A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story. Life is always so busy with kids/work etc that I don't get a moment to send out any acknowledgements and I haven't been replying to any of the reviews. However, please know that even if I haven't been replying, they are very very very appreciated. I get so happy when I see someone has followed/favorited/reviewed this story. I welcome your feedback and look forward to your thoughts/comments/emotions.

I would like to give a special thanks to faith-hope-and-glory and Elfrieda for their wonderful reviews throughout! Also... if you are reading... drop a quick review!

Cheers!


Chapter 13

The next few weeks passed in a blur of activity with Isabella and Mrs. Elton seemingly becoming best of friends over the common goal of planning the biggest wedding Highbury had ever seen. Emma was already exhausted with the wedding, between being dragged to London to get her bridal gown and trousseau and a myriad of other appointments going over numerous details in Highbury.

It was ironic that planning a party was typically something Emma loved. When it had been Isabella getting married, Emma had spent hours poring over the latest fashion catalogues or debating the merits of different shades and types of fabric. She had always assumed she would be an active participant in planning her own wedding and would want everything to be exactly as she had always imagined it to be. However, now that her nuptials were only a few days away, she could not seem to muster any excitement over the planning. Her mind was a jumbled mess, listlessly moving from one thought to another without any clarity or logic.

With everything that had happened, she still had not written a letter to Ms. Taylor. Emma no longer knew what to say to her. She alternated between disbelief that maybe Jake had misunderstood the situation entirely to extreme anger with the thought of how Ms. Taylor could do that to Jake. She could not write her questions down and it just seemed easier to get caught up in the myriad of other things happening. Her unquestionable loyalty needed to be with Jake, and Emma was debating if she should severe all contact with Ms. Taylor. Why did she feel conflicted, considering what Ms. Taylor had done to Jake?

What she really wanted was to discuss everything with Jake and ask him to explain everything to her. There were so many things she still did not understand about how the engagement had ended, although it was apparent that Jake was not the villain she had initially painted. She knew he was coming to visit her father this morning and was hoping they could at least go for a walk to calm her tumultuous heart.

The Woodhouse butler had long ceased announcing Jake's presence, so it was a bit of a shock to look up and see him standing at the entrance of the sitting room.

Emma was determined that today's conversation would not be a repeat of the heated words spoken here a few weeks prior. She abruptly stood up with a nervous smile, "Mr. Knightley, how are you this morning?"

Jake did not reply but just stood there staring at her as if trying to work out a complex puzzle. She could feel her heart galloping wildly, as the tense moment seemed to exponentially grow, taking all the empty space in the room.

"Jake?" Emma whispered, unable to withstand the awkward silence anymore.

"Good," Jake finally replied. "I am good. And yourself Emma?"

"Good."

"I was just thinking how we shall be married in just a matter of days," Jake softly murmured while slowly walking towards Emma.

Emma could feel herself blushing at the innocuous statement. "Yes, indeed," she finally managed to choke out. Emma suddenly felt like she was choking on her emotions and could not get any air into her lungs.

She wanted him to take her into his arms, so she could feel the peace she had felt near the pond. She wanted to blurt out her own feelings and ask him if there was any chance, he could feel similar. She wanted to erase the last year and go back to a time when Jake was her best friend and Ms. Taylor was her governess without any relation with each other. She wanted Jake to look at her with love and shower her with extravagant presents instead of knowing that he was sacrificing himself for her reputation.

However, none of those things happened as Jake gave a small rueful smile, "it will be okay. Being married to me will not be so terrible. I swear I will try to make you happy."

"And I, you," Emma whispered as tears slowly leaked from her eyes. She did not look away as Jake closed his eyes and clenched his jaw as if trying to contain his own emotions from coming forward.

She waited for him to reach for her or wipe her tears, but he just gave her a sad smile, "is the thought of being married to me so terrible then?"

Emma quickly wiped her eyes and shook her head, "no, it is not that."

He looked on expectantly, waiting for her to provide some answer or explanation for her sudden tears, "It's just… marriage… when I had thought about being married, I had thought it would be this grand, happy occasion filled with laughter and love. Not duty and obligation," Emma finally stuttered out.

"Who says these things can't go together?" Jake asked softly.

"But you do not… I mean have you been in love?" Emma asked, too afraid to voice her real thoughts.

"Have you?" Jake asked instead of answering her own question.

Emma took a deep breath and looked Jake directly in the eye. The intensity with which he was studying her, as if her answer would solve all the mysteries of the universe gave her the strength to answer him truthfully, "Yes. Yes, I have. That is what I want for my marriage."

Jake stiffened at her response. "Want? But it is not what you will have?" Jake gave a bitter laugh, "well of course, why am I not surprised. My first fiancé was in love with someone else and turns out so is my second. I thought I knew you but apparently not."

It took Emma a few seconds to realize he had completely misinterpreted her words and was comparing her with Ms. Taylor. "No! That is not what I…"

Jake did not allow her to finish her sentence but grabbed her arm tightly in anger. He looked wild, his eyes wide with rage and hurt, "I do not want to hear the excuses. I made that mistake once by listening to the excuses and believing them. I made too many mistakes before. You are mine Emma. You will be mine. I will not let you go. I will not share you. You will only be mine."

