A/N: You guys, aww. Thank you all so much for taking the time to leave a review. You don't know just how happy it makes me that a few of you are going to indulge my weirdness for this and how much that truly means to me. It means the world to me. I hope you continue to enjoy this as it progresses. I can't say whether it'll be slow paced or not, but given the fact that I planned for my other current on-going fic to be slow burn and apparently, it's not gonna be, I am learning that maybe I shouldn't plan for any particular pacing.
Again, a deep thank you to every single one of you kind souls who left a comment. :)
Just so I don't confuse anyone. Jenny's pov and Morgan's pov will be in first person, because they're the two main characters here. Anything else that happens (filler scenes, other characters) will be written in third. It's weird, but it's the way I write most comfortably.
Also, if anyone's caught on, this part is all unfolding just before when Morgan would've had his accident. He won't be dying here. I might swap out that whole bad decision made by the writers for something equally big but smaller scale happening instead, I haven't quite decided yet...
TWO
The door to the bar opened from the other side before I could reach for the handle. Morgan stood on the other side, barely managing to keep himself upright. A half full bottle of Jim Beam clutched tight in his right hand. I gulped. Tensing a little, because I've just never been good at dealing with drunk people, men in particular.
I have Joey, my ex, to thank for that.
But everything I'd heard Sonny say about Morgan's struggles as of late during our card game two weeks before came back to me and I knew right then that I couldn't just leave Morgan to fend for himself in good conscience. So, bracing myself for even a hint of confrontation, I sighed and shook my head. "Okay, you big lug. How much have you had?" I asked.
Morgan snickered as he tried to remember the amount of alcohol consumed by him over the course of the night. He reeked like the bottom of a bottle and I grimaced at the heavy smell of booze. He went to take a step forward, swaying and dizzy and when he did, he sort of stumbled over the step up in the opening of the door. I caught hold of him and managed to get a muscular arm around my shoulder and then maneuver him out the door of the bar.
"H-heyyyy. It's you."
"Yes. Hi." I muttered, giving just the slightest roll of my eyes as I gazed up at Morgan. "How'd you get here?"
"W-walked. F-from m-my m-mom's place. Since apparently, I can't b-be trusted r-right n-now to just stay a-alone." Morgan grumbled, a sour look darkening baby blue eyes even if just for a split second.
"It's probably not that, you lug. Maybe your mom is worried. C'mon, big guy. It's entirely too goddamn cold out here and you're way too wasted for me to just let ya walk to your mom's place with a clear conscience." I grumbled as I dug around in my pockets for the key to my own car as the icy blast of early October wind picked up all around us. Morgan was practically falling on top of me and I had to laugh at the situation I currently found myself in because I swear to God, I'd just made the decision to avoid the guy after finding his thirst-trap filled Instagram and realizing that apparently, at my core I'm still drawn to the bad boys and yet, I've managed to run into Morgan at least five different times since.
"W-we've gotta s-stop m-meeting like t-this, Jenny." Morgan drawled, his eyes softening as his gaze settled on mine. "Honestly, I have to agree, sir. I told myself I was going to stay the entire fuck away from you and yet... Here I am." I mumbled, mostly to myself, thinking he was too drunk right now to pay attention. He glanced at me with a hurt look, pointing at himself.
I sighed and shook my head. "Sorry.. Look, it's not you, okay? It's just..." I trailed off, going quiet. Maybe it was better off that the guy thought I disliked him for whatever reason.
Apparently, whiskey makes Morgan mouthy. Confrontational.
"What? A-am I-i too f-fucked up f-for you t-too?"
I tensed a little. The last thing I wanted to do was to have a public confrontation with the guy over nothing. Deeper down, I know myself... as much as I find myself looking at his fucking Instagram page since our first little run in and every single one after the fact, I know that the last thing I need right now given that I moved all the way here just to break my little pattern of getting mixed up with guys I know won't ever really stick around or are only going to hurt me in the long run if they do... It's just a bad idea.
I intended to just ignore his remark, but before I could stop myself, I was responding instead. Because even though I know letting him think I dislike him is clearly the better -and safer, choice, I just.. I can't. I don't know why, exactly, but I couldn't let it stay this way.
"One, you don't know me. Two, I'm actually just getting out of a really fucking toxic situation. Not that it's any of your business. Less pouting, big guy. More walking. My car is right over there." I nodded towards my Mustang as we approached it and Morgan chuckled quietly. Muttering something to himself that I couldn't quite make out.
