Titan shifter. In a passing thought he let his eyes kiss themselves over her body, he noted that her hair was in fact hanging off her shoulders fully straight and combed to perfection.
Resisting the urge to reach out and see if her hair was as soft as it looked, he leaned a little further away from her. Dropping down onto the floor to kneel, making sure to keep his gaze locked onto the shiny tile beneath him.
"You requested my presence, Your Majesty?"
No matter how hard Eren tried he just couldn't keep the inflection of his voice free from his words, sounding almost like a robot reading a script printed onto the floor.
Way to keep it natural.
Eren realized a little too late that staring at the freshly polished tile was a grave mistake. His eyes instantly honed in and onto Historia's own reflection, her bottom lip protruding in a cute pout with her eyes looking at him in small contained amusement. Eren flushed again, feeling the heat spread further down his neck until his very chest started to swell from the feeling. His mind automatically thinking of ways to remove that adorable pout from her face, lips still shiny with saliva like condensation that almost made him jump and do something he might regret.
Historia bent down in front of him. Tucking her knees under her gown until she was seated on her legs. Eren raised his head instinctively to her at the movement, still in his kneeling position as they sat face to face with one another. The pout was gone from her face and an unknown emotion fluttered across her eyes, something Eren had never seen before and too afraid to ask what it was.
Then hands met his cheek, her touch cold and uneasy against his burning body that he almost jumped back bashfully. And he would have if it was anyone else, but one peak into those blue eyes made him reconsider. So he let it happen. Letting Historia's freezing touch glide itself across his skin, shivering every few seconds until she started going down a different path. Trailing her hands from his cheeks down to the back of his neck.
"Your hair." Her voice was a whisper, hesitating somewhat as she ran her fingers through the brown locks that covered his nape. Making him shiver for an entirely different reason, "it's gotten longer."
She didn't look him in the eyes the entire time she played with his hair. Only tightening her grip on his hair as her open palms kissed the back of his neck, heartened by just knowing that he was right in front of her.
"…you think so?" Eren asked, eyes moving to try and get a look at the back of his neck even though he knew it was impossible to do. "I haven't felt like cutting it."
"I like it." She admitted, finally letting her eyes lift up to stare into his, thankfully, natural grey that she loved seeing. "You should let it grow longer." Her hands then moved away from his nape and forward till her nails dragged themselves individually across his neck. Eren shuddered, his body growing hot as Historia's forehead came into contact with his. Both feeling a shock of electricity.
"You know how much I hate it when you call me your Majesty right?"
Thankful for the change of topic Eren chuckled before nodding his head. "Yeah, I do."
His answer was short and simple, something Historia was more than happy to accept even though she did find it annoying when he called her 'Your Majesty' or 'Queen'.
"But to be honest it's pretty ironic." She said, pushing her forehead deeper into his as she let her eyes close. Wafting Eren's scent as her body instantly relaxed at his familiar smell of wood and fiber, and something that was unique to Eren, and Eren only.
"You're the only one who ever calls me by my real name anymore. Everyone always calls me that stupid title nowadays."
Eren felt his own body relax as he slowly brought one of his hands up and tucked it underneath her hair. Palm resting on her lower back as she dipped her head from his own to rest in the crook of his neck, inhaling the even stronger scent that lingered in her position.
His voice was breathy as he responded. "How's that ironic?"
"Because I know they don't believe in me running things around her. No one does. Not the MP's, not Zachary and the higher ups. Not even the Scouts do. I know Armin and Hange always discuss things behind my back without my permission, doing things they think is necessary because they know, and we all know it is." She paused, just now realizing that she had moved from the floor and was now seated draped across Eren's lap. Her legs trapping him beneath her with his back fully flushed against her bedroom door. Something a Queen should never do.
Oh well.
"But still they call me by that title that means absolutely nothing. But you." She said, hand pushing up and trailing his impressive jawline that has filled out in the last few months. "Even though you believe that I can be Queen, you don't look at me like some scapegoat for Paradis. You see me as Historia."
"I do." He answered back without hesitation. His own hand running circles on her back as his thumb played with the loose fabric. She welcomed his touch, a pleasant hum pushing past her lips.
"I know you do. And I thank you for it."
She went silent again, opening her eyes slightly to see that Eren turned to look at her, his eyebrow raised in confusion. "Is something wrong?" he asked.
