Disclaimer: Save-Ums belong to CBC, Dan Clark, and whoever else owns the rights now that C.O.R.E Digital Pictures, Decode Entertainment, and Discovery Kids are all defunct.
Please be aware that this story is a work of parody. It is intended to be a satire on the trend of turning classic cartoons into live-action films and all the tropes that often come with them, as well as the original animated series of which this fanfic bears its name. Obviously, I'm not going to be taking this seriously at all, and thus this story is loaded to the brim with self-awareness, and a nice helping of snark, and lines that are so ridiculous you'll think "Yeah, this is definitely a parody, there's no way even the worst adaptation ever would have lines this dumb".
With all that said, enjoy.
RMATJB
It was a morning at Generic High School. Nothing special, just a plain old morning. In front of the front doors at the front of the school, Rosie MacPherson and Tom Smith-Houston, two boring-yet-important characters were waiting out front for their friend, Jackson Hemingway.
Finally, after two minutes, which were treated like an eternity because crappy high school films are nothing if not overly-dramatic, Jackson came running down the sidewalk. He was a speed demon, and you better believe that's going to be incredibly important later. All three went inside to start the film.
"You guys catch the game last night?" Tom asked, establishing his place as the group's token jock.
"I don't really care about sports, man," said Jackson.
"I thought it was cool," said Rosie.
In their math class (apparently the only class that exists in the world of fiction), they all sat at their table, which they conveniently shared. The only other person at their table, Alexa Clowater, was already there. Alexa Clowater was the top student of the class, which of course meant that she wore a uniform that looked like it belonged to a Catholic school.
Class began. The class got out their books and began doing questions.
"Hey, do you know how to do Question #3?" Rosie asked Tom.
"Ask Alexa," said Tom.
They all looked at Alexa, who simply shrunk into herself. They decided to leave her alone and do their work themselves.
When the bell rang, the teacher Mr. Randall called for Alexa to stay behind.
"Mr. Randall, I have another class," protested Alexa.
"Alexa, we only hired one teacher actor, you'll be fine." Mr. Randall lowered himself to her level. "You don't seem to get along with anyone."
"No duh," said Alexa, "I'm a loser stereotype. Everyone hates that kind of character."
"Alexa..." Mr. Randall paused for dramatic effect. "I was in your place once."
"Every teacher says that," grumbled Alexa.
"No, I mean it." Mr. Randall looked into Alexa's eyes. "People get treated unfairly because of stereotypes. That doesn't mean you have to conform to them. I believe you can truly do great things, Miss Clowater."
Alexa, moved by Mr. Randall's sweet (if cliche) speech, smiled and went on her way.
RMATJB
Later, after a time skip to the end of the day, Jackson caught up to Alexa as she was leaving. "Hey, can I walk home with you?"
"Don't you live on a completely different street?"
"Yeah," said Jackson, "but this is a boring high school film, so exposition trumps logic."
"Fair point," said Alexa. They both began walking down the street towards Alexa's house.
"So," said Jackson, "I guess we have to have a generic, fake-deep conversation now."
"I guess…" Alexa shrugged. "Hey, did you know that I am a lesbian?"
Jackson's eyes went wide. He didn't know what he expected Alexa to say, but it sure wasn't that. "Okay. That was…really out of nowhere."
"Yeah, but I didn't say it now, I'd have to wait until, like...five minutes before the credits roll, and I just don't have that kind of patience."
Just then, they were in front of Alexa's house, where a boy was using chalk to draw on the driveway.
"That's my brother Max," said Alexa.
"Is he gonna be important later?" Jackson asked.
"Most definitely," said Alexa, running down the driveway into her house.
RMATJB
There's your exposition. The real action starts in the next chapter.
Yes, this story does have a human equivalent to B.B. Jammies, that's Ben. He doesn't appear in this chapter because full disclosure, he has little to do with the story.
