This begins at the end of Snakes and Ladders, the episode in which Julia has been attacked by a serial killer and prevailed over him. This is my very first fanfiction (or really writing of any kind), so please be kind. I just love the show and the characters and especially their relationship - two intelligent, strong-willed, and fiercely independent people who fall in love. The episodes often leave me wanting to know what happens "next" between the shows (I think they do that on purpose to hold our interest!). Here is my musings on what happened "next" after the show ends. I hope you enjoy it, and I welcome any comments.
Chapter 1.
"I think I need to go home now."
"Yes of course. I will see you safely home."
Murdoch walked over to Julia and touched her gently on her shoulder, turning her towards the door of the morgue. Her arms and hands were covered with blood and there was blood splattered on her face. As they walked silently, Murdoch could feel Julia start to tremble. In the hallway before the exit door was a wash basin with some clean towels beside it. Julia always kept everything in the morgue spotless.
"Let's clean you up a bit." Murdoch stopped at the sink and turned on the water. Julia stood there trembling. He guided her hands to the cool water and she started to wash them off herself, slowly and hesitantly. The basin filled with blood. He emptied the basin and filled it again. As she dried her hands, he took a towel and dipped it in the clean water, and gently washed the blood off of her face. He touched her tenderly with the towel as she trembled, almost shook from the shock.
"There now, that's better. Let's get you home so you can have a proper bath."
Julia nodded but did not speak. He tucked her arm under his and guided her out of the morgue towards her home. He had taken to walking her home from their dance class, and he knew the way.
They walked together in silence for a time, and when they turned onto her street, Julia found her voice. The words came quickly, insistently, almost tumbling out.
"I was working at my desk when Detective Scanlon came in. He startled me. I thought perhaps he had a question about the case. Then he pulled out his knife, and it came to me, all at once, it was HIM. He was the killer! I ran into the morgue and he followed me. All I could see was the knife flashing, and I thought for sure he would kill me. I grabbed my dissecting forceps, and when he came at me, I stabbed him with them, with all of my strength…oh William, what have I done?" She was shaking now.
William stopped and took Julia in his arms. He spoke gently, "Julia, you had no choice. I am so glad you are alive." He stood there holding her, in the street, until her shaking eased.
Then he tucked her arm under his again and they approached her front door. The house was dark except for the entrance light and a small light in the front hall. Julia drew the key from her pocket and started to insert it into the door, but she was still trembling, and she had trouble turning the lock. William took over and opened the door for her and then followed her in.
"You should eat something and have some tea, Julia. It will calm your nerves." She had forgotten to ask him to come in, and he had forgotten to wait for her to ask. They both knew she needed him right now.
"Annie always leaves me a snack when I work late." They headed to the kitchen where Murdoch pulled out the chair for her to sit down. She was still trembling, but the shaking had stopped. He saw the kettle and filled it with water for tea. There were small sandwiches on a platter, and a plate. He put them in front of Julia.
"I can't."
"Here, let me eat with you. We can share them. It will help steady you."
He found a second small plate and sat down at the table with her, the servant's table in the kitchen, which felt small and intimate. He put a small sandwich on her plate, and one on his.
He wanted to make her smile. "Oooh cucumber, my favorite, how did Annie know?" he said as he tasted the sandwich.
Julia attempted a very small smile, and his efforts were rewarded when she took a tiny bite. Murdoch suddenly realized he was so hungry he could eat several sandwiches, but he restrained himself. He hadn't eaten supper that evening, but he was here to care for Julia. The kettle blew quietly and he got up before it started to howl. He poured out some tea for both of them. Then he saw a bottle of sherry near the sink and opened it and poured a bit of it into her tea.
"This will help."
They sat there quietly drinking the tea. Murdoch looked at her tenderly, but she wasn't making much eye contact. He thought to himself that she had never looked so beautiful, or so vulnerable. Her trembling started to abate. She even took a few more bites of the cucumber sandwich.
They finished their tea together and then Julia said simply, "I think I need that bath." Murdoch nodded. "That's right. A bath and a good night's sleep, and I am sure you will feel much better."
Julia stood up hesitantly. She still looked a bit unsteady on her feet. He rose with her.
"Do you need me to stay? I can find a book in your library."
"I can manage now."
