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One month later Finn and Rachel felt back on track. The kids were back in school and therapy, which meant that their routine was in full swing. Rachel only had to deal with Ella most of the day, which meant they had a bit of a routine too. She finally felt more at ease being a stay at home mom.
It was Friday afternoon, and the weekend of Warner's birthday party. That also meant that tomorrow Rachel would get her spa day from Christmas, and she and Finn would get a night alone in a hotel room. He'd been hinting at it for weeks, making remarks under his breath about what he would do with his wife alone for an entire night. It gave Rachel butterflies in her stomach. They've been trying to reconnect ever since Christmas, realizing that the baby and the kids had sucked every ounce of their relationship dry. Come to think of it, the past few years had practically killed every bit of romance they once had.
Rachel had everything packed by the door. Ella had graciously napped for two hours, which allowed Rachel to pack everyones belongings for the long weekend. Rachel could not believe the amount of stuff they had to pack just to be gone for three nights. The older kids were able to fit in their own small suitcases, but Ella needed three bags of stuff all on her own. She was thankful that Carole and Burt had a crib at their house so they didn't have to bring anything for that.
Just as Ella was waking up, Finn returned home with the kids. Last weekend they had bought a mini van so they could fit their growing family comfortably in the car. Finn had been driving it around this week and the kids loved it!
Zack and Lainey came barreling through the door, throwing their backpacks and coats off before saying hello to her.
"Don't get too comfortable you two! We have to get on the road. Only a quick snack okay!" The kids both shouted "Okay!" in unison before running into the pantry for food.
Finn rushed in from the cold, rubbing his hands together in the warmth of the house. "Man I forget how miserable January in Ohio can be. Are we almost ready to go?"
"Yeah you can start loading the car. I can give Ella her bottle in the van. I'll sit in the middle seat with her. You know how slow she can be when she eats. We can get going and stop when I need to burp her." Rachel paused to pick up Ella out of the playpen. "You're like to eat slow don't you baby girl?" Ella looked up at her mom and smiled wide. "Kids! Make sure you go to the bathroom before we leave please!"
Twenty minutes and a diaper change later, they were on the road. Zack and Lainey were in the back row of the van watching Toy Story with headphones on. Ella had magically fallen asleep within 30 minutes of driving, so Rachel climbed into the front seat so she and Finn could have a moment to talk.
"I think we might be getting the hang of this," she said as she glanced at the kids in the rear view mirror. "I hope I didn't just jinx us." She laughed under her breath as Finn smiled back at her.
"Nah, we've got this parenting thing in the bag right?" Finn was being sarcastic because the past 8 months have been the hardest of his life, but they were starting to have moment of clarity. They could see the light at the end of the tunnel. "The people in the office have been giving me hell for not bringing Ella in. I told them it wasn't allowed until the spring. All we need is her getting sick and she'll be crankier than she already is!"
Ella was getting better slowly. She still was a super moody baby. Finn joked that she reminded him of Rachel when they first started dating, which usually earned him a punch in the arm. Overall though, life was getting easier than it was just a few weeks ago. This trip out of town was a big deal for them all, and a nice chance to get away. The older kids had been talking about it for weeks. Zack had even made a countdown on the calendar in the kitchen.
"Ella will see no one outside of the family until flu season is over. That's non-negotiable. They can see her in April!" Rachel laughed because April seemed like lightyears away at this point. She grabbed Finn's hand and rested it in hers on the center console. "I'm really excited for tomorrow. I think this weekend will be better than New Year's was."
Finn squeezed her hand in agreement. "I think we've planned a little better this time. It was too soon. Looking back we see it but at the time we were sleep deprived and had clouded judgment". He kissed the top of her hand before returning it to her lap. They rode the rest of the way like that, even when Rachel dozed off for thirty minutes before they arrived.
Kurt and Blaine were already at the Hummel's before the Hudson's arrived. The kids tore into the house like a tornado, both rushing to say hello to Burt and Carole. Warner rushed the kids to give them high fives, thinking his big kid cousins were the coolest.
"It's my birthday!" Warner screamed! "We're going to have pizza!"
Kurt pulled Warner away, who was getting a little too excited upon the kids arrival. "How was the drive kids? Where are your parents? Did they fall asleep at the wheel?"
Zack laughed at that statement, knowing that Rachel had been asleep most of the way. "No, they're getting all of our stuff out of the car and Ella was crying."
Soon the room was filled with the sounds of Ella screaming in her carseat that Rachel was carrying and Finn followed behind with what looked like enough bags to stay for a week.
"We're here! In case you couldn't tell!" Rachel and Finn laughed at the sight of them coming into the house. Rachel got Ella out of the carseat which seemed to appease the baby for the time being. "She really hates the car seat sometimes!"
