London, England
December 2017
The magic of the moment
Accompanying my walk down the aisle is the choir, singing a medley of Canadian hymns – Maple Leaf Forever, Will your Anchor Hold, Maple Leaf Rag and, of course, Oh Canada. With my hand placed on Dad's arm, I walk the final metres, keeping my gaze locked on Ken.
When my eyes meet Ken's, everything else fades into the background. There are thousands of people in the cathedral and hundreds of thousands more outside, but for this moment, we might as well be the only ones. He's here and I'm here and when we leave the cathedral, there'll truly be an us.
"You're beautiful," he mouths.
I smile. Today, of all days, I want to look beautiful and I want to look beautiful for him.
Having reached the altar under the dome, Dad takes my hand and carefully places it in Ken's, before briefly stroking my face.
"Your Mum and I are so proud of you," Dad tells me quietly, "and you'll make the world proud of you, too."
"I wouldn't be who I am without the two of you," I reply, feeling myself choke up. "I'm so incredibly lucky to have such amazing parents."
"And we're grateful to have you for our daughter," Dad assures, before leaning forward and placing a kiss on my forehead. I briefly grab his hand and squeeze it tightly.
As Dad walks to his seat, I look at Mum. Tears are pricking at my eyes and she looks very emotional as well, but she smiles one of her familiar, loving, comforting Mum smiles and it immediately puts me at ease. Impulsively, I blow her a kiss, causing some of the guests to coo and others to chuckle.
It pulls me back to reality and when I turn back to the altar, I find Ken watching me patiently.
"Sorry," I whisper, feeling slightly embarrassed.
He just shakes his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "What's there to apologise for?"
I shrug slightly, annoyed with myself at having strayed from the choreography, but he just raises our clasped hands and kiss the back of mine. This time, the cooing behind us definitely drowns out the chuckles.
The choir sings the last note of the medley that accompanied me down the aisle and the music changes to the first hymn, All Things Bright and Beautiful. There's some rustling as the guests behind us take up their orders of service. Helpfully, Mark hands Ken and me our copies, opened at the correct page.
I'm almost too fluttery to sing and don't really trust my voice either, so I'm grateful that the microphones are still switched off. Every few seconds or so, Ken strokes my hand with his thumb or sneaks me a smile and to be honest, he's much easier to concentrate on than the lyrics.
With the singing coming to a close, the Dean of St Paul's steps up to stand in front of us for the official welcome.
"Dearly beloved," he begins. "We're gathered here today…"
And I know I should be listening to him and that he's surely saying important words, but there are so very many of them and my heart is beating in my throat and my hands are shaking and I just can't focus. In fact, it feels like nerves might suddenly get the better of me when –
When Ken lightly squeezes my hand, causing me to look up at him.
"Okay?" he asks silently.
I nod, procuring a smile that I hope looks confident.
"You're perfect," he mouths. "I love you."
"I love you," I whisper back, so quiet even I can't hear it.
He seems to understand though, because a brilliant smile appears on his face. It's one of the smiles I fell in love with and I drink in the sight of it. His smile never fails to calm me and it does the trick now, too. Just looking at him, I feel my heart settle down and my hands stop shaking.
We're alright.
Vaguely, I'm aware of the Dean still talking, but his words don't register. I just look at Ken and he's looking back at me and that's all that matters. The rest of the world fades into the background, becoming unfocused and distant.
Until –
"Ahem."
I whip my head around.
The Dean has stopped talking and instead looks at us with an amused expression on his face.
"Sorry," I blurt out, unthinking.
There's a beat of utter silence and as my mind catches up with my mouth, I feel my face heat up in mortification.
How utterly, totally, completely humilitating!
Pleadingly, I look at Ken for help, but he doesn't look embarrassed for me at all. Instead, I see him lips twitching treacherously and before I know it, he's laughing. The dean joins in and, like a wave rippling through them, so do the guests behind us. I can even hear the people outside cheering extra loudly.
My face is still uncomfortably hot and I know it probably rivals my hair for redness, but I recognise the laughter around me as affectionate, rather than mocking and that knowledge calms me slightly. I even manage a laugh of my own, though it remains a little shaky.
Briefly, Ken draws me close for a hug and I lean against him for a moment.
"All good," he whispers, his lips close to my ear.
"I hope so," I murmur back.
When we part again, he addresses the Dean. "Apologies, Father. I'm afraid that today, it's especially difficult for me not to look at my beautiful bride all the time. I'll listen now though, so please continue."
