Hoo boy, another long one. This is also the last one I prepared before I started posting, so here's hoping I've knuckled down and continued writing over the last 15 weeks. At the time of writing this, I am about to post chapter 1, having spent the week since the introduction proof-reading the prepared chapters. So I'm hoping you've all enjoyed reading so far and are enjoying the changes I've made, and that my checking has managed to eliminate any errors I left lying around. I tend to write quite late at night, so the first drafts of my work are almost entirely gibberish. Honestly, it's not so much proof-reading as it is translation, trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about.
And yes, I kept the incredibly dramatic title for this one, because I could
Either way, I've rambled on long enough, and I imagine you want to crack on and find out what happened after the cliffhanger of last week, so I'll let you go. I'll see you at the end - J
Chapter 15: New year's Revelations
She couldn't have told you how long she was there, staring at nothing.
The last ten minutes played over and over in her head. Was it the right choice? Had she ruined this for nothing? For her own peace of mind. Had she caused such pain for selfish reasons?
What the fuck was she going to do now?
She'd stopped crying some time ago, and now she was just shivering; it actually was pretty damn cold. Her legs were stiff as she dragged herself to her feet, staggering over to the blanket where the bottle of whiskey still sat, having borne witness to Sophie's catastrophe. Ignoring the glasses, she scooped it up on her way past.
Now seemed as good a time as any to see if the term 'drowning your sorrows' actually bore any merit.
The rising sun found her laying on her back beside the wall, an empty bottle a few inches from her hand and a half full one balanced on her forehead. She'd fucked up, she'd fucked up, she'd fucked up. Dimly, the back of her mind told her she should probably leave before the lynch mob showed up, but she'd kind of surrendered to that fate some hours ago. Honestly, at this point she was beyond sure she'd deserve it.
Hours ticked by and the bottle grew steadily emptier until she was staring through it at the cloudy sky. Winter was damn cold.
The door opened and closed and Sophie's head snapped up, though she immediately regretted it as the sharp action sent far too much poison to her brain and she lost the capacity to hold her head up, letting it smack back into the slabs with a groan and a thump.
"Hello there, girly." Camilla's tone was grave as she appeared beside her, looking down with pity and sadness. Soph wished she had the strength to lift a limb and push her away.
"What d'you want?" She squinted up at the older woman, who only sighed.
"To see how you were, I saw our dear Miss Jones this morning." She leaned against the low wall and Soph let the wash of guilt sweep over her at the mention of Kelly. She let her eyes close.
"How is she?" It was barely above a whisper, honestly she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
"Stoic. But I would guess at angry." The confirmation helped nothing and Soph's stomach flipped. She rolled onto her side with a sickly groan.
"What did you do, girly?" It wasn't accusatory, it was sympathetic, Soph was hit with a wave of nausea and burped.
"Told the truth." Her head made contact with an empty bottle and the grating sound was vicious in her ears, she winced.
"Was it worth it?" Camilla's voice was quiet, Sophie glanced up at her.
"Probably not, but she had to know." She cursed internally at how true that was.
Her aunt vanished and there was a splash of water being tipped out before a bucket was dropped in front of her with a clang. She recognised it, it was the ice bucket she'd been keeping their beers in the night before.
"Sit up, girly." It was an oddly sharp command, and Soph made an effort to comply on shaking and half-useless limbs, eventually ending up with her back against the wall and the bucket between her legs. As it turned out, the bucket was an excellent idea, as so much movement agitated her stomach beyond what it could handle and she retched.
Like that, the flood gates were open, the entire content of her stomach finding its way into the bucket and not so much as easing up until she was spitting nothing but bile. When she finally sat back up, the bucket was removed and a cold glass was pressed into her hand. She panted for air for a moment before gratefully throwing back the water.
"You need to fix this." Crouched beside her, her aunt pushed hair from her clammy forehead. She rinsed her mouth and spat across the roof before looking up at her.
"I don't deserve her." The truth of it was suffocating, like a weight on her chest, dragging her underwater. Camilla frowned.
"That's for her to decide. You fucked up, you don't get to quit. You have to do what you can to make it right, and let her decide if you're worth a second chance." She raised her chin and Sophie winced. She knew she wasn't worth a second chance, but her aunt had a point, she did need to make this right. Kelly deserved that much of her.
Right now though... she needed to sober up.
"Go take a shower, girly. Sleep it off, then get to work." A gentle hand squeezed her shoulder and Soph managed half a sad smile.
A shower was an excellent idea, she hadn't realised how cold she was until the warm water nearly fried her skin. She let herself stand under the torrent of pain until she was warmed through, any remnants of whiskey and vomit rinsing away down the drain until she could pull her clothes back on to stagger back up to the dorms. The head girl's room was locked, and she imagined she should have expected that, so she stomped through to the communal area and found her old bed, piled high with the clothing and belongings she'd taken through with her when she 'moved'. Unceremoniously shoving it all on the floor, and then under her bed, she fell head first into the soft mattress.
She was out before she even felt the pillow beneath her head.
Waking was painful. Her head throbbed and her stomach felt like it had ruptured. Every joint she owned and every muscle she had grumbled and groaned in displeasure and she hadn't even moved yet. She recalled brushing her teeth but her tongue still felt furry and her breath tasted vile.
For a long moment, she wallowed in self-pity, but even that couldn't keep the real reason for her misery at bay for long.
