Chapter 5: It's Been a Long, Long Time

The next day went by in a blur. After calling Dr. Antlerson and making an appointment for early next week, Nick and Judy had taken Clementine out shopping. Their priority was buying the kit more clothes, as there hadn't been much at her old house for her to keep. The only things that had been recovered from there were her pink backpack and the few clothes stuffed within. They ended up putting on an impromptu fashion show, as Clem and Judy tried out dozens of outfits. Nick, for his part, was committed to making his girls laugh as much as possible by trying on more and more ridiculous outfits with absurd color combinations, all the while acting like a posh aristocat putting on airs.

Once they were done building a mountain of clothes to take home, they finished their shopping spree by buying more essential things, like groceries and toiletries for Clem. They also bought Clem extra notepads, a coloring book, and some art supplies, because she had taken to doodling in her notepad when she wasn't actively talking with it. After they got home and put everything away, they spent the rest of the day watching movies on their couch. Thankfully for Nick, Clementine was willing to give other movies a try, instead of just watching The Wizard of Paws again. The following day, after waking up a bit earlier than usual and watching the sun rise through his window, Nick donned some striped pajamas and set about making his girls breakfast.

Nick fancied himself a better-than-average cook. He couldn't prepare any gourmet cuisine, but he knew how to make simple things well enough to make them distinctive. Whipping up some pancake batter, he heard heavy footfalls plopping down the stairs. A moment later Judy appeared next to him in the kitchen, dressed in a silk nightgown, bleary-eyed and yawning. As Nick poured the pancake batter into a pan, Judy's eyes began to flutter open.

"What ya doin', Slick?" she asked dimly, still waking up.

"What's it look like I'm doin', fluff?" he asked back.

Judy sniffed at the pancake batter as it started cooking in the pan. The scent seemed to remove the last of the fog from her mind. "It looks like you're making breakfast."

"What? That doesn't sound like me," Nick teased.

"You're right, I must be dreaming."

Nick reached over and delicately pinched her tail. She squeaked and delivered a quick jab to his arm.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

"I was seeing if you were dreaming," he said with a wink, "and it seems you're awake."

She scowled, but the corner of her mouth quirked upward. "I'm supposed to pinch myself, dummy."

"Oh, yeah," he said dryly, "I always get that wrong. You mind waking Clem up for me?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied. As she turned away, Nick pinched her again. She jumped half a foot into the air with a yelp, then fixed him with a playful glare while she rubbed the spot he pinched. Nick busied himself with the pancakes, whistling as he worked, pretending not to notice her.

When she returned with Clementine, they took their seats at the dining table. Clementine's fur was sticking up in every direction, and she kept rubbing her eyes in an attempt to rub the sleep away. Her tongue lolled out as she released a massive yawn, releasing a soft whine. As Nick finished preparing the food, he brought the plates over, and served everyone drinks as well. Judy accepted a glass of carrot juice from him, rubbing her thumb over his fingers as she did, and Clementine greedily gulped down half her glass of orange juice as soon as it was set in front of her. Sitting down, Nick looked up to see Clementine lifting up her notepad for him. Thank you.

"My pleasure, sweetheart. Sleep well?" he asked. Clementine nodded with a big smile, then sniffed at the food in front of her. Nick had kept it simple, making everybody blueberry pancakes drizzled with syrup, and avocado toast.

"What're you, a hipster?" Judy laughed, indicating the toast.

"Hey, I liked avocado toast before it was cool," he responded with a wave of his finger.

"That's a yes." Judy took a bite out of the toast, eliciting an appreciative hmm. Swallowing, she said, "The honey's a nice touch."

"Thank you, madam," Nick accepted the compliment, doing his best to bow melodramatically while sitting at a table.

The trio ate the rest of the meal in silence, with the exception of Clementine's satisfied murmuring as she gobbled down her food. Finishing well before the two adults, she took up drawing in her notepad, humming Que sera, sera absently. She had requested that Nick sing it to her again last night, and it was apparent that it was now her favorite song. Once the grownups were done, Judy offered to wash the dishes since Nick had made the meal. As she retreated to the kitchen, Clementine held up her notepad for Nick. Blueberries are my favorite.