Warner got free from from Kurt's grasp and ran towards his uncle. "I'm three Uncle Finn! I'm so big now! Let's play football!" Finn threw him up high in the air causing Carole to gasp.
"Finn you know that I hate when you throw him up like that! I think its too dark and cold out for football Warner. Let's get ready for your pizza and cake ok?" Carole hearded the three older children into the kitchen while the rest of the adults retrated back into the living room.
Blaine had Willow laid out on a blanket in front of the fire place. "Oh my goodness she's gotten so big! Let me see Ella next to her." Rachel laid Ella next to Willow, comparing how different they were at just two months difference. Ella was still in the tiny newborn stage, while Willow had started to move around more, smiling and trying to grab for toys already.
"It's going to be so fun watching these kids grow up together. Cousin's always have a special bond when they are close. Warner has not stopped talking about them all day! He really loves having them around at family gatherings now." Blaine picked up a toy to dangle over Willow's head.
"You know, I didn't used to mind living two hours away, but now that its such a production to drive down here and back, it seems like we live six hours away." Rachel chuckled and looked back in the kitchen to see Carole giving all of the kids a job to do while Finn stuffed a slice of pizza in his mouth. "The kids love it down here so much. I think they're appreciating the consistency of having people show up for them in their lives. They used to only have their mom for that, and she was lousy at it. "
"What's up with her by the way? Any word from her?" Blaine asked.
Rachel and Finn hadn't heard from Julie since they left the hospital with Ella. Rachel was relieved. Until these kids were formally adopted, she knew anything could happen. All throughout the foster community were stories of relatives coming out of the woodwork for kids, foster parents losing them at the last minute. She knows the system ultimately wants kids with some type of relative, but Rachel knew she was in too deep. Losing these kids would surely kill her. All she needed was a court date to know there was an end to this uncertainty.
Rachel sighed. "No. The kids haven't really asked about her either, which his both good and bad I suppose. Lainey instinctually knows she has a better life know even though she's young. I think a part of Zack might always long for her. He remembers more and carries that with him." She turned to see Zack chasing Warner around the kitchen happily. He really loved being here.
After dinner, the family gathered around the dining room table for cake. Finn had taken over holding Ella for a while, so Rachel was able to snap some pics of the kids all around the cake as Warner beamed. It wasn't until Warner blew out his candles that Rachel remembered. Last year she cried. She went to the bathroom and cried over the loss of her own children that would never be born. She hid her emotions as to not ruin the party. She wished someone would have told her what could happen in a year. She had THREE children now, when last year she thought she and Finn would be childless forever. Rachel looked at her kids squealing as Carole cut the pieces of cake for them. She looked at Finn as he kissed the top of Ella's head as he bounced his body up and down to keep her calm. Her little family had happened unconventionally, but it happened regardless.
"You okay hon?" Finn asked her, seeing tears in her eyes.
Rachel leaned into his side, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm great. Just thinking about what I was feeling at this party last year vs. today. We have three kids and last year at this party I thought we would never have any."
Finn sighed. "That's right. We had just gone through our last procedure. That seems so long ago." Ella began to fuss, breaking up their hug momentarily.
"I'll take her. She's ready for bed. Go make sure the kids haven't smeared frosting all over the place."
Ella is exhausted so she goes down fairly easily. She'll be sleeping in the room with Finn and Rachel while the older kids will be across the hall in Finn's old room. Rachel comes back down to find Finn on the couch with a kid snuggled into each of his sides. Kurt is holding a sleeping Willow and Blaine has Warner changed into his pajamas and everyone is watching Star Wars. Sometimes she still gets overwhelmed seeing Finn as a dad. It was so hard to imagine before they had kids, but now, Finn is everything she thought he would be.
Rachel takes her place next to Zack as she sank onto the couch with her family. Zack readjusted himself so he was leaning into Rachel, wrapping his arm around her and resting his head against her arm. Rachel kissed the top of his head as she felt her body relax. Zack wasn't one to show affection, especially to Rachel. She never forced him, and she noticed within the past few weeks he was starting to loosen up a bit.
Lainey woke them up early the next morning, eager to go to Hiram and LeRoy's house. She was completely dressed and ready to go by 7 am. Ella had been up from 3-6 fussing, so Rachel and Finn were exhausted as usual.
Rachel left Finn and Ella to sleep while she fed Lainey breakfast and Zack watched a show. Burt and Carole came down shortly after, which caught Zack's attention since Burt was taking him to the shop today.
"When are we going to your shop? How many cars do you have today?" Zack bounced across the living room with excitement.
"Slow down there buddy. The shop doesn't open for another hour. I think we have 10 appointments today so it will be busy." Burt smiled seeing his grandson's face light up.