I got him leaned against the passenger door and then unlocked it, throwing the door open. Letting Morgan attempt to sink down in the seat and after two attempts and both times resulting in him, nearly planting his ass in cold, wet snow I gently guided him down into the seat and leaned in over him to reach for the seatbelt buckle as I pulled his seatbelt snug over him.
I was definitely not prepared for what happened as I went to straighten up and pull away. He grabbed hold of my hips, pulling me right down into his lap. Staring at me quietly for a few seconds. Seconds that seemed to stretch and linger. I gave an annoyed huff, pouting at him. A non-amused look on my face as I muttered patiently, "The hell was that for, huh?"
"Y-you're s-so fuckin p-pretty."
" And you've got shitty eyesight, apparently. As much as this little moment's amusin' me, sir.. Maybe let me up so I can transport your drunken ass back to your mom's place and get back to pick up my wings and cheesy breadsticks and the pitcher of Michelob I ordered so maybe I actually make it back to my place to see at least a few minutes of the first half of this game I'm watchin?" I pleaded. Shifting in his lap. Trying to focus on anything but how good his hands felt on my body as he held me in place. I cleared my throat, repeating myself. "Sir."
He released his grip and I wiggled free from his lap. Taking a second or two in the frigid air to cool down the fire Morgan just unknowingly ignited in me before stomping around to the driver side of my car, slipping into the seat and putting my key into the ignition.
I pulled out into traffic and glanced over at him when my car came to a stop beneath the red light. "You're not gonna like.. Hurl. In my car. Right?" I asked. Morgan shook his head. Turning his attention back to the passenger window. Leaning his forehead against the cool glass as he muttered about making an ass out of himself and sort of loudly internalized the fact that apparently, I found him annoying. Further adding that lately, it felt like everyone either pitied him or felt annoyed or even angry with him.
"It's not that." I muttered after a second or two. "In my case, it's like I told you not even five minutes ago. I'm just getting out of a really, really bad thing. Kind of why I moved here to begin with."
"Oh." Morgan muttered, fixing his gaze on me. Concern in his gaze as he asked quietly, "H-how bad?"
"I dated the same guy from my freshman year of high school to my last year of nursing school and let's just say, I didn't come out without scars. I'd really rather not get into it, okay?" I answered, reaching for the knob on the radio to lower it. He'd turned it up entirely too loud. As if it weren't hard enough to focus without a literal breathing thirst trap sitting in my passenger seat, he had to go and add the jarring sounds of some godawful mumble rap station to the mix. "Where do you live, exactly?"
"I-it's the n-next block." Morgan muttered after a second or two of just staring at me thoughtfully. So intently that I found myself squirming under his gaze a little. Drumming my steering wheel as I hummed along to a song playing on the local hard rock station I'd flipped to when I just couldn't take another second of the crap he apparently called music.
I turned down the next block, lined with all these big cookie cutter houses. Fancy houses. Kind of like the one my late sister's ex husband and my late sister lived in. I mean, I knew his father was well off, but I'd honestly figured that maybe his mom was probably less well off. And in the moment I pulled my red Mustang to a stop behind the latest year model Land Rover, I added yet another weak reason as to why Morgan and I would literally never work out if anything were to happen between us to the list.
Because my own place back in Pine Valley? While it wasn't small or anything. Pretty sure the whole of my mom and dad's old place could fit in two of the rooms on the first floor of this one. And that alone told me that more likely than not, this guy had gone his entire life with everything pretty much handed to him.
,, you know this is a weak reason. he's probably one of the most down to Earth guys you've met in a long time... when he's not off his face drunk, that is." the thought came and I rolled my eyes as I tried to put that right out of my head and hopefully, nip it right in the bud. Morgan was trying to pull himself out of the car and I killed the engine, getting out of my side. Walking around to his and opening the door. Wrangling him up from the seat despite the guy being at least a foot and a half taller than me and built as solid as a boxer.
We're not even going to get into the effect having him practically leaning on top of me just to stand was currently having on me.
About halfway to his mother's front door, he started to try stalling. Trying to convince me that he didn't want to stay. And it took everything in me not to cave in and just help him back to my car, but... He was safer here, with family. Not out in town somewhere, totally incapacitated and alone. I didn't want anything to happen to him.
I didn't want to spend the whole night worrying about the guy either, and I knew that if I were to listen to him and cave in, take him elsewhere, I would do that very thing. The only way I wouldn't would be to take him back to my place and there was... Literally no way I was about to dangle that big of a temptation in front of myself. Not when I know exactly how fast I tend to turn to putty around him and just lose all my common sense. Nope. Not about to happen.
