I know its been forever. I made it a goal to finish both of my stories that I haven't completed. I hope there are still a few of you reading out there!
They sat in the quiet hospital room. Finn is sitting on the window seat, back resting against the cool glass behind him. Rachel sat in a rocking chair, slowly pushing back and forth as she watched the clock. . The hospital bed, which was the focus of the room, lay empty. When they arrived at the hospital they were told to wait here. This would be their room if the baby is handed over. Julie was in another room somewhere on the floor. So far no one has come to give them an update and they've been waiting for almost two hours.
Rachel glanced over at the empty hospital bed, letting her mind wander to what it would be like if she had actually been able to get pregnant and give birth. She thought she had moved past it, but part of her will always long to be pregnant. She pictured Finn feeding her ice chips and rubbing her back like they do in the movies. She pictured the joy on both of their faces as she holds a tiny bundle with dark brown hair.
A knock at the door pulled her from her daydream. Finn jumped up rushed over to open it.
"How are you two holding up?" Mrs. Kent asked as she came in the room with a nurse in tow. "I'm sorry I got held up and didn't get in here sooner. Ms. Miller is dilated to 8 centimeters but her labor has stalled. That's all I know at the moment."
Rachel sat in the chair, nodding at the words she heard. "So, do we just wait? How will we know when the baby is born?"
Finn went and stood behind Rachel as the nurse flipped through cabinets looking for something.
"Well," Mrs. Kent started, "Once the baby is born mom and dad will have time with he or she before deciding upon what to do."
"Did you say dad?" Finn asked.
"Yes, the father is aware of the baby and has agreed to also sign over his rights. This actually helps skip a step in the foster care program if we have both parents relinquish rights."
Finn rubbed Rachel's shoulders. She was tense and trying to stay calm, but this was becoming all too much. "Then what happens? When will we see the baby?" Rachel had kept herself from asking questions about the future, but she could no longer stop herself. "How long will the baby be in her room? Or will it stay in here with us? " she paused. "I'm sorry this is just nothing I've ever been through before." She clasped her hands together and placed them in her lap trying to keep still.
"Oh Mrs. Hudson that's quite alright. We in the system don't often have this happen either. We do try to pair up newborns with any siblings they may have, but the foster family has to agree to take them in as well. My guess is if everything goes as planned the baby will be in here shortly after birth."
The nurse walked over and laid supplies out on the bed. There were some diapers and wipes, small t shirts, and blankets. "I'm nurse Kim and I'll be with you guys for the next 8 hours until my shift is over. I'll wheel the baby in here once I've been given permission and I'll place wristbands matching you to the baby on your wrist. For now, here are a few things you can put in the drawers over there next to the bed to get you started."
The nurse quickly exited the room, leaving the items on the bed for Finn and Rachel to sort through. Mrs. Kent got a phone call and exited the room.
Rachel picked up a tiny diaper, the length of it barely covering her hand. "Look Finn. Look how small it all is." Finn picked up a tiny beanie and held it in the air. "Finn. I'm so scared. We're so close. What if something happens? What if the dad tries to keep the baby?"
Finn placed the beanie back down on the bed and took the diaper out of her hand. "See this? This diaper will be on our baby. I have a good feeling Rach. Zack and Lainey are going to be a big brother and sister today. We'll just have to figure out how to tell them."
Rachel's heart sank. They hadn't mentioned anything to the kids, but if this baby was coming home with them, they'd have to tell them about their mom having another baby. "Let's just take this one step at a time. I don't want to tell the kids anything and I don't want them coming here if their mom is still here. What if they see her? What if she finds out they're here?"
Finn could see how stressed Rachel was. "Let's just see if this whole baby thing works out in a few hours. Your dad's will pick up the kids from school and take them home. I can run home later and get them settled. They'll be fine. Plus, my parents will drive up and the kids will have all four of them fawning over them. It will be a nice distraction."
