Hello! I'm back! I'm working on both stories I'm writing at the same time so I promise updates are coming for both this and Fire and Ice. I don't own Glee, just the plot and original characters. Enjoy!
November
To say this month had been rocky is an understatement. Upon hearing the news of their mom coming to the next court appointment, Rachel hasn't been herself. She's constantly worried that the kids are going to be returned to their mother. Finn walks around trying to keep the peace while walking on eggshells. The kids have noticed the change in their parents behavior, acting out a little bit at home. Their home life seems a bit unsteady.
Soccer season ended, so now their nights and weekends are free. Finn tries to get Zack to take up basketball during the winter but he refused. He seems to be shutting down a bit and they don't know why. It's easy to pretend everything is okay, but under the surface they are all at their breaking point. The kids still think its possible their mom could return, but they don't bring it up often.
Lainey turns five the weekend of Thanksgiving. Rachel and Finn decide to throw Lainey a birthday party along with inviting the family down to celebrate a belated Thanksgiving on Saturday. Lainey chose a princess theme, excited to pick out the decorations with Rachel. She also picked out a giant pink cake, complete with seven princesses on top. She's never had a birthday party before. Lainey blurted that out while they were shopping and Rachel had to pretend she had something in her eye to hide her tears.
The party is a welcome distraction to their impending court date on Monday. Finn hopes that the family visiting will help the kids pull out of their funk and give Rachel a mental break. He's seen her like this before during their fertility treatments. She holds it together on the surface but on the inside is falling apart.
Everyone is driving up from Lima, and were due to arrive around noon. This meant that by 11:30 the kids were itching for everyone to come. They had grown a real connection to their immediate family and loved seeing them.
"Can we go outside and wait?" Zack asked. "I'm bored sitting by the window."
Rachel hesitated before saying yes. "Go ahead and get your jackets on. It's cold out. And stay on the porch where we can see you!"
Zack and Lainey ran to get their coats on, Lainey throwing on her purple beanie too.
Finn helps zip them up and ushered them out onto the front porch. "Now you two stay here until someone comes ok? You can play on the porch and in the yard but don't wander off. I'll be watching you from the window to be sure you're listening."
Rachel and Finn had tried to give the kids a little more freedom as they adjusted. They had to have such a tight grip on them when they first arrived that now they were trying loosen the reigns a bit. The kids thought it was a big deal to be outside alone, even if a parent was always watching them from inside.
Rachel was just putting the finishing touches the Thanksgiving meal when she heard commotion at the front door.
"Has anyone seen the birthday girl?" Burt asked as he had a giggling Lainey thrown over his shoulder. "I can't find her ANYWHERE."
Lainey screamed "I'm right here! You're holding me!" She laughed as she kicked her legs.
Rachel smiled as she saw how happy Lainey was. "Where's your brother? And Carole?"
"Zack wanted to help Carole bring in the desserts, so I chose to drag this little one in with me." Burt put Lainey down and she immediately headed back for the door.
Finn took Lainey back outside towards Zack and Carole, offering to help. Hiram and Leroy pulled up as well. Zack beamed as he walked back into the house holding a large tray of cookies.
"Carole told me to put these on the counter," he said as he walked past Rachel.
"Thanks for helping Zack. That's very grown up of you." Rachel took Zack back into the living room where everyone was taking off their coats.
"Kurt and Blaine are running a little late. The baby was fussing a lot in the car. They called us right before we arrived," Carole said.
"I told them they didn't have to make the trip. We could have always gone to see them another time. The baby is so little," Rachel said as she gathered the kids coats to hang up.
Carole shook her head. "I know. Those two are convinced they can do it all but they're exhausted. I think they just wanted to get out of the house for a while."
Once everyone arrived, the family sat down at the large dining room table together. Rachel and Carole had set up all of the food in the center. The kids were seated between Rachel and Finn and across from Burt and Carole. Hiram and Leroy were on either side of them. Kurt sat at one end of the table with the baby in hand, while Blaine was at the other end with Warner. They barely fit and Rachel realized that next year she might need an extra table. The thought of that made her smile.
"I've never seen so much food in my life!" Lainey cried.
Zack looked over at her with a sullen look. He still views himself as her caretaker at times. "Yeah, its a lot of food."
"As a tradition, we are going to start the meal with everyone saying what they're thankful for. Don't get sappy on me dads." Rachel announced. They've done this every year since she was little. Now she extends the tradition to their family meals every year.
"I'll go first," Hiram announced. "I, of course, am thankful for this family and our ability to be involved in your lives every day."
