A few weeks later Fred Jr. and Irene had gotten married. They did it in secret at the Reverend's home with only the Lay's as witnesses. Helen wanted to make it too, but the timing wasn't right, since she was so busy at college.
"Congratulations you two…." Frances smiled, hugging her new daughter in law….and then her son, lingering a little. "I am proud of you…..You know that don't you?" She whispered to him, a tear sliding down her cheek.
"Yes Mama…." Fred Jr. smiled, and hugged his mother closer.
"It's going to be so different without you at home. You're my boy! It's going to be hard for me to see you go!"
"I'll always be your boy, Mama….Whatever I do and wherever I go, I'll always think of you…..Do you know why?"
"Why?" She asked, trying to smile, even though she didn't feel well. She felt so tired still and sick.
"Because….you're the best Mama in the whole world….I mean it." Fred Jr. smiled, and kissed his mother on the cheek. "Love ya, Mama…"
(
Charlene was in her dorm room, and heard some music being played in Helen's dorm. She sneaked over and peeked through the crack in the door, which was open a little. There Helen was, sitting on her bed, playing some song on her guitar.
"That's a pretty tune, I didn't know you played the guitar!" Charlene sneaked in, which surprised Helen a little.
"Yes…." Helen smiled. "Learned when I was a little girl. Violin too…."
"Can you sing?"
"A little…"
"Sing something! That song you're playing!"
"Oh okay…it's sort of depressing….like a breakup song, kind of…"
"Play it!" Charlene said excitedly.
"Okay, okay…" Helen laughed and began to play and sing.
"Yesterday I looked at you
and then suddenly I knew
that one day our life together ends
and at once I felt sad
and thought the world was bad
only memories are our friends.
Once I'll have to say goodbye,
then all the joys will die
only memories are our friends.
Still I think it's not true
and I'm never leaving you
when I said this you gently stroked my hands
then you smiled knowingly
you knew what once will be
only memories are our friends.
Every night, every day
you're still with me on my way
On that plain with its crossings and its bends
only time has to hurt
one day he will ask what
then just memories are our friends
Once I'll have to say goodbye
then all the joys will die
only memories are our friends…."
"That was so sad! Beautiful song!"
"Thanks, Charlene…."
"You're welcome…..too bad this college doesn't have a music program!"
"Why would they?" Helen chuckled a little.
"It could be your own business, Helen! You could teach people how to play!"
"That would be a good idea for a job!" Helen said.
(
"I just wanted to make sure everything was alright, Dr. Clark. My symptoms this time around are more extreme….I'm tired nearly all the time! I rest quite a lot…." Frances was at her doctor's one early and crisp November morning.
"Um, Mrs. Lay….." Dr. Clark started to say, but Frances continued.
"You know, I thought it wasn't very possible now!" She laughed a little. "Fred being older….yet, he does keep himself young and healthy, and I'm still fairly young, almost 39,….it still is quite possible. " She smiled and let out a happy sigh. "Yet it's a little hard to believe!... My oldest is married now, and they'll be having a little one of their own in a few months…..and my youngest is in college! Soon I'll be telling them they'll have a new sibling….It's unreal." She chuckled. "Fred and I are excited….I know he's always wanted another….and I finally do!" Frances laughed and smiled at Dr. Clark.
"Mrs. Lay, please sit down a moment."
"Well, alright….Is anything wrong?"
"Mrs. Lay. I….I don't believe that you're pregnant…"
"Well, how can I not be? I have all the symptoms!"
"I really don't think that this is pregnancy…..some of your symptoms worry me. Like the excessive tiredness….How much do you rest even?"
"Half the day…or more, I'd say…..I do try to get up and do things, I hate being in bed all day."
"And when you wake how do you feel?"
"Well….still tired and nauseous. But it isn't that bad…really!"
"You told me you've been having some very irregular bleeding….."
"Yes, that's one of the reasons I came to see you….I was getting a little worried about it…but then I remembered it is normal."
"Worried…..or were you…scared?" Dr. Clark asked her. "And yes…. in pregnancy,….it is normal…occasionally, that is."
"A little of both actually….." Frances answered quietly. "And I've been so nauseous, I haven't been able to eat….so I've lost weight….I need to gain, instead!"
"I do agree with that….but I really don't believe you to be pregnant…..it's something else."
"Well, if I'm not pregnant, then what?" She questioned him. So stressed she almost started tearing up.