Rachel began writing out Ella's schedule for the day and night since she and Finn wouldn't be back until tomorrow. "Zack, can you help Carole and Burt with Ella when you're home? They don't know the songs she likes during bath time. They're going to need your help."
Zack shrugged his shoulders. "You know she's going to cry the entire bath whether we sing that song or not, but I can help." He had a point, but Rachel wanted to make this as easy as possible on her in-laws.
Finn came down with a freshly changed Ella around 9. Ella kicked her legs in her butterfly covered sleeper as Finn turned her around to face everyone. "Is it considered sleeping in when you were up half the night?" he laughed. "I hope she didn't keep you guys up. It's like she's allergic to the dark or something." Finn grabbed the bottle Rachel had made on the counter and sat down to feed Ella.
"Give me that baby Finn." Carole held her arms out towards him. "You guys need to get going so you can enjoy your day away. I've got her, even if she's going to keep me up all night. The beauty is I get to send her back with you tomorrow, isn't that right sweetie?" She smiled at Ella who stared at her in return.
"Okay then, I guess we can head out and drop Lainey off on our way to the hotel!". Finn ran upstairs, counting down the seconds until he and Rachel could have an entire 24 hours of alone time.
Lainey beamed the entire ride over to Rachel's dads house. She thrived off of one on one attention, and Rachel knew her dads would give her plenty of it.
"Are the two grandpa's going to let me do whatever I want all day long?" Lainey asked from the back seat.
Finn stifled his laugh. "Two grandpas huh? Is that what we're calling them?"
Lainey got very serious with her explanation. "Well there are TWO of them you know. And I don't know any other names to call them besides Grandpa because we call Burt 'Papa" so there's nothing left."
Rachel found this adorable that she had put so much thought into it. "Well you can ask them what they want to be called if you want? You three are their first grandkids!"
"No, the two grandpas is fine. That's what I'll call them."
Upon arrival Lainey greeted them as if they were one unit. "Hi Two Grandpas! What are we doing to do today? Tea party? Makeover? Go to the movies?" Lainey asked as she jumped up and down in front of them.
Hiram and Leroy both laughed as she whizzed through the front door. "How will we know who you're asking for if we are both the Two Grandpas?"
"Oh well you can be Grandpa 1" she said pointing to Hiram, "And you can be Grandpa 2,' pointing to Leroy. "Now what are we going to do today? My brother and sister are at Nana and Papa's so its just me!" Lainey threw her arms up in the air as if she was announcing herself to a crowd.
"We have plenty planned, starting with the movies so why don't you go put your stuff down in your mom's old room and we can get going!" Hiram handed Lainey her bag as she scurried off.
Rachel loved seeing her dad's with the kids, but seeing them with Lainey brought so many of her own childhood memories back. "Call us if you need anything, but she hasn't shut up about this all week so I'm thinking she'll be fine."
"Is it sad that I'm sad that no one really got upset that we were leaving them?" Rachel asked quietly as they drove away.
"I think its a sign that they trust we will come back tomorrow. They're comfortable. We've instilled that in them. They aren't afraid anymore." Finn grabbed Rachel's hand in his. "We only have 24 hours to ourselves, let's be happy ok? The kids are fine, and I'm sure our parents have it handled.
Rachel hadn't thought about it that way. Her sadness slowly turned to elation as she realized how much change they've seen in them in under a year's time. "I guess you're right. They'll be fine and are in good hands." This was the first feeling of normalcy she had felt in a very long time.
The two pulled up to the hotel valet to check in. "Is it bad that I just want to take a nap in the quiet right now?" She laughed as they walked ahead hand in hand. "I can't wait for my spa day though. What will you do while I'm gone for three hours?"
"Nap?" Finn said as he threw his head back with laughter. "I'm kidding! Don't kill me!" He could sense Rachel growing tense. "You need to go and relax. You haven't relaxed in seven months. Take the time and don't worry about me ok? I'll check us into our room and be ready when you're done. Naked time starts at approximately 3 pm when you arrive."
Rachel winked back and laughed as she headed off to the direction of the spa.
Finn got up to the room and got everything settled before he ran out to have a meeting with an old Real Estate friend. Without wanting to stress Rachel out, he was looking to possibly expand their family business. He didn't want to bring it up to her until he had a better handle on the idea.
What he couldn't really wait for was his time tonight with Rachel. He couldn't remember a time where they had spent more than one hour alone besides New Years Eve, and even that ended badly. He so hoped they could have one night with the kids safely being watched and not needing them. Yes, he loved being a dad. He loves it way more than he thought he would, but honestly he missed his wife. He missed who she was before all of their fertility issues and the constant crying. He missed seeing her carefree. He knows motherhood has been rougher than she expected all around, and she amazes him everyday. Finn hopes Rachel isn't close to a breakdown though. He saw her like this once before, right around one of their last fertility attempts. She tries to hide her stress and worries but they eventually catch up to her.