Leroy spoke up next. "I'm thankful for our wonderful daughter Rachel, her husband, and these two beautiful kids. I'm also thankful that our two families can get together like this often."
"Thanks for keeping it simple dads," Rachel replied and winked at them both.
Kurt and Blaine both said the same thing, that they were thankful for their two kids, as well as the family that supports them.
Carole teared up as she began to speak. "Well, I am so thankful that our family has grown by three people this year! Zack, Lainey, and Willow all joined our family and I couldn't be happier."
Zack blushed at her words. Rachel teared up too, thinking about last year's Thanksgiving. The table was much smaller.
Burt spoke next. "I am thankful for my new car buddy Zack. Since Finn grew up I've been waiting for someone to help me! Warner is too little still, but I'm sure once he's bigger he'll be in helping us too. And I'm thankful that Lainey gets to come down and have girl time with Carole so she's not all alone when us boys go out."
Zack was sitting across from Burt, a smile plastered across his face. The bond between those two was so special and unexpected.
Finn cleared his throat to go next. "I am so thankful for many things, but of course I'm so glad Zack and Lainey came to live with us." He paused as he looked down at them siting in between he and Rachel. "We are so glad that you're here and so thankful to have met you."
Finn blinked hard to fight back the tears that formed in his eyes. He hadn't expected to become emotional, but the thought of how their past Thanksgiving's probably were is what sent him over the edge. They had never sat down to a formal family meal, never had people who were thankful for them. Things he had always taken for granted were the same things these children never got to experience.
Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but Zack interrupted her before she had a chance to begin.
"Um, can I go next?" he asked. Rachel nodded at him to continue. "We did this at school so can I say the same things?"
"Of course you can," Rachel smiled.
Zack looked around the room, then down at his empty plate. "I'm thankful for my bedroom. I'm thankful that Lainey is here with me. I'm thankful that Rachel and Finn are nice to me. And I'm thankful that we get to see all sorts of new people and have holidays together."
Zack continued to look down, afraid to see the reaction to his word. Finn reached over and rubbed his arm and whispered in his ear telling him he did a good job.
Rachel decided to go next, unsure if Lainey wanted a turn. "I am thankful that everyone is here today. I'm so thankful that Zack and Lainey came to live with us this year. I'm thankful for Willow, who also joined her family. I am thankful for the support of our parents during our new journey. This has already been my favorite Thanksgiving ever." Rachel was proud of herself for not crying at the table. She focused on the fact that the kids were here now, not that they could be gone by Christmas.
"My turn!" Lainey shouted. "I'm thankful for this giant turkey, Zack, my new mommy and daddy, and my pink birthday cake that I'm gonna eat later." She beamed as she finished. "Can we eat now?"
"I forgot something in the kitchen. Why don't you all get started and I'll be right back." Rachel sprinted to the kitchen, out of sight from the rest of the group. The tears started to fall then. Lainey had referred to her as 'mommy' for the first time and didn't hesitate. Why was this happening when it could all be taken away on Monday?
Finn walked in, finding Rachel at the counter blotting her eyes. "Hey, why are you crying? Happy or sad? Lainey called you mommy which is awesome right?"
Rachel sniffled through her words. "I'm happy because the kids have come so far. I'm sad because I'm terrified their mom is going to take them away. All of this will be gone in the blink of an eye and there's nothing we can do about it. I don't want them to go." She leaned into his shirt, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.
"I know. We knew this was a possibility when we signed on for this, but it doesn't make it any easier."
Dinner was wonderful and before dessert Finn decided to take the three older kids outside to run around. The weather was unseasonably warm for November, so any opportunity the kids had to get some energy out was a bonus. Warner and Lainey decided to jump in a pile of leaves, while Zack opted to kick the soccer ball with Finn. Finn watched Zack field a ball he had kicked to him, remembering how different things were back in June. The first time they all played outside Zack tried to escape the yard and Lainey wouldn't leave his side. Now they seemed so relaxed and happy.
Inside Rachel sat on the couch holding a sleeping Willow while Carole got Lainey's cake ready. Kurt had dozed off on the couch and Burt in the recliner. That left Blaine, Rachel, and her dad's to hang out for a while.
Rachel placed Willow up on her shoulder and covered her with a blanket. "This baby is so sweet Blaine. You two lucked out. Warner was so cranky sometimes."
Blaine laughed. "He still is! We are lucky though. She's pretty mellow. Wishing she would sleep more at night but that will come. Poor Kurt is exhausted" Blaine motioned over to where Kurt was passed out.
