Chapter 12

"Isabella, what are you doing here?" Emma asked the next morning as she stumbled down the stairs.

She could not remember ever being this tired before, although she had spent most of the evening just lying-in bed. Emma had refused to come down for dinner, just telling her father she was not feeling well when he had personally come knocking at her door. However, now her stomach forced her to make an appearance at the breakfast table.

Isabella arched an eyebrow, "I believe congratulations are in order, my dear sister."

Emma set down her plate. Her stomach suddenly felt queasy at the thought of food, "I am… I am not sure what you mean."

"I mean of your impending nuptials to Jake," Isabella replied pointedly.

Emma swallowed. She was too afraid to look at her sister and it was hard to tell what Isabella was thinking from the tone of her voice.

"But Mr. Knightley is in love with Jane Fairfax," Emma finally choked out.

"I do not think that matters anymore," Isabella replied on a sigh. "You both should have thought about that before being caught in an embrace by Mr. Elton, of all people. Especially when he was coming for a scheduled appointment."

"I did not know he was coming. And it was not that kind of embrace," Emma whispered while studying her hands.

"Again, does that matter?" Isabella cried out, "you should have known better. You are not a child anymore. We have been too lenient with you, but you know what must be done."

Emma blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay, "but he does not love me. I do not want him thrust into another unwanted betrothal to save someone's reputation. Ms. Taylor tried to trap him into marriage, and he told me how bitter he was about it. He will think I have done the same and I will know I have destroyed his chance at happiness. I could not live with that constant guilt and accusation. Besides, he has not asked." Emma could not keep her voice from breaking at this last part, wanting to deny what her sister was saying.

Isabella studied her with pity, "I am sorry. I know you harbored dreams of a love match, but Jake will make you a good husband." Isabella paused for a few moments, "Father tells me that Jake explained the situation and offered for you last night. Father accepted on your behalf and a plan has been set in motion to minimize any damage."

Emma looked up with a sharp gasp. How dare they make these decisions without my input. I will simply turn him down and live with the consequences.

Emma wanted to yell at her sister that everyone was being ridiculous. How could she allow Jake to make this sacrifice while knowing he was in love with someone else? While finally knowing the circumstances of his previous engagement and how it ended? He had already gone through such hurt and betrayal with Ms. Taylor, and now to ask him to sacrifice his chance at happiness again by marrying her.

What will everyone think with him getting engaged so soon after one engagement ended? Will they think he broke his agreement with Ms. Taylor because of her? Because she asked him to?

It took her a few moments to realize that she was crying. The bigger shock was realizing that her tears were not because of her having to marry Jake but for Jake being forced to marry her.

"Excuse me," came the gravelly voice of the Woodhouse butler, "Mrs. Elton is here to visit. I have placed her in the drawing room."

The sisters looked at each other with a sigh. Isabella came over and gave Emma a quick hug, "dry your tears and find the largest smile you can muster before joining us. She will be looking for any sign of weakness. Do not give her any."


It took Emma more than a few moments to get her emotions under control and replace her expression of panic with something that might resemble happiness.

She walked into the room to hear the tail end of Isabella sharing another anecdote regarding the children. Since Emma knew that Izzy typically only gushed about the kids with family, this was a stalling technique.

It did not take long after her greeting to Mrs. Elton that she gave Emma a sly smile before declaring, "once Mr. Elton informed me of the shocking circumstances upon which he met you yesterday, I just knew I had to come and see you. As the pastor's wife it is my duty to provide guidance to the good people of Highbury. I am of course here if you feel the need to unburden your sins and abolish your guilt. I was of course truly shocked. Mr. Knightley has been a pillar of our community and to think he has trifled with many a young ladies' feelings. Just shocked."

Emma could feel her blood boiling and opened her mouth to offer a scathing reply regarding what she could do with her offer, but Isabella beat her to it with a hasty, "oh Mrs. Elton, we are truly so glad you are here this morning. I had a notion to send for you myself if you had not arrived."

Emma looked at her sister as if she had grown two heads, but Isabella continued, "I believe that Mr. Knightley and Emma here were embarrassed at being caught unchaperoned but there is truly nothing scandalous regarding their meeting. In truth, Mr. Knightley had offered for Emma a few days ago in front of the whole family, of course, but we were still trying to determine what the proper way of announcing it to everyone would be."

"A few days ago?" Mrs. Elton murmured with suspicion.