The guilt arrived on a sharp whistle that cracked through the still morning air like a gunshot and banished any peace from her mind as she sat bolt upright, barely in time to see that back of Kelly vanishing from the doorway. Her stride was long and her pace purposeful; the head girl would not be messed with today.
Confused looks followed her about the room as she hurried to change and rushed off as fast as her hangover would let her. She needed to get to work.
Back at the scene of the crime, she cleaned up, restoring the roof to its natural state. Along the way she found her jacket, which she made an effort not to bury her face in, and the broken choker. The leather and the pendant were intact, it was just the clasp that had broken... it was repairable... the question was whether or not Kelly would want it...
She decided it was worth making an attempt on and headed down to the shed to grab the bike. Hopefully, Lexi's shop would still be open the day before New Year's Eve. She caught sight of Annabelle's new monster while she was there; a CBR 600, repsol edition... Nice. She made a mental note to talk to Annabelle about pricing at some point in the new year. She could only borrow the twins Suzuki Bandit for so long.
Surprisingly, Lexi's was open, and behind the counter, looking thoroughly bored, stood the woman herself.
"Please don't tell me you're here to buy something else? I wanted to close within the next three hours." She smirked upon spotting Soph, who managed half a chuckle.
"I was wondering if you did repairs." She stopped at the counter and fished in her pocket, Lexi eyed her warily as she nodded.
"We do." She sounded almost concerned but her expression changed to shock as Soph set the damaged choker on the counter.
"Woah! What did you do to it?!" It was hard to tell if she was impressed or horrified, Sophie couldn't honestly muster the snark for an answer, and simply sighed. Lexi looked at her for a long moment before sympathy fell across her face.
"I see. Come on in the back while I fix this, tell me what happened."
Lexi turned out to be fairly knowledgeable on relationships, and choker repair, but as Soph explained what an absolute walking tragedy she was, even she looked a little out of her depth.
"Well... that's a pretty big fuck up." She nodded as though her words were sage advice and Sophie scowled.
"Thanks." She huffed and Lexi shrugged.
"What's there to say? You're an ass. Like, really, I'd probably have thrown you off the roof." She arched a brow as if expecting Soph to argue but she simply sighed.
"Yeah, me too." Her solemn tone seemed to catch the other woman's attention.
"Hey, I wish there was something I could say, but really, that was pretty fucked up. I get the revenge thing a bit, though you do scare me slightly with that..." She paused to hold up a hand and Soph nodded her agreement.
"But you definitely shouldn't have started bangin' a chick you were trying to ruin... That's pretty shitty." She gestured with the tool she was using and Soph nodded.
"Even I know that. But... I dunno... there was just something about her... I just couldn't..." She let her head drop into her hands with a huff.
"Man, you got it bad." Lexi was still staring at her, she could feel it, but she didn't look up.
"You're not wrong." She mumbled into her hands and Lexi chuckled.
"Well, I don't know how much good it'll do you, but it's fixed." She sounded mildly proud of herself and Soph raised her head to find the woman waving the repaired choker.
"I'm not trying to get her back, I'm not an idiot." She stood to follow the woman out to the till, and Lexi shot her a questioning look.
"I just want to make things right." With a heavy sigh, she stated at the choker, but she was surprised as a hand landed on her shoulder, squeezing gently.
"You might not be a complete asshole, you know?" She tipped her head and Soph managed half a hollow smile.
"Thanks. But you're wrong." She paused to fish in her pockets for her wallet.
"I am definitely a complete asshole."
She left with Lexi's number in her phone on a promise to let her know how it goes and headed back to the school. Finding Kelly wasn't hard; you just had to follow the barked orders and scurrying students as they all arrived back for the party tomorrow and found their Head Girl in a foul mood. Fortunately, she wasn't looking for her to put herself in the line of fire, she just needed to make sure she wasn't in her room.
With so many students going in and out of the dorms, picking the lock was impossible, but if she was right, she'd left the window unlocked the last time she'd been in there, meaning it likely still was.
It was a hell of a climb, but older houses were good for footholds, so she made it to the ledge with minimal life risk. Fortunately for her, Kelly hadn't bolted all the windows in her absence, allowing her to slip in to the familiar room with relative ease.
It was... surprisingly painful.
Her side of the bed was made, something they almost never did. The cupboard was open and she could see the empty hangers where her things had been. She imagined that if she were to look in the drawers, several of them would be half empty. Honestly... it was almost brutal.
She fished out a scrap of paper from... what used to be, her bedside drawer, and scrawled a quick note, leaving both on the made side of the bed.
It wasn't much, but at the very least, she hoped it would be a start.
With one last, lingering, glance about the room, she hopped back up onto the windowsill.
"Kelly!" Polly's voice caught her attention and she froze in place, half out of the window.
"Back in a sec'." She heard Jones respond, approximately from the top of the stairs, and Soph thanked whatever god was listening that she'd been granted the early warning.
Hurrying, she pulled herself out onto the ledge and up the nearby trellis, scaling with speed she wouldn't normally risk in such a precarious climb but if Jones caught her... falling might be preferable.
She made it back to the roof but didn't slow her pace. Kelly would know she'd gone up, not down, and if she were so inclined, could very well be on her way to cut her off. She couldn't run through the school, Jones would easily guess which route she'd take, so instead she ducked into the first empty classroom and took another trip out of the window, happy to shimmy down the drainpipe, dropping the last few feet to land with a quiet thud on the grass.