Two more hours passed. Mrs. Kent had checked in twice, but otherwise they just sat in the quiet room with their thoughts. Rachel called her dad's to give them further instructions about Zack and Lainey. The kids think they are out at a meeting for work. They hated lying, but no way could Hiram and Leroy field the barrage of questions that would arise if they knew what was really happening.
"I'm starting to get worried. What if she had the baby already and changed her mind? What if no one has come in here because they are waiting for her to make her final decision?" Rachel paced back and forth across the small room, Finn stared at her from his seat.
" No news is good news. I think we rushed here a little too early which is making it seem really long. I can go out in the hallway to see if Mrs. Kent in out there? Grab us some food? All we've had are the snacks from your purse and I could use something else." Finn patted his belly as he stood up. "I'll be back okay?"
Rachel shuffled towards Finn, feeling the weight of the day hit her. "I'll stay here in case someone comes in to tell us something." Finn kissed the top of her head and turned towards the door when they heard a knock from the other side.
Rachel jumped at the noise before Finn opened the door to see who was on the other side. Mrs. Kent walked in with a huge smile plastered on her face, followed by nurse Kim from earlier. What they weren't expecting was to see Nurse Kim wheeling in a bassinet with a tiny baby in it.
"Good news! It's a girl!" Mrs. Kent exclaimed as she held her hands up into the air.
"What...it's a girl? That's her? Our...our baby?" Rachel stared at the tiny baby asleep in the bassinet, swaddled in a pink and blue hospital blanket and wearing a matching hat. Rachel looked at Finn with wide eyes.
Finn hesitated for a moment. He was just about to go get a sandwich, not expecting a baby to appear instead. He so badly wanted to go over and scoop her up out of the bassinet. "Is everything okay? When was she born? Where is her mom? Did they sign the papers?" Finn couldn't stop the questions from flying out of his mouth.
"Mr. Hudson, I assure you everything is fine. Nurse Kim will review everything about the baby. Ms. Miller and the father have spent about an hour with her and then signed away their rights and told us to bring her here. Congratulations mom and dad! You have a new baby girl!" Mrs. Kent hugged both Rachel and Finn quickly before speaking again. "Now I am going to head back to the office to get your paperwork filed. You should be able to go home tomorrow as long as the baby check's out fine in the morning. Please call me if you have any questions, otherwise I will check in later this afternoon."
Mrs. Kent shut the door behind her on her way out, leaving the Hudson's with the nurse and the baby. Rachel still was finding it hard to speak. She was in total awe of the beautiful baby asleep before her.
"So what do we do now?" Finn asked.
"Well," Nurse Kim began, "first let me get your wristbands on that will identify you to this little one." Finn and Rachel robotically held out their hands for their wristbands, not taking their eyes off of the baby. Kim checked each band a few times matching it to the barcode on the baby's bassinet. "Okay mom and dad you're all set. You can relax you know. " Nurse Kim looked them both in the eye. "You two look terrified. How about I get you started?" "
Finn cracked a smile as he looked at Rachel and pulled her over for a hug. They'd been so stunned they hadn't even had a chance to be excited. He felt Rachel's body start to shake in his arms. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Rachel let out a sob. "I can't believe this is happening. We have a baby!" She smiled through her tears as she wiped them from her cheeks.'
Nurse Kim picked up the sleeping baby and held her tightly. "Now this baby girl is only an hour old. She weighed 6lbs even and came into the world kicking and screaming. She scored well on her Apgar scores and should be waking up soon to eat. She passed out as soon as we swaddled her up. So, who wants to hold her first?"
"Me!" Rachel shouted. "Sorry honey, but I just can't wait." She smiled at Finn as she held out her arms towards Kim. The baby squirmed a little as she was passed over. Her tiny hand peeked out of the blanket as she was scooped up into Rachel's arms.
