-0-0-0-chapter 2: Here be parrots-0-0-0-
Chakotay
I can see her on the comm, trying not to get uptight as the discussion is going badly with her mother. The way she holds herself stiffly erect, though trying to compensate with more relaxed arms and a smiling face. It doesn't fool either of us. Gretchen has been like a dog with a bone over this one, determined to keep Kathryn on planet, reluctant to let go, let Kathryn be who she is. The tension has been steadily building between the two women and jarred the last time we were out in Indiana with the family with the jagged undercurrents.
I do sympathise with Gretchen. She has lost Kathryn too many times to comfortably risk her again. Indeed Kathryn's last two missions have been perilous. A three-weeks mission turned into a seven-years ordeal, and a simple diplomatic mission where she beat death by a single breath. However, Kathryn lives in the stars rather than earthbound. You cannot fight her very nature, you cannot cage such a free spirit.
'Mom, it will just be a short visit, and yes, I know I have said that twice. This time I will have all my crew, and it is just a straightforward milk run of a mission.'
I see the placating look, the raised hand that says this decision is made and no longer up for discussion, the pinch on her nose as she realises this argument isn't going to be won, just a stalemate.
From over seven years of experience I know that this is the point where no further arguments are permissible. I know this is the point where I would leave the ready room with a semblance of agreement and then, when in the safety of my office, or turbolift, or anywhere unseen, I would punch the walls and curse the stubborn nature of the woman I was not only sworn to protect, but that I loved. Gretchen, however, is most definitely not in the chain of command, and recent experience and mothering instinct are warring with her Starfleet spousal knowledge that somethings just are.
I understand her misgivings, truly, but we are going to be back on Voyager. It is our home, our people, well a lot of them will be back, and we have proven our ability to survive within its confines . Even I am confident, and I have as much invested in Kathryn's safety. At this point I am not sure whether I am thinking of Voyager or Kathryn. Both are synonymous. I will be with her.
'Mom, honestly, this is not up for discussion,' Kathryn finally snaps.
'I will be on Voyager,. It is my home, it sheltered us for 7 years, 7 damned difficult years that we survived.'
She reins in her tone and voice, and tries for something gentler, pleading again for understanding, if not approval.
'I miss the joy of working as a team, facing and solving challenges. Oh damnit Mother, I miss the stars! This mission aims to be a training run for new ensigns and final year cadets. Safe as starbases! Chakotay and Tuvok will both be with me, making sure I can't get into trouble. Together they've always had me!'
I smirk at the congruence of our arguments.
'Mom, you know I have to be back out there whilst I still can. I'll be safe, I will pass all reckless ideas through Chakotay and Tuvok first.' She puts her best wheedling voice on.
I don't need to see the other side of the com screen though to know that Gretchen has the 'not buying it' pose that Kathryn has often modelled.
'Mom, you know I wouldn't risk this' and she places her hand protectively over her belly, and I realise that I am seeing Kathryn slowly being, if not outmanoeuvred, forced to review her decision again. Something unimaginable. I may also wish for Kathryn's safety above all else, but I also love her and need to support her needs.
Time for me to move in. I may not want Kathryn to risk herself, but I certainly want her to be confident in my support, my belief that this is safe.
I softly pad up behind her to slip my arms around her and nuzzle the back of her neck. She maintains her ramrod stiff pose for a short while before relaxing and I smile at an equally stiff Gretchen on the comm screen.
'Mom,' I power up those dimples 'trust me, this is my present and my future.' I give Kathryn another kiss whilst holding her possessively and then let my hand sneak down to cover hers, resting protectively over the swell of our child.
'If I can keep her safe in the Delta Quadrant ,' I ignore the snort and the gentle heel kick against my shin and drop another kiss onto the top of Kathryn's head,
'I am sure to remain on red alert and keep them both safe here. Besides, this is who she is, who *we* are,' I swiftly alter. I shrug with an apologetic smile.
I can feel from Kathryn's curling into my arms that I have said the right thing. Who knew that seven years of managing the Captain would prove to be such a useful apprenticeship to dealing with my wife. I grin with the joy of it.
Gretchen backs down. I can see from the slight slump in her body posture, in the very sight glistening from her blue grey eyes. She always understood this need of both her husband and her eldest daughter. I wish that she had a first officer to stand by her as well, to protect her and take her into their arms. I make a note to talk to Phoebe, Seven and Icheb. True to form though, she regroups and smiles.
'Dinner?'
-0-0-0-
Gretchen Janeway
I am busy putting together the very best dinner, well a feast, created for vegetarians in general and Chakotay in particular, when Icheb comms. He is a blessing of a boy and wanted to check I was okay as Voyager ships out tomorrow. He really is the delight of my life, there to support me when I need it without asking. It only takes a breath to invite him, and he grins that his Mom already has. He presumes I have enough for Seven, Phoebe and family? As I said, he is a blessing of a grandson.