Hiram snapped a picture of Rachel and the baby on his phone. "A baby looks good on you Rachel. Have you and Finn thought about trying again?"
"Hiram stop it," Leroy whispered under his breath.
"It's okay dad. No, we haven't. I'm slowly becoming okay with the fact that us having a biological child probably won't happen. I am lucky that I've had a sweet nephew and niece to snuggle, but our own baby might be a thing of the past. Zack and Lainey have taught us a lot over the past five months. I honestly don't think about trying for a baby anymore."
"That makes sense," Hiram continued, "After we had you we were content. No need for another child even though you begged for a sibling every year until you were 10."
The group laughed and the commotion of the kids coming in from outside woke up Burt and Kurt.
"It's time for Happy Birthday!" Warner screamed.
"Don't try to blow out my candles Warner!" Lainey replied as she pushed past him towards the table.
"No fighting you two!" Finn shouted as he and Zack finally made it in the house. "They were getting fiesty outside."
Carole brought the cake into the dining room as the rest of the family gathered around. Rachel handed the baby off to Blaine so she could get her camera ready to take pictures. Kurt made sure to stand next to Warner so no candle blowing would occur.
Lainey's face lit up as Carole lit the candles. Her smile was so big as everyone sang to her. Rachel snapped pictures as Finn filmed on his phone, making sure to catch her as she made her wish and blew the candles out .
Everyone clapped and cheered, including Lainey. "Can I open presents before I eat my cake? I've never had presents before!"
The adults looked around the room at each other, careful not to draw attention to her statement.
"Yes you have Lainey, last year mom got you some chapstick or something," Zack replied.
"Oh, I don't remember that because I was only four. Now I'm FIVE." She held up five fingers to show everyone.
Hiram and Leroy brought the gifts in from the other room and placed them next to Lainey. Hiram handed her a small box first. "This if from Leroy and I. We gave one similar to Rachel when she was little."
Lainey peeled back the pink wrapping paper to reveal a small jewlery box. Upon opening it, she discovered a small delicate gold star necklace. "Oh pretty! Can I put it on now?" Leroy nodded as he rushed over to put the necklace around her neck. Rachel was taken aback by this gesture from her fathers. They didn't even want them fostering at all, and now these kids have even found a place in their hearts.
"Here you go Lainey, open ours next! Warner helped pick it out." Kurt handed Lainey a giant white bag that said Happy Birthday in pink and purple writing. She threw the tissue paper that had been carefully place in the bag straight onto the floor. First she picked up a brand new pink sweater dress, followed by some pink and white leggings and some pink fuzzy boots.
"Oh can I wear this to school Monday? I promise not to get the boots muddy!" She looked up to Rachel for approval.
"Sure, as long as you're careful. I wouldn't want to see you upset if you ruin them on your first day wearing them."
"Yay! Thank you Kurt and Blaine and Warner and Willow!" Lainey then looked up to see a medium sized box in Carole's hands.
Carole handed it over cautiously. "Be careful Lainey, don't tip it over."
Lainey ripped the paper back to reveal a nail painting kit for kids. "This is all for me? All of this nail polish?" Lainey stared at the box again, studying the contents of what was in the box. "Can we paint nails tonight?"
"Lainey, if we paint them tonight they won't dry before bed. We can have a nail day tomorrow ok?" Rachel explained.
Lainey shook her head to acknowledge Rachel's statement, but Rachel could tell she wasn't happy.
"Thank you Carole and Burt. I've never had my own nail polish before." Lainey smiled up at the two as they reached out for a hug.
"Okay last present Lainey! It's from me and Rachel and Finn." Zack picked up the last giant bag. It had a picture of all of the Disney Princesses on it. Zack had helped Rachel pick out the present and he took great pride in it. The love he had for his sister was immeasurable.
Lainey reached into the bag and revealed a light purple authentic Rapuznel dress in her size. She'd become fascinated over the past month with the character and Zack insisted on getting it for her. It was full length, with organza accents and puffy sleeves. There was also a Rapunzel wig with a braid that almost reached the floor, and purple Rapunzel shoes. Her eyes lit up and she lifted up in front of her face to get a closer look. Then she looked up at Rachel and Finn and burst into tears.
Rachel and Finn hurried to her side, unsure of why she was crying.
"Lainey, what's wrong? Do you not like it?" Finn asked as he picked her up.
"I don't know why I'm crying," Lainey said as she let out another wail and rested her head on Finn's shoulder.
Everyone stood there bewildered, including Zack. It wasn't a normal reaction for a child to start crying while opening presents.