"Mrs. Lay…." Dr. Clark began to say and paused, knowing this was hard to tell her. "I believe you have…..Ovarian cancer. I'm very sure of it….and it would explain the "pregnancy" symptoms…..the symptoms of ovarian cancer are very similar…..to some extent."
"But…" Frances stammered and tears fell from her eyes and she was quite unable to speak. "I…I don't understand….I swore I was so sure about this!"
"I think I know how to explain that…I think, your want of another child caused a lot of your symptoms…..The mind is a very strange thing. You think on something long enough…and you begin to believe it. Believe it so much, you think those things into happening….."
Frances looked at him in disbelief and felt tears well up in her eyes again. "I…I don't know what to say….." She was at a loss for words…..
"I will be making up a list of hospitals…..in Iowa…..A lot of them, they have the best doctors….." He tried to smile, but then sighed a little. "I'm so very sorry, Frances…..I'm here, whenever you need me. Extra doctor visits….. If you're in need of encouragement. If you need anything, you'll know where to find me."
"Thank you, Dr. Clark." She somehow managed to whisper, paid him the money for her visit, and began her walk home. She made it home and slipped into her rocking chair and rocked there awhile, her brown eyes closed. Tears escaped them and trickled down her cheeks until they became even more frequent till she hid her face with her hands and started crying, later she got up and went into the bedroom and locked the door, laid down on their bed and sobbed. She got up after resting a while and went to the kitchen to try and start supper, but she found her husband at the stove cooking instead!
She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, stroking his middle-section and his chest. Frances laid her head against his shoulder blade and stayed like that a few seconds.
"Hey…." Fred grinned a little and moved his arm and brought her to him and place his hand on her waist. "How ya feelin'? I didn't mind making supper for us tonight. I don't know how good it'll be , I haven't cooked since I was a bachelor!" He chuckled and gazed down at her. "Still feeling poorly, are ya….I'm sorry, honey." Fred leaned down and kissed her cheek and moved upwards to her forehead and placed a soft kiss on her temple. "I'm sure you'll feel much better in the next few months…." He dished up their supper and set it aside on the table.
"Everything alright?...How did your doctor's appointment go this morning?" Fred asked.
Frances looked up at her husband and felt the tears well up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry!" She whispered and then at once, the tears began to flow again. "I'm sorry…..I knew how much you wanted another baby….and I did too…..but I'm….not pregnant after all." Frances laid her face in her husband's chest and cried, and felt his arms around her. "I'm so sorry…I got both of our hopes up."
"It's alright…." Fred whispered. "It's okay, honey…I think 90% of it was my fault. I should have left it alone…when you said no the first time, I should have respected that."
"I changed my mind later on….I wanted another baby just as you did." She closed her eyes and still felt the tears fall. "…but it doesn't matter now…I'm not pregnant. My Lord, I wish I was!" Frances cried and buried her face in his chest again. "Dr. Clark says I have ovarian cancer!" She managed to choke out.
"Its cancer!...That's why you've been so sick?" Fred looked at her, and felt tears in his eyes. "Honey…" He cried, and felt the tears slip down his cheeks.
Frances looked up at him and manage to nod. The tears in her eyes preventing her from seeing his face. "I don't want to tell the children just yet. I don't want them to worry about me."
"I am…." Fred said. "Just as worried as you are." He pressed his face against hers and cried more. The most he cried in ages, it felt like. "You know I love you…..I'm nothing without you!"
"And you know I can say the same for you!" Frances cried. "We're a team….A partnership!" Her crying had affected her breathing again and she let out a hard, rough breath and began crying again. "I don't know how sick I am!...Dr. Clark is going to give us a list of hospitals to go to…..I'm scared, Fred….I don't know how bad this is….If I'm dying…."
"I don't want to hear you talk like that!" Fred cried and held her closer against his body. "Not this early yet…..But believe me, I'm scared just as much as you are…..but you don't need to talk like that."
A/N: In the beginning of this chapter, I used reference to the song, "I'm Your Little Boy." By Heintje Simons.
My great grandma Helen did play the guitar and also the violin I believe. The song I used was "Only Memories Are Our Friends." By Heintje…..Can you tell I like his songs? Lol. :)
Frances did have cancer in her forties and possibly later in life. IDK what type of cancer either….and in the story I was a couple years off, but oh well. Lol.