Nicks eyes lit up as he smiled. "Really? Mine too."

Clementine grinned, then started drawing in her notepad again. Nick watched her work for a minute, mulling over an idea he'd had. "Say," he asked, "would you like to meet my mom?" Clementine pondered the question for a moment, tapping her pen against her chin, then nodded happily. "Great," he said, and went to his and Judy's room to retrieve his phone. When he returned, he found Judy looking over Clem's shoulder as she drew. She had a hand on the kits back, whispering encouragement into her ear.

"Hey, fluff, I had an idea," he said by way of greeting. "I'd like to introduce Clem to my mom. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea," she chirped. "You gonna call her?"

"Yep," he said, waving his phone at her. As he retook his seat at the table, he pressed the button to speed-dial his mom. When she answered, he set the phone to 'speaker'.

"Nicky," his mother crowed on the other end of the line, "I wasn't expecting you to call today. How are you, dear?"

"All quiet on the home front," he answered, although now that he thought about it, he supposed that wasn't technically true. A lot had changed, after all. That's partially what this call was about, anyway.

"Mom, you're on speaker," he warned, "and I've got Judy with me."

"Hi, Mrs. Wilde," Judy greeted with a wave, even though she was waving at a phone and Mrs. Wilde couldn't see her. Nick snickered at the sight.

"Judy, how many times do I need to tell you to call me 'Marian', not 'Mrs. Wilde,'" the vixen admonished playfully.

"At least once more, Mrs. Wilde," Judy giggled. That was the game they always played whenever it had been a while since they'd seen each other. Since Marian lived in the city, Judy had had more opportunities to see her than Nick had to see Judy's parents. They'd quickly taken a liking to each other, and it didn't hurt that Judy was the reason Nick had reestablished contact with his estranged mother in the first place.

"Well, I assume you two didn't call just to remind me I'm old," Marian huffed, "What can I do for you, dearies?"

Nick briefly debated whether or not to tell her about Clementine, but decided he'd rather do it in person. "There's some stuff we need to talk about. Are you free today?"

"I was going to spend the day with Vivian, but I can reschedule if I have to. What's wrong?" she asked, worry coloring her voice.

"Nothing's wrong, mom, but give me a sec," he said, putting the phone on mute. "How does a day with the golden girls sound?" he asked, glancing between Judy and Clem.

"Sounds nice to me, but who's Vivian?" Judy inquired.

Vivian Karsak was his mother's best friend, which was surprising since the corsac fox's abrasive attitude would seem to clash with Marian's boisterous personality. Where Marian was an optimist, Vivian was a pessimist, but she was honest to a fault and loyal to the end once you earned her trust. When he was growing up, Vivian had often babysat him; she had been like an aunt to him. When he'd reestablished his relationship with his mother, Vivian had been less forgiving than Marian, and had made that abundantly clear the one time he'd seen her since his desertion.

Nick missed his funny, cynical aunt, and was looking forward to mending bridges with her. He didn't want to open that can of worms with Judy right now, though, so he kept his answer simple. "She's an old family friend," he said dismissively. He turned to the kit. "Clem?"

Clementine blinked, then turned a page in her notepad. Is she nice? she asked. "She's nice…in her own way," Nick hedged. Clem shrugged, seemingly satisfied, and went back to drawing. Nick unmuted the phone. "Mom, how about we join you and Viv for the day?"

"You're saying you want to join a couple of old women while they waltz about town?" Marian asked skeptically.

"No," Nick replied, "I'm saying we want to join some fine, young ladies for a nice day in the sun."

Nick could hear his mother's blush over the phone. "Such a charmer. Alright, if you insist. Viv and I were planning on leaving in an hour."

"We'll be there in thirty," Nick said.

"Sounds good, Nicky, I can't wait," she cooed.


Part of the reason Nick had stayed away from his mother for the better part of his life was because she still lived in the same apartment that he'd grown up in. The area held so many memories for Nick, and it was always the bad memories that came to mind. His muzzling at the hands of the Junior Ranger Scouts wasn't the first time he'd been mistreated because of his species; it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Or the fox's back, in this case.