Tucking her hands into her pockets, she headed off to lay low for a while until lights out. Kelly didn't need her underfoot today.
At dinner she sat herself across from Camilla at the staff table. About half the school was back so far, and the rest would turn up tomorrow.
"Hello girly, how's your head?" The woman's voice was oddly comforting, Soph shrugged, eyes on her dinner.
"Death, but I'll live." She started eating and could practically feel her stomach calming down with each bite, she watched Camilla smile in the corner of her eye.
"Has your brain kicked in yet?" Her smirk was audible, Sophie cast her a hollow smile.
"Sort of. Time will tell if it's actually doing anything good." As casual as she kept her tone, it was the true underlying fear in her mind. Even now, was she doing the right thing? Or should she just leave Kelly to be angry and move on? Thankfully, Camilla didn't push the matter further and went back to her own dinner. As she finished, Soph dared to glance across the hall in search of that familiar dark hair. She hadn't seen her for over twenty four hours, not properly, and as her gaze found her, her stomach dropped. She was flawless as always, a little tired maybe, a tension in her shoulders that shouldn't be there… She looked just the way she had when Soph had first arrived… Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe she should just leave, and let the woman continue on as if she'd never been here.
For a long moment, she watched her talking to Polly; the trademark 'Head Girl' expression on her face, told Soph it was strictly business. The two girls stood and she found herself transfixed by the simple grace that was Kelly Jones as she walked… She'd always noticed it, but knowing that there was a possibility that she'd never be able to walk up to her and be a part of that grace, interrupt that serious, fully-in-control, head girl act of hers… It made her want to stay watching for as long as possible.
They dropped off their trays and Soph moved quickly, ducking out of the hall and walking double speed back up to the roof. She didn't really dare to hope, but what choice did she have? The ball was in Jones' court. She'd wait all night if she had to.
The sun had long since set, and Soph sat on the low wall, one leg dangling in mid-air as she watched the clouds play over the moon. She couldn't stop over-thinking her note.
I know not everything can be fixed, but this could.
If there is a way to make this right, just tell me how.
I'll be on the roof after dinner, every night.
Every night, for as long as she could, she would sit up here in their usual spot, and wait for the day Kelly chose to talk to her. If it never came… it never came.
As it turned out, it was a lot sooner than she'd expected.
The door's quiet click was the first hint that someone else was there; followed by the familiar sound of heels on the stone slabs. She didn't speak, or really turn around. If Kelly was here to push her off the roof, she would probably prefer to do it without her staring at her.
"I'm here to tell you to stay out of my room." Her tone was cold, Sophie's eyes dropped shut for a long moment as she repressed her gut reaction.
"Sorry. Just wanted to drop that off, and I didn't think you'd want to see me." She turned her head to talk to her but kept her in her periphery rather than direct eye contact. She wasn't sure she could handle that up here.
"I didn't." Still cold, Soph's stomach twisted.
"Understandably." She ducked her head out of reflex, turning back toward the trees with a sigh. In the silence, she heard Kelly move to stand by the wall, a good few metres between them. Sophie schooled her expression.
"I know I can't fix it." She looked down at the distant floor.
"But I want to make things right, balance this out." Her hand came up to run through her hair.
"Balance?" Kelly snorted and Soph sighed.
"I owe you." She pronounced every word carefully.
"Whatever the reason or situation, none of that matters. You got the shit end of this, you should get something to make it less… Shit." It was almost painful how terrible she was at this, but Jones had yet to say a word.
"I know it'll probably never make you hate me any less, I'm not delusional." She swung her leg over the wall and got to her feet, turning toward her.
"But if you need anything, tell me, and if I can, it'll be done." She shrugged and let her hands drop to her sides, jamming them in her pockets. Kelly was leaning on the wall, her back against it and her arms folded across her chest. She looked like she was staring at an idiot, and Sophie supposed that was the case.
For a long moment, silence reigned. Then…
"Give me all the money you have." Jones raised her chin and Soph sighed, but nodded.
"I'll need to run to the bank when it opens after New Year's, but sure." She met the icy gaze directed at her with an even stare. She wasn't lying, Kelly would see that. After another long moment, she spoke again.
"The keys to the bike." She held out her hand and Soph pulled them from her pocket, throwing them over without hesitation. Kelly caught them with an arched brow.
"Nothing will ever make it okay." It was cold and it was cruel, even Soph knew she flinched, but carefully, she let out a long breath.
"I know." She spoke but her voice was barely above a whisper.
"What if I told you to step off the roof?" Jones stepped away from the wall and cocked her hip, staring her down. Soph swallowed hard.
"Before or after I go to the bank?" She deadpanned, almost wishing she were joking. Kelly arched a brow, clearly unimpressed, Sophie sighed.
"I would." She gave a humourless laugh.
"I was going to anyway." Her mind flashed back to that moment and briefly, Kelly's mask cracked, surprise flashing through her gaze.
"What?" She looked like she might step forward for half a second, but held her ground, Soph turned her gaze to the wall, debating keeping quiet, but who even cared anymore? The woman wanted the truth, she could have it.
"While you were off with Flash after the heist. I was confused, lost… I came up here to drink myself to clarity and found myself staring over the edge. I'd fucked everything up, sacrificed everything I'd worked for… For something I didn't even understand. I couldn't leave, I had nowhere to go, and I couldn't stay, not with everything I'd done… It seemed the logical next-… Last, step." She almost laughed, but she could feel the other girl's gaze on the side of her head.