Historia hummed again as her unwavering eyes gazed into his own. Every once and while her eyes would fall from his eyes to his lips before going to his eyes in a matter of seconds. He found his grip on her back tighten as it fell to her hips, keeping her nestled into his lap. He couldn't help it as his eyes wandered towards her lower half, mesmerized by the way her gown rode up her legs showing more of the porcelain skin of her thighs. His gaze seemed to have affected Historia as Eren had to fight back a groan as he watched her bottom lip trap itself under her teeth. Biting down hard enough that he could see a faint scent of liquid copper that sent the Titan side of him railing.
Historia has always been a selfish girl. Even when she was disguised as the goody two-shoes who went by the name of Krista, she had always been selfish. That growing need to show the people around her, to show her own father that she can be liked and respected with no trouble. The need grew strong and before she knew it, she killed off Historia once the first wall fell all those years ago when the Colossal Titan; or Bertholdt more specially kicked it open. Everything she did back then was to appease the people around her to make herself look like a good person. Every little selfless act and lie she told and did was only to feed selfish desire that marinated her soul.
And it worked, until Ymir came into her life, and then Eren who threw it for a loop.
"Eren, I love you."
Historia, being as selfish as she was, didn't care to let Eren's shocked expression deter her as she let her lips descend onto his. She felt herself melt as their lips meshed against one another and she was overjoyed when she felt no resistance from the man below her. Instead he responded with an eagerness she should have expected since he didn't throw her off his lap since she climbed on.
Eren allowed his mouth to explore hers, using his tongue to sweep across her bottom lip earning a delicious moan from the Queen before she opened her mouth to let him in.
Hands tangling themselves in his hair she forced his body to come closer to hers. His chest flushed against hers with no space in between them as their tongues battled one another. Eren would grunt when she would bite down on his lip making Historia bubble up with need as she pushed him further against the door. Pulling on his hair making his gasp in what sounded like pleasure that made Historia clench her thighs together.
A knock interrupted the two as they pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting their lips together, both gasping for air. Historia's eyes moved towards the door that Eren was still up against. Seeing that it was trying to be opened as the concerned voice of the female MP tried to pry open the door further.
"Your Majesty, is everything okay? We heard a bang and wanted to-"
"Y-yes yes everything is fine." Historia responded a little too quickly, still out of breath after the heated kiss. "P-please don't concern yourself with me. We're doing memory training so please leave us be."
"Memory training? But we heard a bang-"
"Just knocked a few things down by mistake, don't mind me please return to your post."
"A-alright Your Majesty…" the suspicion in her words was so thick that even a knife wouldn't be enough to cut through it as the guard slowly closed the door again, and Historia was quick to lock it.
Feeling a soft gust of air tickle her chin she looked down, seeing her hand clamped tightly around Eren so he couldn't speak during the ordeal as he looked up at her in amusement. Air exhaling out of his nose as her hand blocked the small chuckles that tried to free themselves.
It was her turn to blush as Eren stared at her, feeling his grin on her hands she glared down at him. "What? You find this funny?"
"Yourth theng kwon hoo ghut ontuop of meve in theg fwit phac."
Blinking, Historia tilted her head to the side, scrunching her eyebrows at the brunette who just rolled his eyes at her in return. Taking his hand off her back, which upsetted Historia greatly, he grabbed her hand around his mouth. "I said you're the one who got on top of me in the first place."
"I'm the Queen. I can do whatever I want."
"Especially tell someone that you love them?"
"Especially that."
Eren felt himself blink back in visible shock as he let Historia's words hang in the air between them. The blonde having moved back in her seated position, now putting space in between their bodies but still seated comfortably on his lap. He half expected her to take back what she said after they were interrupted, realizing that she probably didn't mean to say it. Or it was a spur of the moment decision that disguised itself as love.
"Well?"
Eren lost his smile as his eyes flashed green for a moment, looking up at the beautiful blonde who was peering down at her like prey hunting it's dinner.
"Well what?" Eren asked
"Do you love me?"
Eren sat silently, looking at Historia like she had gained a second head at not being aware of what she had just asked him, feeling his heart clench like a vice grip.
Why the hell didn't his memories show him this particular scene? Would have made this a whole lot easier.
Eren hesitated, his mouth set in a regretful line as he looked away from her. His hands moved away from her until they rested awkwardly on the tile floor. Nails digging themselves in the grout in apparent discomfort. He knew Historia could see it clear as day as his eyes looked everywhere but at her. Feeling his body tense while he sat under her, giving away his internal struggle as he tried to make out a single coherent thought in his mind. He wanted to say so much to her that his brain had shut down. He wanted to tell her the truth, the real truth that he had known for months now, probably years. Probably since the day that Armin showed him that book about the outside world.
