Hello! Sorry it's been so long between updates! Life gets in the way but I'm hoping to get back on track with this! I only own the plot, Zack and Lainey. Everything else isn't mine! Enjoy!
August
Rachel paced back and forth as she waited for Mrs. Kent to call her. Today was the court hearing to permanently sever Julia Miller's parental rights for Lainey and Zack. If she showed up in court to fight it, not only could she possibly get them back, it would delay things overall. Since the Fourth of July, Rachel had noticed huge improvements with their emotional well-being. Zack could now be taken in public and trusted not to run off. Lainey now let Rachel fully take care of her even if Finn was around. Their little family was starting to feel permanent and Rachel was terrified it would be taken away.
Finn had gone into work to meet with some clients. Rachel still hadn't returned to the office since the first week the kids had arrived. She was hoping to go back part time in September when the kids returned to school. She and Finn had both agreed to just take it day by day. Their main focus was keeping the kids in a stable environment where they felt safe. So far they've been able to do that.
The kids were downstairs playing with their new Lego sets her dads had sent over yesterday. She decided to keep herself busy upstairs by cleaning up the kids rooms before the headed down to Lima tomorrow to visit Burt and Carole, her dads, and Kurt and Blaine. Ever since Burt had invited Zack to come help him in his shop, Zack would not stop talking about it. They had to wait until their schedules allowed and their routine was more settled, but tomorrow they would head down to Lima for the weekend. The kids were excited to see everyone and had already begun to pack their suitcases for the trip.
Rachel approached Zack's bed to check through his suitcase. As she sorted through the pile of clothes inside, she found five pairs of pajamas, underwear, and one shirt. She laughed to herself as she pictured them getting to Lima and Zack literally not having any shorts to wear. She gathered some extra clothing from his dresser as she heard Finn arrive home downstairs.
"Big Guy!" she heard Lainey shout and the scurry of the kids running around made her smile. This is how she pictured parenthood to be. Well, for the most part.
Rachel approached the bed to put the remainder of Zack's clothing in his suitcase when her foot hit something underneath the bed. She bent down and pulled out one of Finn's old duffle bags from the garage. What was it doing under Zack's bed?
She placed it up onto the bed next to the suitcase and slowly unzipped the bag. Rachel gasped as she saw what was inside. The stench hit her like a slap in the face.
Food. The bag was filled with food. Some of it was prepackaged things like chips and packs of crackers. There were also old halves of sandwiches, pieces of fruit, and juice boxes. What was this? How had she not smelled it before?
Rachel gagged as she zipped it up. "Finn! Finn can you come up here please?" she called. She needed to show this to him before they confronted Zack. What she wasn't expecting was for Zack to be directly behind Finn as they walked into the room.
Zack was giggling as he ran behind Finn into the bedroom. His laughter faded once he saw the bag on the bed and Rachel standing beside it.
"Hey what's up Rach? Zack decided to chase me up the stairs didn't you buddy?" Finn patted Zack's back and tried to read Rachel's face. She wasn't smiling.
"Um, Zack. Honey I found this bag under your bed. Can you tell me why it's here? What is it for?" Rachel handed the bag to Finn who immediately squished his nose up at the smell.
Zack stood in front of them speechless. He didn't want to get in trouble.
"Um, I don't know." Zack began to swing his arms nervously as he waited for Finn and Rachel to react.
Rachel approached Zack slowly. Whatever this was, she had to be careful how she handled it. "Zack, listen to me. I'm not mad and you aren't in trouble, I just need to know why you had a bag of food under your bed. Are you hungry after we feed you? Do you need an extra snack sometimes? If you do you can always ask."
Tears began to form in Zack's eyes. "You'll be mad when I tell you. You will!" he said as the tears now began to run down his face.
Finn crouched down in front of Zack, lifting his head to look him in the eye. "No, no we won't. We will be mad though if you lie and don't tell us the truth."
Just then, Lainey came skipping into the room. "Ew! It stinks in here!"