"Are you crying because you're happy Lainey?" Rachel asked as she put her arms out. Lainey leaned over and went from Finn's arms to Rachel's. "Do you like the dress or do you not like it? You can tell me."
Lainey wiped her eyes before she looked into Rachel's. "I don't know why I'm crying. I do like the dress. It's the best present I've ever had. I promise." She hugged Rachel before sliding out of her arms and back towards her gifts. "Can I put it on? Right now?" Her smile returned and she ran off to change into her dress.
The therapist had mentioned that Lainey was having issues regulating her emotionls lately. This was just the latest example.
Carole and Burt extended their weekend so they could watch the kids after school while Rachel and Finn were in court. They had to show up at noon for a call time between 12-3 pm. They spent most of Sunday cleaning up from Thanksgiving and enjoying some down time.
After dinner, Zack noticed that Burt and Carole hadn't packed up their things to leave. "Are you sleeping over on a school night?" Zack asked Burt.
"Yeah buddy, and we get to pick you up from school tomorrow. Maybe we can go out for ice cream huh?" Burt ruffled his hand over Zack's hair.
"But why? Why can't Rachel pick us up?" Zack looked over at Rachel who was coming down the stairs with Lainey. He was uncomfortable with any change in routine. "Rachel why can't you pick us up from school tomorrow?"
Rachel and Finn hadn't planned on telling the kids much about the court appointment. She kept forgetting how attentive Zack was to everything.
"Well, Finn and I have a meeting about you two tomrorow afternoon and we aren't sure how late we'll be. We asked Carole and Burt to pick you two up from school. Sound good? We'll be home by dinner." Rachel hoped that would satisfy Zack's question, but he didn't look pleased.
"Is my mom going to be there? At court?" There was a hint of sadness in his eyes as he mentioned his mother.
Finn and Carole grew quiet at the opposite end of the room.
"Well," Rachel hesitated, "she might be. She wasn't there the other times though so we aren't sure."
Lainey heard this and piped up. "You're going to see my mommy tomorrow? Can we come?" She jumped up and down at the thought.
Rachel sat down on the couch and pulled Lainey onto her lap. She motioned for Zack to sit next to them. "No, no kids are allowed. Remember how we talked about adopting you? The meeting is about that. It's only for adults to decide."
Lainey leaned back in Rachel's lap as she yawned. "Okay. But what about mommy?"
"Well if your mom comes I'll see if I can talk to her okay." The thought of talking to their mother terrified her, but she'd do anything for these kids.
Zack looked up at Rachel, still sad and his eyes began to water. "Can you just ask my mom if she's okay? And tell her that we are okay here? And maybe tell her I play soccer now?"
"Of course I can Zack. I'm sure your mom would be so proud of you." Rachel wiped the tears that wet Zack's cheeks before wiping her own away. "Now be sure to help Burt and Carole after school tomorrow ok? They've never picked you up before so you'll have to be big kids and help."
"I can do that." Zack glanced up and Carole and Burt and smiled.
The morning was a whirlwind. Neither Rachel nor Finn had slept longer than few hours, both stressed about the court date. Both kids struggled to get ready for school, even with the help of Carole and Burt in the house. Zack was extremely quiet, not speaking to anyone. Lainey on the other hand was clingy and whining not stop with both Finn and Rachel.
Rachel and Finn dropped the kids off at school, then headed to the office to try and get some work done before the court appointment at noon. Finn was able to make a few calls, but Rachel mainly sat in her office staring at the computer screen. She wished time would go by faster, that this day would be over and she would know the outcome of their little family.
They didn't speak a word on the way to the Court House. They held hands in silence, neither wanting to say something to upset the other.
Rachel and Finn waited anxiously on two chairs outside of the courtroom. They had to wait until their case was up and to be called into the court room. Mrs. Kent had prepped them on what was going to happen. They were to remain quiet unless questioned.
Rachel sat with her hands folded, looking around to see if their mom had shown up. Every woman that walked by peaked her interest. She had never seen Julie Miller before, so she wasn't sure what she was looking for. She figured she would know when she saw her.
Rachel's leg began to bounce up and down as her anxiety increased. Today determined everything. What did their mom want? Why was she suddenly reappearing after six months?
Soon the court room doors opened, revealing an older woman holding a clip board. "I need the parties regarding Zachary and Lainey Miller in the courtroom please. Mrs. Kent and the Hudson's rushed in and took their seats in the appropriate chairs.
Rachel heard footsteps walking towards the others side of the courtroom. There was the court appointed lawyer for the children, followed by a pretty blonde woman dressed in a prison jumpsuit. Her swollen belly was protruding out beneath the orange shirt. Lainey had been right. Their mom was pregnant.
