"Hagrid, wait up!"

The towering man turned at the sound of the voice. "Harry!" he exclaimed in happiness; that is, until he noticed who was following about two metres behind the boy.

"Eh," he frowned in Draco's direction, "come to see me? I've got the kettle on in me cottage, and jest last night I baked a batch o' rock cakes."

"Thanks for the offer, but no." The Weasley twins, while not his bosom buddies by any means, were not exactly quiet while discussing matters in the common room; apparently Hagrid's rock cakes were well named. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Well, spit it out," he grinned, "but c'mere," he placed a massive hand on his shoulders and towed him away, "let's go to where we'll be a little more private."

Harry nimbly ducked out of reach and asserted firmly, "I'd rather do it out here." Crossing his fingers for luck, he began, "I understand that you love magical creatures."

The bearded gamekeeper boomed out, "Well, fer sure that's no secret. I take good care o' the forest so they can all feel safe." He winked, not a bit unobtrusively. "Lemme know when ye want to impress a lady, and I'll see if I can round up a unicorn. That'll do the trick!"

"I'm sure," the boy muttered, rolling his eyes.

"O'course, what I'd really like is a dragon, but them darned import regulations… Well," his face fell, "even without those, I wouldn' be able to afford one."

Trying desperately to steer the conversation in the proper direction, Harry asked, "So then you'd be against anyone who mistreats an animal?"

"Why, o'course I would!" he declared loudly then scowled at Draco. "Has that Slytherin done somethin' I should know of? I may not be a perfessor, but I can sure drag 'im to one!"

"I'm talking about the Cerberus on the third floor!" he almost shouted.

With a guilty expression, Hagrid asked, "What Cerberus?"

"Don't try to pull that one. You've been seen going up there with a bag of meat, presumably its–or their–dinner."

"Well, Fluffy's gotta eat, don't he?"

Draco shook his head and decided to give Harry some support. "That creature is over four metres tall and chained in a room so small that he can barely turn around. How is the lack of fresh air and no space to move not a wicked way to treat him?"

"Why, Perfessor Dumbledore asked me to put him there, and I'm sure he's seen to it that Fluffy stays comfortable. Great man, Albus Dumbledore. Besides, he's needed to guard the–" He broke off. "Anyways, that's none of yer business."

"It's everyone's business to try to correct wrongs in this world," Harry snapped. "Of course, a fucking bastard who kidnapped an orphaned baby from their home while his parents' bodies were still warm–"

Draco stopped him with a hand on a shoulder, glaring at the giant. "We're friends with someone who is, at this very moment, researching wizarding laws on cruelty to animals. If she had her way, you'd already be travelling to Azkaban on a one-way ticket."

The man paled. "That's a terrible thing to say! That prison is an awful place!" His brows drew together. "'Course, if things went the way they shoulda, you'd know that, havin' to visit that nasty deatheater of a father there."

Draco's eyes glinted. "Keep my father out of this."

"Harry," he turned, "what're you doin' hangin' around with scum such as Malfoy? His folks're terrible people. They're the ones what sent yer folks into hidin'." He whispered at a volume that might have been heard in Gryffindor tower, "They're muggle-haters, all of 'em."

"Oh, yes," Draco drawled. "Lucius Malfoy hates muggles so much that he has invested money in over a dozen muggle companies, and a muggleborn witch and her family were his guests at last year's Yule ball. He proposed a bill to foster muggleborns whose families disowned them because they had magic. A bill which was blocked by–who was it, Harry?–oh, yes, that 'great man' Albus Dumbledore. When that failed, he tried to reinstate classes on wizarding culture for first generation wizards. And who put the kibosh on that? The self-same Albus Middle-Name-Obstructive Dumbledore. At least my father doesn't try to entice a dark lord with Nicholas Flamel's philosopher's stone."

"Hey!" Hagrid's eyes showed panic. "Who told yeh what Fluffy was guardin'?"

"You did," Harry stated. "It was only a hypothesis until now. And it is infinitely more immoral to do so in a castle full of children. I'm beginning to think that Voldemort is not the only dark lord spawned by Hogwarts."

"Oy! Yeh can't say that about Dumbledore. He's a great man, he is!"

"Come on, Harry," Draco tugged on him, "we might as well talk to that tree stump over there."

"Yeah," Harry sent Hagrid a dark look, "let's go ahead and unleash Hermione."


"I can't believe that he wouldn't listen to you." Neville's tone displayed disappointment. "He has such a reputation as a gentle and simple soul. It's shameful that the headmaster would use his naivete to endanger students."

"The proof is in the pudding." Hermione raised her head from her frantic note-taking to comment. The boys almost expected smoke to arise from the parchment, she was so angry.

"Honestly, Nev, take off your rose-coloured glasses. Besides, the only student I believe Dumbledore wants to coax to his little obstacle course is Harry."

"Huh?" Harry, who had been tossing a practice stitch in the air to calm his ire, turned to Draco, and the golden ball bounced off his head.

"Everytime the old fart–"

"Language."

"–does his third floor speech, he's always looking in Gryffindor's direction." He gave a short laugh. "A pretty pitiful way to get around Steadman."

Harry, rubbing the sore spot caused by the stitch's collision, replied sullenly, "You know I pay as little direct attention to him as possible."

Ending her writing with a flourish, Hermione turned. "And that is driving him absolutely batty."

"Not that he had far to go, what with 'Nitwick! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!'," Neville snickered.