"Annabelle found me, convinced me to stay… For a while, I thought she'd been right, that I could pretend none of it happened and just… be happy." She let out a long breath, her gaze on her feet for a moment before she raised her head.
"But the downside of caring about a person is the guilt that comes with betraying them." She found deep brown eyes completely unreadable as she stared across at her.
"I couldn't live with it, every time I looked at you I remembered how we'd gotten to where we were. You didn't deserve that." She kept her expression neutral, forcing any emotion from her voice, she wasn't trying to make Kelly pity her.
"So, if you want me to walk off the roof, whether it helps or not, I will." She shrugged once more and silence fell between them like a brick. It wasn't even particularly windy tonight, the air around them was still. The lack of sound rang in her ears.
"If it all happened again, would you do it?" Jones' voice was almost as quiet as her own and Soph raised her chin at the question.
"If I had to live my entire life again… I wouldn't change any of my decisions. The only thing I would do is make myself see you properly before it was too late. I should have dropped my revenge plan the minute you helped me through my panic attack, instead I held you to my own standard; assumed you were as much of a prick as me. The more power you gained over me, the more I struggled against you; the more I plotted to destroy you. It was stupid, and there isn't a decent excuse in the world to pardon it, but that's what happened." She shoved a hand into her hair, gripping the back tightly.
"I haven't trusted a single person in half a decade, then you swanned in… Honestly, I was terrified." She was almost talking to herself now, she hadn't planned to say any of this. Half of her mind was screaming at her to shut up, the other half was the one doing the talking.
"I still am." She gripped her hair even tighter for a moment before letting go, her head snapping up to meet that, still-stoic, expression. Kelly seemed to take a deep breath, running a hand over her face.
"If I told you to leave and never come back, to keep going, but never return to St. Trinian's?" She arched a brow and Soph almost smiled.
"I would do it. Live my life. Now that I know I'm capable of this sort of shit, it might even be interesting. I'd probably never forget, but I would survive. You don't have to worry about me stepping in front of a train." She spoke as sincerely as she could, and Jones' shoulders genuinely seemed to relax slightly.
Even amidst all this, the woman was still worrying about her. How in the hell could Soph ever have thought Kelly Jones would stoop as low as she? The woman was a goddamn saint.
"I need to think. Go to bed, you're on event setup tomorrow while I handle arrivals. Meet me here after lunch." It was a dismissal, loud and clear, and the tired edge to Jones' voice sent a pang of guilt through her stomach, but she nodded none the less.
"No rush. Whatever you decide, it will be fine, and I can wait." She took a step back to show she fully intended to follow her instructions. Kelly nodded and waved a hand toward the door, shooing her away.
"Just go." Her tone wasn't nearly as sharp as it had been upon her arrival, Soph pushed away any idea of hope. Pity and exhaustion softened a person just as much as anything else.
Shaking her head at herself, she set off back to the dorm.
Sleep did not come easy.
A restless night of weird nightmares; half memory, half fears, scrambled through her mind, ending abruptly with a sudden jolt of icy cold.
She jerked upright with a gasp that became a splutter as she inhaled a small amount of water and for a moment she could do nothing but cough to clear her lungs, pushing her hair back from her face in search of the culprit.
There, at the end of her bed, she found two mischievous grins. In spite of herself, Soph managed a smile.
"There are better ways to wake someone up, you know?" She faked a scowl but the twins saw right through it, leaping into the damp bed to tackle her into the pillows. Soph chuckled as she hugged them back.
"I missed you too, kids." She hugged them tightly for a moment before sitting back, they took up sitting positions side by side at the end of her bed and folded their arms, serious frowns on their tiny faces.
"You and Kelly need to make up." They pouted and Soph wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. She tried to smile, but knew it would be sad.
"Things are complicated, girls. I pissed her off, big time." She dropped her hands into her lap and the pair exchanged a long look, before turning back to her.
"She's not mad..." Tania began, her expression softening.
"She's sad." Tara finished, and the pair of them looked so down for a moment that that Soph's stomach twisted. Heaving a sigh, she beckoned them forward for another hug.
"I know."
As it turned out, the terrible two had been sent by the head girl herself to make sure Soph was up and doing the job she'd been given, so she got dressed in a hurry and all but ran downstairs to get started.
Party prep was a serious business at St. Trinian's, so she was on her feet for the whole morning. She had to make sure the stage was set up properly, the decorations went up, the bar was stocked, Anoushka was conscious, the fire alarms functional... it was a busy day.
Of course, time still dragged.
Every five minutes or so she'd check the clock, half expecting to find an hour had passed. Each time, she was disappointed and each time a second seemed to drag on even longer.
When lunch time finally arrived, she felt like she'd aged twenty years. She was exhausted, hungry, and her back hurt from too much heavy lifting, but there was inevitable speed to her as she all but jogged through the school, taking the stairs two at a time.
However, as she reached the door, she paused.
This would be it... if Kelly had reached a decision, this could very well be the last time she ever saw her...
That thought settled uneasily in her gut, and, swallowing hard, she shoved the door open, stepping out with a deep breath. If that was what she chose... so be it.
Kelly was already there, standing with her back to her and her hands on her hips. She was still out of uniform, but the familiar pencil skirt and heels had made their return.
"Er... Sorry to keep you waiting." She announced herself a little awkwardly, knowing Jones would already know it was her.