Finn grabbed Rachel's hand and squeezed it. Rachel began to focus on her breathing, trying to remain calm. She felt like she was going to be sick. How was it that this woman has three children and Rachel was unable to get pregnant at all? They've raised her children for six months and she gets to have another one and start over? Life wasn't fair.
Julie Miller and her lawyer sat down as the judge began to speak. Julie kept her eyes facing forward, avoiding eye contact with Rachel and Finn. The Hudson's couldn't keep their eyes off of her.
Mrs. Kent scribbled on a piece of paper: I had no idea she had been arrested and charged. This must have happened last week. This changes things.
Finn's eyes grew wide as he read the final sentence. Changes things how? He could tell Rachel was already a mess by this news. She was holding it together but he knew her. She was about to crack.
The judge was an older man in his 50's. He looked nice as far as the Hudson's could tell. Mrs. Kent said he was a decent judge who normally ruled fair. He was all business though and didn't waste any time.
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. We are here to discuss the custody and welfare of Zachary and Lainey Miller. It's noted here that the mother's rights have been terminated several months ago. I see here she turned herself in and was charged with child abandonment and has a hearing December 22nd. Today's court appointment is to decide whether or not to proceed forward with adoption by their foster parents correct?"
Both Lawyers replied "yes". Julie remained calm, sitting quietly as she rubbed her swollen belly. Rachel felt a twinge of jealousy at the sight. How could she just throw her two beautiful children away? And now will have a third child possibly born in prison.
"Mrs Kent, I can see here that your reports from the Hudson's home have been nothing short of stellar. The children are adjusting well, attending school and therapy regularly, and seem to be forming attachments to their foster parents. Are you recommending adoption at this point?"
Mrs. Kent stood up. "Yes your Honor, I am. The Hudson's would like to proceed with the adoption."
The judge flipped through a few more pages in the file. "Does the state have anything to add? All family members have been investigated? No one else in the family is available as I read here in the file. I see the birth mother is present, yet her rights were terminated. Will there be a challenge to this decision?"
Rachel began to tremble. Finn wrapped an arm around her to keep her still as she shook. She felt as through a giant sob was going to rip out of her body. She started picturing having to hand her two children back over to the state and the tears started to slowly fall.
The lawyer for the state, Mrs. Chamberlain, stood up. Julie stood up beside her and whispered into Mrs. Chamberlain's ear. Mrs. Chamberlain shook her head, then cleared her throat before she spoke.
"There's no contest to the adoption. All relatives have been contacted and no one is able to take the children at this time. Ms. Miller is incarcerated at the moment and is dealing with her mental health. She does have a proposition for the Hudson's if they'd be open to another child in the home. Ms. Miller is expecting another baby next month and has decided to give it up for adoption. She would like the baby to be raised with siblings if possible."
Rachel sat frozen in her seat. Finn called her name twice but she couldn't move. Finn nudged Rachel to break her out of her gaze. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Not only was there no contest, but Julie Miller wanted to give them her newborn baby. It felt like a dream.
"Is this really happening?" he whispered in Rachel's ear. "Are you hearing this Rachel?"
Rachel turned to look at him, stunned. She opened her mouth but nothing would come out.
Mrs. Kent spoke up. "Can my client's and I have a moment to discuss this before moving forward please? A possible ten minute recess?"
The judge nodded his head.
Mrs. Kent motioned for them to follow her out into the hallway. Finn practically dragged Rachel by the hand until they reached privacy outside of the doors.
"Is this really happening? Rachel, what do you think? Is she giving us her baby too?" Finn paced back and forth. He thought he had misinterpreted what just happened. He looked up at Rachel to see her standing alone, quietly crying. "Rachel, what's wrong? This is good right?"
"This is very good Mr. Hudson," Mrs. Kent chimed in. "Basically she isn't contesting the adoption. That will move forward. It appears to me that she only came today to ask you to take her baby too. I don't want to be rushed, but if a decision isn't made today, and she has that baby before you decide, chances are it will go to another foster family."
"We want it!" Rachel shouted out. "I...I can't even wrap my brain around what is happening, but of course we want Zack and Lainey to be a part of their siblings life. How could we say no?" She looked up at Finn to see him smiling back at her. "Right?"
Finn's smile grew even wider. "We can't say no. It never even crossed my mind." Finn walked over to Rachel, pulling her in for a giant hug as he kissed the top of her head. "We're going to have a baby Rach."
