Padme realized they had arrived in Alderan but had not landed. Instead, they had entered into orbit and waited there for several hours, but she didn't know what for.
She was afraid though.
It had been a few days, she had been alone for much of it, resting and nursing her beautiful children. She had known every second of time she had was a second borrowed and had cherished it. Now each precious moment was coming due.
Obi Wan came and went often and quietly, gently rocking the babies when she could not get them to sleep and kissing their foreheads and toes. But this time she knew something was different. Bail Organa followed Obi Wan and then Mast Yoda, who looked a hundred years older than when she had seen him last.
"What is it?" she asked, pulling the children closer to her. Luke had been asleep, but now his baby blue eyes opened widely. His sister was nursing enthusiastically and didn't lookup. "What's happened?"
"Nothing new," Bail said quickly, raising his hand and smiling at her. She had always thought he had kind eyes. They looked at her children with such love for them, even though they were not his. He had come to see them a few times, and held them each so carefully, if a little clumsily like he was afraid he could break them.
That had been how Padme had imagined Anakin holding their children too. Like he didn't understand how to use his big, powerful hands to hold something so delicate, how he could keep something so small safe at all. The thought squeezed her chest so hard, she felt breathless.
"Safe together here, your children are not," Yoda said. "Difficult to hear, this is."
"Darth Vader, Anakin," Obi Wan started to say, but his voice broke and he looked down to the children's face, his hand running over his tired eyes, and then his beard.
"We believe that it's just a matter of time before the Emperor comes looking for your children," Bail said gently. "We are trying to find a way to get information about his plans, but honestly, we have no way of knowing who is loyal to him and who is loyal to the Republic. His power feels so complete."
"Of course," she agreed. "I may have some contacts still in the Senate who can help."
"Stay dead, you must," Yoda said to her softly. "Only those in this room know you and your children survived. Safer you all are, the fewer who see you."
"Oh," she said. "I see."
She looked down at the two babies on her chest and tears were suddenly running down her cheeks. There had been so many times she'd imagined a difficult future - Anakin being expelled from the Jedi Order, losing her place in the Senate, the look on Obi Wan's face when he realized the secret they had kept from him all this time. But never once in her most terrifying dreams had she imagined this nightmare. Never once did she think that she would be dead, unable to fight for the galaxy that she had been fighting for since she was thirteen years old, now all the more precious for her children's sake. Never once did she imaging that her children could be hurt or ripped away from her.
And then it hit her like a wave, smashing into her, pulling her under and she couldn't breathe, the water was her scream or the scream was the water and the world was swimming.
She was aware that Obi Wan had his hand on her shoulder and was speaking softly to her, his crystal eyes looking into hers, overwhelmed by compassion and pain. After that, she heard Luke and Leia fussing and she looked up to see Bail holding them both, one in each arm, and trying to bounce them gently, speaking to them over and over in sweet, soft repetitive tones.
"You are going to take them away, aren't you?" she asked, her voice breaking as another flood of tears ran down her face. "You're going to take my children."
"Padme, I wish there was another way," Obi Wan whispered to her. "I promise, whatever we have to do, I will not leave them unprotected. I promise you."
"Together, they are easier to sense," Yoda said. "Never have I felt such power. If sense it I can, the Emperor will too. Possible Darth Vader may as well, although the Emperor may hide these children from him too."
"Where will they go?" Padme whispered.
"Well, it's up to you, at least in part," Obi Wan said. "It needs to be a system that's far from the Emperor's attention, isolated, where they can be watched over from a distance."
"Tatooine," Padme said softly. "He has a stepbrother there. He is a good man, his girlfriend was kind to us years ago. They would be good," but she couldn't bring herself to say "parents".
She was supposed to be their parent. Anakin was supposed to be their parent. It wasn't Owen and Beru. They weren't supposed to be the ones who measured her children against a wall in their kitchen. She was. They weren't supposed to be the ones that went to the children in the night when they cried. She was. They weren't supposed to watch their first steps. She was. This wasn't how any of this was supposed to be.
"Yes, wise this is," agreed Yoda. "Send the boy there. Take him you will, Obi Wan, and watch over him."
"Padme, I promise you," Obi Wan said, "he will be safe."
She couldn't answer, she just nodded and reached for her son. Bail handed him back to her and she felt herself shaking as she pressed him against her chest. "How long do I have?" she whispered, sitting up so she could look him in the eyes as tears ran down her face, uninterrupted.
"We'll leave tomorrow," Obi Wan said gently.
"And my daughter?" she whispered. "Where will she go?"
"Would, would she be safe on Alderaan?" Bail asked hesitantly, as he laid her down on Padme again. "I've thought about it, I believe we could keep her safe here. My wife has been in seclusion for some time - her mother was ill, she has passed away but Breha has not returned from her mourning period. It would be easy for us to emerge from this time with a baby and claim that she was our daughter by blood. We would love her of course, she doesn't need to be blood for that, but it would help hide her from the Empire."
"Safe she would be," Yoda agreed. "And perhaps there is a place for a handmaiden there as well? Or a nurse?"
"You have some experience with that," Obi Wan pointed out with a dry smile.
"I could stay with her?" Padme whispered.
"Of course," Bail said, his face lighting up a little more. "Yes, of course, my wife has several attendants, and we would need more to care for our daughter. No one would recognize you, you would be quite safe with us and Leia would know you, when she was old enough you could even tell her the truth. She could know you both as her mothers."
"If I didn't have to say goodbye to both my children today," she said softly.
"I wish we could give you more time," Obi Wan said genuinely.
"To settle there is one more thing," Yoda said. "The death of Padme Amidala must be arranged.."
"Yes of course," Obi Wan agreed. "A state funeral would be best, burying her publicly so that there's no reason to keep looking for her."
"Or the children," Padme added. "I could arrange it."
"No," Obi Wan said quickly. "The fewer people who have reason to suspect you are alive, the better."
"We could prepare a body here," Bail said. "I would have the body escorted with the highest honor back to Naboo, where a state funeral could be arranged. As long as we gave no one any reason to look too closely at it," he trailed off uncomfortably.
"Yes," Yoda agreed. "An idea I have, on how to make this possible."
"In the meantime, when we will land I will make it known that I witnessed Padme's death, an assassination as she tried to bring the systems together in the chaos. All I need to do is say that a few times in the right company, and the word will spread fast."
"Thank you," Padme whispered.
"Then time it is," Yoda said.
"Yes," Bail agreed. "We'll give you some time with your children."
The others left and Obi Wan approached the bed and gently put a hand on Leia's head gently. "I wish there was another way," he said. "I promise you, I will watch over him with my life, and I will not let him feel unloved."
"I know," she whispered. "I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye."
