"I know I've probably kissed you one hundred times today….." Paul whispered, laying in bed again with his wife. "May I have another hundred?" He smiled at her and ran his fingers through her black hair, caressing her soft jawline. Golden hues of sunlight coming in from the large windows, hitting around the room and her naturally tanned skin, just right. His hands moved softly and slowly down her body and he pulled himself closer and felt his forehead against hers. Kissing his wife was soft. He never tired of feeling her velvet smooth lips brush open against his tongue, always welcoming him. Kissing her was hot. In warmth and the burning desire of her….of both of them. Their love wasn't one sided, he knew….. Kissing her was tender and loving….the soft sighs he heard as she responded to him. Smooth, effortless kisses. Soft tiny pecks, asking for more. He gazed at her again. Paul seemed to almost worship her like he thought she deserved. She was a beautiful woman, physically, mentally. Sweet and loving. Bold. Yet, fiery. Strong. Confident. Intelligent. Interesting. She was amazing in every way, not just her looks or sexuality. And yet, intimacy with her was like Heaven. Everything was. Being with her. Working together. Learning more and more about her with every passing year….Even her smile was Heaven. "...a one second kiss?...a 1 minute kiss? 1 hour? 2? 3?" he grinned, hugging her. She laughed. "I don't know what I'd do for air after that much kissing….and I might be worn out by 3 hours!" Gilbertha laughed, and gazed at him with so much love and the tip of her nose pressed against his. She could feel Paul's breath on her eager lips. Then he kissed her again. "I would love kissing you and holding you in my arms all night if it makes you happy…."
"You've always been more romantic than I….." Gilbertha smiled, stroking his jaw and face and the short hair on the back of his head. Bert felt her lips brush with his again and her body pressed closer to him, wrapping a leg around his. She felt him enter her and their bodies seemed to just melt into each other. Vulnerable and deep, yet loving and romantic. They heard their breath and she heard his heart beating….something she thought she would never get tired of. Bert sighed, gazing at him. And closed her pretty eyes as she felt him kiss her forehead, while physically expressing their love.
"Side by side like this reminds me of our first time….I love…feeling your lips with mine. Your body with mine….Gazing into your lovely chocolate brown eyes….Sweet…I love you…." He breathed.
"Why are you whispering?" she smiled, her voice soft and low and Paul gazed at her soft, radiant smile.
"I don't know…." He grinned, chuckling a little and pressed his forehead and nose to hers.
"I love you…." She whispered, her eyes closing as she felt herself in his warm embrace. Her body mingling and moving with his. They would pause, gazing at each other. Whispers were shared. Lips connected and explored. Hot breath on naked skin.
"I was really awkward our first time…" Paul gazed into her eyes, he then laughed at himself and stroked her soft, tan skin. "You were wonderful. Never made me embarrassed about myself….I love you…then and now." He whispered. She saw the love he felt for her in his eyes.
"I thought you were so sweet….cute…." Bert laughed softly and kissed him again. Soft, airy kisses that were pleasant for the both of them. "…and it was just a part of your life… Your first sexual experience...I'm blessed to have shared that with you, Honey…"
"It was great….I've had a beautiful teacher…" Paul smiled and went in for a loving, yet passionate kiss. He gazed sweetly at her, going back in his mind about the first time he made out with her. The first time he made love to her.
~Several years earlier~
Her birthday was February 11th. Paul had taken her out to dinner and dancing for her birthday and he thought of the coming Valentine's day. They had been dating a long while and he wanted to make it special for her. Bert had thanked him for the lovely date and they talked awhile and she spoke to him, while in an embrace. His mind was clouded as he was thinking of what he wanted to do with her for the next date, standing together on her front doorstep. They had said goodbyes for the night and Paul had kissed her…..but then they kept standing there. "I…love you…." She whispered for the first time and Paul felt her soft lips against his. She was the first one to profess their love in the relationship. He was in awe as this was his first serious girlfriend and the first time a woman told him she loved him and meant it, he was for sure. He was nervous as he didn't have a lot of experience with women. Always a gentleman, he never made out with any of the women he dated….just little goodnight kisses like this one. But with Gilbertha, it was different. He wanted more with her, but was too shy and too nervous….and he really wasn't sure how to go about asking for it.
"I love you too…Gilbertha…"
"Call me Bert…..I've told you that before….why won't you listen to me, Mr. Bardrick?" she giggled and welcomed his lips while he hugged her in the cold February moonlight. "We've been dating quite awhile now, you know….A few years…." She embraced him. Paul could feel the boldness in her feminine voice.
"Paul and Bert…" He smiled widely yet sweetly, and held her hand and brought it up to his lips. His eyes gleamed with love as he kissed her hand. Paul would do that often, always such a gentleman. Bert thought her heart would melt or burst of love every time he would kiss her hand.
"That doesn't bother you?" The woman boldly fished for his answer. "Our names together?"
"No…." He chuckled. "but…People might assume…."
Bert let out a muffled laugh. "What?!...That we're two men?! Once they see me they'll know I'm not a man!" She laughed. "And you're definitely no "Nance"!...Oh,…who cares what people think?!" she whispered, her hands on his back and she pulled him closer. "I love you, Paul Ivor…..So who cares? Who cares about our age difference either?"
"It doesn't bother you that you're older than me?" He whispered.
Gilbertha placed her hand on his cheek and she let out a breathy sigh. "It did at first….." Her brown eyes darted as she looked into his. "I thought….'I'm falling in love with this younger man and it scares me to death…..Does he truly love me? Will people look at us differently? How will we look when we're aging and I look older'….Noticeably older….." She kissed him, gazing into his gorgeous hazel eyes. "I don't care about those things any longer…. Age is just a number. That's how I see it… You're 18, I'm 21…We're adults. Nothing's wrong with our three year age difference….Does it bother you?" she asked him. Searching his eyes for the answer.
"Not really…" He smiled at her.
"Besides….I look younger than my age. I can land a younger guy." She said, giggling and Bert wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace.
Paul gently grabbed her face and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight….for the 10th time…." He laughed a little and heard her laughter too and felt her kiss him and she lingered again.
"I better go before you freeze out here….as much as I don't want to go…." Paul whispered. "You're always hard to say goodbye to….I just…don't want to say goodbye…"
"Then come inside for awhile…." She insisted.
"Bert…." He smiled.
"Please…." She smiled, hugging him. "I'll make us some coffee…..and there might be a little cake left I baked…."
"You baked your own birthday cake?! "
Gilbertha chuckled a little, wrapping her arms around him and they gave each other light, breathy kisses. " Are you coming inside with me or not?...Its up to you, Sweetie." She whispered, gazing at him with her little Mona Lisa smile.
"Alright….I will." He smiled and followed her in, taking a seat on her parents' living room couch, while he saw Bert head off into the little kitchen. Soon, coming back with a little slice of chocolate cake for each of them along with cups of hot coffee and the additions.
"Whole family is asleep…." She whispered. "Hopefully they won't wake up with the smell of coffee…." Bert chuckled and sat back against the little couch, with him cozily next to her. "We would just go upstairs to my room anyway…." She held his hand with one and her cup of coffee with her other hand. "Hi…." Bert whispered breathily and smiled at him. She then set her coffee down on the little coffee table in front of them and snuggled close with him. The little room was dimly lit by a small lamp in the small living room and Paul soon found his eyes adjusting to it little by little. He felt her lips on his neck and her soft hands running along his torso, feeling the fabric of his dress shirt. Then he felt her touch the muscles in his arms through his clothing. He felt her hands on his shoulders, running up his neck to caress his face. He felt her kiss instantly. Her kiss that wanted more of him. He felt her touching his clothed body, the flat of her hand running smoothly along his neck and chest, his torso, his belt-line, down his strong solid thighs, feeling the fabric of his dress pants he wore. She felt the muscles in his legs through the fabric of his pants. It was all so much for him to experience and soon he found himself reclined against the little couch, his arms spread on the back of the couch, in the midst of her mouth exploring his. Her hands constantly moving along his clothed body. Paul's heart beat so rapidly. He was so nervous he felt it pounding in his chest. Then, she stopped and his chest rose and fell as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes darted up and down at her face and his gaze drifted lower. How did her dress front come open?!...He was speechless as he gazed at her. Back up at her face and back down again. His virgin eyes were glued to her deep cleavage she willingly exposed. She was a flirt. Bert usually moved quickly in her relationships with men, she knew what they wanted and how to give it…..but with Paul it was different. He had moved slowly, being in this relationship with her. He wanted her to know he was serious…..without getting to know her physically and intimately….until now, of course. The waiting was driving her crazy….but strangely, on the other hand, she didn't mind waiting so long for him. Getting to know him as a person the past few years was great. He was a wonderful man.
"You have…really beautiful breasts…." Paul said, quietly staring at her…His Adams apple bobbed as he gulped slightly and shut his soft eyes. He could just slap himself for saying something like that. Paul had a reputation of being such a gentleman, not some creep. He felt her kiss him, surprised by how her warm tongue found his. His hazel eyes fluttered open and closed again as he let out a grunt. He kissed her while she kissed him…. His mind in a frenzy with the new sensations. Paul glanced and saw a smile on her pretty face and he felt her kiss again.
"Mm…." He grunted again, mid-kiss, and his jaw hinged open as the kiss had broken. He was stunned yet, and he was speechless as he gazed at her.
"Would you like to go upstairs with me?" she whispered as her lips brushed against his ear and he inhaled a breath. Paul couldn't speak and only nodded. Then it was like he blinked and her mouth was with his mouth once again.
"I'm…sorry….for what I said about your…" Paul murmured while following her upstairs….to her own bedroom. He was startled this was really happening. They were quiet as they made it through the hall and stopped in front of her bedroom door. She kissed him and looked sweetly up at him. "Don't be sorry…You're my boyfriend…." They made it to their destination and sat down on her bed. "I've wondered what you like….Breasts? Are you a leg man?" She breathed, pulling him in closer. "Butt?...I like a nice firm tush on a guy, myself…." She grinned, cupping and squeezing his rump a little. "Sorry,….I guess I shouldn't be so bold….Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"Bert….I…uh…" Paul mumbled and let out a breath. He was nervous and inexperienced with these things he didn't know what to tell her….How to tell her. He had never "seen" a woman before. "I uh…."
"What's the matter, Sweetie? " Bert whispered and held his face in her hands and he turned his head, looking away from her, embarrassed. She brought him back to her and her lips danced with his.
Moments passed, and Paul looked on at her and while gulping a little, he tried to put it into words. "Bert….I…I've never…I've never "seen" a woman before…" Paul was embarrassed and turned his face away a moment. " I've never felt a woman….I've never…made love…to a woman before..…" He was so embarrassed, his ears and cheeks were turning red.
She smiled, gazing at him and embraced him. Her voice was soft and calm and non-humiliating. Bert knew these things were just a part of life…..Paul…He was different than the other men in that respect, and that was ok. "Its okay, Honey…." She whispered, with a smile. "There's nothing wrong with that…."
"I'm sorry….I'm…nervous…" Paul breathed and felt her wrap her arms around him and he lay his hand on her back.
"Its alright…." She whispered and lay down on the bed with him. Her fingers smoothed the back of his neck. "Do you want to do this with me? Do you want to have sex?"
"I don't think I can do that…..I can't….just have sex. I think I have to have feelings for a woman to do that…..to make love. "
"You have feelings for me…." Bert smiled at him sweetly, and embraced him. "So you want to make love to me….With me?" she whispered, smiling. She smoothed his cheek with a soft touch of her finger.
"Yes…" Paul nodded. "I've been thinking about it lately….I thought about Valentine's Day." He breathed and swallowed a little. "Roses…Wine….I wanted it to be lovely for you….I've done a little reading on what goes on… What to expect….I wanted it to be real nice….when we consummated our relationship." Paul gulped a little with nerves. He had never spoken like this with her before, of course.
Bert smiled and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "That's very sweet…." She whispered, holding his face in her hands. "But you don't need to do all that for me…" she breathed a whisper, and she smiled at him. Her voice was as soft as her beautiful smile. "I'm ok with just tonight. How we are right now….Is that alright with you?" Bert whispered, her hand softly resting on his cheek. "We'll go slow…..at a pace you're comfortable with….Don't be embarrassed, Paul…." Bert whispered, brushing a thumb against his cheek. Hesitant lips brushed against hers and he heard her whisper. "You do want this? I won't force you to do this….Just because I'm older…doesn't mean I'm taking the lead here…"
"Role reversal…" Paul chuckled nervously.