"It's fine." Her tone was impossible to decipher, Soph swallowed hard. She walked forward but kept her distance, feeling not unlike a child waiting to be scolded. Slowly, Kelly seemed to let out a long breath.
"I'm going to ask you something. I want you to tell me the truth." Her tone was grave, Sophie nodded pointlessly before speaking.
"Okay." It was a promise, they could both hear it... or she hoped the other girl could.
She turned, and Soph met her even gaze.
"You've said a lot of things to me." She began and Soph bit her lip, memories rushing forward. Cautiously, she nodded.
"Was any of it true?" She raised her chin and Soph could almost see how much she needed the answer to this question.
"I've never met someone like you."
"I don't know if I can trust you."
"You can't."
"It wasn't for any kind of endgame, alright?"
"I don't know why, but I just can't… ignore you."
"I erm... Trust you."
Sophie turned her gaze to the floor to take a shuddering breath as the memories and the feeling attached to them burned through her. She had to hold it together.
This wasn't about her.
Dragging her head back up, she swallowed once more, her mouth painfully dry.
"Completely." It was barely above a whisper, but she knew the woman heard it as pain flickered in her gaze.
Jones pinched the bridge of her nose as if fighting a headache, taking a deep breath that Soph could greatly empathise with if she dared to even breathe in this moment.
The silence between them shattered as Kelly gave a bitter huff, almost a laugh.
"This is fucking ridiculous." She muttered, seemingly to herself.
"I knew you were hiding something from me, well, a lot of somethings." She corrected herself with a bitter smile, taking her hand away from her face to gesture idly to the air.
"I ignored it. Against every instinct, I told myself, that if something really mattered, you'd tell me. I suppose I wasn't wrong, you did in the end." She began to pace and Soph jammed her hands into her pockets.
"I should have the first years suspend you from the roof, tell everyone you tried to destroy this place, let them chase you from the grounds." She genuinely seemed to be talking to herself, Sophie winced none the less.
"Why haven't I?!" She turned to her with a snarl and honestly, Soph could not be held responsible for how she flinched, staggering back a few steps.
She opened her mouth to answer, but found no words as she stared at the genuine confusion, hurt, and stress in the older girl's face.
Kelly wasn't shouting at her, she was genuinely asking. Sophie swallowed hard around the lump in her throat.
"You'd deserve it, and more." It wasn't even an accusation anymore, but Soph nodded anyway, agreeing with her.
"I should be furious, and I am, you have no idea." Her face twisted into a glare and Soph felt her eyes burn.
"But why..." She seemed to take a breath as she stepped closer. When she spoke again, her tone was heavy with exhaustion.
"Why don't I hate you?" It was a whisper in the air between them, Soph's twisted stomach constricted itself into a knot she was sure it would never untangle from and she had to ball her hands into fists to keep from reaching for her.
"I'm sorry." She didn't plan for it to come out of her mouth, but it did, tumbling from her lips, cracked and broken.
"Kelly, I'm so sorry." She shook her head, already aware that it was nowhere near enough, and breathed the words into the space between them, watching as Kelly's eyes closed and a shuddering breath passed her lips.
"It's your fault." Murmured from blood red lips, the words were a death sentence in the air.
"You did this to me. You made me trust you, made me care about you." She stepped even closer so she was towering over her and Soph winced with every word.
"So you deal with it." Her voice had risen to a command, Soph struggled to keep up, unsure what the woman meant.
"You've made it so I don't want to be without you. You don't get to leave." She placed her hands on her hips.
"You're going to stay, and you're going to be the person you were pretending to be." She continued and Soph could do nothing but stare. What was she saying?
"Be the Sophie Daniels I asked to move into my room, the one who buys weirdly thoughtful gifts, who knows when I'm tired and makes sure I remember to eat. Who gets cuddly when she's tired, and goes quiet when she's sad and thinks no-one notices. Be the Sophie Daniels I wanted to be with." She raised her chin and Soph's mouth fell open.
"That is how you make this up to me. By giving me what you promised in the first place." Her jaw set as she finished and for a long moment there was silence.
Soph stared, her mouth hanging slightly open but barely daring to breathe.
Words escaped her, and as the seconds ticked by Jones clearly misinterpreted her silence.
"If you want to, that is... if not we can-" she was cut off as Soph moved, silencing any further second guessing by sealing her lips with a kiss.
Jones had been worried she thought she was trying to trap her, blackmail her into a relationship; that, alone, had been enough to jolt her into action. But, as surprise faded Kelly pulled back, leaving just enough space between them for a quiet sigh, Soph couldn't stop the tears that spilled free.
She was giving her another chance.
Kelly pressed forward once more, a warm hand finding Soph's cheek as they poured all the anger, all the guilt, sorrow, pain and forgiveness into the kiss. It was enough to pull a quiet whimper from the back of her throat, but it only seemed to prompt Kelly to wind an arm about her waist, pulling them flush together.
Soph could do nothing but bring her hands up to wind around the older girl's neck and hold on for dear life. She was a fucking tragedy, a liar, a manipulative asshole and a complete and utter bastard, but Kelly wanted her to keep trying, to stay with her and keep trying to be a better person.
Honestly, for her, she might actually manage it.
The hand on the side of her face slid into her hair, gripping tight and being used to angle her head so Jones could deepen the kiss and Soph could not be held responsible for the way her hips jerked in response. The arm around her waist tightened and she felt a familiar warmth building, low in her gut.