A few hours later Rachel returned to the hotel to find rose petals on the bed, and some room service set up. What she didn't see was Finn. It was almost 4pm, so she decided to lift the trays on the service cart. She was starving and hadn't eaten since breakfast. She found a huge tray of Chocolate Covered Strawberries and a bottle of champagne. Just as she was about to grab one off the tray, she heard a noise behind her and dropped the tray making a huge rucous.
"Trying to wake the dead are we?" Finn came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, with only a towel hanging from his waist.
"Jesus Finn you scared the crap out of me!" Rachel tried to slow her breathing. "I didn't think you were in here." She caught sight of her husband in only a towel and felt a warm sensation rush through her body.
Rachel threw down her bag onto the chair and raced over to him pressing a hard kiss to his lips.
"What is this for?" Finn asked barely removing his lips from hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"This is for seven months of not being able to have sex during the day, or hardly at all."
The champagne and strawberries were neglected as they spent the next two hours getting reacquainted with each other. She couldn't even remember the last time they'd had this kind of sex. Just spontaneous, intense sex.
"Isn't it crazy how long its been since we've done anything like this? I haven't laid in bed naked since June. You know how much I love naked bed time." Finn reached over to pull his wife closer. "Naked bed time used to be our favorite."
Rachel sighed. He was right. They used to spend hours lounging in bed on the weekends, having sex whenever they wanted, until it became all about getting pregnant. Then everything was planned and involved shots and medication and perfect timing. Then the fostering started. Once Lainey and Zack arrived, its been all about them. Ella's arrival certainly threw a wrench in their lives too.
"I used to lay in bed with you and daydream about what it would be like once we had kids." Rachel rubbed her fingers lightly across his chest. " I'd try to picture little versions of us crawling into our bed in the morning and waking us up for breakfast. Now we have the kids, but I really miss this. I miss you. I miss our old life a little bit." Rachel felt Finn lightly kiss her forehead. "I feel really guilty saying that out loud. It's just been a lot you know?"
Finn had predicted this. He could feel her turning inward over the past few months, feeling overwhelmed. "Don't feel guilty. It's not bad to miss RELAXING." He laughed and felt her body shake a little too. "These kids were given to us for a reason. It's been a hard road, but where would they be without us? I can't even imagine them still sleeping in some motel or apartment alone." Finn took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. He tried not to think too much about how the kids used to live and what they'd seen and been through. It was all too much for him. He loved those kids more than life, and it hurts to know that they didn't always feel loved before. "They had to go through some horrible things, and now they have us and grandparents and uncles and cousins... they have a family." He can feel Rachel's tears slowly trickling onto his chest after he says that.
Rachel sat up, pulling the sheet up over her chest. She wiped the tears from her cheeks as she began to speak. "You're right. I know they've had it rough which is why I feel bad anytime this gets hard. They've had it so much worse. This time last year who knows where they were. Probably alone in a motel room. It's just...its been really hard." Rachel began to cry hysterically, shaking as she wept.
Finn pulled her back down onto the pillow. "Hey, hey, its okay just let it out." Finn knew she had been carrying the weight of all of this on her shoulders. She always had felt the need to be perfect, and the experience with these kids had been far form it. "You know what? You're the best mom I know. These kids love you. They go to bed every night with full tummies and warm pj's and hugs and kisses. I know Zack doesn't say it out loud, and Ella is a crab most of the time, but they do. Lainey loves you. She calls you mommy. That's all you've ever wanted right?"
Rachel shook her head as Finn rubbed the hair out of her eyes that had fallen. "Please don't hold this in Rachel. Talk to me. Talk to my mom. Talk to the family counselor. You don't have to be perfect all of the time. I know you're sleep deprived and we are barely hanging on, but it won't be like this forever. Seeing you as a mom has been my favorite phase of life yet."
Rachel dug her face into Finn's chest as she started to calm down. He always knew how to settle her thoughts and make her feel like a million bucks. "Thank you," she whispered. "I couldn't do any of this without you. I just worry we aren't doing everything we can to help them, especially Zack. He's just still so closed off. "
Before they left for dinner, they decided to facetime the kids to say goodnight. Lainey was up first since they knew she'd be the easiest.
Her face lit up on the screen as Rachel connected to her dad's phone. "Hi Lainey girl! How was your day?"
Lainey started bouncing up and down, causing the phone to lose focus. "It was so so good! We went to the movies and I got to have popcorn AND candy! Then we came home and made spaghetti and the grandpa's painted my nails! Now I get to pick THREE books to read before bed and I'm sleeping in your old bed Mommy!"