Emma shook her head rapidly, wanting Jake to stop the sharply spoken words, wanting him to understand that she had been clumsily trying to declare her own feelings. "Jake… please understand…"

A growl escaped his lips as he pulled her flush against his body while his other arm held her captive. She was trapped against him and could not do anything except watch in fascination as his mouth moved towards hers.

"I'm tired of always being the understanding one."

Emma could have screamed or kicked. She knew Jake would let her go if she tried to get away, but her own curiosity won out and she held her breath as Jake moved in closer. Emma had been dreaming of this moment since the embrace by the pond and did not possess the will to leave. The kiss was forceful but still soft. It took her a few moments to realize Jake was no longer holding her arm but had moved his hand up to cradle her face. It would be even easier to break free but instead her concentration was on the feel of his lips moving over hers.

She let out a sigh which seemed to be the permission that Jake was seeking as he immediately deepened the kiss. This was no longer his lips softly moving over hers but now devoured and consumed. He was declaring his possession. If it had been meant to teach a lesson, the only thing Emma learnt was that by tilting her own head and moving her lips, she could intensify the feeling further. She had never been content with just being an observer to life, especially when the game was so pleasurable. It was not long before her arms were wound around Jake's neck, and it was no longer clear who was teaching whom a lesson.

Jake finally broke the kiss, moving his lips over her cheeks to softly bite her neck. Emma could not help the sigh that escaped her lips. Her head was spinning and all she wanted was his lips back on hers.

She gave his hair a sharp tug to get his lips back where she wanted them. Jake was more than happy to comply as his lips found hers again. He was consumed by the moment as he let out his own moan, "you will be mine. No other man will ever touch you. I will not share you."

The words penetrated the fog Emma was in. She had forgotten this was not a moment of true passion but Jake wanting to ensure his dominance. This was not the romantic kiss of two lovers being caught up in the moment that she had always dreamed about. This was retaliation for Emma's words and the hurts of the past.

Emma finally pulled back before giving him a searing look, "I am not Ms. Taylor."

That seemed to instantly evaporate any remaining passion he had been feeling as he walked away from where Emma was standing. The only sound in the room was the harsh breathing as they both tried to recover from the kiss.

"No, you are not. But I will not be made to look the fool again," Jake finally replied. Without affording Emma even a single glance, he made his way out the door.


"You know when I came over to join you for a drink, I had thought we would be toasting your upcoming marriage and generally having a merry time. I did not think you would be sitting here with this morose expression as if you are to face your execution tomorrow," John Knightley stated suddenly, after it became apparent Jake was not listening to a word he had been saying.

The two brothers were supposed to be enjoying a dinner and drink to commemorate Jake's final night as a bachelor. John remembered his own wedding eve and the excitement and nerves he had felt. It had been a loud and messy affair, with loud toasts from his friends and free flowing drinks for everyone. However, when John had suggested something similar for Jake, he had strongly said no, and hence the two brothers now sat in relative silence in Donwell's study. Although a certain amount of nerves was expected, he did not understand the current expression on his brothers face.

"Do you want to talk about what is troubling you? I did not think you were opposed to this marriage," John tried again.

"I do not think I can do this. I thought I could, but I do not know if I am strong enough," Jake finally replied, never taking his eyes off the fire.

John sat up straight. "Jake, what are you saying? What do you not think you can do?" he asked urgently.

"How can I marry Emma, while knowing she is in love with someone else?" Jake asked suddenly. "It would not matter so much if I were not in love with her, but there you have it. I am in love with her, and she is in love with someone else."

John looked at his brother in shock. He had suspected for some time that Jake's feelings for Emma were more than just one of a friend, but he had not known just how deep those feelings ran. He tried to keep his expression neutral as he carefully asked, "and Emma has told you this herself?"

"In many ways, multiple times."

"Have you tried talking to her? Discussing your feelings?"

Jake sighed as if the burdens of life were too heavy to carry, "I so much as hint at stronger feelings and she turns away."

"But why do you say she is in love with someone else?" John wondered out loud.

"She told me," Jake said with a bitter laugh. "I have been going insane trying to figure out who. The only person I can think of is Frank Churchill. She has never shown any singular interest and familiarity with any other man before."

John could not help the sudden rage and helplessness he felt at his brother's words. How could Emma be interested in Frank Churchill, especially over his brother who was clearly the better man. John wanted to cry into his own drink just thinking of all the wrongs that family had done to his brother. He only knew bits and pieces of Jake's previous engagement but knew enough to have a strong dislike for everyone involved. Now the son was involved in putting up roadblocks to Jake's upcoming nuptials. I would not mind if the Weston/Churchill family were to leave the Highbury area permanently with the amount of trouble they seemed to cause.

He finally took a deep breath and gave his brother a confident smile, "Emma might think she is in love with Frank Churchill, but the depth of friendship and lifelong relationship you have with her is worth more than any infatuation. You say you love her; show her with your actions, tell her with your words. That embrace by the pond was not faked and what I saw was a couple completely in tune with each other and not aware of anything else in their surroundings. Give her time Jake, once you are married, she will be yours and I have full confidence she will return your love. I would not be surprised if she already does so."

"Be patient and understanding and time will sort out the rest."