Shortly after that incident he'd ran away from home, because his mother hadn't approved of his new philosophical outlook on life. He'd been angry at the world for hating him just because he was a fox, and he'd been angry at his mom for lying to him, convincing him that they could change the world's opinion, one interaction at a time. It didn't take long for him to regret cutting ties with his mother, but by that point he'd thought the bridge completely burned down.

That was until Judy Hopps came into his life.

One day, after pleading with him to tell her about his family, he'd told her that he hadn't spoken to his mother in twenty years. She hadn't believed him at first. Bunny families are so interconnected and enmeshed together that the idea of not seeing your mother for twenty years was completely foreign to her. He'd managed to convince her of the truth, and then she proceeded to drag him to his mother's place for a reunion two decades in the making.

When they'd arrived, Nick didn't know what to expect. The only thing he knew about his mother since he'd left was that she'd never moved in all that time. He'd imagined a lot of different scenarios in his head. There was the one where, upon seeing him, his mother burst into tears, collapsing in the doorway. Then there was the one where she slapped him across the face and told him she never wanted to see him again. He'd even imagined a scenario in which she'd remarried, had other kits and moved on with her life. Instead, when she opened the door for them that first time, she'd greeted him like he'd only been gone for a day and welcomed him back into her life with open arms. She didn't even cry.

When Nick saw his childhood home for the first time in twenty years, he'd marveled at how much it looked the same. It was as if he'd stepped into a time machine centered right in his old apartment. There was the green wallpaper with the leaf design, over there were the aged, familiar stairs that lead to the second floor, and his mom still had that white, rotary dial phone that was outdated even twenty years ago.

There was only one new addition to the place; a photograph, surrounded by older pictures of him as a kit. It was a photo of Judy pinning his badge to his chest, at his graduation ceremony. His mother had secretly been a member of the audience, and had taken the picture herself. When he'd asked why she hadn't talked to him then, she'd told him, "You weren't ready for me yet." At that, Nick embraced his mother tightly like he was still a child and no time had passed at all.

He would forever be grateful to Judy for making him open up about his mother. The feeling was sullied, however, because he hadn't told her about his father.


They took the bus to Marian's apartment like normal, but this was the first time they did it with a kit in tow. "We need a car," Judy announced, fiddling with her ear as she eyed the other animals in the cramped bus nervously. She and Nick agreed that they would begin the search tomorrow, but today was a day for fun.

Clem had chosen a light-blue dress to wear for the day, and liked watching the skirt of her dress sway with her as she twirled around. Judy had opted for a blue and red, plaid shirt and jeans, the type of outfit she was most comfortable in when she wasn't in uniform. Nick was wearing a dark, green polo with black slacks. For some extra flare the Tod had also adorned his aviator sunglasses, which he would flick onto his eyebrows to wink at his girls whenever he made a stupid joke.

When they stepped onto the curb at their bus stop in, the streets were as packed as ever, with mammals big and small vying for a route through the crowd. Nick and Judy both kept a tight grip on Clementine's hands as they navigated through the congested sidewalk. Thankfully the crowed thinned as they approached Marian's apartment, until there was only a trickle of mammals nearby.

The outside of the apartment building was much the same as it had always been, maintained well enough that it didn't fall into degradation. It was a duplex, one in a line duplex's mashed together. Squat and unassuming, it was painted a dark grey and it was in a fairly out-of-the-way location. For the most part the only other animals around would be those that lived in any of the other Duplex's nearby. Without delay, Nick ascended the short flight of stairs that separated her door from the street and rang the bell.

The door sprung open as Marian, clad in a white blouse and green skirt, cried, "Nicky!" and enveloped her son in a crushing bear hug. Judy held Clem's hand as they stood respectfully at the foot of the stairs, waiting for Marian to stop doting on her son. When he managed to convince her that, yes, he was fine, the vixen approached the rabbit doe with outstretched arms. "And Judy, how are you-oh?" she stopped in her tracks as she noticed the orange, fox kit standing next to the doe. "Hello there, darling. Who might you be?"

"Her name's Clementine, Mrs. Wilde," Judy answered for the girl.