Gilbertha smiled gently. Looking at him seriously then, she took his hand in hers. "I mean it….Do you want this?" she whispered.
Bert smiled at Paul as she saw him nod his head. She kissed him. "Would you like to get undressed with me then?"
Soon, she had unbuttoned her dress and took it off, hanging it up in her closet . Paul sat there silent, gazing at her while she was undressing. She got back in her bed with him when she saw he was in his 1930s jockeys and undershirt, under the covers. Bert thought he was so cute how he was so careful to just cuddle a little with her. He held her hand and let out a sigh and turned his face towards hers. "I always thought….the woman I would be intimate with someday….was the woman…I would marry someday." He swallowed. "I wanted it to be you too….ever since I met you…"
Bert smiled and her lips smoothly brushed with his in another kiss. "That's beautiful, Paul…." Paul felt her soft hand caress his face a moment and she hesitated to kiss him. "If I didn't know better…..I would call that a proposal, Paul Bardrick."
He smiled and looked very seriously at her. "I would give you a ring when I do that…..You deserve that. I will." He smiled.
She smiled as he acted like he was going to kiss her and put his hand forward but then brought it back. He was so nervous, he wasn't sure what to do first about being intimate with her.
"Go ahead…..you may touch me…." Bert smiled and her fingers caressed his strong chin. "It's alright." She whispered. Bert smiled a little as she felt him kiss her and his hand carefully smoothed down her neck and stopped at the skin of her chest. His hazel eyes grew wide as she had taken off her brassiere for him.
"Its ok…don't be shy…." She whispered, bringing his hand to one of her breasts. "Its alright…." Bert whispered, glancing at him. His innocent eyes fluttered and he felt the soft fullness of her breast in his hand. She smiled as his hand smoothed over her breasts and down to her midriff. "How do you like seeing and touching a woman?" Gilbertha smiled, happily sighing as she saw his sweet yet nervous smile and blushing cheeks and ears. Bert thought it was adorable how his ears and cheeks would turn red when he was shy and embarrassed. She took his face in her hands and she kissed him.
"You're beautiful…." He breathed and his nose brushed against hers. He spent a lot of time just laying down on her bed with her, cuddling, gazing at her.
"Would you like to take off my panties?" His head turned at her low whisper and he saw her smiling at him. He glanced at her and nervously reached for them. Paul let out a breath as she had helped him slide them down her long, attractive legs, and she took them off for him. Turning onto her side beside him, she looked at Paul, he just sat there gazing at her. He locked eyes with her and smiled a little. He gazed at the light, beautiful curves of her feminine body. Paul thought she was nearly too beautiful to even touch her, like a porcelain doll,….yet Bert's lovely tanned skin was shades deeper than porcelain. A natural tan. Bert put her hand on his waist, running her hand along his torso and chest, feeling the white fabric of his tank top he wore, and she whispered, asking if it was alright with him if she could take off his shirt. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and nodded his head. His hand brushed against hers as she helped him take off the white tank top. Paul exhaled a little as he felt her hand smooth across his chest hair and his stomach. Paul was very tall, had some nice muscles, strong thighs. He wasn't all muscle though, perhaps an inch of fat that covered them. He breathed deeply as he felt her touch. Paul wasn't used to having a woman touch him. His skin. His body. Like this.
"Paul….you're quite sexy…." Bert smiled at him. "I've been dreaming of seeing you like this for awhile….you're always a gentleman, I-….I should just stop talking, shouldn't I?...Paul, I'm sorry…" She said boldly. She nearly looked away, but his gaze caught her eye.
"Do you….want me to take off my jockeys? " He asked quietly. Paul felt a little awkward….but he liked hearing what she thought about him. That she thought he was handsome. Sexy.
"If you'd like…." Bert whispered, smiling at him. "Whatever you would like to do…"
Gaining some confidence, he slipped off the snug fitting underwear. "Is it alright if….if I hold you again? I like that." Paul smiled.
"If that would make you the most comfortable….Sweetie,…" Bert's large dovelike, yet sensual brown eyes adored him. "We don't even have to go "all the way" tonight. This is your night and I want you to be comfortable as you can. If you don't want to have intercourse right away….then that's fine." Bert whispered. She held his thick hands in hers and leaned forward to kiss his lips. "I understand…its all new…"
Paul smiled at her, softly kissed her forehead without asking to do so this time. "You're sweet…." He whispered, her unclothed body against his. He took his time, just holding her in his arms. He felt her breathing and his chin settled on top of her head, as soft as he could. Her thin, smooth body felt so nice against his manly physique. He had hair on his chest, a trail on his stomach and hair on his forearms and legs. Strong, broad shoulders, a solid chest and torso. He was a beautiful man, although he had often wondered what women would think of his body. He was nervous what SHE thought of his body, also of his manhood and if he had too much pubic hair. If it was an attractive thing. He was unsure how to ask the question. He gazed at her lady parts, and decided it was ok and that it didn't matter. It was the style back then. It was normal….. He gazed at her some more. There was no doubt he thought her body was beautiful. He thought every inch of her was beautiful. Paul loved her beautiful midnight black hair. He never knew how someone could have hair so black and dark and beautifully soft. Her big adoring, soulful brown eyes. Her beautiful, red lips. Paul gazed at her goregeous, long neck,…her dainty shoulders, the curve of her breasts, the way her waist dipped in slightly,…the soft, light curve of her hips, and those long, beautiful legs. Even her feet were cute, he thought. He couldn't wrap his head around how beautiful she was, or that here he was! With her. In her bed. Together. In love!….Paul felt a soft kiss upon his lips and felt her lay her head near his ear and soon, he heard a whisper. Asking him if it was alright for her to touch and caress his penis. He was quiet and only blinked and nodded yes. Paul glanced down as he felt her gentle fingertips brush against the inches of his flaccid length. He soon was sitting on her bed with his arms supporting him, with her near him, touching him. She took him in her gentle hand and stroked and felt the more fragile parts of his anatomy. Giving him these new, pleasing sensations. Now, she kissed his slightly chiseled shoulder, with her hand still at work. His head turned to hers and his full lips found her delicate ones. Paul's eyes opened and all he saw was her smile. Her hand began to pick up speed on his manliness. The friction thus created certainly felt pleasurable for the young man. Things were happening. Gilbertha's eyes smiled at him as she felt his arousal in her hand. The man's shaft growing firmer by the ever changing technique. His jaw locked open a moment and he was embarrassed of the noise he let out.
"Woah!..…" He later muttered as these strange, new sensations were finished in an instant in his rush of sexual release and he felt her lovely face against his. Paul felt her gentle, loving kisses on his neck and face and his lips. He was lost in the moment till he gazed again at her, through his dark eyelashes. Looking down at himself in his panted breathing, he noticed the thickened white substance was on her sheets, a little on himself and mostly on her dainty hand.
"I…I'm sorry…." He grunted. "Its all on your hand…." He whispered, almost sheepishly.
"That's alright…." Her smooth, soft voice whispered, then kissed him. "Its supposed to happen….." Then she whispered into his ear, certain things sexual in nature. Pleasurable things. "Its ok, Sweetie…."
"I know…Its just…I never felt that….quite like that before." Paul's hazel eyes fluttered and he felt her smooth arms around him, her head against his chest. "In the morning, sure…." He panted. "I didn't expect it to be like that…"
"Its normal, Honey…..You don't have to be sorry or embarrassed…Paul, its alright." She whispered and her face rose up and her lips met his.
"Its alright…." She whispered, smiling at him. Gilbertha lay her head against his chest and held him in an intimate embrace, sitting together on her bed.
"I take cold baths every morning….or whenever it-….."
She kissed his chest and her arms smoothed his back. "Oh, Honey….Sweetheart…" Bert whispered, kissing his chest, up his neck and again, his full, manly lips. "Its alright….There is no shame…nothing dirty about what your body does!" Gilbertha gazed at him. "You are normal….you are a man….you're sexy…..there is nothing wrong with what we're doing, ok?….Sex is very natural….Sex is a beautiful, wonderful thing that brings two people, two lovers together…..Oh, Honey, its alright….You're completely normal feeling sexual urges. Its okay to be sexual…" Her voice was caring, soft and low and it radiated love. "….Paul….its ok.. It's built into us to feel these things….It's perfectly alright…." Gilbertha whispered, hugging him. "…Did that feel good?"
"Uh-huh….." He breathed and nodded. Paul gazed at the beautiful, grown woman that was before him. He was amazed at her. Her maturity. Her confidence. Her knowledge. Near perfection. She was absolutely amazing, enchanting, he thought. Intriguing.
"See?" She smiled, softly clinging to him. "….its perfectly fine…..don't feel ashamed."
"I have such a strong hunger for it. Every day….It gets worse when I see you….when I hug you….when I kiss you…I try not to think about you so much…."
"Oh Honey." Bert whispered, planting a kiss upon his lips. "its alright….I have them too…..Yes." she nodded, smiling, looking into his sweet eyes. "Sometimes I think they're as intense as a man's!" Gilbertha whispered and snuggled her nose close to his, their lips meeting again. She began to chuckle and her joy was infectious. She felt a firm kiss from him all on his own and he lay down again with her next to him. Arms holding the other close. Her smooth leg intertwined with his.
"Did that feel good?" she whispered, smiling a loving, little Mona Lisa smile at him. Her face inches from his. She kissed him softly and gazed into his sweet, innocent hazel eyes and her smile went wider as he grinned and nodded. Bert felt a willing, sweet kiss from Paul and they lay there on her bed for quite awhile. Sometimes kissing and touching, holding each other…..and sometimes just looking at each other. Breaking, for her to get something for him to clean himself up. And something for them to drink.
Gilbertha came face to face with her mother downstairs in the kitchen. The short, petite, fiery German lady was up getting a drink of water. "You wear man's shirt?" Rosina looked at her daughter, dressed in Paul's dress shirt.
"…You have man in bed….." Rosina Walbrun said in her broken English. "Ted Bowman?….You break up und go back, have sex with Ted?!"
"Mutter…." Gilbertha sighed. And she spoke in German to her. Explaining it wasn't Ted, mentioning Paul's name. "Ted broke up with me…... We've both moved on…."
"Ok….." Rosina nodded. "Well,….This….This Paul…You give ihm baby….you marry that man." Her mother told her sternly on their way up the stairs. That was her only rule for her children. If children came along, the couple would marry as soon as it was possible.
"Yes Mother." Gilbertha nodded. "…We've already talked about marriage….Paul is the sweetest. He's so respectful and caring….and romantic….He lets me be the bold, independent woman I am. He lets me be, me…" Bert's face radiated a smile. Even her eyes smiled. She knew she was in love with this man. And she didn't give a care in the whole world that he was three years younger than her. "He reminds me of Daddy in some ways…like how sweet and quiet he is. "
"And he hung like horse or bull!" Her mother said in broken English. "Oh, my…."
"Mother, I can't believe you just said that!"
"I see ihm!" she blushed. The door to Bert's bedroom was opened slightly. The short little lady saw her daughter's tall boyfriend. He stood tall at exactly 6 foot tall. There he was, laying on her daughter's bed! Looking around her room. Seeing the newspaper clippings Bert had saved of her Glee club in high school, her plays she acted in. Her basketball and the group picture on the wall of her basketball team "the Dubuque Lumber Girls" With Bert front and center, holding the team basketball. There was also Catholic holy pictures on the walls, crucifixes, a small rosary hanging on one wall, and a little statue of the Virgin Mary on the bedside table.
"He good?" Her mother asked. "It good for you both?"
"Mutter…" Gilbertha whispered sharply and spoke in German. "…Its his first time…..We haven't done anyth-"
"Oh….so you take his…-his….Jungfräulichkeit."
"Mother….I know we've been comfortable with things like this….but I can't believe we are talking about this right now!"
"Ok…Ok, I leave you alone…." Rosina muttered and patted her daughter on the shoulder. "Er ist größer als dein Vater!" The woman exclaimed with a funny look on her face and retreated to her and her husband's bedroom.
"Mutter!" Bert exclaimed in German, embarrassed. She shut her bedroom door after her, locking it.
"Everything alright?" Paul asked quietly.
"Yes…its fine. Just my mother embarrassing me." Bert chuckled, trying to shrug it off, and got into her own bed with him again. She began kissing him again and her soft arms found him and caressed his body.
"Are your parents mad I'm here in your room?" He asked her. "Is your mother mad?"