Finn tried to get behind Rachel to fit in the frame of the camera too. "Sounds like you had so much fun Lainey! Be good and mommy and I will pick you up after breakfast tomorrow ok?"
"Okay! I love you! Bye Mommy and Daddy!" Lainey handed off the phone to Hiram and skipped out of the frame.
"She's been great! She reminds me a lot of you when you were younger Rachel! So much energy and excitement! It's been fun having her here! You two take your time tomorrow morning. No rush."
"Thanks Dad!" Rachel felt pure happiness seeing how Lainey was having so much fun with her grandparents.
They called Carole's phone next, and the house was surprisingly quiet when she answered. "Hi guys! How's your day been going?" They could see Zack walking around talking to Burt in the background.
"Pretty good mom! How are Zack and Ella? Does Zack want to talk? Ella asleep?" Finn really wanted to make sure that Zack was not going to have another incident while with his parents.
Carole smiled widely. "Everything is great! Ella went down about ten minutes ago. Zack helped me get her settled and showed me what she likes. Zack and Burt are going to watch a movie and I think all is well!" Carole turned to Zack and asked him if he wanted to talk to his parents. He quickly grabbed the phone.
"Hey buddy!" Finn said trying to read his face. "Are you having a good time? Getting ready to wind down?"
Zack smiled. "Yes! Burt said he would watch Star Wars with me and we can have ice cream on the couch too!" Rachel's heart swelled. She loved seeing him act like a normal almost 8 year old. "I helped with Ella too like you asked me to."
"Thanks Zack!" Rachel chimed in. "Have a good night and we will see you in the morning ok?" Zack waved goodbye and Carole winked at the two before hanging up the phone.
"Feel better?" Finn asked as he put on his coat.
"They all seem fine. I hope Ella sleeps well for your mom."
"Rachel, my mom did raise a baby already you know. She won't hold it against Ella if she's up a lot. As long as Zack is okay, Ella can be handled." He held his hand out for her to grab. "Now let's go out and enjoy our last few hours of freedom."
Rachel knew she wasn't in her own bed, and the room was silent except for light snoring coming from Finn. She was naked, which was another sign something was off. Her eyes slowly opened to reveal the clock on the nightstand that read 8:14 am. She was in the hotel and had slept beautifully. She hadn't slept in this late in 7 months. Rachel stretched her arms over her head, the cool sheets moving over her body. She felt Finn stir beside her, his eyes remained closed as he rolled towards her.
Finn reached out and pulled his wife against his body, causing her to shriek. "FINN! You scared me!" Rachel giggled as he continued to kiss her cheeks.
"Can we just stay here another day? Think our parents would mind?" Finn hadn't been this relaxed in years. No pressure to get his wife pregnant, no kids running into the room and killing the moment. Just he and his wife.
"Well the kids have school tomorrow and you have to work so, that would be a no! Maybe we can do this again in the spring and be away for TWO nights. What a concept!" Rachel kissed Finn hard on the lips, deepening the kiss to show her intentions. They hadn't had this much unplanned, spontaneous sex in years. It was amazing.
"I mean if you keep this up I'm making them watch the kids once a month!"
They managed to drag themselves out of bed and leave to pick up the kids around 11 am. Lainey actually had such a great time she didn't want to leave. "Can I please stay one more night?" she begged. They convinced her that everyone was coming to visit next month for Zack's birthday and maybe something could be arranged then. Lainey begruginly hugged the two grandpa's goodbye before following her parents to the car.
They arrived at Hummel's shortly after. Rachel was surprised to see Zack waiting in the window to see them pull up. He beamed as they parked the car and he waved excitedly as they walked to the front door.
Lainey skipped right on into the house to find Carole. Zack rushed them at the door, trying to hide his obvious excitement that they were back. Rachel grabbed him for a hug, and for once he didn't pull back. "We missed you last night! Did you have fun here!"
Zack shook his head yes and smiled. "Ella didn't even cry a lot! Nana- I mean Carole was really happy about it." Carole walked in at that moment cradling Ella, trying to ignore the fact that Zack had called her Nana for a second.
"Yes our little Ella was actually a sweetheart weren't you?" Carole said as she kissed Ella's cheeks. "Zack was a big helper and Burt was thrilled to have someone to watch Star Wars with."
After taking almost an hour to pack up the car, they were back on the road headed back to Cincinnati.
"Is it bad to say I'm starting to miss living in Lima a little? I never used to but something about this weekend has me really missing home." Rachel was exhausted but had the best time with Finn this weekend.
"I know what you mean. Living two hours away used to feel liberating, but now I just feel like we're keeping the kids away from everyone." Finn wondered if his plan to expand their business might just work out in his favor.