Through the steam and smells of the kitchen, the everyday reassurance of the continuity of love as demonstrated by the making and sharing of food, I find my strength again. I know how Starfleet family works. I signed up for this, albeit with reluctance, when Ed swept me off my feet and I realised that I was always going to have to compromise, to share him with his other love.
My pride in Katie has always been tempered with the fear of losing her. I have had those solemn officers arrive at my door declaring loss and have survived. Although she has returned again, I can't help but think that each mission is a presage of loss. I think of the other mothers, spouses, siblings, children who are preparing for the next Voyager mission, almost certainly with the trepidation I feel, and I have a plan. I am always better when I can make a positive change for someone.
I am a woman of action.
'Elizabeth, can I speak to Owen please?' She looks slightly harassed and I can hear Klingon shouting and a baby wailing. 'Oh, Elizabeth! Like that for you too!' and we grin without words required. We are immersed in families we thought lost. Happiness is ours again. And yet, it is so fragile. She calls for Owen and he joins her.
'Owen, I think that we are all feeling challenged that Voyager is going on a mission.'
He starts to mutter something about Starfleet, duty, life of service, know what they are getting into etc etc, that they all had more time allocated for leave, as much as they wanted. I cannot bear to hear the same trite Starfleet mantra again and cut him off.
'Owen, dear, we know that's what they do. We, the families behind, need to do something to celebrate this too, to celebrate that we can let them go out to their destiny even though we want to keep them clutched safely to our hearts, at home.'
'Ok, Gretchen?' He is caught and interested, and even through his Starfleet waffle, I realise that he also shares my trepidation, that he too is reluctant to let go of his recently returned prodigal family and son. I bite back a smile. He is after all a proud man and an admiral.
'I was thinking a celebratory Pathfinder meal and evening when they arrive at DS9 and hand over Voyager. We can have a direct feed to part of the event? Something to celebrate that our hope and patience paid off? Celebrate that at last life really moves forwards? The Voyagers not going can join us. Something, well, BIG,Owen,' and I laugh.
'We haven't got much time to get the show on the road Gretchen,' he says dubiously,. A frown mars his usually jovial features. Elizabeth pushes him out of the comm.
'Owen, tush tush! Admirals wives can make this happen. Just give us a venue and catering. This absolutely what we need!'
And like that we are off!
I sign off, leaving Elizabeth thinking hard about our options. Time to enjoy this last evening with my family. Last for this leave, we will meet again in the future often for family meals, celebrations and joy. This is just the final meal of this transition.
Katie is a migrant bird made for exploration, and she is ready to fly again. Her wings are strong once more and she is going to soar in the thermals.
This is a good thing. A very good thing. I am doing my best. Deep breath, tuck and roll Janeway!
-0-0-0-
Icheb
I would never have imagined family life to be so wonderful. I sit at the big oak table in Grams kitchen with her on one side and little Katelyn on the other. Opposite Mom and Dad, who are scandalising Grams whilst showing off their juggling skills to the kids. Juggling newly baked bread rolls whilst the kids cheer and place bets on who can do tricks.
Clearly mom is going to rise to the challenge!
Grams says she will have their hides if they drop any, but I know Mom and Chakotay— after all I am still coming to terms with Dad!—could carry on for hours. After all, they have thrown phasers, tricorders and who knows what else between them. Mom is a trajectory expert and Dad isn't a slouch either.
They finish to cheers and applause from everyone except Seven, who tries a tight smile. She is still not used to quite so much noise and exuberance, particularly from Mom. She also struggles with food being anything other than nutrition. I know that when she eats alone she mostly eats a variety of protein and nutritious shakes. Grams smiles at her.
'Seven. Dearest, I kept a roll back for you' and Seven's smile becomes less forced.
'Kathryn! Chakotay! Stop showing off playing with the food and get your backsides back on a chair!' and they both pretend to look abashed as they bring the rest of the food to the table and sit down. A conspirator's grin passes between them. I am hard pressed not to laugh.
Soon we are all tucking in to a cornucopia of grams best cooking. Mmmm chicken paprikash, certainly one of my favourites. Neelix's cooking has left me with a taste for spice.
Katelyn is giggling beside me and whispers to me 'I love Aunty Katie, she is sooo naughty!' and I just have to laugh out loud at that. The Captain, naughty! Not something we would ever have considered on Voyager.