"No…..No Honey…." She whispered and hugged him, giving him kisses on his lips. "Its alright….They are just fine with it….Its normal." Gilbertha smiled at him. Her hand smoothed his chest and torso. "I'm a Walbrun after all….Walbrun's have a strong sex drive and Mother understands!...She married Daddy after all!" Bert laughed and began to sigh. "….She simply just told me, "You give ihm baby,…you marry!" That's her only rule." Gilbertha giggled, imitating her mother's German accent. "We can do as we please….Sex is a natural thing. They've always thought that…..Boy likes girl, Girl likes boy." Bert smiled at him. That radiant flash of a smile.
"You'd ….have my children?" He whispered. Paul was nose to nose with her. Just laying in bed with her. Her bed.
"Yes, of course I would…" Gilbertha gazed at him and smiled. "Our children would be beautiful, don't you think so?" she smiled, thinking about it. She never before wanted to plan her future with a man, until that moment. With him. Now she dreamed of their future together. Married, with a few children. Working together, loving each other. She dreamed of running a business with him. A restaurant…..a hotel…..a ranch or farm. Something. Whatever they wanted to do, she would stick by his side through it and help him live their dreams. He talked of running a cattle ranch or dairy farm someday, and she could just picture it with him.
He smiled at her comment about their future children and he lay there with her, naked, under the covers awhile talking, till he quietly asked her questions about sex. Her experiences. "So…You've had sex before?"
"Yes…" She replied, holding him. "You know Ted Bowman…." Bert whispered, sighing.
"Yeah…" Paul blinked, thinking about Ted. A real charmer. His chest swelled with a speck of jealousy that Ted had been with her, Paul shrugged it off and looked at her.
"It was after the movies….we went up to Lovers' Lane….." she said quietly. "We had a short sexual relationship after that…"
"What happened? Why are you with me and not him?"
"He broke up with me….there was another girl he decided he liked better…."
"He's stupid…" Paul said, matter of factly. He slowly turned his face to hers and smiled, whispering. "I'll never leave you….Promise."
Bert smiled and answered a loving thank you, in a kiss. "I don't think Ted loved me….just wanted me…."
"Well your body is goregeous so I can see why….but that's still not good of that guy…." Paul whispered. "I love you….I won't treat you bad like him."
"You're so sweet, Paul…" Gilbertha whispered, melting in his embrace. She closed her eyes as she felt a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"Have you had sex with anyone else?" He asked, sitting up slightly and she got up and sat near him on the bed.
"I've done a few sexual things with the boys back in high school. Elton White….his brother Harold. There were others….But penetrative sex, no…..Just Ted…." She confessed to him, laying a hand on his knee. "I won't keep things from you, Paul. I hope you don't think less of me…."
"Well its in the past, right?"
"Yes." She whispered, wrapping her arms around him, relaxing with him on the bed. "You're the man I want…We have a connection I don't think I can quite describe….but I feel it."
He kissed her, her arm grazed his back, her chin settled on his shoulder amidst a loving embrace, and then Paul sat there awhile, gazing at her. Her body. She soon whispered into his ear and asked if he would like to go further tonight.
"Do you want to?" he whispered. Gazing into her eyes.
"I've waited for you…and I can wait more if I need to." She told him lovingly. Bert didn't want to push him into anything. This was so different than the norm. She had never taken a man's virginity before.
"But…I want to…." He smiled at her. "If you want to."
Paul leaned in and his lips found hers. He didn't know a lot about sex but he wanted to learn. He wanted to know what women liked….what she liked, rather. He was nervous. Since this would be his first time. He was nervous about his body as well and what she thought of it.
"Am I too big?" his innocence was so endearing to the young woman. "I don't want to hurt you….I don't want to crush you or somethin'. "
Gilbertha smiled, kissing him and her hand drifted down his neck to his chest…her fingers softly smoothed over his abs, and down and caressed his manly girth. "You won't. And you're just a bit bigger than average…and that can be really sexy for some women….Has anyone told you you're hung like a bull?….You know, the guys? When you were in school?" She glanced at him with a certain grin on her face. "You should be proud of yourself for how handsome and manly you are!" she flirted a little, building him up.
Paul chuckled and leaned in and began to whisper. "Bull testicles and penis are actually pretty huge….I should know, I work sometimes on my uncle's ranch, remember?….." That comment made them both crack up laughing. Bert felt a kiss on her cheek and she giggled, feeling him wrap his arms around her. "Oh Paul….I love you!" she laughed, she turned her face to meet him and they shared a kiss that left both of them smiling. "…plus what matters is how you use what God gave you! I'll teach you what I can…."
"It's a good thing I want to learn…" he grinned. Bert smiled and leaned in and kissed him. Their lips finding each other's, hands smoothing and stroking skin and parts of the body. "You know what you're doing, Bert."
She broke a loving, slow kiss and gazed at him, her arms smoothing his back in an embrace. "Would you like to start off with cuddling? You really enjoy that, huh?" Bert smiled at him.
"Well yeah….because I'm cuddling with the loveliest young woman in Dubuque, Iowa." Paul smiled. "Most beautiful too…."
"Paul…." Came her whisper and a smile. He even made her blush a little. Nose to nose, lips to lips, and skin to skin, and soon they found themselves lying down again, him being the big spoon. Paul was loosening up but there was still a bit of nervousness since it would be his first sexual experience.
"I'm glad we've waited till now…." He whispered into her ear, smoothing back her black hair.
Gilbertha held his hand while in his arms and turned her head back to look at him. "Me too, or I'd be jailbait!" Laughter came from both of them. Gilbertha's eyes and smile lit up her whole face as she gazed at him. Her long, dark eyelashes blinking slowly. Her lips found his. She was bold and her tongue began to mingle with his warm mouth. "I love…kissing you…." Paul whispered. "You taste so good…." He smiled in the middle of a kiss. "You feel good…." The younger man whispered and quickly caressed her lovely neck. Her breasts. He was so excited and so in love with lust and infatuation for her, he didn't know what to do with his hands sometimes. Paul calmed himself and slowed down a little. He loved just laying with her and kissing her. Holding her. Even that was nice.
"Kissing my neck would be nice….I really like that." She closed her eyes, smiling as he was running his fingers slowly through her hair at her suggestion. She felt the sensation of kisses and she turned her head and her mouth explored his again. "Oh, I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing you….You're a quick learner with that one, Honey." She smiled, with her loving gaze.
"I like kissing you better…." Paul grinned. "Your lips feel so soft…like silk. You're more beautiful than silk too."
"Mmmm….Paul, honey….You're such a romantic, sweet talker!...and I think its safe to say we're both nearly ready….." She smiled, letting out a breathy laugh, feeling his arousal against her inner thigh. "It'll be alright. I love you, Sweetheart." She whispered, holding him. Gilbertha lost herself in their kisses they shared and her body mingled with his. His legs tangling with hers. "You'll do just fine….You won't hurt me, don't worry…." She breathed and kissed him again. She later suggested just a little more time before they tried it. Paul was nervous and really concerned about hurting her.
"You won't sweetie….We'll go slow….it will be ok." Gilbertha whispered, laying with him, her arms and legs around him. Paul kissed her, with fumbling arms and hands and legs. He was eager, but clumsy. He tried it, but his girth and his inexperience were making things difficult. "Did I do it ok? Am I…Am I in you?" His mouth found her shoulder in a tender kiss and her neck as well, and he breathed out, fumbling around.
"Its alright….try it again…Slower." She whispered, smiling. Her hand reached for and played with the hair at the nape of his neck, her long fingers running through it. Her hand was smoothing along his back, her soft hands feeling the new muscles in his back and his shoulders. She caressed his back and his neck, without thinking she brought her hands around and caressed the front of his body. His chest, torso,….fingers and hands grazing his member…..She kissed him, laying face to face, side by side together. He tried a couple more times. Paul wanted so much to please her and make her happy.
"I'm sorry, Bert…." He breathed and ran his hand along her back and laying his hand accidentally on her shapely tush, sending her shivers, unknowingly making her even more aroused.
"Its alright, Paul….Honey…" She whispered and kissed his neck and then found his full lips. She thought his lips were gorgeous for a man's. Firm, yet soft. Kissable. And so of course their lips met again.
"Relax…..and try it again. You'll get it…..We'll figure it out." She whispered. "…I really love you, Paul."
Soon, her hand guided his hand to her little sweet spot. Their fingers and hands entangled and she helped his firm ranch-worked fingers brush along it, giving her some pleasure. "Try that for awhile….then you can go back to it again…..Not too hard." She breathed and closed her eyes in bliss at that feeling it gave.
"Does that….feel good?!" His sweet hazel eyes went wide in wonder.
"Oh….Yes!" she smiled, deeply inhaled and exhaled back out. "Yes…" she breathed, and kissed him lovingly. Deeply. She was so patient and loving towards him. Bert kissed him, whispering certain things of sexual nature and words of encouragement into his ear. She explained and described certain things without humiliating him of his inexperience and shelteredness. She tried her best to not embarrass him..….Finally able to get the right angling, he succeeded. She held him tighter and let out a breath, kissing him more and more, feeling him fill up completely of the petal soft folds of her warm dampness. The sudden experience of fullness was an amazing sensation for her. Therefore, she nearly cried out, but bit her bottom lip instead. She wrapped her legs over his body and pulled him ever closer, giving warm, damp kisses.
Paul's eyes went wide in concern. "Did I hurt you….Are you ok? What did I do?!"
"You didn't…." Her smile and voice raditated that she was in contented blissfulness. "Oh….Paul….Its alright. I'm ok…Go ahead….I'm just fine!...Kiss me, please…." She whispered. "Oh, I love you…."
"How does it feel?" she asked him later, her hair spread out in waves on the bed, as he pressed in slowly and back out again. He could hardly focus between the pleasurable feelings and seeing her.
"Keep on….its alright." Bert whispered and her hungering lips enveloped his. Paul wrapped his arms around her, caressing the curvature of her back as they lay on their sides, trying to move together, though his movements were jerky and clumsy. It wasn't always the nicest physical sensation for her, but she was loving and patient. Trying to be encouraging and explaining how to do the act. She knew she loved this younger man and he also loved her, he adored her, which made their lovemaking special. To feel that someone actually loved her! She had been wanting that for so long!….. He slowed down with his fumbling movements. He lay with her, breathing heavy. And he had hardly done anything. "I'm sorry." He whispered.
"Its alright, Paul….Its alright." Bert whispered, kissing his forehead and down his nose. "…maybe you'd like to change position…" she suggested. And soon, he had pulled out and she laid down on her back against the off-white sheets.
Soon enough, he plunged again into her womanhood, his mouth finding hers and his hands now naturally smoothing her neck and chest and his hands ran down her arms to caress them. He lightly held her hand as they moved. He sunk in once again. Hands fumbling around. Legs squirming. Hips rocking, although clumsily.
"You're so soft…so warm!" He groaned, kissing her. Not knowing how his words and the sound of his deeper voice allured her. "So wet, warm….so good." His manly voice was soft and low "…You're so beautiful. So gorgeous!... Uh…" He breathed. "Does this feel good? Do you like it? Is it ok?" he awkwardly whispered and he went in again, his lips found hers. He was in awe of the entire experience. And of her.
Bert let out breathy laughs and kissed him, pulling him closer, her arms smoothing his body. It may not have been the greatest sex for her, but she loved him! She enjoyed hearing him enjoying himself in this brand new experience. She loved how eager he was to try to please her. He would learn. They would get better at this with time and practice.
Paul groaned in pleasure and stopped a moment like he was distracted. He locked eyes with the statue of the Virgin Mary on the bedside table. Guilt flooded in…He stared at it. Feeling like her cold, statue eyes were staring into him, judging him. Judging them. He glanced down at this beautiful woman he loved so much and his mouth hung open lightly.
"You stopped…." Gilbertha mumbled, kissing him. "What's the matter? Its alright…."
She was Catholic, he thought. Weren't Catholic young people advised to be pure before marriage?! And she hadn't!...Now, in this moment, he hadn't. And he was a Methodist….What was he doing?! What were they doing? Were they wrong to express their love this way?! Were they wrong to be together?! Paul didn't want to think so. He loved her so much. Oh, he knew how much he loved and adored her!
"Go on….Its alright, Honey…." She whispered. He turned the statue around so he couldn't see its staring eyes and went back to their loving act. As quickly as it began, it was over with, with such friction. He felt himself release and tried to catch his breath, laying with his weight on top of her. "I love you…..Bert…" he mumbled, his mouth finding hers in a kiss. He kissed her neck again and hugged her. He felt her arms wrap around his strong back.