Rachel wiped the tears off of her cheeks as Mrs. Kent led them back into the court room. This time Julie watched them walk back in. Her face remained expressionless, but her eyes never left them.
Rachel wanted to walk over to Julie, to thank her, to ask her how she was. She was torn between hating Julie and wanting to hug her. However, she knew it wasn't appropriate in this setting. They can't communicate with her now and risk anything.
The judge asked Mrs. Kent if there had been a decision made. The Hudsons would still have to foster the baby until all of the appropriate measures had been taken. The adoption would not be instant. Rachel and Finn both nodded that they understood.
The baby was due in two weeks. Finn and Rachel would receive a phone call and the baby would be dropped off at their home by Mrs. Kent when he or she was discharged. .
Rachel didn't realize she was shaking until Finn grabbed ahold of her. "Rachel calm down. This is good ok?" Finn winked at her, but she still couldn't believe what was happening. She came today in fear of losing her two foster children, and is leaving with the knowledge she's getting third.
The Judge wrapped up some final statements, setting their next court date for March 30th. At that point they'd check in, report on the children, and hopefully set up an adoption date. Finn sighed at the thought of four more months of uncertainty. The stress they had experienced in the last 24 hours was enough to last a lifetime.
When everything ended, Julie Miller was escorted out of the courtroom, not stopping to look at Finn or Rachel.
"I really want to talk to her. I need to understand her a little. I also want to thank her." Rachel began to cry again, this time not being able to stop. "I'm so overwhelmed right now, but I just want to go home and hug our babies." Rachel was startled by the fact that Zack had asked her to speak to his mother. "Oh but Zack wanted me to tell his mom about soccer!" She whipped her head around the lobby to see if she could find their mother anywhere.
"I can ask if she'd be willing to speak to you at some point, if you'd like. She might not be willing but you never know." Mrs. Kent stated.
"Yes, I'd like that. The kids still need some closure out of all of this. I'd like to have some insight in case they ask questions when they're older."
Rachel and Finn walked out of the courtroom hand in hand, excited to return home to Zack and Lainey. Before getting in the car, they hugged for a long time, allowing themselves to finally relax.
It was after 5pm by the time they returned home. Carole had made Spaghetti and everyone was just sitting down to eat when they arrived.
"Oh perfect! Just in time for dinner!" Carole grabbed two more plates out of the cabinet and placed them at Finn and Rachel's seats. "How was everything?"
Lainey jumped up to give Finn and Rachel hugs, returning to her seat before getting in trouble. Zack didn't move from his spot, just looked at Rachel with questioning eyes.
Rachel and Finn ignored Carole's question. They weren't sure how much to say in front of the kids. "Were you guys good today for Burt and Carole?" Finn asked.
"Oh yes! We even got ice cream BEFORE our dinner! I got chocolate with sprinkles and Zack got vanilla with fudge on it." Lainey bounced up and down with excitement in her seat. "Then Carole let us help make dinner too!" Lainey clung to Carole's leg. Do you have to leave tomorrow?"
Carole smiled sweetly. "Yes we do sweetie. Before you know it, it will be Christmas and we will see you again. Maybe you can make a trip down before that too!"
Lainey pouted at her answer. "But I'll miss you." Lainey started to cry.
"Hey now, don't cry. We will see you again soon ok? Maybe you guys can come down for Rachel's birthday next month?" Burt looked at Finn and Rachel for an answer.
"Yeah that sounds great! We can try to plan that out." Finn felt Rachel kick him under the table. At first he had no idea why, but then it clicked. The baby.
Dinner involved the normal conversation, although Zack was quieter than usual. They didn't speak about what happend at the court appointment. Rachel could tell Carole and Burt were dying for some information, but they decided it was best to tell the kids about everything once they had let it sink in.
Finn offered to take the kids upstairs and prep them for bed while Rachel and Carole cleaned up. Once they were tucked in, Finn came downstairs to get Rachel. He walked into the kitchen to find Rachel putting the last dish away.
"Hey Rach, the kids want to say goodnight to you. They were a little upset that the routine was broken tonight."
Finn joined his parents in the living room as Rachel ran upstairs to say goodnight to the kids. She went into Lainey's room first. Lainey smiled as Rachel walked into the room and patted the bed to invite Rachel to sit.
"Goodnight Lainey. I love you." Rachel leaned down to kiss Lainey's forehead and brush the hair away from her face. "I'll see you in the morning okay?"
Lainey grabbed Rachel's hand to prevent her from getting up. "Can you lay with me for just a couple minutes? I missed you today."