Very few of us got to see anything but flashes of the person behind the Captain. Yes, occasionally we saw her wicked sense of humour, and her jokes and pranks were one of the joys of the journey when they sporadically occurred. Actually, perhaps we did all know this side of her existed. There was always uproar when 'coffeeaddict' posted 'mischief managed' on the scuttlebutt as the hunt was on to find out what she had done.
Sometimes these were small things that affected lots of people—like the cocktail umbrellas and twizzle sticks with hearts in all replicated cold drinks one day—a laughing morale boost. Sometimes they were more annoying, as with the colourful hologram parrots swooping around on the corridor outside engineering that repeated everything said at high volume until B'Elanna managed to find the Captain's code and reprogram them after failing to phaser them all. Seven had been most put out by the Captain shrieking with laughter - picked up and magnified by a dozen colourful birds.
This was the start of a merry, escalating, war went on between the Captain and her Chief Engineer, on and off,which ended when the Captain's replicator allegedly said 'you've had enough now Kathryn' when she ordered her umpteenth coffee of the day. Apparently this was 'going too far' and her executive officer was required to step into the breach.
'Icheb!' and I snap to as Seven is looking pointedly at me. Mom laughs again. I love her laughter.
'It's alright Icheb, Where were you?' and blushingly I admit I was with holographic parrots.
All eyes swivel to me and Mom giggles. Aunt Phoebe begs me to tell all. Between me, Mom, Chakotay and a very disapproving Seven, we tell the tale of the parrots, the phasering, the holosnow in the ready room, with appropriately decreased environmental temperature, the replicator in the Chief Engineer's office only offering Klingon food and swearing at anyone daring to order anything else—in Klingon, and then the lack of coffee in the ready room… As Mom has a knack of telling stories, with Chakotay weaving in commentary, all are soon hysterical.
Seven is still griping about it being inefficient and distracting. When Mom tries to show that it was a huge morale lift for the whole crew, and it would have stopped in an instant if we were required to respond to any emergency, Seven is still not mollified. I believe they may have had that same discussion a number of times.
Aunty Phoebs, who I adore, rolls her eyes and promises a crash course in humour is required. To a raised ocular implant response.
Katelyn and Paul are laughing and clapping 'more aunty Katie! We want parrots! Can we have parrots for Christmas?' and Mom laughs even more.
Chakotay glosses over the moment, and he and I roll other of the 'pranks' the coffeeaddict got up to, and then move over to her partner in crime 'goldenboy', we all knew as Tom's alter ego, though he never owned up.
Chakotay is busy describing one of his boxing bouts with the 'Feeble Weeble' and how he was getting more and more exhausted because no matter how hard he punched or tried, the damn man just wasn't going down. In fact, he realised, the man would start going down but would swing back up! He sensed a rat. We get the whole picture of a sweat drenched Chakotay going from puzzlement to suspicion and then stalking towards the holodeck consoleand finding the alteration to his programme with Tom's codes around it.
'It was da..arned clever' Chakotay growled to peals of laughter, luckily remembering the two childen present. 'Tom absolutely denied it was him, and said I had wronged him! As if!' and whilst most of us laugh, I notice Aunt Phoebe looking at Mom in a weird way, and Mom has her top lip sucked in and is looking in pain. I think she is trying very hard not to laugh.
'No way!' says Aunt Phoebe—'yes way!' Mom answers and they burst into further peals of laughter, clearly not directly related to Chakotay's story. Oh oh! He swivels around, and looking at his face, seeing that he is reassessing the situation, I also realise.
It was Mom!
He looks mock-menacingly at her, and she correctly assesses his mood and scampers out of her chair, running round the table to laugh at him from behind me and Grams.
'It was you!' he roars, chair crashing back as he rises. He would be terrifying if truly in anger, but we can also see the twinkle in his eye, and the intermittant appearance of dimple! he makes feints in either direction before they both circle the table so that he is now behind us. Katelyn and Paul are squealing with laughter, cheering them both on, whilst Grams is rolling her eyes.
'What about the shower?' Chakotay bellows. Her scrunched face as she tries not to laugh hysterically, tells us that was her prank too. 'I hardly dared have a water shower for three months!' he roars as they circle the table again. 'The temperature would become icy, or it would smell of roses, Damnit kathryn! Your perfume!'
he growls again as he charges at her on a straight.
'once it even made me damned glow in the dark! Tuvok used me as bait in an exercise!'
Mom is laughing so hard at the memory that her legs fail her, and Chakotay swoops in and picks her up and hoists her over his shoulder.
'Gretchen, what is your punishment regime? In my family it's a dunking in the lake for such heinous crimes!' and he waggles his eyebrows.
Phoebe suggests the water butts in the garden might work, and as Kathryn squeals and sues for peace, kicking her legs out whilst he gives a mock wallop to her backside.
