While Eileen and Sam ventured to the Mediterranean restaurant, Dean dragged Cas along to find "better food" as he referred to it.
"I think I see a burger place on the map here," Cas said, pointing to a building marked as a restaurant on a Park map he'd picked up near the entrance. "It should be around here somewhere."
"Gimme that," Dean said, snatching the piece of paper from Cas and examining it closely. "Hmm, are you sure you're reading this right? I think you're looking in the wrong direction."
"I'm not," Cas said with a tired sigh. "I don't get directions wrong, Dean."
"Well, I don't see any burger places around here," the human huffed in annoyance.
"All right, how about we just go somewhere else then?" Cas suggested. "Look, over there," he pointed to a sign that said "Smokejumpers Grill".
"Is that supposed to be an airplane hanger?" Dean said, squinting at the oddly shaped building.
"Well, there is an airplane-themed ride next to it," Cas pointed out.
Dean rolled his eyes, "Fine, whatever. I'm starving. I'll take anything."
"You just ate two hours ago," Cas said as he followed Dean into the restaurant.
The angel was a bit confused by the restaurant's interior, which did indeed mimic that of an airplane hanger. Dean was very excited when he found an assortment of different burger choices on the menu. Castiel only ordered a glass of water, though he wished the establishment offered alcoholic beverages.
As much as he enjoyed spending time with Dean, there was a tension between the two that just couldn't be ignored anymore. Cas had already told Dean once how he felt about the human and now... Well, it seemed like Dean was trying to keep their relationship the way it had been before Cas's confession. The two had shared an intimate moment earlier while waiting in line to get into the Park, but now Dean was back to treating Cas like a friend and nothing more.
Was Cas just reading into things too much? Was he only seeing what he wanted to see?
"You wanna try some?" Dean asked, jolting the angel out of his anxiety-filled thoughts.
He gestured to the burger in front of him. It did look good, but human food was oftentimes too overwhelming for Cas to actually enjoy.
"No thanks," he replied. "Enjoy your cholesterol-filled meal."
Dean gave the angel a look but continued eating his burger nonetheless. Once they were finished with lunch, the human announced that he should probably use the bathroom before getting in line for any rides. Castiel waited on a bench outside the restaurant until Dean got back.
"Excuse me, sir," a woman said, tapping Cas on the shoulder. "Have you seen my daughter? I think she might've ran past you. She had a pink dress on and she had her hair up in pigtails."
"I'm afraid not," Cas answered, giving the woman a sympathetic look. "I'm sure one of the employees here will find her, though. Is this your first trip to Disneyland?"
"How'd you tell?" the woman chuckled, sounding a little overwhelmed. "My daughter's been begging me to take her here since her birthday. It's just hard because I'm a single mom and, well, this place isn't cheap, as I'm sure you're well aware."
In truth, Castiel didn't know. Sam and Dean paid for the trip and the money they used wasn't even really theirs. They'd been using hacked credit cards ever since Cas had met them.
"I'm sure your daughter appreciates all the effort you've made to bring her here," Cas said with a kind smile.
The woman smiled back and then said, "How about you? Are you here with your family?"
"Well—I suppose so, yes," Cas said. "It's also our first time here."
"Ah, well I hope you enjoy it," the woman smiled again.
"You too."
"Agh, Sam's bitching at us for not meeting up with him and Eileen yet," Dean said as he walked over to Cas. "They're already in line for some river-boat ride. Lame-asses."
"Uh..." Cas said, giving the woman he'd just met an apologetic look. "Sorry about... him."
Dean looked up from his phone and saw the woman standing in front of the two of them. "I'm not sorry," he said with a shrug. "Not my fault my brother and his girlfriend are losers."
"Dean," Cas chastised, glaring at him.
"It's okay," the woman said, waving a dismissive hand at Cas. "Sorry to bother you guys like this. I hope you enjoy your day. Disneyland isn't exactly what I would call an ideal place for a double-date, but I guess once you get away from all the screaming toddlers it isn't too bad."
The woman walked away before either Cas or Dean could process what she'd just said.
"Did she—did she think we were—" Dean floundered, seemingly at a loss for words. "Pshh, that would be totally crazy... Right?"
The angel nodded emphatically. "Yeah, totally."
"Yeah. Yeah, a double-date at Disneyland. That would be..." Dean trailed off and didn't bother to finish that sentence.
