Chapter 38- Past and Present.

Jazmine's POV.

"You have reached the mailbox of…" I groan. I've called Huey a ton of times and he still won't answer. It has basically been almost a week. I'm more than worried now. I'm borderline set on kicking down his door. But I have to respect that he probably just wants space after his incident with the police. At least that's what everyone has been telling me.

"Please leave a message at the tone." BEEP. " Hey Huey, it's Jazmine erm again. I just want to know if you're okay please call me back. Bye."

I sigh, the only thing I could do right now was pray that he is okay. I just want him to know that he's not alone, he doesn't have to deal with his traumatic experience by himself. I'll be there for him if he needs me. Always.

"Everything good?" Logan questions me as I walk out the bathroom.

"Yup." I respond. I can't let him know I was calling Huey. I snuggle up to him on the couch.

"What are we watching?"

"The Great Gatsby." He answers.

"Again?"

"It's a classic." I couldn't put my finger on it before but I know now that we have nothing in common. It's just that Logan is just so dull, nothing is exciting about him.

While watching the movie, well more of just staring at the screen and not knowing what the hell is happening. I start to think, traveling back to… that night. I will take the blame for everything well except I want to tell off whoever called the cops. I can't shake off the fact that the cop said a person intentionally called in and complained. It could have really been two people who could have been arguing around the corner or something. But shouldn't he have known that? Hmm something isn't adding up. Who else knew we were there that night? It can't be any of my friends, right? No, I highly doubt that. It could have been an innocent bystander? Or it could be-

"Hey Logan."

"Yeah babe." He pauses the movie.

"What did you do after you left the club last weekend?" I'm not accusing him of anything, just want to rule him out.

"Well I came home, took a shower, watched the new episode All American on tv, waited for you to say you made it home safe and then I went to sleep." Logan tells me.

"Oh okay." He resumes his movie and I move back to him. Wait! Something in his story isn't adding up. I take the remote from his hand and pause the movie.

"What's wrong Jay?" He looks at me weirdly.

I stand up, "Why are you lying to me Logan?"

"What do you mean?" Oh so he wanted to play dumb.

"All American doesn't come on till Monday. We went to the club on a Saturday. So again I ask you why are you lying?" I raise my brow.

He gives up, "Ok I lied but only because I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I'm the one who called the cops that day." I didn't want my suspicions to be right. I shake my head, I'm so ashamed and disappointed in him. How could he call the cops on another black man that wasn't doing anything wrong.

"How could you?" I play with the necklace on my neck, while waiting for his answer.

"That. You see, that's why I called the cops." He points to my necklace. I scrunch my face up in confusion.

"I'm not dumb or blind Jazmine. I know you still want your ex. You're even wearing his necklace." Logan becomes angry.

"So you called the cops out of jealousy. What is wrong with you?! And how do you even know he gave me this?" I say and then it clicks in my mind, "You're the one who slid that envelope under my door."

"Yes it was me." Logan admits it like it's nothing.

"Oh my god. You stole and hid my own mail from me. Do you know how invasive and creepy that is? Maybe I should call the cops on you because that's an actual crime!" I stare at him, completely flabbergasted.

"I've tried being patient, giving you space, being a gentleman but none of it matters. Because you're still in love with your piece of trash ex." Logan states furiously.

"He is not a piece of trash." I retort.

"Wow you're really going to defend him right in front of my face. Your own boyfriend's face." Logan chuckles condescendingly. I can't believe Logan, that he could stoop so low and do something like this. This can't be the same person I've been with for the past couple months. He has showed his true colors, I just wish I would have caught on sooner.

At that moment I realize something, "You're right Logan and that's why you're no longer my boyfriend... I'm sorry but we're over."

"What? Really?" He now looks hurt.

"We just don't work together, we're better off as friends. I hope one day we can get back to that." I say truthfully. He is not the right one for me, I see that clearly now.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because for the first time in months I'm going to be honest. And honestly it's not you that I want. I'm sorry." I grab my stuff and head for his door.

"Goodbye Logan." I exit his condo.

The fact that I barely feel sad may say something about me being a bad person. But it also means that I didn't really have any romantic feelings for him, it would have been worse if I kept leading him on. However, It may be due to the horrible things he did. I can't forgive him for that. I just can't. All this time he's been pretending like he's a good guy and I fell for the act. And it cost me a relationship that I value even more.

I drive over to Cindy's and my apartment building. I tell her and Asia everything that happened.

"So he's the one that called the cops?" Cindy repeats.

I nod my head furiously, "Then had the nerve to act like it was to protect me." I scoff.