The Dean chuckles. "I was just about to ask whether anyone objects to the wedding."
"We can skip that one," Ken offers generously, causing another round of laughter. This time, I have no trouble joining in.
"I don't think we need to," the Dean assures, before switching to a more formal tone of voice and continuing, "Therefore if any man can shew any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."
There a moment of silence in the church, as if people actually expect someone to jump up (what's betting half of them saw that Hallmark movie last night and think Tristan actually did try to murder Ken?), but thankfully, no-one does. I must say, if someone had, I might have personally threatened them with Ken's fancy ceremonial sword!
Since no objection is raised, the Dean steps back and the guests behind us get to their feet for the second hymn, The King of Love My Shepherd Is. It's one of my favourites and I actually feel up for singing this one. Ken still tries to get my attention, but this time, I keep my eyes firmly on the lyrics, even though I know them by heart.
With the hymn over, the Archbishop of Canterbury comes to stand before us and I feel myself get fluttery again.
It's happening!
First, he asks, in many fancy words, whether Ken or I know any reason why we shouldn't be married, to which Ken forcefully shakes his head. Smiling, I follow suit. We took the long road to get here, but it means we can be sure now that there's nothing to keep us apart, not in the way the church means and not in any other.
Turning to Ken, the Archbishop asks, "Kenneth Frank Edward Alexander, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health? And, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"
"I will," Ken answers, surely and steadily.
My heart jumps happily.
The Archbishop then directs the same question at me – and no, no-one's promising to obey anyone! (Grandma Bertha would have had my head if I'd dared!)
"I will," I reply, my voice shaking only the slightest bit.
Looking up at Ken, I see him smiling brightly, his eyes shining with love.
Raising our clasped hands for everyone to see, Ken repeats after the Archbishop, "I, Kenneth Frank Edward Alexander, take thee, Bertha Marilla, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and thereto I give thee my troth."
I, too, repeat the words the Archbishop recites, even though I know them by heart, and as I do, the happiness on Ken's face makes my heart jump some more.
Behind Ken, Teddy steps up and carefully hands the two gold rings to the Archbishop, who proceeds to bless them, before offering the smaller one to Ken.
Taking my left hand – which feels strangely bereft today, with my engagement ring temporarily on my right hand – he slides the ring on my ring finger with the words, "With this ring I thee wed; with my body I thee honour; and all my worldly goods with thee I share: in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
My ring securely on my finger, I slide the other one over the ring finger of Ken's left hand, repeating the same words he just said. For a brief moment, I panic as the ring refuses to slip over his knuckle, but Ken flexes his fingers slightly and the ring slides into place.
I look up at him, smiling a happy and relieved smile that he mirrors immediately.
"Let us pray," the Archbishop invites us.
We both kneel, our heads bowed, as the Archbishops proceeds to say a prayer for us. About halfway through, he wraps a piece of cloth around our intertwined hands with the words, "those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder", before finally saying what I've been waiting for, "I pronounce that they be man and wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost."
Slowly, I breathe in and out.
It's done.
We're married.
We're married!
I look up at Ken and find him grinning widely. "We're married," he mouths.
I just beam foolishly at him.
We did it! We're really married!
Squee!
Quietly clearing his throat, the Archbishop of Canterbury redraws our attention and discreetly gestures us towards two chairs by the side of the altar. Teddy and Mark are walking to their own seats and I start moving as well, but Ken remains rooted on the spot. I look at him questioningly.
"Don't I get a kiss?" he asks quietly, pure mirth in his eyes.
I frown. "I don't think that's part of the protocol," I mutter.
He shrugs. "So?" And then, without waiting for a response, he leans down and kisses me, sweetly and gently. Despite my earlier protests, I feel myself melting into the kiss. This time, the cheers can be heard outside and inside the cathedral.
Having gotten his kiss, Ken leads me over to the chair, swinging out intertwined hands between us, while the choir breaks out into Love Bade Me Rise, a so-called motet (whatever that is). Lucy and Persis help me with the train of my cloak, carefully draping it around my chair.
Looking briefly at the guests, I see a sea of smiling face. Even Aunt Mary nods at me briefly when our eyes meet. Really, the only person who looks disapproving is Aunt Mary Maria and as Joy always says, if Aunt Mary Maria disapproves of your behaviour, you must have done something right.
With the vows behind us, I feel a weight lift off me. I didn't all go to plan, but it felt like us and it was successful. We're married now. Whatever happens, nothing and no-one will take it away from us.