Rachel didn't want Lainey in here for this. "Lainey, can you go check your suitcase and make sure you packed all of your favorite dresses? Carole said she might take us to a fancy lunch and you need to have a pretty dress ok?"
Without thinking twice Lainey skipped across the hall to her room. Crisis avoided.
Zack now began to sob uncontrollably. Rachel pulled him up onto the bed and sat next to him. Finn put the bag of food out into the hall and stood in front of them.
"Zack, please tell us what that bag is for. You can't be keeping food like that under your bed. It's going to make your room super smelly and we don't want that right? I promise we just want to know why you are hiding food in a bag. That's all."
Zack tried to catch his breath as he spoke. "It's...for...when...we go...back ...to mom's house."
Rachel's mouth fell open as she tried to fight the tears from coming. She and Finn had decided not to bring anything up until things were more final, which would hopefully be today. The kids still went to therapy and they wanted to talk to them about adoption after their mom's rights were officially terminated.
Finn stepped forward and grabbed Zack's hands. "Buddy, why would you need to take food back to mom's house?"
Zack's tears began to fall again. "Because mommy doesn't always have food and I don't want us to be hungry anymore."
Finn picked Zack up into his arms. Even after the kids living with them for over two months, they still learned new things about their past that shocked them. Poor Zack was hoarding food in his room to take back to his mother to feed the family.
Lainey ran into the room to see Finn hugging Zack. "Hey I want a hug too Big Guy!"
Rachel rushed over and scooped her up to try to distract her. "Can I hold you instead? Zack needed a super tight hug from Finn right now."
Lainey smiled and hugged Rachel's neck.
"I have an idea!" Rachel exclaimed. "Why don't we have an indoor picnic tonight? It's super special and we haven't had one in a long time!"
Zack lifted his head and wiped his eyes. "What's an indoor picnic?"
Finn placed Zack back onto the ground before speaking. "Well, it's where we put blankets on the floor and eat pizza and have a family talk about important stuff. Then we watch a movie. Sound good?"
Both children shouted "YES!"
"Why don't you two go downstairs and pick up your Legos before dinner ok?" Rachel asked trying to distract the children so she could have a moment with Finn.
The kids took off downstairs to clean up and Rachel took a deep breath. "We have to tell them Finn. Tonight. Mrs. Kent should be calling soon and if everything goes as planned we have to tell them. Maybe it will be a good time since we are going out of town and they'll be distracted for the next few days. And please throw that bag away."
Finn glanced down at the bag of food and back to Rachel. "I just, I mean how awful Rach. How awful that even though his life was so chaotic, Zack still wants to take care of his mom and sister. He's going to be devastated."
Rachel knew Zack would not take this well. He loved his mom unconditionally. He mentioned her often and although he stopped trying to escape constantly, Rachel was aware that Zack fully believed his mom was coming back. She had in the past so why wouldn't she now?
"I know. We just have to sit them down and explain it to them. No sugar coating it, no lying. We have to remember what their therapist said and be ready for any reactions they might have. Now let's just go on as normal and hopefully my phone will ring soon and we can get this over with."
The four of them went along with their day. The kids were excited to set up for the picnic and were laying every quilt in the house down on the living room floor. Finn had ordered the pizza and the indoor picnic was soon underway. Rachel glanced at the clock. 4:45 pm. Surely court was out for the day. Mrs. Kent had told her their hearing was at 2 pm. Rachel started thinking the worst. What if their mom showed up and the proceedings took longer because something had changed?
She found herself pacing around the living room as the kids began to chat about which movie to pick.
"Hey," Finn said as he caught her by the arm stopping her in her tracks. "What's going on?"
"She hasn't called Finn. It's late and she hasn't called." Rachel began to walk away from Finn when her cell phone began to ring. She quickly grabbed it off of the table and ran upstairs so the kids wouldn't hear her conversation.
"Hello? Mrs. Kent?"
"Hi Mrs. Hudson. So sorry I haven't called. I had an emergency to deal with right after court."
Mrs. Kent paused and Rachel could feel her heart beating out of her chest.
"So Julie Miller did not show up for court today. All attempts to locate her have failed so the judge granted the motion to terminate her rights and start adoption proceedings."