Not wanting to deny her request, Rachel waited for Lainey to scoot over to make room for her on the pillow. "I missed you too, but I know you had fun with Burt and Carole right?"
Lainey nuzzled her head into Rachel's chest and wrapped an arm around her. "Did you see my mommy today? The one I used to live with?"
Rachel was shocked. "How did you know about that?"
Lainey remained in the same position, not looking Rachel in the eye. "You said it last night remember?. Did you see her?"
Rachel wanted Finn in here. They hadn't fully discussed how to tell the kids about any of this. She knew it would make it more stressful if she went to get him, so she trusted her instinct.
"Yes we saw her for a minute. We didn't get to talk to her though." She kissed Lainey's forehead as she remained still.
"Do you think she misses us? Was she sad?" Now Lainey moved back so she could see Rachel's face.
Rachel didn't want to lie. However, these kids had been through so much heartbreak. She had no idea how their mother felt, but she couldn't imagine her being so heartless as to not care at all. "Yes, she does miss you. She didn't seem sad though because she knows you are safe and happy here."
Lainey began to softly cry. Rachel just hugged her, knowing there was nothing she could do to take this pain away. The door to the bedroom opened and Zack walked in.
"I heard her crying. Is it about our mom? Did you see her?" Zack propped himself up onto the bed next to the two girls. "Does she want us back?"
Rachel began to panic. Does Zack want to go back with her? She knows he will always long for his mother, but wasn't he happy here?
"Well, Finn and I were going to talk to you about this together. I..." Rachel heard footsteps and knew it was Finn before he appeared in the doorway. He saw the group on the bed, accompanied by Lainey crying, and knew what was going on. He sat next to Zack before Rachel continued.
"Well, your mom did come today, but we weren't allowed to talk to her. The judge said you can stay with us and then we will have another meeting in a few months to get a date to adopt you. Mrs. Kent is going to come by a few times and see how we're doing and check our house out again, and she'll probably talk to you guys too."
The four of them sat on the bed in the dimly lit room, waiting for someone else to speak. There was no way they were telling them their mother was currently in jail.
"So that's it?" Zack asked. "She's never going to see us again?" He fought back tears, trying to blink them away, but they flowed down his cheeks furiously. "She doesn't want to see us? Ever?"
Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but what do you say to a little boy and girl who's hearts have been broken again?
Finn pulled Zack onto his lap. "Remember when we had the picnic on the floor? And we told you we were going to adopt you? Nothing has changed. We still love you. We know it hurts and you will probably always think about your mom and that's okay. We won't ever be mad at you for missing her or loving her. Just remember that."
"I like living here. I miss mommy, but I like my room, and my bed, and going to school and ballet. I don't want to leave here." Lainey clutched onto the blanket on her bed as if it might float away.
Zack stared at Lainey, almost not believing her words. "I like it here too Lainey, but mom..." he stopped and looked up at Rachel. "But mom is all alone now. You know how she doesn't like to be alone."
All of the training and counseling in the world never prepared them for moments like this. Moments where the past comes bubbling back up. Their little hearts broken over the smallest things. Their need to still be in charge of their mother even though they haven't seen her in months.
Rachel sighed as she started to speak. "Zack, you can't be worrying about your mom anymore. She has people to help her. I can't make her see you and I can't make you miss her less. What we can do is make sure you are safe and happy here. Finn and I love you and we will help you. We want us all to be a family. And by us being a new family, it doesn't mean you have to forget about your mom or never talk about it. Don't ever be afraid to say how you feel."
Rachel grabbed Zack's hand and he nodded. Then he did something that startled everyone. He reached over and wrapped his arms around Rachel's neck and hugged her. He rested his head on her shoulder, pausing for a minute before he pulled away. "Can you come tuck me back in when you're done with Lainey?" he asked Rachel.
"Sure thing buddy. Let me just tuck her back in and I'll be right over." Rachel laid Lainey back on her pillow, tucking her in before giving her a kiss goodnight. "Love you Lainey. See you in the morning."
"Love you mommy and daddy!" She shouted as they left the room.
Those words still caught Rachel by surprise. She and Finn cracked a small smile at each other as they entered Zack's room. He was already lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin. Finn said good night quickly and headed back downstairs to see his parents. Rachel sat on the edge of his bed, giving him a moment of silence before she spoke.
"Zack, I-"
"I'm sorry!" he blurted out as he cried. "I'm sorry I miss my mom. I am!"
"Oh Zack." Rachel wiped a tear of of his cheek as he closed his eyes tightly. "Don't be sorry okay. Your mom is still a part of your life even if you don't see her. Don't be upset. We will never be mad."