The next couple hours were more than awkward. Waiting in line for rides included Dean standing as far away from Cas as possible and Cas pretending to be busy on his phone. The two had barely spoken a word to each other since the incident, as Cas thought of it as.
At one point, Dean must've gotten overheated in his flannel overshirt, because he shrugged it off and tied the material around his hips. Cas couldn't help but stare at the human's nicely defined arms and the muscles that strained underneath his skin every time he moved to stretch or run a hand through his hair.
After the third ride Dean insisted the two go on, Cas started to feel a little queasy. He wasn't used to the momentum of roller coasters and a few too many loops and dips on the track left him looking a bit green and in search of a trash can.
"I think... I'm gonna be sick," he announced quickly before running over to a garbage can near the ride's exit.
"Whoa, okay," Dean said from somewhere nearby. "Maybe that's enough roller coasters for today."
He patted Cas on the back as the angel threw up bile. The gesture was intended to be comforting, Cas knew, but feeling Dean's hand on him—even if there were several layers separating it from his bare skin—made Cas feel even more ill. Between the rides and the nerves the angel had been experiencing all day, he was about ready to go back to the motel.
"I think I need to rest for a while," Cas said after the wave of nausea finally left.
"I thought you didn't need rest," Dean said, narrowing his eyes at the angel in suspicion.
"It turns out that rollercoasters do not agree with angels," Cas said roughly. "I want to go back."
"Back where?"
"To the motel. I've had enough fun for one day, Dean."
"Oh, come on," Dean pressed. "There's plenty of other things we can do here that don't involve being hoisted upside down."
"No, Dean," Castiel argued. "I want to leave."
Dean gave him a pleading look. "Look, man, I know this isn't really your thing. But we'll probably never get to come back here, okay? Let's enjoy the rest of our day here and then you can go back to the motel room to sulk around."
"I'm not sulking," Cas protested, glaring at Dean.
The human rolled his eyes, "Yeah, okay. You've been such a ray of sunshine all day, Cas."
Dean turned to walk away but Cas halted him by grabbing his arm.
"Stay if you want, but I'm leaving. I'll see you at the motel."
"Cas, wait," Dean said, his gaze softening. "I'm sorry you haven't been enjoying this trip as much as I have. What would you like to do? Wanna stop in the gift shop? You can get a cool hat."
"I don't want a hat," Cas said, scowling.
"You might," Dean insisted. "They sell some pretty cool hats here."
Cas really didn't want to stay in the Park for any longer, but he could tell Dean was making an effort to be nice. As a result of conceding the argument, the angel ended up following Dean around to different Disney-themed stores. The older Winchester bought a few keychains and a metallic water bottle themed after one of the rides they'd been on.
Cas found a pin that he thought might look cool on his coat, but remembered that he didn't bring any money with him.
"You want that?" Dean asked, looking at some Disney-themed coffee mugs.
"Um... I don't have any money," Cas said.
Dean gave him a look and took the pin, paying for it when they eventually made their way to the register. The gesture was simple and it wasn't the first time the Winchesters had bought things for Cas, but it still made him feel a little better.
He knew Dean cared about him, even if it wasn't in the same way Cas cared about Dean.
"Wow, it looks like you've done a bit of shopping," Sam commented when they all met up later in the evening to get dinner.
"Might be my only chance," Dean said with a shrug. "I've gotta commemorate this trip somehow."
"Uh-huh," Sam replied. "How about you, Cas? Did you find anything?"
The angel pointed to the pin that was now attached to his coat.
Sam smiled, "Nice. Glad to see you didn't buy half the store like Dean did."
The eldest Winchester playfully glared at his brother and then launched into a story of his day with Cas.
"Yeah, he made it through three rides before throwing up," Dean was saying. "I'm actually kind of impressed."
Cas gave Sam a sheepish look. "Being upside down was not as fun as some humans make it look."
"Don't feel bad," Eileen chimed in. "Sam got sick, too."
"Ooh, you don't say?" Dean said, raising his eyebrows in interest.
"I think it was the Mediterranean food," Sam said, sounding a little embarrassed.
"Hah! I'm not surprised. You should know better than to eat that stuff."
"'That stuff' is extremely healthy, Dean. You just think it's gross because you won't get near anything that even resembles a salad."
The two brothers continued their banter as Cas and Eileen looked on the map for somewhere to eat dinner. Eventually everyone settled on a pizza joint with an attached bar. Cas immediately went to the bartender—well, after getting some cash from Dean to pay for the drinks—and quickly gulped down a few fruity beverages.