Rachel felt her knees weaken a bit and she sat down on the ground of the hallway to steady herself. Was this really happening?
"Mrs. Hudson? Are you there?"
"Yes, yes I'm here," Rachel replied. "I'm sorry I just was expecting bad news since I didn't hear from you but this is wonderful."
"Those kids are very lucky to have you. Now everything will keep going in terms of therapy and my visits but the adoption process will officially begin. I'll send over some paperwork on Monday for you to sign. Now go enjoy your weekend ok?"
Rachel felt a tear fall down her cheek. "We will Mrs. Kent. Thank you so much for all of your help."
Rachel felt sick. She had that horrible pit in her stomach feeling that you get when you're about to do something terrible or sad. Like walking into a funeral knowing you're going to cry the entire time. She was getting ready to break those kids' hearts in two and there was nothing she could do to take their pain away.
Zack and Lainey sat innocently on the blanket, chewing away at the cheese pizza they had both requested. She noticed Finn staring at them. Part of his face displayed pity for them, but in his eyes she saw hope. Although she had to break their hearts, she also got to begin a new journey with them as their mom.
Rachel sat down next to the kids and paused the movie that was playing on the TV. Finn looked over at Rachel and could see she had tears in her eyes. He wasn't sure if they were the good kind of bad, but she seemed to be holding it together well for the moment. Rachel gave him a subtle thumbs up to let him know things were good. Finn felt the tears flood into his eyes but tried to keep them at bay. He knew what they had to do right now and it wasn't going to be easy.
Once the movie was turned off the kids put the pizza down onto their plates.
"Why did you turn it off Lady?" Lainey asked as she wiped her hands on her napkin.
"Well we have something important to talk about. Remember at our indoor picnics we like to talk about things that are important and I need you guys to pay close attention ok?"
Both kids nodded their heads yes as they sat to face Rachel. Finn sat down beside her so they could see them as a united front vs. just Rachel delivering the bad news.
"Well, we got a very important phone call today. It's about where you are going to live. And it's about your mom."
The kids' faces lit up with excitement which in turn broke Finn's heart. Rachel felt her soul crush a little seeing their reactions.
"Our mom called? Is she coming to get us?" Zack stood up and turned to go upstairs.
"Zack wait!" Rachel called. "We aren't done and I need you to sit back down."
"But I want to go pack up my stuff! She'll probably be here soon!"
Finn reached out and grabbed Zack's hand, softly pulling him back to the ground. Lainey sat frozen and you could tell she had no idea what to think.
"No Zack," Finn said softly, "Your mom isn't coming to get you. Your mom...she..."
Rachel stepped in "Your mom loves you two so much. But she's having some trouble taking care of you. I know you miss her a lot and wish you could see her again and maybe someday you can. There was a judge today who had to make a big decision about where you two should stay to be safe since you can't go back to your mom. The judge decided that you guys are going to live with us now. "
"All of the time? Forever?" Zack asked.
Rachel could tell by his body language that he was about to break. Zack started to curl his body up into a ball as he pulled his knees up to his chest.
"Yes, forever. Finn and I would like to adopt you. And I know you miss your mom and you'll always love her and she'll always love you."
Zack began to cry, but surprisingly no anger was present. Yet.
Finn moved closer to Zack to rub his back. He turned to look at Lainey who also began to sob.
"But what about momma? I miss her!" Lainey cried.
Rachel pulled Lainey into her lap, wrapping her arms around the small girl as she wept. "I know you miss her and we can still talk about her all of the time, but you guys are going to stay with us now. We love you and want you to be in our family if that's ok."
Zack's body tensed up as he raised his head.
"This is your fault!" Zack said as he pointed to Rachel. "You told on me didn't you? That I saved the food to bring to mom's house! Why did you tell?" Zack screamed in Rachel's face.
"Hey Zack, no one told buddy." Finn pulled Zack onto his lap. "We weren't even mad about that, just confused. You can't go back to your mom's because your mom isn't at your house. She still loves you but she can't take care of you anymore."