"H-hey."
"Yeah, tiger?" I asked, my tone distracted. Trying to focus on getting him up the walkway and not so much on just how good and warm he felt pressed against me and leaning into me heavily. Or how yummy his cologne smelled.
"How c-come y-your I-instagram is p-private. Because like.. I w-wanted t-to find y-you and see y-you t-two nights ago, I-I was g-gonna show m-my brother Dante what y-you looked like, but when I went to y-your profile, it was private."
I swallowed hard, blinking a little. Laughing softly as I shook my head. I ignored his question long enough to mutter, "Okay, tiger. You've gotta lift your foot, otherwise, you're gonna faceplant the damn stairs and bruise that handsome face. C'mon." and help him onto the stairs, grateful that his family didn't live on a hill or have a high porch on the place more than anything right now.
Fully aware that I would be replaying every single second of all our run ins so far in my head later, even though I know that is the last thing I need to do. He repeated his question as we stopped at his front door and I gave a soft laugh. "If it means that much to you, tiger. All you have to do is follow."
Why the hell did I think that was even remotely a good idea? I wanted to kick myself as soon as the words left my mouth.
I knocked on the front door and a minute or two later, the door was thrown open by one of the girls I've been working with at the gym. I gave my best smile as Morgan leaned on me even more. Drawling a hello at what was apparently his kid sister, Josslyn Jacks.
As soon as it sank in who exactly her mother was, I braced myself.
Because the little I do know about Josslyn's mom, well... She is definitely not a person one forgets. Or deals with while lacking anything less than a backbone made of titanium.
Joss's mom came to the door, rushing to help Morgan inside once she glanced over at me and realized that Morgan was putting a good 95 percent of his weight on me just to stay up. "Damn it, Morgan. Sweetie, what on earth made you do this? Was it seeing Kiki earlier? I knew seeing her would set you off. I told her to leave you alone. I told your brother to stop flaunting her around like this because it's hurting you." Carly shook her head, a pained but slightly exasperated look in her eyes as she herded Morgan towards a huge suede sectional and started to tug off heavy soled boots.
After she'd done that, she walked back over to the door. Gazing at me for a few seconds. Sizing me up. And I'm enough of my mother's daughter that I didn't cower or shrink away, thank god. When I didn't seem to do either thing, she managed a small and tight smile.
I recognize the look a mile away. She was being formally polite.
I raised a hand, dragging it through slightly wet blonde strands. Calling out to Morgan over her shoulder, "For the love of God, stay put. There's gonna be another snowstorm tonight, you doofus. The last thing you need is fucking hypothermia. If you absolutely have to drink, get your mom to order you booze to go or something from an Uber, shit. Like a sane rich person, Jesus Christ. Don't see any of the rest of Port Charles elite running around to get their drink on tonight... Do what they're doing and stay home for the love of fuck because I don't want to worry." grumbling to myself before turning my gaze back to Carly. A brow quirked at the expression on her face. I fidgeted, wondering just how much of the last bit of what I'd said she might have heard. And then reminding myself that I simply couldn't be bothered to care. I was here to make sure Morgan was safe at home and that was strictly all there was to it.
I started down the steps and she called out to me, stopping me. "Thank you."
I waved it off. "I owed him, Mrs. Corinthos. Now we're even." I dismissed what I'd done as just being a favor owed, but deep down inside, I knew it was so much more complex than that. It was the damned magnetic pull I seemed to find myself on the receiving end of since my first run in with Morgan Corinthos two weeks before. The urge to take care of him.
The same urge that's only royally screwed me over in the past, because I have a tendency, I'm discovering. I put entirely too much love and care into men who could give a shit less about me if they tried and I always wind up hurting by the time it's all said and done.
"Hey, do you wanna come in and warm up?" Joss called out from behind her mom. I shook my head, answering with a soft laugh, "Nah. I've got food waiting to be picked up at the bar and a hockey game to get back to. I'll see you in class on Monday, Joss."
"I can't wait." Joss smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up. And I've been working with her for gymnastics training long enough by now to know that the look in her eyes? Definitely the one she gets when she's up to something, or she's getting an idea. I get the feeling that I probably don't want to know what she's thinking right now because somehow, I get the feeling that the inability I seem to possess lately when it comes to finding myself in the same place as Morgan, at the same time and having the good sense to leave like I know I need to?