Rachel felt the tears pouring out of her eyes as she stared at the beautiful baby in front of her. "Oh my god I can't believe it. She looks like Lainey a little." Rachel lifted the beanie off of the baby's head slightly. "Her hair is brown," she commented as a smile spread across her face.
"Now," the nurse began, "If one of you wants to get into bed or sit in the chair and do skin to skin with her, I can help you with that too. It's great for newborns to bond with their parents that way."
Rachel clutched the baby a little tighter. "I'd love to!."
Nurse Kim grabbed a gown for Rachel to change into. "Finn, you'll have to hold her while I change." Finn's eyes grew wide. He'd never held a newborn for very long. Yes, he had held Warner a lot, but never when he was super tiny. As the baby was placed into his arms, he couldn't believe how light she was. "She's so small," he said as he smiled at her sleeping figure. Instinctively he began rocking back and forth with the little girl in his arms as Rachel emerged from the bathroom with a gown covering her top half.
"A baby looks good on you Finn." Rachel beamed as she walked over to the rocking chair and sat down.
"Now let's unwrap her and place her on your chest ok? Babies love skin to skin contact. You can try after her feed ok daddy?" Nurse Kim took the baby from Finn and began unwrapping her blanket.
"Uh, yeah that sounds good to me," Finn answered.
The baby began to whimper as the cold air hit her skin. Once she was placed on Rachel's chest she immediately started to calm down. A few seconds later she started to scream.
"She knows," Rachel began, "she knows I'm not her mom".
"Nonsense. Give her a minute and then we'll try a bottle. It was going to be time to wake her to eat anyways." Nurse Kim went to get a tiny bottle of formula ready while Rachel began to internally panic trying to calm the baby down.
"Shhhhh baby girl. I've got you." Rachel rocked back and forth and rubbed the baby's back. Finn crouched down beside them, unsure of what to do.
"Here you go mama. Turn her to the side and let's see if she'll eat." The nurse helped Rachel turn the baby slightly as she placed the bottle in her mouth. The baby started sucking feverishly until she latched on well enough to get some milk into her mouth.
"There you go little one. Now finish giving her that bottle and I'll be back in a little while." Nurse Kim exited the room, leaving Rachel and Finn to stare at their new baby.
"We should probably name her huh? I mean the kids are going to want to know what to call their new sister." Finn took out his cell phone to check his texts. "Oh your dad's just got the kids from school so they're headed home."
"Is it that late already? Wow it seemed like time stood still all morning and is flying by since she got here. " Rachel paused to check how much was left in the bottle before returning it to the baby's mouth. "We never talked about names Finn. I have no idea what to call her. She's beautiful though. This is so surreal."
Finn shot a quick text to both grandparents that simply said "Baby is here! Don't tell Zack and Lainey. We will tell them in person tonight."
Once the baby finished eating, Rachel propped her up on her shoulder to burp and she abruptly passed back out on her chest. The weight of this baby on her chest was a feeling she thought she might never feel at all. She may not have given birth to this little girl, but the love she already felt for her was overwhelming.
Rachel continued rocking the baby while thinking about how Finn should tell the kids. "You'll have to go tell the kids by yourself. I am not leaving this baby here with neither of us present. No way."
Finn hadn't thought of that and then he felt guilty that he had even considered leaving their new baby alone at the hospital. "You're right. I'll just be honest with them and hope for the best. Zack's going to want to see his mom if he knows she's here. How do I tell him no? I don't think seeing her is a good idea moving forward. We don't even know what room she's in."
Rachel felt very protective of Zack since they knew they would be adopting him. As much as she knew he was hurting, seeing his mother would only make things worse. "He can't see her. Do you know how upset he would be? Maybe in a few years, not now."
Finn got his fair share of baby time later in the afternoon. Rachel had gone downstairs to grab the lunch they never got to eat. Then Mrs. Kent came in and Rachel handled most of the documents that needed to be signed while Finn ate his lunch with one hand, balancing the baby in his other. Finn didn't mind snuggling his new daughter for the better part of an hour knowing Rachel would want her back immediately once she finished up. Mrs. Kent got on her way, saying she'd return tomorrow at 9 am to hopefully finalize things and they could go home once discharged.