Zack looked at Finn like he was the most evil man in the world. It was then Zack released a cry that Rachel had never heard before. It was the sound of the utmost disappointment and sadness that she had ever heard. Finn held Zack as his body shook from his cries.
"I don't want a new family! I want my mom back!"
In response Lainey became hysterical in Rachel's arms, although Rachel wasn't sure Lainey fully understood what was going on. Lainey crawled up to put her head on Rachel's shoulder as she cried. Rachel hugged Lainey tightly and she felt her own tears finally spring free.
"I know you guys are so sad and it's okay to be sad. We love you and we want to help you feel better ok." Rachel rubbed Lainey's head as the small girl whimpered.
"But what about my mom? Will we see her again? Can we see her? What if she comes back?" Zack continued to let Finn hold him despite his mood.
"Well we don't know. All we know is we are going to take care of you and love you every day. I know you miss your mom and you didn't ask for a new family, but we are here for you always." Zack continued to cry as he laid his head onto Finn's arms to relax. "Rachel and I promise to always love you and take care of you no matter what ok? No matter what happens."
The four of them sat in silence on the floor as Finn and Rachel let the kids take the lead. Lainey continued to lay her head on Rachel's shoulder but her crying had ceased. Zack still had tears falling from his cheek as he laid in Finn's lap. Rachel and Finn just stared at each other, waiting for something to break the silence.
Zack was the first to speak. He sat up quickly and wiped the tears from his face. "Can we still go see Burt tomorrow?"
"Of course we can," Finn said. "Why wouldn't we still go?"
Zack shrugged his shoulders. "Because everything is different now."
"Actually Zack, everything is the same as it was before, except now you are staying here forever. We can still go to Lima tomorrow to visit everyone. I know they are all very excited to see you guys again! Burt said he has a brand new car that he needs help working on tomorrow and he's been waiting for you."
Zack's eyes lit up, and for a moment you could see that he wasn't thinking about the sad events that had just occurred.
"How about we turn the movie back on and finish our dinner?" Rachel asked as she sat Lainey back down onto the blanket. Zack sat back down in front of his plate as Finn turned the movie back on.
Rachel and Finn sat behind the kids as they resumed their dinner activities.
"So what happens now? What do we do?" Finn grabbed Rachel's hand waiting for an answer.
"I don't know Finn. One minute they were devastated and hysterical and now they are fine. I don't think that was the last of it, but maybe their sense of routine and normalcy here will help them cope. Even though we gave them bad news, they know they can still watch a movie and eat dinner and sleep in their own beds. It's stable here."
Finn knew Rachel had a point. Hopefully all of the hard work they've put into helping the kids will pay off. The less pain the kids had to be in the better.
The night was strangely calm from that point on. Dinner finished up, as did the movie. All four of them headed upstairs. Finn took charge of the showering of the kids while Rachel triple checked their bags for the trip. This was the first time they were traveling with them and she wanted to be thoroughly prepared. She was just zipping up Lainey's pink suitcase when both kids came running into the room.
"Storytime!" Lainey screamed as she ran towards her bookcase.
Finn and Rachel read the kids a story every night. The kids never wanted to read the same book, so Finn would read to one and Rachel the other. Tonight though, Zack climbed up on Lainey's bed with her.
"Are we reading together tonight Zack?" Rachel asked as she climbed up onto Lainey's bed as well. She could hear Finn in the hallway bathroom cleaning up.
"Yes can we read the same book tonight? I'll let Lainey pick."
Lainey clapped her hands wildly. "The crayon book! The crayon one! Lady does the funniest voices when she reads it!"
"The crayon book it is!" Rachel grabbed the book off the shelf and jumped back onto the bed which made the kids laugh.
"Lady I almost fell off when you jumped!" Lainey tucked her legs under the covers. "Here Zack you sit next to me and Lady can sit over there."
Rachel began to read "The day the Crayons Quit" to the both of them as they sat on the bed. They both laughed as Rachel did the voices for each of the crayons and as she got near the end of the book, Finn joined them.