Isabella looked down and sniffed into her handkerchief, "you know how dear Miss. Taylor was to the family. Having that betrothal end was devastating to all of us. However, given the close relations between the Knightley and Woodhouse family, it made perfect sense for Emma and Jake to make a match. But as a family we were at a loss on how to tell everyone of the happy news. Do we do this with a discreet announcement or a formal celebration? As the esteemed vicar's wife, we really look to you for guidance and advice. I said right from the beginning that you would be the best person to discuss this with."

Emma watched in shock and fascination as her sister shared a conspiratorial look with Mrs. Elton, "of course Emma and Mr. Knightley made it that the matter was brought to your attention on its own." Isabella gave a high-pitched giggle, "but I am sure you remember what it was like to be young and newly engaged, albeit these two were indeed foolish for it. But I see the way Mr. Elton still watches you with such affection."

Emma could not remember a single time Mr. Elton had looked at his wife with anything resembling affection. They were both too wrapped up and involved in themselves to notice the other. Regardless, it was obvious Isabella's tactic was working as Mrs. Elton's expression seemed to have changed from suspicious to thoughtful.

"Yes, with my reach and influence in Highbury, I am certainly the right person for the job," Mrs. Elton replied, "if you had waited a little longer, it would not be cause for much gossip but given your long-standing family terms, I am sure we can announce this engagement without many questions being raised. Besides, this is a much better match then Mr. Knightley and Ms. Taylor had ever been."

Emma lifted her lips in what she hoped was a smile. Her role as the shy and proper lady who was embarrassed at being caught in an awkward position suited her mood just fine since it did not require her to do much except look at her hands and give the occasional smile. She was surprised at Isabella's acting, since usually her sister was horrible at lying. It was not a great feeling to think that Isabella's efforts were to protect her and keep her reputation intact.

Emma zoned out from the discussion regarding how best to tell Highbury and announce to their friends. It was obvious, neither required any input from the future bride, as plans were set in place regarding the engagement.

She must have stopped listening for longer than she had thought as Emma was shocked to realize that Mrs. Elton had now jumped to wedding planning, "I cannot wait to help plan this wedding. We shall make it the event for the season. Have you considered having the wedding in London instead of Highbury? Even if you have it here, you must simply travel to London to do the wedding preparation. I will give you the name of my modistes with a personal note to make sure you get the best service."

The bile that rose in her throat was sudden but not completely unexpected. She had not even talked to her father or Jake and here was this lady who Emma could not even stand, planning her wedding.

He has not even asked me to marry him. Even while knowing her sister was trying to help, she wanted to yell at both to stop with the nonsense. She did not want to get married. Emma had always said she would marry for love and had imagined her wedding to be one of happiness, not this sickening feeling that she had trapped Jake.


Two things became obvious over the next few hours as Emma sat through the longest visiting hours of her life. The first was that Mrs. Elton had wasted no time yesterday in spreading the news of Emma and Jake's compromising position, as there was a continuous stream of ladies wanting to 'check up on Emma'. The second was that it seemed Isabella's plan had worked as Mrs. Elton stayed the entire morning and provided Isabella with the appropriate support and legitimacy to the story that there was no scandalous news here.

"As a close family friend of both the Woodhouse and Knightley family, I was of course aware of the betrothal. I did tell them, it is a good idea to finalize the agreement to put the issue of Mr. Knightley's unfortunate first engagement to rest," Mrs. Elton was announcing to a room full of ladies, while everyone else nodded along.

Emma had to physically clench her fists in her dress to stop herself from getting up and yelling at Mrs. Elton that she was the one who spread the rumours to begin with and now was here acting as if she was her long-lost friend who had been in on this secret the entire time. An engagement so secret that even Emma had not been aware of it. The other option was pleading a headache and escaping to her room, but she knew that would just give everyone another reason to speculate.

In the end, she sat and endured the torture, answered questions directed at her while avoiding any other general conversation.

It was not until well past mid-afternoon that the sister's were given a respite from visitors, to be told by their butler that the men were waiting to see if Emma and Isabella wanted to join them for a late lunch.

Emma dutifully followed her sister to the dining room, only to walk into a room of complete silence. The men had stood up at their entrance, but they all stood waiting for someone else to utter the first word. Emma immediately sought out Jake's eyes, to realize that he was already watching her. His gaze was so direct and intense that Emma looked away, unsure on what was expected of her.

Isabella finally broke the silence with a heavy sigh, "this morning has been most tiring, but I do believe there should not be too much scandal attached to either your names or your betrothal."