"Oh, I love you too, honey…." Her whispers were muffled in kissing him. "I love you too."
Hours went by, there was a small knocking on her bedroom door and a jiggling of the wooden door. It was locked though, of course.
"Mother says to come to breakfast, Bert…." A voice came, the person trying to open the locked door.
"I'm a little busy at the moment!" Bert replied. She recognized the little voice to be her then 12 year old sister's, Rosa.
"Oh, I know! Mother says you had a man in your bed!"
"Rosa!...We're….talking."
"What?!...You are not…. I heard you last night too, I know what did…I heard funny noises and you kept sighing funny, Bert!...You guys woke me up!"
"We're sorry….Geez." Bert whispered, putting her face in her hands, embarrassed.
"Can I come in there?"
"No!...Go to breakfast already!"
"Well, Mother asked me to go get you!" young Rosa replied with sass in her little voice.
"Paul and I will be downstairs in a bit…." Bert glanced at him as he was waking up from their night's slumber. The first thing he woke to was her pretty smile. He was in awe that morning.
"Oh, his name is….Paul?!" the preteen girl teased and giggled.
"Rosa, step away from my bedroom door and go downstairs! My boyfriend and I will be there in a little bit."
"Ok, ok! I'm going!...Oh, nice to meet you,….Paul!" came the little voice and soon there was giggling and footsteps heard down the wooden stairs.
Gilbertha turned her head and sighed, looking into her boyfriend's sweet, soft eyes. She was a little embarrassed. Not of them and their love…not the fact that they had had sex, for she believed sex to be a very natural, normal, beautiful thing,…...but of her family. About her little sister. About the incident with her mother as well! "Good morning, Sweetie…..I'm sorry…." She whispered as she tenderly kissed him.
"Oh, its ok…." He whispered. Paul held her close and being the gentleman he was, he brought her hand up to his mouth and softly kissed it. "Its alright…" he smiled and planted a soft kiss upon her cheek. He was surprisingly easy going about the situation. He felt so comfortable with Gilbertha. And he would tolerate her family and their teasing and their boldness if it meant he would spend his life with her in love and marriage. Even if they didn't like him, he told her he still would be with her. He was intentional. He told her he loved her and he wanted to be with her and only her.
So Paul was set to have breakfast with the Walbrun family that morning. The two lovers exited her bedroom to find her brother Eddie in the hallway on the little telephone. "Yes Babe….Oh….I threw your kisses to the north wind. Which should carry them straight to you. I love you, Babe….Of course I'll come see you today. Can't wait…." He stood there smiling and glanced over at his sister.
"I didn't know my little brother was such a sweet-talking Romeo!"
Eddie set the phone down as he finished the call and raised his eyebrows at the couple. "…So which one is this guy, Birdie?!" Eddie nodded at the young man, standing by his sister. "Another notch on your headboard?" He teased his sister and chuckled a little. "I didn't quite know my older sister was such an animal!..." Eddie whispered, and laughed at her reddened face. She had brushed past him, with Paul following her.
~Present time. February 11th, 1939.~
"An animal!...I always knew you were Foxy!" Paul laughed and wrapped her up in his arms. "And hey…Even after all these years I still don't think I could be rough with you…." He whispered, with a loving sigh, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ear.
"I used to like it rough…. But I didn't want to scare you off honey!" she laughed. "…Not even a light slap?" she whispered, grinning as he went in for a kiss, and her arms enveloped his body. "Never mind…I might like it too much…" Bert teased.
"I could never spank you….Sorry." He smiled and his lips grazed hers. "My hands are for loving, Baby…."
"I dare you…" She laughed boldly.
"Alright….over my knee, young lady!" He laughed, pulling her naked body over his naked lap, hearing the beautiful sound of her laughter. She had such an attractive, genuine laugh. "Told you I can't…." Paul whispered. He smiled into her eyes, his hand squeezed her gently and travelled up her body, squeezing and rubbing her skin lovingly. His kiss welcomed hers and he sighed, gazing into those beautiful eyes of hers, like pools of melted chocolate. "I wish I could stay all day here with you…." Paul whispered.
"We've got work to do, Mr. Cattle Rancher…..Let's go put on some clothes." She smiled. Bert dressed in an old pair of Paul's denim pants he wore on the ranch, held up by a belt of course. He gazed at her, grinning a little.
"What?" she laughed at him, donning another shirt, a pair of long underwear, in an effort to be warm enough in the freezing cold.
"You look adorable in my clothes…."
"Yes, and I'm drowning in them! " she chuckled and caressed his strong arms as he wrapped her up in a warm, soft hug. His hands moved and caressed the small of her back. The long sleeves of her husband's sweater she had put on, covered her knuckles. She giggled, bringing her hands up to his face and smiled and sighed as he kissed up and down her cute button nose. "You are blushing like a rose, my Dear…"
"And you, my Dear, are being so mushy gushy….its sick…" She laughed, teasing him, yet melted as he held her in his arms. "I love you…." Bert whispered softly, with her head resting on his shoulder. "Do I get to bottle feed our newest little calf?" she moved her head a little and smiled up at him.
"Sure, Honey….." Paul smiled tenderly, daydreaming about it, and her. "C'mon…" They put on their winter coats and tall rubber boots they wore on the ranch, and strolled together to the cattle barn.
Bert felt her husband mischievously, lightly pat and cup her backside and heard him whisper in her ear, "You should wear slacks more often! One's that fit better though." He chuckled. "Make that butt even more heavenly." Paul whispered, grinning at her.
"You rascal…." She chuckled, and stopped a moment to kiss him. A naughty gleam in her brown eyes appeared, as she slapped him hard on the backside!
"Hey!" Paul grinned, laughing a little and wrapped his arm around her and went in for a kiss as they walked into the barn.
"Don't dish it out unless you can take it…" she teased him. "Pat, pat, cup, cup!.." Bert said as she playfully patted and cupped his rump, and giggled at their naughty silliness. The barn filled with their laughter! "Paul….I love you!" She grinned.
"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart…." Paul gazed at her softly and smiled at her and his lips brushed with hers.
"You make every birthday sweeter…." She smiled up at him. Then she sighed. "Next year's the big 3-0!…..In the words of Coco Chanel, you can be gorgeous at 30, charming at 40,…and irresistible for the rest of your life!"
Paul grinned and playfully and daringly kissed her neck and then her lips. "Irresistible is right!...I love you…Let's go back to the house…..What were we doing here?!" he joked, then gave her quite the kiss!
She gazed at him. "I bet you won't be like this when we're 90!" And Bert couldn't help but laugh and threw her arms around him in a hug.
"Oh, I'll still try!" He chuckled. "….I hope we go together…..someday, when we're old and grey."
"The man's always the first to go, you know."
"Not me…." He said. "I think we're inseparable….Love you, Baby."
"I love you too….now, we have work to do! Need I remind you that you are a cattle rancher!" She giggled.
"I know…I wish I had more time with you." He said softly. And his gaze at her was just as soft. He simply adored her. "You know Hon,…." Paul smiled, wrapping her into an embrace. "Working cattle together, I'd say is the best form of marriage counseling…."
"Oh, yes?" She looked up at him, pressing closer.
Paul nodded. "If you can make it through that, you can make it through anything….We've made it through a lot, Baby." He nodded, smiling and planted a soft kiss upon her forehead.
As the two began their work with the cattle, little calves soon flocked to Bert and she greeted each and every one of them. She thought they were the cutest little creatures, with their soft shiny fur and cute pink noses!
She sat down on a bail of stacked and bundled hay and coaxed the newest, cutest calf of the little group over to her "Come here, Sieben….." Bert smiled at the cute little black calf with lovely, midnight black eyes. He had a perfect white 7 on the front of his little head. Therefore, Bert named him 7. 7 in German, that is. "There's my cute little buddy…" she said softly as he came closer to her. "Yes, you're hungry, huh?...Hey, Sieben….Hey. There we go buddy." Bert said sweetly and held the bottle for the fuzzy animal as he drank. "Oh, look at him go! Look at him go at it, Paul!...Oh, he is so precious." She smiled, feeding the little calf his bottle. Bert fed the cute animal while stroking the soft fur on his head. She soon turned solemn, thinking this was the closest she could get to feeding a little baby…..Bert began to think maybe to imagine them as parents of a child just wasn't going to be in the cards for them, no matter how much they wanted it. Paul gazed at his wife bottle-feeding the sweet little calf,…daydreaming. Hoping and praying they could have a baby. Just one last chance! Just one last time where they could conceive and the pregnancy would be good, that she would carry the pregnancy the whole way…. and they would finally have a child. He began to pray for that. A quick second, he doubted his thinking but he inwardly brushed it away. He knew their desire for their own children never went away. He would never stop praying about it. For them to have their own baby. He would pray through her whole pregnancy as well, he decided right then. Paul knew no matter what he would be there for her. He would make sure of that.
"We need to design our own branding, honey….." Gilbertha brought him out of his dreaming.
"I suppose so…" Paul said quietly.
"We're beginning to have quite a large, successful cattle ranch! We need to brand them, ASAP…."
Paul nodded, wrapping his arms around her middle, from behind her. His strong chin settling in the crook of her neck. She felt the prickliness of his scruff on her soft skin and then felt his smile and his soft, gentle kisses there on her neck. "Would my amazing, beautiful, talented wife like to draw up some ideas? I'm sure you'd design a great one. Better than I would." He said, kissing her cheek.
"He's a comedian!" she laughed. Bert hugged him and gazed at him. "Paul….you can do anything! I know you can, Sweetie! Jack of all trades…." She grinned at him slyly.
"I would still love your help." He smiled. "We're amazing together, you and me…."
1939 flew on. And what a year it was. Full of changes. Joyous times, yet also scary times. September 1st, 1939 began the start of the Second World War when Hitler invaded Poland. The day that shook the world.
In addition to that, life was trying for Paul and Bert. But they knew they had each other and would weather the storms together. They both prayed at least a little good would come to them.
"Hey, Bert?" Paul called, coming into the kitchen with the mail he had picked up in Cheyanne Wells. "Bert?"
"I'm in the coat closet, Honey!" she called, doing some arranging in there, planning on letting go of a few things. Some Spring cleaning.
"Picked up the mail, Baby…Has your name on it…." He said, handing her a letter.
"Paul! Why didn't you open it?!" She said, reading who it was addressed to, "Gilbertha and Paul Bardrick."
"Your mail. Your name's first on it." Paul shrugged.
"Nonsense!…." She huffed and then grabbed his chin with her thumb and her index finger and planted a kiss on his firm lips, making him smile. "Well…." She smiled at him, "….we'll open it together….see what it is! Its from…..Aw!...my uncle Gilbert….." she smiled, reading who it was from. Fr. Wolfgang Schoeberl. Also known as Gilbert or Gilberto. Wolfgang was only his nickname. He was a missionary priest in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. Gilbertha took a seat in the kitchen on the little window seat where the little wire basket where they kept their mail also was. She read about his Catholic mission work at an orphanage and he suggested to the young couple about adoption in his letter.
"Oh….my…." she sighed, gazing at a picture her uncle had sent of sweet, cute little Brazilian babies and little children. She glanced at Paul a moment. "But…all the way in Brazil?...We'd have to go there…And learn Portuguese so we could communicate…..I just don't know, Paul….but…but look at them!" her eyes watered. "Sweet faces. Those beautiful dark eyes!...Oh Paul…We have SO MUCH love we could give a child….a little baby." Her heart swelled, tears forming with a pulling in her chest, and she lay a hand over her heart, swiftly moving back up to her lips, trying to keep the tears away. "Oh, look at them, Sweetheart…."
Paul nodded sweetly and sat down next to her, putting an arm around her. "Its certainly something to think about…..Keep it an option, maybe." He said softly. "We don't need to make any hasty decisions right now….and we should BOTH be in agreement…."
"You don't want to…I get it…." She said boldly. Paul looked at her, and knew she was on the verge of tears.
"Honey…." Paul said sensitively. "I didn't mea-"
"Just forget it, Paul…." Her tone of voice was sharp. Every little thing was making her cry or irritating her lately. "I know what you meant….." She argued and went into their bedroom. Paul followed and saw her rummaging around, searching for who knows what, her hot temper flaring. She inherited the spicy, bold "tell it like it is" Walbrun temperment….but most of the time she tried her best to subdue it.
"Sweetheart, I didn't mean anything by that…." Paul's voice was soft as he could make it. He tried his best to understand and not become angry when she got like this. They of course weren't perfect and would both lose their tempers and argue at times like these.
