Chapter Twenty-One – Rage and Passion

John finally returned to his room and shut the door, pausing with his hand on the brass handle, his forehead resting against the cool varnished wood. Without moving his head he reached down and unstrapped the heavy belt around his waist, listening to the dull thud as the silver daggers hit the floor. Gritting his teeth he slowly drew his head back before letting it fall forward once more, hearing another dull thud as his forehead hit the door. He did it again. Then again.

Sighing John turned to face his room, a few things scattered about where he'd fished out his hunter gear, but otherwise it was tidy. Clean and tidy. Just so. Just right. Too fucking right! He thought suddenly, crying out in frustration as he knocked over the thing nearest to him, which happened to be a tall reading lamp. Hearing it crash to the floor John moved towards the next object. The waist high bookcase. He gripped the back and pulled roughly, roaring as it tumbled to the floor, books spilling out untidily. Next was the desk chair, which he just hurled off to the right, hearing it clatter against the wall.

"What's going on? Is everything all right?" He heard a few timid voices wondering, a few of them discussing whether or not they should go in. John ignored them as he continued his destructive warpath, pulling his bed covers from the bed and throwing the pillows across the room. The voices grew more anxious with the next few crashes, one of them building up the courage and finally deciding to go in to see what was wrong.

"It's quite alright. I will handle this, thank you." A new, and completely unwelcome, voice announced. The voices outside immediately became subdued as the newcomer gave them gentle assurances that everything was fine and that he would take care of it. Seeing that they were dismissed the other students quickly returned to their rooms and shut their doors. "John. I'm coming in." The voice warned gently, John pausing in the middle of the completely destroyed room.

"What is it?" John snapped as the door opened to admit Ichijou, whose blue eyes looked around in mild disinterest. Stepping inside, being careful of the broken glass and shattered wood, the blonde vampire silently closed the door. He paused to survey the damage, ignoring John's question.

"My-my, just look at this mess…" Ichijou chided lightly, forcing a small smile as he leaned down to lift one of the battered books from the debris.

"Leave it!" John hissed curtly, Ichijou's hand pausing just inches from the leather cover. Ignoring John's order Ichijou lifted the leather bound bible into his hands and raised it for John to see, noting the way his eyes tightened a little at the choice of book. "What do you want?" The Australian asked again as Ichijou lifted the small round table to its shaky legs and dropped the bible onto it, where it sat staring at John accusingly.

"To see how you are…" Ichijou trailed off, knowing that wasn't the right thing to say. John had always hated him for constantly mothering him, but then somebody had to do it. John let out a hollow laugh at the sentiment, his cobalt eyes turning on Ichijou accusingly.

"And how am I?" He asked coldly as he stepped closer to the well-dressed blonde, not giving him time to answer as he decided that Ichijou looked far too prim and proper. Gripping his shirt John pushed the boy into the door, raising him to his tiptoes with a scowl. Despite spoiling for a fight John could see Ichijou wasn't going to rise to it. There was nothing but sympathy and care in his crystal blue eyes. John dropped him and turned away with a huff.

"You're not yourself." Ichijou replied as he stepped away from the door, hesitating as he reached out to John. He wasn't supposed to touch him. John's shoulders shook slightly before he turned to the wall and punched it roughly, his fist remaining against the cream plaster for a few moments as he gritted his teeth and held his breath. "John!" Ichijou exclaimed as the exorcist drew back and punched again, a small indent forming in the plaster. At the next hit it cracked, and then it crumbled, a small hole forming where John's fist pounded, the cream mixing with smudges of blood. "Stop it!" Ichijou cried as he lurched at John and held him back, managing to turn the exorcist towards him.

Feeling himself locked in Ichijou's arms, John fought back, the vampire showing his strength as he managed to keep a hold on the human boy. John turned towards Ichijou, ignoring the angry tears in his own eyes as he rammed the vampire back, hearing a thud and a grunt as Ichijou's head and back collided with the window. Letting out a stream of calmness Ichijou watched as John's anger slowly faded to be replaced with helplessness and guilt.

"I did it…I killed her!" John cried as he leaned his head on Ichijou's chest, the vampire ignoring his personal rule as he enclosed John safely in his arms. There really wasn't a lot he could say to that. John had killed Jemima.


John ran down the deserted street, rain dripping down his face and soaking through his trench coat as he ran, his sapphire eyes desperately searching for her. He'd seen her. It had definitely been her running away from the corpse. The rain was washing away the blood from her latest meal, making it difficult to continue hunting her. Where would I go to hide? John wondered as he looked around the streets, pausing beside a cathedral. It was true about vampires being vulnerable to holy relics, but they could still go inside the churches as long as they didn't touch the ornaments.