Marian tsked at Judy with a wave of her finger. "Now, now. We already went through that song and dance today."

Clementine waved shyly at the matronly vixen. "Clementine…" Marian murmured, as if trying the name out on her tongue. She bent down and patted the kit on the head. "Such a pretty name, to match such a pretty, little lady." Clementine giggled bashfully at the compliment.

"That's actually one of the things we'd like to talk about, mom," Nick interjected, removing his sunglasses and hanging them on his collar. "May we come in?"

Marian's back went straight. "Oh, of course! Where are my manners?" she chided herself, ushering the trio into her home.

The door clicked shut behind them as they entered the living room. Nothing had changed since the last time Nick and Judy had been there, besides the fact that there was the scent of lilies in the air, emanating from a vase on a nearby cabinet. Deeper into Marian's abode, Nick spotted the mirror where his mother helped him get ready for the Scouts, all those years ago. Nick shook his head, burying the memory in the back of his mind where it belonged. Once they were settled inside, Marian looked at her son expectantly. Nick directed a nervous glance first at Clementine, then at Judy, who took his meaning.

"Hey, Clem, let's let them talk for a bit. Why don't you show me your drawings?" she implored. Clementine nodded blithely, and started flipping pages in her notebook while Judy directed her over to the sofa. Nick turned back to his mother, who was looking even more impatient now, and took a deep breath.

"So, big news. Judy and I are dating." Nick barely had time to finish understating before Marian reacted. She shrieked as she wrapped her arms around Nick in another bear hug, lifting him off the ground and spinning him around in excitement. The Tod went stiff as she twirled him around, not sure how to react. When she set him down, laughing, she and Nick met eyes with the rabbit and fox kit watching them from the sofa. Clem stared wide-eyed at the display, while Judy gave them both a knowing smirk.

With a hand to her mouth, Marian gave them an abashed look. "Erm…sorry," she tittered, trying to catch her breath.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "I take it you approve?" he chuckled.

"Approve?" she echoed as she clasped her hands together. "I've been waiting for this day since I met her!"

"That long, huh?" Nick smirked. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Apology accepted," she retorted.

"You really, erm…don't think it's weird?" Nick probed apprehensively.

Marian cocked her head. "I don't follow."

Nick rolled his eyes. "You know…" he said as he began motioning erratically between himself and Judy. When it looked as if she still didn't get it Nick huffed a sigh. "A fox and bunny? Different species, predator and prey, mortal enemies?"

Now understanding, Marian glowered in disappointment and placed her fists on her hips. "Nicholas Piberius Wilde, do you take me for some kind of bigot?"

Nick groaned. "Not my full name, ma-"

Marian cut him off indignantly. "Because foxes don't get enough hate in this world on their own, so I'm supposed to add to it?"

"No, mom-"

"Nicholas, you're an idiot."

"I tell him that every day, Marian," Judy piped in. Nick shot her a glare. You're not helping, it said. Judy met his glare with a cheeky grin. That's the idea. Nick looked heavenward and threw his arms up in surrender. "Okay, I get it, I'm a dumb fox."

"As long as you're honest with yourself, Nicky," his mother said sweetly, looking for all the world as if she hadn't been upset with her son moments ago. Outwardly he was scowling, but internally Nick was relieved. He'd expected her to be open-minded, but it still felt nice to have confirmation.

"There's more," he started.

"I'd imagine so," Marian answered, glancing at Clementine. Nick nodded solemnly, and began describing how he'd found her, and what condition she was in. Shock and horror contorted his mother's face, but as he told her about their decision to raise Clementine it eased into a melancholic smile. By the time he got to the present, her eyes were glistening.

"Oh, Nicky, that's…" her voice wavered. She looked wistfully at Clementine, who was caught up shading in her latest drawing, and writing down responses to anything Judy said. Her smile grew brighter as she searched for words, settling on, "That's so good of you."

"Thanks, mom," Nick said, watching Clementine draw along with his mother. He could watch her for hours if he had to. Clementine looked so happy, and Nick considered it a personal pleasure watching Judy fawn over the kit like she'd been doing it her whole life. Considering how many siblings the rabbit had, she likely had lots of experience.

