Chapter 20: Destroyer of worlds...
"Mr Takako."
"Masami."
"I'm...surprised that you're rather calm about this."
Mochizuki Takako looked off into the distance as he slowly let the smoke escape his lungs.
"To be honest Miss Masami...I'm actually quite terrified," he chuckled.
"That so?"
Arai Masami, the tall and elegant nuclear scientist, just got off the phone with the higher ups and sported a grim look on her face. It was clear to her that the JSDF as well as their controlled territories would fall someday. Supplies were dwindling, people were dying and slowly but surely, all hope was fading away. What chance would they stand if not even the United States could win?
The nuclear path was inevitable, and she would be the one to turn the keys.
"Yeah." He leaned back on his chair, savouring the taste of his expensive cigar. He had saved it for a special occasion, and it surprised the young female scientist when he offered it to her. She graciously accepted, of course. "Not for me, per say. More like for humanity as a whole."
Arai Masami loosened her tie and also leaned back in her seat, trying to at least pretend to be as calm as her senpai.
"So I made my peace. Had a real hearty talk with the wife this morning."
"About...?"
"Well...she hurled some insults my way and I just let her have it."
"I hate to pry but..."
"It's fine."
"...are you happy? T-That it'd be over today?"
He replied without a second thought. "Yeah. Course. I think we've had a real helluva time here. Looks like we can finally go now."
She mournfully stared at the control panel, and without even knowing it, she began to weep. She was one of many in the underground silo, who were sobbing and saying goodbye. Their pride and masks of competence slowly peeled away from them piece by piece, like they were snakes shedding their skins. There was no longer the professional, smart and somewhat arrogant persona which they adopted over the years. What was left was just...people.
There was a part of her that felt truly free. Japan would be nuked to high hell and they wouldn't be held responsible. They could start over. In a sense, nothing would matter anymore, whilst also being one of the most meaningful moments of her life. She didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't anymore. She could tell everyone what she thought of them without consequence. She could be herself.
As she sobbed, she came to the realization that she was living a lie.
Takako poured her a glass of whiskey. "Have you made your peace?"
"...no. No. I haven't. All my life I...you know what, forget it," she snarled, downing the glass. She wiped away her tears on her lab coat sleeve and sighed.
"Go ooooon," he drawled. "Repent for your sins. Or lack thereof."
"I never got to do the stuff I wanted...all the friends I never made. All the parties I never went to. All the science and math shit in my brain. And for what? To be a-a-a fucking girl in a lab coat? Bullshit!"
The bearded man simply smiled at the young scientist venting out her regrets. She reminded him of himself when he was younger, when he still had hopes and dreams of a brighter future. It was one of the reasons why he liked working around her.
"Fuck the money! Fuck this job! Fuck everything! Fuck you mom! You never fucking listen to anything I have to say!"
"Yes, yes! Express your anger! Let it alllll out!," Takako laughed, taking another swig from the bottle of whiskey.
"I...never got to choose. C-Could I? Why didn't I?"
Takako thought himself a mock-psychiatrist. "What would you have chosen?," he asked with genuine curiosity. After all, he never knew that she didn't want to end up here.
"A family," she replied without a moment's hesitation. "I want a family. I want someone to love me. I want someone to greet me at the door when I come home."
Two scientists ran past them, one holding a brown briefcase.
"It's too damn lonely. It fucking hurts. God I sound so pathetic but...I installed a heater in my body pillow, just so I can have something warm to wake up to."
"Hm. I know what that feels like," Takako replied. "Shame it had to end like this."
Takako began to see his co-worker in a new light. When they first met, he was under the impression that she was a stern, hard-working and a very serious woman who had sacrificed more than anyone to acquire her position. Never cracking jokes, never smiling, never enjoying the little things in life.
But now he felt glad that he could see her as a normal woman now. One who still had hopes and dreams, and it's accompanying emotions.
"Is that why you're so calm?," she asked. "Because you chose? To be here?"
"I guess so. Although, with hindsight, no matter what choices I made, it would still lead to the situation we find ourselves in now. Maybe it was...the illusion of choice."
Masami tilted her head in confusion.
"I never let anyone tell me what to do. I chose for myself, but look where that got us."
He shook off his thoughts and continued smoking his cigar. Masami took the bottle from her senior's hand.
"It's so weird to hear you swear," he remarked. "The usually professional, mature and cold Arai Masami..."
"You know it's just a façade. Appearances and what not. Come on, lighten up a little. I feel out of place being the only one."
"This is how I usually am?"
She cringed a little, ignoring the warnings on her monitor and the alarms blaring in the background. "Reeaaally? Man, you have no personality whatsoever."
"Yeah well...," he said, looking up at the ceiling. "Losing a kid will do that to you."
