A birthday disagreement

During the next two weeks, I perceived a slight change in the way Snape would address me whenever we crossed each other. Most of the time he averted from looking at me, as if a little ashamed. When he couldn't avoid it, however, he would nod and mutter a greeting.

Well, Jane, you really pushed the man away. At least he's not mocking you anymore.

But I couldn't deny there was some delight in realizing that I had affected him somehow.

On the Sunday I was completing one month at Hogwarts, I was heading to my chambers after a couple hours gossiping with the other teachers over a small tea party thrown in honor of one of the staff members birthday that weekend. I arrived at my door at the same time as Snape's imposing shadow. I turned to look around and greet him but, before I could say anything, this time I was the one who took a few seconds to recompose.

He, who had been absent from the party, was wearing a black velvet dress robe, adorned with shining silver buttons, which fitted him way more tightly than his usual work robes. I was suddenly very aware of his broad chest and shoulders, and I'm sure he followed my eyes all the way from his upper body up to his eyes before I could say, in a clearly embarrassed voice, 'H-hi. Good evening'.

'Good evening. I came to collect your signature for your permanent contract, now that you have already spent your experience month'.

'Oh, ok' I opened the door and beckoned him in, still a little bit dazzled, 'so this mean I went alright in this first month?'

'Obviously it does, or I would be here to collect the signature for your dismissal'. Oh, there it was, the scorning again. But when I looked at him, ready to find contempt in those eyes, he was smiling at me. And, as timid as it was, I could tell it was not a disdainful smile, but a real one.

Once again, I had to recompose myself before shyly answering 'Ha ha, funny. Now give me that and let me sign it before Dumbledore changes his mind'.

After hastily scribbling my name on half a dozen different spots on the sheets of parchment he thrusted me, I returned them to him and, once more, walked him to the door. This time, I could be only imagining, but it seemed as he was already waiting for a few words before he crossed the threshold to the corridor. I placed my right hand on the doorknob and outstretched my left hand, resting it this time on his chest.

'You look so handsome on this robes' I said, quietly, looking at where my hand was placed in his chest. He was taller than me, but since I was tall myself, the top of my head was level with his chin. I took a while on his clenched strong jawline on my way to look up into his eyes, and, trying once more to sound seductively funny, said 'too bad it wasn't for the tea party this afternoon. I noticed you weren't there'.

After looking back at me with his mouth slightly opened for a few seconds, distinctly disconcerted, he diverted his eyes from mine and answered, sternly, 'I had business in Hogsmead to attend' and left. But, before he could swing out of my view, I thought I saw the shadow of a smile on his lips.

...

One week later, it was time for my twenty-eighth birthday tea party to take place. My fellow colleagues arranged, as it was the etiquette for this events between us, the decoration, food and beverages – but we had a no-gift rule for birthdays, since otherwise it would take us a lot of time during the whole year around to pick up presents every other week for each member of the staff.

I replaced my regular work robes with a nice set of black button up shirt, dark grey skirt and dark pantyhose, and applied some of my favourite magical hair product, which made my usually straight dark brown mane acquire some waves. Feeling elated, I wended my way through the deserted passageways into the staff room.

After an hour of cheerful chatting, singing and a little bit of excessive drinking, I caught with the corner of my eye when Snape entered the room. I followed him with furtive looks as he took off his cloak and left it on the hanger besides the door. I could see he too was not wearing his usual work robes underneath his cloak, what wasn't uncommon on a weekend celebration. He wore a white long sleeve dress shirt, closely fit to his body.

He spotted me between the jabbering and chanting crowd, and walked in my direction with a straight face, but gazing fiercely at me. The sight of that man coming towards me, his body tight on that shirt, and the intensity of his eyes on mine... I was sure I had failed miserable at hiding my desire as he approached me to wish me a happy birthday. I thanked him, embarrassed and suddenly anxious about what people around us would think, but no one was paying attention as some of the teachers had now started to dance and had drawn the attention of all the others in the room.

'Apparently I'm the only one still sober at this party' he smirked.

'Well, catch up, then' I jerked my head showing the side table where the foods and drinks were disposed.

I walked beside him to the table, undeniably lured, putting a few steps between us and the pirouetting horde.

'I'm glad you came' I said. Was I even still trying to hide my attraction anymore?

He didn't answer right away, but after a few seconds he spoke.

'Twenty-eight. That's still young. I imagine you're aspiring to join the incurable singles troupe?' he indicated the dancing crowd ahead, sniggering.

'Oh, certainly. That's the goal' I laughed.

He snorted, and, after another pause, continued, gingerly, while stirring the beverage he had just poured himself 'you seriously don't intend to pursue a life outside Hogwarts after some years of teaching?'

'Not really. Of course, I can't be sure after only five weeks here, but that singles troupe seems to be having the time of its life and I feel no pity for them whatsoever' I smiled.

'And you don't have a relationship outside the school?' he kept on after a few seconds.

'No. I didn't get much opportunity for that, to be honest, nor was I really open for it'.

'Well, I'm sure it wasn't because nobody was interested in you... so it seems you're the one who wasn't interested in anyone' he frowned at me, inquisitively.

I swear I tried not to. But, mind you, I had always been a very straightforward person. I couldn't stop it. I turned my head to make sure I was looking in his eyes with all my eagerness and snapped.

'There is one in particular I've been interested in for over a decade now, since I was a student here last time' I saw a wave of shock oscillate in his eyes and ploughed on 'and I've tried to make him notice me, see, but so far I have not been successful'.

My cheeks were burning, but I kept my gaze steady until he looked down and, stirring his cup, said in a voice that was almost a whisper.

'I'm too old for you'.

I admit I was expecting he would act as if he had no idea who I was talking about, so this few words of him caught me off guard and my voice was a little bit shaky when I replied.

'No, you're not. You're thirty-seven' I steadied my voice and continued 'but it's ok if you're uninterested, mind you, I'm a grown-up woman and I can deal with rejection. It won't change our relationship as colleagues, I assure you'.

'That's not what I'm worried about. I just don't think you should waste your time, I'm not a person that can get involved in a relationship' he seemed to be getting angrier now, as if accusing him of indifference had made him crossed 'so you should probably focus yourself on a man you could...'

'I don't need any man' I interrupted him, now getting annoyed myself 'I just want you'.

Seething, I left him by the table and walked back towards my dear troupe.