Chapter 3
Emma sent a grateful smile towards the blonde haired, blue eyed man who had been her saviour to avoid having to dance with Jake. She had previously been introduced to Frank Churchill, but this was the first time she was having a direct conversation with him.
"How did you know I did not have a partner for this dance already," Emma wondered out loud.
"Your furtive glances and long pause were a good indication," Frank teased back.
"Do you think Mr. Knightley knew as well?" Emma asked with a wince.
She wanted him to know she was angry but not by making herself look like a fool.
"Oh, he most certainly did," Frank replied cheerfully. "Come now, smile and laugh and let him know you are having the most wonderful time."
"I am not trying to make him jealous," Emma hastened to add.
Frank raised his eyebrow, "I did not imply any such thing. But I am assuming there must have been some reason you did not wish to dance with him. If you want him to think you do not care, then show him that you do not care."
Emma could not help but delight in the outrageous conversation they were taking part in. She barely knew this man and yet she felt extremely comfortable in his presence. It did not hurt that he was exceptionally good looking in his evening wear.
"Well Mr. Churchill, tell me about yourself. How have you been occupying your time in Highbury?" Emma asked playfully.
"You mean besides saving fair maidens from unwanted dances?" Frank asked with a quirk of his eyebrow, "I have been spending time with my father, Lieutenant Nathan Weston."
"Oh yes. I have met Lieutenant Weston. He was friends with my friend and governess, Ms. Taylor," Emma replied enthusiastically.
Frank frowned at the mention of Ms. Taylor's name. "Yes, I have heard Ms. Taylor's name a lot this evening," he finally murmured.
Emma could feel her shoulders deflate and mentally kicked herself for bringing up the topic.
"Where is your Ms. Taylor now?" Frank asked with studied casualness.
Emma did not understand the sudden change of Frank's expression but just shrugged before replying, "I do not know for sure. I believe her parents country home is near the Scottish border."
"Interesting," Frank murmured as if deep in thought. A few moments later his expression cleared, and he had the charming smile back on his face. "and what of yourself Miss. Woodhouse? How do you keep yourself busy?"
She was curious to know what Mr. Churchill had been thinking but knew she could not ask him in such a short acquaintance. "I have a myriad of good friends around Highbury and help look after the tenants of Hartfield with my father."
"So, you are a popular one?" Frank asked teasingly.
"I could not say," Emma replied back demurely, "you would have to ask someone besides myself that question." Emma peeked out from under her lashes, "but I would not say I was unpopular."
Frank let out a surprised laugh at her comment. "Well, this has been a most enjoyable dance. I would like to call upon you sometime if you are available?"
"Well then, I will have to make myself available," Emma answered with a saucy grin. Frank was too good looking not to be flattered by his request.
"Unless you are calling tomorrow, in that case I will not be available. I am staying with my sister tonight," Emma quickly added with a laugh.
The remainder of the evening passed much too quickly with Emma pairing with different partners for every dance. She did not have to worry about Jake approaching her again as he had left soon after her dance with Frank Churchill.
The next morning, Emma hurried down the stairs of Isabella and John's townhouse, in her typical haste to get to the breakfast room. It had always been thus that regardless of how much she had eaten the night before, her stomach was always rumbling and demanding food first thing in the morning. She quickly entered the room only to come to a complete halt upon seeing Jake Knightley buttering a scone while chatting with Isabella and John.
Emma completely ignored the 'good mornings' from her brother and sister, and just stared at Jake before rudely blurting out, "what are you doing here?"
"I would think the same thing that you were about to do and partaking in some breakfast," Jake replied calmly.
Emma crossed her arms, "this is not your home. Are you here because I refused to dance with you last night?"
Jake let out a laugh, "you flatter yourself too much Madam. I was tired and decided to spend the night here instead of doing the long ride back to Donwell. Besides, this is not your home either. However, now that I am here, I can drive you home."
Emma could feel her breathing increase in anger at his presumption. Never mind, that they had played out this scene countless times in the past and it would generally be understood that Jake would take Emma home. She was not in the mood for their lighthearted relationship from the past. Jake was not even acting overly guilty or affected by his broken engagement. It was as though everything was as it had always been, and he had just been away on a holiday these past months. Did he truly expect everyone around him to just forget the injustice he had served to Ms. Taylor and pretend as if he had not broken a promise?
"No thank you. I have already arranged for John to take me home," Emma stated while trying to keep her voice cool and indifferent. "Besides, since you are no longer an engaged man, I do not think it is a good idea to be alone in a carriage with you."
Jake stiffened at her words. He stared at her quietly for a few moments before replying. "It is an open carriage, as you well know. I have never acted in a way that could be considered untoward towards a lady regardless of how close a familial relationship we might share."
Emma let out an unladylike snort in response. "I hope you are not implying that we currently share a close relationship. Your actions of these past few months have made me reconsider if that is a relationship I should choose to continue."
The complete silence that followed this made Emma want to take back her statement. It had sounded dramatic and cutting when she was saying it, but she had not thought it would lead to this reaction from everyone in the room. She quickly peeked at her sister who was looking at her with shock and dismay, while her brother-in-law just seemed angry. However, it was the blank and desolate look in Jake's eyes that made Emma want to immediately apologize.