"Hello, wife," Ken murmurs. His smile seems to be permanently etched on his face.
"Hello, husband," I reply, feeling a little silly and not caring at all.
The choir's singing winds to a close and I sit up straighter. I know what next part is and for this one, no-one will distract me, not even Ken. To his credit, he's not even trying. Instead, we both sit quietly and look at the lecture stand that Jake steps up to read e.e. cummings' somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond.
I wasn't sure whether it would be fair to ask Jake to play a role in my wedding, not with so many people watching, but it didn't feel right not to ask him either. In the end, I picked up the phone and just told him that I'd love for him to have a part because of how important he is to me, but that I also didn't want him to feel pressured. It was his idea to do the reading and he even helped Ken and me pick out the poem that all three of us liked. (No boring Corinthians for us!)
Joy told me that Jake practiced the reading diligently, to the point of knowing the words by heart, and it pays off. He looks a little nervous today, but doesn't slip up even once. His voice is steady and he looks awfully grown up, standing there in his morning suit and addressing several thousand people. He's very concentrated, too, and only looks at me when he's done, his expression questioning. I smile my most encouraging smile and raise my hands to silently applaud him. Beside me, Ken gives a thumbs-up and Jake smiles in relief.
After that, there's more singing, both by the congregation and the choir, interrupted only by the sermon and the prayers. Leading the prayers are Una and Anglican George, to represent my Presbyterian and Ken's Anglican faith and also to acknowledge that without the two of them and their gentle guidance, I'd have stumbled cluelessly through this entire service. The sermon, meanwhile, is given by the Bishop of London, both because this is her diocese and because it pleases me to have a woman as part of the high clergy. (And that's without the misogynistic Anglican tradition of needing a male 'flying bishop' to oversee her every word, which Anglican George told me about and which made me picture a bishop flying around on his curved stick, his fancy robes trailing behind him. Anglican George assured me it didn't quite work like that.)
The congregation sings Jerusalem while Ken and I move back to kneel in front of the altar for the Dean's blessing. Afterwards, everyone breaks out into God save the King (except for Owen, of course, who can't well sing "God save me"), before, to the sound of a loud fanfare, Ken offers me his hand and we both follow the Archbishop and the Dean towards the dean's aisle, a private area behind a curtain.
Once more, Lucy and Persis wrangle my train and falling in line behind them are Ken's parents, my parents, Teddy and Mark as Ken's supporters and all six of my siblings. They're with us to witness the signing of the marriage certificate, which normally only needs two people, but I guess the royals always do it a bit grander.
The moment the curtain falls shut behind us, Ken immediately wraps both arms around me, lifting me slightly off my feet. Laughing, I throw my arms around his neck and hold on tight.
"You'll wrinkle your dress," Nan protests helplessly. I turn my head to grin at her, telling her wordlessly that I don't really care at all.
From Ken's arms, I'm transferred to those of Mum, who's smiling and sniffling at the same time and briefly frames my face in both hands. I have a feeling she wants to say something, but then she just shakes her head and gently kisses my cheek instead. For once, even she doesn't need words.
There are more hugs and congratulations and though I managed to keep from crying until now, this does make me feel a little teary. They're good tears though, happy tears, because I'm married to the man I love and I have two families I love as well and how did I ever get so lucky?
"You'll smudge your make-up," Joy chides gently as she leans forward and starts dabbing at my face with a handkerchief she probably stole from Dan.
"It's super water-proof," Di informs her. "Rhea thought she'd need it."
"She should have given me some of it, too," Leslie chimes in, laughing. "I don't think my make-up held up too well."
Persis wraps an arm around her. "You look fine, Mum."
"Beautiful as always," Owen backs her up.
"Very many beautiful women here today," agrees Dad, smiling widely and grabbing Mum's hand.
"And if some of those beautiful women and not-so-beautiful men wouldn't mind signing the wedding register now, we could go back," Shirley points out sensibly.
Teddy nods. "Yes, I'm not sure how long the guests can be entertained by listening to the choir sing."
"They're very good though," Walter interjects. "The singing is beautiful."
(It is. Currently, they're singing Panis Angelicus, which I think means 'holy bread' – or something.)
"We should still get a move on," Lucy decides after a quick look at her watch. "We don't want to fall behind schedule just yet."
"In that case…" Mark holds out a fancy fountain pen to Ken, who takes it eagerly and bends over the wedding certificate. He scribbles his name, before turning and offering the pen to me.