They walked to the door. "I will give the dance instructor your regrets, you needn't worry."
"Oh, dance class." Julia said vaguely.
"Are you sure you are alright?"
"I'm fine, William," she insisted. Her voice was a little stronger, a little more steady, which he took to be a good sign. "Annie will be back in the morning."
He stepped out the door and heard her lock it behind him. The vision came to him of Julia slipping off her dress and stepping into the bath, and he had to take a deep breath and steady himself while he walked from her street. He checked his pocket watch as a distraction, and realized that if he hurried, he could still make it home to change—he had gotten blood on his suit jacket at the morgue- and then to the dance class. He would be late, but he could make it. He wondered whom he would dance with tonight, with Julia absent. They had paired together almost exclusively these past few classes, and he had gotten used to the feeling of holding her in his arms. He wasn't so enamored of the dancing itself, but it felt incredible being so close to her, and he never wanted the classes to end.
His boarding house was on the other side of town from Julia's house and the area near the dance studio. He walked quickly back to the station realizing it would be much faster if he rode his bicycle. He climbed astride the bike and almost at once felt refreshed as the air rushed past him. He loved the feeling of the wind as he rode. "Silly horseless carriages" he thought to himself, "nothing feels like riding a bicycle."
Mrs. Kitchen took one look at him as he entered the boarding house and insisted that he sit down for some beef stew. "I won't let them starve you at that station house and drive you into an early grave." Mrs. Kitchen did not comment on the blood on his suit, but neither did she protest when he said he needed to change before he ate.
Murdoch relished the beef stew but ate quickly. He was grateful for the warm meal but told her in his polite but succinct way that he had an appointment. She knew his work took him everywhere at all hours and asked no questions.
He rode his bicycle again and made it to the dance studio only a few minutes late. He gave apologies to the instructor for Julia's absence, and was absolutely floored when the instructor pointed out that Julia was coming in the door behind him.
In a deep blue dress, with her hair escaping in curls from her updo, she had never looked lovelier. William ached to hold her in his arms. He didn't have to wait long. She approached him as the waltz music started, and he put his arms out to dance. She glided into his arms and his heart skipped a beat. He was continuously amazed by her personal strength. Her beauty. Her intelligence. And yet seeing her so vulnerable brought out a new feeling; he wanted to protect her—always. Not wanting to seem critical, he casually expressed surprise that she had come to attend the class. When she replied, he wasn't sure if his heart would stop beating altogether.
"Tonight, more than any other night" she had said to him, "I just want to be held." He drew her closer and she rested her cheek on his. As he guided her gently on the dance floor, it felt so incredible, and so right. Without even realizing it, he had longed for this moment, when she would let him in, let him see her vulnerable, let him care for her. He wanted to hold her forever and never let her go. If he had feelings for her before, it was nothing compared to what he felt now.
The instructor knew from William's comment that something had happened, and he left them alone. As Julia let William lead her around the dance floor, he was careful not to make any sudden moves. Neither of them spoke. It was enough just to be in each other's arms. When the class moved on from waltzes to the two step, Julia sighed. William looked at her.
"Why don't I walk you home now? I think we are both a bit tired."
Julia nodded and they walked out of the class together, in their now usual pose, with her arm tucked under his. He wanted to take her mind off things, so he looked up and started to tell her about the stars. She listened quietly and her breathing was steady, which Murdoch understood to be a good sign. He was learning to understand her body language—when she was excited, or tired, or on edge, or at peace. She seemed much calmer, almost serene, as he walked her home. Perhaps the dance class was a good idea after all.
When they reached the door, this time she was able to unlock the door herself. "Thank you." she said. They stood closely on the front step. He looked into her eyes and she broke his gaze and looked down demurely. He knew how exhausted she must be, and he stepped back obligingly. "I will stop in and check on you tomorrow." "Good night." "Good night."
Murdoch watched her lock and latch the door and felt his heart soar. Julia was safe, and now he was more hopeful than ever that she could be his.
Chapter 2.
He spent the early morning filling out paperwork. Recounting how he and the Inspector had figured out that Scanlon (nee Orgill) was the killer, how Crabtree had told them of Orgill's plans to "visit the doctor," and how they had rushed over to Julia's assistance too late—but in time to receive the gruesome thank you message. He looked up when Crabree entered the room.
