Chapter 16
It had been a few weeks since the discussion in the library and Emma still blushed at thoughts of her husband. She had always known Jake was thorough in every task he took on, but it was a pleasant surprise to learn just how playful and imaginative he could be. Their evenings were spent talking and laughing, peppered with kisses and subtle touches. Every glance from him barely concealed the longing and hunger for her, transporting her mind directly to thoughts of his lovemaking.
She had always been told about performing her marital duty and fulfilling the expectations, but what she had not realized was just how much fun they could have together. There was no embarrassment between them and the comfort she felt with Jake allowed her to ask questions and experiment. It was unexpected to realize that this same Jake she had known forever could invoke such new feelings and have these hidden depths.
Marriage was full of surprises. It was laughable now to think there was a time when she had thought of Jake as a linear character whose sole purpose was to provide guidance and wise words to her. In her mind he had been the always calm and correct older friend. Instead, it was clear that he was just as human as the rest with warring moods and conflicting emotions. He did not always make the right decisions nor respond in an expected manner, but he complimented her. Emma could see the wisdom in their marriage and how they both would need each other to be the strength at different times.
It was deep thinking for morning tea, but Emma was enjoying the solitude to reflect on the mysteries of her marriage. It was one of the few days that Jake had not been able to join her, but it gave her a chance to reflect on everything over the last few weeks.
Emma looked up at the sound of the Knightley butler clearing his throat. "Mrs. Knightley, Mr. Churchill is wondering if you are available for visitors."
"Oh yes, of course. Please bring him in and bring fresh tea and biscuits." Emma was surprised at the visitor, but it would be nice to find out what was new around Highbury.
"Mr. Churchill, what a pleasant surprise," Emma exclaimed, as she stood to receive the guest.
Mr. Churchill walked in with a deep bow, "I hope I am not interrupting your morning routine."
"Not at all. Mr. Knightley was not able to join me this morning, so I am glad for the company."
"Well, that works out in my favor to have you to myself," Frank replied with a charming smile.
Frank was all charm and sweet smiles. There was no denying that he was a handsome man and knew how to carry himself and what suited him. The burgundy jacket would have seemed too formal for a daytime visit, but Frank carried it off with confidence. Emma almost giggled at the realization that the reason she felt so comfortable with him was that he was a male version of her.
Instead, she went about pouring a cup of tea for Frank. "So, tell me, what brings you here? You did not even attend the wedding!" Emma admonished.
"I was not sure if your husband would have wanted me to," Frank replied casually. Emma rolled her eyes at his dramatics.
"And how are you finding married life to be?"
Emma could not hide the smile at his question, "marriage is… surprising. I am quiet enjoying it."
Franks easy smile slipped and was replaced by a more serious look. "I am glad to hear that. Cherish your marriage as it is only the lucky few who end up with the partner of their choice."
"Mr. Churchill, why so maudlin this morning?" Emma watched closely as Frank's eyes shifted to his tea. "With your handsome demeanor, any girl would be a fool to say no to you."
Emma fully expected another flirtatious reply but instead Frank continued to look thoughtful. "It is not always that easy." Frank cleared his throat, "I actually came today to say my goodbyes. I am leaving Highbury and will likely return to London. I had been planning on just paying my respects but figured I would join you for tea."
"You mean my husband was not at home to scare you away," Emma replied sardonically while trying to process the news. "This is quiet a shock. I had thought you were enjoying Highbury and were planning on settling here?"
"I would not have minded it but there does not seem to be any reason to stay."
Emma looked away as she realized he was likely referring to his father Lieutenant Weston, "Is it due to your father?"
Frank gave a small smile, "in part. I had moved here for him and now that he does not need me, I am free to leave."
"But I thought you wished to marry?"
"It does not seem likely that I will be able to ask the lady in question," Frank replied.
"Is it someone I would know? Maybe I can be of help," Emma could not help but let her curiosity get the better of her.