"Sure ya didn't…." She muttered, hotly. "Oh….Where is my sanitary belt?!...Gosh darn it….Why am I asking you, anyway?! WHERE did I put it?!" Bert searched, angrily tearing her space of their bedroom apart where she kept things. "I'm either pregnant or going to be on the rag…..and you I both know its probably not the first one!" she cried and wiped her face and pushed back messy black hair away from her face in frustration as the tears came. "And sometimes I don't know if that's what I want anymore!" Hot tears escaped her large, lovely brown eyes and she cried, crumpled up in a ball on their bedroom floor. She cried as that familiar monthly backache and cramps started. "…I want a baby of our own too….but look at us! Now nothing's happening!...And look at me,….Paul, look at me, I'm laying on the floor bawling like a fool!" she pressed her face to the carpeted floor and Paul watched her crying a moment till he placed his hands on her back with the softest touch. "I should just give up!"
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry…" Paul whispered, his hand smoothed her back a moment.
"Why are you sorry?!" She bawled. "You're a man! Why do you care?!...I'm the one feeling crazy almost every other month, not you! All because my stupid bodily function can't-"
"When it does,….I know you can't help it…..I just feel bad for you…."
"You're a rare type of man….." she sniffled and hiccupped, feeling his arms caress her in a warm embrace.
"I feel bad for ya….For everything…I seriously think its not just your body's fault…."
"You're a strong, sexy, healthy 26 year old young man! You're ridiculous if you think you're the problem! Its obviously me…." She cried, rubbing her eyes and hot tears stung them still. "I swear its me!"
"Maybe my little soldiers don't march very good….just maybe they're shooting blanks too!"
"You're NOT funny…." She said sharply.
"Bert….I'm serious. I think I'm part of our problem….Maybe stress! Its not been easy on you. Moving so quickly… I was so stupid, honey….. We shouldn't have moved here….Its my fault, Baby….and I'm sorry what I've put you through."
"You're NOT stupid, Paul!" she barked angrily. And in an instant she was crying again.
"I think we should move back to-"
"No!...I love it here. I love Colorado!…..I'm NOT moving back to Dubuque. NO,…we're not! " she insisted. "We're NOT moving back to Waukon and we're NOT moving to Knoxville either!"
"Think on it for me….please….Maybe if we have a change of scenery, career…..maybe things would be different and things would go better." Paul whispered. He held her, sitting on their bedroom floor.
"But I love the ranch! The cattle….Everything!" She bawled . "I want to help you live your dream!"
"You have…." He whispered, gently rocking her back and forth on the floor. "You are an amazing, wonderful woman….and I love you very much….."
"Sometimes I hate being a woman!..." she bawled, crumpled on the floor in frustration, tears and pain from cramping. Her hand moved on the floor and felt something. "My sanitary belt….stupid thing!" she growled and let out more frustrated tears. She went into their bathroom and sure enough, it was her time of the month. Bert came back out of the bathroom, temporarily fixing her little annoyance and slumped onto the bed. Curled up, arms around her lower abdomen. Paul could tell she was in a little pain, as it was normal…but he hated seeing her uncomfortable or in pain. He always worried over her.
"Looks like this one's not as bad as the last one you had….." Paul said softly and rubbed her back. He was so scared, her last period. She had bled so much,…too much,….and so he had taken her to the hospital in Cheyanne Wells, Colorado. 4 minutes or so away from their little ranch in First View, Colorado.
"Yippee! I'm finally a normal woman!" she hissed sarcastically. Bert shut her eyes, laying there. Her cramps continually stabbing at her midsection. "Go….Leave me alone for awhile!" she snapped at him, crying again.
"Bert…."
"Just…go, damn you!…Just go….I don't care where…."
"I guess I'll be in the living room then….Bert, I hate seeing you like this….."
"Yeah, I bet you do!" She snapped at him, angrily. "Go away!…Shut up!….And leave me alone!" His wife kept crying, embarrassed at how she was acting. She hardly had control over her emotions and no control of her body and its natural functioning during this time which was supposed to be every month for her.
"You know where I'll be, I guess….If you want to come lie on the couch with me…." He told her. Paul saw her turn over with her back to him….He usually always tried to make her comfortable during her monthly visitor…..that is,…when…it visited. Bert shut her eyes, whimpering with the normal, womanly pain and she cried. She was much more emotional than usual with every period she experienced. Sometimes, she missed a period, usually thinking she was pregnant instead….but then of course, nothing. Missing periods made her crazy and then the true circumstance hurt and discouraged her worse when that little red frenemy actually showed up. She was ready to give up. Figuring what they wanted wouldn't ever come to them, obviously, with the way it was going lately.
She thought of adoption again. Bert didn't know what she wanted to do there. She thought they could adopt a baby, but then she didn't know if she really wanted to. It was a risky situation too. No matter what, it was risky!...She didn't want to try it, and her hopes and dreams become shattered in a new and different.
"I give up…" She bawled, sobs shaking her body. "I give up! I give up, I give up, I give up!" Bert lay there, crying, for hours, what seemed like forever, crying herself to sleep. There seemed to be no hope. No solution. She didn't know what to do! "I'm so stupid…thinking I of all people could ever be a mother! I'm so stupid. I hate the woman I've become…I hate myself!" The usually bold, confident woman tore herself down. A dark, rainy cloud of depression and sadness hung thickly over her. "I….give….up…." she moaned weakly and just lay there awhile. Her large brown eyes ran dry and she went into the living room where she thought her husband was. She sat down on the little couch alone and curled up in a crocheted blanket. Her large brown eyes later turned to the front door as it opened and Paul walked in.
"They didn't have any of your favorite, bronze chrysanthemums….so I got you one of these…." He said. It was one single Orange rose. "I'm sorry I was a jerk to you, Sweet…." He gave her the orange rose and also a box of chocolates, a Whitman's Sampler. "It was how I said it…I'm sorry, Beautiful."
"No you weren't! I'm the jerk!" Gilbertha snapped. "I've been a horrible wife to you lately and you know it….Its my fault."
"You can't help the way your body works…..I don't like having to see you suffer like you have." He whispered, wrapping an arm around her and his other hand lovingly stroked her elbow, her arm. "Something tells me I have a problem too…..I'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow." Paul told her. "Now listen to me…." He said, before she could get a word out. "I'm going, Bert…..It's time for it!…I should have gone a long time ago…." He sighed…."Baby,…If it is me, we'll figure this all out…..if it's not….we'll just have to keep trying. As long as we both want that…..And we'll keep the idea of adoption open….I just don't want to give up on us having our own baby….With God ALL things are possible."
"And what about moving?" Bert asked boldly. "Well?!"
"We'll talk about it another time together and make our decision…." Paul said and gave her a soft peck on the lips. "I was being selfish, Bert….and I wasn't really thinking of you when I had us move here….That was so wrong of me."
"Now you just shut up about that!" She said sternly. Bert was so feisty! "I meant what I said, Paul….I do love it here….now, that is. "
"We can always come back here…." He whispered, cuddling with her.
"I've built my home with you, my Dear." Gilbertha whispered. "I want to stay….but if we need to go…I'll go wherever you will go…" She felt him kiss her soft lips and his hand covered her lower abdomen. He just cuddled her, sitting on the couch. They did that sometimes during her time of the month. Paul hugged and cuddled her, whispered sweet things into her ear. He wanted to make things easier on her. His attitude towards a woman's period and mood swings and the like was one of the things that made her fall in love with him. Paul wasn't like some men who thought it to be a nuisance or gross….or that she was crazy, or being immature or deliberately picking fights with him. It was simply that she did not feel well. That she didn't feel like herself and that she was in pain. Paul's hope, though, was that her cycle was finally regulating itself and things would soon be better.
"C'mere, big Guy….share these chocolates with me…" Bert sniffled, shoving a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "I love you, Baby…" She sighed, breathing back tears, as she felt him wrap his arms around her, gently cuddling her. Her head rest against him and her soft lips gently brushed against the skin of his scruffy cheek and jawline. Paul felt her tears and his heart softened even more. He loved her so very much and only wanted to make her smile again and take her pain away for good.
"…weeping may endure for a time, but joy cometh in the morning…" Paul whispered, quoting a Bible verse from the book of Psalms. Paul was a man's man. Tall. Solid. Masculine. Strong. Tough. As a cattle rancher, his job required him to be so and to get his hands and himself dirty.…..but when it came to that woman he loved so dearly, he was sweet and caring, and romantic, soft and gentle. Always a gentleman.
"Your mother told me something like that once." She sighed. "All the tears you've cried, can't compare to the joy that's coming….."
Paul nodded, explaining it was from the Bible. Even though Bert was Catholic and religious, she rarely read or really studied the Bible. Paul did however, occasionally, that is. "Life won't always be like this…..it will get better, Honey…..We'll be parents someday…"
Gilbertha sighed, settling her head into his chest.
"We will…" he whispered, rubbing her back while they sat on their little velvet couch in the living room. Paul held her close and kissed the crook of her neck.
"Even if its through adopting a baby? Or a young child,…I don't care." She cried, taking a deep breath and let it go, feeling his comforting arms envelop her.
"I don't know, honey." He whispered, rubbing her arm. "It's a huge step….and….I don't know if I fully have peace about it….but I promise you. I will think and pray about it."
Paul was a Godly man. A praying man. He was making great changes in his walk with God lately….. And even though they were a part of different religions and went to different churches, Bert loved to hear him pray. She trusted her husband's spirituality. Bert knew there was something different when he would talk to God….like he really connected with Him.
"You're going to be alright, Dear…." Fred said softly, helping his sweet wife into the passenger's seat of his Model T Ford. "I hate seeing my beautiful Angel Bride so sick and in pain." The man kissed her feverish forehead and straightened the little blanket she wrapped herself in. It was chilly, very early one Autumn morning. Frances kept having a fever and chills. He was helping her into the car and would drive her to the hospital to find out just what was wrong.
"I'm pretty sure its my darn gallbladder again…" The short little lady winced at the pain in her side. "Fred, honey….your wife's a little old lady now!" she chuckled, her cheeks pink and her lively brown eyes momentarily sparkled as they always had, till her hand gripped the sharp pain in her side again.
"Will you pull over if I ask you to?" she winced.
"Yes Dear." He said softly and patted her hand as he drove. "Whatever you need me to do for you."
"I'm sorry, I feel so nauseous!"
"Don't worry, Hon'…" Fred stopped the little black car and parked for a few moments. He was worried for her. Fred sat there, his hand on her back as he witnessed how sick she was. Hands clutching her side, she sat there feeling like she had to vomit.
"Keep driving, Fred….I'll be just fine…." She assured him. And so he started the car up again and drove.
"You look so yellow, Dear…."
"Well its probably jaundice….I swear this is my gallbladder, Honey. My new diet hasn't helped me any apparently. I haven't lost a pound! Why do I try?!" Frances was so discouraged with her dieting. She'd lose a few pounds and gain it back. It went back and forth like that. She just wished she could just keep the weight off!
"I was going to say it's a beautiful yellow, my Dear…" He chuckled, trying to use a little humor to lighten the situation. "We're almost to Mercy. We'll get you fixed up soon enough….."
"I love you, Fred…." She sighed, feeling his strong hand curl around her chubby one.
"I love you, my beautiful wife…." He whispered, and kissed her hand. His lips stayed there as he kissed her hand again. He wouldn't let go.
"I'll be fine….don't worry over me. " she told him.
"I know you will, Franziska Catherine…." Fred answered softly but he kissed her hand again as he drove. He was still worried a little for her. He prayed silently to himself that it wasn't gall bladder cancer. That it was an easy fix and she would be ok. Soon they made it to the Mercy Hospital in Dubuque. He went around to the passenger side door to help her out and walked her across the parking lot, got her checked in and waited with her. The doctor came out later on and met him.
"She ok, Doc? It's not cancer….or is it?" Fred stood up.
"She'll be just fine….after surgery. Its not cancer. Just her gall bladder…..Best to have the surgery and remove it. It could turn into something life threatening if not treated….."
"Do it today…." He said solemnly, that stern, serious look on his face.
"We can….she might have to stay about a week in the hospital though….."
"Ok….Why are you standing here running your mouth with this old man?! You said my wife needs surgery, so get to it! If she's worried about the money, tell her I'll get it…" Fred said, in his stern way.
"Ok." The doctor said solemnly.
"Can I go see her, Doc?"