"Ready to sign on the dotted line, little sister?" quips Jem.
I roll my eyes at him, before accepting the pen from Ken and, with my hand shaking just the slightest bit, sign my name below his.
Ken wraps an arm around my waist and draws me close. "Now we're well and truly married," he murmurs into my ear, nuzzling his nose against my temple.
"For better or for worse, you mean?" I tease, smiling up at him.
"For better," he retorts, not missing a beat. "Always for better."
We watch as, one by one, our family members plus Mark and Lucy sign their names below ours, thus certifying that they did, indeed, see us get married. In doing so, they provide the final puzzle piece to legally make Ken and me husband and wife.
Husband and wife! Us!
The very thought is intoxicating!
We move back towards the main part of the cathedral and, from there, back up the aisle with the bridal party and our families behind us. The choir and congregation sing Guide Me Oh Though Great Redeemer and I feel giddy with happiness. Judging from the wide smile on Ken's face, he feels exactly the same.
We leave the cathedral to the organ playing a solo (Prince of Denmark, which is somehow about Hamlet) and are received by loud cheers from the crowd outside. The assembled policemen and soldiers, among them a prominently-placed group of Mounties, salute snappily. When we wave, the cheers and cries get even louder, reaching a crescendo when Ken briefly kisses the back of my hand. We don't know these people, nor do they know us, but their excitement at our happiness is truly touching.
After waving for a few moments, Ken and I walk down the stairs to our carriage. My pumpkin coach is gone, replaced by an open-top landau that will make us more visible to the people lining the route. Ken carefully helps me into it, with Lucy and Persis expertly folding up my train. Sitting down next to me, Ken produces a white woollen blanket and spreads it over both our knees.
"Are you cold?" he asks.
I shake my head. "I should be, but… no. Today, I'm warmed from the inside."
And it really does feel that way. It's winter and I should be freezing in the open carriage, but I don't really feel the cold at all. Even when it lightly starts snowing as we ride along Strand, I don't feel it. In fact, I barely notice it until Ken reaches over and plugs a snowflake from my hair
"Snow princess," he declares with a cheesy grin.
I roll my eyes at him, but can't help smiling.
It continues snowing lightly for the rest of the way and when we reach Buckingham Palace, Ken's cap is dusted in snow and so is my bare head. (Well, bare except for a priceless tiara…) The snow does nothing to dampen our mood though, nor that of the people who came out to celebrate with us. Instead, they cheer us along enthusiastically the entire way.
Accompanying us are several uniformed riders, some of them British cavalry, others Canadian Mounties. Following them are more carriages carrying the bridal party and our families and behind them are cars and coaches with our more important guests. When the coaches have passed, the policemen lining the road take away the barriers and allow the people to march along The Mall towards the palace.
By then, Ken and I are already upstairs in the Centre Room of the palace, waiting to walk out on to the balcony. Our families are with us, chatting and joking. Izzie and Preti have taken up position by one of the windows, peering around the curtains and keeping up a running commentary about what's happening outside.
"There are many people," Izzie informs me seriously.
"More than many," corrects Preti.
"Many more than many," Izzie trumps her.
Preti nods, accepting the assessment. "They're moving towards us," she reports.
"They're very excited," Izzie observes.
There's a moment of silence.
"They're at the fountain now," Preti tells us.
"Now the first ones are by the gate," Izzie adds importantly.
Ken comes up behind me. "I guess that's our clue. Ready to face the people?"
When I nod, he takes my hand and gestures for two footmen to open the doors to the balcony. I took off my cloak earlier, leaving me with only my dress to manage, but as we walk, I still look down to make sure I don't step on it. When I look up again –
"Wow!"
"Quite the sight, isn't it?" asks Ken, grinning.
Indeed it is. There are people stretching all along The Mall, right up to Admiralty Arch. There must be thousands of them, their voices raised in what seems like one single cheer. It's humbling, it's mind-blowing and yes, it's also a little overwhelming.
"Do we do something?" I ask Ken, feeling a little bowled over.
"Just wave," he replies, doing just that himself.
Following his lead, I also start waving and for a few moments, we both just smile and wave at the people below us. After a while, I notice our families filing on to the balcony around us and though I keep my smiling face turned to the spectators, I try to catch a glimpse of mine from the corner of my eye.
Suffice to say, my family looks as overwhelmed as I feel. I can tell they're trying to look suave as they offer waves and smiles to the people below, but to them, this must be even more surreal than it feels to me.