"What's the first thing you'll say to him? You know, if you don't make it?," she asked.
"I think my wife would be all over him. But uh...I would say..."
Masami kicked her feet up on the metal control panel as she undid her professional bun, letting her jet black hair flow over the chair.
"I'm sorry. For...everything? Fuck, I don't know."
"That's a good one."
"Yeah. Yeah. What about you? To your parents?"
"I think I would spit in their face. If God would let me."
They turned their heads upon hearing a crackling voice on the radio, reading out a combination code.
"WHISKEY. ECHO. 7. 1. QUEBEC. ALPHA."
Several scientists watched over the shoulders of the two writing down what they heard.
"Mochizuki," she called as the launch was prepared.
"Calling your senior by his first name?," he laughed. "Looks like it really is the end of the world-"
"I'm a virgin," she whispered.
"So you are."
"Wanna do it?"
"Do what?"
"Let's have sex. You and me. Right now. Might as well go off with a 'bang', right?"
She chuckled half-heartedly while her senpai looked her disapprovingly.
"Noted attempt at humour. I'd be lying if I hadn't thought about you like that once or twice," he stated nonchalantly. Masami unbuttoned her shirt and slowly leaned closer to her senior.
"Don't you wanna de-flower me?"
"No. Thanks though."
Despite his stern disapproval, she continued to reveal more of her cleavage, a lewd grin appearing on her face.
"Hmmm? Are you...sure?," she purred, her breasts now bare for all to see.
"Mhm. I'm sure," he replied calmly, closing his eyes and smoking the rest of his cigar. She scoffed and quickly covered herself back up.
"Well. You passed the test. I suppose..," she announced with a hint of disappointment.
"Course I did."
"Looks like you are...were a man of honour after all."
"Course."
"But...I would've thought...considering she hates you and all..."
They took the locks off a red safe and held a card up in the air. "Valid message! Order to launch sir!"
"I don't blame her Arai. It wasn't her fault."
He held the launch key close to his eyeball and took one last look.
"But I still love her. Always."
"Takako!," another worker yelled. He turned around and locked eyes with him. "Confirmed! Order is a go!"
"Arai," he muttered, pulling her in for a final hug. "You don't have to do this."
She sniffled into his shoulder. "Don't worry. I have nothing left to lose."
They both inserted their own keys into two separate slots, far apart so that one person couldn't turn them alone.
"3. 2. 1. Turn keys."
They held the keys until they saw the green light on the panel.
"You think we'll get out of this alive?," Masami asked as the silo began to rumble.
Dust began to fall from the ceiling of the launch station and the scientists could hear the silo doors sliding open.
"I think so."
"Batteries active!"
"But you know...if we do...," Masami said, closing the distance between them. "You think we'll be able to start over? Make a new life for ourselves?"
He chuckled to himself. "Wouldn't that be magnificent. To forget and start again."
"I would have someone to wake up next to every day and...you would be the father of a child. Maybe two. Or five. I wouldn't mind."
"Missile transferred to internal power!"
"You sure you want someone like me?," he whispered. "I'm far too old. You should start with someone closer to your age. Besides, I have a lot of memories I can't let go of."
"Isn't it morbid...bringing a child into a world we ruined..."
"Guidance go!"
Masami clung even tighter to her co-worker as the main engine awoke from its slumber, violently shaking the bunker. Warning beeps, sounding as uncomfortable as nails on a chalkboard, blared over the speakers while red was flashing on the control panel.
And finally, the last cell lit up orange, and it read: 'LIFT OFF'.
The rumbling gradually stopped after a minute as the weapon of mass destruction left the silo, on its way to its destination. Everyone was silent, their eyes still locked on the monitor screens where the nuke had left. There was no cheers, no tears, no nothing.
"Maybe...the child would be better off with Ares. The nuke would probably be intercepted somehow."
"Probably. But don't think for a second anyone would be better off with those parasites."
Masami pushed Takako away. "Like we're any better? Like we don't commit atrocities?!"
"Arai," he muttered nonchalantly. "I'm really tired. Just...let me smoke. In peace."
"No no, listen to me! LISTEN TO ME!," she screamed, shaking Takako by the collar. He dropped his cigar, taken aback at the sheer volume the woman could produce.
She took a couple deep breaths to calm herself. "What are we going to do now? I'm tired of not choosing. Of not thinking for myself."
"Now?," he asked. "You mean in the next minute or the next hour?"
"I mean if we survive this. No, we're in a bunker. We'll survive this. But when we leave."
"Ah. I see."
He calmly took Masami's hands off of his collar and sat back down, kicking his feet up.
"Well. I'm going to finish this glass."
"I'm serious."