John opened the large oak doors and stepped inside, his eyes searching the semi darkness as he walked between the pews towards the large open space near the alter. The scene brought back unwanted memories. He didn't want to think of home and Jemima, not at a time like this. John pulled out a silver dagger and listened as his eyes searched the darkened alcoves. He hadn't expected an attack from high above.

John felt a weight land on his shoulders and fell back, his head bouncing on the carpet and spinning slightly as he looked up at the contorted feminine face above him. Her tangled, soaking, ebony hair spilling down to brush his cheeks as it had so often in those few happy months. John reached up and cupped her cold cheek, ignoring the new lines and her stretched mouth with long bloodied fangs.

"Jemima…" He sighed warmly, eyes widening as her head shot down. A scream broke free as her sharp fangs ripped into his throat and she began sucking painfully. John brought his legs up and sent her flying over his head, watching as she landed on her feet and slid back a few feet across the polished marble floor to the side. He barely had time to roll to his knees before she was flying towards him on all fours like an animal, her nails like claws as she held them out and racked his cheek, neck and chest.

Rolling to the side, John got to his feet and held his dagger ready, knowing that it was for the best. He had to do it. It was his duty as a hunter, as a Christian, and as her husband. Jemima stayed low as they circled each other, her movements more like a starved, feral beast than anything resembling human. Finally she lurched forwards, John finding himself on his back once more. His dagger was still clutched tightly in his hand as he looked up at what had once been his wife.

"I'm sorry…" He apologised, wincing as she returned to his throat, tears falling down his cheeks as he slowly reached up and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. He pulled her closer almost tenderly, his fingers lacing through her hair as he cried. "He was right. I should have let you go when I had the chance…I'm sorry." He cried as he leaned his head on hers, feeling his strength slowly draining. I have to be the one…He thought as he gripped the dagger, pressing a kiss to Jemima's ear as he turned his face towards her. "I love you." He whispered in a cracked sob, gritting his teeth as he thrust his arm up. He cried as Jemima's inhuman scream filled the echoing hall.

Through his tears John watched as Jemima arched up and threw her head back, her howl dying as she ran out of breath. Her head fell forward to look at him, her once beautiful eyes now a pain filled crimson. John reached up and cupped her cheek, feeling the weight on his torso lessening as she started to turn to dust. The grey sand slipped through his fingers as it reached her face.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry." John cried as he turned onto his side and clutched a handful of dust, his chest still heaving as he put it in a vial and stoppered it, holding it to his heart as he got to his knees and grabbed the dagger. He held it to his own throat tip first, intending to ram it through. He tucked the vial in his pocket, along with a note for Ichijou. John held the cool silver with two unsteady hands, his eyes closing as he breathed shakily through the tears. John pulled back and lurched forwards.

"What are you doing?" Ichijou demanded angrily, John's eyes snapping open as he felt the dagger torn from his hands as a new weight knocked into his chest. The hunter fell on his back once more, pain throbbing through his skull. "This isn't right!" Ichijou snapped, his hand both bleeding and burning as he gripped the dagger, which he swiftly tossed across the room before clutching his hand to his chest. His blue eyes were accusing as he looked down at John.

"I have to! I can't!" John cried as he lowered his head, hot tears pouring from his eyes, a cool touch stroking them away. "I have nothing left!" The hunter added, his voice barely a whisper as he leaned his head on the young vampire's chest. Warm arms held him, comforting him.

"You have me." Ichijou whispered back, feeling the human clutch his dirty white shirt in response, tugging him closer. Their clothed bodies pressed together in the open hall, surrounded by gentle candlelight. Ichijou let his hand wander along John's blood and rain soaked back, the rough leather of his coat slipping beneath his fingers.

"Ichijou, I need…I need…" John cried, unsure what he was asking for, but knowing that he desperately needed it. Ichijou hushed the human boy as he slipped off the heavy leather coat and let it fall beneath John's back. John pulled back slightly and froze, unsure exactly what was driving him as he reached up and pulled Ichijou down by the back of his neck until their faces were inches apart. Ichijou hesitated as John froze before leaning in to close the distance. It was what John had wanted after all.