"I haven't held her for so long. It's my turn." Rachel sat down on the hospital bed, the weight of the day catching up to her. "Hand that sweet girl over." Both Rachel and the baby yawned at the same time.
"Why don't I lay her in the bassinet and you both can take a nap. Who knows how much we will be up tonight. " Finn placed the baby in the clear bassinet next to Rachel in the bed. Rachel was too tired to protest. She leaned back on the propped up bed.
"You should probably go home for a bit and tell the kids. You know how cranky Lainey can get towards bed time." Rachel pulled the covers over her tired body. "Oh and in our closet there's a small white bag. Can you bring it with you when you come back? And my favorite sweatshirt? I forgot it on the back of the rocking chair." Rachel had bought a small white outfit for the baby to come home in. She hadn't brought it, thinking it would be bad luck.
"Sure babe. I'll grab that and some clothes for me since I'd like to spend the night here. I should be back in under two hours ok?" Finn kissed Rachel goodbye, then kissed his sleeping baby on the cheek. He couldn't stop smiling.
Finn pulled up to the house around dinner time. It was a very cold night. He parked behind his parents car, trying not to park too close to the snow bank on the side of the driveway. Smoke billowed from the chimney in the crisp air as he walked towards the door. His mom opened the door before he even had a chance to put his key in.
"Hi honey!" Carole threw her arms around his neck. She whispered a quiet "congratulations" in his ear before letting him pass.
"Daddy!" Lainey ran from the living room and jumped into his arms. "Where were you? Where's mommy?" Lainey looked behind him to see if she was there.
"Rachel isn't with me. I came to talk to you guys. Have you had fun with everyone? Are they spoiling you?" Finn placed Lainey down and walked into the living room. "I see you all had pizza for dinner based on that sauce stain on your face huh Zack?
Zack smiled and sat up a little straighter on the couch. Burt, Hiram, and Leroy all were seating on the couches watching a replay of an old Ohio State football game.
Finn asked Zack and Lainey to come upstairs so they could have a quick talk. By the time they reached Finn and Rachel's bedroom, both kids were nervous.
"Where is Rachel? Are we in trouble? Are you sending us away?" Zack stood in the doorway refusing to come in farther.
"What? No. No one is sending you away. You're here to stay remember? Now come sit down and stop being so nervous. I have good news." Finn sat on the giant king sized bed and both kids quickly jumped up beside him.
"Is Mommy sick? She's never gone at night." Lainey grabbed onto Finn's arm tightly.
Finn realized that the kids not knowing where Rachel is was similar to their feelings when their mom would leave. "Rachel is fine. I promise. She sent me to talk to you ok? Now listen very carefully." Finn waited until they both were looking at him in the eye. "Remember when you told us your mom was going to have a baby? Well, she had her baby today. And your mom, well she knows how much fun you guys are having here and how much we love you, so she wants this baby to come live with us."
Finn paused waiting for any reply from the kids, but they just kept staring at him. "So Rachel is at the hospital with your new baby sister and she's so cute." Finn got out his phone to show the kids a few pics he had snapped of the baby before he left.
"I'm getting a baby sister? I didn't even ask Santa for that!" Lainey began to clap and giggle.
"Ugh it's not even a brother," Zack pouted.
"Well just think, now we can do boy things and its only us boys right?" Finn held up his hand and gave Zack a high five. Zack cracked a smile.
"So my mom, she didn't want this baby either. Just like she didn't want us anymore?" Zack asked and his expression changed. "Did you see my mom? At the hospital?"
"No sorry buddy. We never saw her. Remember, your mom decided that it was better for us to take care of you. She still loves you, but sometimes moms and dads, they ...they just mess up."