"And yet he still holds three–three!–positions of power in the wizarding world. Absolute power corrupts absolutely," she intoned.

"Did you keep that in mind," Draco asked, "in your literary tirade? If you hold that opinion, Hagrid should not bear all of the blame for Fluffy." He shook his head. "He named a bloody Cerberus 'Fluffy'."

"And would like to own a dragon," Harry snorted. "He lives in a wooden house. What a shite-for-brains plonker."

Hermione shook her head at the thought of the inferno which would befall the man if his wish was granted. "Then how much responsibility should the rest of the staff hold for their participation in the other 'challenges'?"

"They were just following Dumbledore's orders," Neville pointed out.

"Which made such an effective defence at the Nuremberg trials," she shot back.

"They weren't that dangerous," Harry said contemplatively, "except maybe for the troll."

"Everything else could be handled either by paying attention in class or having a logical mind."

"Besides the chess," Neville put in. "Say, Harry, Weasley's always going on about how great he is. Could that test have been aimed at him, seeing as you're both in the same house?"

He scoffed, "He might have been able to get across the board. Last time I had to play down to avoid trouncing him in five moves."

"The red-headed bottomless pit doesn't take defeat very well?" Draco snickered.

"Back to the topic," Hermione ordered.

After a few minutes of consideration, they agreed that most of the challenges would not be beyond the ability of the upper years. "But they are probably the least likely to be attracted to them, as they are concentrating on OWLs and NEWTs."

Harry agreed with Hermione's assessment. "So we need to protect the younger students who discover Fluffy and keep them from continuing on if they figure him out."

"Let's talk to Steadman this weekend. It's the last session of the semester, and surely we can think of something before school starts back up. And boys, don't think I didn't notice your potty mouths."


"Peeves, I know that this is where you hide out. Show yourself!"

"Who are you to make such a demand? Peeves should smite you where you stand!"

Hermione shook a bold finger at the poltergeist. "You shall do no such thing."

"Look at you, being brave. Fear ye not Peeves the knave?"

"You have not always been so, Peeves. Your antics have become–shall we say?–unamusing."

A pout appeared on the misshapen face of the spirit. "All study and work leave students bored. 'Tis fun and laughter that Peeves works toward."

"And yet everything you try leaves people fearing and cursing you. Is that what you truly desire?"

The being cackled and appeared to be preparing to charge the young witch, but stopped abruptly when she spoke to him once more.

"The great-great-great–however many greats–grandniece of your queen is highly disappointed in you, Sir Jester."

The spectral mouth opened and closed several times before emitting a sound. "Mistress knows who Peeves be? No one has for many a century!"

"You miss Her Majesty, don't you?" At the ghostly nod, she pulled a vial from her robe's inner pocket. "She would want your most beloved occupation to receive the accolades it deserves. I present you a gift from the current ruler of the British realm."

"Thee would not send poor Peeves away? For mercy's sake, do not, I pray!"

"Nonsense! You belong here for as long as you wish. However, I believe that you will enjoy this." She unstoppered the jar and used her wand to levitate a sparkling purple blob which quivered as it was suspended in mid-air. "Happy early Yule, Peeves," she said as she flung it towards him with a depulso.

His initial screech upon it coming in contact with his ectoplasm echoed through the corridor. The volume decreased as the substance was absorbed into his being. His eyes crossed, and he gave a great belch before initiating a series of mid-air somersaults; disturbingly, in Hermione's mind, these acrobatics took no heed of walls, so she was forced to guess the direction from which he would appear periodically.

Finally he floated up through the floor with a beatific expression and gave her the closest thing to a hug that an incorporeal being could manage. He then spiralled his way down the hall singing, "Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee!"

"Okay," Hermione murmured, wide-eyed, "that was a stranger reaction than I expected."


Harry and Draco, finally free of their duties in the receiving line, joined Neville and Hermione in the Malfoy ballroom. As the two had just completed a dance, they were temporarily separated from the other members of the younger generation.

"Did Steadman send you two an owl also?" Neville asked. At their nods, he added, "So, since he is in agreement that the headmaster will do nothing, I suppose we'll implement the plan. He says he can hand us the items at Hogsmeade Station."

Hermione fretted, "I am highly displeased that I have heard back from neither the Department of Magical Law Enforcement nor the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Do these bureaucrats not care about the torture of a living being to satisfy one man's whim?"

Draco cleared his throat. "Despite the advances these past few years, wizards are still human-centric in their beliefs."

"And we can't put it beyond Dumbledore to have waved off their concerns as Chief Warlock." Harry scowled at the thought. "Considering that he used Professor McGonagall to convey his displeasure at the fact that I was spending the holiday with Draco."

"Hey, at least she served you biscuits and apologized for the presumption." Neville laughed, "If the man only knew that his trusted deputy was combining malicious compliance with passive resistance."

Daphne appeared on Draco's right and drew her arm through his. "Is the Golden Quartet segregating itself from the rest of the company?"

He groaned at the students' nickname for them. "No, Harry and I just finished our bowing and hand-shaking. May I escort you to the refreshment table? After all that, I'm parched."

"I suppose that's my cue to mingle some more." Neville stepped away in search of either Hannah or Susan.

"Have mercy on me, Hermione?" Harry asked with a crooked grin.

"It would be my pleasure." She glared across the room. "At least I know my toes will be undamaged, unlike when I partnered with Adrian Pucey!"