Emma looked up to see Jake or her father's reaction at the word 'betrothal' but neither had the shocked or bewildered look she was expecting. Instead, they were all calmly sitting down to eat their lunch as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"Thank you, Isabella. The support from all of you has been more than I had hoped, but I apologize for putting you in this difficult position to begin with. I take full responsibility for my actions and should not have imposed upon Emma's solitude at the pond," Jake proclaimed to the table.

Emma watched in shock at the lack of reaction from her father. Mr. Woodhouse just nodded his head and started eating his food, as if it were an everyday occurrence that his daughter was caught in a compromising position with a gentleman that led to a marriage and required damage control.

Mr. Woodhouse looked at Jake before replying, "the marriage agreement papers that you provided are quite generous. I am pleased of course but was not expecting you to be so big-hearted. Truthfully, this engagement has made me the happiest man. Especially after seeing how well-suited John and Isabella have been in their union, I cannot think of anyone better for my Emma."

Emma wanted to stamp her feet and scream that everyone was just accepting this like it was such a great match. If it had been anyone other than Jake, there would have been a lot more disappointment and shock from everyone. But because Jake could do no wrong, everyone had skipped right to the wedding planning without so much as consulting her.

Jake had not even asked if she wanted to marry him. Her father had not even consulted her before accepting on her behalf. Isabella had made up an entire back story without so much as warning her.

Emma could not take another second of pretending everything was okay and she was fine with all of this. She could not listen to another discussion regarding planning the wedding or the optimal date. She suddenly pushed back her chair and with a mumbled 'excuse me', fled the room.

She had not even reached the stairs when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Emma, wait," Jake called from behind, "Can we talk? Perhaps in your father's study? I was hoping for a moment with you."

"Why bother? Just discuss whatever you wish with my father and sister. Apparently, they already know all my answers and can speak on my behalf," Emma retorted angrily. She had spent the entire morning being demure and quiet, now she wanted to lash out at someone.

However, even as she had said the words, she was already changing course to head towards the study.

"Well Mr. Knightley, it would seem that we are engaged, and would you believe that the last person to find out about it was me?" Emma began as soon as she entered the room.

Jake quickly shut the door behind him before turning to face Emma, "I apologize. It cannot be that big of a surprise given what happened yesterday and I assumed you would have talked to your father by now."

Emma could not believe his response, "well is this not the romantic proposal of every girls dreams? Personally, I find it is sadly lacking. Besides, it was not for me to talk to my father but for you to talk to me! After everything you told me, I would have thought you of anyone would understand the feeling of not having a say."

Jake paused for a few moments before quietly asking, "Emma, I truly thought you knew but did you want me to do a romantic proposal? I did not think you would appreciate or expect that given our conversation yesterday."

The reminder of Jake's feelings for Jane Fairfax caused tears to well up in her eyes. Emma turned so they would not be visible to Jake. She finally sighed and replied just as quietly, "no, you are right that it was not what I would expect. But I would still that someone had asked me before it was announced to everyone."

Jake gave a small smile before walking around so he was facing Emma again. He slowly reached down so he was holding both her hands in his larger hands. Emma felt her heartbeat speed up as he stared down at her. His eyes had never captivated her so completely before but now every time he turned the intense stare towards her, it was as thought her ability to move or think vanished.

"Ms. Emma Woodhouse, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Emma wanted to yell that this was not what she wanted. She wanted Jake to want to marry her and not this half-hearted attempt to appease their families. However, in the end she just said a simple, "Yes."

"Thank you. I apologize I did not properly ask you, but I want you to know that I am not asking simply because it was the right thing to do to protect your reputation but because there is truly no one better suited for me. We have known each other all our lives and have a friendship and camaraderie not many can claim. I have always encouraged you to speak freely with me and now as my wife, I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions even more. You are already beloved by my household and tenants and I hope this will be a smooth transition for you as well. I strongly believe we shall be good for each other and will be a strong team for our future children."

Emma blushed at Jake's mention of children. She had not even accepted she was engaged and here Jake was discussing kids.

Jake was looking at her earnestly as if expecting a long declaration from her as well. Emma finally blurted out the real question, "what about love, Jake? I had always wanted to marry for love."

She watched in anguished silence as he flinched and let go of her hand. Although his declaration had been heartfelt, it had lacked any mention of the heart. His words described friendship but not love.

Emma could not deny her own feelings anymore. It was not obvious when it had happened but regardless of exactly when, she knew without a doubt that she was in love with Jake Knightley. Maybe the love had always been there, and it had just taken her until recently to realize it. The end of his engagement had forced Emma into a tailspin of emotions and self-realization.

But along with that understanding was the realization that she would be marrying the man she loved, while he was in love with someone else.