"Okay." Zack sniffled as he pulled the covers up even higher, almost covering his entire face.
"Get some rest and in the morning we can all cook a big breakfast before Burt and Carole leave. Sound good?"
Zack lowered the covers slightly to get some air. "Can we have bacon?"
"Sure thing! Now close your eyes and don't worry about anything. You're a great kid and we are so glad you're here."
Rachel blew a kiss to him before she closed the door behind her. She walked down the stairs to see Finn and his parents watching a football game. She was crying before she made it to the couch. Finn put his arm around her as she let it all out. She had held it together all evening, a huge range of emotion coursing through her veins.
Burt muted the TV as Rachel continued to cry.
"Oh what happened today? You didn't mention anything at dinner but you seemed okay. Are you losing them?" Carole began to tear up at the thought.
Rachel tried to pull herself together. She didn't want the kids hearing her cry upstairs.
Finn handed Rachel a tissue. "No mom. Court went quite well today actually. It's just a lot. These past few months have been so hard on everyone but also so rewarding. We have another meeting in May to move forward with adoption. They aren't leaving."
Burt and Carole both rushed over to the couch, giving hugs and kisses to them both.
"Well congratulations you two. We're thrilled!" Burt exclaimed.
"We just told them right now," Rachel began. "It's just still so sad. They both want to stay here but miss their mom so much. Zack is worried about her. It's a mess that we can't really fix. Just have to give them time I suppose."
"Did their mom say anything to you while there? Give any indication why she abandoned them?" Carole asked.
"No, we didn't get to talk to her at all. She only showed up because she wants to give us her baby. She's pregnant." Rachel looked up to gauge their reaction.
Carole gasped and Burt's mouth fell open. Rachel burst into tears again.
"Yeah, we were shocked too. Of course we said yes. I mean how can we not take in this baby?" Finn rubbed Rachel's back to try to calm her down. He hadn't seen her cry like this in a long time. "Rachel and I were caught so off guard, but we didn't hesitate. We won't be telling the kids until the baby is home though. There are so many unknowns. If she changes her mind we have no rights."
Rachel blew her nose and took a deep breath to try to compose herself, but the tears kept coming.
"Rach, what's wrong? Why are you so upset?" Finn was concerned, wondering what had happened that he missed. He wasn't sad at all, just nervous.
Rachel's body was now trembling. "I'm just so scared. We're so close. So close to this being a forever thing. And now a baby? I mean, we are the luckiest people on the planet. I am just terrified that it will all be gone at the drop of a hat. Nothing is final until we sign those adoption papers, and that is still months away, possibly even a year. You know nothing is rushed in foster care."
Finn felt the same, but was trying so hard to be strong for Rachel. He hadn't told her, but he had been up many nights lately worrying about the kids. They were all in such a good place, and even the difficult nights like tonight were able to be handled. Their lives had gone from revolving around their business, to revolving around getting pregnant, to revolving around these two kids that have taught them so much about life and love. They're so invested at this point, they might not recover if it doesn't work out.
Exhuasted from the day's events, everyone headed to bed earlier than normal. Tomorrow they needed to get back into a routine and carry on with their lives. They had a baby coming, so much preparing to do, and home visits on top of it. Finn and Rachel needed to spend the day prepping their room for a newborn and making sure they had everything in place.
Rachel awoke in the night to the sound of whimpering from Lainey's room. The clock read 2 am, so it wasn't close to wake up time. She rushed to Lainey's side to find her sitting up in bed, crying alone.
"Sweetheart what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" Rachel wasn't sure if Lainey was fully awake or not. She just kept staring forward and crying.
"Mommy don't leave me!" she cried and lunged for Rachel's lap.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry your mommy left. Did you dream about it? You can tell me."
"No, not my old mommy. I'm talking about you lady. In my dream, you took me to the park and left me there and never came back. I cried for you but you just walked away." Lainey clung to Rachel's arms and curled herself into a ball as she cried harder.
Rachel's heart sank. Part of her was happy that Lainey was still calling her mommy. On the other hand, the deep wound left by her mother was still there.
Rachel kissed the top of Lainey's head as her sobs continued. "Lainey, I will never leave you. Ever. Even when you're a big girl I'll always be there ok? It was just a bad dream and it won't come true."
"I love you mommy. Can you lay with me until I fall asleep again? I'm scared." Lainey crawled back onto her pillow and pulled the covers up for Rachel.
"Sure, scoot over and make room." Rachel meant every word she had said. She just hoped they would remain true.
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Thanks for reading! Please review! I hope everyone enjoyed!