Frank just shook his head, "it would not be fair to bring about her name and I would not wish to put her in an awkward position after everything that has happened."
Emma wanted to ask more but refrained from probing about the identity. Perhaps the lady was someone inappropriate or already married, as she could not think of another reason why he would not be able to ask for her hand. Emma's heart broke for Frank as she observed how sad he looked. It reminded her of her own feelings from a few weeks ago when she thought Jake was in love with Jane Fairfax.
The rush of emotion and sympathy had her rushing from her chair to sit beside Frank and place both hands over his arm. "Frank, you have so much to offer to any lady. By you not asking, it is certainly her loss. I can say with full conviction that any lady you do decide to bestow your attentions will be lucky and the envy of all around her."
Frank covered her hand with his own, "I appreciate your words of support, Emma."
The pair sat in silence both lost in their individual thoughts when a low voice interrupted the moment.
"Well, I do not appreciate your hands on my wife!"
The sudden words had both Emma and Frank jumping back guiltily to see an angry Jake striding into the room.
"I stood back and allowed you to declare your feelings to my wife, but I will not allow this." Jake grabbed Emma and pulled her to stand beside him.
"I do not remember mentioning any names and certainly not your wife's," Frank replied with a lazy smile as he slowly stood up from the sofa.
"Jake…" Emma tried to intervene only to have both men ignore her, one with a glare, while the other continued a deliberate smirk.
"I am tired of yourself and your father causing havoc in my life," Jake bit out.
Frank gave a small chuckle, "well at least you got this one to walk down the aisle."
Emma closed her eyes with a groan. Both were being ridiculous and yet they seemed keen to continue antagonizing the other.
Jake drew in a deep breath and replied with mock formality, "well Mr. Churchill, we would not want to keep you from your important duties, so feel free to take your leave."
Frank gave a deep bow in return, "of course. As always, it was a pleasure seeing you again, Emma."
Jake growled at the use of her given name but did not say anything further until Frank took his leave.
Before Emma could comment on how preposterous his behavior and assumptions had been, Jake turned towards Emma with a quiet calm, "in the future, I would ask that you not meet with Mr. Churchill without a chaperone. I understand there are unresolved feelings on both sides, but you are now my wife and I will not be made into a laughingstock for a second time. You will behave in a proper manner that would not bring shame to the Knightley name."
Emma could only stare with her mouth open as Jake turned around and stalked out of the room.
Jane Fairfax was tired. She was tired of being perfect and tired of the expectations of her family to make a perfect match and save them all from poverty. Most of all she was tired of waiting for a man, who had professed his love to her and had sent her a pianoforte but was still dawdling in finally proposing marriage. Jane had been waiting for so long for Frank Churchill that she had given up hope and had convinced herself that he had never been serious. That changed when he sent such an extravagant present. This of course convinced everyone that a proposal was imminent, except once again she was waiting.
All her life she had known they were just on the precipice of society due to a lack of funds. Her Aunt Bates had never married but when her own parents had passed, she had not hesitated to take in Jane. In turn, Jane had tried everything to be as proper as possible. She had the perfect manners and played music beautifully and knew every rule of society and how to run a household, but the sad truth was that she was still unmarried.
Jane took a deep breath and ensured her hood covered her hair and face completely before emerging from the shadows to knock on the bachelor house. What she was about to do was unthinkable and went against everything she had spent her life doing. She was at a single man's house, alone. If anyone were to see her, she would be completely ruined. Truthfully, Jane would never have even contemplated such an action if it were not for that pianoforte. No one would send such an expensive and personal present without it meaning something.
The door was opened by a servant. "Is Mr. Churchill available? It is urgent that I see him."
The seconds ticked by as the butler debated if he should allow the woman to enter. He finally nodded his head and allowed her to pass so she could follow him into the study.
It was another twenty minutes before Frank sauntered into the room. Although he came in casually, his entire body came to attention upon spying who the visitor was. He quickly rushed to her side and grabbed her elbow, "Jane, what are you doing here? Are you okay? Is it your Aunt?"