Zack's birthday fell at the end of February. Rachel had offered to give him a party with his friends, but Zack was hesitant. He had decided he wanted to go drive Go-Carts at the local miniature golf place Finn had driven him by on the way home from school one day. He only wanted his family and grandparents to go. They had learned that Zack was definitely the most comfortable in smaller crowds. The more predictable the situation, the better for him.
His birthday was this Thursday, and Rachel had arranged to bring treats for his class. Zack chose chocolate cupcakes with green frosting and Ninja Turtle rings on top. He'd told Rachel he'd never brought anything in for his birthday before, which tugged at her heartstrings. She knew that was one of the most exciting days of the year for kids, and she was glad this year he was able to participate.
Things had been settling down a lot. Ella was now 10 weeks old and starting to calm down a bit. Rachel had gotten her into a little routine and Ella was finally napping better and much happier. She now was smiling at everyone and loved to sit in her bouncy seat and watch everyone around the room. Rachel was actually able to cook dinner three times last week without Ella screaming which was progress. Zack had not had any blow ups since New Year's Eve, and Lainey was thriving.
Mrs. Kent was coming for a visit today after the kids got home from school. They didn't really get nervous anymore when she came, in fact Rachel welcomed the presence of another adult. If she wasn't so exhausted she would join a moms group, but she's decided she'd rather nap with the baby than put any effort into being social these days.
Finn arrived home with the kids around 4pm, the frigid air following them in from the driveway.
"I can't wait for Spring. I'm so sick of the kids being cooped up inside. I hope it warms up for Zack's Go-Cart racing on Thursday night." Finn shook his hands together after hanging up everyone's coats. "Kids go wash your hands and hang your bags up!"
Rachel smiled at her husband who was busy barking orders at their kids.
"What time is Mrs. Kent arriving? Do I have time to change?" Finn glanced at the clock, unsure of the exact time.
"Yes you have time. Can you check on Ella too? She's actually been asleep for over an hour and I need her up to eat soon so we can stay on schedule."
Rachel quickly made a snack for Lainey and Zack, Zack eating while trying to do his math homework. The tutoring had paid off and he was finally catching up to his peers. His frustration levels had fallen immensely.
Finn returned downstairs with a bouncing baby on his shoulder. "Look who was awake and just chilling in her bassinet! Not even crying and a huge smile when she saw me." Finn kissed Ella's head and sat at the table with the kids. He turned her around on his lap so she could look at everyone in the room. Sometimes he still couldn't believe this was his life. He was in awe at how far Lainey and Zack had come in under a year's time.
Mrs. Kent arrived a few minutes later, Rachel hustling to answer the door and get her out of the cold.
"Hello Hudsons! How is everyone today?" Mrs. Kent had grown to love the family she had been supervising for the past 8 months. It was nice to see fostering work out for both the parents and child. "Let me get some eyes on those kids and then we can sit down and chat ok?
She walked into the kitchen to see Zack still working on his homework. Lainey had finished her snack and was coloring in her art book. Rachel was relieved they were acting like angels and not fighting. The three adults and Ella retreated to the couch to talk.
"So, how has everything been? I know the baby coming into the picture was unexpected." Mrs. Kent held her hands out to hold Ella. She propped Ella on her lap while she waited for an answer.
Rachel and Finn glanced at each other, unsure of how truthful they should be. "Well," Rachel began, " the big kids have been doing great. No major issues since New Year's Eve. Zack is actually catching up academically and Lainey is...well Lainey. So resilient and full of life."
"And what about this one?" Mrs. Kent handed the baby back to Finn so she could retrieve her files out of her bag.
Finn took Ella back into his arms, the baby settling into the crook of his shoulder. "Well we've never had a newborn, so sometimes we wonder if she's just hard, or just a baby."
Mrs. Kent chuckled softly opening her folder in front of her. "Probably a little of both." She began to read over some papers in front of her, scanning the document and using a pen to jot some things down. "Well, it seems like things have progressed paperwork wise. I have a date for you."
Rachel clenched onto Finn's leg, unsure of what this means. "A date? Like for adoption?" Finn could feel her start to tremble immediately.
"Looks like it! How does May 3rd sound to officially become a family? Are you guys free then?"
Rachel's lip began to quiver as she looked over at Finn cradling Ella. He had the biggest grin she'd ever seen on his face.
"Of course we are free!" Finn yelled. "Aren't we Ella?" Finn picked her up and kissed her fat cheeks before reaching over to hug Rachel who was still speechless.
Upon hearing the commotion, Zack and Lainey rush into the room with confused looks on their faces.
"Why did you scream you're free?" Zack asked, walking closer. Lainey jumped up onto the couch and nestled herself between her parents.
