Chapter 12: Lucy's Apartment
Lucy's apartment was nothing Laxus had anticipated. He thought that he would be seeing an absurd collection of magic items, some dumb statues, or strange plants; most female mages he knew were always into those things. However, her place seemed to look… normal.
She owned a large number of books in her bookcase, though, but that didn't really surprise him. She did strike him as the kind of person who was into doing decent stuff that good girls were interested in—like reading. Ha.
Aside from the bookcase, the main room also had a dining table with three chairs, a red armchair, a coffee table, a simple dresser, a study desk, and a comfortable-looking bed. Pink wallpapers covered the walls, and the wooden floors looked polished as if they were thoroughly scrubbed and cleaned.
Ah, what a cozy home she had. Laxus could smell her sweet natural scent everywhere, which stimulated his senses, and it only heightened when his eyes fell on the bed near the window. So, that was where Lucy would always sleep. Then, his mind pictured her lying there, wearing a sheer nightdress, her silky blonde hair caressing her face and slim shoulders, her soft lips parting slightly…
He shook his head, trying to control his thoughts, but it was futile. All he could think about right now was continuing what they had started back in Raven Tail's hideout. Mavis, he wanted her so bad right now that it took all of his self-control not to grab her and then—
"Listen," said Lucy, interrupting his thoughts. "I'm going to, uh, take a shower first. Just, you know, make yourself at home."
The idea of her taking a shower didn't seriously help at all. But she was already walking toward the other end of the room. He watched her push the blue curtain that separated the main room and bathroom and disappeared from his sight.
Laxus slowly walked around the place, eyeing her stuff until he caught a framed portrait of a blonde woman placed neatly at the top of her desk. He realized that she bore a resemblance to Lucy, so he figured that the woman was the celestial mage's mother.
He didn't see her anywhere in the Heartfilia mansion, so he presumed that she had already passed away, leaving Lucy under the care of her heartless father. That was something that they shared in common.
Laxus suddenly heard the shower turn on, and he whipped his head in the direction of the bathroom entrance. He gritted his teeth when the fragrance of lavender and her scent filled his nostrils moments later.
Seriously, I'm having a hard time believing that she only invited me over to talk, he thought, looking at the clock hung on the wall. It was past bedtime. What else would a man and woman be doing at this hour if they weren't sleeping? Certainly, they wouldn't only be talking.
But Laxus knew that he shouldn't get his hopes up. When they kissed back in Raven Tail's hideout, he was sure that he had won her over. However, when he tried to kiss her again, she suddenly appeared reluctant and then acted strangely after that like she regretted it or something.
The thought of Lucy regretting their kiss was something the lightning mage couldn't accept. If he needed to remind her how right it felt to be in each other's arms, then he would be willing to kiss her again. Kiss her until she realized that there was no more room for doubt in her pretty head.
The hot water felt good on Lucy's skin. She smiled to herself as she rubbed her favorite soap all over her body. At last, she got rid of the stench of the earth that had clung to her. There was no way she would be having a conversation with the lightning mage with her smelling like crap.
There was no doubt in her mind that Laxus would want to know where they were going with their relationship since their kiss. In truth, she wasn't sure herself. The thought of dating the lightning dragon slayer made her heart race with excitement, but she feared that she wasn't ready for a romantic relationship yet. She still wanted to prove to herself that she was capable of anything like taking on a strong opponent and protecting her friends.
Whenever she was with Laxus, his imposing presence and strength overwhelmed her, making her feel weak and incompetent. She didn't know why, but it was different when she was with Natsu, Gray, or Erza; her friends would make her feel motivated to get stronger so she could fight alongside them.
Lucy sighed. Well, there was no point in prolonging the agony. She needed to get this over with since she still needed to leave early tomorrow. She was going to have to turn Laxus down because dating him now just didn't make any sense to her.
Besides, the lightning mage was such a complex guy. One minute he would be nice to her, and the next, he would be a complete asshole. Then, he would apologize for acting out his feelings. Yeah, he would be a handful.
It wasn't that she couldn't handle his horrible attitude because she certainly could stand up to him. In fact, she found his disposition challenging in a way that it would frustrate her yet excite her at the same time. But right now, she didn't exactly feel the need to be dealing with that crap when she had more important things to do.
One of these days, she was going to prove to him that she wasn't the weakling he thought she was. Although he did say that he regretted trying to get her to quit Fairy Tail, the thought of him initially believing that she didn't deserve to be in the guild made her insides burn with anger.
She was going to get stronger. Maybe she would never surpass Laxus' incredible strength, but at least she could show him that she wasn't a burden to the guild and that she was capable of protecting her comrades.
Crap. Why can't I just move on from this? Why do I feel the need to prove myself to him of all people? This need is awfully addicting, but I can't help myself!
It was addicting. And toxic.
As if growing up with a toxic of a father wasn't bad enough, she thought bitterly. Always having to prove herself of being worthy of a Heartfilia had made her sick to her stomach.
No, she wasn't going to get looped into another toxic relationship.
There's no way.
