Castiel had always cared about the Winchesters. More than Heaven, more than his celestial brethren. He'd always put Sam and Dean first. Even if they couldn't see it at the time.
Something was different now, though. And not in a bad way.
Sam looked at Cas as he always had—with a mixture of slight awe and sympathy, but mostly relief that the angel was there at all. Castiel thought of Sam Winchester as a friend. A good friend. A best friend, even. And he'd die to protect him if he had to.
But Dean...
Cas had, until recently, thought of the older Winchester as his best friend. Mostly because that's what he thought Dean wanted out of their relationship. He'd always felt closer to Dean than to Sam, but chalked that up to their initial meeting and how unique it was.
Of course things changed when Cas decided to sacrifice himself for Dean by letting the Empty take him. The angel told Dean what he thought he never could because he was about to die anyway and what's the harm in admitting to something when you know you'll never have to face the consequences of it?
Except now Cas was back and he did have to face those consequences, whatever they might be.
But as the two embrace, Cas thinks that maybe Dean does feel the same. And when they eventually pull back apart, the only thing he sees in Dean's expression is awe and affection. Adoration, even. It makes the angel feel things he didn't even think were possible. If he wasn't absolutely certain before, now he knew.
He was in love with Dean Winchester. And that scared the shit out of him.
"Do you two... need a moment?" Sam asked, cutting through a palpable silence.
Cas didn't even realize how he was just staring at Dean. Apparently Dean didn't realize he was just staring right back, either.
"Are you hurt?" Cas asked, forcing himself to push his emotions aside for the time being. "You said you felt like you were on fire. Here, let me see if anything's wrong."
The angel reached out a hand and placed his fingertips on Dean's forehead. The human stood still and actually shut his eyes at Cas's touch. Cas didn't detect anything out of the ordinary—well, aside from the black goo stains still marking tracks down Dean's face.
"It seems like everything's as it should be," Cas said after his examination.
He dropped his hand and Dean opened his eyes again. He still looked a bit flustered for some reason, though the angel couldn't begin to understand why.
"Your wings," Dean breathed, shaking his head. "I just... I can't get used to them."
"Ah," Cas said. "It's understandable. As I mentioned, they aren't really meant for human comprehension. I am not surprised to see you overwhelmed by them."
Dean nodded, unable to add anything to the conversation.
"It's not fair that you can see his wings and I can't," Sam complained, mostly teasing.
Cas smiled at Dean's younger brother and walked over to him. "Could you get some towels from the bathroom for Dean's face? I don't think you want him leaving goo all over the room."
Sam nodded, then caught Cas's eye and seemed to understand the angel's hidden meaning. Cas didn't want to seem rude, but he needed to speak with Dean alone for a moment. Before the human—his human—could make up an excuse to leave. Because it was clear that something had made him uncomfortable, and Cas knew it wasn't just because of the wings.
After Sam left the room, Cas gestured for Dean to take a seat on the edge of one of the beds. Dean obliged and the angel sat down next to him, allowing some space between the two.
"Time was... different in the Empty. How long was I gone for?" Cas asked, looking down at his hands instead of at the human sitting next to him.
"About a week and a half," Dean answered, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. "I know it wasn't that long, but it felt like a long time. I... It was hard for me and Sam."
"I am sorry you had to go through that," Cas said sincerely.
"Well, you're back now and that's what matters," Dean said, patting Cas on the shoulder.
Cas smiled a little, then wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulders, pulling him closer. The angel knew he might be pushing things a bit too far too quickly for the human's liking, but he couldn't quite bring himself to stop. He was just so... happy.
The angel knew Dean probably felt his wings curl around him protectively, but since the human didn't move Cas figured the gesture was acceptable. The two stayed that way for a few minutes until Sam got back with the towels. Sam didn't say anything, but it looked like he was suppressing a smile.
Cas knew he wanted Dean to be happy, and based on the looks the younger Winchester brother was giving him, it seemed like he was glad to see Cas happy as well.
"Here," Sam said, tossing Dean the clean towels.
Dean easily caught them and stood up to wipe his face and clothing off. Cas stayed seated on the bed, comfortable in the presence of the two Winchesters.