"Serious? You weren't serious before the nuke? Why now?"
Although it was meant to be a joke, the question penetrated deep into Masami's soul. She felt even more ashamed of herself, refusing to admit that the words she needed to wake her up were from someone who was half-drunk.
"What. Now."
"I suppose we have to wait until Japan gets nuked, of course."
"And then?"
"And then...uh...we'll wait a week. For the radiation levels to drop."
"Food? Water?"
"Why are you so keen on this? I thought you of all people would have been glad to let life go."
"I...it's...not too late."
"Too late for what?"
"My dreams you fucker!," she yelled.
Takako sighed and downed his glass. He looked around and the scientists that were watching them quickly looked away, and shuffled out of the control room.
"Jesus...it only took nuclear annihilation..."
Her bottom lip quivered. "Don't...don't you want this...? W-With me? W-We can start our own little family..."
She sniffled and tears began splashing on the concrete.
"A-And w-we can take our children to school. W-We'll have fun at the playground..."
"Hate to break it to you but...there seems to be a totalitarian ICBM heading towards Japan as we speak. There won't be any playgrou-"
"Then I'll fucking make one!," she growled. Takako could see switches being turned on in her psyche. "I'll do something! Of my own accord! What, you don't think I can?!"
"Woah woah woah, I never said that," he defended. "Do what you want Dr Masami-"
"Don't call me that."
"-but don't rope me into whatever 'plan' you have up there."
She felt her hands ball up into fists by her side. Never had she ever looked at another human being with such hatred. It could have just been the fact that she hadn't known anyone long enough to develop any feelings towards them.
But it was instinctive. She couldn't stop herself from violently slapping her friend right across his cheek. He dropped the glass he was holding and it shattered on the floor.
"Fuck you. I hope you burn in hell."
She stormed out of the room, ignoring the thermonuclear warheads detonating on the surface, both shaking the bunker as well as her spirit awake.
Gabriel, in a haze of panic, instinctively began spamming her handgun towards the general direction of the enemy as she dragged off a wounded soldier behind cover. She fell to the ground after hearing a bullet zip past her face, narrowly missing her cheek.
The sounds of the fighting awakened something inside of her. Something animalistic, like a deer running away from fire. Even though she was wearing hearing protection, it did little to deafen the noise of nearby explosions and the screams of the injured. Another two fell to the ground, and blood splattered on the sand they were standing on, as well as the cover they were behind.
She was truly scared for her life this time. She couldn't quite comprehend how her enemy could be that accurate with their shots, especially from the other end of the beach. It seemed as if every other JSDF soldier knew that too, considering they were blind firing behind cover, fearing for their lives. If they looked up, it could be their last.
Gabriel tied off the bandage around the wounded soldier's torso and stabbed a needle into him, before leaning him against the brick wall they were behind. She clutched tightly at her birthday rifle, feeling more and more powerless by the second. Another explosion sent bits of sand, blood and body parts falling from the sky, reinforcing the grave ideas in her mind; that she was playing a very small part in this battle.
All she could do was close her eyes and stick as close as she could to the wall, as warfare ensued around her.
Her allies were dying rapidly, and the enemy was moving in, closer and closer. She could hear the roars of machines: tanks, trucks and mechs in the distance, approaching from the frozen shore. Their fighter jets zipped by, destroying artillery positions and preventing any airstrikes, while the ground troops took shots towards the beach with grenade launchers and rifles.
"Gabriel!," Vignette's voice frantically crackled in her ear. There was gunfire on her end too. "Are you okay?! Where are you?!"
"Vi-i-i-g-g-nette...," Gabriel whimpered. Her tone said it all. "I-I...I don't know..."
"There's a nuke! A fuck-ing nuke! 10 minutes!," she screamed.
"What?!," Gabriel yelled back. "Where?!"
"It's on a missile Gabriel, I don't know! Just get to cover and don't look at the light!"
Immediately she thought about everyone else. She thought about the people she was saving. She thought of the civilians, and whether or not she could save them. She thought of Ansel, fearing for his life, hiding under the bed.
She looked around, and battle-hardened JSDF soldiers were retreating away from the beach and scurrying into the streets of the city, where there was better cover. She followed past, feeling bullets punch her in the back but they were luckily absorbed by the body armour.
"Ansel...," she thought as she ran. "Get Ansel...then get Vignette...no! Other way around! Get Vignette, then get Ans-"
"White!"
She sprinted towards three soldiers who were taking cover behind a car. One of them was putting pressure on a downed soldier's neck which was covered in blood.
"Gunshot or shrapnel?," she asked with a cool demeanour, despite the fact she was shaking uncontrollably. She ripped open her medic bag, and let its contents fall to the pavement.
