Originally posted on AO3.

Forty-three.

Forty-three steps from the sidewalk to his front door. Even with all the time they spend at her apartment, she knows this walk well. All she needs to do is open the door and take the first step.

The first step to fix this. Fix the mess she finds herself in.

"You jammed me up. That's not okay"Jay's voice echoes in her head along with the look of disappointment he gave her just before he walked under the tape. Away from her. She'd put him in an impossible situation tonight. What kind of partner did that make her?

Not even two months ago, she had stood with him in her apartment, telling him she wanted to try. Trying to make him understand that while she was scared and in uncharted water, he was more than worth it. She loves him. Has never meant anything more.

And then she'd gone and pushed him. Maybe not on purpose, but she had done it all the same. To see if he meant what he said about figuring it out, maybe? She isn't sure, but this is not the end of them. She won't let it be.

One final deep exhale and then she starts the walk to his front door. By the time she hits forty steps, all the courage she built up disappears. What if he turns me away? What if tonight was the last straw? What if he realizes that I'm not worth it? What if…

"Hailey?"

Hearing her name, she turns, finding the very man she'd come to see. He looks surprised to see her, which if she's really thinking about it, surprise is better than anything else right now. He could look disappointed. She's not entirely sure she could handle that right now.

"Jay I. . ."

"I just came from your place."

They speak at the same time, Jay's hands slipping into his pockets, while they stare at each other before he finally motions for her to go first.

The air suddenly feels too thick and her shoulders jerk upwards with the ragged breath she manages to pull in.

"I don't want to change you. That's the very last thing I want."

Jay tips his head slightly, eyes narrowing slightly in question. "What are you talking about, Hailey?"

"Jay um. . .Voight knows." When he only nods, she continues. "I told him and then I mentioned maybe needing a new partner, but he said no. . ." She trails off as Jay sinks down onto the step.

This was what he'd been expecting. What he'd hoped to talk her out of, but it looks like she beat him. She wants out. He's just not sure of what exactly.

"If this is going to work, we need to still be the partners that we were before. . ."

His eyes meet hers at that. That didn't sound like she was done. "See. . .I thought we were the same as before." He still isn't sure what she's trying to say to him.

"Why did you back me tonight? Why did you follow me into that house?" Hailey drops down next to him on the step, pulling the ponytail from her hair in a poor attempt to relieve some of the tension she's feeling.

"I already told you. Come on, Hailey. Did you seriously think I was going to let you go at it alone?"

"Before we started dating? Yeah." Maybe.

"You want to know the reason I went in after you? You called me." He says the words like that explains everything. "Last year, hell, even six months ago, you would have gone to that house alone. You wouldn't even have called me." Unable to sit, he stands, pacing a few feet away before rounding back to her. "I will always have your back, Hailey. Relationship or not, that will never change. The difference is you. You're letting me in."

That never even crossed her mind. He's right. Maybe not completely, but his words hold some truth. She'd have gone alone tonight. That part is definitely true, but as soon as she got that address, she wanted to tell Jay.

"I need to know we can be us, partners and. . .this" she stands, taking hold of his hand "I need to know that we can see things differently and still do our job."

"We can do that. And just so we're on the same page here, I could have stopped you tonight, Hailey. I could have and I promise you that in the future, I am probably gonna disagree with how you handle something and vice versa, but that's job. That's why we're good. I get that things aren't always black and white and that's where we make it work. We balance each other out."

"Okay. . ." Relief floods through her. She isn't losing him. They were going to be alright.

"Okay." He pulls her into a hug, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head, holding tight. At least he knows she meant it when she said she wanted to be better for him. To really try and make this thing between them work. She was trying and that is enough for him right now.