"Your dad would be so proud," Marian added. Nick's face fell at the mention of his father. The pleasure he'd felt while watching Clementine was replaced by a dull ache in his chest, a void he'd long buried but never filled. When he didn't respond, his mother placed a gentle hand on his arm.

"I know his death hit you hard…and I know I wasn't able to help you deal with it when you needed me to…" her breath hitched. Nick snapped his head, eyes darting to meet his mother's. She quickly cast her eyes downward, but not before he could see the glossiness in her eyes.

"…What?" he sputtered, the suddenness of her confession catching him off guard.

She took a deep breath. "Your father was an exceptional mammal," she began. "He was always so kind and gentle with everyone he met. He'd sooner die then say a bad word about anyone, let alone lift a finger against them. And then he did die," she said with a bitter, mirthless laugh, "just because he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Nick made to hug his mother. "Mom…" he started, but Marian stamped her foot and shook his arms away. "Stop!" she said brusquely. She seethed through clenched teeth; her eyes clamped shut. "I need to get this out."

Nick's heart was pounding in his chest. He'd only ever seen her this distraught on two prior occasions; once when they'd learned about his father's death, and again when they lowered his casket into the ground. He didn't know how to act, and so watched helplessly as Marian took his hand and began idly playing with his fingers.

The first wave of tears started marching down her face. "Robin was a bright light, surrounded by a world of darkness," she said, grimacing through the tears. "He's the reason I didn't give up on this world. That, and you. I tried so hard to live by his example, to be the mother you deserved, but it was so hard without Robin. I…" she wavered, and she shook her head as if trying to shake her tears off her face. "I failed, and I'm so sorry, Nicky."

Nick wanted to respond, but his words caught in his throat and all that came out was a muted groan. Marian didn't notice. She stopped playing with his fingers and brought his hand up to her chest, clutching it tight over her heart.

Voice cracking, she continued. "When I said goodbye to him that morning, I didn't know it was going to be the last time. There's so much I would've said." Nick could tell she was near her breaking point, barely holding it together. "And then…" her breath shuddered as she sighed. "And then, not long after that…you left." Her words pierced his heart, sending a pang of anguish coursing through his body. Instinctually he felt the urge to run, but he clamped it down viciously. He needed to be here for his mother now.

"You left," she repeated, almost as a question, as if she still didn't believe it, "and I didn't even get to say goodbye!"

Her knees buckled as she started crying in earnest, and she would have collapsed to the floor had Nick not caught her in time. He guided her down to her knees and gave her the most comforting hug he could muster. She wrapped her arms around him gratefully, pawing at the back of his shirt in desperation. Her muzzle buried itself into his neck, dampening his fur with her tears.

A rush of dismay blew through Nick. He had no idea how to comfort the vixen in his arms. He'd always thought of his mother as one of the strongest mammals he'd ever known, but he hadn't even seen her for most of his life. He had no idea how she'd coped with first her husband's death and then her son's absence, and it'd been foolish for him to assume that she was fine with everything that had happened.

His train of thought was violently derailed as Marian, stifling her cries for a moment, pulled back slightly so that she could cup his face with both hands. Sniffling, she graced him with a wet smile as tears continued to stream down her face. Her eyes shone with an overwhelming sense of adoration for her son, but Nick's mind filled with an overpowering sense of loathing for himself. He'd been so wrapped up in his own issues he'd never considered how hurt his mother must've been. He felt sick, like his body was trying to punish him for his thoughtlessness.

"And now my boy's all grown up," Marian said haltingly, ignorant to his inner turmoil. Her eyes were glazed, as if she were talking past him. "He cleaned himself up, got himself a beautiful girlfriend who loves him," she chuckled, her voice getting nasally as her nose clogged up with snot. "He's raising his own kit, now. He became the first fox to join the ZPD, for god's sake!" Her eyes refocused, and she frowned. Even though her mouth barely formed the expression, it seemed to contain more sadness than all the tears she had shed. It was simple, because that's all it had to be. When she spoke again, she was whispering so quietly that Nick had to strain to hear her, like she was sharing a secret she'd never wanted to keep. "And you did it all without me."