Zack slumped over slightly. "You and Rachel never mess up. Not big mess ups anyways."
Finn hugged Zack and then pulled him off the bed. He knew that Zack did best if he was acknowledged and then we moved on. "Well we love you and we hope you can be a super helpful big brother ok? Now let's go tell everyone about the baby!"
Lainey and Zack raced down the stairs to the living room. The TV was off and Finn knew they had been trying to eavesdrop on his conversation upstairs. Finn caught up to the kids and whispered in their ears before they could say anything.
"Okay ready?" Finn started, "1...2...3...IT'S A GIRL"! The three shouted simultaneously.
The crowd of grandparents erupted with joy. Hiram and Carole started crying and both hugged each other. Leroy grabbed Lainey and swung her around in the air while Burt high fived Zack. Then everyone did their rounds hugging Finn.
"So what's her name? How is she doing? How's Rachel?" Carole couldn't get her questions out fast enough. She had been dying all day for any piece of information.
"Well," Finn began, "She's doing great. She was 6 lbs and looks a little like Lainey." Lainey beamed. "She doesn't have a name yet, but we're working on it." Finn passed around his phone so the family could get a quick peek at the baby before he headed back out.
"Name her Cinderella!" Lainey shouted. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Well I'll have to talk to Rachel about it. That's a pretty fancy name for a baby." Finn hugged Lainey tightly as she clung to his leg. "Now I need to go pack a bag for myself and head back to the hospital. If everything goes as planned we will be home tomorrow ok?"
Lainey got a little weepy and clung to Carole's leg. They'd never left the kids alone without either of them present. Zack seemed unaffected, but Finn knew he doesn't always show his true emotion.
After getting everything ready and texting Rachel to see if she needed anything, Finn was ready to head out. It was nearly 7pm by this point. Lainey was tired and getting testy. Zack was fine as long as Burt was interacting with him. His parents were going to stay at a hotel, but instead are sleeping in Finn and Rachel's room. Hiram and Leroy were already set up in Finn's office for the night. He hoped the four of them could handle two little kids, but Zack was still very unpredictable.
"Can I get a hug and a kiss before I leave?" Finn asked.
Lainey sprinted over "Me first!" and hugged Finn tightly, then pecking his cheek with a kiss. "Promise you will be home tomorrow? Promise?"
"Of course Lainey! We are just at the hospital close by. If you need us, you can call us ok? I think you'll have fun with all of the adults here, and MAYBE you'll get donuts for breakfast! It's Rachel's birthday tomorrow too don't forget!"
Our of the corner of his eye, he sees Zack walking closer holding something behind his back. He pulled Finn aside and placed an envelope in his hand. "I wrote this for my mom. Can you try to find her and give it to her? Please?"
Finn could see the desperation in Zack's eyes. He placed the envelope inside his jacket pocket to show Rachel later. "I'll try my best ok? Please help everyone with what to do around here. Your the man of the house until I get back ok?"
Zack nodded his head and ran back into the living room. As Finn walked out the door the cold air slapped him in the face. A rush of panic washed over him as the weight of the situation sank in. Yes, the baby was a blessing and they were so thankful, but the effects it would have on the other kids was something they hadn't really focused on. He needed to talk to Rachel.
Finn returned to the hospital just as visiting hours were ending and Nurse Kim passed him in the hall on her way out. "Congratulations again!" she said as she waved goodbye.
He entered the room to find Rachel already dressed for bed. The hospital was nice enough to let them stay overnight to bond with the baby. Their daughter was in Rachel's arms as she paced around the room rocking her. She was wearing a knitted Santa hat, which was different from the pink and blue one she wore earlier.
"Hey! How were the kids?" Rachel asked. She knew it couldn't have been an easy conversation to have. "Were our parents thrilled? I hope the kids were behaving. Did you give Lainey and Zack a kiss goodnight from me?" She was rambling and nervous. She didn't text Finn or call anyone while she was alone. She spent the time bonding with her new baby girl.