Katelyn and Paul sprint up to grab Chakotay. 'we'll save you Aunty Katie!' they chime. He allows himself to be mollified with a well acted show of great reluctance, placing her back on the ground, and Mom has to promise never ever to do anything like that again.
She has the angelic appearance of her niece when promising not to sneak and eat the caramel brownies.
Grams settles us all back down again, and Chakotay leaves off his growling when Mom gives him a peck on the cheek. I wonder how much grief Tom had from Chakotay for all these mis-attributed crimes. It is clear that Mom is not at all sorry really.
'you are still in trouble' he mock grumbles at her, as she soothes him with protestations of love, a smattering of kisses and reminds him she is the mother of his child.
We all know that he is beat!
I clear the table and Grams brings desert. Cherry pie with ice-cream.
For a while there is the silence of appreciation.
This is family life! Laughing and being close, eating good food and knowing that together you make each other happy, that you are loved. I look at Seven, also smiling, and thank the stars that we came back to the Alpha Quadrant and both found a home among the sprawling Janeway family. That I have learnt humour, laughter and such happiness, and Seven… well I think she has learned to tolerate humour and has definitely found happiness too among her new collective. We understand truly the value of what we have here. It is something that neither of us recall having before.
I think of my Borg-nearly family, a disparate group of immature drones who Seven attempted to build into a family. I am so grateful for her efforts, but we never could have recreated this without help, and we just didn't have this sense of laughter and joy. We struggled to move beyond the Borg conditioning of inefficiency versus excellence. I am sure Azan and Rebi found this laughter and love with their grandmother as she seemed a welcoming and loving woman, and I really hope Mezoti did too. I grin at Seven and mouth 'thank you' and realise she must have had similar thoughts as she just smiles back. We are home, truly home.
No wonder Mom had such a passion to get us all back here.
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Janeway
I can't quite believe that it has taken him this long to ask about the holo-emitters. I worried on Voyager whether anyone would make an exact count, well 'Lanna, Harry or Tuvok. Maybe Seven. Now, as we let ourselves back into the apartment, and I am still warmed by the glow of family laughter, no guard at all, he makes his move. Damned maquis tactics.
Chakotay had seen the plan to use the excess holo-emitters following the Hirogen mass increase: for engineering, the mess and the bridge, as a back up for the doctor to attend us in an emergency. In a fit of hubris, I placed holo-emitters along the corridors to these areas so the Doctor could walk with us and have more of a normal interaction with the crew. He took great joy in it but it is not those emitters that Chakotay is questioning me about.
Damned parrots! I should have known that they would eventually get me into trouble.
'Come on Kathryn, I can't believe I never asked where they all went! Did you?'
his eyes show his laughter at me, he already knows really. This is just one more shareable secret.
'yes,' i sulkily grouch out 'I did place some in my quarters, eventually, in the end when I ... Only when… only when a pair of Irish eyes tempted me.' I try to brazen it out, chin up and armour on.
'Damnit Chakotay! It isn't funny!' He is actually heaving with laughter, uncontrollable clutching and belly-deep laughter, and it bursts out. Not the outcome I had expected.
'It's not as if I could… indulge… in Fairhaven. It was an open programme! What if Harry had caught me. It was embarrassing that they knew of the… harmless flirtation' I bluster.
As the tears stream down his face and he fails to get any words out, I thump him hard in the chest.
'The doctor said I should, for health reasons,' I stand with my final defence, and Chakotay is practically wailing with laughter, unable to catch his breath and having to sit down.
'… anyway, It just wasn't right, I stopped, he just wasn't…' thumping Chakotay again in the upper arm 'he just wasn't you, damnit!' and I storm off to make coffee with my beautiful, shiny, state of the art coffee machine, freshly grinding the beans, and, oh, the aroma.
Damn the man! As he stops laughing, very gradually, I know he will have a smug look on his face for a long time this evening.
And if he doesn't stop laughing quickly, he will be sleeping on the couch, I decide.
'Should I check for them tomorrow' he coughs, clearly to cover another fit of laughing. Settling down, he then murmurs, 'Kathryn, you only had to ask…'
And I whirl around, death glare level ten, one hand on hip and the other waving at him.
'Don't you dare, Chakotay, don't you dare tell! Don't you dare judge me either. Seven long years, damnit, and you ! You, the sexiest man to cross my path, always beside me, always tempting, always so, so out of reach. I had only had to ask?'
He gives me his all-hands-on-deck full wattage grin as I am pulled into his embrace. The coffee is quickly abandoned, and as the aroma spreads through our apartment, I am instead spiralling into joy. There is something about having the real thing that makes all else a pale imitation.
smug devil.