Panic clamped down on Nick's throat. He couldn't breathe. He knew he had to say something, anything, to console his mother and assure her that he loved her, but nothing he could think of seemed remotely enough. He had spent twenty years running away, hating the world, only to fail upward into a decent life he was now proud to call his. Meanwhile, his mother had spent the same amount of time alone, blaming herself, thinking it was her fault that he'd ran away, that she'd failed him, when all she ever did was try to help him see the light, to be a better mammal, to always do the right thing.

Despairing, Nick realized that she was right. He did run away because of his mom, but not because she failed him. In reality he'd failed. She put on a strong front, living by her husband's example, while he couldn't have been bothered. He'd ran away because without his father Nick stopped believing that the world could change, that it was worth changing, while his mother had strived to prove her husband right.

His muzzling at the hands of the Junior Ranger Scouts seemed like a non-event, now. They were kids, and they bullied another kid. That's what kids do. They didn't hurt him, not really, they barely even touched him. If something so small and insignificant could leave such a mark, and inadvertently cause him to hurt his mother as terribly as he did when she needed him just as much as he needed her, what on earth gave him the idea that he could be there for a kit who had suffered much worse than he did?

Nick sank into this pit of self-hatred in an instant. Before he could even catch his breath, Clementine was there, blanketing both Nick and his mother in a hug. The kit couldn't reach around the both of them, but what she lacked in size she made up for in effort. Nick could feel her squeezing them together, as if she thought that if she could just scrunch them up enough in her arms, she could make all the pain go away. Thanks to the kit, Nick and the elder vixen were forced back into a hug of their own. Judy, meanwhile, had planted herself behind Marian, hugging her back.

Nick had forgotten that Judy and Clem were even here, focused as he was on the bombshell of revelations he'd made thanks to his mother. They had no doubt heard everything, but they'd let Marian say what she needed to.

As she melted into the arms of everyone around her, Marian's tears came freely once more. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I didn't mean to…" Judy hushed into her ear, giving her reassurances and telling her that everything would be alright. They all let Marian cry as they sat on the floor.

Softly, Clementine started humming. Nick recognized it as the song he sang her to sleep with; her favorite song. She was humming it in the same soothing tones that Nick would sing to her with. As she hummed, Marian' cries grew fainter and fainter, until they eventually abated. As Clementine neared the end, Marian's haggard voice sang the last line with her. "Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be…"

She let out a bubbly, mucous-filled laugh, the sound more like music to Nick's ears than the humming had been. They all pulled apart as Marian shifted, and she caressed Clementine's cheek. "Where did you learn that song?" she asked, joy and bafflement mingling together in her voice. Clementine cast her eyes at Nick, and Marian followed her gaze.

"I, uh…" he chuckled nervously, suddenly put on the spot. "I sing it to her at night."

Marian wiped the last of the tears from her eyes, which were red from her crying. "Your father used to sing that to me all the time," she said fondly, "I didn't think you'd remember that." Nick made to say he didn't, but a memory flashed in his mind's eye so vividly he couldn't imagine how he'd forgotten it.

He was a kit, peeking around a corner into the kitchen of his home, watching his parents as they worked together to make dinner. His father was dressed in a white, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a tie undone and hanging around his neck. As his father finished chopping something, he made to wipe his hands off on his slacks, but caught himself and used a nearby dishrag instead. His mother, wearing a purple sweater and red skirt, was watching over him with an approving eye. He whispered something into her ear, causing her to bark out a laugh. They embraced, then started swaying to a piece of music only they could hear. His father spun his mother around, and began singing. They danced; their eyes filled with a love that, even as a kit, Nick knew could only be felt rather than described.

The song he'd heard his father sing that day, and many other days, was the same song he'd sung to Clementine only a few nights ago. It was buried deep into his subconscious but, somehow, he was able to find it when he needed it, as if some part of his father was still with him, and had uncovered the song for him.