They broke apart for air and she opened her eyes to find Kelly staring down at her, lips slightly parted, eyes dark, a tell-tale flush creeping up her neck and Soph knew she'd be just as obvious. She could feel the tremor in her own hand as brought it to rest on the girl's face, brushing smudged lipstick with her thumb.
"I don't deserve you." She sighed and Kelly's eyes dropped shut.
"Let me be the judge of that." She tipped her head to rest their foreheads together. Sophie almost managed a smile as she let out a long breath.
"I missed you." It was a whisper in the space between them, and as she watched, Kelly's eyes reopened, trapping her in their gaze.
"Show me." Her smirk was unmistakable and in spite of the storm still raging in her head, Soph couldn't help but grin.
"Yes, ma'am." With that she closed the space between them once more, hooking two fingers under the woman's choker to pull her down into a bruising kiss. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed being able to do this for the last forty eight hours, but god, if anyone came up here and interrupted, she would throw them off the damn roof.
Everything around them became irrelevant. Kelly's hand slipped under her shirt and nails dragged over her side while the other kept its firm grip in her hair. Soph fought back, catching the older girl's lip between her teeth as she moved slowly backwards, pulling them both over to the chimney that had witnessed more than one of their 'altercations'. She found herself shoved hard against it and let go of the woman's lip with a quiet growl, only to recapture her lips and set her hands to work on the black shirt keeping her from the woman's skin. Her hands fumbled in the cold but soon she was pulling the last of it from the woman's skirt, soft skin beneath her palms as she slid them slowly over the older girl's ribs and up over her shoulders.
They were forced apart for air and Soph ducked her head before Kelly had the chance, latching onto her neck just above the leather of her choker and dragging her teeth over the delicate skin. She felt the woman's quiet moan more than heard it around her own thundering heart beat and smirked to herself, though it quickly vanished as the button of her jeans popped open, the slow drag of her zip sending a shudder down her spine. Nails dragged through her hair as Kelly's wandering hand dipped below her waistline. Her hands were warm, brushing lightly over her thigh under the confines of the material and dragging a whine from Soph's lips.
"Kelly." She murmured against her skin as she ducked her head lower, down to her collarbone. She felt the older girl's chuckle and bit down to prove a point, unable to muster a smirk at the woman's slightly pained hiss as the hand in her hair tightened back into a harsh grip to yank her away. They stared each other down for a long moment, chests heaving for breath, lips bitten and eyes dark and all Soph could think was how indescribably beautiful the older girl was. As they stared, she trailed her hand down to the hem of her skirt, hooking her fingers under the tight material and sliding them up her thigh, over the Gaussian material of those stockings that drove Soph to the edge of sanity whenever she watched Kelly get dressed. Jones' eyelids fluttered, but her gaze never wavered, her thumb brushing slowly back and forth across the sensitive skin of Soph's inner thigh, barely an inch away from where she wanted her.
She reached that point, but instead of stopping as the older girl had done, she continued on, offering the pressure she knew the older girl wanted. Her hips jerked and Soph's mouth went dry at the gasp that reached her ears, at the sight of white teeth coming down hard on smudged, blood red lips, to try and stifle any further sound. She flexed her wrist, and was delighted as Kelly's hips moved in time with the action, a steady pace as Soph watched, mesmerised.
Not for long.
Apparently through with being the only one losing it, Kelly's hand shifted and Soph couldn't catch the groan that rumbled from her throat at the sudden friction.
"Fuck." She hissed and Kelly's lips curled into a sinful smirk.
"Only two days." Her voice was velvet as she leaned down to her ear and Soph shivered as she widened her stance just a little, turning her head to resume her trail down Kelly's collarbone to her chest.
"I thought we'd never do this again." She breathed it across her skin and shifted her leg between the older girls, putting her thigh behind her hand to increase the pressure, delighting in Kelly's quiet moan.
"Hm." She grumbled her disapproval of that thought and Soph shared the sentiment. To stop this would be criminal.
"Enough talking." She huffed and suddenly the pressure was gone, Soph managed half a whine before it quickly became something louder and much more approving as Kelly's hand slipped into her underwear, returning to where she needed it unhindered.
"Yesss." She hissed against the older girl's skin and moved to push Kelly's underwear aside. Her head was tipped back once more and her lips caught the sinful sound that left the older girl's lips as she pressed in, feeling her own shiver as Kelly mirrored the action.
It was all she could do to drag the nails of her free hand down the woman's back, pulling her closer, pinning herself to the wall beneath her.
Fucking hell it was too good.
Much too good, as embarrassingly quickly, Soph had to break their kiss to bury her face in Kelly's neck, her hips losing rhythm. The older girl's free arm wrapped tightly around her and she bit down hard on the woman's choker in a vain attempt to stifle the whine that left her as she crashed over the edge. Even her hand stopped moving as she rode it out, too lost to focus on anything other than Kelly as she coaxed her through.
When she finally slumped back against the bricks, Kelly took her hand back, and as tired as Soph was, she allowed herself a lazy smirk as she looked up at Jones through her lashes.
"Wha-Oh." She interrupted whatever snark Kelly was about to throw her way by curling her fingers, her smirk only growing as she adjusted her hand to press her thumb where she knew Kelly wanted it and the older girl hummed her approval. Her free hand wound around the woman's waist, helping to guide the rolling of her hips, but even as she leaned forward to reclaim her lips, she found herself stopped by a, now free, hand. Kelly's eyes reopened and Soph met her dark gaze with an arched brow as the woman pressed her forefinger to Soph's lips. A new wave of heat spread through her as she obediently allowed her lips to part, allowed the fingers that had just driven her mad to enter her mouth, running her tongue over one, then the other, and watching with delight as Kelly's mind unravelled with every flick of her tongue.