Bedtime went smoothly, much to Rachel and Finn's surprise. Both kids were tucked quietly into bed without further conversations. Would the fallout come later on? Rachel refused to believe that the news they told them earlier would not affect them in some way. For now she would just lay low and let the kids come to them if they wanted to.
Rachel made the final notes on their checklist for their trip before heading to bed herself. Finn was already in bed, reviewing notes from their therapy sessions over the past few weeks.
As Rachel climbed into bed, she peeked over to see what he was reading up on.
"I'm just trying to go over everything because today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The kids were upset which was expected, but no long outburst from Zack and Lainey just didn't even really mention it. It was just odd."
Rachel sat back against her pillows and sighed. "I think we were just so used to how Zack used to react to things, that maybe all of this work we've been doing has actually been successful. It's only been a few hours though. Give him time."
They both laughed softly. It was nice to find humor in it now. Before it was so overwhelming and emotionally draining. Now they knew what to expect and it didn't seem so daunting anymore.
It wasn't until the middle of the night that the fallout began.
Rachel could hear the thunder in the distance that disturbed her sleep around 2 am. Finn always slept through storms so she wasn't expecting him to get up. She never was a fan of thunderstorms, but things got better once she was married and no longer alone at night.
She snuggled into Finn's back for comfort. Rachel could feel her body relax and began to drift off again when she heard the screams from Lainey's room.
"MOMMYYYYYY! MOMMMY HELP ME!"
Rachel flew into Lainey's room. She wasn't even sure her feet touched the ground as she ran. Lainey was flailing in her covers with tears soaking her face as she screamed.
Rachel scooped her up into her arms to try and calm her. "It's okay Lainey, I'm here," she said as she stroked the back of her head. Rachel wondered if she even realized it wasn't her own mother holding her.
"Lady," Lainey whispered, "I'm scared of the thunder."
Rachel got her answer. Lainey was fine with Rachel, or so it seemed.
"I'm scared of the thunder too Lainey. What would make you feel better?"
"Can I sleep in your big bed? I don't want to be in here by myself. Where's Zack? Is he scared?"
Lainey laid her head on Rachel's chest and played with the strands of Rachel's hair that were near her face.
"Sure you can. Zack's still asleep but if he gets scared I'll go get him ok?"
Rachel carried Lainey back into the bedroom where a sleeping Finn was still dead to the world.
Rachel placed Lainey in between them and pulled the covers up.
Lainey whispered "Will Big Guy squish me? He's really big."
Rachel smiled in the darkness. "No, just stay close to me ok?"
Lainey nuzzled into Rachel's side and quickly fell back asleep. The problem was now Rachel was wide awake and the storm was getting louder. She decided to get up and check on Zack across the hall.
As she arrived at his room, a flash of lightening lit up the house. That's when she saw that Zack's bed was empty.
Rachel told herself not to panic yet. He couldn't have gotten out of the house. The doors all had high locks and she would hope after all of this time he wouldn't try to run away. She turned the light on in his room and saw nothing. Rachel walked over to his closet and opened the doors. Nothing. As she turned around to walk out of the room, a loud crack of thunder shook the house and she heard a shriek come from under the bed. Zack.
Rachel got onto the ground and saw Zack cowered in a ball underneath his bed, tears streaming down his face.
"Go away Rachel. Leave me alone."
Rachel decided not to try and pull him out. That would only make him angry.
"Zack, are you scared because of the storm?"
"No."
"Then why are you under the bed sweetheart? Can we talk about it?"
"No."
Rachel realized she had to find a way to get him to trust her. Whether it was the storm or the news of their adoption, something was bothering him.
"You know when I was little I was very scared of Thunderstorms. I still am. I can't sleep and the thunder makes me jump."
Zack stared back at Rachel from under the bed. "So what do you do?"
Rachel laid out on her stomach and rested her chin on her hands so she could see Zack clearly. "Well when I was little I used to go sleep in bed with my dad's or sleep on their floor. They would make me a little bed in their room for the times I was scared. Now I try to distract myself. I'll read a book or think of something that makes me happy. But I always remember that the thunder and lightning can't hurt me. Sometimes I like to look out the window and watch the lightening in the sky. It can be pretty cool."