"What have you, George?"
"Sir, the Inspector had the body sent over to Markham. Dr. Ogden needn't perform the autopsy."
"Quite right. Good thinking."
"I didn't expect Dr. Ogden to come in today, sir, but she's at the morgue already. I thought you would want to know."
"Thank you, George. I think I will go over and check on our good doctor."
"Yes, sir. I am sure she would appreciate that."
Murdoch hurried over to see Julia. She was sitting at her desk working on paperwork of her own.
"Julia." He kept his voice gentle but could not hide the fact that he was surprised (and yet pleased) to see her.
"William." He voice was soft, but steady.
"I thought perhaps you would stay home today. I intended to visit you this afternoon."
"I have a lot to finish up. I left a bit earlier last night than expected, you know. Thank you for walking me home."
"Of course."
Julia gave a small giggle. "Annie was furious when she found out that all she had for you to eat was cucumber sandwiches. She wants to make you a proper meal, to thank you for assisting me. Are you available tonight?"
"I think Mrs. Kitchen can do without me at supper time."
"I will let Annie know. Oh, and I heard that the body in our most recent case is on its way to Markham. Will you thank the Inspector for me? "
"Certainly. I am sure he felt it was the least we could do, after putting you in that kind of danger."
"Please don't, we were all fooled. (pause) I should get back to my paperwork."
"Good day, Doctor."
"Good day, Detective."
The afternoon passed quickly and relatively quietly. He sent Crabtree to look after a noise complaint, while some of the other constables played checkers. The snakes and ladders game sat in Murdoch's office. The appeal had worn off with discovery that the game had been purchased as part of the killer's ruse. While they played checkers, the constables marveled at how the killer tricked them into thinking that he was a Scotland Yard Detective. To a man, they were relieved he was dead and marveled at Dr. Ogden's strength and bravery.
Listening to their talk, Murdoch became concerned that Julia shouldn't hear the conversation. "I don't think Dr. Ogden is going to want to discuss it."
"But of course, sir," said Higgins, "we would never dream of bringing it up if she were here."
Chapter 3.
William walked back over to the morgue before sundown. He called out to Julia as he entered, sure that she would have no wish to be startled again this evening.
"Doctor?"
She greeted him with a warm smile. "Detective. I hope you are hungry. Apparently Annie has been quite busy."
"I will do my best."
Julia put on her walking cape and he tucked her arm under his. He wanted to keep the conversation light, so as they walked, he asked her about her travels abroad.
"Tell me about Prague."
'It is really the most beautiful city. The streets are still cobblestone, and the center of the city is filled with shops selling the most delicious delicacies. Chocolates, baguettes, pastries—you don't know which shop to enter first."
"I would love to see that."
"I would love to go back someday."
The walk was a quick one. Annie was excited to greet them.
"Oh Detective, thank you for saving our Julia."
Murdoch raised an eyebrow at Julia over Annie's head, but Julia just smiled. Apparently Julia had not told Annie exactly what had transpired at the morgue the night before.
Annie had laid out china and silver place settings in the dining room. There were flowers in the center of the table, and lace napkins at each place setting as well. William pulled out the chair for Julia to sit and sat opposite her. He thanked Annie for the lovely table, but at the same time, he missed the intimacy of the kitchen table that he and Julia had shared the night before. All of the fancy trappings did not mean much to him, he would rather have been sitting closer to her.
Dinner was delicious, with a soup course and small chicken cordon bleu for each of them. Clearly Annie had gone to a lot of trouble. There was even a chocolate pastry for dessert. Julia had a bit of sherry with her dinner. William demurred and was content with water and the delicious meal- not to mention his lovely dinner companion. They spoke more of travel- of his trips to Western Ontario, and of hers to Europe. Neither mentioned Orgill.
When they finished eating, Julia asked him if he would like to join her for tea in the study. Of course he would.
He followed her down a hallway to a large study filled with books. He felt at home like he usually did in a library, but at the same time, he was a bit awed by the grandeur of the house.
There was a seating area in the center of the room, which was cozy with books all around piled up on small tables. A fire was crackling gently in the fireplace. Julia led him to a velvet couch. They sat closely on the couch, just shy of touching one another. Julia leaned slightly back on a soft pillow. William leaned slightly forward to give her all of his attention.