"Slow down." Finn placed his bags and the small white bag down on the window seat and held out his arms. "Let me take her. Has she been fussy?" Rachel handed over the swaddled infant, her red hat standing out against the white blanket she was wrapped in. "When did she get this Santa hat? Did you buy this?"
Rachel giggled as she began rummaging through the items Finn brought from home. "No, the nurse put it on her after they took her for some testing. Isn't it the cutest? I guess some local retirement home donates them." Rachel finally reached the sweatshirt she wanted Finn to bring and then pulled the small white outfit from the bag. It was a small white sweater one piece outfit. It was for a boy or a girl, but Rachel had bought a white beanie with a bow on it in case it was a girl. She held it up for Finn to see.
"So I bought this for the baby to come home in. What do you think? If you don't like it your mom would be thrilled to run out and get something." Rachel laughed thinking about how thrilled Carole must be to have another granddaughter.
The baby began to fuss so Finn switched positions and put her up on his shoulder. "Shhhhh it's okay baby girl. Rach I think the outfit is fine. She'll be cute in anything. Hey reach into my jacket pocket. There's an envelope in there. Zack wants me to give it to his mom. He was a little upset about the baby and his mom not wanting any of her own kids. I can't blame him. Sometimes I wish we could fast forward five years until he would maybe realize that this is for his own good."
Rachels stomach dropped. Poor Zack. She reached in to find a small white envelope, the word MOM scribbled on the front in blue crayon. She quickly opened it.
"Rachel what are you doing? He wrote that for his mom!" Finn said trying to keep his voice down.
"I need to see what it says. If I am even considering giving this to her I need to see what it says." Her eyes teared up as she pulled the folded paper out from inside. It was a picture of what she presumed was Julie, Zack and Lainey. They were all holding hands in front of a house that looked an awful lot like theirs. He wrote simply "Hi Mom. I miss u. Do u miss me? I love u." It didn't say much but for Zack to get the courage to write it, it broke Rachel's heart into a million pieces.
"Is it that bad? Let me see it?" Finn walked closer to read it.
"It's not bad," Rachel sniffled, "I just feel so bad for him. Lainey is starting to forget. She is young enough," she paused, "He remembers her. He remembers what she did and didn't do. He misses his mother Finn. I just want to make this all better overnight and I can't."
Finn placed the baby back into the bassinet so he could comfort Rachel. He hugged her tightly, wanting her pain to go away as well. "We are trying our best with him. He's come a long way. He won't forget but its our job to help him make happy memories. Think about how lucky this baby girl is. She'll never have to know the pain that her brother and sister did. She's safe and loved from day 1."
They both stared at the sleeping little girl, in awe of her innocence.
"Have you thought of any names? I don't want to keep calling her baby girl forever. " Finn began to get his pajamas out to get ready to change. Sleeping in a rocking chair won't be pretty tonight, but he wants to help Rachel as much as he can.
"I'm really struggling. I don't want to use any names I had thought of in the past for when I hoped we were pregnant. I just feel weird about it. I thought about maybe Noelle because its close to Christmas? Is that lame?" Rachel got out a bottle and a diaper and laid it out to be ready for the next feeding.
Finn grimaced. "I mean I don't love it but its sentimental to the season I guess. I do love Christmas. Lainey wants to name her Cinderella. She was dead serious too." They both laughed out loud.
"Well, what about Ella? It sort of combines Noelle and Cinderella? Am I reaching here?" Rachel smiled as she walked over to the pair. "What do you think baby girl? Do you look like an Ella?" Rachel pulled back the blanket to take a closer look at her once again. "What do you think?"
"It's perfect," Finn replied. "Ella Hope? I think she's proven that if we had given up a year ago we would not be where we are today."
Rachel choked out a sob as she hugged him. "Finn Hudson I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said. I love it. Welcome to the Hudson family Ella Hope. We love you."