John pushed him back in horror and put his hands over his face, shaking slightly as his mind ran a million miles a minute. What was he doing? He was a Christian! He was sitting in the ashes of his dead wife! Ichijou was a vampire! An unholy creature! And yet…And yet…John raised his head as he felt Ichijou's hands on his shoulders, the lithe body leaning against him, easing him back to the carpeted ground.

"You need to be more careful." Ichijou chided gently as he leaned down to lap at John's wound, the sensation against his throat sending shivers through John as the hot tongue worked at his sore skin. The pain lessened as Ichijou allowed his blood to heal the ugly wound, though it would leave a nasty pale scar. Vampire bites always did. John's head felt fuzzy as Ichijou pulled back to look down at him, his blue eyes now a gentle crimson. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" Ichijou asked, not waiting for a response as he relieved John of his bloodied black shirt and tossed it aside, running a hand over the bare chest before him.

Not knowing what to do, or what he wanted to do, John remained still as Ichijou examined his chest in a way John had never felt before. The vampire's fingers glided over his pale skin, barely touching the surface, but somehow not tickling at all. John almost gasped as Ichijou leaned down to the shallow gashes on his pecs that Jemima had left. The vampire's tongue slipped slowly up and down his skin, the blonde almost smiling as he felt John's heartbeat quicken.

Finished with John's chest, Ichijou's hands moved up to glide across his collarbone and throat, stroking his face gently, exploring every contour. Ichijou leaned down once more to press a chaste kiss to John's frozen lips, placing another at the corner of his mouth and working down his jaw to his throat and collarbone, healing the scratches on his cheek as he went. The burns and cuts on Ichijou's hand healed quickly with the fresh blood.

"I can't." John objected, making to sit up, but finding Ichijou's hand on his shoulder, pushing him back. John could feel Ichijou's presence pouring over him, tempting him, calming him, twisting his thoughts, drowning him. John tried taking deep breaths to ease his mind, but that only washed Ichijou into him more, his feeble struggles against the boy on top slowly calming to nothing, leaving nothing but a deep need.

"You can." Ichijou whispered in response, leaning down to capture John's now willing lips. He smiled warmly as the human boy reached up to pull him closer, the hot blood racing through his veins in a burning rush as he reached up to pull open Ichijou's shirt, not even bothering with the buttons. "I'll have to sew those back on." Ichijou complained lightly, his lips returning to John's as he stroked down the boy's chest and stomach.

John let out a small gasp as Ichijou's hand rested firmly over his crotch, the vampire breathing in John's delicious scent as he felt the hardness through his wet black trousers. John's mind was a haze of pleasure, confusion and fire as he looked up at the red eyed boy, feeling like he was about to be devoured. His oceanic eyes widened as Ichijou's nimble fingers unbuttoned his trousers and slid the zipper down, his hand creeping inside to stroke over his black underpants.

"Hush…You know I won't hurt you…" Ichijou sighed as he leaned down to John's ear and licked the lobe before pulling back to stare at John's stunned face. The human boy was completely at his mercy. He was confused, overpowered by Ichijou's scent and extremely aroused. It had been a long time since Ichijou had felt like this about another being of any kind. He had wanted John for a long time, finding it harder and harder to resist. He was so innocent, so helpless.

"Ichijou…Stop..." John pleaded hazily, gasping as he felt Ichijou's bare hand touch his member. His hands reached up to rest against the vampire's chest, but he didn't have the strength or will to push him back. John let out a strangled moan as Ichijou pulled his member out and gripped it a little tighter, moving his hand up and down slowly. Ichijou watched as John's mouth opened slightly, listening to the gentle intake of breath as he ran his thumb over the head, feeling a warm liquid at the tip. "What are you…" John trailed off breathlessly as he watched Ichijou crawl backwards.

John watched, somewhere between shock and horror as Ichijou leaned down, his tongue darting out to lick the wet tip. John gasped at the sensation, a sensation he hadn't felt in what seemed like years. Ichijou was torturously slow as he slid his mouth over John's shaft, moving up and down, taking it in very slowly, inch by agonising inch. He held down John's hips, the young boy writhing in guilty pleasure. Ichijou closed his eyes as he moved his head up and down, feeling John building, his member throbbing in his hand as he squeezed and sucked. The blood was rushing through John's veins, and his heart was pounding, his breaths gasping.

"Ichijou?" John questioned as he was turned onto his stomach and pulled to his knees, his trousers and pants pooled below his thighs. His shaky arms couldn't support his body as he dropped to his elbows, his head still swimming as he heard Ichijou loosening his trousers. A gentle hand stroked his back from his neck all the way down, Ichijou's hand running over John's rear almost lovingly.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." Ichijou promised as he pulled John back against him, John's cheeks flushing as he felt something hard but soft press against his bare skin. John tensed slightly as Ichijou's fingers stroked between his legs. It was strange, since he wasn't a woman.

