She'd been countin' down the days since literally six months ago. But now the day had arrived, and Anne Maria was ready. She settled into the couch, tucked a bucket of caramel popcorn underneath her arm, and double-checked to make sure her phone notifications were off. Her entire schedule revolved around this event, and no one was screwin' it up.

"Aw yeah!" When she was sure everything was good, Anne Maria tossed her phone to the side and fumbled for the remote. Eight minutes until Real Housewives of Pahkitew debuted its season six finale. She needed to be ready.

One perfectly manicured thumb slammed down on the power button. Eagerly, Anne Maria waited for the TV screen to burst to life.

It didn't.

Huh?

Glossy lips pursed, Anne Maria tried again. Her flatscreen remained as dark and lifeless as her flatmate's wardrobe.

Speaking of flatmates, maybe that's how she could get some dang answers. "Jo!" Anne Maria hollered. "The stupid TV ain't working!"

Jo emerged from her bedroom wearing a typical ugly black hoodie and stained grey track pants. "Oh yeah. Forgot to tell you, but the TV got screwed up last night."

"What?" Anne Maria spluttered. What crazy universe was Jo livin' in? Her confusion quickly melted into anger. "Whaddaya mean you didn't tell me? How'd it break?"

"Someone—and I'm not naming names—got a little rowdy during our Olympics watch party."

Right. Anne Maria wanted to slap herself. Anne Maria had been out clubbing while Jo stayed in and watched the crazy sportin' events with all her jock friends. And now guess what? Anne Maria was payin' the price for letting that happen.

"Listen, blondie, my favorite show starts in six minutes, and I ain't missin' this! Fix the TV right now!"

"Do I look like an electrician? Just stream it online like a normal person." Jo pointed to Anne Maria's phone.

I shouldn'ta picked a roomie who doesn't understand reality TV. "That ruins the experience!" Anne Maria snatched her hairspray from the couch side table and leveled it at Jo like it was a mace. "Get me watchin' Real Housewives or I'll use this, I swear I will!"

She was ready to beat down Jo right then and there, but Jo just scowled and backed away. "Chill out, TV Addict. We live in an apartment complex full of cheapskates and morons. I'm sure someone would let you borrow their TV if you begged hard enough."

She slammed her door shut.

Fine. If that's how it was gonna be, she'd be glad to get out of this musty apartment. Anne Maria grabbed her popcorn and her purse and stormed into the hallway. Gah, Jo acted like scum of the Earth sometimes. I never shoulda signed the lease with her.

Time was of the essence. Anne Maria knocked on several doors but moved on when none opened after thirty seconds. The first person who opened their door was a ginger dude whose apartment smelled like a pigsty. She decided to risk it; no way was she settlin' for that. The final person on this floor was Staci, who swore up and down she would've let Anne Maria in except for the fact her entire extended family was throwing a reunion bash in her kitchen, but Anne Maria was welcome to join because her great-aunt Carlotta had invented—

Anne Maria slammed the door in Staci's face. With no luck and three minutes 'til the premiere, it was time to head downstairs. Right as she stepped in the elevator, Anne Maria got a text from her good-for-nothing roommate.

My friend lives in 8C. Maybe he'll let u in lmfao

Okay, that was better than nothin'. After the elevator spit her out on floor eight, Anne Maria pounded on door 8C like her life depended on it. For a few seconds, there was no response. Anne Maria bounced impatiently on the soles of her feet, thinking, If Jo set me up for a prank I swear I'm gonna kill her.

But then the door cracked open a smidge, and two pretty blue eyes stared at her.

"What's up, girl?"

Anne Maria didn't have time for his attractive voice or for pleasantries. "Hi. I'm Jo's roommate. Let me use your TV."

She shouldered the door further open but got two steps into the apartment before she was stopped by the neighbor's bulky arm.

"Woah, woah, woah. You can't just waltz in here like you own the place. Maybe for a price, I'll let you in."

No wonder this guy's friends with Jo. What a skeaze. "Listen, I ain't got money and I ain't a degenerate, so how 'bout this: you let me in so I can watch my show, and I'll split my popcorn with you.

That got his attention, pathetically enough. Guys and food, Anne Maria thought dismissively. They were so easy to buy out.

The man stepped aside and Anne Maria practically dove onto his couch. Popcorn scattered across his floor. She'd picked it up after the finale concluded. When she spotted the remote, Anne Maria snatched it up.

"Here we come, Real Housewives !" she yelled, switching it on. She'd made it, with only a minute to spare.

The program started. Anne Maria's eyes were glued to the TV screen. A lot of stuff had happened in the previous episode, and even more drama was unfolding in the wake of it. Like last week, Scarlett had insulted Sugar's makeup behind her back. Tonight, she was payin' the price.

"Get her!" Anne Maria shrieked as Sugar attacked Scarlett with a broom. This was top-quality entertainment.

The first commercial break popped up. Anne Maria stretched her arms, arched her back, and twisted around. She nearly jumped out of her skin: the dude was propped up against his kitchenette counter, arms crossed, and staring at her intently.

"What the! Have you been watching me this whole time?"

"Stranger's in my apartment. Gotta keep an eye on you. You might steal something."

"Do I look the type to steal?" Anne Maria challenged him with narrow eyes.

"Maybe. Don't take it personally, though. I had ten apartment robberies under my belt before I turned eighteen." The guy was smiling now, and Anne Maria thought, What? Jo had never struck her as the type to hang around with criminals.