With a sharp nip, she let them go and leaned in, Kelly's hand sliding back into her hair with a furious grip to bring their lips together faster and Soph was all too happy to oblige. Jones' tongue sought hers and an obscene sound left her throat. Soph smirked into the kiss, knowing full well what she could taste.
It wasn't long before Kelly's movements became erratic. Ignoring the ache in her wrist, Soph doubled her pace, breaking their kiss to lean in and press her lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear that made her shiver, before trailing down, unashamedly marking porcelain skin just below the choker.
Nails dragged over the delicate skin of her stomach and Soph felt Kelly bite down hard on her t-shirt to stifle the moan that she felt vibrate from the other woman's chest to hers as she tumbled over the edge. She took her thumb away but kept up the movement of her fingers to keep it going as long as possible, but as the older girl's muscles relaxed, Soph stopped, gently taking her hand back.
Faster to recover than Sophie, Kelly leaned back just enough to claim her lips in a lazy kiss, arms barely wrapping around her waist so much as resting there. When they had to breathe, Soph coaxed the other woman to join her on the floor, positioning herself against the wall so Kelly could lean against her. Sure enough, the older girl did just that, but turned sideways to tuck her head under Soph's chin, her warm breath ticking across her collarbone.
The air was cold, but they were warm, they had some time to just... be.
Of course, with the tension gone, the weight of what had almost just happened fell hard on her shoulders. She'd nearly lost her. She nearly lost everything she'd worked for because she was a selfish ass, because she couldn't trust people. If she fucked up again… There was probably a limit to how much the woman could forgive. It would be a tough one… Honesty… Trust… Being with her…
Hopefully, she'd manage it.
Sadly, the peace had to end as Kelly's phone chirped. She sighed as she checked it.
"We need to get down there." She didn't sound keen on the idea, but Soph knew better than to try and persuade her to shirk head girl duties.
"If you insist." She chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss to the back of her neck. Kelly turned toward her with a smirk.
"No rest for the wicked." She leaned in, and Soph gladly mirrored the action, smiling against Kelly's lips.
"Hm, I am that." She smirked as she pulled back as Jones grinned.
"Guess we won't be doing much sleeping then." Her tone was almost enough to make Soph stop her from getting to her feet, but as the woman righted her skirt and began tucking her shirt back into it, she simply sighed instead.
"Evil woman." She shook her head as she hopped to her feet, unable to muster a real scowl while she did up her jeans.
Back down in the dorms, Soph hesitated at the door of the Head Girl's room, Kelly noticed; she turned back and leaned against the frame. Oddly, she looked a little guilty. Awkward silence settled over them and Soph was surprised when she felt fingers catch hers, tugging lightly.
"Come on." She muttered and took a step back, Soph followed, letting the woman lead her in. Kelly shut the door behind them and stepped back, letting go of her to run her hand through her hair.
"I was… A little hasty, tossing your stuff out so fast." She cast her gaze to the floor and Soph blinked in astonishment.
What?
"Kelly." She frowned and stepped forward, catching the woman's hands and squeezing tightly.
"I deserved it, and worse. Quite frankly, I expected you to have me lynched. Don't tell me you feel bad for reacting completely rationally?" Her stomach twisted uncomfortably at the very idea, and as Kelly was clearly about to protest, she continued.
"You've decided to give me another chance, but that doesn't mean it never happened. Now, if you were planning to hold it over my head for ages, that would make you an ass. But anything you did in reaction was totally justified and definitely nothing to feel bad about."
Look at her, being all grown up.
If she was honest, she had no idea where it was coming from, but it made sense in her head, so she was letting it fall out of her mouth.
She was cut off from saying anything further as Kelly's lips crushed against hers.
Who was she to argue with that point?
When they broke apart, Kelly's hand found the side of her face.
"And that's why we're okay. You're already different." She smiled but Soph frowned in confusion.
"You're still a paranoid, somewhat antisocial, weirdo…" She began and at Sophie's arched brow, she sighed, dropping her grin.
"You're still you, but the fact that you owned up and recognised how guilty you felt is serious progress for you, as is everything you've done and told me over the last few months. You know that as much as I do." She tipped her head and Soph sighed. The woman wasn't wrong, finding someone she could trust was doing wonders for her psyche… Treacherous levels of guilt aside. She supposed, maybe, that improvement was leading her to make less selfish decisions and generally be nicer to people without ulterior motives… Of course, having it spelled out like that was a little shaming, and a sudden flash image of herself being a total do-gooder made her grimace.
"Ugh, you're right. Quick, get me some class A narcotics and a teacher's coffee mug before I start handing out puppies." She pulled a disgusted look onto her face that was only half false and Kelly laughed, pulling her forward until she could let go of her hands to wrap her arms around her waist.
"If you get hold of any puppies, I'll be taking them, and don't worry, you get that nice, I'll stick you in re-hab." She leaned down, stopping a little short as though waiting for Soph to stop sulking. It was a valid thing to wait for… She was fairly annoyed by this news…
But, she could hardly resist kissing the other girl for any reason, so with a grumble of annoyance, she hooked a hand behind Kelly's neck, bringing their lips together once more.