"Damn that's fucked up. I knew something wasn't right about him, of course he's a snitch." Asia shakes her head.

"And on a fellow black man at that!" I pace around the room.

"Well hold on guys, maybe he was trying to protect Jazmine." Both Asia and I whip our heads around to look at Cindy like she's cuckoo for coco puffs.

"Are you nuts?" Asia questions.

"Imagine what he was thinking, he left his girlfriend with her ex while drunk. What else was he supposed to do?"

"Um definitely not call the cops, that wasn't the answer." I say to her like it's common sense.

"Yeah, you're tripping Cin." Asia tells Cindy.

"Nah, Jaz is the one tripping. You're letting your hurt feelings get in the way of thinking clearly." Cindy digresses.

"He was out of line. Period."

"These feelings you have for Huey are clouding your judgement. Look, all I'm saying is this could have been avoided if he would have never showed up to that club." Cindy shrugs.

"Woah, lowkey insensitive of you to say that Cindy." Asia comments.

"No, high key insensitive!" I shoot daggers Cindy's way, "What are you saying? He deserved it?!"

She shakes her head, "Of course not."

"Let me ask you a question Cindy, Were you there when Huey was shoved to the ground? When a knee was pressed on his back? Did you see the literal fear in his eyes? Hmm, no you didn't. You weren't there but I was. So don't tell me I'm letting hurt feelings cloud my judgement. Because I damn well have a right to be upset." I finish, telling her off. Cindy has no idea how it will ever feel to be one of us. I'm sick of her thinking everything is a joke. I can't believe she would even speak that way.

"I know that Jaz and I'm not saying I can understand the pain that night. I'm just saying you and Logan would be able to work this out if Huey would have left you alone like I told him to."

"You what?" I exclaim, dramatically. What the hell? Is Today everyone tell Jazmine how I have been sneaky behind her back day?

"Cindy, what's wrong with you?" Asia jumps in. Cindy just covers her mouth, like she's said too much.

"Here I thought Huey was walking out of my life for good because he felt like it." I let out a condescending laugh, "But no. You just had to interfere. How could you Cindy?!"

"I-I just didn't want to see you get hurt." Cindy tries to negotiate.

"Bullshit, You had no right! I'm a grown ass woman I can handle my own relationships." I explain to her in frustration.

"Jaz chill even if Cindy said the lowest thing possible and is dead ass wrong ." Asia glares at her, "Her heart is in the right place, she is just looking out for you." I listened to what she had just said and took a deep breath.

"You're right, Asia… Cindy I forgive you but I just can't be around you right now. I'm going to leave." I grab my bag and make my way to the door.
"I'm sorry Jaz." Cindy says and I just nod my head before closing the door.

I take the elevator up to my apartment. I walk inside and press my body up against the door, sighing. It's truly astonishing what I have learned today. I don't even know who to trust anymore. I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm a child. That I'm naïve and gullible. Like I don't know what I want or need. Well guess what, I know exactly what's best for me. Instead of kicking my shoes off, I turn right back around. Unlocking my door and making my way down to my car. I drive around trying to get my thoughts together. Before I end up at my rightful destination.

I knock on the door, "Huey?" I knock again, "Are you there?"

No answer. I wait a couple of beats before I speak again, "Please open the door." But he doesn't. Maybe he was asleep or in the shower. I hope he wasn't ignoring me or worse. I hope he's alive.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened… We need to talk." I knock once more.

"Huey?" Silence. His neighbors probably hate me.

"Please just answer me, let me know that you're breathing at least." I sigh, sliding down to the floor and leaning against the door. "I hope you know I'm not leaving here till I see you. Even if it takes all night." I noticed there's no mail on his welcome mat. Meaning he has come out at some time throughout the day. I'll just wait there till then.

"Not going anywhere." I press my ear to the door but I still hear nothing, no tv or footsteps. My posture slumps in disappointment, I blow a piece of hair out of my face, well I am going to be here for a while.

Suddenly I'm knocked off my balance, noticing that my back is longer supported. The door is open! I look up at him as he looks down at me. His eyes are bloodshot and glassy. But at the same time he doesn't look high. He's dressed in plain grey sweats and a black tee. Normal for him but he still looks off. Tired.

"Huey." I say as I scurry to my feet.

"What are you doing here, Jazmine?" He scowls.

"... I was worried about you." I admit, following him into his kitchen.

He pulls out a bottle of Whiskey from his cabinet, which I examine that it's almost half empty. But Huey barely drinks.

"No need to worry, I'm fine." He says while taking a swig from the bottle.

"Doesn't seem like it." My voice is standoffish.