She deserved it, she deserves the very best after everything she has been through. She deserved to be happy, just like all of his friends did. But unlike them she deserved the real truth of this world, to know where their sins have gotten them and will continue to do so until they can put their transgressions behind them; forever. No matter how much the real truth has blinded them all for so long.
That there was no truth to this whole thing.
It truly was disappointing.
Love someone inside the walls.
But he doesn't deserve it.
If you can't, we're doomed to repeat it all again.
Not the way he went about it, not by doing what he has to do. Something he wanted to do.
The same mistakes.
The same History.
"Historia."
Eren sighed her name out, bringing his knees up totally forgetting that she was seated on his lap. The Queen let out a soft yelp, feeling his knees push themselves up against her butt making her fall forward. Their bodies now completely flushed together once with their faces now mere inches apart. She could feel his breath tickle her chin as he breathed, her eyes locked onto his as they looked at one another. The wisps of her hair came down with a flourish, framing Eren's face with a golden curtain like he was watching a play he never wanted to end. The apples of her cheeks were stained red like glass as she waited patiently for him.
It seemed no natural for his hands to come up and brace themselves on her hips. It was so easy for her own fingers to play with his own hair as it fell to his shoulders. Running her hands through it as she moved in different directions, memorizing each inch like her life depended on it. He couldn't stop staring even if he knew it would kill him, feeling his heart drum against his chest as a few runaway strands of her own hair fell down her face. Her nose scrunching itself and Eren was certain she had never looked as beautiful as she did in that moment.
"I do."
Historia paused, hands stopping their adventure in his hair as she smiled down at him and Eren swore his heart had stopped beating as he looked at it. It was a smile he had only ever seen on her face one before, back at the cabin when he had told her that he never liked Christa. That she was just a normal girl just like everyone else. He left soon after saying those words, but something made him turn his head to look back at the blonde, a blush dusting his cheeks as he watched the happy smile erupt like a volcano on her face.
He never forgot what that smile looked like, doubt he ever could.
"Thank god." Historia sighed, laughing quietly to herself as her shoulders bounced jubilantly. "You were quiet for so long. I almost had a panic attack."
"Sorry." Eren chuckled, fingers brushing against her hips one by one making her hum happily. Her smile growing as she pulled him into her chest hugging his head tightly. "But Historia, you're the Queen of Paradis. Having a relationship with me…no one would agree."
No one would understand
"I don't really care." She said, pulling his head back to look him in the eyes. "My status as Queen is barely anything to begin with. So I go to meetings and what, sign some papers while they do everything else? It's a joke."
"Even if that is true, what about everyone else? What about-"
Leaning down she kissed him again, letting her lips linger on his before pulling away gingerly. Enjoying the way his eyes glazed thanks to the kiss. "You should know how selfish I am." She responded, their lips just barely touching as each breath she let out sent a shiver down Eren's spine. "I don't care what this means for Paradis. I don't care what Hange or Armin have to say about this being an 'inappropriate relationship' between the Queen and Titan shifter. I mean fuck, I don't even care that Mikasa is madly in love with you. I know it's selfish but." She stopped, head dipping until she pecked him again. And again, and again.
"I just want to be happy. Or at least, as happy I can be in this cruel world."
"Historia…"Eren said, his eyes sealing themselves in their normal grey as he blinked away a few stray tears of joy that wanted to fall down his cheeks. Her lips stayed longer on this time, letting the heat between them grow to unbearable levels as he swept his arms under her legs. Picking her up until her feet hung down his sides. She gasped into his mouth, a pleasurable vibration reverberating from her throat as her arms tried to wrap themselves around his head. Gripping his hair so tightly that it started to hurt, but he didn't mind the pain.
As they kissed Eren would slowly talk about everything he had been going through. His lips traveled to her neck as he talked about what he had seen, his memories, the things he had seen and done before being born as Eren Yeager. She indulged him, breathily provoking him to share his darkest secrets he promised to never tell a soul. She didn't emphasize with him, didn't try to understand what was going on in the confines of his mind as he talked about the future. Letting him ramble until no more words escaped him and they could share their since together.
As she yanked him to the bed, hand unbuckling his belt while his own slipped her gown down her shoulders he forgot all about the past lives he had lived before. Forgetting all the sins he will commit in the future, forgetting all about the lives he would be forced to, no, the lives he was willing to take.
He was reminded that in times like these he was just Eren Yeager.
Even though the outside world was disappointing, it was times like these that would make the outcome seem worth it.
All thanks to the worst girl in the world who had saved him that day, and continues to do so again and again.