Having made her decision, Lucy quickly stepped out from the shower, dried herself with a towel, and then put on a bathrobe. When she believed that none of her curves were showing, she cautiously stepped outside the bathroom, her eyes searching for the blond stud.
Much to her annoyance, her breath was caught in her chest when their gaze locked. She never thought that her attraction to Laxus had grown this strong that it was difficult to fight it. She swallowed hard.
"Hi," he uttered, his voice deep and rich. He was sitting by the dining table, leaning his back casually on the chair.
It was all Lucy could do to not cower back into her bathroom as she felt her blood rushing to her face. She nodded at him in response, not sure if she could find her voice yet. Then, she awkwardly walked over to her dresser, pulled out a few clothes, and then went back to the bathroom to change.
A couple of minutes later, she finally looked at herself in her bathroom mirror as she combed her damp hair with her fingers. She glanced over her yellow cotton top and white shorts, pleased that she looked plain and simple in them. Apparently, she didn't want Laxus to have the impression that she was trying to look good in front of him. She was, after all, going to turn him down.
Or was she?
Spirits, I really need to get myself together!
Walking back to the main room, she seated herself opposite to Laxus and wondered if he could hear the thundering of her heart inside her chest. She realized that he probably could when one of the corners of his lips curved up into a half-smile.
"So? Let's talk," he said, clasping his large hands together on the table. "What's up?"
Lucy cleared her throat. "Right," she muttered. "Um, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but… what happened between us back in the Raven Tail hideout…" She bit her lip for a moment. "I-I think we should just forget about it."
"I don't understand," he told her, his thick brows furrowing. "Didn't you say you like me?"
She hesitated. "Well, yeah..." He certainly wasn't going to make this easy for her. He was looking at her so intensely that she thought she might melt.
He leaned forward. "Then, what's the problem?"
"I-I've been dealing with a lot of things lately," she went on, "so I don't think I'm ready to be dating anyone."
But Laxus didn't look convinced. "Look, Lucy. We all got stuff going on with our lives, but I'm sure they're things that we're capable of handling. We're adults. Why should they stop us from being together?"
Lucy didn't answer as she was at a loss on what to say. How could he phrase things in a way that made a lot of sense? It made her feel like an inept child who often made lame excuses to get out of a situation. But none of what he was saying, though they sounded rational, felt right to her. Spirits, he was in no position to invalidate her feelings toward the matter.
"I know you think that my feelings aren't important," she began, but he immediately raised a hand, his eyes widened in surprise.
"Oi, oi, that's not true," he argued. "What I'm only trying to say is…" He trailed off for a moment, fumbling for the right words. "I still want to be with you, and if you're dealing with stuff, then I want to be there for you. All I'm asking is for you to let me. Is that so hard?"
"Why do you want to be with me?" she asked in frustration. "Why me in particular? What's so special about me, huh?"
It was Laxus' turn to be silent. He was obviously in shock by her sudden outburst.
Angry tears started forming in Lucy's eyes. "You know what," she said curtly. "I hate being around you. You always make me feel so weak. Is that why you want to be with me? So you'll have someone to walk all over—?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" he growled, his eyes flashing. "I don't think that way, so don't you dare accuse me of this."
Laxus could feel his heart being ripped out of his chest. What was going on with her? She was babbling nonsense and started tearing up. Was he really that awful of a person?
Maybe he was. After all, he did try to kill everyone. Maybe he didn't deserve her. But, Mavis, did he want her, but not for the reasons she thought.
"Look," he told her, his voice carefully controlled. "If you really don't want to be with me, then I'm in no position to force you. If you want us to forget what happened between us, then fine. It's your call."
Lucy wiped her tears from her eyes with her hands and breathed heavily. She realized that what she had said to him was rather unfair. She was making him the bad guy again when it was her own insecurities that brought doubts in her mind.
"Are we done talking now?" he asked, leaning back against the chair and drumming his fingers on the table.
The blonde chick slowly nodded her head without looking at him. She looked so sad and hurt that Laxus couldn't bear watching her in that state.
"Good," he murmured. Then, he got up from the chair, grabbed her by the upper arm, and pulled her toward him.
Lucy let a yelp of surprise when the towering mage suddenly wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. She could feel his chin resting on the top of her head.
"Laxus...?"
"It's okay."
The next thing she knew, he was gone.
Laxus thought that he was going to lose his mind the moment he left Lucy's apartment. He headed straight to a local bar that he knew was going to be open until the wee hours of the morning. Yeah, he definitely needed a drink. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway after getting rejected by that blonde chick.
He chuckled silently to himself. He wasn't used to getting rejected by women, but there was always a first for everything, right? How could a woman admit that she likes a man but then refuses to be with him?
An interesting person, indeed, Lucy Heartfilia was. What he wouldn't give to win her affections, but, ah, she already made it clear to him that he didn't have a shot.
The attractive barmaid at the counter finally handed him a bottle of beer. She winked flirtatiously at him, and Laxus nodded his thanks.
"I never thought I'd be seeing you here drinking by yourself, Laxus," a familiar voice said behind him.
Laxus turned around and grinned broadly, recognizing the scent. As expected, he saw three pairs of eyes staring back at him.
The Thunder Legion was finally back in Magnolia.