"Are you going to…" John trailed off nervously, Ichijou almost scoffing at the thought.

"What a Roman thing to do! No, I won't." Ichijou replied, almost amused as he slipped his length between John's closed thighs, the human clearly surprised as he felt the tip of Ichijou's member brush his scrotum. "It's much cleaner this way." The vampire added as he began to move. John found the sensation strange, though that thought flew from his mind as Ichijou reached around to grip his neglected length.

John fell silent as he felt Ichijou's weight press against his back and behind, his breath hot against John's neck. His skin was getting hot. His knees and elbows ached with the weight pressed against them, and the constant motion, but all that seemed to matter was the feeling Ichijou's hand was causing. John could feel a throbbing pleasure running through is body. Ichijou's hand and thrusts quickened, the slapping sound of flesh on flesh getting faster and louder.

John came with a strangled moan, feeling relieved, disgusted, embarrassed, confused and somehow warm all at the same time. He felt something trickle down his manhood and thighs, and knew that Ichijou had also come. The vampire pulled back and rolled John onto his back in an exhausted emotional heap.

"Here, let me clean up." The vampire said, as if nothing had happened. He moved down and licked up the semen from John's skin, the human boy doing his best not to think about it as he lay looking up at the high ceiling of the cathedral. He cringed as his eyes saw the cross. The figure of Christ looked down at him accusingly.


"You can't bring her back." Ichijou whispered in a comforting tone, his hands stroking John's back through his shirt. It had been so long since he'd held John like this. Breathed in his scent. Felt the muscles of his back tense and soften. John shifted against him silently. "It couldn't be helped…It had to be done." The blonde added firmly, John nodding his agreement. Farringdon had turned her into a mindless monster. John had freed her soul by destroying her, though he had yet to place her ashes at the church as he'd said he would. He was waiting for the end to come first.

John looked up with red rimmed eyes, the tears still fresh on his cheeks giving him a tragic sort of beauty that Ichijou found impossible to resist. He looked so helpless and innocent, his cobalt eyes searching for something in Ichijou's gaze. Ichijou eased him back slowly, John barely noticing where they were heading until his legs hit the edge of the bed. He fell back, bouncing slightly on the firm white mattress.

He froze as Ichijou crawled onto his body, straddling John's hips as he held himself above the human. His golden curls rested unruly on the white mattress, a few strands falling into his blue eyes. He flinched slightly as Ichijou reached down with one elegant hand and brushed the golden locks away from his eyes, smiling warmly at the vulnerable boy beneath him.

"Don't." John objected weakly as he reached up to push Ichijou back, looking up at his hands as Ichijou pinned them above his head with one hand. The human gasped slightly as Ichijou ground his hips against John's crotch. "Ichijou!" John pleaded as the blonde used his free hand to lift John's black shirt, sliding it over the boy's head and up his arms to his pinned hands. There were a lot of scars lacing the once perfect pale skin, and Ichijou had been present for most of them. John nibbled his lower lip as Ichijou leaned down and kissed each one, his tongue darting out to swirl one of the pert nipples.

Ichijou almost smirked as he felt John's struggles lessen, his hips rising to brush his crotch. Testing John's will, Ichijou lessened his grip on the boy's wrists. The arms immediately reached up to pull the vampire down, their lips fusing together breathlessly. Ichijou reached up and unbuttoned his own shirt before allowing John to tug it impatiently down his arms, letting it fall somewhere on the floor.

John had no idea what he was thinking as he allowed Ichijou to remove his black trousers, the boys moving further onto the bed so that their legs weren't hanging off the end. There didn't seem to be much on his mind except the feel of Ichijou's skin and that overpoweringly sweet scent. It felt like he was drowning in a sea of need and desire. He gasped as he felt Ichijou's bare skin against his, their members brushing as Ichijou pressed down, the sensation sending shivers through John's body.

Ichijou's lips pressed to his once again as he moved back and forth, the movement making John harden, pink rising to the human's cheeks as he felt the slightly sticky moisture on his pelvis. Shifting back, Ichijou licked and nipped his way down to the damp area, his tongue licking up the salty liquid before moving lower. John let out a small moan as Ichijou took him into his mouth, a hand raising to grip his hair as the heat started running through him.