As angry as she was at Jake, they shared a lifetime of memories and close ties that were hard to forget. Her friendship with Jake was longer than the one she had shared with Ms. Taylor and despite their twelve-year age gap, she had always known he was there for her. Jake had been her protector and her confidante over the years. Whereas he probably viewed me as nothing but a silly girl all these years, Emma thought bitterly. Jake had not shared any of his thoughts or problems the way she would have if deciding to take such a drastic step in her life.
Emma hardened her heart and turned away from Jake before addressing her brother-in-law, "John, I would like to leave promptly after breakfast, if you may."
John shook his head before replying, "I am afraid I have an appointment that will take most of the morning. I did not think it would be an issue when Jake was staying over and agreed to the timing of the appointment."
Emma could feel tears burning in her eyes as she slowly made her way to the breakfast buffet to avoid looking at the rest of the table. She did not protest John's plan, but she also did not acknowledge it with a reply, instead choosing to eat her breakfast in silence.
It was just over an hour later that Jake and Emma were entering the open carriage in complete silence for the drive back to their homes. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining down and with the steady sound of the horses it should have been peaceful, but the tension between the two carriage occupants was thick and heavy.
"I am sorry. If I had known you would have such a strong aversion to my presence, I would not have stayed the night, nor would I have offered to drive you home," Jake said stonily.
"It is your brothers' home. You may do as you please. Besides, I do not wish to converse and just want to get home," Emma replied in a flat tone.
Jake could not take this anymore and suddenly pulled on the reins and brought the carriage to a complete stop. They were pulled over on a deserted country road and Jake knew he needed to figure out what was going through his young friend's head. He could never handle when Emma was angry with him even for trivial matter's, but this was something significant and knew he would not have any peace until she had forgiven him.
"What are you doing? Why have you stopped?" Emma demanded angrily.
"We need to talk. It is obvious you are angry, but I need to know why so I can properly defend myself." Jake replied while looking at her.
"Really? And you cannot think of anything major that has occurred while you were away that might make me upset?" Emma asked sarcastically.
Now that the dam had broken, it was as though all her thoughts were streaming free. "How could you do this Jake? How could you break your engagement like that? Why? Was she not good enough for you? Is that what it was? We spent so many hours together and not once did you indicate you were planning on doing something like this. Do you know she wrote me a letter and said she will never be able to come back to Highbury because of you? You saw how it was yesterday, just imagine how it would be for Ms. Taylor to have to deal with a broken engagement from the most eligible man in the county. You know what people said when you got engaged? She was reaching too high; she was not good enough for you. Now you have proven them all correct. I cannot forgive you this."
"You think these are the reasons why I broke the engagement?" Jake asked.
He could feel the familiar rush of anger that accompanied him every time his fiancés name came up, but this time it was further multiplied to think Emma held him responsible.
"I was fully prepared to go through with the marriage. All of the things you stated had nothing to do with why it ended." Jake knew he was starting to raise his voice, but he could not seem to control his temper.
"Does it matter? The truth is it did end, and will you deny that you were the one who ended it?" Emma asked matching his angry tone.
"No. You are right. I did end it, but I had my reasons," Jake answered forcefully.
"Then tell me those reasons," Emma demanded.
It was as if the air had gone out from him and where just a moment before he was inflated in his anger, now he turned so he was facing away from Emma. It would be easy to just confide in her and tell her everything that had happened, but he knew how close she had been to Anne. He did not want to be the one to shatter the image she had of her governess. Emma was also an unmarried, young woman, and there were things he could not share with her while remaining in the bounds of propriety. Yet the thought of Emma being so upset and him being the cause was difficult.
Emma had never noticed the strain and tension in the engagement, all she had focused on was the excitement and fun aspects of their outings. It was an unspoken agreement to always put on a united front with Emma present as both people had not wanted to worry their young friend. There had been very few times when Emma had not been around as she was the buffer and glue that held them together. The few times without Emma, had been awkward with long silences and stilted conversations. It would have shocked Emma to know all the outings he had planned had been for Emma's benefit and not Anne's. However, none of those things had been factors on his ending the engagement.
"I cannot. I cannot tell you."
Emma was quiet for a few moments before finally replying in a toneless voice, "then I guess we have nothing further to discuss. You know I had always thought of you as my closest friend, I would never have admitted to this, but I even placed you above Izzy. It is eye opening to realize that you do not think of me in the same terms."
Jake looked at Emma bleakly, "I do Emma. My closest friend and so much more but there are so many things you do not understand. The reason why we got engaged, the reason why it ended. I had resigned myself to making it work and marry Ms. Taylor but there were forces at play which no longer made it possible. You are so young and innocent, and I cannot break your heart anymore than is already breaking."
Jake reached over to take her gloved hand in his hands, "you have known me your entire life. I am not one to make sudden decisions or go back on my word. Can you not trust me and just know that I had my reasons?"
Emma looked at him sadly before whispering, "but reasons you cannot share with me? You say you do not want to break my heart; do you not realize that this is breaking my heart?"
Jake did not know what to say so in the end he just sat in silence. He wanted to scream at her regarding the unfairness of it all, him trying to protect Anne even now, or his need to shelter Emma from the truth, but he did not say any of it. They both continued to stare at each other, and Jake could feel his heart constricting as Emma's eyes filled with tears.
"There is nothing further to say then Jake. All I know is that my dear friend Ms. Taylor has been abandoned and discarded and will not be able to show her face in Highbury again. You say you had reasons, but I see no proof of them, and the result is still the same. I cannot forgive you for these actions."
Jake gave a single nod and turned towards the horses to continue the remaining journey home in complete and utter silence.