"So you've got all your angel mojo back?" Sam asked as Dean went into the bathroom to dispose of the now dirtied towels.
Cas nodded, "I believe so, yes. I think Jack may have even given me an upgrade."
Sam raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"
"I feel stronger," the angel explained. "Than ever. Not, like, archangel level of powerful, but close."
"Nice," Sam said. "Hey, we could actually use your help, if you don't mind. There's this box thing we have to get and we don't even know where to begin looking for it."
"How about we let Cas rest for a while?" Dean cut in, stepping out of the bathroom. "We just got him back and I'm sure he could use a little downtime before we drag him back into our messes."
"I don't mind," Cas said. "You guys are kind of all I have left, so," he shrugged. "What's in the box?"
"Well, we don't know," Sam answered. "But apparently it's important because both Death and the Queen of Hell want it."
Cas's eyes widened.
"Yeah, I know. We came out here for a vacation but got roped into this... quest instead."
"A vacation to where?" the angel asked, looking back and forth between the two brothers.
"Disneyland," Sam said as Dean gave an awkward smile.
"Disney... land?" Cas repeated, confused. "I am not familiar with this place. What is a land full of... Disney?"
"It's an amusement park of sorts," Sam explained, trying to stifle a laugh. "Like... like a carnival, but on a much larger scale."
"Ah, I see," Cas said, though he was still a bit perplexed. "Are amusement parks not for children, though?"
Dean shot his brother a look as if to say, "See? I told you so" but Sam ignored it and replied, "Children enjoy Disneyland, yeah. But so do adults. It has rides and attractions for everyone."
"Oh," Cas said, frowning a bit. "Will you take me to this... Disneyland? I am curious to see what amusement park attractions interest both adults and children."
"Um..." Sam said, looking over to his brother for help.
Dean just shrugged, "Sammy and I were supposed to have five days there, but with the whole box issue we decided to post-pone the trip."
"Oh," Cas said again, surprisingly disappointed. "All right. Maybe some other time, then."
Sam gave Dean a look that the angel couldn't quite read, then said, "We could still go for a day or two. It's only about an hour from here. The box can wait a couple days."
Cas looked to Dean for permission. The older Winchester sighed and put his hands up in mock surrender.
"Fine," he conceded. "I've been overruled by the hippie and puppy-dog eyed angel."
He tried to sound annoyed, but Cas knew there was no real bite to Dean's words. For once, in a very long time, all three of them were happy. Truly happy. And it felt amazing, even if none of them would say as much aloud.
That night Sam and Dean ordered pizza and watched some old movie on the crappy motel room TV set while Cas went to a corner store to pick up a pack of beer and some crossword puzzles. The beer was for the brothers and the crossword puzzles were for him, of course.
It felt nice to be able to stretch his wings out in the crisp night air. Even though they were made of celestial matter and therefore phased through most objects, the angel had gotten used to folding them accordingly in order to fit in small spaces. He considered "zapping", as Dean would call it, to the store, but figured it might look a little odd to any passersby.
As a result, by the time Cas got the items and returned to the motel room, Sam and Dean were both fast asleep on their respective beds. Cas smiled to himself and quietly shut the TV off. Not requiring any sleep himself, the angel sat down in a worn armchair near the window and began a crossword puzzle. He glanced up every so often at Dean's face, which looked a lot younger and more peaceful while he was asleep.
Cas hadn't quite managed to say what he wanted to earlier, but he figured there'd be another time. As confident as he felt, he was simultaneously terrified. He wanted to know if Dean would reciprocate the feelings Cas had for him—he was pretty sure the human would—but still, there was a part of him that was fearful.
What if Dean didn't feel the same way? What if he rejected Cas? Surely that would make things extremely awkward between the two of them.
Did Cas really want to risk their current relationship to try for something more? It seemed like a good idea only hours ago, but now... Well, he was starting to have doubts.
Maybe he was just overthinking everything. It was hard to know, what with his knowledge of humans and their complicated emotions being limited.
Either way, Cas knew he had to bring it up eventually. It was just a matter of when the right time for it might be. Until then, he supposed he'd just have to try and act cool about things. Not that that was something he'd ever been good at.