What am I doing? This isn't…John trailed off, forgetting what he was thinking as Ichijou sucked harder, looking up with impishly satisfied blue eyes as he watched John's head toss back and forth. His breaths came in light gasps as the pleasure coursed through him. Ichijou enjoyed the sound of John's blood rushing through his veins, the warmth of his heated skin and the scent of his hormones. Reaching down Ichijou gripped his own erection, feeling it throb in his hand, quietly surprised he was so close already.

"Ichijou…I can't…" John's gasped, his breath stopping as he came with a defeated cry. Ichijou felt the warm liquid hit the back of his throat, swallowing quickly before he gagged or choked. Sitting up, Ichijou tried to get his breath back as he continued pumping his own erection. His eyes opened in surprise as he felt a warm hand covering his own. He was too stunned to speak as he watched John, the human's eyes focused on the erection in his hand, his cheeks slightly flushed as he felt Ichijou's eyes upon him. John had propped himself up on one arm, his legs still trapped beneath Ichijou as he knelt before John, closing his eyes with a gasp as he came. He opened them as he felt John jerk in surprise, letting out a small chuckle as he saw his own seed running down John's cheek and throat.

"Here, let me." Ichijou purred as he leaned forward, his tongue darting out across the hot pale skin. Ichijou pushed the boy back onto the bed, rolling beside him and looping an arm over his bare chest, his fingers stroking the pale skin, tracing the various scars. "How are you feeling?" The vampire asked eventually, John staring at the greying ceiling with vacant eyes.

"I don't know." He replied simply, feeling strangely numb about the whole experience.


John stirred slowly, his mind foggy as he let his eyes wander across the grey ceiling, trying to piece together exactly what had happened last night. He had come to his room, feeling emotional. That's an understatement…He had let loose on his room, and then Ichijou had arrived and…

John sat up with a start, his blue eyes darting around the room nervously, noticing for the first time that the duvet was over his naked body. But that was on the floor…He thought, looking down to find that the pillows had been placed under his head. Even more startling was the state of his room. Everything was back to normal. The shattered lamp was standing unharmed by the door, the bookcase was back with all of its books, and the chair was back at its desk. Everything was normal.

Was it a dream…or a nightmare? John wondered, his cheeks flushing at the memory of Ichijou pinning him to the bed. It must have been a nightmare! There's no way I would let him do that again! This isn't like last time. I'm not grieving, so there's no reason for me to…be like that. What is the bishop going to say when I confess this to him? A dream about a vampire, a male vampire! He's going to think I've slipped up again, that I've sinned!

"Good morning." Ichijou's voice rang, John's eyes darting to the door as it opened, the blonde vampire standing with an easy smile in the doorway, holding a tray. John sat speechless as Ichijou crossed to the bed and put the tray on his lap, the small legs stopping it from sliding about. John froze as Ichijou sat on the edge of the bed and looked across at him. "How are you feeling?" He asked gently, always gently.

"I-I…" John stammered before closing his mouth, his eyes sinking to the tray on his lap. Seeing the direction of his gaze, Ichijou reached across and lifted the silver plate cover to reveal a plate of bacon and eggs. It was John's favourite breakfast, though he didn't get to eat it often these days. John flushed, surprised that Ichijou had remembered something so trivial. He'd even remembered the freshly squeezed orange juice and hot cup of English tea, with just a little milk and one sugar.

"You must be hungry." Ichijou prompted, watching quietly as John raised the silverware and began to eat. A silence hung between them, John shifting nervously as he ate while Ichijou tried to pretend it wasn't awkward. This was why he'd had the rule about touching John. He was always so nervous afterwards. He has beliefs that I should have respected, but…Ichijou trailed off, his blue eyes rising to catch John's slightly deeper eyes watching him, both looking away on contact.

"Ichijou…Last night, did we…" The human trailed off, Ichijou feeling his chest drop slightly at the silent question. Ichijou nodded in response, quietly hurt by the look of disgust that crept over John's face. Although whether it was disgust for Ichijou or self-disgust the vampire couldn't tell. Seeing Ichijou's reaction John decided to look away, suddenly finding the blank wall very interesting.

"Why is that so bad?" Ichijou asked defensively, John sighing at the familiar question. It was one he had asked before, and John's answer had been full of devout faith and belief, though those beliefs had been tested a few times since then. Shaking his head the human turned to look at the blonde vampire.

