Chapter 21
"Maybe that's what life is…a wink of the eye and winking stars.
– Jack Kerouac
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November 29th, 2029
Dear Dean:
Yesterday we celebrated DJ's 7th birthday. He likes to be called by his nickname better than his actual name. According to him, his friends at school think it rocks. I don't much about today's society, being honest. I am a 46-year-old man with gray hairs that wears glasses now. I don't think I need to explain more than that.
It was the most emotional party he has ever had since he was a little toddler. Gen and I bought chips, cupcakes and vegan food for some of the kids whose moms are too strict with them. He really enjoyed the sandwiches, eating at least six or seven of them. His appetite is growing stronger as he gets older, but he is in good shape. He loves sports, such as baseball and basketball. His Play Station is one of his favorite things to use when he is free from homework. He is not the three-year-old kid that was trying to leave the diaper stage anymore.
Dean is officially a little man, and surely acts like one. It is almost as if he has an old soul, and everyone can notice that.
Gen came up with the idea of adopting a puppy, since he loves dogs, and somehow, still misses Miracle. He was too young to remember him, or so I thought. He always tell us he loved running in the garden with him, making him feel very happy.
I was not ready to have another dog in my life. Miracle was the end of an era for me, but I would do anything for Dean. It is almost like I am making him and you happy at the same time. It sounds nuts, but it is a comforting thought. He named her Mila. She has black fur and a beautiful amber eye color. I think she is a mix with a Labrador. Playing with her reminded me of the days when Miracle was young and it was just him and me in Rufus's cabin.
Jody and Garth's family came along to celebrate his birthday, and his kids played along with DJ and his friends. Castiel is a little weird, but I sort of expected that; for carrying his name, I mean.
DJ asked why one of the twins has a familiar name, and why one shares mine. I thought you would like to know the boys are now ten years old, and his daughter is fifteen years young. I explained I had a friend who was pretty much an innocent angel named Castiel. I also explained that his uncle Garth named his other son after me, because he and I are best friends. After a couple seconds, he said, "Oh, so that's why you named me after uncle Dean! You loved him a lot, too!"
I nodded with a genuine smile on my face. I don't cry as much as I used to these days. Nine years have passed since you left this earth. I don't force myself to think you are coming back again, most of the time anyways. I think of you, and remember your last words. You said you would never leave my side, so you kept that promise until this day. Thank you for never leaving us. You always gave me a hand when I needed your help. You are the first person I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last person I see in the photo I printed when I am about to go to bed. A younger version of you standing right next to me, smiling at the camera, while Bobby is not too thrilled to be in the picture.
Gen doesn't say anything. She understands how important you are to me.
So, now we are a family of four. Mila is the second child we could never have, but man; the puppy energy is as exhausting as having a newborn all over again.
I asked Gen if I could take Dean with me on a road trip for the night. I wanted him to experience how important Stargazing is to live a full life. I wanted him to experience those endless nights when we could be just two normal brothers, even when the world was ending. It was one of those moments that gave us hope, when nothing else could do it. Do you still remember that? I bet my soul you still remember us like that. Maybe that is one of your memories of us up in heaven?
Gen agreed with me and said she would stay home, cleaning the mess people left behind after the party. Dean sat in the backseat of your beloved Impala. When he is older, he will ride shotgun.
DJ did not know what we were doing. Not entirely, at least. I played some of your favorite Metallica songs while driving, and he liked them. After I explained what a cassette was, and why they were there, he said he was going to listen to those songs from now on. I will never be free from classic Rock, I believe.
My ears are not grateful, but my heart is filled with joy.
After I parked in the middle of nowhere, I sat him in the hood of the Impala. He was looking around, amazed by the view. There was no buildings. Just nature at its finest. I handed him a soda, as I opened mine. I don't like to drink beer in front of him. It doesn't taste the same since you passed away. It never will, but I believe that trying to get through this new normal life couldn't be possible without some alcohol in it.
He pointed at the stars, trying to find a figure made out of them. I could not be quiet this time, but someday, he will feel peace just by watching them shine. One day, he will know how precious life really is. Maybe he will continue this tradition when he has a family of his own. That would be amazing.
After half an hour of pointing at the stars, he said that the brightest was the one where Miracle was playing along with you. I didn't even mention your name the entire time he talked about them, but he remembered what I told him when his pet passed.
With teary eyes, I nodded quietly as a response. You and Miracle are indeed the brightest stars in the night sky.
It was past midnight when he fell asleep, lying in my arms. I carried him back to the car, and headed home. It is four o clock in the morning and everyone else is sleeping, yet I am wide-awake with Mila by my side, writing this letter to you. Taking my little kid see the "Shiny Diamonds", as I called them as a kid myself, was something I wanted to do this since I found out Gen was pregnant with him. I hope you saw us there, big brother.
We are still a great team together, don't you think?
Sammy
Author's Note: Hey guys! Here is another chapter! I am fast-forwarding time, so the fic does not become boring or too long to read.
I will fill the blanks that were not shown, creating memories for our dear Sammy. I am proud of this fic, I must admit. As I explained, it was born out of my own personal grief, after losing my dad to covid seven months ago. Some things Sam feels is what I am going through, so that's why the grief feels so real to some of you when you read these chapters.
I hope I can tell my future children about him, and do the things we used to do together. He always made my days better.
Thank you for the amazing reviews! If you have a minute, please, feel free to leave a review or suggestions for future chapters!
Take care. See you sometime soon.
KW.-