"Well," Rachel said wiping tears from her cheeks, "remember a while back when we had a family meeting in here and we told you we wanted to adopt you?"
Zack looked worried but shook his head yes.
"So On May 3rd, we get to go to court and become an official family! Isn't that exciting?"
Lainey of course reacted how she normally does. She jumped up and down clapping and screaming. " I can be Lainey Hudson right? Like at school when they call my name? They'll say Lainey Hudson instead of Lainey Miller?"
"Yep! Zack and Ella too! Everyone will be a Hudson!" Finn glanced over at Rachel who really hadn't taken her eyes off of Zack.
Zack stared at the floor, trying to process what was happening. "So no one can make us leave here right? No one will take us away after that?"
Mrs. Kent stepped in, trying to explain things the best she could. "No one Zack. You'll get to live with the Hudson's forever." She grabbed his hand to turn him towards her. "Listen buddy, I know you've had a hard time, but Rachel and Finn told me how well you're doing and every time I come everyone is happy and fed and warm right?"
Zack nodded his head and he glanced back at Finn and Rachel still seated on the couch.
Rachel instinctively held out her arms towards him. She couldn't quite read him, but she's learned his behavioral cues. He was either going to rush upstairs and slam his door, or throw something.
What happened next though, was unexpected. He walked slowly towards Rachel, and fell into her arms and started to cry.
Finn pulled Lainey back to give them space. Rachel pulled Zack close, hugging him tightly as she too cried along with him. "Sweetie are you ok? Are you upset?"
Zack pulled back revealing his tear soaked eyes. "I …..I was afraid my mom... was going to come take us." He struggled to get the words out through his sobs. "I miss her but I don't want to live with her."
Rachel rubbed his arms and stroked her thumb across his cheek to catch the wetness from falling. "Oh honey. Why didn't you tell us? Your mom loves you. We've talked about this. Sometimes moms and dads just can't take care of their kids like they should. We love you ok? We always will."
Finn couldn't help but tear up himself at the exchange. They've worked so hard with him, but Zack still keeps things bottled up inside. "Come here bud, I want a piece of this hug too." Zack smiled and walked over to Finn, hugging him and resting his head for a moment on Finn's shoulder. Lainey snuggled into next to Ella on Finn's lap.
"Okay then, I'll do one more drop in visit in the spring, but otherwise we will see you in court in May! I love having visits where I get to share good news!"
Mrs. Kent left and Rachel ordered a pizza. It was definitely a living room picnic kind of night. Zack was extra clingy, following Rachel around the house talking to her about miscellaneous things. Something was different. He normally either hung around Finn or kept to himself.
Zack helped Rachel set up the blankets and the plates while Finn fed Ella her bottle. Sometimes Rachel forgets that this house was so empty just a year ago. That dinner would have been the two of them discussing the next fertility treatment and how much money it was costing them. They would have watched TV for an hour and then gone to bed in their quiet house. There wasn't a My Little Pony show on the tv or bottles in the sink. There was no boy carefully placing plates on a blanket to make sure everyone had room to sit.
Throughout dinner Ella managed to play. happily on her playmat while the rest of the family chatted away.
"So Zack are you excited for your birthday this week? Cupcakes at school on Thursday and then go-carts this weekend! Sounds awesome for a boy turning 8!" Finn ruffled Zack's hair to mess with him, earning a smile back.
"Yeah I'm excited." Zack hesitated a bit as he took a drink of his milk. "Um, the teacher said that parents can come have lunch with us for special days." He looked up at both Finn and Rachel and waited for a response.
"Do you want us to come Zack? We will be there!" Rachel gave Zack a high five. "What do you want us to bring to eat? Do kids get to bring special food?"
"Well, most kids parents bring them McDonald's or something and they get to sit at a special table in the cafeteria with their family. So can you do that?"
"Definitely! We will be there!" Zack got up and hugged Rachel in return.
Of course the day of Zack's actual birthday is a mess. They woke up late which caused breakfast to be eaten in the car instead of the pancakes Zack was promised. Finn had a meeting at work, but managed to drop Lainey off at preschool on his way. Once Zack was dropped off, Rachel had a doctors appointment before she had to head to the bakery to pick up Zack's cupcakes and then get Mc Donald's, pick up Lainey from preschool, and meet Finn at Zack's school by noon.
Ella was having a terrible morning and cried the entire drive. Rachel arrived at her OBGYN right on time and once she signed in she took Ella out of her carseat which seemed to calm her down. Last time Rachel was here, it was to get her blood drawn for the last time. She used to sit in these chairs and be jealous and envious of everyone in the room who had a swollen stomach or a newborn with them. As she patted Ella's back who was propped up on her shoulder she realized she blended right in.