It's probably about to get a whole lot harder to do. Because I'm at least halfway sure that now, Josslyn assumes that I'm into him because she's made the observation by now that I am not really a people person. That I keep to myself and do my own thing. I'm the last person you'll find caught up in front page gossip. I prefer to stay as low-key as possible.
So I'm pretty damn sure that Josslyn has read into me bringing Morgan home tonight and she's come to the correct conclusion or she's dangerously close to doing that very thing if she hasn't just yet. Even if I'd die before I admit I feel anything, physical attraction or deeper than that, towards her brother. And now, she's probably gonna start the age-old younger sibling meddling.
Carly stopped me again, just as I was about to get into my car. "Be careful driving yourself home."
I managed exactly the same formal and stiff smile she'd given me when she first opened the door as I shrugged. "I'm a big girl." I answered, giving her a bit of a smirk as I got into my car, closed the door and started the car. I turned up the radio as soon as I realized that it was playing my favorite Motley Crue song and as quickly as I could, I was driving away.
I prepared myself for another one of my mom's lectures. Instead, she sat down on the edge of the sofa I was sprawled out on, staring into the fire for a few minutes. " Just now. That girl who brought you home said she owed you something... Does this have anything to do with the fight outside your father's cafe two weeks ago?"
I gave her the thumbs up, staying silent.
"What happened, hm?"
"Some guy grabbed her purse. I'd stepped out to answer my cell phone and I saw the guy coming towards me so I fucking tackled him. She was already chasing the guy down, shoving through everyone on the sidewalk. She looked pretty pissed too. Pretty sure she had a knife in her boot with the money she insisted on giving me after I gave her the purse back."
My mom's mouth opened and closed like she wanted to say something. Knowing my mom as well as I do, I knew exactly what she was about to do and I sighed. "Don't start, Mom. I've got a bitching headache. I don't feel like hearing a lecture about how this girl is bad news. If it makes ya feel better, she seems annoyed every time I see her."
My mom's brow raised. Apparently, she thought that Jenny was up to the same thing as Kiki had been when we first met. Initiating things between us. Sucking me in right over my head. I could feel the bitterness taking over at the thought because sadly, every single time Jenny and I have ran into each other since we met last week, I've been the one to initiate it. I've pretty much just been seeking her out.
I keep telling myself that it's pathetic and it's probably the dumbest fucking idea I've ever had, especially when you stop to think of what a mess I am and how fucked everything I touch winds up getting, but I can't stop myself no matter how hard I try. There's just something about her. I was drawn in from the minute she grabbed hold of my hand and closed her hand around it to make me take the money she stubbornly refused to keep for herself after I told her at least five times I didn't want to take it, that I'd just done the right thing.
And when I went down to watch Joss in gymnastics class and just sort of think and I found out that she teaches Joss's class and that Joss knows her pretty well and seems to like her a lot, I was kind of curious.
That's all this is. It's curiosity. It's me, just trying to stick close to the light. Because the darkness I feel lately is kind of overwhelming. I mean, not even last month, I was standing on the roof of the hospital. I wanted to jump. Sometimes I still think everyone would've been better off, myself included. But the more I try to tell myself to stay the fuck away from Jenny before I mess her up too, the stronger the urge is to seek her out. Get to know her.
My mom finally spoke up again. "Maybe she's just grumpy. I doubt she's annoyed with you." my mom paused to smile, reaching out to fluff my hair as she teased, "Not my handsome son. I can't even stay angry at you that long, so I doubt some girl who barely knows you has any reason to be annoyed with you."
I managed a smile, even though I don't believe a word she's saying. It's hard to when my entire life, the only true constant I've known is that sooner or later, everyone walks away. "Well, trust me. She's annoyed. Because I've been sort of bumping into her and every single time I do, it's like she can't get away fast enough."
"She cared enough to drive you home." my mom pointed out. "She cared enough that she went on a rant about how you need to stay put tonight if you want to drink because of the storm we're going to get later and it seemed to me that she was worried. Not the actions of a person who's annoyed by the mere sight of you like you're suggesting."
"Because she's nice, Mom. Not everyone has an alterior motive or finds me irresistable. Shocking, I know." I mumbled, grimacing as I sat myself up and the headache that settled in seemed to worsen. "I knew I should've stopped after the first half of the bottle started to go down way too smooth."
"You shouldn't be drinking at all. Your medicine, remember? Speaking of... you did take it, right? I laid it out for you. I told Joss to make sure you got it, too."
Josslyn spoke up from the doorway of the living room, wandering in to sit in the chair next to the couch. "I made him take it. Told him I'd shove it down his throat if he didn't." she giggled, giving me a concerned gaze. "It's not because you saw Kiki out with Michael earlier, is it?"