Only Izzie, alas, is unimpressed. "Those are a gazillion people," she informs us matter-of-factly, sounding very pleased with her assessment and not at all cowed by the scene below.
Smiling, I reach out to ruffle her hair, but she swats my hand away and glares. Preti, already her partner-in-crime, gives me a disdainful look of her own. "Not the hair, Rilla!"
I raise both hands in defence to show that I'm sorry. Below us, the cheering is suddenly infused with laughter as the people realise what is happening. When I smile widely and wave at them some more, they cheer and clap even louder.
"This is madness!" declares Joy somewhere to my left, her voice raised to carry over the cheers from below.
"Totally crazy," agrees Di, her tone wavering somewhere between awe and scepticism.
"And you never really get used to it," Teddy tells them conversationally.
"You have to wonder why all these people even care," observes Shirley drily behind me.
"It's a real life fairy tale," Mum replies, looking a bit misty-eyed. "Everyone loves that."
"No pressure, right?" That's Owen, leaning over to Ken and me and winking at us.
Ken turns his eyes heavenwards, but I grin back at Owen. I just mean to retort something when I notice a change in the pattern of the cheering. All of a sudden, it sounds more like chanting as they're calling for us to –
"Kiss," that's Ken. "They want us to kiss. Are you up to it?"
I turn my face towards him and smile. "I don't think you've ever asked me that before."
"First time for everything," he replies, laughing.
Then he leans down and kisses me and as he does, I can hear the people below cheer and our family around us laugh approvingly. It is, in short, one of those rare perfect moments in life that only come very seldomly and I make sure to bottle it up within me, so that whatever happens, I will never forget how I feel, right here, right now, in this very moment.
The title of this chapter is taken from the song 'Wind of Change' (written by Klaus Meine, released by the Scorpions in 1991).
A/N: Special thanks goes to Alinyaalethia, without whose musical expertise they would simply have sung hymns 1, 2 and 3, and without whose literary expertise, Jake would simply have recited a nameless poem. (Not Corinthians though, because that's so overused!)
To DogMonday:
Amethysts are purple, no argument there. There are several different hues of purple though and some of them lean more into red, while others lean more into blue. I made this amethyst be a blueish-purple, which is why they're counting it as her Something Blue. Is it a stretch? Probably. Does it matter? Not really. Rilla could certainly also have a blue ribbon sewn in some hidden place, but what would that have accomplished, really? It's not like they're releasing a list of her Something Old, etc. to the public, so no-one but her and those around her will know that she counted the amethyst as her Something Blue. What matters is, I think, that it counts for her. She was touched that the brooch was offered to her by Marilla and she very dearly wanted to wear it. That, to me, is what's important, not whether it's a good Something Blue or not.
Jims did, indeed, already feature in Correspondence from Hanson. I told DW.618 in advance that he's Hanson's son so that she could include him in the messages written around the time of his birth. I actually thought for a while how to best include Jims in this story, even in just a small role. Making him one of the children at the youth centre would have been an option, but some of them don't have easy home lives and I felt that Jims was do a happy, loving primary family that has no need to ever give him away. Hanson and Summer are great parents, plus giving them Jims for a son allowed me to use him to acknowledge the friendship Rilla and Hanson have built over the years. Yes, this is Jims playing an important part in her wedding, but it's also Rilla honouring the first person inside the royal orbit who was kind to her (except for Ken, of course) by giving his son such a prominent role. Two birds with a stone for me! ;)
Considering the hoopla made around the traditions of royal weddings, Rilla and Ken are having a line to walk with regards of which to follow and which to do away with. Follow too many traditions and it starts looking stale and unequal. Follow too few and it probably becomes rather too avant-garde for many of the people watching. (And let's be honest, a royal wedding is always a spectacle for the public.) That's why I decided to take some elements out (no veil, no promises to obey, no officially handing over the bride) and left other in (the traditional wedding vows, the carriage procession, the flypast), in the hope of striking a good balance between modern and traditional.
I'm glad you enjoyed the scene with Rilla and Gilbert, despite it falling in the 'traditional' category ;). I suppose I could have had someone else accompany Rilla or have her go with Ken outright, but there's something nice about having a father be with his daughter as she takes this step in her life. It's not about property anymore, it's only about support, and that's what I tried to go with here. Plus, as you said, it gave Gilbert an chance to be more visible after the male members of the family took more of a backseat recently. They're all in this chapter though and Jem even gets a star turn next week! Watch out!