"Tell me about your life before you were a policeman, William."
"Well, I worked some time as a lumberjack. And as a ranch hand."
Talking with Julia was always so easy. She held her own in the conversation, as she was both well read and also loved to learn new things. He had not felt this at ease since Liza. Yet he had to admit to himself that Julia filled his mind and thoughts in a more intense way than Liza had. His relationship with Liza was so open, so easy. With Julia he did not know where he stood, and the desire to hold her, to be with her, to touch her, was that much stronger for the willpower necessary to hold back until he knew her mind.
For her part, Julia was enjoying herself, but she was also worried. They worked together, and she knew her job as coroner was at the mercy of powerful men. She loved her position and couldn't afford to jeopardize it by alienating the city's top detective. I'm fooling myself if I'm just worried about my job, Julia admitted in her thoughts. Being a lady doctor was a lonely life. She was too busy for friends, and she found most women's conversations silly and boring. She had come to depend on William's frequent visits and his friendship, and she was afraid to put that in jeopardy. Lately whenever William entered the morgue, she found that her heart rate sped up, her cheeks turned a bit pink, and she had trouble meeting his gaze. He acted as if he didn't notice, and for that she was both relieved but also (if she was being honest) slightly disappointed. William seemed attentive but was so reserved. She couldn't tell if he was just being polite and respectful or if he had feelings for her. She thought he did—the way he looked at her, the way he held her when they danced, but she couldn't be sure. Maybe he just appreciates my friendship… I don't know if he's over Liza yet, Julia thought to herself. Maybe it's too soon.
For his part, Murdoch had eyes for no one but Julia, but she kept her feelings so close to her chest, it was impossible for him to tell how much she cared. And such a lovely chest it was, he thought longingly. And that hair, how it flowed down her back when she let it, and her smile, and her laugh…. but he couldn't tell if she had feelings for him, or if she merely appreciated his friendship. He was determined not to be made a fool. Why would she be interested in me? I am just a policeman. A Catholic. I live in a boarding house, he told himself, filled with self-doubt. How could a woman like Julia ever care for me?
And so it was that these two very reserved people, falling deeply in love, spent their time growing ever closer, but without declaring their feelings for one another.
Eventually the conversation turned to the Dinosaur Ball that coming weekend. "We should thank the Inspector for the tickets," William explained.
"The Inspector?" laughed Juliia. "It was his idea for you to ask me?"
"Well, no, he just gave me the tickets. The invitation was my idea. And the dance lessons," William insisted. He didn't want her to think that he only asked her at the Inspector's bidding. Her questions suddenly made him feel a bit uneasy. Would she rather think that the Inspector had prompted his request? Perhaps the Inspector had bid her to say "yes"?
"Well, I have certainly enjoyed the dance lessons." Julia smiled, and William felt a wave of relief.
He looked into her eyes, "As have I."
There was a pause, and William said softly, "And I am very much looking forward to the ball."
"As am I," Julia replied softly.
Murdoch wanted nothing more than to lean forward a bit more and kiss her, but he lost his nerve. "It's getting late," he said as he stood up quickly, wanting to hide his embarrassment at being so insecure. "I should be getting back."
"Oh" said Julia. "Of course." Was it something I said? She wondered. Was it something I did?
They walked towards the front door. William took her hand, and he leaned forward to kiss it.
"Dinner was lovely. Thank you for a wonderful evening." He looked into her eyes as he spoke. She was determined to meet his gaze.
"Thank you for coming, Detective."
"Yes, Doctor, anytime."
Julia closed the door behind him and William berated himself for his cowardice. He didn't understand why he held back, why he didn't take her in his arms as he desired so strongly. He supposed he was afraid to face her, day after day at work, if she turned down his advances. She meant so much to him now- the stakes were ever and ever higher—it was harder and harder for him to declare his feelings.
For her part, Julia leaned against the door after he left and sighed a long sigh. He looked as though he wanted to kiss her, but he never did. I don't understand she thought wildly. I was almost certain that he cared. She would pick out something especially fetching to wear to the Dinosaur Ball. Perhaps that would finally be the night he would look into her eyes and his lips would meet hers… her legs felt weak thinking of his kiss, and she hurried down the hall to change into her night clothes and bury her dreams of him in her sleep.