I shrugged. They already think I'm a ticking time bomb, I'm not about to give them any more of a reason to do it. I'm tired of everyone treating me like I'm made of glass. I'm tired of everyone rushing to overprotect. Kind of ironic, because before the diagnosis, I was just the family fuck up. The source of all my parents frustrations. Now it's like they're afraid that any second, something will be too much and it'll set me off.
Nobody treats Sonny like that and he's got the same damn disease. And given how often he used to go off his meds for this, it kind of feels like they should've done the same to him.
"I agree with mom. She's not annoyed with you. If she were, I wouldn't have caught her watching the video you posted at the gym yesterday. Grumbling about thirst traps and how they should be ignored at all costs. That's what she calls you, by the way. A thirst trap."
My mom's brow raised. "What's a thirst trap?"
"It basically means that she thinks Morgan's hot." Joss answered, shrugging. "Before you say anything, mom... Jenny's not like Kiki. I don't even think she likes Kiki, being honest. Kiki came in to do yoga last week while we were having a lesson and you could just see the annoyance when Jenny looked her way. Plus, she's referred to Kiki as a bimbo on more than one occasion when she's talking on the phone to her mom or a friend from back where she's from."
My mom snickered, amused by what Joss was saying. Going serious as she glanced at me and cautioned, " You have a lot going on right now."
"I know, mom. I know. If I could control myself and stop seeking her out, trust me. I'd gladly do it. The last thing she needs is to get mixed up with me." I muttered, dropping my gaze down to my jeans.
"Don't say that, sweetie. You are a kind man. Anybody would be lucky to have you. There's nothing wrong with you. Sonny has the same thing too and despite the fact that we can't make anything work, I still love him. I just think you need to focus on yourself. On working through this and adjusting to everything. Working through the pain you felt when you found out Avery wasn't yours too. Just.. Promise me you won't rush into anything. One day, you'll have everything you want. You just need to work on everything you're going through right now first."
"Oh, trust me. I'm done. There's no reason to worry about any of that literally ever again."
Satisfied with my answer, my mom left the room and went upstairs, to go back to bed. This left Joss and me alone in the living room. Joss spoke up after a few minutes.
"She was dating this really bad guy named Joey. From what little she's said about it all, he really messed with her head. Then he'd pretend to be a nice guy, he'd pretend he was going to change, that he wasn't going to do whatever it was that he did anymore or he'd convince her that he needed her around. Then she'd take him back and the cycle would start all over again."
"How bad was it?"
Joss shrugged. "It must've been pretty bad for her to move all the way to New York just so she wouldn't fall for his crap again. He called her one day before my gymnastics lesson started and I kind of came in during the middle of a pretty heated argument. She looked like she'd been crying too."
I tensed a little. I didn't like hearing it, but logically, the way Jenny acted every time I sought her out now at least made a little sense. Because until Joss told me everything she'd just said, I'd been under the impression that between our first meeting last week and lately, she'd heard about me and either written me off or thought I was as pathetic as everyone else seems to.
"All I'm saying, Morgan... she is aware of you. Painfully aware. Because when you came in to watch me on Monday, she couldn't take her eyes off you. I caught her staring on more than one occasion. But she's probably afraid too. Mom's right though. You need to work through everything you've been through, okay?"
I nodded. Shrugging. Pointing out what I'd pointed out to our mom a few minutes ago, that I was done. That I'm sick of trying to be happy and somehow either making a complete mess of it or having it all snatched right out of my hands. Josslyn leaned against me and glanced up. "Do you want some Tylenol?"
"It'd help, yeah."
"I'll get you Tylenol and I'll find us something to snack on." Joss offered, springing up to go get Tylenol for me. I sank back into the couch, replaying just how much of an ass I'd managed to make of myself earlier when she brought me back home. Dwelling on the new information my sister had given me, whether I wanted to or not.
God knows, I tried not to.
I wound up pulling out my phone and going to my Instagram app. Finding her profile. For a minute or two, my finger lingered over the Follow button. I tried to tell myself that having that much access to her was definitely not a good idea, but I caved in to my own curiosity about her.
Joss had just sat back down when my phone screen lit up with a notification. From Instagram.
Apparently, she'd followed me back just now.
Before I got tempted to do anything else stupid, I gave Joss the phone and told her to put it somewhere. She did what I asked and we settled in to watch the marathon of horror movies playing on the big screen tv in front of us.
I just have to try harder to stay away. I have to.