The angel's anxiety was up and down all day, but it finally seemed to be going away fully. He'd been getting so many mixed signals from Dean that he'd felt like ripping his hair out. Every time he thought about bringing their relationship up, he chickened out. Toward the end of the day it was hard for Cas to look directly at the human's dazzling smile and eyes that always seemed to be dancing with mischief.
"I feel like the third wheel over there with Sam and Eileen," Dean said, joining Cas at the bar after the three humans had finished eating their dinner.
"Ah, yes. I imagine it must be quite awkward sitting by two people who are as romantically involved as they are," Cas said, taking a large sip of his current alcoholic beverage of choice.
"Oh, you have no idea," Dean muttered.
He waved the bartender over and ordered a beer.
"This stuff doesn't taste very good," Cas said, holding up his drink for Dean to see. "Though I guess the flavor doesn't matter much, as long as it works."
"How many drinks have you had so far?" Dean asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at the angel.
Cas shrugged, "Honestly? I lost count. Not enough to get drunk, though. Sadly."
"Yeah... about that," Dean said, putting a hand on the angel's arm. "You sure you're all right, Cas? I know this isn't really your thing, but even for you you're acting... I don't know... You've just been acting weird around me all day."
"Ugh, can we not talk about this, please?" Cas sighed loudly. "I don't wanna think anymore tonight."
"Cas—" Dean started, frowning.
"I'm okay, Dean. Really," Cas insisted. "Don't worry about me."
Dean looked uncertain but didn't press the issue any further. After consuming several more drinks, Cas was starting to feel a little tipsy. Meanwhile, Dean had downed multiple beers as well as some mixed drinks and was now extremely inebriated.
Sam called to tell him and Cas that he was going back to Eileen's motel room for the night, to which Dean responded by gulping down half of another beer.
"I guess there's no better time than now..." he muttered to himself, his words slurred.
"No better time for what?" Cas asked, glancing over at Dean and seeing the glassy, alcohol-induced look on his face.
"There's something I need to tell you, Cas," he said, swaying on his bar stool a little.
"Um... maybe now isn't the time," Cas replied. "I should probably take you back to the motel, Dean. You are... very intoxicated right now."
"I know," Dean slurred. "But lemme say somethin' first before we leave."
"Maybe you should wait," Cas insisted. "You might wake up tomorrow and regret this."
"I don't care," Dean said, waving away the angel's statement with a hand. "I need to say this now."
"Okay..." Cas relented.
He was a bit nervous. What was so hard for Dean to say that he had to be drunk to get the words out?
"I..." Dean trailed off and frowned. "We've known each other a long time, Cas," he started again, his words slurring in strange places. "You—you mean a lot to me."
Cas smiled, "You mean a lot to me too, Dean."
"No, no, no," Dean said, wagging a finger in the angel's face. "You don't understand."
There was a long pause while Cas waited for Dean to finish his statement. When he didn't, Cas prompted him to continue.
"You mean a lot to me," he repeated. "And I haven't been able to properly tell you that because I've been too much of a coward."
"I... don't understand," Cas frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Since... since I don't even know when, I felt it. But I ignored it, because I didn't want to accept it. But then you... you sacrificed yourself for me. And I knew. I knew I couldn't ignore those feelings anymore."
Dean put his hands on Cas's shoulders and gave him what was probably supposed to be a meaningful look, but was a bit muddled by all the alcohol currently coursing through the human's veins.
"I love you," Dean said. "I love you, Cas. I'm in love with your stupid angelic ass."
He then grinned a lopsided grin and half-hugged, half-fell on Cas. The angel sat frozen for a few beats before wrapping his arms around Dean.
"I love you too, Dean," Cas replied softly, a small smile finding its way onto his face.
He pushed the human back slightly and found that Dean had somehow already managed to fall asleep. Well, that answered the question of how much alcohol he'd consumed.
Cas looked around and, seeing that the bar was empty of any other customers, zapped himself and Dean back to the motel room. He carried Dean to his bed and laid him down gently, though the human was out cold and probably wouldn't even wake up for an earthquake. Cas wondered if the human would even remember all of this by morning.
Would he feel the same way about Cas when he was sober again?
The angel hoped so. He'd been wanting this for so long. If it turned out to be nothing more than the alcohol talking, Cas would be devastated.