The Mercy Hospital Dubuque doctor nodded. "You're welcome to right now, if you'd like. Before we prep her for surgery."
Little Dale sat at the kitchen table that afternoon, talking up a storm with his mother. The little 4 year old was funny, energetic and quite loud at home. Helen had served him his little lunch, but he was too busy gabbing, than to eat his lard sandwich. Lard sandwiches he liked….but it was the ox tails and brains they sometimes ate that he hated. He would refuse to eat it till his father harshly got onto him for it.
"Eat your lunch, Dale…."
"Ok, Mama….Mama, I'm thirsty…..Mama, can I go play? Mama?...Mama? Mama, can I go play? Can I Mama?! Mama?!"
"What, Dale?!" Helen asked him sternly. He was getting on her nerves with all his questions and constantly hearing him say, "Mama!" Yet, her heart melted. That was her boy. Her baby!... She thought of having another child, but she knew it wasn't the right time. Food was scarce and times were hard for them…..plus she and Eddie hadn't discussed having more children. She thought when things got better she would bring it up to him….but for now she just enjoyed her son as an only child. She enjoyed watching him grow into this spunky little boy. Honey blond hair,….beautiful, beautiful brown eyes…..chubby cheeks. Chubby everything! He loved to eat and she made sure he did and that he had more than enough food to eat. Even if that meant going with less herself, which it usually did. She made sure her husband and son were well fed. She wanted to lose several pounds anyway, but it just wasn't happening. She hadn't felt good about how much her body had changed, how her weight stayed with her for the last few years. She never dared to ask Eddie but she had a feeling he didn't much care for it. She was too embarrassed anyway to talk to him about it. Her face was rounder and chubbier than it was when they met. And of course she hadn't had the trim figure she had since then either.
"Mama, I like it that you're squishy!….'Cause I like your nice hugs!" Her little boy told her.
"Ok, baby…." She couldn't help but chuckle and kissed his forehead. "Now finish your sandwich."
"Mama!"
"What Dale?!" she sighed.
"Can I go visit my Boop Boo? Oh, and Grandfather!...I wanna go see my Boop Boo, I like her hugs too."
"You can't go see your Boop Boo right now…."
"How come not?!...Mama, I have eyes, ya know."
"Honey…." Helen laughed a little. "We might go see them later today….Boop Boo is sick and in the hospital." She told her boy and her thoughts drifted to her mother. Helen made the Sign of the Cross and said a quick, quiet prayer over her.
"She needs a hug then!...Mama, can I- "
"Dale, eat your lunch! Now…."
"Yes Mama." He said taking big bites of his lard sandwich.
"And slow down when you eat!...Small bites…..Dale, slow down! You're-"
"Done!" He said, the four year old shoved the last big bite into his mouth. "See, Mama!?" He mumbled.
"Swallow that!...Not all at once! For goodness sakes, baby!" she shook her head, picking up his little plate. "Don't shove everything into your mouth like that….you'll choke…."
"I'm all done, Mama!" he mumbled with food in his mouth and swallowed real big and drank a big GULP of water in his metal cup. "Mama, can I go play outside?!".
"Yes, baby. Go play!" She said, turning her back as she began to wash the lunch dishes. "Wear your coat….and stay in our yard, baby!" She called as he was scrambling about and ran outside to play. She watched him through their little kitchen window. He was running around with their two dogs, Mickey Mouse and Roxy. Both girls. Mickey Mouse was a scruffy little terrier dog and Roxy was a Pomeranian German Shepherd mix. Both dogs adored the little guy! They loved to run around with Little Dale and were very protective of the boy. Helen grinned, watching him play with his doggies! She would often see him stoop down in the ground and play in the dirt, till she came outside.
"Dale, honey, don't be getting too dirty! It takes me a long time to get those mud and grass stains out!….Oh, Dale Frederick…." She sighed and frowned as she saw he hopped, knee first, right into puddle of muddy rain water.
"Mama, can you help me with my shoe button?!"
"Yes baby….." she sighed and buttoned his little shoe and straightened his little knickerbocker pants and little wool socks. He did not like his buttoned shoes, and he liked his wool socks, but his knickerbockers he did not like. He hated them.
"I don't like my pance." He told his mother, in his little serious way.
"What baby?"
"I DON'T LIKE my pance!" Dale said with his little grumpy face. "Mama, I want long pance!"
"What, baby?!" She looked at him with a furrowed brow, not quite understanding what he meant to say.
"I DON'T LIKE SHORT PANCE!" He shouted at her and whined, jumping up and down a little. "I HATE short pance!"
"Now you calm down and talk to me!" Helen said sternly, her brown eyes flashing and her eyebrows scrunched, just like her son's at this very moment! She saw herself in him in looks, but also her husband and his temper! "Now what are you trying to say?!"
"I don't like these! My pance! " he touched the fabric of his knickerbockers he was wearing.
"Oh, your knickerbocker PANTS….Honey…." Helen got down and hugged him, bringing him close to her and she kissed his forehead. "Mama likes them! Mama loves your short pants and think you look so cute!" she gave him more kisses and hugs. "Your knickerbockers look very nice!...You look very cute and handsome in them…Okay?"
Dale shook his head and still had a grumpy look on his little face.
"Well, I'm sorry, baby…." Helen hugged her little boy and gave him kisses on his cheeks and held him. "Someday maybe I can make you some long pants….but not right now. Mama and Dad say so,…I'm sorry." She knew they couldn't afford brand new pants right now. But she would try to save money so she could buy some material to make some long pants for him. For right now they had to make due with his outdated, secondhand clothes.
"Ok…." He said quietly.
"I love you, baby." Helen held him and kissed him on the cheek again. She felt the little bulging in his little coat pockets.
"Now what do you have in your pockets?!" she couldn't help but chuckle a little as he showed her his "treasures." Little pebbles and rocks and leaves and sticks he had picked up near the woody part of their property.
"I like picking rocks, Mama!...You want one, Mama?! You want one? It is real nice! Mama, you want one?!"
"Ok, ok! Give me one of your pretty pebbles then!"
"You pick, Mama! You pick…" He held out all his little rocks and pebbles he found. She picked one and he was so happy and proud she chose what he thought was the prettiest one!
"Honey, I think you've found an agate!...Isn't it so pretty?!...I'll keep it forever because YOU gave it to me, sweetie pie." she smiled at her son, who was beaming at her. She taught him all about the little rocks he found and soon let him go back to his playtime.
"Stay in our yard, Dale….I've watched you go over by the woods. Stay here and play." She said before heading back inside. Helen watched him from the little kitchen window while she finished the dishes and smiled as she watched him play with his dogs and run around and look for more pretty rocks and things. Soon she saw he had a little rope he had found and was playing with it and their two dogs. The little boy and Mickey Mouse and Roxy looked like they were all having great, silly fun! She loved hearing his loud giggles and squeals. Soon he ran inside the little brick house with the little rope.
"Mama, Mama, Mama!"
"Whata, Whata, Whata, Dale?" Helen giggled.
"I'm gonna go squirrel hunting, Mama!"….Helen just melted after seeing that big, excited grin of his!
"Oh, is that right?! Well, I hope you get something, Honey. " she chuckled and imagined him playing with sticks for his guns. "You need a gun for hunting, right?….Get a big ol' squirrel for Mama and we'll have a nice supper." She chuckled.
"Dad says he's gon' get me a gun when I'm 10! " The 4 year old said excitedly.
"How about when you're 12 or 13. You're too little to have a gun. Even at 10, I think, Honey."
"Dad has a gun!...Someday when I'm big, I'm gon' be just like Dad!" he nodded with a big grin and ran outside again. She kept her eyes on him as he played and saw how good he was being, so she put her focus on more of her housework for a short time before she would check on him again. That was her baby boy and she was protective of him….Perhaps overprotective. She was dreading the day he would turn 5 and start kindergarten! She feared he wouldn't adjust well and wouldn't want to leave her. And she knew she would just cry a river, seeing him go! Helen feared it would be much harder on her…but….he wouldn't turn 5 until the next summer on August 20th and the school year would start soon after that. They had a lot of time till then, so she tried not to think about it now.
"Mama wants a squirrel…." Dale said to himself. He looked up at the woods and looked at his little rope. "I can get a squirrel with my rope!" and so the little boy and his two little dogs, his bodyguards, ventured through their little garden. The cute yet naughty boy and his little dogs walked their way through the large Oak Tree Grove. They seemed to go on forever. Over a hill, and Dale would look back and see their little brick house. Over another, looking back. The house was still there and little Dale knew he was safe.
"Does it hurt as much as childbirth?"
"Fred, Honey….don't make me laugh!" Frances said with a chuckle. Holding her side, as the gall bladder pain was constant. "It's a different pain….but…If I've survived that more than once, I can survive this!"
"I wish I were in your place, then I could relate. "
"Honey I wouldn't wish this on you or anybody." Frances looked at him and his worried eyes. "…I'll be fine. They'll take good care of me…"
Fred nodded. "I'll go back home and get some of your things and be back before you go in for surgery." He planted a kiss on her lips and lovingly patted and rubbed her shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit."
The little curious boy and his two canine bodyguards travelled over several hills of forest trees. Dale looked back and could not see his little house anymore. The 4 year old wasn't the least bit afraid. He knew Mickey Mouse and Roxy would take care of him. They wandered for a long time. Of course, there was no sense of time with the boy. He didn't know how long has was away from his little home or what time it was….because….well, he couldn't even tell time yet! His mother soon found that her only child was gone! She searched the whole house and their property for him but of course she didn't find him. She ran down the road to check her parents' place and met her father outside. Now she was frantic and panicking!
"Papa,….I can't find Dale!" she cried and asked if he had seen him at all. "I don't know where he is!….I don't know where he would have gone off to!…..I've called Mickey and Roxy over and over and they haven't come either. That's not like them! They always come when they're called!...Papa, I've had nightmares about this and now its coming true!" She bawled. Fear gripped her whole body. "I'm a horrible, horrible mother!" Tears ran down her cheeks and she started to bawl again and her father hugged her. "Oh, Papa!...I've never let him out of my sight and the one time I do, this happens!"
"Little Girl, its alright…." Fred hugged her.
"No, its not, Papa!...He's lost!...Its my fault…I don't know where he is,…if he has his coat! It'll get dark soon!...Oh,…Papa!" she hugged her dad again and cried on his shoulder, barely able to speak. "What if something's happened to him?!...Papa, I just want my baby back!..." she sobbed.
"I'm going to head back up to the hospital to be with your mother….but before I do, we're going to go inside, call the police, a search party. We'll get it on the radio… It's going to be alright, we will find him, Helen…Everything is going to be fine."
Eddie then made it home from work on his bicycle. And rode over to them.
"Eddie Dear, Dale's gone-!" she bawled and he could barely understand her.
"Slow down, quit yer blubberin'! Helen, what in the Sam Hell do you mean gone?! He's with you 24/7!" Eddie stood there flustered and yelling and swearing at her.
"I…I …I took my eyes off him one minute!...I swear!….He was being so good, I didn't think he'd up and leave!" she bawled. Her father wrapped a strong arm around her.
"Gosh all fish hooks! For cryin' out loud, Helen!"
"Now hold it just a minute there, Boy!" Fred said very sternly to Eddie. "Ed, I like you and all….but you watch out how you talk to my daughter!...How dare you, Boy! After all she went through to give you that boy!...My wife gave me such beautiful children and I love her every day for it!...You should too with your wife, my little girl. Boy, I'll make you think twice before you yell like that again!…I let you two get married because of your situation…but I also saw how much you loved her! So don't stop loving her, Boy!…Tell her! Show her you love her! Don't act as you have….or you and me and my gun will take a little walk in the woods up there!"
"Oh, Papa!…" she bawled. Helen was a wreck and worrying more about her son. This was adding to it! She was crying, worried and stressed!
"I ain't gonna kill him, Girl…..Trying to talk some sense into him!"
Fred stared his stern eyes at his son-in-law, his hands on his hips and took one small step towards Eddie. "Now you quit your yelling….Its not her fault…so go get on that bicycle of yours and join the damn search party!..."
Eddie looked at his father-in-law, and straightened up. Then he got on his bike and rode off, joining the search party to look for his son. "Peru Road goes on a long ways, the boy could be anywhere!"' Eddie thought…. He did a lot of thinking on that ride. Although quite stern, he knew his father-in-law was very wise. And he was right. He needed to get his anger in check and be there for his wife in times like these. Eddie knew that that was what Fred had tried to explain to him.