"Gunshot! Went clean through!," he yelled as the third soldier shot at the approaching enemy.
"Vignette! Tunnels on 33rd! Be there!," she radioed as she applied XSTAT to the entry and exit wounds with impressive speed. "I'll get Ansel!"
"Roger that! Warn as many people as you can!"
They dodged bullets and explosions on the streets as civilians also began to funnel into the metro tunnels for safety. Gabriel lost her sense of direction for a moment, overwhelmed by the nuclear attack siren blaring away, the punchy sounds of gunfire and the panicked screams of ordinary people.
"Oh God...Raphie...Hensky...Alvarez..."
She listed off the names of all the people who she had affiliation with, wondering if they would be okay. Wondering if her apartment was close to any areas of the city which Ares would've liked to have destroyed.
"Gabriel!," Vignette yelled in her ear. "I'm here! Where are you? Do you read?"
"I hear you! I'm on my wa-"
A burst of light appeared in the distance, creating darker-than black shadows which juxtaposed against the white flash. She jumped in a pothole in the road, with her eyes tightly shut and her arms covering her head.
The whole world around her shook fiercely, and it took a minute after the flash for the shockwave to knock the air out of her lungs. Buildings collapsed, windows blew out and for a moment, everything was quiet, as soldiers on both sides spared a minute to watch the devastation.
Gabriel's brain shook inside her skull. The shockwave combined with the rubble that fell on top of her, luckily stopping at the ditch preventing Gabriel from being crushed, caused her to remain curled up in a defensive ball for a while.
She eventually regained her senses, and saw the faces of people near and dear to her flashed in her mind.
"Ansel...gotta...make sure...," she thought to herself as she emerged out of the rubble. No normal human being could dig themselves out of a grave made of concrete debris and steel rebar. Her exosuit was fried, as well as all her other electronics, so moving chunks of concrete out of the way felt even more laborious than usual.
If the city wasn't already destroyed before, it sure as hell was now.
Grey and bleak was the first thing she thought of when she emerged from the ground like a zombie. There wasn't one path she could walk down without tripping over some rubble.
Slowly but surely, both civilians and soldiers emerged from the chaos, just as dazed as Gabriel was. She began toppling over rubble and dragging people out of the wreckage, directing them towards the general location of the tunnel, if it still existed. It began raining black sludge, the droplets thicker than honey which burnt Gabriel's skin on contact.
Despite this, she trudged on and continued to help others, following the same desire which drove her to become addicted to healing people in her MMO. Her head perked up in attention when she heard faint wailing in the distance.
"A-Ansel?," she breathed with relief. "ANSEL!"
She heard her name be called out in the distance, and she immediately ran to the source of the noise, like a bird to her young. When she arrived, Ansel was hiding under the bed unharmed, but was crying uncontrollably.
Gabriel felt her worry instantly evaporate as Ansel instinctively got up and embraced his surrogate mother, sobbing into her chest.
"Shh...shh...it's okay...I'm here now...," Gabriel sniffled, getting choked up in her tears.
"G-Gab...I...scared...," he sobbed.
"Ansel..."
Now having been reunited with her child, Gabriel made a beeline for the underground train station. There were people in heavy hazmat suits clearing the entrance of debris, so that the injured could limp to safety, free from any further radiation damage. The angel had doubts on whether or not the rumbling feeling in her gut was from radiation poisoning. She thought it was too quick. And the blast happened far, far away, near the more militarized zones of the city.
She crumbled to the floor, feeling as if her head was about to pop off her neck. She began gagging as trickles of vomit leaked out of her mouth, a slimy, watery solution.
"Gab?! What's happening?!," Ansel exclaimed worriedly.
A man in an orange hazmat suit noticed her and helped her up to her feet, all the while JSDF soldiers were holding the lines against the invading Ares forces. Gabriel's rifle swayed side to side off of her vest, as limp as her legs. She felt like passing out, but somehow, with the aid of other people's kindness, managed to stumble down an endless flight of stairs and into the tunnels.
She remained semi-conscious as she let them take off her equipment and dump it into a box. She didn't even realize that she was red all over when they hastily took off her clothes for decontamination.
"An...sel...," she groaned as he was taken away.
"He'll be fine," a female nurse said. "Let's just focus on fixing you up."
AN: 10/04/2021, sorry for the sub-tier quality on this one. I didn't actually think people would still be reading this, so sorry for the lack of updates (although getting people to read this is not the primary motivation for me writing, it was because it was fun writing). Been realll busy with uni stuff and trying to manage my goddamn mental health and all. The next chapter might come out next week because no assignments then. Til' then, see you! Take care. Bye bye.
Also, please leave a review, gives +100 motivation points and +100 dopamine.