"Want a drink?" He offers, just ignoring me.

I shake my head, "No thank you."

"I thought smoking marijuana is more your thing?" I question Huey.

"Nothing's wrong with having a drink once in a while. You seemed to prove that last weekend, having way more than a few." Huey's mouth turns into a sick smirk. Now I see, he clearly has too much Whiskey in his system.

"Don't be that way Huey." I cross my arms.

"Which way do you mean?" He says in a playful tone. I can't tell if he's trying to joke around or an asshole. Probably both. I can't really blame him though, Can I?

I frown, "I get that you're mad at me, which you have a right to be. But I am just trying to make sure you're good." I tread lightly.

"Nah I'm not mad at you or your coon of a boyfriend." Oh god the news must have gotten to him already. "I don't blame you or him for ending up with a face full of payment. Actually I'm more angry at the fact that I even went to that club in the first place." Huey takes a good amount of liquor into his mouth. I cringe when I watch his Adam's apple move as he gulps it down.

"Don't you feel like you have had enough?" I try.

"You're right." Huey grabs the bottle from his kitchen counter and walks over to the living room. He stops in front of his fireplace and throws the bottle with enough force to break it. I jump at the sound and sight of fire becoming huge.

Huey comes back to me, "Better?"

"You're scaring me Huey." I take a step back. I know Huey would never hurt me. Well Physically. However, since he is just throwing things around, I don't want to get caught in the crossfire of his rage.

"I'm scaring you?!" Huey scoffs, "Well guess what? Last weekend I was paralyzed with fucking fear."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like-"

"It's cool I wouldn't expect you to understand." He interrupts me.

"I know I can never understand what you've felt or been through but I want to at least comfort you." I say gently.

"No, I don't need your sympathy."

"But w-why?" I say a little above a whisper, "Why won't you just let me here for you?"

"Because I'm fucked up Jazmine!" Huey raises his voice, "In one too many ways... Fuck the police situation. I don't know how you will ever be able to truly grasp why I am the way I am today." I believe the situation with the officer is not the only thing running through his mind. I want him to tell me. Tell me his story.

"You can't just push me away Huey. I'm here and I'm listening. I'm not going anywhere." I give him a reassuring smile. He takes a breath of air in, looks like maybe I got to him. His exhausted orbs look into mines. He sits on his couch and I follow suit.

"Just remember you asked for it." He sighs, "The reason I never want to talk about my past is because it's too painful. But maybe keeping it all in makes it worse… I lost my parents in a car accident." Huey shuts his eyes.

I cover my mouth, "Oh- Oh my. I'm so sorry." I go to comfort Huey but he backs up.

"Just let me continue. My parents used to argue a lot, that's why I could relate to you. Even from young I remember them always arguing. Well one day we were all in the car, I was about 9 and Riley was 7. He was too young to remember it but I know all the events of that day, every second. My parents were too busy going back and forth to notice a drunk driver swerving into our lane. I still think I should have seen it, but I didn't. I could have warned them." Huey looks down ashamed.

"Oh Huey, it's not your fault. You were too young." I put my hand over his.

"I know but still. It just isn't fair, how come Riley and I made it but they didn't?" He sniffs, "I lost the two people I loved most on earth in one night. The only people that understood me. It's far from easy growing up without your parents and even harder when you're one of the only people into your studies in the hood. I was picked on for not wanting to engage in illegal activities. So many restless nights reading about the world because I couldn't fall asleep from the gunshots in my neighborhood and not wanting to relive the car accident. I would have nightmares almost every night when I was young. It got better as I got older but even now I'm lucky to get a few hours of sleep. Especially with the disturbing event with the cops." Huey sucks in a breath. I never knew he had to deal with all that and at such a developing age. And now that's probably why he looks so exhausted he can't sleep good. The run in with the police must have triggered his past experiences somehow.

"Yet, I moved in with my granddad and grandma. Eventually, things started to feel better. They weren't exactly my mom and dad but they were the closest thing to them. I finally felt like I could finally get back to feeling normal until my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors gave her six months, she passed away a year later. That's why I had mixed feelings about him getting married… I was back to feeling shitty again. For years and years until I was accepted into Howard. I was finally around people that understood me again, thought like me. I had friends with the same interests for once. Felt like I belonged somewhere, for the first time. You'd think everything is good but no. My idiot of a brother gets involved in the streets, my grandad calls me worried one day. He's too old and he can't handle Riley anymore. So what do I decide to do? Go home and straighten him out, figuring I'd be back by the time the weekend was over. Nope. Somehow I'm roped into Riley's shenanigans, those gang members weren't going to look out for him. So I did what I had to. I always do what I have to, be the responsible one of the brothers. Always. You have no idea how annoying that is." Huey pauses, shaking his head. I can only imagine how many responsibilities he had to take on. That is so messed up. He had no choice but to grow up where my parents gave me all the time in the world to make hard decisions. He couldn't afford to make mistakes, so much pressure all on him at once. It's just so cruel!