Meanwhile, Frances was still up at the hospital undergoing anesthesia for her gall bladder surgery.
"One more dose and we can begin, Mrs. Lay."
Frances faintly heard the announcement on the radio. "LITTLE BOY LOST….SOMEWHERE ON PERU ROAD…..TWO DOGS WITH HIM…"
She hadn't heard the little boy's name, however, or any more information as she had gone under and they had begun the surgery to remove her gall bladder.
It had been hours since young Dale had started his first big adventure in the woods, at such a tender age. He had walked with his dogs through their garden, up through the large Oak Tree Grove, he made his way over the last big hill where he couldn't see the house any longer, and then he went a ways down a ravine, then up on a BIG bluff overlooking a place called Couler Valley. Dale looked around him. He looked at his faithful, furry bodyguards. "Mickey Mouse…..Roxy…..we're losted!" He said matter-of-factly. The little boy was fearless and saw a farmer making fence posts up ahead, so he and the dogs walked and walked and walked till he came up to the farmer.
"Mister...Mister!" Young Dale tugged on the farmer's coat a little and the man stopped what he was doing and looked at him. However, the farmer saw the two dogs first. They were watching the farmer like a couple of wolves, bearing their teeth, waiting to attack if he came close to the little boy.
"Mister….Sir….I'm losted….I live on Peru Road."
Unfortunately, the farmer was no help. He was fear stricken because of the dogs…..and only pointed to where Peru Road was. The little boy stared at the farmer and saw he wasn't going to help him any, and so he and the dogs trudged on their way. He was becoming very tired with his 4 to 6 hour walk in the woods, Dale looked around and saw he had lost his rope but slowly but surely, he kept trudging on bit by bit, in the direction where thought Peru Road and Home might be.
"Oh no!...Oh no." He whined to himself as it had began to rain and he got all wet. He looked up a moment at the raining darkened sky and the little tyke started to feel a little bit scared….but an animal's fluffy brown and black fur came closer to him. It was Roxy.
Dale petted his dog, sitting at a tree to try to get out of the rain. "I wanna go home….." He mumbled sadly. "Its raining, Roxy….What do we do?!" Roxy barked and little Dale saw his dog Mickey Mouse up ahead a little ways, waiting for them.
"You're right, Roxy….We gotta follow Mickey Mouse." And so again they began their walk again in the pouring rain. Roxy stuck by him the whole way, and Mickey Mouse lead them in their path.
"Uh oh….." He said to himself. "Roxy, I gotta go potty…." Dale said, looking in the woods for an outhouse. Of course, there wasn't one anywhere. "I won't tell Mama…." He said and walked behind a tree. His chubby fingers fumbled and fiddled with the tiny buttons on his knickerbocker pants. "No!..." he cried and started to cry a little bit. Not from fear, but because he couldn't get the buttons on his pants open and he wet himself. So now because of this and the rain, he was soaked. He sat there crying a moment but he wasn't scared….he just didn't want to be there anymore. "I wanna go home!" The dog took hold of his coat with her teeth and tugged a little.
"Mickey Mouse! Stop it!...I wanna go home….I want my Mama." Yet Mickey Mouse the dog kept tugging, and Roxy was barking.
"What?!" He snapped at them and looked up. A little ways away, there was a farmhouse in sight. It was the Larches' farm. They walked there up to the house and Mrs. Larches came outside in the rain in her dress and thick shawl.
"Its raining cats and dogs out here!...Would you like to come inside to get all warm and dry and have some nice milk and cookies?"
Little Dale nodded and Mrs. Larches grabbed his little hand and went inside. Mickey Mouse the dog ran in ahead of them. She showed her teeth at the lady and growled and barked, protecting the little boy with her life. Mickey Mouse ran under a cupboard and kept growling like a wolf.
"I'm not going to hurt the little darlin'!...What's your doggie's name?" she asked the little boy, still wearing his coat, now sitting by the little fire in the hearth.
"Mickey Mouse!" Dale grinned. "Roxy is my other dog…"
"Oh, I see….Where is Roxy?"
Dale looked around and shrugged. "I don't know…but she'll be ok! She's a good dog!"
Mrs. Larches smiled at the boy. "And what is your name?"
"Dale Walbrun…..I live on Peru Road." He nodded.
"Well, Dale….lets take off your coat and you can stay awhile have some milk and cookies!" she smiled and took off his little coat and put it by the fire to dry, and she noticed what was in his pockets. "You have pretty pebbles in your pocket!" she smiled.
Dale grinned and nodded at her, taking a big bite of his chocolate chip cookie. "I'm a rock picker!" he said. To which the lady of the house smiled.
"So you're the Walbrun boy?" she asked him awhile later after he had finished his milk and cookies and she talked with him.
"Yup! Brun it, don't Burn it!" the little boy stated, which made Mrs. Larches laugh! She thought he was a delightful boy. She asked him who his parents names were and then called and notified police that he was there in her home.
During this time, the little Pomeranian German Shepherd dog ran all the way home to Peru Road before the family even got the call! She ran straight to Helen and started tugging on her dress, wanting them to follow her.
"Stop it, Roxy!...Down!...Down, Roxy!" Helen was fretting and crying. "You stupid dog, I said get down, damn you!" She yelled in tears at the dog, who was only wanting to help them. "Get out of here!" she yelled, wringing her hands in fear and frustration and she couldn't stop crying. They heard the phone ring and Fred had answered it. Talked a short time, and he hung up the phone quickly.
"Sweet Pea, they found him…." Fred looked at her. "He's at the Larches farm…..Their hired hand Miscadem said he'd give you a ride out…"
"Oh wonderful!" she nearly bawled. "You don't mind, Papa?!" she cried, hugging him.
"Its fine….You go get your boy." He smiled and kissed his grown daughter's forehead. "Meet us up at the hospital, if you can. I need to go be with your mother, she'll be waking up from her surgery."
"Oh, how is she, Papa?!...I forgot about Ma!" Helen cried, but Fred wiped her tears away.
"She'll be fine…" Fred smiled, as he saw a car pull up outside the Lay's residence. "Now go." He said softly. "Miscadem's here….go get your boy."
"Papa, I love you…." Helen smiled, tears still in her eyes and she hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'll ask Mr. Miscadam if he can drop us off….." She told him and then put on her coat and ran out the door.
Eddie, defeated and soaking wet from the rain, came in the front door and the search party had departed after never finding the little boy and his two protective canines. "Its hopeless….." He said dejectedly and ran his hands over his face and his dripping wet, coal black, slicked back hair. "He's gone…My son's gone!" Tears seeped out of his brown eyes and he just sat there with his head in his hands.
"He's up at Larches….." Fred spoke up. "Wandered over there. He's ok….."
Eddie looked over at his father-in-law and toughened up and wiped his eyes and face and let out a breath.
"So you're not a heartless Arschloch…." Fred exclaimed and spoke in German. A language he and Eddie both knew. "Prove that to me and treat my Girl and my Grandson right from now on…" Fred said in his stern way and looked at him in his stern, serious way.
Eddie nodded, sighing and wiping his eyes till Fred told him to get his coat back on and they'd head to the hospital to wait for them. "Helen said she'd try to meet us there…."
And so the little "world traveler" was reunited with his mother. He slept peacefully in his mother's lap in the front of the truck, with little Mickey Mouse in the back. So the little heroine dog got a ride home too. Before they departed, Helen graciously thanked Mrs. Larches for everything she did. The older woman just smiled and told her if she ever needed a babysitter to give her a call.
And so they left Larches farm in mostly silence till Helen thought out loud a moment. "Scared me to pieces…" she whispered softly and kissed her baby boy's chubby little cheek. The little one stirred a moment and his brown eyes fluttered a quick second and he drifted back to sleep.
"Kids'll do that!" Mr. Miscadem chuckled. "First time he's took off on ya?"
"Yes….and after this I'm watching him like a hawk!" Helen gazed down at her son. "…Thank you, Mr. Miscadem…."
"You're welcome ma'am…." He replied. "I'll wait with your dog….and be happy to give you all a lift home." He said, as he pulled up at the Mercy Hospital.
"Thank you…" she smiled. "We won't stay long…I just want to make sure my mother is alright."
"No need to explain." The man smiled. "Take your time."
Helen found her mother's hospital room and went in with little Dale. Eddie came right to them and wrapped both of them up in his arms.
"Is Ma alright?!" Helen's worried eyes stared into her husband's.
"She's fine…..Babe, I'm sorry how I was with you…." Eddie's husky voice breathed out and he roughly kissed her. "And….I'm glad our boy's ok….." Eddie whispered and his fingers ran through his son's honey blond hair. "He gave us quite a scare….." He huskily whispered, with his son now in his arms. "Love you, Babe…." He whispered and his lips found hers. The three of them together again.
"So my Boopsie was the little lost boy….." They looked over at Frances as she tried to sit up a little. "Let my little grandson come in my hospital bed and cuddle, please…..Hi Boopsie." Frances smiled softly as she had turned her head and there was her Grandson. Already crying.
"Granny's alright…." She smiled at him. "Boop Boo's just fine, Boopsie….." Frances smiled as he hugged her. "Now what was I going to do if I'd never see my little Boopsie ever again?"
Dale's big brown eyes teared up and he couldn't keep the tears from falling. "I don't know!...I'd be real sad!….I love my Boop Boo!" His eyes got puffy and his little nose ran and his little fist wiped his tears. He was trying to be a big boy. "I love my Boop Boo!" his tears streamed his face and he hugged her neck tightly.
"And I love my Boopsie." She whispered, patting his little back. They had such a close relationship as Grandma and Grandson and it already showed. They adored each other. "No more running off on your Mama and Dad…..Do you promise Boop Boo that?" she asked softly.
"Uh huh!..." He hiccupped and tears welled up and spilled over again. "I love my Boop Boo!" He said again and a fist wiped his eye and he tried to calm himself down. He wanted his Boop Boo to see he was a big boy now.
"My sweet little Boopsie. " Frances smiled at him and wiped his tears and feathered through his honey blond hair.
Some good did come to Walbrun family and their grown, married children in December of 1939. When daughter Rosa married Adriel Randall. They were married December 27th, 1939 in the rectory of the church of the Nativity…..the same place where Gilbertha had married Paul. She and Paul had made the trip to attend her sister's wedding. Rosa had been her older sister's bridesmaid in Bert's wedding, but Bert was not chosen as Rosa's Matron of Honor. Adriel's sister Hilda, Mrs. Clem Hootz was her Matron of Honor.
"I'm not upset, Paul." Bert said quietly to her husband. They were outside the rectory of the Church of the Nativity, where the priest lived. They were waiting for the rest of the family and wedding party to all get there. "Hilda's my friend too….and Rosa has gotten close to her lately. It just would have been nice to have been her bridesmaid…..since she was mine for our wedding." Bert brought her arms around herself closer. It was quite a chilled day in December….but a lovely day for a wedding. Paul brought his coat around her shoulders.
"You're not cold?!...You're never cold, its ridiculous!" Bert laughed and nuzzled closer to him.
"I guess I'm like your brothers, hot blooded." He joked. "There's Johnnie now….of course, with no coat." Paul chuckled as Bert's teenaged brother made his way over to them.
"Long time no see, baby brother." Bert smiled, hugging her youngest sibling. "Johnnie….I love you, kid."
"I love you too, but enough with the mushy stuff. " Johnnie laughed. "Hey, Adriel wanted you to give this to Rosa for him." Johnnie brought the most beautiful crystal Rosary out of his suit coat pocket. The Groom's gift to the Bride. "Go in now with Dad. I'm getting into my place before Ma comes after me." Johnnie chuckled.
"Oh, she is going to love this. That Adriel's a keeper, I swear." Bert smiled. "What a man."
"He's not the only one…." Paul grinned.
"Yes Honey, you're a wonderful man!" Bert smiled and gave him a peck on the lips. "Always the romantic."
"This place brings back sweet memories for us." Paul smiled up at the church rectory, laying a hand on his wife's back. The rectory of the Church of the Nativity, the same place Bert and Paul were married in years before.
Bert found Rosa in a room inside the rectory, while Paul found a spot in the little room where the wedding would take place. The bridesmaid was there, dressed in fuchsia velvet with her bouquet of lovely Talisman roses. Eddie, the bride's brother, was the Best man, standing proudly beside the groom.
"Your husband-to-be has a gift for you…." Bert smiled brightly as she saw her sister, in such loveliness. The white satin princess style 1939 wedding dress, the finger tip length veil, the Calla Lily bouquet….now made complete with the beautiful crystal Rosary. "You're beautiful…." Bert teared up at the sight of her little sister as she hugged her. "I'm proud of you."