The nurse calls her back, giving her the rundown of her checkup today. Nothing fancy. The normal pee in a cup and check all of the parts out. No referrals needed.
Rachel is sitting in a chair with Ella who is now almost asleep when Dr. Lewis walks in.
"Long time no see Rachel! How have you been? And who is this little one?" She asks as she glanced down at Rachel's chart.
"This is Ella. We are in the process of adopting her and her older siblings." Rachel rocked Ella a few more times before gently placing her into her carseat and placing her pacifier in the mouth. "Yes, I haven't been back since last January. My husband and I decided we were done with the fertility treatments and went another route. It was a hard decision but overall a great one." Rachel nervously clasped her hands together, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
"That is amazing!" Dr. Lewis bent over to get a closer look at Ella. "She is beautiful. How old is she?"
"She's 10 weeks. Seems like she's been with us forever." Rachel noticed Ella starting to squirm and started to rock the carseat with her foot.
"I bet! So glad to see you are doing well after the few years you've had trying to conceive. Now let's take a look at your urine sample and get your current history." Dr. Lewis furrowed her brow as she read Rachel's information. "When was your last menstrual period?"
They always ask this question, so you'd think Rachel would be prepared, but as usual she wasn't. "Um, I'm not really sure. Things have been a little crazy over the past few months. They've never been super regular either. Hence the fertility issues."
Dr. Lewis scribbles something in the chart and continues on. "Well Rachel, your urine culture tested positive."
Rachel looked at her confused. "Positive for what exactly?" Her heart started to beat so hard she was sure she was having a heart attack.
Dr. Lewis smiled and laughed. "For pregnancy. You had a positive pregnancy test. I'm guessing you weren't trying?"
Rachel was having trouble comprehending what was being said. "Me? Are you sure it wasn't someone else?" Rachel felt so overwhelmed she could barely speak. "No, we weren't trying. We gave up on that a year ago." It's like all of the events over the past few years flooded her mind. The heartache, the misguided hope, the adoptions. All of that had led her here and she had no idea how or why.
"Well you are most definitely pregnant. Let's see if we can't fit in ultrasound in if the tech has time and try to date the pregnancy since we don't know how far along you are. I'll be back in a few minutes."
Rachel couldn't believe it. She refused to believe it. There was no way she was pregnant after all of this time. She had three kids now, one of them barely out of the newborn stage. There had to be some mistake. She won't get her hopes up. Not now after everything that's happened.
She tried calling Finn but he wasn't answering his cell or his office phones. Her hands were shaking as the Dr. walked back into the room with a nurse and an ultrasound machine. "Are you okay Rachel? You look pale."
No, she wasn't okay. "I'm sorry but I'm having trouble believing what you're telling me. I have a newborn and two other kids I'm adopting. We tried for years and never once did I get pregnant." She sat up on the table and laid down, pulling her shirt up to reveal her flat abdomen. She didn't feel pregnant at all, not that she would know the difference.
Dr. Lewis rubbed her arm as the nurse turned the machine on. "You'd be surprised how much this happens. Sometimes all it takes is for couples to be distracted or stop focusing so much on it and BOOM, here we are."
Rachel tried to fight back the tears as the nurse poured the cool gel onto her stomach. This can't be true. She wouldn't let herself feel one ounce of excitement to avoid the heartbreak yet again. "I still think the test is wrong." She was thankful Ella had chosen to take a nap right now because honestly if she was up and screaming Rachel might have a nervous breakdown from this stress.
The nurse put the wand on Rachel's stomach and Rachel refused to even look at the screen. "So, what are the chances of a false positive?"
Dr. Lewis just looked at Rachel and pointed to the screen. "I would say zero. Look at your baby Rachel."
Rachel whipped her head around to see a small flickering on the screen within a round circular space.
"There's the heartbeat, " the nurse said as she pointed to the flickering blip. "Let me measure to see how far along you are. My guess is you're going to have two kids under one by Halloween."
Rachel couldn't control the sobs that escaped her body as she stared at the screen. The nurse was clicking around to see how big the baby was, and Rachel was terrified. Just because she was pregnant now doesn't mean it will turn out okay. She wished Finn were here or would at least call her back.
"Eight weeks and 2 days," the nurse announced. "What were you doing towards the end of January Rachel? Whatever it was worked."
She printed out the pictures, handing half to the doctor and the other half to Rachel. She stared at the set of black and white pictures. Once cleaned up, Dr. Lewis returned to the room.
"We will see you in four weeks to check the baby again and decide if you want do do any genetic testing. Just stop up front and they'll get you all scheduled."
Once back in the car, she held out the appointment card next to the ultrasound pictures. She couldn't believe it. The Hudsons were going to have a fourth child.
Had to break this chapter up it was getting too long! About three chapters left before this story is finished! Please review :)
