In a room in the Mather's domain, there was a blue-irised maid, picking a dress to wear during the date with her beloved.

She was choosing between a cute white dress, complimented by pink; a blue elegant dress with a white spot around the belly; and finally, a purple dress which exposed a lot of skin, not because it was supposed to be like that but it was Ram's old dress that Garfiel tried to sniff and that happened.

She thought about choosing the white dress but realized stealing a dress from Emilia may get her frozen to death. She then wondered if she should wear the blue dress, it was elegant and matched the colour of her eyes, but she remembered how her beloved told her that,

Flashback

"blue is ugly. You're ugly the way you're too. Purple supremacy," the perverted purple enthusiast stared at Emilia's plump bottom as he said that making Subaru strike a protective T-pose and block his line of sight.

Flashback ends

She felt a bit hurt by that comment, but she would change her identity and would give up even her human rights if it meant her beloved was happy. Her only regret was that changing the colour of her eyes wasnt possible, or she would have done it in a heartbeat.

So finally, Rem decided to choose the purple tattered dress so it would make her beloved lanky man happy.

She looked at her favourite 'mahagony' perfume but reconsidered and sprayed the 'Ripened banana' perfume on herself instead, that her beloved had lovingly requested her to wear.

Flashback

"But—" Rem

"No buts. Our relationship ends if you can't even adhere to your loved ones opinion," Lanky purple guy.

Flashback ends

She applied a lipstick, washed her face and applied some powder on her face as quickly as possible, not only because she was excited to go on a date with him, but also because she would rather get her butt cheeks clapped than her face cheeks with a loud hard slap like last time.

After the purple-haired maid was ready, she picked up a purse in case her beloved wanted to go eat somewhere. She giggled a little remembering how cute it is that he keeps forgetting to bring his purse on dinner dates. She took some money out of her life savings and her sister's too. He eats very expensive stuff after all; and when Rem told him that she doesn't have enough money last time, her beloved told her to—

Flashback

"You useless woman!" Purple guy

"~hk" Rem flinched as she was about to get berated for her mistakes.

"What do you mean by you don't have money!? I only ordered a farfeit, a burger 3 pizzas and an appa, and you don't even have any money for that!?" Lanky guy

"~hk; Iam sorry. It's just that you're getting fat and I am worried you will suffer from chronic elbow disease—" Rem began crying as she was being realized how useless she really is, truly... She didn't deserve Waluigi-kun

Before Rem could finish her words, Waluigi slamned his hands on the table, "Go beg for money in Arlam village if that's what it takes. Now go!"

"But—"

"No buts—" As Rem was about to speak, she got interjected and Waluigi waved his hand in a shooi-ng motion.

Rem, teary eyed, looked around for what to do, fortunately, the owner of the store saw that, called her to the bar counter and told her that he wasn't going to charge her because she was a hot girl and helped him relieve himself in the corner.

Rem, unaware of the man's kindness, just heaved a sigh and went back to Waluigi.

Flashback ends

The purple-haired maid was determined to do everything right this time. She won't ruin anything, she would overwork herself but make sure that her beloved is happy.


On her way out of the mansion, Ram noticed her and came running to her.

"Good morning, Nee-Sama," Rem beamed at her.

"Rem! What are you wearing!? Please don't go with that man, Rem, you and everyone around you will only be left with regrets!" Ram said desperately.

"This is just your old dress, nee-sama. Don't worry. He acts in such a way just because I keep making mistakes in our dates, if I do it perfectly this time, he would surely treat me better. And it doesn't matter even if he doens't because I deserve it anyway." Rem said with confidence and a smile.

"Plea—"

Tip-taps

Before Ram could say anything more, Rem ran away from her, leaving the red-haired maid devastated.

Why did she have to love that man out of the hundreds of thousands of men this world has?... Why couldn't she love someone else?... Like a donkey, maybe a prostitute or even Barusu, who would care for her if he was to fall in love with her.

She always chided Emilia-sama for her taste in men but...

Ram for the first time in her life, felt envious of the half-elf.


She felt guilty for running away from her sister even before she could finish her words but Rem was getting late. If she didn't make it in time, Waluigi-kun might tie her up again and pull out a book about romance and say, "READ N-WORD! READ" like last time.

Running, running. Running faster than ever.

Running, running. She could feel her beloved's hand slamming on her face with tremendous velocity.

Running, running. She felt guilty for thinking about herself whilst it's her beloved that was kept waiting.

Running, running. The horniness for Waluigi's tall cocc fueled her legs.


The purple-haired blue-eyed maid finally reached the designated spot Waluigi-kun decided to meet in.

"Oi. Ripened banana. Why did it take you so long to reach here?" Waluigi tapped his foot on the ground, waiting for the exhausted Rem to catch her breath and answer.

"Sorry, Waluigi-kun. My—" As the purple-haired maid was about to say who made her late, she reconsidered remembering what Waluigi did to Subaru when she took his name, "—bad. I slept longer than usual today."

"You... y-you useless woman!!" Waluigi outraged.

Rem closed her eyes in an effort to shield herself and waited for the slap to slam onto her cheek.

But instead of a slap, came Waluigi's calmly spoken words, "Well, I am in a good mood today, so I will spare you the all-day vibrator treatment."

"Thank you, Waluigi-kun! You're truly so kind!" Rem realized that she didn't dodge a bullet, she dodged a fucking missile there and quickly apologized to make sure he doesn't reload his missile launcher.

"Well said, I truly am a very compassionate and merciful existence... And yet you still don't love me," Lanky purple guy.

"What made you think I don't love you!? I love you more than anything, Waluigi-kun!" Rem

"And yet you come so late to spend your useless time in our precious date?" Waluigi guil-tripped Rem with one eye closed.

"~hk" Rem flinched as the pangs of guilt stabbed her heart.

"Anyways, I will be taking you to a special place today," Waluigi, "One that truly suits you." He said the last part with a wink.

Rem eyes shone with a lustre not seen since she was manipulated by Waluigi-kun into thinking that he cared for her, "Where will you be taking me?" Rem blushed, realizing that they were about to do something so romantic for the first time.

Waluigi walked holding Rem's hand and telling her to keep her eyes closed.

They walked and walked, then soon reached their destination as indicated by Waluigi-kun saying, "Open your eyes."

As Rem opened her eyes and let the bright light in her eyes—

HAPPY ENDIN—

It was a fucking laundry.

"Huh?" Rem let out a dumb sound beffudledly.

"This is the special place," Lanky weirdo

"..." Rem didn't respond.

"Why are you not answering? That's rude when I went through the effort of finding a place that suits you like I mentioned earlier!" Waluigi began laughing like a madman as he was done saying those words and the world faded white, as the fanfiction came to an end.

L