"I love you, Bert!" Rosa felt tears slipping down her cheeks, and she took out her hanky to catch them. "Thank you…." She said softly. "You were right…This is the happiest day of my life! I'm so happy!"
"I'm so happy you're so happy!" Bert smiled, tears streaming her cheeks. "I think you're the most beautiful bride I have ever seen!" Bert smiled hugging her sister, she was overjoyed for her.
"Adriel and I are going to honeymoon in Mexico! Mexico!" She smiled widely. "I can hardly believe it." Rosa blushed. They saw their Dad, John H. Walbrun come in to give the bride away. He hugged both of his daughters on this special day. Telling the bride she looked Most Beautiful. And hugged his older daughter and whispered, of course, in German to her, "I wanted to do this with you as well on your Special day. I'm most sorry."
"You were there in spirit." Bert smiled, hugging her daddy. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and made her way to the other room. At 9am that Tuesday morning, the wedding was conducted by the Rev. Loras Lane.
After the wedding was performed, Rosa had her new husband take a picture of her with all of her family.
"Let's get this over with and get to the shindig already…" Eddie said, standing in his fur coat.
"I agree with Eddie, can we just take the picture? Adriel what's taking you so long?...Mother, what's the matter?" Bert commented with an impatient look on her face.
"I not like this….this new thing. What do it do?! It blind me?!" The German lady appeared to be made nervous by the camera. "Kinder und ihre neuen Dinge!"
"It's alright Mother, smile!...Lächeln!" Rosa whispered in German, placing a loving hand on her mother's shoulder.
"Ok! Now for my favorite part!" Johnnie exclaimed, chuckling and rubbing his palms together. "The food!" The teenaged boy grinned. "Father, Son and Holy Ghost! They that eats the fastest gets the most!"
They and 23 guests celebrated a wedding breakfast at the Kretz Cafeteria. The table decorations entirely in white. It was a beautiful wedding and a beautiful reception…. And after breakfast the newly wedded couple departed on their wedding trip to Mexico. The Bride had changed into a lovely navy print crepe dress with matching navy accessories to travel in.
"Sweet….you alright in there?!" Paul's knuckles rapped on the door she was behind one morning, months after Bert's sister's wedding, in 1940. Paul stood there by the door post, worried. "Bert, are you alright in there?" and he could hear her, as sick as could be. "Honey, its never been this bad before…..." He waited there, but heard she was too sick to reply. Soon he heard water running in the sink. The squeak of the faucet as it was turned off. He heard her slow footsteps. Some moments later, the door opened. There she stood, looking pretty miserable, sick and tired.
"At least we know when I'm sicker than a dog….that it's a good pregnancy." Bert wrapped her arms around her husband and pressed her forehead to his and rested hers upon it.
"Do you want me to get the doctor?"
"No.…." Bert whispered. "I'm fine waiting for him."
"You go lie down, Baby. That's what the cot is for…" Paul told her. He breathed a huge sigh. "…We're going to have this baby….." He whispered.
"We are…." Bert smiled in his embrace and felt her husband kiss her forehead. "For the first time….I'm not worried….."
"I'm not afraid….but I am a little worried. I don't think you should be this sick. I'm worried for you….Is this really normal?" Paul whispered. "Bert, I can't help it."
"I know…." She smiled, gazing down at her husband. Bert smiled and ran her fingers through his short brown hair as that 6 foot tall man bent down on his knees, resting his head on her middle, lovingly pulled her closer and gently kissed her there, his eyes brimming with tears. "I love both of you so much…." He whispered and kissed her, gently laying a hand there. Paul wondered if there was a certain roundness of her midsection already. He hoped and prayed they were ok. Paul prayed right there. "I love you…." He whispered, rising to his feet and gazed at her before he pressed his lips to hers.
" Paul, Honey….the Baby and I are fine. We are going to be fine." She calmed his worry and her lips mingled with his.
"The three of us…." Paul whispered, holding her closer. It was dawning on him he was going to be a father. Finally, after all these years of trying,…the miscarriages. They had been shocked this time when they had found out they were expecting, not long ago. They, especially Bert, had thought it just wasn't going to happen again. But it did. They would take it as it came, but Paul was praying they would have this baby. That everything would go well. The doctor came in. It was their appointment to hear the heartbeat….for the very first time. It would be the first time for either of them to actually hear their baby's heartbeat. Bert rested back with Paul by her side as the doctor brought out his instrument and searched for the little heartbeat.
"A very strong heartbeat….one…two?...No, just one strong , good heartbeat, if I'm correct." The doctor smiled a little. "Very good…."
"That's the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard in my life!…." Bert felt the tears come to brown eyes and she closed them and her hands placed on her lips as she sat there, silent, listening. "Oh Paul!" she let the tears escape and wiped them away and she turned her head and found Paul's face. "Paul!" she smiled, crying a little as her lips found his. "Listen, Honey!..." She cried, looking at him. 'Our Baby' she mouthed those beautiful words to her husband. His face solemn, his eyes tearing up, his hand holding hers and he bent down and kissed her.
The doctor let him listen a moment with the stethoscope. The stoic young man gazed into the distance, just listening. Paul swallowed a little as the realization hit him. That was his child!... He thought the little rhythm was amazing and beautiful, as he silently listened. Paul quietly gave the stethoscope back to the doctor and looked at his wife. He swallowed again and smiled a little, locking eyes with her. Gilbertha saw a glassiness to his hazel eyes as they had tears in them.
'Our Baby!' she mouthed again, with tears of joy slipping down her cheeks. "Paul, our baby..." she whispered, with glassy eyes from joyful tears.
The next day she was sick again, of course. "Do you need to call in to work sick again?" Paul asked. They finally both agreed and had sold the cattle ranch to a friend and had moved back home to Dubuque, living in a house at 135 Freemont Street. Paul had gotten a job as a millworker for the Carr, Adams and Collier Company. Bert had insisted on working as well and had taken a job as a saleswoman for Neisner Brothers, a Department store. They both agreed though, whether or not if the baby came and grew older,….they would move back to Colorado and begin the cattle ranch again. They both wanted to be ranchers again at some point.
"You should quit your job and stay home from now on…."
"No, Paul! I told you I want to work as long as I can!" She told him. "I've only been there a few months, I can't just quit. I can still do the work."
"Honey, I know you can…."
"Then what's the problem?!...I wanted this job! I'm the one who got this job…. I can still work, so that's exactly what I'm going to do!" she insisted. "Besides, I'm only working 4 hours a day. That's nothing!...Women who are expecting aren't these fragile little creatures!…."
"I want to take care of you….and our baby." Paul said, as he put his arms around her and wrapped her up in a sweet embrace. "You have to tell them you're expecting sooner or later…."
"They'll get the idea if I start showing! I want to work up until then….Please, Paul."
"When, Honey…'When.'…..Gilbertha….We're going to have this baby."
"Don't you "Gilbertha" me!" she smiled and kissed him quickly. "Paul Ivor, I love you…. But, I'm going to be late…." Bert grabbed her purse and kissed him goodbye on her way out the door.
"That stubborn woman…." He sighed. But oh, how he loved her. Love covers a multitude of sins. Even stubbornness. He prayed for her though, that she would do the right thing and take care of herself. Paul grabbed his toolbox and headed out the door in his blue work coveralls and went to work himself at the Carr, Adams and Collier company. He was surely kept busy making doors and windows, what they were known for. The company even made items for the White House. Paul was happy to have a good steady job like this so he could save money for their coming arrival. He had been reading medical books on pregnancy. Comparing the similarities and differences in that of what he had learned of cattle as a cattle rancher….but also to know what Bert was going through, and what she would soon experience in the coming months. She had never been very pregnant, so he didn't really know what to expect, so he took it upon himself to learn and study. He hadn't done so in years past. He hadn't really known all what Bert had experienced through her miscarriages. He prayed this was a fresh start for them both and he would be better informed this time.
Paul made his way home for lunch that day. That morning and afternoon, the factory had been so busy, he was glad to have a little break. He came through the front door and set his toolbox down in its usual spot. Paul, dressed in his blue work uniform, made his way into the kitchen, following his nose. Gilbertha was home and was cooking their lunch.
"Pork roast again?" He asked. "We had that for supper last night…."
"Using the leftovers…..Open faced sandwich ok? With sauerkraut? Mashed potatoes and gravy….." Bert replied and then looked at her husband and sighed. "Well….I quit my job today. Like you wanted." She sighed.
"Bert, I…."
"You're right though…" Bert said softly. "I need to take care of myself…..and this pregnancy…."
Paul moved closer to her and his lips parted. "Bert….I….I was thinking…..you could work as long as you wanted…I have no right to demand…."
"Paul…." She whispered. "I quit. I thought a lot today and you're right…..I have that Walbrun stubbornness. You're my husband and its your job to take care of me….I'm your wife and I need to let you do that…."
"Gilbertha…."
"I said don't "Gilbertha " me…." She gave him a peck on the lips. "I need to be a good wife…Keep a clean home. Cook your favorite meals….Give you a lot of love and affection."
"You do those things…." He looked at her and planted a kiss on her forehead.
"I need you to be my main focus….and the baby too…." Bert told him…. "I'm sorry I was short with you this morning…." She whispered, hugging him. "I'm such a stubborn woman….I'm sorry, Sweetheart."
"The baby needs to be your main focus…." He whispered and held her closer.
"Ok…." She sighed. "I've set up another appointment…."
"I'll be there…"
Author's Notes:
A lot of content in this chapter. I just kept writing. Lol.
I don't know how or when Paul met Gilbertha or how their courtship went. Although it could have happened similar to my writing. From what I have read about her, "Aunt Bert" was a bold woman! Great grandma Helen wrote about her, "I saw Bertha downtown today, my can your sister ever tease a fellow!" Great grandpa Eddie had written, "I hope you're (Helen) not like my sister Bert, that would crush me." I thought, "Geez Bert, what did you do?! Lol."…And she was also older than him. Bert was born in 1910 and papers on the list Paul's birth year as 1915…..I thought it was 1913.
Its very different to hear of a man losing his virginity to a woman, but it does happen….I read online that usually the men are VERY inexperienced and VERY nervous, not knowing what to do exactly. ….. articles on website I found said Paul was 6 foot tall.
My Grandpa Dale wrote about his first adventure in the woods, accurately depicted in this chapter. Great Great Grandma Frances did have some sort of surgery when it happened, she heard it on the radio, but did not know that it was her Grandson that was lost. The event may have made the newspaper in those days, but I cannot find anything on it.
Paul and Gilbertha did live in Dubuque in the 1940s. A 1941 city directory lists her working as a saleswoman for Neisner Brothers, and Paul a millworker for the Carr, Adams, and Collier Company. She later worked as a clerk for Merlin Apel, who owned a grocery store, which was a short walk from where they were living. Paul later worked as a woodworker for Carr, Adams, and Collier. Later known as CARADCO. He later worked as a Military Policeman during WW2. They lived at different addresses in Dubuque, 135 Freemont Street, 1165 Cleveland Avenue, 1298 Cleveland Avenue and 3160 Brunswick Street.
My Grandpa Dale had a little "talk" with my dad, just like Fred and Eddie in this chapter. My dad was laid off from work and would not find a job. I remember my Grandpa chewing my dad up one side and down the other, and said something like, "My wife had 5 kids and I love her every day for it! Your wife, (his daughter) she had 8! 5 in Heaven, 3 on Earth! You should be proud of her!"….and for him to get off his *** and get a job again and provide for his family!
Walbrun's have a very stubborn attitude, fiery anger at times. They tell it like it is and don't care what you think. Lol.
"Brun it, don't Burn it" is something a family member came up with because people usually think the last name is Walburn instead of Walbrun.
I used inspiration from my Grandpa Dale as an adult for his character as a child. He loved finding agates, walking the woods etc. He wrote 'pants' as 'pance .'
I work at a nursing home. For lunch recently, they had an open faced roast beef sandwich. It was really tasty, but perhaps a bit weird. The slice of bread, with the thick slice of roast beef and gravy, and mashed potatoes and gravy on top of that. I ate the mashed potatoes and gravy first….then the meat and bread and gravy together. I wonder if it would be good with pork roast too?
Rosa married several times. Her husbands' names were, Adriel Randall (their wedding info accurately depicted in this chapter) , Ted Bowman (yes, the one mentioned in this chapter), Marvin Frere, and Alexander Natale.
