DING-DONG!

Luigi tugged the collar of his green turtleneck, nervous that his potato salad would be overshadowed by his brother's award-winning coleslaw.

Waluigi opened the door and greeted the red and green duo with a bright pearly-white smile. "Come on in! You are just in time!"

Mario took off his jacket and hung it on the rack. He eyed the exquisite art of manatees adorning the hallway.

"Did you fellas find the place all right?" asked the wholesome host.

Mario nodded. "We would have been here sooner had traffic not been so-a bad." He glared at his brother. "Next time I choose which route we're taking..."

"Okey-dokey..." Luigi mumbled, tapping his fingers together.

Waluigi guided his guests to the dining room and sat them down before an extravagant feast of pure delicious delicacies. In addition to the Mario Bros., Wario, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Toad, and Yoshi were also invited.

"We had a strange feeling you'd show up last..." Wario grimaced.

"Well, you do know they always need to stop by seven houses before finding the right one..." Peach snickered, remembering the good old days of kidnapping.

"Any longer and we would've starved to death..." muttered Toad, polishing his .45.

Waluigi sat down in his seat and looked over his guests with anticipation. "This is gonna be the best dinner party ever!"

"Hear, hear!" said Yoshi, astutely peering over his bifocals as he gently closed his encyclopaedia.

"Let's have at this tasty grub then, shall we?" said Daisy eagerly.

And so, the feast began and everyone ate their fill and talked until the wee hours of the night about interesting subjects like economics, politics, metabolic granulation, and Reese's PuffsTM.

CLANK!

Wario looked to his purple companion worried. He noticed that the lad had dropped his fork and was now clutching his stomach.

"Are you okay?" Wario asked with terrible regard.

Waluigi moaned and stood up. "The cheese..." his lips managed to emit. "The cheese is... too... CHEESY!"

With that, Waluigi shrieked something awful. His WAH went to the heavens and back like the echolocation of a lanky, black-jeaned dolphin lost at sea.

Wario gasped. He had seen this before. His spiritual brother's cheese-intolerance was akin to using a Phillips screwdriver on a flathead; the two should never meet...

Luigi was utterly horrified. He had never witnessed such an agonising cry of sheer torture. He quickly jumped out the window and ran up a tree to live the rest of his life as a squirrel.

"Wario! What kind of cheese did Waluigi consume?" asked Mario, wiping some stray spaghetti sauce from his left cheek.

Wario looked down at the cheese platter. Immediately, his face was filled with great disdain. "All of them..." he whispered.

"ALL OF THEM!?" everyone cried.

"Brie, Gouda, Limburger, Swiss, Cheddar, Mozzarella... you name it!" Wario shouted. He continued to watch Waluigi's haunting convulsions.

Rosalina tried to remedy the situation with her celestial magic. She shot hundreds of starbits into Waluigi's open maw, hoping they would counteract the digestive strife like antacid.

The starbits wedged between Waluigi's teeth and melted into a gooey candy epoxy. His jaw clamped shut and he could no longer release his cries of cheesy pain.

"His lips are sealed!" Wario said, but it didn't matter what he said. It was the cheesy game they now played.

The cheese traveled, squirting out of the purple one's swollen tear ducts like the defense mechanism of a horned lizard.

Everyone ducked under the table as the cheese shot forth. Toad was not quick enough though. He was blasted square in the noggin, knocking off his cap and exposing his enormous brain to the public. It was even bigger than Yoshi's.

"My brain!" cried Toad as his grey matter was tainted yellowish-orange from the unrelenting spew of Waluigi's dairy tears.

Mario watched as Toad fell to the ground and became two-fifths of a pizza (missing only sauce, dough, and pepperoni) "Mama Mia! How do we stop Waluigi from experiencing this awful experience?"

Wario looked down at the floor sadly, noticed a nickel, picked it up, saw it was from 1998, and then put it in his pocket. "I do not know. Last time he ate cheese, he just had a pinch of Parmesan on some rigatoni. I have no idea what to do when he has eaten so many different breeds."

Peach began to cry. "I feel so bad for him because his mustache is so handsome and now it will be tarnished with that gooey stuff for many weeks..."

Daisy hugged Peach and then clocked her over the head with a frying pan. "It was for her own good," Daisy explained. Everyone nodded in agreement. They all knew that if Peach started crying, then Waluigi would get even more emotional.

"Good heavens!" shouted Yoshi. The cheese flood was making its way under the table and was quickly approaching like a horror movie where Jason Voorhees invaded a nacho factory.

"Oh-no!" screamed Rosalina as she and the unconscious Peach were swept away by the tide. As Rosalina sunk, she tossed her crown over to the green dinosaur, letting him know that he had been selected as the new princess of the cosmos.

"Rosie and Peach are dead!" shouted Daisy, pulling an inflatable raft from her pocket and hopping inside with the rest of her friends.

"No, we can still save them, and the fungus lad as well..." said Yoshi, placing the silver crown atop his big eye-holding head-bump thing. "If we can reverse this catastrophe, then we can save our friends and family from its wrath."

"How can we ever stop it?" asked Mario sadly. "We're just ordinary average guys..."

Something about Mario's sorrow stirred something deep within Wario. He jumped out from under the table, dodged the cheesy fountain of doom, and grabbed the radio off the mantel.

Waluigi looked over at the odd yellow fellow, mozzarella remnants streaming down his cheeks like a crude Play-DohTM set.

"My brother..." Wario stated as his sequin scarf flowed glamorously through the wind (A/N: the window was open and Wario just bought the scarf on clearance three days earlier).

Waluigi muffled out a tearful plea for his comrade's aid.

"I will rescue you!" Wario shouted as he cranked the dial on the radio and blasted classic Joe Walsh hits right into Waluigi's ear canals. The soothing sounds of sick jams invaded the violet being's very core and impaled the dark vibes with true glory. As the mystic Eagle delved deeper and deeper into Waluigi, his inner turmoil was completely eradicated and the enemy cheese dissolved into nothingness, Limburger and all.

With one final push, Waluigi regained his composure and growled something fierce. His jaw snapped open, shattering the crystal candy encasement that had jailed his dedicated smile. He wiped his cheeks clear of the viscous residue and let out the heartiest WAH this side of the Mushroom Kingdom. Even Bowser could hear the warrior cry from his vacation in Aruba.

"You did it, Wario!" Mario said happily as he, Yoshi, and Daisy paddled over to the mantel. Yoshi used his tongue to fish out Toad, Rosalina, and Peach.

"I'm so sorry for this whole mess, you guys..." Waluigi sighed, mustache drooping in shame as the remaining cheese dripped down from his nostrils like a Cubchoo with a high cholesterol intake.

"It's no problem, bro!" said Wario, patting him on the back.

"I just wanted to have a nice dinner party and... I ruined everything once again..." Waluigi buried his face in his cheese-stained gloves.

"What matters is that you tried and we really did have a good time!" said Daisy cheerfully. "You should be proud of that!"

"Exactly," said Yoshi, adjusting his new crown. "This celebration might have been impacted negatively by cheese, but it was certainly far from a disaster. I admire you, Waluigi."

Waluigi cracked a slight smile and threw an arm around his bro Wario. "Hey then... Let's get this place scrubbed and go order some Thai!"

Everyone agreed that this would be a stellar way to end the night.

And as for Luigi... he had truly become one with his squirrel brethren. He's actually running for squirrel senate this December, so donate to show your support for this wise green individual.

THE END