Busy day, if only they didn't have a party to attend, she could sleep for a week.
Fortunately for her, Kelly could read her like a billboard and left her behind at the dorms under the guise of moving her stuff back in, giving her the much needed alone time to re-calibrate her thoughts and prepare herself to deal with more social interaction for the evening.
As she was getting out of the shower, the woman reappeared.
"Interesting choice of outfit." She arched a brow with a smirk, gesturing to the towel and Soph grinned.
"What? You don't like it?" She leaned against the wall a little self-consciously, aware of how little skin was covered, but Jones didn't even blink, leaning down for a brief kiss.
"Definitely never said that. Sadly though, it's uniforms for the party tonight." She grinned and Soph chuckled.
"Why is it always uniforms for parties?" She tipped her head as Jones stepped past her to head into the bathroom.
"It's less of a uniform, more of a 'if found please return to' tag." She spoke over her shoulder as she unzipped her skirt and Soph folded her arms to lean against the door frame. She considered this for a moment and chuckled as she dealt with the mental image of police trying to return St. Trinian's students.
"Are you going to just stand there, or are you joining me?" She was snapped back to reality as she found Kelly watching her with an amused smirk. Soph flashed a grin.
"Tempting, but we need to head down to the party in less than an hour, I'll get dressed." They both knew it wasn't the whole reason she wasn't joining her, but the soft smile on the older girl's face made it clear she wasn't going to mention it.
The party was impressive, even by St. Trinian's standards. Soph hadn't actually realised how many of the students and teachers had returned while she was lost in her drama bubble. It was actually kind of nice, to have the place full again. Anoushka handed over their drinks with a surprisingly sober smile, but judging on the bottle of trinski sat nearby, it wouldn't be long until she was back to her usual self. So as The Banned took the stage, Soph was happy to settle against her usual pillar and watch the place go mad. It was nice… Almost like coming home.
Kelly weaved through the crowd with ease, hugs here, exchanged grins there. She was checking over her domain, making sure everyone had come back alive. Sophie simply smiled to herself and took a long drink, New Years was rushing forward and there was nothing to do but enjoy the party.
At some point, she was dragged into the fray, but her resistance was less than token as they wormed their way through the masses to a good spot near the front. She grinned as she used her grip on Kelly's hand to spin her around, pulling the older girl close in the tiny space. Jones laughed, her arms coming to rest on Soph's shoulders as they began to dance.
Midnight approached with surprising speed, and as it drew dangerously near, the music stopped. Sophie looked to Kelly in confusion, but at the older girl's knowing smirk, she opted not to ask. Instead she watched as the screen at the back of the stage flickered and changed. Instead of The Banned logo, it now showed... Spy cam footage? It took Soph a long moment to recognise the building she was staring at, but as she did she turned to confirm her suspicions with Kelly, only to find her already grinning at her, as if she'd been waiting for it.
"Cheltenham?" She whispered and the older girl let go of her hand to wrap an arm around her waist.
"Just watch." Kelly whispered back and Soph shifted to rest a hand on the other girl's hip as she turned to just that.
"Ten!" The girls of the band started them off and anticipation built in Soph's stomach.
"Nine, eight, seven, six, five..." The room chanted as a whole and even she had to join in.
"Four, three, two, one!" On one, there was an explosion of sound. Soph almost ducked before she realised it had come from the sound system, not the room itself. It took a moment, but as she turned back to the screen, she discovered what it was. Fire hoses, more than she could count, firing all at once, all aimed at Cheltenham. As far as she could tell from the dark camera image... It was neon yellow.
The room burst into laughter as the building was covered, from the top of its chimney, to the pristine hedges, in neon paint. Soph couldn't help but chuckle to herself as she watched a few unfortunate souls hat had stayed behind try to come out and see what the noise was, only to be caught in a jet themselves. At such a distance, the force of the paint would hurt, but it wouldn't do much more than a minor bruise. Soph was almost sure that was carefully calculated to ensure the prank remained just that, and didn't turn into GBH.
The hand on her waist squeezed lightly and Soph turned to find Kelly watching her, a strangely soft smile on her face. She leaned up, smiling as Kelly dipped her head to meet her. The kiss was nothing aggressive, it was slow, gentle, and painfully sweet. They'd kissed like this before, but Soph was startled by the absence of sharp pain in her gut. Guilt lingered, of course it did, but Kelly knew it all now, she knew and she'd forgiven her. Warmth spread through her chest and she reached up with her free hand to catch the side of her face, unwilling to pull away for the first time in... ever. The arm around her waist tightened and she felt Kelly smile against her lips. This shit was addictive.
When they finally parted, it was only enough to breathe.
"Happy new year." Jones smiled and Soph couldn't help but grin.
"Happy new year." They shared a chuckle and turned to watch the rest of the show, the crowd of students around them still cheering and yelling at the screen.
It had been one hell of a year, and they still had the rest of the term to handle yet. Soph had no idea what was coming, but honestly, she didn't care. No matter what it was, they'd handle it.
Whew, drama, I can safely say I've grown out of being quite this melodramatic, but Sophie hasn't, so we have to live with it.
But, at least that's everything squared away now. No more troubles for these two, right? If you've never read this story, or anything I've ever written before, you might believe that, but I'll let you find out what happens next for yourselves. For now, goodnight, I hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope to see you again next week. Thank you - J