"Yes, I am fine."
Jane had a more burning question, "Frank, why are there sheets on the furniture and house being crated?"
Instead of answering, Frank walked towards the window and gazed out as if searching for the correct words. He finally replied quietly, "I am not sure if my father will be returning anytime soon, and I have decided to leave Highbury."
"I see," Jane managed in a small voice. It was not in her nature to be aggressive or bold, she was known as the quiet and calm one. However, the anger coursing through her would not allow her to be silent anymore.
"So, you were leaving without so much as a simple note? What about your promise to always love me? What about the pianoforte?"
Frank turned around to face her. The anger on her face was obvious and he was fascinated by watching the play of expression on her face, "that was meant to be a goodbye."
"I do not need your pity. If you never meant to marry me, it would have been better if you had left without a word instead of making this announcement to the world. Now you have opened speculation to just what I did to get a pianoforte as compensation," Jane cried out in disgust.
Frank startled at her words. He had never thought of the gift in that sense but had only wanted to make her happy.
"Jane, I would love nothing more than to marry you, but it is not that easy." Frank took a deep breath before continuing, "the reason Jake Knightley's engagement broke is because Ms. Taylor was with child. She was having an affair with my father. If that gets out, there will be a fresh scandal involving my father and then me. There will be so much talk. I know how much your reputation means to you. You have spent your entire life avoiding scandal and trying to be proper. How can I in good conscience drag you into one? It would be better to marry someone who is good and does not have to face gossip due to their family connections."
Jane startled at the shock of his words, completely caught off guard by the direction of the conversation. However, it this was his reasoning for not proposing, it renewed her anger even further.
"You are a fool. Do you think I am too weak to stand beside you and face a scandal? Do you think I am too scared to do so? My reputation has always been important because that is all I had. I did not want to do something that would hurt my family. That does not mean my reputation is more precious than those I care about. Also, how do you know that this perfect paragon of a man I marry will not have something happen in the future? Do you mean, I should abandon him at that time?"
Frank looked at Jane in shock. He had been convinced that once Jane heard the entire story, she would turn away in distaste at the thought of willingly joining herself with a family such as his. Jane was so accomplished and beautiful, the thought that she did not even flinch at the burden was unexpected.
"You mean even after knowing all of that, you would still marry me?" Frank asked in confirmation.
"Why did you not talk to me? I told you I loved you, did you not think those words meant anything. I will stand beside you through the good times and the bad and together we can face everything. However, if you truly do not wish to marry me, then I will take my leave."
Frank looked away in guilt. He had spent so long worrying about how his father's actions would impact his life. He had not imagined it could be that easy and Jane would not have any reaction save for some initial shock. To think that he had almost walked away from this perfect woman because he had been afraid.
He slowly walked towards her and grabbed her hands. There was so much he wanted to say but all of that could wait as he slowly got down on his knee in front of Jane Fairfax.
"Ms. Fairfax, you are right, and I have been a fool but if you think that I do not wish to marry you, then that would make you the fool, because there is nothing… nothing I wish for more than to make you my wife. I did not want to put you in a challenging position or knowingly cause you difficulty by making you go through what I am sure will be scandal regardless of what happens next with my father and Ms. Taylor. I thought it would be easier than you having to either say no or sacrifice your happiness for me. I thought I had it all figured out and instead of talking to you, I was ready to walk away from the best thing in my life. I am a fool a hundred times over, but I swear a mistake like that will not happen again and in future I will turn to you for your infinite wisdom. I do not deserve your love but know that I love you more than I could ever express."
Frank could barely get the words out through the emotions choking his throat. He pressed Jane's hands against his cheeks then his lips. "Jane, please agree to be my wife. I will keep you happy. I love you so much."
There were still many things that needed to be discussed and sorted out but, in this moment, there was not much Jane could say to such a heartfelt declaration except, "yes."