"You don't understand my faith. This isn't supposed to happen! I'm married!" John added, the vampire quickly relieving him of the tray before it ended up on the floor. Laying back in frustration John watched the lithe boy carry the tray to the small round table before returning to the bed. One knee rested on the edge as he leaned down over John, one arm propped on either side of the human's head.

"You were married! John…She's been dead for a long time now…I think you already know my feelings on your faith." The vampire added half-heartedly, watching as John stared up at him like a cornered rabbit, his blue eyes wide as he waited for what Ichijou would do next. "You like this, don't you? The feeling of not knowing what I'm going to do…the anticipation." Ichijou purred as he slowly lowered himself, John staring wide-eyed until the vampire's face was just inches from his. "I never forced you." He added before pulling back.

"That's not fair and you know it." John replied vulnerably. He knew that he was weak willed. He didn't need Ichijou to remind him of his failings. Ichijou almost scoffed as he stood back, watching as John turned on his side so that he could watch Ichijou more comfortably. The vampire began to pace slowly, steady elegant steps.

"Not fair? What's not fair is you constantly hiding behind your faith! You know it's wrong, so why do you respond? Why do you pull me closer instead of pushing me away? You know I'd never force you…Why is this all my fault?" Ichijou demanded as he stopped pacing and looked at John, waiting for a response of some sort. He was almost amused as John raised the duvet over his head, as if that would make the problem go away. John listened with his eyes shut as Ichijou took the few steps over to his bed and tugged the covers back. "I want an answer." He insisted, not angrily, but firmly.

"I can't…I can't give you one!" John replied helplessly as he looked up at the vampire. He felt like a scolded child under that light blue gaze, his cheeks flushing as he shifted his eyes. Ichijou sat down with a sigh and ran a gentle hand through John's golden curls, enjoying the flush in his cheeks as he did so.

"You know I treasure you…I only agreed to stay away because it was best for you…It's not fair that you've come here." Ichijou complained, though they both knew it hadn't been John's fault. In fact he probably would have stayed away if he'd known Ichijou were here. John looked up as Ichijou's hand stilled in his hair and slowly withdrew. "Is your faith really what's stopping you?" He asked finally.

"I'm a Christian! Catholic! An exorcist! This isn't allowed! Especially with you!" John replied, flushing at the choice of words, too ashamed to look Ichijou in the eye. He chanced a look up as the boy beside him remained silent, the hurt clear on his face as he looked at the door. He was trying to seem less hurt then he was. "I didn't mean…" John trailed off guiltily.

"What's wrong with me? You've only been back in my life for five minutes and I'm already acting like a love sick puppy." Ichijou said lightly, a hand rising to his closed eyes. John tried to convince himself he hadn't just wiped away a tear. "So last night was a mistake not to be repeated." He added as he rose to his feet, John feeling a strange tug in his chest. His hand reached out to touch Ichijou's hand before it was pulled away. "Make up your mind!" Ichijou sighed coldly as he shook off the gentle touch, John pulling back guiltily.

"Sorry…" John apologised as Ichijou made his way towards the door, pausing as he pulled it open to look back at the bed. It was hard to resist the temptation of turning around and ravishing the boy just to prove him wrong. But then he would push me even further away next time…

"You know my feelings John…I'll give you today to make up your mind about your own…I'd like to think that your God wouldn't disapprove of love, no matter what the gender or species, but if you think differently…Either way, I will meet you on the rooftop of the school building tonight for your answer." He added before forcing himself to leave the room, leaning back on the door as it closed behind him. Gritting his teeth Ichijou pushed off the door and walked downstairs, fully intending to return to his own room to rest. It had taken a long time to fix John's room.

Within said room John stared at the door stunned, unsure what he had to make up his mind about. His faith said he couldn't allow himself to continue this…whatever it was. Ichijou was a man. Worse than a man, he was a vampire. That's two sins rolled into one with a neat little bow on top. John sighed as he shifted his gaze to the ceiling and folded his arms beneath his head. He could do without Ichijou. He'd managed the past year or so. He hadn't missed him. Not one bit. Not the way he made him feel weak. Not the way he stroked his hair. Not the way he remembered the little things. Not the way it felt when he pinned him to the bed. Not the way it felt when he…

John turned onto his side in disgust and raised one hand to his hair, feeling like pulling it out by the roots. What's the matter with me? Have I turned into some kind of…monster? John wondered, his thoughts turning to Jemima, the way he'd felt about her. It was different to the way he felt about Ichijou. In some ways…John corrected, deciding a shower would be the best way to clear his mind of this nonsense. He loved Jemima, and he was a Christian. That's all there is to it.