Zack slowly began to creep out from under the bed. "Can we watch it now?"
Rachel stood up and grabbed Zack's hand. "Sure. I have a chair in front of the window in our room that's great for watching storms in the sky."
The two walked hand in hand back across the hall. Lainey had now taken residence on Finns side of the bed. He was still sleeping soundly through all of this.
Rachel sat in the chair and invited Zack to sit on her lap. They watched the lightening dance across the sky. Zack's eyes grew wide and he grabbed Rachel's arm for reassurance, but he never moved.
"One time Lainey and I were alone during a big storm. The lights went out and we were scared. Mommy was gone."
Rachel felt tears gather in her eyes as she rubbed Zack's forehead. "I'm sorry Zack. If you're ever scared please come and get me or Finn ok?"
"Okay."
They continued to sit in silence as the storms rolled through.
Zack readjusted himself on Rachel's lap. "Can you make me a bed on the floor Rachel? Like when you were little?"
Rachel kissed the top of Zack's head. "Of course. Go grab your pillow and blanket but make sure to be quiet ok?"
Rachel fixed Zack a bed on the floor and tucked him in.
"If you need anything I'll be right next to you on this bed ok?"
Zack nodded silently as he laid his head down on the pillow.
Rachel crawled back into bed, being careful not to disturb Lainey, who had slept through the rest of the storm.
"Goodnight Zack," she whispered.
"Night Rachel," he replied as he turned over.
Before Finn opened his eyes, he felt something different about his bed. His arm was asleep and he felt weight on his legs that wasn't usually there.
He turned over to see Rachel sound asleep in her usual place, although a little farther away than normal. However, when he looked down towards his numb arm, he found a sleeping Lainey nuzzled into his side. Glancing down towards the end of the bed, he found Zack using his legs as a pillow and his body across the rest of the bed below Rachel's legs. Finn wasn't sure what had happened last night, but he obviously missed something.
He had to move his arm since it had fallen asleep, but Lainey looked so peaceful sleeping there. Finn tried to move her but every time he did she would whimper in her sleep. His legs were killing him too. He must have subconsciously kept them in the same position once Zack laid on them. He was trapped.
Thankfully Rachel had started to stir in her sleep and rub her face. She always did that right before she was going to wake up. As soon as her eyes opened he began to plea for help.
"Hey, Rach," he whispered while he waved his free arm in the air. "Could you maybe help me out here? I can't feel 3 out of my 4 limbs."
Rachel yawned while she fought off a laugh. "Yeah let me slide Lainey over towards me. What time is it?"
"It's seven. We should wake them up soon anyways if we want to get to my parents before lunchtime."
Rachel slowly slid Lainey towards her body and off of Finn's arm. He began slapping his arm feverishly to get the circulation going again.
"I don't know how to get Zack off of you. He was sleeping on the floor so I'm not sure when he climbed up."
Finn tried to slide his legs out from under Zack but there was no winning. "What happened last night? Did they just come in here? I guess I do sleep like the dead."
Rachel pulled Lainey towards her chest so she could scoot closer to Finn. "Well first it was storming so I woke up. You know me and storms…. Then Lainey woke up screaming for her mom. I went in there and she was scared so I brought her in bed with us. Then I couldn't sleep so I went to check on Zack but his bed was empty."
Finn's eyes grew wide as he realized how much Rachel dealt with last night.
"Don't worry, he was under the bed. We had a talk and then he came in here to watch the storms with me. He told me that once during a storm they were alone and scared. I made him a bed on the floor and that led us to this right here."
Finn smiled as he glanced down at Zack sleeping on his feet. "Well we did want a house full of kids so this is part of it right? Who would have thought?"
Rachel kissed Lainey on the forehead as she reached out for Finn's hand. "Yeah a few months ago I could have never imagined this. It's amazing."
Thanks for Reading! I had to break up this chapter or it would have ended up being 15,000 words! Let me know what you think!