Or the type to hang around guys with crazy green mohawks. Now that she had a chance to catch her breath, Anne Maria was fixated on the psycho hairstyle. This man could learn a thing or two from her.

"I'm Anne Maria," she said. "Just in case you were curious."

"I wasn't." He uncrossed his arms, rose to his full height, and casually walked from his kitchenette to the side of his couch. "I go by Duncan."

"Nice to meet you, Duncan. Howdaya know Jo?"

"We met at a concert," he said simply. "And here's a question for you: the heck are you trying to hide with hair like that?"

"Ayo! Dissin' my hair is the fastest way to land yourself in a hospital!" He's one to talk. Look in the mirror lately, bozo?

"What are you gonna do? Leave my apartment?" he teased.

Anne Maria was gonna beat him to death. "You're just as annoying as Jo, you know that? And I ain't even known you for ten minutes."

"If you hate Jo so much, why are you guys sharing a frickin' apartment? That's like, self-imposed prison."

Before Anne Maria could explain herself, the familiar jingle of the episode's theme song played. The commercials had ended. "Shush!" she demanded. "Sit down and watch with me or go away, but don't stand there like a creep."

Duncan plopped down on the couch. His couch. He lounged, one leg fully extended so his foot brushed against her thigh, the other leg propped up to be used as an armrest.

He was cramping her style. But she couldn't really complain because for one, this was his apartment, and two, she needed to pay full attention to Real Housewives of Pahkitew.

A few minutes in, it happened: "So… what's the tall chick's deal?"

" Shush !" Anne Maria said while Jasmine poured her heart out in another talking head interview. "Her boyfriend got killed in a boatin' accident and now she's a single mom."

"Harsh. Kid's gonna turn to a life of crime."

Anne Maria threw a popcorn kernel at him. "Shuttup!"

It was another eventful ten minutes. Every time one problem was resolved, three new misunderstandings, revenge plots, and backstabbing traitors popped up in its place. And through the whole thing, Duncan kept asking questions. Anne Maria would hiss the answers under her breath. Annoying.

At the second commercial break, Duncan said, "You promised to share your popcorn with me, toots."

Anne Maria begrudgingly passed over the remaining popcorn. Like a slob, Duncan tossed piece after piece in his mouth.

"So back to our previous discussion." A popcorn piece bounced off Duncan's upper lip and fell to the floor. "Why are you rooming with Jo?"

"We took a self-defense class together last year. She was new in town, so a few weeks later I offered her a place to stay 'cuz I'm a nice person. And rent would be cheaper.

"Not workin' out?"

"We get along for the most part. But sometimes she pulls crap like this, where she doesn't tell me the TV isn't workin', and now what the heck am I supposed to do?"

He was grinning. "You're here with me, right?"

Anne Maria just stared back. Someone needs to deflate this guy's ego. "You'd look hotter if you buzzed off the green."

"Harsh!"

"You insult me, I insult you."

"Okay, I get it, I get it." Duncan ran a hand through his mohawk, a surefire sign she'd made him self-conscious. Good.

"What I don't get," he said, "is what exactly is going on in this show of yours."

"First of all, this is Real Housewives of Pahkitew, so jot that down." But Anne Maria adjusted her position so that she could face Duncan while she explained the basics of the plot. There was a lot going on, like how Amy had accused her twin sister Samantha of kissing her husband in the maid's quarters. Or how Ella hosted a beach party and "accidentally" forgot to invite Sugar. Or how Sky broke her foot and was now being tended to by her clingy ex-boyfriend.

"This is psycho," Duncan said when she'd finished up. "Sounds just like the drama at the prison yard."

The show came back on, so Anne Maria didn't pursue Duncan's prison comment. He was quieter this time around, thanks to her explanations, but she noticed that he commented in all the right places: "Yikes" when Sugar accused Ella of being a backstabbing lowlife, "Harsh" when Scarlett snidely told Sky she'd never walk properly again, and "Come on!" when Jasmine sold her penthouse to the couple next door.

It was probably the best episode Anne Maria'd ever seen. Well worth the wait for sure. When the credits started rolling, she whooped and clapped and almost knocked their popcorn on the floor.

"Dude, that was insane," Duncan said. "I love me a good catfight."

Anne Maria looked at him. Over the course of the episode, they'd both accidentally migrated to the center of the couch, and now they were so close that she felt the tickle of his leg hairs on her own. All of that to say, his attractive face was now a few inches from her own.

"Oh yeah, for sure," she answered. "So what, did I getcha hooked on reality TV?"

"You mighta sold me on it," he admitted. "Can I stream the rest of the series? Is that a thing?"

"Yeah. Not without me, though. I'll watch through the entire series with you."

"With me? You don't even know me."

Maybe Duncan was implying he was a dangerous serial killer or somethin'. Anne Maria decided not to think about that. "Sure, but I'll take any excuse to watch Real Housewives. Plus," she added as she pried her popcorn bucket out of Duncan's hands, "I'll get to know you while we're watchin'."

"Hmm." Duncan considered it. "That doesn't sound half bad, all things considered."

"Wanna watch tomorrow night?"

He shook his head, and for the briefest moment, Anne Maria felt a pang of disappointment. What the heck?

But Duncan held up his TV remote and said, "Why don't we just start watching now?"

Oh. A grin crept onto her face, and Anne Maria took the remote from him so she could look up the TV show. "Now you're speakin' my language."