I encourage Huey to continue, "Years into the gang, one day we meet Ed and Rummy. I know what you may think of them but They helped us get out of the gang. But in return we had to do things for them and that's the way our relationship is to this day. They scratch our backs and we scratch theirs. I'm not proud of things I did. But I had no choice, anything was better than being in the streets… Don't get me wrong though I sort of consider Ed and Rummy friends. They did help me find a house for my grandad in Maryland and they helped me gain ownership of my club. Even though I don't really want to be a club owner. I would much rather be an African American Literature teacher, that's what I was going to school for." Huey shrugs. Well maybe I had his friends pegged wrong.

"I can't even express how sad and sorry I am that you had to endure all that pain in your life. I want you to know how strong you truly are, Huey." I squeeze his hand out of reassurance. Huey's right I didn't have an understanding before but now I do. I feel bad now.

"Everything good that ever happens in my life is ruined. So you see, this is why I try not to get close to many people because they will just end up leaving or end up gone… It's why I was scared to love you." Huey finally squeezes my hand back and makes eye contact with me. I stare into those eyes. Those beautiful eyes. I'm left speechless. Huey loves m-

My thought is cut off by Huey standing up abruptly, "Ahem. Yeah so that's my life story. I appreciate you for listening. Shouldn't you be getting back to Logan now?" Woah. What just changed that quickly? The atmosphere is completely different than a minute ago.

"You think I care about seeing him?" I stand, walking up to him.

"Don't you?"

"No."

"He's the one you want right?" Huey looks down at me.

"Who am I here with right now, Huey?" I retort back, raising my voice, "You. Not Logan." He can't be this dense. It's about us at the moment. Only us.

"I'm just saying it's okay. If you want to be with him, I won't get in the way." Huey eyes, study mines but he's not really paying attention to me. He isn't listening to me.

"Look at me." I breathe deeply. Playing my hands on his chest, "I'm not in love with Logan." I peer up into his eyes before I do something risky. I reach up, cupping Huey's face, and lock lips with him. A few beats later he pulls back, walking away.

"This isn't right, you're with someone." He stuffs his hands in his pockets. That hasn't stopped him before. That's not his real reason.

"I broke up with him." Huey's eyes study me, skeptically.

"I don't know how you're still here after I told you all that. I'm a bad person Jazmine… You have no idea how many times I've tried to leave you alone. But I can't, you have too much control over me." Huey spits out honestly.

"And I'm still here because that's how much you have control over me too." I respond.

Huey scoffs, "Listen to us, that's not a good thing, I have hurt you so many times. And you won't just blame me, you'll always find some other excuse."

I furrow my eyebrows, "You want me to blame you? Fine! Huey you screwed up more times than I can count. You broke my heart. You left me all alone." There, is that what he wanted? I hated to talk about that stuff, it was because he was scared. I get that now. So it was irrelevant to this moment.

"You put me in positions where my judgement is gone. Where I have to go against my friends. Where my morals go out the window. Where I have to go against what I think is right. All because I love you!" I shout with emotion.

"Then stop loving me." Huey yells back. His mouth says one thing but those eyes say another.

"I can't!" My chest rises and falls rapidly.

"That's the problem. We don't exactly work." He tries to calm his voice down.

I look down, "I know, we're too complicated."

"Then we agree." Huey breathes heavily, "We end whatever this is."

"I agree." The both of us struggle to look at the other. I think to myself. It's the right decision. I tell myself.

I glance up, to see Huey just staring at me. I feel trapped in a spell by those maroon eyes. I can't look away. I thought he was trying to come to terms with our agreement but he does the opposite. I am pulled in by both his eyes and hands. He kisses me forcefully, his hands on both sides of my face. I place mines on his neck and kiss him back with equal amount of force. Our heads move side to side as we kiss feverishly. A small thought pops into my head 'How could we go from zero to a hundred several times in under 5 minutes.' It truly made no sense. But I am definitely not complaining. I'm soaking all this up. I'm so glad to be feeling like this again. I pull back for a second, practically tearing his shirt off. Then returning my lips to his. Distracted by his tongue I don't even notice him lifting me up by my bottom. Almost automatically I wrap my legs around his lower body as he carries me away from the living room.