Nick chuffed in bewilderment. "Yeah. I guess I do." Marian gave him an endearing smile as he scratched behind Clementine's ears affectionately. "Mom," he started, "I'm…I'm sorry. I was such an idiot for so long, and- "

A rapid series of knocks at the front door ended the moment, and Marian's head sprung to the nearest clock hanging on a wall. "Oh, goodness me, that's probably Viv," she announced, jumping from the floor and making her way to the mirror. She quickly did her best to fix her fur, which had become matted from the crying, and make herself look presentable. Nick helped Judy and Clem to their feet, and gave them both an appreciative hug. Another set of knocking convinced Marian that she'd done the best she could do, and she bounded for the door.

Nick was partly thankful for the interruption. He'd hurt his mother more than he'd ever imagined, and it would take more than words and a nice song to heal those wounds. Rallying himself after the emotional ordeal he'd just been through, Nick vowed to make the rest of this day a great one. Not just for his mother, but for Judy and Clem as well. Clem deserved a little bit of happiness after what she'd been through, and Judy was the whole reason any of this had even happened. Thinking of them, he gripped Judy's hand with one of his own and stroked the back of Clem's head with the other. The looks they gave him in return almost convinced him that he deserved their affection, but he didn't really believe it.

With a sense of purpose, Nick stood just a little bit taller as Marian welcomed Vivian into her home. Today was going to be about all the women that mattered most in his life, but the first obstacle would be Vivian. Nick cared for her, but if one ever lost her trust, it was almost impossible to gain it back. Judging by the look on her face as she saw him, Nick definitely faced an uphill battle.

But he would get through it, and prove to himself and everybody else that he'd changed. Vivian might remain unconvinced for some time, but he would get through that, too.


A/N: Thank you again to everyone who's read, favorited, followed and reviewed thus far. Also, my apologies, but this is a bit of a long author's note.

The larger story is beginning to form, and I think I've found my voice for this tale. I, of course, still have space to improve, but I'm looking forward to going on this journey with you all. I think the next chapter will be the end of what I'm calling "The Beginning", where I establish most, if not all, of the principal characters, ideas and themes I want to discuss here.

We've also reached the end of my buffer. As I write this I only have the beginning of a foundation for the next chapter, so the next one will probably come out later than the rapid fire pace of these first chapters. I will say, however, that this story has completely taken control of my life, which also explains the speed of these earlier chapters in the first place. I am basically obsessed with writing this story, for better or worse, so we'll see if I can keep writing these at a decent pace. I hope so, anyway. I'll say the ultimate goal is to finish this in the next 4-5 months, which I think is feasible. The story has developed more than I ever anticipated, though, so who's to say.

I have roughly the last 6 chapters, plus an epilogue, pretty much set in stone. I know the broad strokes, at least, they just need to be fleshed out. The nebulous part is the middle, where all the development happens. The strokes here are even broader, but I know definitively where I need to end up, so I'm hoping it wont be too hard to figure it out. This story was originally intended to be a short affair, a thing to satisfy my, perhaps unhealthy, craving for WildeHopps stories. But, as I poured more thought into it, I realized there was a lot more I needed to make the story more emotionally resonant, or to explain plot holes, or even just to make it satisfying to read.

Speaking of which, I've realized that this story is going to be predominantly Nick's story. Judy will have her time in the sun, in fact the next chapter will likely be from her perspective (though please don't hold me to that, just in case), but Nick will be the driver, the catalyst, for the most part. He's got the most potential in terms of growth, because he has the least set in stone backstory. There are certain details that have been confirmed/adopted, but he's got a lot of room to work with. A quick aside, I learned pretty late that Nick's father's name was supposed to be John, and if he's ever addressed in any future Zootopia content that's the name they'll likely use, but I've always personally liked the idea of his parents being named after Robin Hood and Maid Marian, as the Disney movie provided a lot of inspiration for Zootopia, (for instance, the color of Nick's shirt).

In regards to this chapter, part of me feels like I started to lose sight of both Clem and Judy. This is a very Nick heavy chapter, but I needed to establish his relationship with his father, his mother, and his past, because that will be the focus of his growth going forward. The conflict of this story won't be entirely emotional, though. There will be some action at the end, and I can't wait to get there. But first, we have to get there.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. As always, let me know what you think.

Cheers.